The Resilient Caregiver Podcast

With all of the negative, and often untrue, headlines that surround foster care and adoption, it's refreshing to read a story that uplifts and brings hope.  That's exactly what this week's podcast guest is on a mission to do. Dagmara Sitek is a children's book author, who is turning tragedy into hope and bringing encouragement and empowerment to children in foster care, and their caregivers, all over the world.  A Little More About Dagmara... Dagmara Sitek is a Canada-based mother of two, who is committed to children’s education and emotional well-being. Originally from Poland, she is married to a Taiwanese-Canadian. She wrote the Courage Tales series about foster care heroes because she realized something important – not all kids get a fair shot at life. 
 “Loris Opens Up His Heart” was inspired by the tragic story of 8-year-old Kamilek from Czestochowa, who died due to mistreatment by his stepfather. Dagmara's goal is to empower children through literature: Explore the transformative power of books in shaping young minds. 'Loris Opens Up His Heart' provides a medium through which adoptive or foster parents can empower their children, fostering a sense of self, understanding, and compassion. How To Connect With Dagmara... Pre-order Loris Opens Up His Heart Visit Dagmara's website Follow Dagmara on Instagram Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

If you're anything like us, last year was a really difficult year. We stepped out of it, into 2024, feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and fearful that the New Year would turn out just like the old year. The biggest aspect of this journey to take a hit was our mental health.  Anyone out there with us on that one?  But, it doesn't have to be this way. There are practical steps we can take as caregivers, to drastically improve, even transform, our mental health. It begins by creating a Mental Health Decree.  This past week, we hosted a 3-part workshop entitled, Overcoming Isolation & Burnout in 2024 and it was simply amazing. More than 500 caregivers from all over the world signed up and went through it. Session 2 was all about Transforming Our Mental Health in the New Year. Not only did we give practical advice, we also shared a valuable Action Sheet to help you take action and decree your value and boundaries. Game-changer!  It was such a powerful session (in fact, possibly our best live session ever!) that we decided to drop a snippet into this week's podcast. Check it out.  The great news is that you can also still register for the workshop and catch all of the replays. Details below (along with the Action Sheet Download). And, we've also opened up public enrollment for Resilient Caregiver University (also, below). Register for Overcome Isolation & Burnout in 2024 (replays available until 1/25) Download Your Mental Health Decree Action Sheet Enroll in Resilient Caregiver University Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

Happy New Year! We're kicking off the 31st season of The Resilient Caregiver Podcast and this is episode 299. We are absolutely BLOWN away that we have produced 31 seasons of this show since October, 2015! Thank you for being part of this amazing journey.  We're kicking off the brand new season with an amazing interview with our good friend Rob Scheer from Comfort Cases and author of A Forever Family: Fostering Change One Child At A Time. A Little More About Rob... Rob entered the foster care system as a child who had lost both parents. He was brought into a house with all of his belongings in a tattered and torn trash bag. As Rob and his husband Reece went through the adoption process for each their 5 children, who are now their daughter and 4 sons, they arrived on their doorstep through foster care experiencing the same undignified process Rob endured forty years ago. Floored by the fact that children still carry their lives in a bag used for trash nearly four decades since his own experience, Rob decided to devote his life to restoring dignity to those transitioning in and out of foster care with the creation of Comfort Cases. His personal dedication and success through Comfort Cases has provided hope and self worth to thousands of children as he and his team empower the next generations transitioning within foster care. How To Connect With Rob... Learn about Comfort Cases Discover more about Rob Watch Rob's TED Talk Also On The Show... Grab your spot now for the Overcoming Isolation & Burnout in 2024 workshop coming January 15, 16, & 18th exclusively online! During this free 3-part live event we'll be diving deep into your purpose, person and plan as a caregiver. Plus, we'll be sharing the proven path to building and maintaining resiliency all year long! Registration is open! Click Here.  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

2023 was a combination of fulfilling, overwhelming, sometimes defeating, but most importantly, a year of growing for us. We learned so many important things this past year.  As we bring this year to a close, we take a moment to look back and discuss the important things we learned as caregivers.  These include... The value of time and space Focusing on the need before the behavior Setting healthy boundaries with our adult children Making the most of the time we have with the people who are with us and sooo much more!  Pull up a chair and join the conversation!  Also on the show... The Safety Planning Essentials Mini-Course is available until 11:59pm PST on December 31st. The course includes lessons on building and maintaining safety plans, navigating investigations, and managing crisis. Click Here to enroll!  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)     

Once we've aligned our expectations, and leveled them to a manageable place, we need to establish boundaries with our children. This is not an easy task, especially if you're parenting children who become triggered easily. And sometimes the boundaries will be very hard to explain.  How do you do this?  In this episode of The Resilient Caregiver Podcast we dive into a conversation around boundaries, what they may need to be, how to set them and, most importantly, how to maintain them.  Also On The Show.... Check out the TRC website Browse our free resources Learn about the Resilient Caregiver University Check out other podcast episodes (and subscribe!) Book us to speak at your event Schedule coaching sessions with us Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

In the words of Ellen Griswold (from Christmas Vacation), "I know how you build things up in your mind, Sparky. You set standards that no family event can live up to."  That might not fully be the case for you, but we often do struggle with our expectations. Especially when it involves the Holidays and situations that can go south quickly with meltdowns, triggered behaviors, overstimulation, and more.  How do we navigate through this?  More importantly, how do we set expectations that don't set us, or our families, up for failure?  That's what we're diving into in this week's episode of The Resilient Caregiver Podcast.  Also On The Show... Check out the TRC website Browse our free resources Learn about the Resilient Caregiver University Check out other podcast episodes (and subscribe!) Book us to speak at your event Schedule coaching sessions with us Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

For caregivers of a multi-racial families, hair care can be stressful and overwhelming. How do you provide the best care for your daughter or know what products to use?  If you've had these questions, or felt overwhelmed and defeated by this topic, we have good news. Tony Award Nominated Acress Shalita Grant from the shows NCIS: New Orleans and You most recently, joins our show to discuss her new brand, Four Naturals Hair and provides a TON of hope and insight for caregivers just like you! About Shalita... Shalita Grant was raised in Petersburg, Virginia and attended high school at the Baltimore School for the Arts in Maryland where she was a YoungArts Winner in Theater and Presidential Scholar in the Arts. At 17, she received a scholarship to attend the Julliard School for her B.F.A. in Drama, graduating in 2010. She starred as Cassandra in "Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike" on Broadway, for which she earned a Tony Award nomination for Featured Actress in a Play and won the 2013 Theatre World Award for Outstanding Broadway Debut. Her TV credits Include, NCIS: New Orleans, Santa Clarita Diet, Search Party and You. In Shalita's words... My journey with Four Naturals started with a ponytail. As an actress with Type 4 hair, the tightest texture on the hair chart, I faced unique challenges while on NCIS New Orleans. My ever-changing ponytail concealed the damage I was chasing. I experienced traction alopecia in my second season and significant hair loss along my hairline in the third season, leading me to leave my job by the fourth season. I experienced a hard truth: No matter how much money you have or who you have access to, if you have type 4 hair, your options are limited to wigs and extensions, getting locs, or just cutting it all off. After quitting, I recognized my hair as my number one acting career problem and set out to solve it. In 2019, I began reading journals and articles from the world of Cosmetic Chemistry - absorbing everything there was to know about the three parts of the hair strand, hair porosity, cationic and anionic charge, and more. After reading, I understood that everything I was taught to do to care for my fragile, fickle type 4 hair was pure ritual! No wonder I could never solve my chronic issues with dryness and breakage.  I then researched the hair practices and ingredients used by the people of India, Eritrea, Ethiopia, and Greece and created the patent-pending Four Naturals Treatment. I combined hair science and plant medicine and solved my lifelong issues with dryness, breakage, lack of curl definition, lack of established hair routine, and heat damage.  The first treatment, I couldn’t quite believe my results - my hair felt softer, the color was richer, and it appeared thicker, and my hair felt heavier! However, by my third treatment, my hair was undeniably different. I had the best hair of my life! It was so easy to maintain, unbelievably soft and strong, and I could flat iron it without the heat damage requiring a Big Chop. So, I created Four Naturals Hair, and my mission is to make the lives of people with Type 4 hair better, easier, and more consistent. Best of all, because my treatment addresses the hair health concerns of people whose needs have been ignored for generations, it solves everyone else’s health concerns. I see the Four Naturals Treatment as the beginning of a hair revolution. How To Connect With Shalita... Visit the Four Naturals website Follow Four Naturals Hair on Instagram Visit the Four Naturals YouTube channel Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

Diversity is a central aspect of the foster and adoption journey. But often, it's overlooked or taken for granted. That's precisely why we have crucial guests like our good friend Maria Hansen-Quine.  She's a wealth of knowledge and expertise, particularly when it comes to the celebration of diversity in foster care and adoption.  A Little More About Maria... Maria passionately believes in the value of children. So much so that she has devoted the past 22 years to working with children, currently working as a school counselor in a beautiful inner city community.   Maria has worked in three different states, six different schools, two group homes, an outpatient therapy children's programs, a homeless shelters, and has provided court mandated therapeutic in home support to families.  Maria’s passion for kids was birthed during college, when she spent two summers running day camps in Camden New Jersey. Maria’s early beginning stories begun in a little country called the Faroe Islands. Here Maria spent the first eleven years of her life, immigrating to Canada as a non-English speaker. Later as an adult, Maria immigrated to the United States.  Maria calls herself a precious jewels mamma, as she believes children are sacred gifts from God.  Maria and her husband Sam have ten beautiful and diverse precious jewels, seven through adoption, two born biologically, and one bonus adult daughter (and son in law).  Sam is an adult adoptee. Also On The Show... Our new booking page is live! If you are an event coordinator or leader and looking for your next keynote or breakout speaker, send us a request. Our 2024 calendar is filling up fast. Click Here! Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)   

We're excited to welcome Marna Pacheco from CapeAble Weighted Products to The Resilient Caregiver Podcast to discuss how weighted products (blankets, vests, wraps, etc) can help your children who have sensory needs. Through their patented Smart Weight Technology, CapeAble Weighted Products is changing the game in the weighted products field. And good news...the products she shares are NOT just for children. Adults can benefit too! (Just ask Kristin...😉). Check out the CapeAble Weighted Product store here.  Also on the show... Don't miss The 5-Day Resiliency Challenge AND The 7-Day Consistency Challenge happening NOW. You can catch the replays of The 5-Day Challenge and go through the Consistency Challenge through November 11th. Click Here to gain access!  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)   

It leaves us baffled. We're having a good day, doing something they wanted to do, and suddenly they reject us, respond negatively, or become defensive. We could simply ask our child a question and the claws come out. It leaves us confused, defeated, and bewildered.  And we often don't see it coming. How do we make sense of the metldowns, outbursts, and push-backs?  In this episode we discuss our child's defense system, what causes them, and how to make sense of what we're seeing.  Also On The Show.... Don't Miss The 5-Day Resiliency Challenge, happening right now. You haven't missed anything though. You can catch all of the replays. During The Challenge, we are sharing practical steps to building and maintaining resiliency as a caregiver. It's free to join. Click Here to register.   Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

You may be thinking, "Wait, they're talking about the holidays already?" That's right!  We're entering the season known as the holiday vortex- From Halloween through New Years it's a season of overstimulation, grief-magnified, and loss-intensified for our children.  How in the world can we nagivate this season and live to tell about it? If you're a caregiver who's wondering this, we have good news. Deborah Gray joins the podcast for an amazing throwback episode all about helping our children through the holiday season (Halloween through New Years!).  A little more about Deborah... Referred to as the “attachment guru” by Adoptive Families Magazine, Deborah Gray specializes in attachment, grief, and trauma issues of children in her practice, Nurturing Attachments. As a clinical social worker, Deborah has the honor of helping families develop close, satisfying relationships after children’s earlier losses, traumas, and/or prenatal exposure to drugs and alcohol. In addition to her therapy practice, Deborah is the creator of the post-graduate certificate program, Attachment & Trauma Focused Therapy (ATFT). She holds an MPA in Public Administration (Health Care), from the Maxwell School/Syracuse University.  Deborah is the author of Promoting Healthy Attachments; Attaching through Love, Hugs, and Play; Nurturing Adoptions; and Attaching in Adoption. She co-authored, with Megan Clarke, Games and Activities for Attaching with Your Child. In 2015 Deborah was awarded a Lifetime Achievement Award from the International Association for Training on Attachment and Trauma in Children. Also on the show... Get our FREE Holiday Survival Guide.... a collection of interviews with trauma-trained therapists that will give you valuable insights into navigating the holidays! Click Here to get access.  BIG annoucement coming this Monday, October 16th. But you need to be on our email list to get the firsthand info. Click Here to visit our homepage and get on the list!  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

Most caregivers step into the parenting journey with dreams, ideals, and a certain vision of how parenting is going to unfold. We have dreams of what our children will be like when they grow older. We envision positive, warm relationships, that are worthy of a Hallmark Movie. Sounds ridiculous, right? But that's what we do. That can set us and our children up for failure.  In this episode we discuss re-adjusting your expectations to help you and your children achieve success.  In this episode we talk about... Re-adjusting your expectations. Trauma doesn't play by the rules. What happened yesterday is not what will happen today! No longer trying to achieve perfection (newsflash- it's NOT possible!)  Feeling successful when we accomplish 1 or 2 things that are important Lowering expectations so not to set our children up for failure How we can re-adjust expectations successfully Also on the show.... We are getting REAL close to launching Resilient Caregiver University! Click Here to learn more and send us some important feedback!  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

For a lot of caregivers, hands-on parenting won't end when their child graduates from high school. We'll be involved in some what, shape, or form with our children as they move into adulthood. But that doesn't mean that our lives, or their lives, will be restricted. Quite the opposite. Resiliency as you continue to parent into adulthood IS possible. In this episode, we welcome Sue Badeau, who knows a thing or two about building resiliency long Into parenting adult children. She and her husband Hector are currently involved in several of their adult children's lives.  A Little More About Sue... Whether delivering a training herself, or developing a curriculum for others, Sue has one goal in mind: providing memorable, effective, educational workshops that inspire and motivate action. After participating in Sue's training sessions, attendees report understanding new ways to apply complex information. "I see myself as a translator," Sue explains, "Presenting challenging material in ways that professionals, parents and caregivers can implement in their daily lives and practice."   How To Connect With Sue... Contact her via email Purchase her book Follow her on Facebook Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

Being a dad on the foster and adoptive caregiver journey is no easy task. Resiliency, let alone our sanity, seems like climbing Mt. Everest without oxygen. But, it doesn't need to be this way. There is hope. In this episode Mike has an open conversation with two dads about how to build resiliency!  We talk about vulnerability, the importance of community and connection, a little bit about what happens at Road Trip (our unique experience in the mountains of Colorado for foster and adoptive dads) and so much more.  Also On The Show... Road Trip! We have 6 spots left. Dads, if you need a getaway, join us in LESS THAN 2 WEEKS for Road Trip 2023. Click Here.  Hope Conference 2023. Join us this fall in Des Moines, Iowa for a powerful, refreshing, and hope-filled weekend for foster and adoptive parents. Click Here to learn more.  Resilient Caregiver Resource Page Resilient Caregiver Podcast Resilient Caregiver Homepage Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

In the heat of the moment, when your child is melting down, you're on display, or you're just overwhelmed and exhausted, the question that is likely running through your head is "What's wrong with this child?"  But, it's the wrong question to ask. It's okay if you've asked this before. We all have. Don't beat yourself up. It happens to all of us. You're not alone.  In this episode we discuss this and what the RIGHT question actually is. And the right question has the power to change EVERYTHING- your response, your attachment to your child, the level of trust you have with them, and even your resiliency as a caregiver!   Also on the show... Visit the NEW Resilient Caregiver website here.  Road Trip 2023 is almost here and we have a few spots left. If you're a dad in need of a getaway to the mountains, don't miss this amazing and transformational event. Click Here.  Join us for Hope 2023 this November! Hope Conference takes place just outside of Des Moine, Iowa and is a can't miss event for foster and adoptive parents. We will be there leading 3 different breakout sessions on understanding and leveraging your influence with your children, effectively responding to behaviors, and building healthy attachments with your children. Click Here to grab your spot.  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

Welcome to The Resilient Caregiver Podcast. We are sooooo excited to unveil the new name, new approach, new conversations, and (each week) new insights.  This week, the two of us are talking through the heartbeat behind The Resilient Caregiver (our parentn company's name) and some insights into how to achieve resiliency.  In this episode, we discuss.... Understanding, and how gaining a new perspective on your child can change everything!  Education, and why we can never ever ever stop growing as caregivers.  Support, and why this is the glue that holds it all together.   Also on the show.... The NEW Resilient Caregiver website!  Thanks for stopping by this week ;-) 

We've blown the lid clean off on a BIG secret we've been keeping for the past 8 months!  On August 30th, our brand new initiative (and name), The Resilient Caregiver, will go live to the world. We're making this change for one big reason: We are passionate about and intensely focused on helping you, amazing caregiver, build resiliency through a deeper understanding of your child, in-depth and relevant education, and an insanely dedicated and understanding support community that helps you thrive!  We're diving into all the amazing details of the new site in this final episode of The Honestly Adoption Podcast (don't worry, only the name is changing!)... On The Show... Visit The Resilient Caregiver Preview Page Download the presentation slides! Download The Resiliency Success Path Thanks for stopping by this week! 

In this episode, Mike shares some encouragement for foster and adoptive caregivers. Along with that, he also shares an exciting annoucement that you won't want to miss.  Here are important links mentioned in this episode... Honestly Adoption's website (to get on our email list to you're in the loop on the BIG announcement)  Lady GaGa's song Hold My Hand Thanks for stopping by this week :-) 

In 2016, sensing an urgency to create safe space where foster and adoptive dads could connect with one another, Mike Berry, Andrew Schneidler and Jason Morriss, created Road Trip: A Mountaintop Experience for Foster and Adoptive Dads. They had one goal: create safe space where men could be open, honest, and vulnerable in without fear of judgement or criticism. To date, more than 600 men have journeyed up the mountain. In this latest episode, they share openly what Road Trip is, why it’s so transformational in men’s lives, and how dads can find connection and camaraderie. A Little More About Road Trip... Let's begin with what Road Trip is NOT. It's NOT a retreat, NOT a conference, and NOT a church men's retreat. It's a conversation. Weird, right? What does that even mean? At Road Trip we're all about invitation. Simply put...you attend a retreat, but you're invited into a conversation. And the best part? You can choose to participate, or just listen. In any case, Road Trip is safe space for foster and adoptive dads to share their greatest fears and greatest struggles, without judgement.   In the midst of this conversation, you also get a chance to getaway and participate in fly fishing, hiking, exploring, napping (if you need it), micro-brewery trips, horseback riding, and much much more! Heads up, we only have a few more spots left for 2023... Click Here To Learn More Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)

One of the strongest emotions we'll experience on this journey is grief. How do you work through this so you better help your child?  It's not easy. In fact, grief itself, is a journey. We experience this because this journey is hard, and we have lost a lot. So have our children. And helping them heal is a priority. But in order to better help our children heal and process their own grief, we must learn to process ours and arrive to a place of healing.  Fortunately, we have amazing partners and leaders like Jessica Sinarski, LPCMH. A Little More About Jessica... Jessica's superpower is making brain science accessible and entertaining for children and adults alike. Extensive post-graduate training and 15+ years as a therapist, consultant, and educator led her to create the resource and training platform—BraveBrains. In addition to speaking engagements all over the country, Jessica partners with schools, child welfare agencies, and other organizations to help adults become healers for hurting children. She is also the mom of 3 busy boys. How To Connect With Jessica... Order a copy of Riley The Brave's Big Feelings Activity Book Check out Jessica's Safe To Feel Sad blog post Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)