Psych and the City

Sarah speaks with psychotherapist Dr. Joe Kort, PhD, LMSW about his 40-years long work with individuals and couples trying to strengthen their relationships. Dr Kort specializes in marital problems and conflict, mixed orientation marriages, male sexuality, and out of control sexual behavior to name just a few of his areas of expertise. In 2013, Dr Kort coined the term 'sides', finally terming an identity that many share but few named. Sides typically describes gay men who do not engage in anal sex, instead preferring other forms of outercourse. We discuss mixed orientation relationships, clinical considerations when working with certain populations, as well as the problem with 'sex addiction.'Prefer to read instead of listen? Podcast episodes are transcribed at Sarah's Ghost page called Kiss and Tell. Resources and Contact:Mankind projectMaya Coleman TIktok: DrJoeKortFacebook: DrJoeKort Linkedin: DrJoeKortDrJoeKort.comInstagram: @psychandthecitybkwww.sarah-kelleher.comKiss and Tell

Sarah interviews Stella Harris, certified intimacy educator, sex coach, and author. Stella gives the 4-1-1 on how to ACTUALLY listen, hear, and be a safer person when it comes to communication, especially about some of the scarier stuff - sex, relationships, and kink. Stella's tools will help you put language to what you want and share it. Stella Harris is the author of two books, Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships, and The Ultimate Guide to Threesomes. You can find Sarah on instagram @psychandthecitybk & @psychandthecity.bsky.socialand Stella at www.stellaharris.net@stellaharriserotica on Instagramor @stellaharris.bsky.social

Sarah speaks to Nicole Prause, PhD, an expert sexuality scientist and researcher. The two discuss the TRUTH aka the studies and science surrounding manosphere communities and no fap and no nut forums. We also address the the myth of sex and porn addiction and treatment planning for those who struggle.

Sarah speaks with Tabitha, a South Dakota-based illustrator whose work focuses on menstruation. Through her work, she hopes to promote period positivity and awareness in a fun, unique way. Sarah and Tabitha discuss the bleeding basics as well as different types of period products, the history of taxes on those products, period poverty, what actually happens during menstruation and much, much more. This episode aims to scratch the surface on menstruation and provide the education surrounding bodies we all need but didn't get in health class. Learn much more through the resource list below! Resources: Tabitha: @period_prophetess https://allianceforperiodsupplies.org/period-poverty/ https://period-action.org/advocacy https://www.wearehervillage.org https://www.expectingrelief.org https://www.momsformomsnyc.org https://www.aclu.org/report/menstrual-equity @psychandthecitybk

Sarah speaks with co-founder of the Equitable Care Certification, Soleil Merroir and poet-activist, Jenna Torres about the first ever curriculum for therapists created by sex workers. The Equitable Care Certification (ECC) is created by sex workers, sex working therapists, and allies; to help do just that - build a more equitable care model for sex workers seeking mental health care. In this episode, we discuss the barriers and experiences sex workers often have when pursuing mental health care and what is being done to address the major gaps. Therapists, anyone looking to learn more about sex work, and anyone breathing - this episode is for you. To support, donate, learn more or to become the best therapist ever: visit https://www.equitablecarecert.com/https://www.zeppwellness.com/. Instagram: @equitablecarecertification To find our amazing guests: Jenna, on instagram @monathairgoals; Soleil, on instagram @cyborgdreamz You can find me: @psychandthecitybk on instagram; TikTok: @psychandthecitybk The Equitable Care Certification (ECC) is created by sex workers, sex work-affirming therapists and sex working therapists; it is composed of the Equitable Care Coalition & the Curriculum Committee. The Equitable Care Coalition broadly supports the creation of the certification through outreach, marketing & consulting. The Curriculum Committee —led entirely by QTPOC, sex working therapists— creates all course content. ECC is overseen by two sex working therapists, Raquel Savage & Angie Gunn LCSW, CST, CSTS.

Sarah speaks with Marysa Carter, a Doctor of Physical Therapy, DPT, PT who specializes in pelvic health and sex education. Let me answer your question before you finish. Yes, if you have a pelvis, YOU have a pelvic floor. Absolutely flooding with knowledge, Arkansas-based Marysa gives me the basics - like, what even is a pelvic floor? - in addition to covering deeper topics - such as myofascial pain, vaginismus, vulvodynia, dyspareunia, and endometriosis. If you struggle with pain, incontinence, or simply just want to learn to more: give this gorgeous area of your body the attention it craves! Start here. No prior knowledge needed!  Resources: Marysa Carter on Instagram: @pelvichealthwithmarysa @jillkrapfmd; @vaginarehabdoctor; @dr.susieg; and @thevaginawhisperer on Instagram. ⁠Dr. Bri’s vibrant pelvic health⁠ page on YouTube.  Nancy’s Nook for Endometriosis Education and the Pelvic Pain Support Network are support groups on Facebook.  Intimate Rose is a company created by a pelvic floor PT that has a lot of video resources. Marysa have a discount code for them!:  ⁠intimaterose.com/MARYSA1⁠ There’s also a short film called Tightly Wound about vaginismus that Marysa recommends often.  @psychandthecitybk Podcast website: www.psychandthecitybk.com

Sarah speaks with Andrew Heartman, co-founder of the Surrogate Partner Collective and a surrogate partner for over 13 years. Often incorrectly referred to as 'sex surrogates,' Andrew explains the healing powers of surrogate partner therapy and how it's way more than just physical touch. With only about 50 surrogate partners in the United States, Andrew and his team are passionate about expanding and revitalizing surrogate partner therapy (SPT). Resources: Andrew Heartman Surrogate Partner Collective International Professional Surrogates Association Human Awareness Institute. HAI offers workshops in love, intimacy, and sexuality. The Embrace Surrogate Partner Therapy Resource Group: https://www.embracespt.org/ How SPT has changes since it was conceived: https://www.surrogatepartnercollective.org/post/the-evolution-of-surrogate-partner-therapy Ethics and Legality: https://www.surrogatepartnercollective.org/ethics-and-legality SPT Courses for Therapists/Clinicians: https://www.surrogatepartnercollective.org/courses Training for Surrogate Partners: https://www.surrogatepartnercollective.org/training Sarah: psychandthecitybk@gmail.com

Come along as I do a quick recap of object relations theory in preparation for my LCSW exam. This rundown is short, sweet, and filled with rapproachement. I hope these audio summaries of theories sometimes utilized in social work are helping others study and learn. The information about this theory came from the Dawn Apgar Social Work Licensing Clinical Exam, A Comprehensive Study Guide book (3rd edition). No this is not an ad, just the book I'm studying from.

Studying for the LCSW exam continues. For the next few weeks, I will be doing short, solo episodes, covering a theory or framework used in social work and listed in the Dawn Apgar Social Work Licensing Clinical Exam Study Guide, Edition Three. Come along as we study all the theories so I can pass my exam. Today, Freud’s psychosexual stages of development.

I’m beginning to study for my LCSW exam! For the next few weeks, I will be doing short, solo episodes, covering a theory or framework used in social work and listed in the Dawn Apgar Social Work Licensing Clinical Exam Study Guide, Edition Three. Come along as we study all the theories so I can pass my exam.

Today is part two of the dive into Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) and Dissociative Trauma Disorders. Anne and Lexi, co-founders of Beauty After Bruises, are back! This week, we are primarily focusing on dissociative trauma disorders. We debunk myths about DID and dissociation - like, how it's rare (it's not) and discuss the BASK model of dissociation. And finally, Dun dun duuun! the last third of the episode is dedicated to talking coping, grounding, self-care, and management strategies - THEY DO EXIST. This episode is suited for clinicians, survivors, and anyone looking to learn more.  Some of the topics we discuss may be activating to some folks. CW: ritual abuse  Resources:  Beauty After Bruises: https://www.beautyafterbruises.org/  Dispelling DID Myths and Misconceptions: https://www.beautyafterbruises.org/blog/didmyths International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation: https://www.isst-d.org/ DES II: The Dissociative Experiences Scale measures a wide variety of types of dissociation, including both problematic dissociative experiences, and normal dissociative experiences (e.g., day-dreaming). Try it yourself: http://traumadissociation.com/des Find Sarah: @Psychandthecitybk, Twitter: @psychndthecity; www.psychandthecitybk.com

This episode serves as an initial dive into Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) and Dissociative Disorders. Sarah speaks with Anne and Lexi, co-founders of Beauty After Bruises, a nonprofit organization dedicated to providing survivors of childhood trauma with both access and funding to receive therapy and/or inpatient care - while creating professional and public awareness for Complex PTSD and Dissociative Disorders. In the first episode of a two-part series, we discuss the basics of CPTSD and dissociative disorders - what they are and what they're not - and how survivors are the most steady and creative people we know. Part two (coming next week) will focus on additional psycho education on the 'smaller' symptoms in addition to offering a healthy supply of coping, healing, and relational supports.  Resources:Beauty After Bruises: https://www.beautyafterbruises.org/Dispelling DID Myths and Misconceptions: https://www.beautyafterbruises.org/blog/didmythsInternational Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation: https://www.isst-d.org/

Sarah interviews Jim Duffy, harm reduction advocate and founder of Smoke Works - an organization that provides injection alternatives and safe smoking supplies to syringe service providers and groups nationwide. Harm reduction programs often have difficulty obtaining and distributing pipes due to budgetary and legal hurdles. Smoke Works aims to fix that.Dedicated to drug user health equity and HIV and overdose prevention, Jim Duffy leads with lived experience and Smoke Works shares profits with underfunded groups performing direct-service work.In this episode we discuss crack, meth, and stimulant use, damaging paraphernalia laws, and why giving people access to pipes is a public health initiative. Jim and Sarah explicitly discuss drug use, stigma, and tips on what to do if you’ve taken too much or how to support someone who has. Resources:patreon.com/SmokeWorksInstagram: @SmokeworksbostonSmokeworkspipes.comSarah // Instagram: @psychandthecitybkPsych and the City Podcast: www.psychandthecitybk.comHarm reduction resources mentioned in the episode: Good Works: North Alabama Harm ReductionRad! Health ResourcesPunks With Lunch

Horny after a partner dies? NORMAL. Body and emotional numbness? NORMAL. Completely lost or somewhere in between? NORMAL. THE advocate for ageless sexuality Joan Price, shares insights from her book, Sex After Grief: Navigating Your Sexuality After Losing Your Beloved. After losing her partner of seven years, being the sex educator and senior sexpert she is, Joan went looking for resources and help. She found resources about sex. She found resources about grief. But found none at the intersection of what to do about grief and sex, particularly after losing a partner. There, Joan experienced the culture of silence surrounding sex and grief. With her book and teachings, Joan's trying to shift the myths and shame embedded in the current way we think about sex and grief, specifically after the death of a partner. Joan tells me that whatever you're feeling, or wanting, or not wanting, it's probably normal. Learn more about Joan: www.joanprice.comListen to all the episodes at: www.psychandthecitybk.com

On this fine Monday, Sarah interviews Reb Holmberg, aka Mistress Amanda Wildefyre, about their work and journey as a professional dominatrix for over 30 years. This episode discusses some of the basics of (only!) a few of Mistress Amanda’s specialties and interests: bondage, clinic and medical play, and cross-dressing. Amanda not only shares about their journey from Dominatrix to Educatrix, but speaks fondly of the freedom and healing that comes from permission to break free of the gender binary.Reb Holmberg, aka Mistress Amanda Wildefyre, is a professional dominatrix, writer, performer and BDSM educator practicing in Minneapolis and worldwide. For over three decades, they have contributed to the BDSM scene by offering workshops on a wide variety of topics, including Predicament Bondage, Suspension, Mummification, Pony Play, Electroplay, Genitorture and Switching for Tops. They are currently studying with the Institute for Sexuality Education and Enlightenment (www.InstituteforSexuality.com) towards Sex Educator Certification.Resources:www.rebholmberg.comwww.amandawildefyre.comIG: @realamandawildefyre; @reb.holmbergIG: @psychandthecitybkwww.sarah-kelleher.com

After a little hiatus, Sarah speaks with Jordan Dann, psychoanalyst and relationship coach specializing in somatic therapy and couples therapy. Jordan and Sarah talk about Gestalt therapy, Imago Relationship Therapy, and Somatic Experiencing, the theoretical underpinnings that inform Jordan's work as a couples therapist. There are so many nuggets of wisdom in this episode - whether you're a fellow therapist or a person that is in relation with others (hello, all of us!), this episode has some one liners that calmed my nervous system. In addition to talking theory and science, Jordan also shares some exercises and concepts individuals and couples can do to improve communication and become more attuned with themselves. Additional Topics of Discussion: Codependency, Closure, Mirroring, the nervous system, attachment theory, somatics, traumaResources: Jordan Dann: https://jordandann.com/Instagram: @jordandannGetting the Love You Want By: Harville Hendrix, Ph.DSarah Kelleher: www.sarah-kelleher.com, @psychandthecitybk

Sarah and her friend, end-of-life doula Lucy, discuss - yep, you guessed it: grief, death, and sex. In this episode, Lucy shares about what exactly an end-of-life doula is and all the (some wrong) ways we think about grief. We discuss the dying process, what a consent-focused approach to end of life care can look like, and how grief can show up in our bodies and sex lives. Lucy says, a lot of being an end-of-life doula is reminding people that they have choice and agency over what happens to their bodies throughout the dying process.Resources:Guest Contact: Lucy Moran, lucimo91@gmail.comHost: Sarah K, sarahkelleher91@gmail.com; psychandthecitybkBook: Ina May's Guide to ChildbirthThe Artist’s Grief Deck is a wonderful resource for prompts to move through grief during this pandemic. It has artwork and rituals and can be accessed here: https://griefdeck.comIf someone is interested in finding certified end of life doulas in their area, they can look through the directory in the National End of Life Doula Alliance’s website: https://www.nedalliance.orgThis is a great resource to start having conversations around death and dying with your loved ones. They offer free guides and conversation prompts to tackle difficult subjects: https://theconversationproject.org

Sarah speaks to her friend Shaina - one of nine siblings, who was born and raised in the Chabad Chassidic Orthodox Jewish world of Brooklyn, New York. Shaina educates Sarah about what it was like for her growing up Orthodox and shares about some of the history and practices of the Chabad Chassidic community. Shaina shares her experience with sex education (or lack thereof), religion, and ultimately her journey with self and belief. Shaina is a licensed social worker in New York State and California. Today, Shaina is a practicing San Francisco and Oakland therapist who works with couples, adults, teenagers, and children. In her work, Shaina is most passionate about educating, and empowering teenagers and children about all things related to body safety and healthy sexuality. In her spare time Shaina can be found singing to Chassidic music, swimming, dreaming of her nieces and nephews, or playing with her puppy, Sivan. Shaina currently resides in San Francisco with her partner. Resources: Footsteps, https://footstepsorg.org/Footsteps is the only organization in the United States providing comprehensive services to people who have chosen to leave their ultra-Orthodox communities and begin new lives. Based in New York, Footsteps provides a range of services, including social and emotional support, educational and career guidance, workshops and social activities, and access to resources. Thanks to Footsteps, former ultra-Orthodox Jews have a safe, supportive, and flourishing community to turn to as they work to define their own identities, build new connections, and lead productive lives on their own terms.Find me at @psychandthecitybk on instagram; Twitter: @psychndthecity

Sarah speaks with Saniyyah fellow sex educator, harm reductionist, abortion doula, and so much more on today's episode. Niyyah works as an abortion doula and shares some of what their experience has been like as someone who helps support folks dealing with the loss of planned and spontaneous abortions. The second part of the episode, Niyyah and Sarah discuss polyamory, and Niyyah's practice as a solo polyamorist. Niyyah shares some of the most important lessons they've learned through their life and work. Resources and Where to Learn More: Where to Find Niyyah: Instagram: @ heauxonthegeauxTwitter: @ heauxgeauxWebsite: heauxonthegeaux.nethttps://www.plancpills.org/@nycforabortionrights@plancpillsABORTION IN THE US: REALITIES, LAWS & HEALING is a course created by Dr. Bianca Laureano and is the most comprehensive course I've seen and taken on abortion. I highly recommend all of Dr. Bianca Laureano's courses: https://www.anteuppd.com/abortion/Post Abortion Syndrome: A Kero, U Hogberg, A Lalos (2004). Wellbeing and Mental Growth Long-term Effects of Legal Abortion, Social Science & Medicine, volume 58, issue 12, pages 2559-2569. https://prochoice.org/patients/abortion-what-to-expect/

Sarah speaks with Jessica Fern, psychotherapist and author of Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consenual Nonmonogamy, about...yup, you guessed it - attachment, trauma, and nonmonogamy. Jessica shares about the different dimensions of attachment and how our styles can show up in all areas of life - not just romantic relationships. Sarah and Jessica also talk trauma - particularly the nested model of trauma that Jessica developed. Finally, Jessica shares specifics about what we can do to cultivate secure attachment in our relationships. It has to be said, Polysecure was one of my favorite reads of the year. I refer to it often. Resources: www.JessicaFern.comPolysecure