Think, Pair, Swear

Anticipatory Set: As if putting on a public school theater production wasn’t hard enough, now all over the United States parents and school boards are getting them censored or banned. Masks, queer kids, books and now the performing arts. Next up, football. Ha. Sure, Jan. Dalton shares a story about the blood sacrifice a student made from the musical Snoopy. Getting schooled: Justin confuses Emma Thompson with Emma Stone. Nobody’s parents think their child is a miracle. Lots of children d...

There’s listener mail involving Pez dispensers, psychotic nuns, Justin supplying Emily Valentine with rolls of quarters, and teachers that don’t like authority figures. They put two School House Rock songs on trial and Judge Jeff Vincent (Ronnie’s other half) sentences one of them to die as it’s a battle for the worst. Which host presents the best case? Does it matter? Finally it’s revealed what’s up with the summer episodes: It’s summer break as Think, Pair, Swear goes to summer camp. T...

Anticipatory Set: A year after the release of this film, Ronald Reagan sounded the alarm on American education called “A Nation at Risk”: a series of lies and hyperbole that kicked off a narrative of teachers as villains and public education as a failure. Repercussion still felt today. Schooled: Former high school teacher and San Diego resident Matt Michell helps Ronnie and Justin learn about California stereotypes versus reality. The mall in this movie is really a supporting character i...

Anti Set: Ronnie attempted to have Chat GPT humorously summarize a real lawsuit involving a teacher let go for testing positive for drugs after having an epileptic seizure. Does a school district have the right to drug test teachers? Looks like the Connecticut courts have an answer and the host have an answer for how Chat GPT interprets humor: lots of bizarre similes and metaphors. Schooled: Well your hosts LOVED this sitcom. Hahaha. Nope. This was a mess of over-acting, garish costumes,...

Anti Set: People of color are not going into education and many are beginning to notice. How do colleges and school districts attract diverse hires especially when DEI programs are being demonized by politicians on the right? Justin found an article with some solutions. Schooled: It’s a trip back in time to London in the 1960s and the hosts are drooling over Sydney Poitier’s dance moves, butt in those suits and well basically everything he does. Even though he slut shames every girl in c...

Anti Set: A teacher sets up a fight club in their school, a student is injured and parents file a lawsuit. Yes. This really happened. Why? Just why? While student engagement was probably at an all time high, it isn’t advised. Schooled: This lesbian girl fight club saga has it all: Pre-DUI Marshawn Lynch, caged football players, “Total Eclipse of the Heart” accompanying exploding cars, ugly and untalented gays, deadly pineapples, a Gen Z using a phonebook, a unit on Women Murdered in Hist...

Anti Set: Is your principal a psychopath? A teacher in Australia worked with one and wrote a book about it. How can you tell if you too are working with one? This article gives us some hints, and it hits a little too close to home for Ronnie.Schooled: What if your teacher was a narcissistic sociopath? This theme is explored and would have been a good time to share mean teacher stories, but the hosts had their hands full with this disturbing tale. They’ve got another groomer to dissect this ep...

Anti Set: The rich kids at an elite New York school are hosting parties at exclusive venues and charging each other for the experience. They turned it into a niche money making opportunity and good for them. Would our hosts attend that kind of party back then? Schooled: Two episodes. The emergence of Emily Valentine as psychotic. That's what’s onboard for this listener requested return to the land of these dummies. It has it all: A 43 year old girl who made a choice about bangs. A Party ...

Anti Set: Guess what? Journalists frequently leave out the voice of educators when covering education, and frequently focus on firings and school board happenings. Shocker. One researcher has an idea to shift that but will journalists or school districts listen? Schooled: Another teacher tries to get with a student in this romantic comedy that made both hosts very uncomfortable. Why is Drew Barrymore’s voice like that the whole movie? Who kept dressing her in feather boas? Why did they u...

Anticipatory Set: Justin has a history lesson on federally funded indigenous boarding schools, and the trauma they caused Native Americans in the United States. All in the name of assimilation and a cheap labor force. Horrifying. Getting schooled: Keeping with the light tone, our hosts critique this World War II drama where priests hide Jewish students in a boarding school in the French countryside. This school is the Lord of the Flies meets the Sound of Music but with extra Nazis....

Anticipatory Set: What were the different student groups you had when you were in school? Ronnie offers some data from a study on high school hierarchies and where students see themselves from 2023. Were Ronnie and Justin a part of the popular kids? The jocks? Avid listeners already know the answer to this one.Getting schooled: We’re going back to 1986 where it's the rich kids vs the poor kids and Molly Ringwald has some fashion tips. Can a fun soundtrack of 80s new wave save them from themse...

Anti Set: Between the serious news item vs something a bit lighter, choices were made and then regretted. Justin, in lieu of it being his birthday “season” would like to hear a favorite memory Ronnie has from celebrating his birthday. Stories were told. Nothing like a 30-something homosexual celebrating their birthday all month to make one regret their life decisions. Schooled: Heathers had it all: Chainsaws. Large handwriting. Christian Slater doing a bad Jack Nicholson voice. Winona Ry...

Anticipatory Set: Should a teacher supplement their low salary by doing an OnlyFans? Well two English teachers from the same Missouri high school found out the answer to that in the last year. And the answer is sure. But can you use it for career ladder hours? Getting Schooled: Whoa. This was a heavy one to watch. One definitely finds out what Sting was singing about all those years ago with “Don’t Stand So Close to Me.” A new teacher goes from stealing lipstick at the Piggly Wiggly to k...

Anticipatory Set: White teachers who teach students of color are offered advice from an instructional coach at a Title 1 charter school. Basically don’t do what the film version of Luann does in Dangerous Minds. Getting Schooled: Luann Johnson is probably a lovely woman in real life but this movie version of her is a mess, and not just because Michelle Pfieiffer’s Southern accent comes and goes. It’a a horrific caricature of a white teacher working with students of color. The hosts marve...

Anticipatory Set: Ronnie channels his inner My Favorite Murder with the first recorded school shooting in 1853 a time when a mansion cost 80K. It was a bummer of a story that sounds as equally 2023 as it does from the 19th century. Prepare to be disappointed by the judicial system too. Getting Schooled: Justin is finally introduced to the Buffyverse and all it’s 'man in a rubber mantis costume' greatness. Both hosts are attracted to guitar rock star Xander. Justin is certain Wes’s name i...

Anticipatory Set: Justin shares some information on students overspreading themselves with extracurricular activities. How much is too much? Ronnie complains a lot and regrets that his school didn’t have a beekeeping or calligraphy club. Does one need a sponsor for a beekeeping club?Getting Schooled: Max Fisher has way too many extracurriculars with beekeeping among them. The teachers grooming students trope is reversed in this movie and poor Miss Cross. All the fish in the world can’t help h...

Anticipatory Set: Were narcs a real thing or just an 80s urban legend from 21 Jump Street? We find out the secret history of narcs in the United States, and Ronnie thinks there were two at his high school. Cops in high schools weren’t always school resource officers. Getting Schooled: Ronnie gets a little carried away with the synopsis on this one, but Justin doesn’t mind. There was a lot going on at this elementary school, and by “a lot” they don’t mean teaching. Tumors. TV towers witho...

Anticipatory Set: What are the ten types of problematic parents schools face? And who knew there were just ten and not two hundred? Stories are shared including a parent whose daughter battles raccoons in a crawlspace. How does one best handle these hot messes? Strategies are offered, ridiculed and refined. Getting Schooled: How many dirty pillows in one high school locker room hold? How many times can Miss Collins slap students and not get fired? How many candles can one household need?...

Anticipatory Set: With all the sweeping social changes in Florida public schools, how’d they do across the board their first semester? They got their latest report card, and it looks fantastic! Just kidding. It’s a sh*t show. Getting Schooled: This movie had it all. Copy machine fights. 80s breasts. Opposing counsel in a lawsuit roaming the halls, sometimes without clothing. More driver education vehicles. Lessons in steam heat repair. A veteran teacher dying in the classroom. Fire alarm...