Beyond Affairs

These are wise words from an expert in infidelity.  Don't miss this special episode with guest speaker - Linda McDonald.  

Bert’s story - when your wife is unfaithful.... a lot of helpful information that applies to couples where the husband is unfaithful.

Kim had an affair with her boss and kept it a secret.  Listen to this interview and learn how Mike & Kim navigated through the most difficult of times in their relationship.  Let this couple be your inspiration...for they now have a thriving marriage post affair.

Anne interviews Ronda, who once thought she could never survive betrayal and struggled with intense anger.  Find out what steps Ronda took, the lessons she learned, and where "the turn around" happened for Ronda's marriage.

The title states it all...In this podcast Anne addresses ALL things related to betrayal trauma.  It's important to understand what this is and how this looks.  

The healing journey begins with hope. You need to know and believe you can move beyond the pain and get the life you want. It does take two. Some people think you can never get over it. That’s not true. True healing is remembering the affair (you won’t forget such a big event in your life), but no longer having pain associated with the memory.Listen to part 2 with Brian and Anne as they discuss the remaining  key elements when it comes to healing your marriage after betrayal.

The healing journey begins with hope. You need to know and believe you can move beyond the pain and get the life you want. It does take two. Some people think you can never get over it. That’s not true. True healing is remembering the affair (you won’t forget such a big event in your life), but no longer having pain associated with the memory.Listen to part 1 of 9 essential key elements when it comes to healing your marriage after betrayal. 

Brian and Anne talk about 10 strategies to help you through the holiday season.

Part 2 of Personal Style with Dr. Ken Keis! Hear from the professional who is your expert when it comes to understanding self - discovery.

Why aren't you more like me?This is not only a question we as individuals ask ourselves...but it's also a fascinating book title, written by author Dr. Ken Keis.Dr. Keis is a personal friend to Brian and Anne Bercht, and has discovered how to improve your life through self-awareness.  When you are struggling to work through your interactions with your spouse (or partner)...it's important that YOU understand how YOU tick.  The Personal Style Indicator is a very impactful assessment; Brian and Anne have found this element to be foundational in their teachings.  

There is no set rule about whether you should tell your children or not. Each couple, each situation and each family is different. I recommend that as a mother and father, both parents get as much information as they can, then come together and discuss your unique situation and the best course of action for your family. Ideally,  you both should decide and agree together on whether or not to talk to your children about the affair.What are your motives for wanting to tell your children about an affair?Be honest with yourself here. If your motive for telling is because you, the betrayed spouse, want sympathy and want your children to know what a dirt-bag their other parent is, DO NOT TELL THEM. If your motive is anything less than to improve their lives, and create more closeness with them by gifting them with truth, you should NOT tell.Listen with Anne, as she discusses this question, bringing her own unique story to life...  

Sometimes you can find healing through betrayal when you listen to the perspective of the unfaithful.  As a betrayed spouse, when we ask our unfaithful husband questions, we can't HEAR the answer.  What I mean by HEAR the answer...is that we know what they are saying, but it doesn't reach our heart.  Listen to Brian share a piece of his journey, as he explains the mind of the unfaithful.  Perhaps you will HEAR his perspective.

These are not necessarily "secrets"... Anne and Brian want to be open about what they feel having a healed marriage looks like.  Healing after betrayal is not linear...and it's intense; however, you need the effort from BOTH spouses.  If one spouse is not willing to change, then a healed marriage won't work.    Listen to Brian and Anne discuss 8 things they feel are important when working towards reconciliation.  Remember..."you are on a journey to a destination...."

Anne discusses the depth of her personal experience...and what forgiveness meant to her.  She gets it.  She has the perspective as a betrayed spouse and currently is able to live life freely without a tinge of resentment or bitterness to Brian.  We can all learn from others who have been there.  We added an extra episode on forgiveness, as we feel that this topic comes with challenges.

How do you find forgiveness?  This is a common question that seems to be the very thing every betrayed spouse wants to know.  We find that some professionals and even pastors or leaders can give advice around this topic that is NOT the most beneficial perspective.  Forgiveness might not be what you think it is; we find that forgiveness is a process...not necessarily step one.  Listen to part II with Anne (and guest speaker Jaylene) as they discuss what forgiveness looks like.

How do you find forgiveness?  This is a common question that seems to be the very thing every betrayed spouse wants to know.  We find that many professionals and even pastors or leaders can give advice around this topic that is NOT the most beneficial perspective.  Forgiveness might not be what you think it is; we find that forgiveness is a process...not necessarily step one.  Listen to Anne (and guest speaker Jaylene) as they discuss what forgiveness looks like.

Knowing how to navigate conversations with your partner in a productive fashion can be really difficult, especially in the midst of betrayal recovery.  Listen to Anne as she points out some of the most important concepts to think about before you engage in that hard discussion.  Be in a mindset that has a clear goal in mind - and remember, anger is RARELY productive, so don't let this emotion overshadow your intent!

The life Brian had built, the family Brian had raised, the friends he'd made and the church he'd been attending were all about to be damaged as a result of his actions.Brian had an affair. It was the very thing that only a few months earlier he would have held others in contempt for.“How did he end up doing the very thing he thought he never could?”Brian discusses his choices and the things that led up to him having an affair.  Listen to part two his story, as he paints the unfaithful's perspective.

The life Brian had built, the family Brian had raised, the friends he'd made and the church he'd been attending were all about to be damaged as a result of his actions.Brian had an affair. It was the very thing that only a few months earlier he would have held others in contempt for.“How did he end up doing the very thing he thought he never could?”Brian discusses his choices and the things that led up to him having an affair.  Listen to his story, as he paints the unfaithful's perspective.