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Fake Love and Flying Monkeys
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Fake Love and Flying Monkeys

Author: Nova Gibson

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 The podcast where Fake Love is exposed. Welcome to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys! Hosted by Nova Gibson, Principal Counsellor at Brighter Outlook Narcissistic Abuse Counselling, this podcast is dedicated to helping you navigate the pain and confusion of toxic relationships, and emotional abuse, especially those involving a suspected or undiagnosed narcissist.


Nova brings years of expertise as a specialist trauma-informed counsellor, guiding  survivors of narcissistic abuse to become the experts in their own trauma. In relationships where narcissists rarely, if ever, seek a diagnosis—believing there is nothing wrong with their behaviour—it’s vital for survivors to gain clarity, validation, and the tools needed to heal.


Through candid conversations, expert insights, and practical strategies, Nova and her guests unpack the manipulative tactics of emotional abuse, from gaslighting and control to triangulation and smear campaigns. Whether you’re dealing with a narcissistic partner, parent, coworker, or friend, Fake Love and Flying Monkeys empowers you to identify the patterns, set healthy boundaries, and rebuild your confidence after years of self-doubt and emotional exhaustion.


This podcast doesn’t just shine a light on the hidden dynamics of narcissistic abuse—it hands you the torch to take back your power. You’ll learn to validate your experiences, protect your mental health, and break free from the toxic cycle, even without the confirmation of a formal diagnosis.


If you’ve ever felt trapped, silenced, or unsure of how to move forward, this is your safe space. Nova’s compassionate, down-to-earth approach ensures you’re not just heard—you’re understood.


Tune in to Fake Love and Flying Monkeys and discover the tools you need to expose the fake love in your life, reclaim your worth, and step into a future of peace and empowerment. Visit www.brighteroutlookcounselling.com.au to learn more, leave a review, and grab Nova’s book, Fake Love – Understanding and Healing from Narcissistic Abuse. It’s time to rewrite your story.



96 Episodes
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5 Mind Games of Covert Narcissists Covert narcissists are masters of mind games, operating behind a mask of charm, vulnerability, or even self-pity. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I’m diving deep into five of the most insidious mind games covert narcissists play—because once you recognize them, you can take your power back. Unlike overt narcissists, who are loud and in-your-face, covert narcissists manipulate in much more subtle and sneaky ways. They gaslight, guilt-trip, ...
Love-Bombing to Discard: The Narcissist’s Playbook in all relationships Narcissistic relationships often follow a chillingly predictable pattern. At first, the narcissist sweeps their target off their feet with an overwhelming display of love/ affection/attention —a stage known as love-bombing. But just as quickly as they idolised their partner, they begin to devalue them, leading to the inevitable and devastating discard. This cycle leaves victims confused, heartbroken, and questionin...
The Narcissist's Silent Treatment: Emotional Abuse that destroys you! If you’ve ever been ignored by a narcissist, you know just how devastating the silent treatment can be. It’s not just “being ignored.” It’s psychological torture. It makes you feel invisible, worthless, and desperate for validation. It’s a passive-aggressive mind game designed to punish and control you, and it’s one of the most emotionally painful tactics narcissists use. In this episode, we’re diving deep into the ...
Narcissistic Gaslighting: The Dog Whistle Ever had that moment where a narcissist says something that seems harmless to everyone else, but you know it’s a dig meant just for you? That’s the narcissistic dog whistle in action—a sneaky, manipulative tactic designed to control, confuse, and undermine you while keeping their hands clean. In this episode, we’re diving deep into how narcissists use coded language to gaslight, intimidate, and provoke their targets—all while making sure no o...
Going No Contact with Narcissists vs Grey Rock: Which Strategy is Right for You? Narcissistic Abuse survivors often hear the advice to go No Contact or use the Grey Rock method. But which one is right for you? In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I break down both strategies, explaining when and how to use them effectively. Going No Contact means cutting the narcissist out of your life completely—no texts, no calls, no social media, nothing. It’s often the best way to heal, but ...
Narcissistic Abuse and the Red Flags you Missed. Have you ever looked back on a toxic relationship and wondered, How did I not see this coming? You're not alone. Narcissists are masters of manipulation, and their conditioning keeps you second-guessing yourself at every turn. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we’re unpacking why you missed the red flags—and why it’s not your fault. Narcissists don’t just walk into your life and show their true colours. They carefully groom you...
The Narcissistic Mother Ruins Your Adult Relationships. If you grew up with a narcissistic parent, you probably already know that childhood wasn’t exactly warm, supportive, or predictable. But what happens when you carry that experience into adulthood? How does it shape the way you connect with others, trust people, or even set boundaries? In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we’re diving deep into the long-term effects of narcissistic parenting and how it influences your relatio...
5 Reasons Narcissists NEVER Give You Closure. Have you ever been stuck waiting for the narcissist to give you the closure you need? Maybe you’ve hoped for an apology, an explanation, or even a shred of accountability—but all you’ve gotten is silence, more manipulation, or outright gaslighting. It’s exhausting, isn’t it? In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we’re diving into 5 reasons why narcissists just won’t give you closure. Spoiler alert: it’s not about you—it’s about ...
Narcissistic Abuse is "No Ordinary Love" - With Tracy Rector In this inspirational episode I speak with Tracy Rector. Tracy is an award-winning producer, speaker, author, and survivor, uses her voice to raise awareness of gender-based violence. As an international speaker, she’s shared her passion inspiring audiences in the US including Guam, Asia Pacific, and UK. USA Today recognized her film, No Ordinary Love, as one of the “biggest summer movies” of 2021. She served as board chair of the ...
Top 20 Lies Narcissists Smear you With - Part 2. In this final episode of a 2 part series I dive deeper into one of the most destructive tools in a narcissist’s arsenal: the smear campaign. Why do narcissists go to such great lengths to tarnish your reputation? What motivates them to twist the truth, spread lies, and turn others against you? From protecting their fragile ego to manipulating others into seeing you as the villain, smear campaigns are calculated and cruel—but th...
Top 20 Lies Narcissists Smear you With - Part 1. In this two part series, I examine 20 lies that narcissists spread to destroy your reputation and punish you. Narcissists are masters of manipulation, and their lies can range from subtle distortions of the truth to outright fabrications. In this 2 part series, I break down examples of the specific lies narcissists use to portray you as unstable, abusive, incompetent, or untrustworthy. I uncover how these lies are designed to not only discred...
Understanding Narcissism in Manufactured Conflict In this episode, we dive into the mind of a narcissist to uncover why they seem to thrive on conflict and chaos. Ever wondered why narcissists can turn the simplest situation into a battlefield? This behaviour isn’t random; it’s calculated, and today, we’re pulling back the curtain to understand what’s really driving their need for drama. We explore key tactics narcissists use to create conflict, such as twisting words, exaggerating situatio...
10 Behaviours of the Ageing Narcissist. As narcissists age, their tactics and behaviours often shift, sometimes becoming more manipulative and harmful. In this episode, I’ll walk you through 10 key behaviours of the ageing narcissist, offering insights into what drives these changes and how they impact those around them. You might notice that their charm no longer works as effectively as it used to, leaving them desperate for validation. Or perhaps they’re leaning even more heavily on...
How do You Set Boundaries After Narcissistic Abuse? If you’ve ever asked yourself, “How can I start setting boundaries after everything I’ve been through?” this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys is exactly what you need. Boundaries are essential for healing after narcissistic abuse, but they can feel like unfamiliar territory when you’ve spent so much time walking on eggshells or putting someone else’s needs ahead of your own. In today’s episode, we’ll break down what boundaries reall...
20 Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Tips for 2025 – Happy New Year! Welcome to a brand-new year and a fresh chapter in your healing journey! In this empowering episode I share 20 transformative tips to help you recover from narcissistic abuse in 2025. Whether you’ve just left a toxic relationship or are deep in the healing process, these practical strategies will inspire hope and give you the tools you need to thrive. From setting boundaries that stick, to breaking free from trauma bonds, I expl...
Your first Christmas No Contact with the Narcissist. In this episode we dive deep into the emotional rollercoaster of going no contact with a narcissistic family or partner for the first time during Christmas. The first Christmas of no contact can produce a myriad of emotions from sadness to anger to relief and peace. You might be feeling torn perhaps, wondering if you've made the right choice around no-contact and battling feelings of guilt. Maybe you have others (Flying Monkey...
"Wolf of Wall Street"s ex wife Dr Nadine Macaluso, shares her story. In this episode I speak with the inspirational Dr. Nadine Macaluso, known to her patients as Dr. Nae. Dr Nae is the real-life inspiration behind Naomi Belfort's character in "The Wolf of Wall Street." She survived a turbulent eight-year marriage to Jordan Belfort, marked by abuse, greed, and trauma. Following her experiences, Dr. Macaluso relocated to California. Her journey of trauma and healing inspired her to...
The Female Narcissist Abuse Strategies. In this episode I talk about the female narcissist and the toxic abuse strategies she uses. Narcissistic abuse is not gender and female narcissists (Mothers,"Friends", Colleagues and Bosses) can be just as destructive as their male counterpart. Female narcissists and male narcissists share core traits like a lack of empathy, a sense of entitlement, a need for control, and an insatiable need for attention. However, female abusers can often be harder to...
Healing From Narcissistic Abuse - The Benefits of Journaling with Amanda Stern. In this episode, I'm joined by Amanda Stern. Amanda provides amazing insights into healing from narcissistic abuse through journaling. She empowers her clients and community to embrace journaling as a path to self-discovery, self-compassion, and self-love so they can own their worth, find success on their own terms, and write their way to a life they love. We discuss how journaling helps you process those confusi...
Does the Narcissist Make You Feel Crazy Intentionally? Have you ever felt like you’re losing your mind when dealing with a narcissist? Like no matter what you say or do, somehow, you’re the one who’s “too sensitive” or “overreacting”? In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, I discuss one of the most common—and maddening—questions victims of narcissistic abuse ask: Are they doing this on purpose? Spoiler alert: yes, they are. I’ll break down the sneaky, calculated tactics narcissist...
Is it Narcissism, ADHD, or something else my Abuser has? In this episode I tackle a question many victims of abuse find themselves grappling with: "What’s driving my abuser’s behaviour?" Is it narcissism? Could it be ADHD? Or maybe it’s something else entirely? And does putting a label on it even matter when the abuse keeps happening? I talk about the differences and similarities between narcissistic traits and other conditions like ADHD, explaining how these behaviours can sometimes ...
How do you survive Christmas with a narcissist? The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, love, and togetherness, but what happens when a narcissist is part of the family? In this eye-opening episode, we dive into the chaos a narcissistic family member can bring to your Christmas celebrations. From subtle manipulations to outright control tactics, narcissists have a knack for making everything about them—and ruining the holiday spirit for everyone else. We’ll explore the common g...
How do Narcissists get to be the Victim? - DARVO DEMYSTIFIED DARVO is an insidious tactic narcissists use to flip the script and play the victim. DARVO, which stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender, is a manipulative strategy that leaves victims feeling confused, powerless, and silenced. But what exactly is DARVO, and how can you spot it in real-time? In this Episode we unpack: The tell-tale signs of DARVO in action Why narcissists rely on playing the victim ...
How do Narcissists use Triangulation to Pit People against each other? Have you ever found yourself caught in the middle of someone else's drama, unsure how you ended up there? That’s triangulation at play. Narcissists thrive on turning people against each other to maintain power, sow confusion, and deflect attention from their behaviour. Whether it’s in families, friendships, workplaces, or romantic relationships, this tactic can leave victims feeling isolated, confused, and doubting their ...
How do You Survive Post Separation Abuse? - with Sybil Cummin Leaving a narcissist should mean freedom, right? Unfortunately, for many, it’s just the start of another battle - the cruel and calculated ways narcissists try to maintain control long after the relationship ends, also known as POST SEPARATION ABUSE. In this episode I'm joined by Sybil Cummin, who provides her incredible insights and expertise around the issue of Post Separation Abuse. Sybil is a Licensed Profes...
4 Ways Covert Narcissists Destroy Your Happiness In this eye-opening episode I take you on a deep dive into the subtle yet devastating tactics covert narcissists use to chip away at your happiness. While their methods may seem less obvious than those of the overt narcissist, covert narcissists are just as destructive. They operate behind a mask of humility, kindness, or even victimhood, all while strategically eroding any joy in your life. I explore four key ways covert narcissists ma...
5 Ways to Shut Narcissists Down! Tired of constantly being pulled into arguments and mind games with a narcissist? In this must-listen episode I unpack five ways to shut down a narcissist and protect your peace. I explore the psychology behind the narcissist’s need for validation and why your refusal to play their game is the ultimate win. It’s time to stop falling into the traps of justifying, arguing, defending, and explaining (aka JADE-ing) yourself to someone who thrives on control...
Beating Narcissists in Court- The Golden Rules!- with my daughter, Courtney Barton. If you're facing a narcissist in your life, whether it's during a breakup, divorce, custody battle, or even in a work-related dispute, one thing is clear—you need a lawyer. Narcissists are experts at manipulation, twisting the truth, and using the legal system as a weapon to control or punish you. In this episode, Courtne explains why getting legal support is not just a good idea but a necessary s...
Understanding Narcissistic Future Faking In the beginning, the narcissist will sweep you away by painting a dazzling picture of your future together—talks of marriage, kids, dream holidays, or maybe that forever home. But then, as time goes on, none of it ever materialises. That’s future faking, a manipulative tactic narcissists use to hook you emotionally while avoiding any real commitment. In this episode, I explain how future faking works and why it’s such a powerful to...
15 signs of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome In this episode, I dive deep into the lesser-talked-about but incredibly important topic of NVS - Narcissistic Victim Syndrome. If you’ve ever felt like you’re walking on eggshells, questioning your own reality, or stuck in a cycle of self-blame and shame after dealing with a narcissist, this episode is for you. I unpack 15 key signs that indicate you might be experiencing Narcissistic Victim Syndrome. From chronic self-doubt and emotional exha...
5 Things Narcissists Fear the Most! In this episode I pull back the curtain on the hidden fears that narcissists don’t want you to know about. Despite their outward confidence and need for control, narcissists are often deeply afraid of specific things that threaten their carefully crafted personas. I discuss why "exposure" terrifies the narcissist. I also explore their intense fear of "being alone." Don’t miss this episode—it could change how you understand the narcissist in you...
How Do You Know If It's Narcissistic Abuse? In this episode I dive deep into one of the most challenging questions facing victims and survivors of emotional abuse: "How do you know if it’s narcissistic abuse?" Recognising narcissistic abuse can be confusing, especially when manipulative behaviours are masked by charm, seemingly innocent comments, or even grand gestures. Many survivors find themselves questioning their own reality, blaming themselves, or wondering if they’re simply "too sensi...
6 Physical Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse that destroy your Health. In this episode, I'm discussing 6 physical symptoms of narcissistic abuse and how these can truly harm your health. Narcissistic abuse doesn’t just affect your mental state; it can actually lead to serious physical ailments. From constant fatigue to digestive issues, this type of abuse manifests in ways that are often overlooked, leaving victims feeling worn out, both mentally and physically. We’ll explore each of thes...
No Contact with a Narcissist means cutting ties with their Family too. "No contact" with a narcissist includes distancing yourself from their family and friends as well. Cutting ties with a narcissistic partner, parent or friend is difficult enough, but then you have to think of those shared connections—their family members, mutual friends, and even those who may act as "flying monkeys" to gather information or sway your decisions. In this episode i unpack why it’s essential to ...
Scapegoat Child vs Golden Child: How These Toxic Family Roles Impact Adulthood. In this episode I dive deep into the family roles of the scapegoat child and the golden child—two powerful, often toxic dynamics that can shape a person’s life well into adulthood. If you grew up feeling like the "black sheep" of the family, constantly blamed or criticised, or if you were always the “favoured” one, given praise and special treatment, you may have lived these roles. I look at how these dynamics af...
I left my husband for a narcissist - this is why. In this episode, we dive into the complex story of leaving a relationship after being swept off your feet and seduced by someone who knew exactly how to exploit you. We explore how the predatory narcissist can appear as a saviour when you're vulnerable, you’re at a low point, using charm, attentiveness, and validation to pull you in. Yet behind this facade lies manipulation, gaslighting, and control. Join us as we unpack this journey, from th...
Does the Narcissist ever Miss You? Do you ever find yourself thinking, “Do they miss me?” even after all the hurt they’ve caused? It’s a question so many survivors of narcissistic abuse struggle with — and it can feel impossible to shake. In this episode, I'm diving into why you might still be thinking about them and what’s really behind that nagging question, “Do they miss me?” I’ll break down why it’s so common to have these lingering thoughts, especially after dealing with a narcis...
How do you Survive a Narcissistic Relationship? In this episode, we're unpacking some of the most complex coping mechanisms people develop when they’re stuck in a narcissistic relationship: rationalising the abuser’s behaviour, blaming themselves, and defending the narcissist. Coping mechanisms like minimizing and denial often develop as a way to survive the constant chaos. These survival techniques are incredibly common but often misunderstood, leaving many people feeling confused, st...
10 things Narcissists say and their true meaning. In this episode, "10 Things Narcissists Say vs What They Really Mean," we dive into the confusing, manipulative language narcissists often use to control and distort reality. Narcissists have a way of twisting words to make you doubt yourself, and in this episode, we break down those common phrases they use and reveal the hidden intentions behind them. You’ve likely heard things like, “You’re too sensitive,” or “I never said that,” bu...
Narcissistic Abuse: When the Narcissist Drives Recklessly In this episode, I shed light on a terrifying but often overlooked tactic that narcissists use to dominate and terrorise their victims: Reckless driving. Have you ever found yourself in the passenger seat with someone driving aggressively, not for fun but to make you feel scared or helpless? This is no accident—it’s a deliberate form of control that narcissists use to assert dominance and make you feel powerless. I unpack this dangero...
The Rise of Narcissistic Abuse on Social Media: Why It's Everywhere. In this episode, I dive into why narcissistic abuse is all over social media and what’s behind its sudden rise. From viral videos to trending hashtags, discussions about narcissists are everywhere. But what’s driving this surge in awareness? Is it just a buzzword, or is there more to it? Join us as we break down why the topic of narcissistic abuse has gained so much traction online, what it means for survivors, and how soci...
The Stalking Epidemic: How do we Protect Victims? With Chris Daw KC In this episode, I speak with Chris Daw KC who provides incredible insights and discussion around stalking behaviours, the impact to victims and the resources needed to protect victims and address future stalking behaviour. Stalking is one of the most alarming and pervasive issues affecting countless lives today. Stalking is not just about unwanted attention; it’s a serious and sometimes life-threatening behavior that leaves...
Why Does Narcissistic Abuse get worse each time you go back? In this episode, we dive into why narcissists become more abusive each time you go back. I explain how the cycle of love-bombing, gaslighting, and control escalates with every return. We’ll talk about why narcissists push boundaries even further, how emotional abuse intensifies, and why it becomes harder to break free. Narcissists thrive on control, and each time you come back, they feel like they’ve won—so they push the boundaries...
10 ways the Narcissist gets you to react! In this episode, 10 Ways Narcissists Get You to React, we dive deep into the manipulative tactics narcissists use to push your buttons and get the emotional reaction they crave. From subtle guilt trips to full-blown gaslighting, we unpack the common strategies narcissists use to provoke you, whether in romantic relationships, friendships, or even at work. You'll learn how they set up situations to make you feel off-balance, question yourself, or lash...
5 ways the Narcissist reacts when you reveal they hurt you. In this episode of Fake Love and Flying Monkeys, we dive deep into a question that so many victims of narcissistic abuse wrestle with: Should you tell the narcissist how they hurt you? While it might feel like confronting the narcissist could bring you closure, clarity, or even an apology, the reality is often far more damaging. Narcissists thrive on power, control and manipulation, and when you try to explain your feelings, t...
Is the Narcissist the same as a Cult Leader? In this episode we take a deep dive into the striking parallels between narcissists and cult leaders. Narcissists, much like cult leaders, create an environment where they exert extreme control, manipulating their victims into loyalty and compliance. We’ll explore how narcissists use charm, fear, and manipulation to isolate their targets, breaking down their sense of self-worth to gain complete control. We also discuss how narcissists slowly build...
Family Court allows Abusers to Manipulate the System - Evelyn tells us how the Family Court failed her, and her child. In this episode, we sit down with Evelyn, who shares her heartbreaking experience of how the Family Court system allowed her abuser to manipulate the legal process. Evelyn opens up about the emotional and legal struggles she faced, the lack of support, and how her abuser used the court to continue their control, culminating in her losing custody of her child. If you're...
When the Narcissist is Nice to You: Is it real? In this episode, we dive deep into why narcissists are nice to you—and it’s rarely out of genuine care. Narcissists often use selective kindness as a calculated tactic to keep you invested in the relationship, but these “nice” moments are usually just a way to manipulate and control. It’s important to remember that the percentage of nice times never compensates for the overwhelming bad times. In this episode, we break down how this incons...
10 Cruel Tactics Narcissists Use to Destroy You. In this episode, we dive into 10 cruel tactics narcissists use to destroy you and how these toxic behaviours can leave you feeling drained and powerless. From manipulation to smear campaigns, we'll break down the sneaky ways narcissists try to tear you apart. Whether you're dealing with a narcissist in a relationship, friendship, or family, this episode offers valuable insights into their damaging behaviours and how to protect yourself. Tune in...
Signs you've met a covert narcissistic female - A male Victim tells his Story. In this episode I explore the hidden traits of the covert narcissistic female. Through the powerful story of a man who describes his own toxic relationship with an undiagnosed narcissist, we uncover how women can subtly manipulate and control their partners without outwardly displaying typical narcissistic traits. Our guest bravely shares his journey, detailing the emotional manipulation, gaslighting,...
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