First Responder Wellness Podcast with Conrad Weaver

Content advisory: This episode includes discussion of suicide, substance use, and traumatic experiences. If you or someone you know is in crisis in the United States, call or text 988 for support.   156 - The Undercover Cop with a Death Wish: Trauma, PTSD, and the Road Back What happens when a police officer stops caring whether he lives or dies? Todd Maguire spent 27 years with the Queensland Police Service in Australia, including two years operating undercover among dangerous criminal organizations. But behind the high-risk assignments, drug deals, and encounters with armed criminals was a man struggling with devastating personal trauma. Early in his policing career, Todd discovered that his partner had died by suicide. The tragedy sent him into years of grief, substance abuse, anger, and self-destructive behavior. Rather than confront the pain, he buried himself in one of the most dangerous assignments in law enforcement. In this deeply personal conversation with host Conrad Weaver, Todd shares how unresolved trauma influenced his decisions, why returning to ordinary police work after undercover operations was so difficult, and how years of emotional suppression affected his family and his health. He also explains how writing his memoir, Donny: An Undercover Cop with a Deathwish, became a turning point in his recovery—and why he now believes that vulnerability and openness are signs of strength. In this episode: How personal trauma can influence risk-taking and decision-making The psychological toll of undercover policing Why first responders sometimes hide their struggles for decades The fear of seeking help and its perceived impact on career advancement How trauma affects families, relationships, and sleep The role of storytelling, connection, and vulnerability in recovery Why being strong and silent isn't always being strong Learn more about Todd: https://www.toddmaguire.com.au   +++++ Join the First Responder Leadership & Wellness Summit: November 19, 2026, Mount Airy, Maryland. Registration closes November 13. https://firstresponderwellness.co/frederick/   Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/ Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact [email protected] Web site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.

Episode 155: Burned Out - The Hidden Cost of Being a First Responder with Iris Waichler   Guest: Iris Waichler, MSW | Author of Burned Out What happens when first responders leave the emergency behind—but the emotional weight follows them home? First responders spend their careers helping people through some of life's most difficult moments. But the cumulative impact of trauma, stress, and emotional exhaustion doesn't disappear at the end of a shift. It can affect their mental health, their relationships, and the families who support them. In this episode of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, Conrad Weaver sits down with Iris Waichler, a medical social worker with 40 years of experience and the award-winning author of four nonfiction books. Her latest book, Burned Out, explores the often-overlooked impact of first responder trauma through firsthand interviews with firefighters, paramedics, EMTs, and their families. Together, Conrad and Iris explore the differences between PTSD and moral injury, the culture of silence that can prevent first responders from seeking help, and practical ways to address burnout, compassion fatigue, and the challenges of balancing public service with family life. In this episode, you'll discover: How PTSD and moral injury differ and why understanding both matters. Why organizational culture and leadership can contribute to emotional distress—or become part of the solution. How compassion fatigue and cumulative trauma affect first responders. Why first responders should recognize themselves as caregivers who also need care. Practical strategies for managing stress, including peer support, physical activity, communication, and self-care. How spouses and family members can better understand and support their first responder loved ones. Why asking for help is a sign of self-awareness, not weakness. One important takeaway: You cannot continually care for others while ignoring your own well-being. Taking care of yourself is essential to taking care of the people who depend on you. About our guest Iris Waichler, MSW, is an award-winning nonfiction author and a medical social worker with 40 years of experience. She has written extensively about healthcare, caregiving, and the challenges facing individuals and families. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Good Housekeeping, and Next Avenue. Her newest book, Burned Out, examines the impact of trauma on first responders and their families and offers guidance for coping and recovery. Learn more about Iris and her book: https://burnedoutbook.com Join us in Frederick, Maryland The First Responder Leadership & Wellness Summit is November 19, 2026. Join us for a full day of leadership development, wellness education, and practical strategies for creating healthier first responder organizations. Register: https://firstresponderwellness.co/frederick/ Presented by PTSD911 and First Responder Wellness Solutions. Hosted by Conrad Weaver.   +++++ Join us in Frederick, MD for the Leadership & Wellness Summit Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/ Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact [email protected] Web site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.

First Responders Need Help. Congress Is Listening. Guest: Congressman Suhas Subramanyam | First Responder Wellness Podcast What happens when a first responder finally reaches out for help — only to discover there's nobody available? For many firefighters, law enforcement officers, EMS professionals, and 9-1-1 dispatchers, access to appropriate mental health resources remains a serious challenge. And in small, rural departments, those resources may be almost nonexistent. In this episode, filmmaker and host Conrad Weaver sits down with Congressman Suhas Subramanyam of Virginia's 10th Congressional District to discuss two bipartisan legislative proposals aimed at addressing those gaps. Drawing on his experience as a former volunteer firefighter and conversations with first responders, Congressman Subramanyam explains how the Peer Support for Our First Responders Act and the First Responder Behavioral Health Access Act seek to strengthen peer support programs and expand access to behavioral health professionals. What you'll learn Why peer-to-peer support is an important part of first responder wellness. How federal grant opportunities could help departments expand access to behavioral health services. Why telehealth could be especially valuable to small and rural agencies. Why 9-1-1 dispatchers deserve recognition and appropriate mental health resources. How a proposed three-year pilot program could help evaluate results before broader expansion. Why bipartisan cooperation matters when addressing first responder mental health. What first responders and agency leaders can do to advocate for these proposals. Episode highlights 00:30 — Why Congressman Subramanyam became involved in first responder mental health legislation. 01:25 — Two proposed approaches: peer support and access to behavioral health professionals. 02:32 — Could federal resources reach small, rural departments? 03:51 — Lessons from his experience as a volunteer firefighter and the importance of including dispatchers. 05:05 — The proposed three-year pilot program and evaluating results. 05:45 — Why shared experiences make peer support powerful. 06:22 — The congressman's previous work on legislation supporting 9-1-1 operators. 07:24 — Building bipartisan support around solutions informed by first responders. 08:14 — Where the legislation stands and the next steps. 08:36 — A potential PTSD911 screening on Capitol Hill. 09:41 — A direct call for first responders to contact their representatives. Two bills worth knowing about Peer Support for Our First Responders Act: Intended to strengthen peer-to-peer support for first responders. First Responder Behavioral Health Access Act: Intended to improve access to behavioral health professionals through expanded grant opportunities. At the time of the interview, the legislation had been introduced but had not passed Congress. Take action Congressman Subramanyam encourages first responders to contact their members of Congress and make first responder mental health a legislative priority. Find your representative: https://www.house.gov/representatives/find-your-representative Learn more about the documentary PTSD911: https://ptsd911.com Because taking care of the people who protect our communities should never be a partisan issue.   +++++ Join us in Frederick, MD for the Leadership & Wellness Summit Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/ Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact [email protected] Web site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.

Register HERE for the Leadership & Wellness Summit in Frederick, MD, Nov. 19!   154 - Stop Waiting until they Break - Matt Newlands What if we trained first responders for the mental and emotional demands of the job with the same intentionality we use to train them for firearms, tactics, investigations, or emergency response? That’s the question at the center of this conversation with Matt Newlands, a former South Australia Police officer and co-founder of Frontline Mental Health. Matt spent ten years in frontline policing before leaving the profession while dealing with PTSD and depression. But this conversation isn't simply about what happened to Matt. It's about what agencies and leaders can do differently so first responders have the tools they need before they reach a crisis. Matt makes the case for moving wellness “upstream”—giving first responders practical mental-health literacy, healthy coping strategies, peer connection, and resources before they need them. We also explore post-traumatic growth and the idea that difficult experiences don't automatically have to result in permanent damage. Growth doesn't mean pretending trauma was good or rushing someone to find a silver lining. It means recognizing that, with the right support and intentional work, people can develop greater strength, deeper relationships, renewed purpose, and a greater appreciation for life. In this episode: • Why mental-health training should begin at the academy • The warning signs Matt wishes he'd recognized earlier • Why first responders need a “deployable” wellness skill set • The role of peer connection in recovery • Why routine, sleep, movement, and relationships matter • What post-traumatic growth actually means • Why growth should never be used to glorify trauma • The danger of stripping struggling employees of agency and control • What Australian agencies can learn from U.S. agencies • Why leadership buy-in is essential to changing first responder culture • How purpose can become an important component of recovery • Why honest conversations need to happen at every rank One of Matt's central messages is simple: We shouldn't wait until someone is struggling to teach them how to struggle well. The future of first responder wellness begins long before the crisis. Connect with Matt: https://frontlinemh.com.au/   +++++ Join us in Frederick, MD for the Leadership & Wellness Summit Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/ Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact [email protected] Web site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.

153 - When your Job Becomes your Identity - Rachael Stark What happens when you're performing well at work—but you're not actually doing well? Rachael Stark knows that tension firsthand. Rachael is a captain in the Army National Guard, a reserve police officer, works in policy and accreditation for a police department, and previously served as a forensic death investigator. On paper, she was successful, productive, and helping people. But underneath it all, work had slowly become her identity. She was thinking about work constantly. Dreaming about it. Carrying scenes home with her. And like many first responders, she convinced herself it was simply part of the job. In this episode of the First Responder Wellness Podcast, Rachael joins Conrad Weaver for an honest conversation about what wellness looks like before someone reaches a crisis point. They discuss the danger of confusing productivity with health, why first responders can become addicted to being needed, and how seemingly small practices—therapy, hobbies, exercise, friendships, creative outlets, and simply creating space to decompress—can help someone remain a whole person. They also dig into the responsibility of leadership. It's not enough for an agency to put an EAP number on the wall. Leaders have to model the behaviors they want their people to embrace. That means checking in, listening, creating psychological safety, acknowledging that difficult calls affect us, and demonstrating that seeking support isn't a sign of weakness. In this episode: Why being high-functioning doesn't necessarily mean you're healthy What happens when the job becomes your entire identity The warning signs Rachael initially dismissed Why she unexpectedly picked up the violin The difference between having wellness resources and creating a wellness culture Why leaders need to model healthy behavior How supervisors can build trust with their people A better way to check in than simply asking, "How are you?" Why staying constantly busy can become a form of avoidance The individual's responsibility for proactive wellness How small changes can help first responders remain whole Why Rachael believes "wellness is not weakness" Rachael's message to leaders is simple: If you want a team that's ready for the next emergency, you need people who feel safe in their environment, safe enough to be honest, and connected to an identity beyond the job. And for the first responder who isn't in crisis but knows something isn't quite right—you don't necessarily need to completely change your life. Sometimes you simply need to start making room for one outside the job. Connect with Rachael: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachael-stark-ab14b21a7/   +++++ Join us in Frederick, MD for the Leadership & Wellness Summit Order the PTSD911 Film and Educational Toolkit here: https://ptsd911movie.com/toolkit/ Book a PTSD911 screening event: contact [email protected] Web site:  https://ptsd911movie.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ptsd911movie/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ptsd911movie/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClQ8jxjxYqHgFQixBK4Bl0Q Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/first-responder-wellness-podcast/id1535675703 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2wW72dLZOKkO1QYUPzL2ih The First Responder Wellness Podcast is a production of First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC Copyright ©2026 First Responder Wellness Solutions, LLC - All rights Reserved.