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Welcome to In Kind, a show about self and other empathy. Hear actionable advice from experts around cleaning up your self-talk, aiming for imperfection, and the importance of releasing emotions. In some episodes, I guide anonymous guests through the release something they've held inside for years . Recognizing how similar we are as emotional beings produces profound healing, closure, movement and motivation. Benefits apply to all relationships - life, work, and most importantly the one with yourself. Feel free to contact me julie@lightinguprooms.com
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Have you ever tried to get rid of things that someone else gave you? A piece of furniture. Or someone's favorite dishes or ring or artwork. These things carry emotional and energetic weight! This episode packages the most amazing, simple tactics on how to release these things from your life and not only lose the guilt, but gain energy and aliveness in the process! All brought to you eloquently and with a bit of cheek, by Cynthia - a downsizing pro who's learned to show herself and her t...
Perfectionism got you in its grips? My hand's up! And it's all of us to some extent - in fact this one's born from popular request. But what if we did the opposite? When we aim for imperfection, we get an immediate energy shift and a freedom like no other. This episode is a tactical one to help you approach situations, people and tasks differently. And it's another way to show yourself some empathy and compassion. Do it. Try it. And Enjoy! SHOW NOTES: Marie Forleo - Everything is Figureout...
Where are we in 2021 on definitions of masculinity? Is there any difference between how men and women 'do' emotional release? Today I'm talking with Boysen Hodgson from the Mankind Project, an international men's community. They train men to be vulnerable, self-empathic and self-reflective. They're normalizing the emotionally intelligent man. We cover everything from 80s movies to women's reactions to men who 'overshare.' This is for anyone who has a man in their life - brother, son, father, ...
What do you do when you believe you're not good enough in ANY aspect of your life? Evan is here to tell you that you're not alone. He shares tons of tactics and practices that have helped him move through suicidal ideation, financial crisis, acceptance of an invalidating father, the death of a stillborn child, addiction, depression and anxiety. Though he still feels the uphill slog of succeeding in his obligations and desires, this is one refreshingly grounded human. Enjoy. SHOW NOTES...
In this episode you’ll learn that we all have an entire family interacting inside of us! They are called parts. None of them are bad, and we can learn to become the leader and healer of our Self. Harvard Medical School Psychiatrist, founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) psychotherapy, and author Dr. Richard Schwartz has decades of evidence to prove that human nature is inherently good. You’ll see how quickly you can access your parts, and develop empathy for them and the roles they p...
Being a beginner happens ALL the time, whether you're 5 or 95! Beginnings are things like speaking up at a meeting, asking someone on a date, learning how to use new technology, becoming a parent and grieving the loss of a parent. We experience things with a degree of newness any time we don't feel like an expert - which means most of the time! We may feel 100% confident speaking with our team colleagues, and the opposite asking a question in a painting class. Context matters. Learning to be ...
This is so common! We've lost touch with our intrinsic value and we look to others to assign value to us. Tessie talks about her own experience of how this fallacy developed, how it can turn into physical illness and depression, and - drum roll... - how the cycle can be broken. She has a few strong tactics to share that anyone can try right now. Wouldn't it be nice to live by your own standards instead of someone else's? There's so much to learn from Tessie. SHOW NOTES: The Gift...
Today I'm celebrating In Kind's first birthday by reflecting on what I've learned about myself and humanity in the last year. I talk about experimenting with another form of letting go, specifically time. I've been experiencing 'time-free' days lately, and it's been insanely liberating! It's hard to express the depth of my gratitude for the guests, experts and listeners who've been bold enough to have meaningful conversations with me. Thank you for your courage, candor, support, feedbac...
Neurotheology? That's not a word you hear often. It's an emerging field that studies what's happening in the brain when people are in deep spiritual practice. We know that the more we use certain neural pathways the stronger they get...but studies using brain imaging show that prayer, meditation, mindfulness, and affirmations can change our wiring. It takes awareness and practice. Dr. Newberg says our conscious selves need to help our unconscious brain to shift - it’s a partnership. He ...
What do you do every day that lights you up? What pulls you down? If you're like me, you probably have meager accurate awareness of how you actually spend your hours. Instead of focusing on what we failed to do this year, and making the same promises (aka resolutions) next year, we'll look at who we became over the the last twelve months. They key to that is to decide how each of our daily actions makes us feel, and to do more of the ones that make us feel most alive. However 2020 treated you...
Have you answered the question from last episode - what ratio of who you are is of your own design? Think about it as you listen to J reform her identity in her 30s. She gives us lots of golden nugget resources and tools for anyone - cult or no cult - to learn how to love and empower ourselves. Now...for the escape! SHOW NOTES Workshops on Relational Power Take the Risk by Ben Carson Article on recognizing signs of incomplete grief More about J and her escape - Tomorrow’s Not Promised ...
‘Worldlies’ is what the cult calls those who live on the outside. Never feeling like she fit in, and unable to express herself, J erased her identity to survive into her 30s. In Part I, we get into her self-talk, how she developed a fear of being the other woman in her relationships and what it took to finally escape. Having no idea how to live apart from the cult, J’s ability to develop her adult self with empathy and compassion is astounding. [Part II drops next Tuesday] Show Notes To lea...
Did you know that empathy is a learnable communication skill? It's not a personality trait - something we either have in spades or are void of. To understand and practice meaningful [actionable] empathy, some fog must be lifted. Definitions, semantics and misperceptions of the word have caused confusion and I clear them up today. With a few foundational pieces in place, you'll soon see that empathy isn't only about feelings. It's a powerful compassion tool that you can wield for yourself and ...
What would happen if we abandoned the pursuit of happiness, in favor of joy? How are they so different? Artist, author and death row inmate George first came on the show to let go of perfectionism, but we pivoted in the last 60 seconds of our call when he said, "I'm happier now than I've ever been in my life." I asked for elaboration, and received an impassioned essay two weeks in the making titled, The Joy Paradox. In this interview we highlight a few of the aha's, illuminating self an...
Do you recognize when you talk to yourself? If I asked you in a crowded room to raise your hand if you believe you are empathic... would you hesitate? This episode is about the relationship between how you talk to yourself and your capacity for empathy [hint: they are mates for life], and how to get better at both. Nobody is born empathic and we certainly aren't taught to speak to ourselves with loving kindness. But these are learnable communication skills just like any other. When you develo...
Perfect timing for this episode. Kate is a deep thinker and a spiritual light. But this was hard-won. Her paranormal encounter was invalidated, and having her truth dismissed became a theme in her life - one that landed her three months in a psych hospital, death threats from angry blog followers, and ultimately her path to a new life as a spiritual healer. If you've been misunderstood (who hasn't?) there's a lot to learn from Kate. And don't miss the intro to shadow work towards the end - I'...
Calling out comparison today and exposing it for what it is - an energy-stealing force that has no seat at the empathy table. It’s a Harry Potter boggart-style beast that's fond of bursting out and putting us face to face with our greatest fears. On my path to formalize the construct into a book, I thought it would be useful for you to learn along with me. We ALL spar with comparison but there are ways to wrangle it back into the trunk. This is part one of an ongoing series - much to unpack. ...
Minnie grew up in what she calls a hostile environment, with narcissistic parents incapable of creating a safe or nurturing home. She spent years longing for her mother to take care of her, instead of the other way around. Along the way she learned many techniques to retain her self-worth and to live a happy life. This episode is intensely painful, and a reminder that we are born with an equal chance to have our basic needs met - safety, shelter, love. When one or more is compromised, it’s an...
Do you know what your hidden wisdom is? Most of us don't. Jeremy is a self-described introverted communicator. Although he's built and sold several businesses, he works with major anxiety around public speaking and being a strong communicator even among peers in the entrepreneurial world. By leaning into his fears and edges, he found a way not only to work on these skills, but to do it while maintaining his soft spoken personality. He didn't become someone else in the process. Instead, he fou...
1Have you ever stopped to listen to the things you say to yourself? Out loud or in our heads, we hear thousands of messages a day and sadly - most of them are hurtful and keep us stuck in our limiting beliefs. Self-talk is one of the main topics on In Kind, and changing it is one of the most powerful things you can do to improve your life. Today you can learn from Dr. Shad, the leading author on self-talk. There are some serious a-ha's in this one. Enjoy and tweet me what you're trying @juliei...
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