The Sandbox with Diane and Rebekka

Join Diane and Rebekka for a special video episode. We discuss the origins of Mindful Parenting Groups, how we met, and the three pillars of mindful relating: observe mindfully, reflect kindly, and respond flexibly. How do these pillars look in a parent-child relationship? How can we use them to deepen and strengthen our connections with others? Tune in to find out!  

It's been a year - baby Poppy is now 1 year old, and although the aftershocks of her birth have spread far apart, this big birthday spells a profound aftershock of grief for big sister Molly. The sisters are finding each other and becoming friends, and Rebekka is holding space for everyone's big, mixed-up feelings, including her own! We consider how to elevate ourselves along the lifespan experience of being a sibling, in the roles we play in family life, and throughout each family's unique developmental journey. How can we all get into a cooperative relationship with reality as family life changes?

As Jon Kabat-Zinn cribbed from Zorba the Greek, family life is the "full catastrophe." Newly mobile baby Poppy is struggling to organize herself and find her place in the family and the world, and it's taking a toll on everyone - mommy, daddy, and big sister alike. Tune in for mindful tips on dealing with biting, "poo-poo butt!", and and "Mommy, little sister is touching me!"

Rebekka's family is still adjusting to the not so recent arrival of its newest member, who is now 9 months old. Rebekka has reclaimed the role of "mommy" in the eyes of her oldest child: some ruptures have been repaired! In spite of the speed bumps in this family's development (and growing sibling conflict), big sister Molly is showing something very important: when most of her "input" needs are met (good food, stimulating play, loving relationships), the "output" is love.

Now that Rebekka's 7-month-old baby has become more of a person in her own right, everyone wants to compare her to her big sister. Which one is happier? Fussier? A "better" child? On top of this, drama persists between Rebekka and her older child, who often tells her to "GO AWAY!" When family life is like juggling chainsaws, sometimes the best (and only) thing we can do is share how hard it is with a trusted confidante.

Rebekka's baby is now 6 months old and both kids have been doing "the developmental tango:" the messy journey of progress and regression that encapsulates our path to maturity. Tune in to hear how this dance has been looking for this new-ish family of four, and learn about how regression and growth go hand in hand for young children. 

The baby is now 4 months old. The initial earthquake of her birth was quite an ordeal, and the aftershocks are coming farther and farther apart. Join Diane and Rebekka for this brief check-in on how things are settling down, and a look ahead at the shocks that are still to come for Rebekka's family of four!

It's been 7 weeks and the baby hasn't gone away. How is 4 year old big sister coping? Dynamics of control and cooperation loom large in this month's installment of Sibling Reveries, a yearlong accompaniment to the journey of becoming a family of four. Join Rebekka and Diane as they explore how 3-7 year olds begin to cultivate a cooperative relationship with reality - and bedtime! - and how their caregiving leadership team can help them. Listen in for some mindful offerings on navigating the power and control dynamics older siblings of newborns tend to show us. Play with our ideas at home and see what works in your family, whether it's a family of two, three, four, five, or more!

When you already have one kid, somehow the math of adding another one doesn't make sense. Family life becomes exponentially more complex, as do the emotions that accompany it. Join Diane and Rebekka for the first in a series of brutally honest boots-on-the-ground conversations about navigating this change - introducing our first special guest, Rebekka's baby girl Poppy at not quite one month old. 

As anyone with young children will know, sleep is a precious commodity! Join Diane and Rebekka as they think about how to help families embark on the group project that is healthy sleep. This conversation offers a thoughtful understanding of human sleep/wake cycles, sleep associations, and mindful ways to support children in sleeping "in their own beds all night long until the sun comes up." If this sounds like a welcome change of affairs for you, then tune in!

Come on down to Burger Mom, the friendliest restaurant in town, where Diane and Rebekka are serving up delicious helpings of wisdom and wonderings about how to navigate feeding and eating in family life, while also bringing joy and connection back to the family table! Join us as we discuss picky eating, healthy choices, and how to avoid being a short-order cook at mealtime.

What is a toy, anyway? How can we use objects to deepen relationships and spark the imagination?  Give a listen for playful ideas to bring into your family life on this episode of The Sandbox with Diane and Rebekka. Big shout out to Antoinette Portis's Not a Box and Not a Stick!

All that talk about singing in the last episode got Rebekka thinking about even more ways for parents and children to engage meaningfully through music. Tune in for zipper songs, lullabies as a barometer and tool for parental self-regulation, rhyming games, and more!

In late summer 2019, one of Rebekka's oldest friends, digital humanities professor Jo Guldi, posted a news article on her Facebook page drawing attention to the ongoing human rights quagmire at the border. Rebekka commented, "I feel sickened by what our country is doing, and sickened further by my sense of utter helplessness to stop it. I've given money to organizations that are strong in this fight, and will give more. I am desperate to do more myself, as an American, a mother, a Jew, and a human being. But what?" This led to a fruitful back and forth about ways we can take concrete action, culminating in a challenge for the Sandbox: "I would go *bonkers* for an episode that talked about what it's like to parent in a time when other children's lives are being treated with negligible concern for them as human beings. It would be a prelude to thinking clearly and talking about so many other concerns I have as a parent -- raising a child in a time of climate change, at a time when the basic values of democracy that I took for granted growing up seem under assault." Jo turned our entire thread into a powerful op-ed piece, "Parenting in an Age of Violence," which you can read here or at https://tinyurl.com/jguldi  Jo, challenge accepted. Here's our first conversation about how, through our parenting, we can work to create a better society for everyone.

What is the truth about motherhood? Recorded live at Rebekka's kitchen table, this special episode peels back the curtain on family life to capture the extraordinary in the ordinary. Join Diane and Rebekka for a thoughtful investigation of how complex parent-child relationships can be, including mindful offerings about ways of relating more intentionally to both our parents and children.

Family life is full of difficult moments: transitions, non-preferred activities, bumps, bruises, and outright pain. Although we can't take those away, we can make them smoother and less painful by using songs, play, and silliness whenever possible. Find your voice - and your "hip pocket" song - and bring a little music into your family! With special shout outs to: -Music Together  -They Might Be Giants -Trout Fishing in America -Zosia Boczanowski 

Fun fact: Diane and Rebekka share the same birthday! That explains a lot. Join us for a free-wheeling discussion of all things birthday: what do we really need and want on ours? What about little kids? And what about the original birthday, the one where someone actually gets born? On this very special episode of The Sandbox, we consider expectations, overwhelm, the agony, and the ecstasy that make up the birthday experience. 

Whether young or old, no one is a stranger to tantrums. A constant source of frustration and consternation for parents, tantrums can actually be fairly predictable and--if you're engaging in good self care--straightforward to navigate.  Here's the acronym from the show - remember, tantrums are MUCH more likely to emerge in a child or adult when that person is: Hungry Angry Lonely Tired Sick Growing, or going through a Transition Anyone who can update the original HALT acronym to include Rebekka's added S, G, and T gets the first ever Sandbox tote bag! Links to resources mentioned in this episode: Diane's simplified Child Centered Activity protocol (adapted from Gloria De Gangi's original work)  Circle of Security International's fantastic handout on secure attachment, including the motto:  Always be stronger, wiser, & kind Whenever possible, follow my child's lead Whenever necessary, take charge

Out of sheer desperation, Rebekka relied on her love of improv to respond flexibly and playfully to her 3 year old's breakfast table tantrum, leading to the development of...Tantrum Theater! Big shout out to Keren Guderman of Improv Parenting, who reminds us that "Anything can be a puppet!"

What if we told you there was a simple way you could connect deeply with your child that would help decrease their irritability and increase their attention span, that it was free, and would take less than 30 minutes a day?  You're in luck. Sandbox listeners, meet the Child Centered Activity. Download a handout on how to do this at home here. Big shout-out to the Acorn Store in Santa Monica!