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Newly-ish married couple, Amanda and Kyle, discuss Amanda’s upbringing in the IBLP cult of Duggar infamy. Through sometimes humorous, sometimes heartbreaking stories, Amanda and Kyle explore the cult’s ideology, the strange rules that surrounded Amanda’s childhood, what it takes to break free, and what gets left behind.
40 Episodes
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Send us a Text Message.Kyle teaches Amanda about the experience of growing up in public school. It all started over a dinner date conversation that resulted in running back to the Airbnb to record Amanda's questions/shock/terror about "evil public school." The IBLP cult taught that public school was immoral, so Amanda had a lot to learn about the concept of public education in general. Additionally, Amanda and Kyle answer a listener question about if they would still be in Christian church if...
Send us a Text Message.Coming to you live from the middle of a cross-country move, Amanda and Kyle answer more listener questions. They discuss the impact of cults/trauma/sexual assault/sin on health, and Amanda shares how she overcame her IBLP cult-induced beliefs that her medical struggles were punishment from God. Amanda also recommends some books written by people who left other cults. Books:UnculturedEducatedA Billion YearsSupport the Show.
Send us a Text Message.Thanks to some help from a listener, Amanda and Kyle finally tackle their long-awaited topic: Bill Gothard's teachings on sex rules in marriage! To absolutely nobody's surprise, the IBLP cult has a lot to say (ahem, dictate) about how married people go about their sexual relationship -- including days they should not have sex. Amanda and Kyle also answer a listener question about how to be authentic and true to yourself as a non-Christian with many friends and family me...
Send us a Text Message.In an angsty and emotional conversation, Amanda tells Kyle about the complexity of Mother's Day with an abusive mother. Amanda shares how the IBLP cult enabled parental abuse and what it’s like to cut ties with abusive parents. Support the Show.
Send us a Text Message.Amanda tells Kyle about Bill Gothard's teachings on adoption. It turns out adoption is considered a medical situation. It also turns out couples who can't have biological children shouldn't adopt because, according to Bill, God doesn't think they should be parents. Amanda explains the concept of "sins of the father" and how Bill taught adopted kids brought the sins of their lineage into their adoptive families. Amanda and Kyle discuss how Bill found every conceivable wa...
Send us a Text Message.Amanda and Kyle discuss what it's like to leave a cult and be that "weird" person trying to navigate the real world. Amanda shares the hurdles she faced as a weird person after leaving the IBLP cult, the process of recognizing she was different than those around her, and how she made non-cult friends. Amanda and Kyle talk through the challenges of assimilating to society after leaving a repressive environment, and Amanda shares lessons learned along the way to embracing...
Send us a Text Message.Amanda and Kyle respond to many listener questions about reaching a healthy sex life after experiencing sexual trauma in or outside a cult. They discuss different therapy modalities that helped Amanda heal, why females in the IBLP cult dissociated from their bodies, and why distance from harmful people helps the healing process. Amanda mentions Rosen therapy for somatic healing. If you are interested, you can check out the Rosen Institute’s website to learn more and see...
Send us a Text Message.Amanda tells Kyle about Bill Gothard's made up "Law of Crying Out" which - surprise, surprise - places equal blame on victims and perpetrators. Amanda grew up being taught this ideology as part of ATI's educational curriculum and bought into it for much of her life until adulthood. She tells Kyle about the different responses humans have to crisis and assault and considers that Bill used his publications to groom his next generation of victims. Together, Amanda and Kyle...
Send us a Text Message.Amanda shares some of the most embarrassing moments from her military career. Turns out growing up in the IBLP cult means there's a lot of slang and innuendo that goes right over your head. A best practice is probably not to repeat any new phrases until you Google them, but sadly that is not what happened. Amanda also tells Kyle about some of her greatest successes in the military and how growing up in a cult helped her cope with military training and other high-pressur...
Send us a Text Message.Amanda sings a cult song from her childhood. Kyle is confused. They break down the meaning of each of the Ten Unchangeables, and IBLP word salad makes a reappearance. Amanda tells Kyle more about attending The Children's Institute for some important childhood brainwashing and why Amanda was so prepared for the military. Also: it turns out some of Bill Gothard's unchangeables can be changed. Support the Show.
Send us a Text Message.Blanket training, 3x training, the abusive tactics of Michael and Debi Pearl... Amanda and Kyle take an insider look at the types of discipline encouraged and endorsed by the IBLP cult. From hiding beating implements in neighborhood culverts to memorizing routes to safety, Amanda describes a childhood at the mercy of an abusive mother and her own road to recovery as an adult. Support the Show.
Send us a Text Message.Join Amanda and Kyle as they answer more listener questions and discuss issues like taking their potential future kids to church, if religions are cults for real tho, if you can accidentally become a cult leader, why Amanda’s relatives never intervened when they learned about the sexual assault, and if forming a cult to address daylight saving time is a worthy cause. Amanda shares some exciting personal news and tells the story of how she met the people she calls Mom an...
Send us a Text Message.Amanda tells Kyle what a typical day looked like for her in the IBLP cult, complete with baking bread, caring for her younger siblings, and hiding from the police. She also talks about special circumstances, such as weekly cult gatherings and preparing to spend time around non-cult relatives and their secular influence. Support the Show.
Send us a Text Message.Welcome to another analysis of crazy IBLP cult teachings! This week, we tackle Bill Gothard's Basic and Advanced Seminar materials regarding music, what is holy, what is unholy, what will definitely deform your brain cells, and what will cause your vegetables to grow larger. Spoiler alert: most of the world is probably going to hell due to unholy taste in music. Support the Show.
Send us a Text Message.In January, we had the opportunity to sit down with special guest Maureen Maus and talk about Multi-Level Marketing – specifically the ways their tactics overlap with cults. We also discuss how MLMs tend to target women, and often women in religious environments who must work from home. Maureen teaches us how MLMs seem to adopt spiritual language, which appeals to individuals in cults, and Amanda shares how certain leaders in the IBLP cult used their position to influen...
Send us a Text Message.Amanda unpacks the phrase "eyes down" and its implications within her bio family and explains code word "Nike" from the Shiny Happy People docuseries. Join us for a trip down memory lane as Amanda describes battles against billboards and bikinis, tells Kyle about learning the word "sex" from a childhood friend, and shares the family rules for watching movies. Support the Show.
Send us a Text Message.In a special episode for the week of Valentine's Day, Amanda and Kyle discuss Wisdom Booklet 15's teachings on the importance of modesty, how to avoid eye traps that might make a man lust after you and commit adultery with you in his heart, and the medical implications of immodesty and eye traps. Amanda also shares her bio mom's insight regarding the inherent evil of lingerie--even in the context of marriage. Make sure you listen to this episode because it turns out mod...
Send us a Text Message.Kyle continues teaching Amanda about the Seven Basic Needs -- but this time we're looking at the wife. Shockingly (haha), her needs are a lot simpler and less taxing than the needs of a husband. The needs of a wife are not backed up by biblical text, but they sure are Duggar-approved! Support the Show.
Send us a Text Message.In a shocking turn of events, Kyle teaches Amanda IBLP's seven basic needs of a husband. Amanda is traumatized. Hilarity ensues.Support the Show.
Send us a Text Message.Kyle finally gets his wish as he and Amanda discuss the infamous Cabbage Patch Kid dolls and the IBLP teachings surrounding them. Amanda shares the requirements Bill Gothard made of all cult families who owned these dolls, as well as a few other popular toys. Get your burn barrels ready and prepare to cast out some demons, folks!Support the Show.
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I wonder if the discouraging of non-relative adoption has anything to do with a fear of being found out. The long invasive process of home studies, and evaluations by officials might have spooked Bill. He may have thought it wasn't worth outsider "interference" when bio babies don't have that risk/cost. He probably didn't even think of what happens to orphaned kids.