LOVE IS FEARLESS

Guest: Dr. Lee Warren, Board-Certified Neurosurgeon Introduction: What if you could change your brain by changing your mind? Board-certified neurosurgeon Dr. Lee Warren joins us to reveal something revolutionary: you're not stuck with the brain you have. Through groundbreaking neuroscience research, we now know that what you repeatedly think about literally restructures your brain. For parents learning to live from agency instead of control, understanding what's actually happening in your nervous system changes everything. Dr. Warren's new book, The Life-Changing Art of Self-Brain Surgery: Connecting Neuroscience and Faith to Radically Transform Your Life, releases February 3, 2026. You're in the right place if: You wonder why you keep defaulting to control, even when you want to parent from peace It feels impossible to break old patterns even though you know the truth Your child struggles with thoughts like "I'm stupid," "I'll never learn," or "everyone else can do this but me." You avoid letting your kids struggle because you want to protect them from pain You want to understand the neuroscience behind why fear-based parenting creates control operating systems in your children You're ready to break generational patterns of fear and shame in your family Episode Highlights: Mind vs. Brain - The Revolutionary Truth Traditional neuroscience has taught that your brain generates everything about you—your personality, memories, even your sense of having a mind. But here's the problem: there's no actual science proving this is true. It's just a theory. Through functional MRI imaging developed around 2000, we can now see what really happens: your mind directs your brain, not the other way around. Your brain is like your kidneys or heart—an organ that carries out the interaction of your mind with the world. This changes everything. The Neuroscience of Fear vs. Gratitude When you're afraid, your amygdala (a walnut-sized area in your limbic system) triggers fight-or-flight responses. It's tiny and can't think well—it can only react. But your hippocampus acts like a one-way switch: it either triggers your amygdala OR your frontal lobes (billions of neurons designed for rational thinking). The deciding factor? Fear or gratitude. You literally cannot be grateful and anxious at the same time. This is exactly what Paul described in Philippians 4:6-8 two thousand years ago: "Don't be anxious, be grateful instead...think about what's noble, true, lovely..." Paul was 2,000 years ahead of neuroscience. The Auburn University Discovery Dr. Warren shares the pivotal moment at Auburn University's MRI Research Center when he and his wife Lisa watched a patient's brain respond to different thoughts in real-time. When thinking about the worst day of her life, her amygdala lit up, blood pressure rose, heart rate increased. When thinking about her happiest memory, frontal lobes activated, peace indicators appeared, blood pressure and heart rate dropped. That's when God spoke to Dr. Warren: "When you do surgery, you intentionally make a structural change in someone's brain to improve their life. When someone changes from harmful thoughts to helpful thoughts, they're also intentionally making structural changes in their brain to improve their life. That's surgery too—self-brain surgery." The Power of Anti-Fragility We've been taught that humans are fragile—easily broken and needing protection. But Scripture, neuroscience, psychology, and social science all agree: we're actually anti-fragile. You can't be as strong as you're capable of being without being broken a few times along the way. Romans 5:3-5 explains the process: suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope. Your mid-anterior cingulate (the part of your brain that handles willpower and resilience) literally gets stronger when you do hard things you don't want to do. George's Story - From Dyslexia to Fearless Dr. Warren's 7-year-old grandson George couldn't read despite being brilliant at everything else. He was diagnosed with dyslexia and worked with a tutor for 8 months, making up 3 grade years in reading. When George called his grandfather and said, "Pop, I'm a reader!" everyone wept. But here's the lesson: George is now fearless at age 10 because he faced the hardest thing in his life—not being able to read—and overcame it. If his parents had blamed the school or lowered standards, George would still be afraid of things he doesn't know how to manage. Instead, he knows nothing in his entire life will be as hard as learning to read, and he did it anyway. Mary's Story - From "I'm Stupid" to Syracuse Graduate Janet shares about 10-year-old Mary who had every learning label and refused to pick up a pencil or book. When learning to type, every mistake beep triggered outrage: "I'm stupid, I'll never learn, you hate me." After 3 days, Janet transcribed Mary's words on a whiteboard and asked, "Can we call this list 'lies'?" They created a truth list: next to "I'm stupid" was "I'm capable," next to "you hate me" was "you believe in me." Mary's new instruction: every time she heard the beep, name the truth. Beep. Truth. Beep. Truth. Struggle, truth. In 3 weeks, Mary typed 35 words per minute with 98% accuracy. She recently graduated from Syracuse University on a creative writing scholarship. The Critical Lesson for Parents Don't just let your kids suffer—teach them to struggle well in truth. Many of us developed unhealthy willpower and over-functioned in dysfunctional environments out of fear, not agency. When you teach children that everything they think isn't true and that even when something is true, there's more to the truth God wants them to see, you're giving them the tools for transformation. Come alongside them. Show them how to confess their story to God, ask Him what's true, then walk in that truth. The Three Sources of Thoughts Not every thought you think comes from you. Thoughts come from three sources: (1) your brain's automated patterns, (2) yourself and the Holy Spirit, or (3) the enemy. Learning to discern which source is speaking—and training your children to do the same—is essential for self-brain surgery. Key Takeaways: Start practicing self-brain surgery today. When you're triggered or afraid, confess your actual story to God. Ask Him what's true. Walk in that truth. Let your kids see you do this. Do one hard thing you don't want to do. Your mid-anterior cingulate cortex gets the signal that you're the kind of person who can do hard things, making all future hard things easier. This works for your kids too. Let your children suffer when it's safe to do so. Don't protect them from scraped knees, failed tests, or rejected friendship notes. Their brains are built for this. The Bible promises it. Your child needs evidence that they can survive hard things before they face the next hard thing. Teach the "two truths" practice. When your child says "I'm stupid" or "I'll never learn," acknowledge their feeling ("Yes, this is hard right now") AND teach them to name the truth ("AND you're capable, AND you're learning, AND struggle doesn't define you"). Focus on what you're grateful for, not what scares you. Your hippocampus is a one-way switch—it either activates your fear response or your thinking brain, but not both. Practice gratitude to literally change your brain chemistry and model this for your children. Remember: the generational chaos ends now. God has declared it, and He's made your mind and brain to promise it's true. You can't give what you haven't received, so do this work for your sake AND your children's sake. Closing Thought: "Let your adversity make you more like Christ. It will make you more of who you're supposed to be. The more we stop thinking 'I want to live my own truth and follow my own way' and instead follow His way, the closer we get to Him, the better we use our brains, the better we use our hearts, the more alive we become, the more free we become." - Dr. Lee Warren     Resources: Dr. Lee Warren's new book: The Life-Changing Art of Self-Brain Surgery: Connecting Neuroscience and Faith to Radically Transform Your Life (Available everywhere books are sold, including an audio version read by Dr. Warren) Website: DrLeeWarren.com (for books, podcast, YouTube, Instagram, and the School of Self-Brain Surgery) Dr. Lee Warren's podcast  Connect with Love Is Fearless: Email: janet@john15academy.com Contact information for Formation Cohorts and family consulting. Website: John15Academy.com Together, there is great hope.  

Introduction: In all of history, there are only two ways to govern: by words or by force. As America celebrates its 250th birthday this year, we're asking: How will we govern our homes? Force demands compliance. Words invite relationship. And the operating system our children learn at home is the operating system they'll carry into the world. Today we're exploring how conversations—not arbitrary consequences—build the kind of trust that makes freedom and agency possible. You're in the right place if: Your child is old enough for tough topics (bullying, sexual identity, pornography, peer pressure), but most of your conversations are functional, not deep You avoid hard conversations because you're afraid they'll end in disconnection or blow up You're governing by force ("because I said so" and consequences) when you really want to govern by words, trust, and relationship—but don't know how to make that shift You grew up where conversations weren't safe and want to break that pattern for your kids Episode Highlights: Discover the critical difference between governing by force versus governing by words, and why it matters for your child's development of agency. Learn why "conversations build convictions, relationships build trust, and without trust there is no consent—without consent, there is no freedom."  We share practical examples of holding boundaries through relationship rather than force, how to approach hard topics like sexual identity and pornography, and the transformative practice of "My Story/God Story" prayer that models honest conversation with God. Plus, hear why letting your kids observe YOU having difficult conversations with other adults might be one of the most powerful teaching tools you have. Key Takeaways: Have ONE conversation you've been avoiding - with your spouse, child, God, or wise friend. Practice connection instead of control. Model a safe, difficult conversation in front of your children - let them observe healthy disagreement in a secure relationship. Start a simple conversation rhythm - dinner table question, car ride check-in, or bedtime pause. Pick ONE and do it consistently. Practice My Story/God Story prayer - when triggered this week, pause and tell God your actual story, ask Him what's true, then walk in that truth. Remember: Civic values are born at home. The art of conversation can be recovered—one family at a time, one conversation at a time. Want to practice these conversations in community? Email us about Formation Cohorts and family consulting options. Together, there is great hope.

What if the biggest risk isn't failing—but never discovering who God created you to be? In this episode, we revisit the letter B in the Love Is Fearless alphabet with fresh eyes. Back in Season 5 (Episode #128), we introduced the idea that Beautiful offers safety, healing, and regard—while Functional is just about getting things done. But now we're going deeper. Beautiful isn't about being magazine-worthy. It's about being true. Beautiful is "the most true thing"—what reflects who God created you to be, what reminds you of your Source, what feeds your soul. Functional is what we reach for in survival or striving mode—convenient, efficient, just trying to get through the day. And here's the key discovery: Beautiful is always functional, but functional is not always beautiful. In This Episode: The difference between self-sourcing (relying on ourselves and our best ideas) and God-sourcing (discerning with God and others) How the Three Instruments—Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life—help us curate a life of transformation instead of conformity Why "curate" is the perfect word for this journey (hint: it means more than just choosing carefully) The personal story of building hamster wheels and learning what it means to participate with God instead of just presenting Him with our plans A fresh take on Romans 12:2: What if it's not about "don't be bad" but about refusing to settle for insecure attachments? Jamie Winship's insight: "What kills creativity in people is fear. You can't operate on the creative part of your brain if the reptilian part is all about self-protection and self-promotion." Three Practical Takeaways: Notice what's functional versus beautiful in your daily life - Are your surroundings reminding you that you're loved and worthy, or just that you need to be efficient? Ask yourself: "Am I self-sourcing or God-sourcing?" - When making plans, pause and ask: Am I relying on just myself, or am I listening to God and others? Let God love you first with beauty - Go somewhere beautiful this week, or create beauty in your home—not for Instagram, but for your soul. Resources Mentioned: Episode #128: B is for Beautiful (Season 5)  Episode #127: A is for Affections (Season 5) Episode #167: A is for Affections, Not Addictions (Season 7) Jamie and Donna Winship  John 15 Academy Subscribe to The Curated Life newsletter for weekly encouragement delivered to your inbox.  You can be busy with lots of "good" work and never experience the flow of standing in your God-given identity. Beautiful isn't about being impressive or perfect. It's about being true. Together, there is great hope.

What if renewing your mind isn't just spiritual advice—it's actual brain training? In this episode, we explore how attention shapes affection, and how the difference between affections and addictions determines whether your family is being transformed or simply managed into conforming to the patterns of this world. We're introducing Dr. Lee Warren's groundbreaking work on faith and neuroscience (stay tuned for our full interview with him next month), and discovering how Philippians 4:8 is God's prescription for mental health—not toxic positivity, but actual neural formation. This changes everything about how we understand transformation in families. This is the second episode in our Season 7 alphabet series: A is for Affections, Not Addictions. Today we're learning to curate a life that builds affections instead of addictions—and discovering that most families are stuck in a perform/binge cycle that creates neither security nor transformation. In This Episode, You'll Discover: Why Philippians 4:8 is brain training, not just moral advice—and how attention literally rewires your nervous system The core distinction: "Affections form you through love. Addictions manage you through substitutes for love." How affections grow in families where needs are welcomed and met through relationship—and how addictions grow where needs are managed in isolation Why addictions aren't moral failures or lack of willpower—they're brilliant survival strategies that come at a cost What it actually looks like to live life together without an agenda (and why this is easier than it sounds) How trauma bonds form even in "good Christian families" through performance-based relating Dr. Lee Warren's powerful framework: "You cannot control every thought that enters your mind, but you can choose which ones you rehearse and build a home for." Three practical steps to shift from addictions to affections this week Quotable Moments "Attention is not passive. What we give our attention to is actively shaping our brains. Attention drives neuroplasticity."   "The atmosphere matters more than the activity. In a transformational home, no one is keeping score. No one is earning approval. Everyone contributes from identity, not from fear." "When you're together in that relaxed, no-pressure environment, your child will often let you meet their needs. They'll ask questions. They'll share what's going on in their heart—because they feel safe." "What you attend to becomes what you believe. What you believe becomes how you interpret reality. And how you interpret reality shapes your nervous system and your relationships." Three Takeaways 1. Notice what you're giving your attention to. This week, pay attention to what you're rehearsing in your mind. Because what you rehearse becomes what you believe. What you believe shapes how you interpret reality. And how you interpret reality shapes your nervous system and your relationships. Ask yourself: What thoughts am I building a home for? What am I giving my attention to during the day? Is it life-giving or life-draining? Is it transforming me or conforming me? Just notice. Don't judge yourself. Just see it clearly. Awareness is the first step. 2. Choose one activity to do together without an agenda. This week, choose one activity and do it without an agenda. No pressure. No performance. No goal except to be present. Maybe it's cooking a meal together, going for a walk, working on something in the garage, reading aloud, or playing a board game. The point isn't what you do—it's that you're together, and no one has to earn approval or manage anyone else's emotions. Notice what happens when you're just together. This is where affections are built. 3. Ask yourself: "What am I bonding with?" This is the question we asked in Episode #127, and it's one we need to keep coming back to. What are you bonding with? What's influencing you? What are you forming affections with? Are you bonding with habits, ideas, routines, and people who are life-giving—or demanding? Because what you bond with shapes you. So choose wisely. Transformation happens when we intentionally curate a life that forms affections rather than feeds addictions. Resources Mentioned Episode #127: "A is for Affections" (our first exploration of this topic) Dr. Lee Warren's work on faith and neuroscience (full interview coming next month!) Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Connect With Us Website: John15Academy.com Email: janet@john15academy.com | doug@john15academy.com Support Our Work This podcast is made possible by listeners like you. We're a donor-supported ministry, and we'd love to have you join our team. Learn more about supporting this work and access additional resources at john15academy.com/give. About This Season Season Seven: Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family is a journey through the LIF (Love Is Fearless) alphabet—a guide to creating homes where a hard life is experienced differently, in secure relationships. Each episode explores the theology, neuroscience, and practical application of living secure in a struggling world. This isn't about behavior modification—it's about transformation. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or anyone raising or influencing children, we're learning together what it means to refuse to participate in our own demise and actively walk in the transformative power of the life we've been GIVEN.

We've become really good at managing crises, but somewhere along the way, we forgot how to live. In this season premiere, we introduce what it means to restore the lost art of being family—creating homes where a hard life is experienced differently, in secure relationships. This isn't about behavior modification or quick fixes. It's about life cultivation. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or anyone raising or influencing children, this episode sets the foundation for everything we'll explore together this season. In This Episode, You'll Discover: Why modern parenting has become crisis management—and what we're missing The Performance/Pain Relief cycle keeping families stuck in survival mode How our brains are being shaped by what we practice (survival, striving, or freedom) The two lenses: Old Lens (earn, deserve, take) vs. New Lens (trust, receive) What Jesus really meant in John 15 about unfruitful branches (spoiler: you're being lifted up, not burned) An introduction to the LIF alphabet—a guide to living secure in a struggling world One simple practice to begin transformation this week Quotable Moments "We've become really good problem-solvers. We know how to eliminate threats, but we've forgotten how to LIVE." "We're starving for relational nutrition in the middle of a fast-food feast of standardized success and maximized comfort." "A hard life is experienced differently in secure relationships. We're not offering a life without problems—we're offering a secure place to stand while navigating problems." "Our brains are being built by what we practice. When we practice security, our brains begin to rewire." "Unfruitful living branches are restored; dead branches are removed to protect life. God does not discard the struggling—He tends them back to life." "You are not a dead branch about to be burned. You're a living branch being lifted up." "The way we SEE changes everything."   "God won't skip you to get to your children." Three Takeaways We're restoring the lost art of being family. This season is about learning to create homes where a hard life is experienced differently—in secure relationships. Not crisis management, but life cultivation. You're a living branch being lifted up. God doesn't discard the struggling—He tends them back to life. You're not too far gone. You're not failing. You're being repositioned to bear fruit. Trust that. This week: just notice. When you reach for something, ask yourself: Am I reaching from security (trusting and receiving from the Source) or insecurity (trying to earn, deserve, or take what I need)? Awareness is the first step. We're learning this together. Connect With Us Website: John15Academy.com Email: janet@john15academy.com   doug@john15academy.com Support Our Work This podcast is made possible by listeners like you. We're a donor-supported ministry, and we'd love to have you join our team. Learn more about supporting this work and access additional resources at john15academy.com/give. About This Season Season Seven: Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family is a journey through the LIF (Love Is Fearless) alphabet—a guide to creating homes where a hard life is experienced differently, in secure relationships. Each episode explores the theology, neuroscience, and practical application of living secure in a struggling world. This isn't about behavior modification—it's about transformation. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or anyone raising or influencing children, we're learning together what it means to refuse to participate in our own demise and actively walk in the transformative power of the life we've been GIVEN.

Summary What if the "practical" parenting strategies you're searching for require something deeper first - the liberation of your own mind? In this episode, Janet and Doug explore the third instrument of formation: LIFE - the intentional pursuit and savoring of ideas that are good, true, and beautiful. Drawing on research about manufactured mental captivity and personal stories about breaking generational cycles, they reveal why parents can't create relational safety for their children while their own minds remain captured by anxiety-producing information systems. This isn't about adding more to your overwhelmed schedule - it's about recognizing that ideas are already forming you, and learning to choose which ones and toward what end. Janet and Doug discuss: The Operating System You Didn't Choose We inherit operating systems from our family of origin - either developing trust relationships in grace environments, or adapting through pseudo-connection to meet unmet needs Both love and sin are processes of meeting needs - the difference is the source Our bodies create efficient neural pathways to whatever meets our needs, whether healthy or unhealthy As children, we can't do what we've never seen The Effort of Decision Once you've agreed with God that truth sets you free (John 8:32), you stop wasting energy choosing between old coping strategies and new life When you live through struggle with the integrity of being connected to God and your true self, you want MORE of that joy Experiencing freedom improves your vision - mental decluttering becomes celebration rather than chore Convictions made in advance make daily choices easier (example: choosing reading season over streaming) Manufactured Mental Captivity Research shows psychological knowledge is being weaponized to keep minds "enslaved to consuming, conflict and outrage" This manufactured mental chaos pushes people into survival mode (threat detection) and striving mode (performance anxiety) Parents can't create relational safety for children while their own minds are captured Mental illness often emerges when pain and performance goals collide The Three Questions Framework What am I absorbing without choosing it? (information diet, social media, news cycles) What am I intentionally seeking? (difference between consuming content and savoring ideas) What am I savoring that puts gas in my tank? (beauty, goodness, truth as fuel not luxury) This Week's Experiments: Mental Diet Audit Track for 3 days what ideas you're absorbing Notice how your body feels after different inputs Create awareness, not shame One Intentional Choice Pick one good/true/beautiful thing to seek daily Could be: one poem, one chapter, one worship song, time in nature Focus on intentionality, not perfection Notice the Difference Pay attention to your nervous system throughout the day Do you feel more grounded or more anxious? How does it affect your capacity for your family? Remember: The instrument of LIFE isn't about adding more to your overwhelmed schedule - it's about recognizing that ideas are already forming you. The question is: which ideas, and toward what end? Resources Mentioned in This Episode Previous Podcast Episodes: Why Integrity Matters With Scott Morrison How Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life Shape Your Family Story Why Your Home's Atmosphere Shapes Your Child's Soul Discipline Is Not What You Think: How Real Formation Replaces Control Key Principle Mentioned: "If it's not beautiful, we don't do it" - a family conviction that shapes daily choices Want to break generational cycles and build mental freedom in your family? Start with these three experiments this week and share your discoveries with us. 

What if the key to spiritual growth isn't trying harder—but learning how to feel safe, seen, and loved? In this episode, Doug and Janet sit down with psychologist and author Dr. Todd Hall for a powerful conversation about attachment, transformation, and the kind of love that reshapes your life. Together, they explore how our early relational patterns affect not just our parenting and marriage—but our relationship with God. You'll learn: How to recognize attachment patterns that keep you stuck Why behavior doesn't change until your nervous system feels safe How to respond to your child's big emotions without losing connection What it means to "abide" when your body has only known striving How presence and proximity—not pressure—create lasting transformation Whether you're a parent, pastor, or someone on a healing journey, this episode is full of practical tools and new language that will help you move from disconnection to security. "Transformation isn't about performing better. It's about being seen, loved, and known—especially in the places we've learned to hide." About Dr. Todd Hall:  Dr. Hall is the author of The Connected Life and a leading voice in the field of relational spirituality. A psychologist and professor at Biola University, his work helps people understand how love, attachment, and emotional presence are central to both healing and discipleship. Favorite Takeaways: You're not broken. You're reacting to what your body learned was normal. Correction is a gift of love—but connection must come first. The nervous system can't receive truth when it's overwhelmed. Spiritual formation is relational, not a list of disciplines. Parents shape their children's view of God through emotional safety. Resources Mentioned: Instagram: @drtoddwhall  Facebook: @drtoddwhall  LinkedIn: @drtoddwhall  Linktree: linktr.ee/drtoddwhall Website: https://www.relationalspirituality.co The Connected Life book by Dr. Todd Hall Learn more at John15Academy.com Let's Stay Connected: John 15 Academy is a donor-supported ministry that helps families and communities restore the lost art of being family through consulting, curriculum, speaking, and storytelling. Explore more and support our work at John15Academy.com/give. Together, there is great hope.

What if discipline isn't about becoming someone better—but about learning to live from the truth of who you already are? In this episode, we continue our conversation on discipline—not as punishment or control, but as the sacred practice of forming identity through daily habits of love, truth, and presence. We explore how discipline aligns with our new identity in Christ, and how we help our children grow into that truth—not by force, but by faithfulness. You'll hear stories of real formation—what it looks like in parenting, in marriage, and even in how we relate to ourselves. We talk about the awkward, vulnerable process of "showing up to spring training" after receiving the gift of a new identity—and how discipline is God's invitation to grow into that gift with grace, humility, and trust. This episode is not a list of parenting techniques—it's a reminder that formation happens in the small, sacred choices we make each day to believe what's true and build habits that reflect it. You're in the Right Place If… ✔ You want to help your children live from their identity in Christ—not just earn your approval ✔ You're wondering how to grow into the truth of your own identity when it still feels unfamiliar ✔ You're looking for a better way to parent than control—but you still want real structure and growth ✔ You long for family rhythms that feel secure, grace-filled, and aligned with the kingdom of God Key Takeaways: Discipline isn't punishment—it's the daily, steady work of forming identity and maturity. We're all being formed by something—the only question is… are we choosing it, or drifting into it? Small, intentional habits—meaningful conversations, returning to joy, asking for help—quietly rewrite the story our families live in. You don't have to get it perfect to make it powerful. Real growth happens in the ordinary, imperfect, love-soaked moments. Let's Keep Growing Together: Share this episode with a friend who's longing for a better way to parent—or simply to live loved. Visit John15Academy.com for more articles and a growing library of resources to help you live, love, and lead from a place of freedom. Resources We Mention: Article: Discipline Is Not What You Think: How Habit Training Forms the Soul Practicing the Art of Being Family (eBook): A simple, grace-filled guide for real-life family transformation Episode #161: The Three Instruments of Formation—How Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life Shape Your Family's Story Article: The Three Doors: Why Families Survive, Strive, or Find Freedom The Curated Life Newsletter: Join the community for encouragement and resources to live loved, not afraid Let's Stay Connected: We're a donor-supported ministry that helps families and communities restore the lost art of being family through consulting, curriculum, speaking, and storytelling. Explore more and support our work at John15Academy.com/give. Together, there is great hope.

Every family is practicing discipline—even if we don't realize it. But the question isn't whether discipline is happening… it's what kind of discipline is happening—and whether it's forming fear, frustration, or secure, lasting maturity.  Some discipline conforms us to the patterns of this world; kingdom discipline transforms us into the truth of who God created us to be. In this episode, we reframe discipline as the quiet, relational work of forming the soul—not controlling behavior. We explore how real discipline starts with us, flows through meaningful conversations, and shapes our families for the long haul. We also share relatable stories, unpack the common pitfalls that often undermine discipline, and invite parents—and grandparents—into a better way to grow. You're in the Right Place If… ✔ You're tired of reacting to your child's behavior and want to lead with love and intentionality ✔ You've ever wondered how to build trust with your children—not just obedience ✔ You want practical ways to guide your kids with integrity, not control ✔ You believe discipline should shape identity, not shrink it with shame Key Takeaways: Discipline isn't punishment—it's the quiet, daily formation of character, identity, and belonging. Meaningful conversations are one of the most powerful tools of discipline when they model safety, truth, and connection. Real growth begins when we stop reacting to behavior and start responding to the deeper needs beneath it. As Hebrews 12:6 reminds us, "The Lord disciplines those He loves." When we let God form us, we're equipped to guide our families with love, not fear. Resources We Mention: Article: Discipline Is Not What You Think: How Habit Training Forms the Soul Practicing the Art of Being Family (eBook): A simple, grace-filled guide for real-life family transformation Episode #161: The Three Instruments of Formation—How Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life Shape Your Family's Story Article: The Three Doors: Why Families Survive, Strive, or Find Freedom The Curated Life Newsletter: Join the community for encouragement and resources to live loved, not afraid Let's Stay Connected: We're a donor-supported ministry that helps families and communities restore the lost art of being family through consulting, curriculum, speaking, and storytelling. Explore more and support our work at John15Academy.com/give. Together, there is great hope.

In today's special episode, Doug and Janet share the story behind Rooted in Kerrville—a project born from their deep love of the Texas Hill Country, their partnership with Mercy Gate Ministries, and their heartache for a community forever changed by the devastating July 4 flood. This is more than a relief effort. It's a long-term investment in soul restoration. When the flood hit, the physical damage was immense—but so was the emotional and spiritual toll. Local nonprofits like Mercy Gate are overwhelmed. Families are grieving. And pastors and helpers are exhausted, yet still showing up. In this episode, we share: How our work with Mercy Gate Ministries began—and why it matters now more than ever Why we're developing a brand-new print resource to help Kerrville's pastors, parents, and leaders rebuild from the inside out How you can support this sacred work through prayer, generosity, and presence Why we're also launching a free 40-day reflection series on Substack to walk with Kerrville—and anyone grieving or disoriented—through this season of restoration We're not asking the people of Kerrville to give. We're asking those of us outside the flood zone to say: "We're still here. We see you. We believe in restoration." Want to Help? Give to Support Long-Term Restoration - Your gift helps fund: The editing, design, and printing of the Rooted in Kerrville: Restoration from the Inside Out guide Our continued consulting and formation-based work with Mercy Gate Ministries Ongoing presence, training, and relational restoration efforts for the community Give Now → john15academy.com/kerrville Walk With Us: A Ministry of Presence - We're also publishing a free 40-day reflection series—short, gentle emails written especially for the people of Kerrville but meaningful for anyone navigating grief, disruption, or the slow work of restoration. The Substack essays are not a fundraising tool. It's a ministry of presence. An offering of hope. And a way to remember that you're not alone. Subscribe Free → janetnewberry.substack.com Final Word - You don't have to be strong to be loved. You don't have to rush your grief. You're allowed to feel, to rest, and to heal—one day at a time. Let's walk this road together. For Kerrville. For each other. For the kind of restoration that starts from the inside out. Together, there is great hope.

Every family is being shaped by a story, whether we realize it or not. The question isn't if formation is happening…it's what kind of formation is happening, and whether it's rooted in fear or freedom.  In this episode, we introduce The Three Instruments of Formation—Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life—and explore how they help create secure, connected homes where faith and maturity can take root. We also revisit the Three Doors framework and share how real families—maybe even yours—are living in stories of survival, striving, or freedom. Most of us didn't choose the story we grew up in, but we can choose the story we pass on. You're in the Right Place If… You're tired of reacting in the moment and want to be intentional about shaping your home. You've ever wondered why your family feels stuck—and what it would take to create real change. You want practical ways to create a secure, grace-filled environment for your kids. You believe there's more to parenting than behavior management—and you're ready to experience it. Key Takeaways: Formation is always happening—the atmosphere, rhythms, and input in your home are shaping your family's story every day. Secure relationships—not pressure, performance, or perfection, are the foundation for maturity and a life of faith. The Three Instruments of Formation—Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life—are simple, practical tools to help your family align with freedom, not fear. It's never too late to shift the story you're living and passing on. Small, intentional changes make a lasting difference. Resources We Mention: Episode #155: How The Story You Live Shapes the Family You Build The Three Doors Article: The Three Doors: Why Families Survive, Strive, or Find Freedom New Article: How Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life Form Your Family Practicing the Art of Being Family (eBook) — A simple, grace-filled guide for real-life family transformation The Curated Life Newsletter — Join the community for encouragement and resources to live loved, not afraid Let's Stay Connected: We're a donor-supported ministry helping families and communities practice the art of being family—through consulting, curriculum, speaking, and storytelling. Explore more and support our work at John15Academy.com/give. Together, there is great hope.

Episode Summary: Before a single word is spoken, we've already told a story. The emotional and spiritual tone we carry into a room—our atmosphere—is one of the most powerful instruments of formation in family life. In this episode, we unpack what atmosphere is, why it matters, and how it quietly shapes what our children believe about love, safety, identity, and belonging. You'll discover how the Three Doors framework (Survival, Striving, and Transformation) shows up in the "air" of our homes and why peace-building—not pressure—creates the soil where souls grow. Whether you're parenting, leading, or simply learning how to abide instead of perform, this episode will help you breathe a little deeper and build relationships that last. You're in the right place if… You sometimes wonder why your home feels tense, even when no one is saying anything out loud. You've tried all the right parenting strategies, but something still feels off beneath the surface. Your child seems anxious, explosive, or withdrawn—and you're realizing that presence matters more than pressure You want to build a home where peace is the atmosphere and formation begins with love, not fear. Key Takeaways: Atmosphere is the first instrument of formation. Long before our kids hear our words, they feel our presence. Parents—not children—are responsible for the emotional tone of the home. Your nervous system sets the thermostat. You can't build homes of transformation with materials shaped by fear. Peace is the environment where souls grow. You don't need to be perfect—you need to be present. The atmosphere of Door #3 is formed by grace, not performance. If you haven't yet heard other episodes in this series, listen now: #154 - Are You Aiming At The Wrong Target? Why Parenting Feels So Hard #155 - How The Story We Live Shapes the Family We Build Resources mentioned in this episode: The Three Doors - Why Families Strive, Survive, or Find Freedom (blog post) Atmosphere - What Our Children Feel Before We Say A Word (blog post)  Purchase the eBook: Practicing the Art of Being Family Subscribe to The Curated Life Newsletter Read the Manifesto Let's Stay Connected: We're a donor-supported ministry helping families and communities practice the art of being family—through consulting, curriculum, speaking, and storytelling. Explore more and support our work at John15Academy.com/give. Together, there is great hope.

What if prayer wasn't about getting the words right, but about being real? In this tender and honest conversation, Janet and Doug sit down with poet and author Tanner Olson, whose new children's book All the Things I Say to God is helping families make prayer a natural part of everyday life. They explore Tanner and his wife's journey through infertility and adoption, the power of surrender, and what it means to live a creative life anchored in faith, family, and honest conversations with God. You're in the Right Place If… You want to raise kids who feel safe enough to talk to God about anything. You're in a season of waiting, wondering where God is in the silence. You've ever wrestled with not being in control, but longed to feel secure anyway. Highlights from the Conversation: Prayer as Presence – How Tanner's book models that sitting quietly with God is just as valid as speaking out loud. Love in the Waiting – Their shared experience of waiting for children—and discovering that grief and joy often share the same space. Peace Over Performance – Why surrender isn't giving up, but choosing safety in God instead of control. Creative Callings – Tanner's story of becoming a poet, the faith of his parents, and the courage it takes to follow a different path. Key Takeaways: Children don't need perfect prayers. They need permission to speak to God like they speak to someone who loves them. Surrendered doesn't mean powerless. It means safe and secure in the hands of a faithful God—even when you don't have all the answers. Waiting can be formative. Love, art, and spiritual maturity often grow in the in-between spaces. We are receivers first. God is the initiator, and our job is to remain open—to receive, respond, and create from love. Mentioned in this Episode: All the Things I Say to God by Tanner Olson  Tanner's website:  writtentospeak.com Follow Tanner on Instagram: @writtentospeak Help Us Share the Good News: If this episode encouraged you, please share it with a friend—or post it on social media and tag @john15academy and @writtentospeak. Together, there is great hope.

If your children are grown—or even moving back home—and you've just now found language for what it means to live loved instead of afraid… this episode is for you. Today, we're responding to questions from listeners who've read the manifesto, heard the message at Network 220, watched this YouTube conversation with Janet and Robby Angle, or started exploring Practicing the Art of Being Family. They're asking: "Do these truths still apply if my kids are already out of the house?" And, "Is there still great hope if my children are already grown?" The answer is yes. Because you're still a parent—but you're first a child of God. And healing begins the moment you stop striving to fix the story, and start living from what's already true. We explore: Why your peace is more important than your perfection How formation still happens—no matter how old your kids are The difference between carrying your child's burden and becoming their safe place What it looks like to lead your family without fear—even in a season of disappointment, distance, or regret This episode will meet you where you are—and help you begin again, without starting over. Takeaways: Your family's story isn't finished. The Gospel doesn't expire with age. Restoration is still possible—because transformation begins in you, not your circumstances. You can't give what you haven't received. When you abide in your identity as a beloved child of God, you stop asking your children to meet needs only the Father can fill. Peace is your starting point. True leadership isn't about control or correction—it's about being the safest, most truthful presence in the room. Resources Mentioned in this episode: Trueface – The PATH A new book and discipleship resource helping people walk in truth, identity, and grace. Sarah Boyd – Turn Down the NoiseA beautiful book for helping children develop emotional resilience in an overstimulated world. Check out our practical and inspirational conversation with Sarah in episode #156-How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids in a Chronically Overstimulated World John 15 Academy Manifesto - A free invitation to rethink family through the lens of identity, grace, and formation. Practicing the Art of Being Family – eBook - A 3-part framework for restoring the lost art of being family—through atmosphere, discipline, and life. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend and leave a review. Your support helps us spread the message of fearless love and family transformation. You were made for a beautiful life. You don't have to settle for less. 💙

Today, we have the joy of welcoming Robby Angle, President and CEO of Trueface, to the Love is Fearless Podcast! Robby is passionate about helping people move from simply knowing about grace to living out their true identity in Jesus—with trust, freedom, and relational depth. Before leading Trueface, Robby pastored thousands toward authentic community at North Point Community Church. Now, he's helping steward a powerful new resource called The Path—an experience designed to move believers beyond striving and into a transformational life of trusting God. Also, The Path Experience Guide is designed for community groups to facilitate life change through relationships. Together, we'll explore: What inspired The Path and why it's so needed now How trusting God (not just pleasing Him) changes everything Why following Jesus sometimes feels harder after you surrender—and how that's part of real transformation How families, not just individuals, can be reshaped by grace You're in the Right Place If… You're tired of knowing about grace but still feeling stuck. Maybe you're looking for God's approval. Maybe you're looking for man's approval. Maybe you're tired of looking for approval, and you're ready to admit you're looking for meaning and purpose.  You're not sure about Jesus - and you're really not sure about a life of faith. Too much of what you see either lacks authenticity or adds too much pressure…but, honestly, you're tired of dreading Mondays…so if there's more to the Jesus story than you've experienced so far…you're curious. You're ready to stop trying to figure it out alone—and start walking the path of grace with Jesus. Favorite quotes from today's conversation:  (Doug's favorite) "Each and every one of us longs for fulfillment. It's in our bones, in our blood, in our breath. We sense that we are made for peace and joy and yet it slips through our grasping fingers like water and wind. Breathe. Find the courage to look at your longing, at your closed fists. And ask: What have I been searching for?" (The City, The Path) (Janet's favorite) "The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." (Frederick Buechner) "Every morning we stand on the wild edge of a story unfolding beneath our very feet." (The Story, The Path) 📥 Download the manifesto to start transformative conversations in your marriage, small group, or church community. Get your copy of Practicing the Art of Being Family today and start experiencing a new story of hope in your home.   If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend and leave a review. Your support helps us spread the message of fearless love and family transformation. You were made for a beautiful life. You don't have to settle for less. 💙

In this special episode of LOVE IS FEARLESS, Janet and Doug are joined by Sarah Boyd—author, child and adolescent development expert, and founder of Resilient Little Hearts. Sarah's new book, Turn Down the Noise, offers a much-needed guide to raising emotionally healthy kids in today's overstimulated world. This warm, insightful conversation explores the realities families face and the hope available when we slow down, simplify, and create a safe emotional atmosphere at home. You're in the Right Place If… You feel caught between wanting to slow down and fearing what will happen if you do. You've seen big emotions or challenging behaviors in your child and wondered, "Is this anxiety… or are we all just overwhelmed?" You've ever felt like the pace of modern life is stealing the peace in your home—or wondered why your child's emotions feel so big (or yours so close to the surface). Conversation Takeaways -  Overstimulation is not a parenting failure—it's a cultural reality. But it's not inevitable. We can shape environments that help our children thrive. Emotional maturity in children begins with emotional safety—and safety begins with us. Slowing down is not weakness; it's wisdom. Simplifying our home rhythms isn't about doing less—it's about doing what matters most: creating space for connection, rest, and delight. The emotional atmosphere of our home doesn't have to feed the chaos. Home can become a place of healing. Resources & Links Mentioned 🌐 Sarah's Website – Resilient Little Hearts 📘 Preorder Sarah's new book – Turn Down the Noise 📕 Children's Book – The Boy Who Stood Up Tall Follow Sarah Boyd -  Instagram: @resilientlittlehearts Facebook: Resilient Little Hearts Explore More from John 15 Academy Read the Manifesto Dive into the eBook  Stay tuned for our upcoming family and church curriculum! 📩 Subscribe to The Curated Life – Get grace-filled parenting insights delivered to your inbox every month. Sign up here! 📲 Follow Us & Stay Connected: 🔗 Instagram | Facebook | Website | Merch Together, there is great hope.

What if your parenting struggles aren't about strategy—but about the story your family is living? In this episode, Janet introduces The Three Doors—a simple but powerful framework that reveals how the emotional and spiritual atmosphere of your home helps conform or transform the people your children become. Whether you're stuck in survival, exhausted from striving, or longing for something more—this conversation will give you hope, clarity, and practical next steps. We're not managing behavior—we're building a culture where transformation grows. 🔑 You're in the Right Place If... You've tried every parenting strategy and still feel like you're falling short. Your home feels either too tense or too checked out—and you're craving connection. You long for grace-based parenting but don't know how to make it practical. You'll Learn: The 3 "story environments" families live in (and how to tell which one you're in) Why language is the fertilizer of transformation How to create a home where identity grows stronger than fear 📌 3 Key Takeaways Every family is living in a story—but not every story leads to transformation. What story are you building? The emotional and relational atmosphere of your home speaks louder than your rules. You don't have to create a new story alone—transformation begins by walking through the door that's already open. 🙌 Final Invitation Today, Jesus isn't asking you to try harder—He's inviting you to step into a free life where transformation grows, not from pressure, but from grace. Your home can be a place where shame loses its grip, and love makes you whole. 🟢 Read the free manifesto 🟢 Visit john15academy.com for articles, podcast episodes, and resources 🟢 Start a conversation about bringing this message to your church or small group 🟢 Partner with us—your gift helps more families walk into Door #3📩 Subscribe to The Curated Life – Get grace-filled parenting insights delivered to your inbox every month. Sign up here! 📲 Follow Us & Stay Connected: 🔗 Instagram | Facebook | Website | Merch   Together, there is great hope. New boost

Episode Summary: Parenting is exhausting—but what if the struggle isn't because you're doing it wrong, but because you're aiming at the wrong target? In this episode, we unpack the story of an Olympic athlete who hit the bullseye—but lost everything because he was aiming at the wrong lane. This powerful analogy helps parents recognize how our culture trains us to aim at compliance instead of wholeness—and why that's a costly misalignment.   If parenting feels like a constant battle to "get it right," this episode will help you reframe your target and find a path that leads to peace, connection, and lasting transformation. You're in the Right Place If... ✔ You feel exhausted trying to get your kids to listen and obey. ✔ You wonder why your best efforts still lead to tension at home. ✔ You're looking for a way to parent that brings peace, not pressure. Key Takeaways: 🎯 The Target Determines Everything – If we aim at compliance, we might get short-term results but miss long-term maturity. The right target is wholeness through transformation. 💨 Stress Shrinks Perspective – When we're overwhelmed, we default to control. But pressure and compliance don't create maturity—they hijack it. 🌱 Maturity happens through trust, not control. Read More & Continue the Conversation 🔗 Related Articles: 📖 Struggling in the Kingdom vs. the Upside-Down World – How your response to struggle shapes everything. 📖 Transformational vs. Transactional Relationships – Why parenting is about more than "just getting kids to behave." 📖 The Way of Jesus vs. The Way of the World – The parenting shift that changes everything. 🎧 Listen to Past Episodes: Episode #153: Why We Struggle With Struggle—3 Steps to Strengthen Emotional Resilience Take the Next Step: 💡 Pause and reflect. Where am I aiming? Am I focusing on behavior or cultivating a secure connection? 📝 Journal Prompt – Where does stress cause me to default to control? What small shift can I make today to trust God in my parenting? 🎙 Share Your Thoughts! – Leave us a review or share this episode with a friend who needs encouragement. 📩 Subscribe to The Curated Life – Get grace-filled parenting insights delivered to your inbox every month. Sign up here! 📲 Follow Us & Stay Connected: 🔗 Instagram | Facebook | Website | Merch

Struggle isn't the enemy, but how we navigate it can either weaken or strengthen our families. In this episode of Love Is Fearless, we're tackling a fundamental shift that can change everything about the way we experience challenges at home and beyond. The world teaches us to fear struggle, to fix it, avoid it, or control it. But the kingdom of God offers a completely different way forward—one that leads to peace, connection, and resilience instead of exhaustion and shame. Today, we're diving into the power of relational terrain—the unseen atmosphere of trust, connection, and security that determines whether struggle will make us stronger or wear us down. 🔑 In this episode, we explore: 1️⃣ Struggle isn't the real problem—fear, isolation, and shame are. It's not the struggle itself that harms us; it's how we respond to it. In the kingdom, struggle is an invitation to growth, not a reason for guilt. 2️⃣ Your home's relational terrain shapes how your family navigates struggle. When kids feel safe, seen, and connected, they develop resilience. But when fear, control, or performance shape the home, struggle feels like a crisis instead of a place to grow. 3️⃣ 3 Steps to Strengthen Your Family's Relational Immune System: The Habit of a Greeting: Simple, daily connection reinforces identity and worth. Technology-Free Zones: Choosing where and when we abide in real connection shapes what fills our minds and hearts. The Habit of a Good Night: Ending the day with peace and presence strengthens security instead of fueling performance anxiety. 🚀 Key Takeaways: 💡 "Struggle doesn't mean you're failing—it means you're growing." 💡 "You don't have to control every challenge. You just need to build a home where love, truth, and security hold steady when struggle comes." 💡 "The terrain of your relationships determines whether struggle strengthens you or breaks you." 📖 Great Resources Mentioned in This Episode: 📚 Education by Design, Not Default – Janet Newberry's book on transformation through relationships, rhythms, and learning in freedom. 📚 Atomic Habits – James Clear's groundbreaking book on how small, intentional habits create lasting change. 📚 Sacred Attachment – Michael Cusick's wisdom on healing and transformation through secure relationships. 📚 The Connected Life – Dr. Todd Hall's guide to relational spirituality and why love changes everything. 💌 Stay Connected & Keep Growing Sign up for The Curated Life, your monthly guide to restoring the lost art of being family. As a subscriber, you'll get: ✅ Early updates on Janet's upcoming e-book, church curriculum, and speaking events ✅ Encouraging blog posts and resources for your family's journey ✅ Exclusive access to download the Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family manifesto for free Join us at john15academy.com and step into a new way of family-ing. 💙 If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend and leave a review! Your support helps us spread the message of fearless love and kingdom parenting. 🙏 Thank you for listening! You were made for a beautiful life—you don't have to settle for less.

In this special episode of the Love Is Fearless podcast, we're excited to launch something deeply personal and transformative—our manifesto: "Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family." These aren't just words on a page; they're an invitation to reimagine what's possible for your family.   🔑 In this episode, we discuss five key ideas from the manifesto: 1. Great parents are first great children. Before you can lead your family well, you have to embrace your identity as a child of God. Parenting isn't just about what you do—it's about  who you are in Him.  2. You can't give what you haven't received. If you want your kids to live free from fear and shame, you have to learn to live that way yourself. Healthy parenting starts with your own transformation.  3. Quick fixes don't last. Behavior management tricks might work for a while, but eventually, they backfire—on you or your child. Real change happens at the heart level, not through shortcuts.  4. Worth is a gift, not a goal. You'll never give your best self to your family if you're too busy trying to prove your value. Your worth isn't something you earn—it's something you receive.  5. Jesus offers what self-reliance never can. Trying to control your kids won't bring peace. Surrendering them to Jesus will. True safety isn't a tighter grip. It's trusting Jesus.    🚀 Key Takeaways: "The problem isn't you—it's the story you've been handed." "Parents were never meant to carry the weight of shame—and our kids weren't meant to inherit it." "The Kingdom of God is at hand, and that changes everything." 📥 Download the manifesto to start transformative conversations in your marriage, small group, or church community.   If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend and leave a review. Your support helps us spread the message of fearless love and family transformation. You were made for a beautiful life. You don't have to settle for less. 💙 Find more great resources mentioned in this episode:  Joshua Gordon - LazarusBooks.com - Senior Editor at theleadpastor.com #041: If I don't manipulate — How do I Get My Kids to Do the Right Thing Part 1 #042: If I don't manipulate — How do I Get My Kids to Do the Right Thing Part 2 Visit john15academy.com to sign up for The Curated Life—your monthly guide to restoring the lost art of being family. As a subscriber, you'll get: Early updates on Janet's upcoming e-book, church curriculum, and speaking events Encouraging blog posts and resources for your family's journey Access to download the Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family manifesto for free Our work at John 15 Academy is made possible by generous supporters. If you'd like to join our support team, we'd be honored to have you with us. Together, there is great hope. 🙏 Thank You for Listening!