Young Urban Zen SF

In Zen and traditional Buddhism there are a number of tools that can be cultivated to help us in these relationships and some of you may have wisdom to share in the practice of relationships and work.

Eli opens a conversation on how to be in relationship with “people we don’t like”. He discusses how sitting zazen might help us practice with unpleasant feelings that come up in conflict—anger, frustration, judgement, resentment, and so on. What if we looked at relationships with “people we don’t like” not as imperfections in practice but as the practice itself?

Kōgetsu talks about Intimacy with the Self. We live in a world that constantly tells us we need to improve—to become better, more optimized versions of ourselves. Checklists, standards, performance reviews: we might even find ourselves trying to optimize our meditation practice. What would it mean to be truly intimate with ourselves—especially with our fear, shame, envy, anger, and the parts we’d rather not highlight—without letting the parts define us or control how we act? Buddhist teaching offers a different view. What we call the self is not a fixed thing, but a changing process built moment-by-moment from sensation, story, and habit. Much of our suffering comes not from having thoughts and feelings, but from becoming fused with them. We discuss how a meditation practice helps us stay close to our experience without being overtaken by it. How we can meet life’s ups and downs with greater steadiness, vulnerability, and presence, without believing every story the mind tells?

Hiro Ikushima gives a talk about Relationships. This is part 1 of a series. This talk focused on family. Ram Dass once said, “If you think you are enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” Many of us recognize the truth in that. Family can be both our deepest source of love and our greatest challenge.Hiro guides us on how explore remaining steady and compassionate in the midst of family dynamics, and how we might begin to see our family members as part of our spiritual path.

In our final paramita talk, Kristen Diggs leads a talk regarding the Paramita of Wisdom. What is complete and perfect wisdom? How can we look to find it?

Tim Wicks leads a talk regarding the Paramitas (aka crossing over) focusing on Concentration. Why do we meditate, and what is it that we are trying to do facing the wall? Working with the mind and our thoughts is central to Zen practice and, for many of us, the most difficult part. “We are trying to cross over away from the distractions and delusions that prevent us from full awareness.”

How do we keep showing up in our work, relationships, and the world without exhausting ourselves or betraying what matters most to us?Eli discusses joyful effort (virya): an approach to effort that isn’t about grinding harder, chasing outcomes, or measuring worth through productivity. Drawing on Zen practice and lived experience, we unpack questions many of us carry quietly: Am I doing enough? What does sustainable commitment look like? How do I stay engaged when trust is low and fatigue is high?

In this talk, Kōgetsu discusses generosity also known as Dana. Buddhist practice invites us to look more deeply at how we can meet the roots of suffering. We will explore how generosity includes how we relate to ourselves and others, how we listen, how we repair, how we set limits, and how wisdom guides what actually helps rather than what simply feels good in the moment. Zazen trains us to meet generosity with clarity rather than compulsion.

In this talk, Mei discusses the paramita of ethical conduct. Sīla (ethical conduct) is one of the six paramitas (perfections) that develops a practitioner on the path of freedom, while simultaneously manifesting awakened activity. Though most Westerners don't initially delight in the topic of ethical behavior, Mei explains that virtue is one of the most beautiful expressions of the awakened mind. 

This talk is the beginning of a series on the paramitas which are the fruits of living the precepts of Buddhism. Michael will be discussing the paramita of patience in this talk. Paramitas are viewed as perfections to be addressed directly as a way of working with one's practice.  Please come and turn over not only this paramita but how it relates to our everyday life, no matter where we spend our day (in the monastery, out in the world, in the home...).

Tim Wicks closes out the year (2025) with a talk about Renunciation, letting go.He speaks about the grasping at the root of our suffering, our conditioning as "graspers," and how we help each other in learning to let go. 

As the year comes to a close, Young Urban Zen invites you into The Gift of Nothing: a talk and experiential practice on generosity without striving. Eli Brown-Stevenson leads us together through an exploration on what it means to give, receive, and belong when we release the need to add, fix, or improve anything.

When practice starts to feel frustrating, like why am I not feeling a certain way by now, or when we wonder if we’re “doing it right”—it can quietly turn into a kind of transaction. We’ll explore this train of thought with some lightness and curiosity, and look at how practice can become less about getting somewhere and more about meeting ourselves where we are with compassion.

Many of you may be traveling this year or at least experiencing a different schedule (some may take time off; some may work more due to the rest of the team taking time off... etc.) than how things usually unfold for you.How will you stay grounded in the midst of large meals, or extra time or family interactions, or increased solitude?In this talk, Michael discusses what Zen principles apply to staying grounded in the midst of change. 

Tim Wicks leads a talk looking at the many obstacles that we face on our path to awakening. By focusing on the hindrances and how we work with them, we see that there is a way forward to address the feelings of separation and isolation by cultivating wisdom through intimate practice that leads us to the truth of interconnection.

Hiro Ikushima explores “Working with Subtle Frustrations”, the quiet sense that something is missing, and the low-level dissatisfaction that follows us through the day. In Zen, these small irritations become important teachers when we meet them directly rather than trying to fix or avoid them.

In this talk, Kōgetsu Mok ponders the idea of “not believing all your thoughts”. How can our zazen practice help us to quiet unrest, dis-ease, stress, and pain? How can we cultivate discernment in practice? 

Michael McCord prompts us with a few questions before diving into the concept of harboring ill will. What is forgiveness in the Buddhist practice? How do we work with long standing grievances and short term frustrations?

Rev. Kristin Diggs discusses how in the Soto Zen tradition we emphasize careful attention to the details immediately at hand, and doing one thing at a time, doing one thing completely. What does it mean, and how is it relevant in our fast-paced digital age? It couldn't be more relevant.

Ryushin Paul Haller, long-time resident senior teacher and former Abbot, discusses the deepening of awareness and noticing how it affects how we respond to self and others; as we learn to see how we respond to our experiences, we see how we cause suffering for ourselves and others. This talk was streamed live for this fall’s second EPP (Establishing the Path of Practice) course. Learn more about EPP here.