The Autism Mom Coach

This week on The Autism Mom Coach, I’m talking about the recent announcement linking Tylenol use during pregnancy to autism—and the harmful recommendation for moms to “tough it out.”👉 If you’ve ever blamed yourself for your child’s autism…👉 If you’ve felt judged for your parenting choices…👉 If you’re tired of hearing that moms are at fault…This episode is for you.As autism moms, we are already toughing it out every single day—navigating therapies, schools, meltdowns, doctors, and the constant undercurrent of guilt and shame. The last thing we need is another message telling us we’re to blame.Inside this episode, I share:Why blaming moms for autism is nothing new (hello, “refrigerator mom” theory).The impact these narratives have on our mental health.Why autism is not your fault—and how to remind yourself of that truth.How to stop internalizing guilt and start having your own back.💬 Whether you’re frustrated, angry, or just exhausted from toughing it out, this conversation will give you validation and support.FREE OPEN COACHING CALL FOR AUTISM MOMS / Thursday, September 25 @ 6PM EST.Feeling frustrated, exhausted, or tired of toughing it out on your own? I’m hosting a free open coaching call where you can get support, share your story, and connect with other autism moms.📩 To get the link to join the call, register HERE.Once you’re on the list, I’ll send you the Zoom link and details.💡 Work with MePodcasts give you aha moments, but real change happens when you apply these tools in your own life. That’s what we do inside my 1:1 coaching program—helping you regulate your emotions, release the guilt, and show up as the mom you want to be.📅 Schedule your consultation here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/work-with-me

How much of your child’s autism diagnosis do you share with other people? Some autism moms share openly on social media, while others share only when it feels necessary. In this episode of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, I give you a simple 3-part framework to help you decide what feels right for you.This is a question autism parents face often:Do I explain my child’s meltdowns or behaviors so others understand?Should I tell neighbors or teachers more to support safety?Can sharing help me feel less alone and more connected?In this episode, I walk you through the three principles I use when deciding what to share and with whom: Clarity, Care, and Connection.What You’ll Learn in This Episode✅ Why there’s no “right” or “wrong” amount to share about your child’s diagnosis✅ How this information can help others understand your child’s behaviors✅ When sharing is important for your child’s safety and care✅ How sharing can build connection and reduce isolation for autism moms

You’ve probably heard the phrase “spilling the tea” when it comes to gossip. But here’s the thing: we all have our own kind of “tea” — the stories we tell ourselves in our heads. And most of the time, those stories are stressful, judgmental, and downright exhausting.In this episode of The Autism Mom Coach, is a light-hearted take on what it means to clock the tea you are serving yourself and why it is the key to interrupting the stories that are keeping you in a chronic state of stress and self doubt.What I cover in this episode:Why your brain creates these “tea” stories in the first place.The difference between thoughts that feel true and actual facts.How believing your own negative commentary keeps you stuck in guilt, shame, and self-doubt.Real stories from me and my clients of learning to pause and “clock it.”A quick process you can use to catch yourself in the moment.Here’s the truth: your brain will keep serving tea. But when you learn to clock it, you stop letting those stories run your life. You create a little bit of space between the thought and your reaction — and that’s where your power lives.Want to go deeper?If you’re tired of your thoughts running the show during meltdowns, grab my free guide: The Autism Mom’s Meltdown Plan.And if you want help putting this into practice, you can schedule a consult with me here: https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me/.

Episode 176: The Fear of What’s NextIn this week’s episode, I’m sharing a personal update as my son turns 18 and we navigate the realities of conservatorship, independence, and what the future holds. It’s bittersweet, and it has me reflecting on the very real fears autism parents carry about what comes next for our children.To support you in this, I’m replaying an earlier episode on anticipatory anxiety—the fear of what might happen in the future, and how it drains us without preparing us. You’ll hear a client story, practical tools for calming your nervous system, and why staying grounded matters more than trying to control the uncontrollable.What you’ll learn in this episode:Why anticipatory anxiety is so common for autism parentsHow fear of the future shows up in your body and your energyA real-life example of a mom preparing for her child’s blood workPractical tools for calming your nervous system before stressful eventsWhy accepting “hard” as part of the journey can actually bring reliefIf you’ve ever caught yourself bracing, white-knuckling, or walking on eggshells about what’s ahead—this episode is for you.

After a summer break, I’m back with a fresh perspective — and a pep talk to help you head into the new school year with more calm and confidence.Whether your summer was packed with activities or you let the schedule breathe a little, there’s value in what you did — and what you didn’t do. Resting is work, and sometimes it’s the most productive thing we can do for ourselves and our kids.In this episode, I share:How to reframe school disruptions, refusals, and hiccups as information instead of failuresThe mindset shift that has helped me (and my clients) ride the roller coaster of a school year without bracing for the worstThe SINGLE reminder I want you to keep front of mind when things feel overwhelming.I’ll also tell you how to get my Back-to-School Guide — 7 tips I’ve used myself and shared with clients to set them up for a smoother transition.

All-or-nothing thinking, or being rigid, is generally defined by pairs of opposites. So, maybe you’re thinking of someone or something as simply good or bad, working or not working. But it can also show up as thinking there are only two choices available in a situation. And this comes up in so many areas of our lives.While cognitive rigidity is a characteristic of Autism, it is also alive and well in all of us to some degree. In fact, as parents, the more stressful our lives become, the more we tend to rely on the safety of all-or-nothing thinking, becoming more rigid as a result of this thought process. So, what can we do about it?Tune in this week to discover where rigid all-or-nothing thinking is impacting your parenting, and what you can do to manage it. I’m sharing why our brains love this way of processing the world around us, and I’m showing you how to see the thoughts that are leading you down the path of this either-or mindset.What You’ll Learn from this Episode:Why all-or-nothing thinking is a default for all human beings.How this cognitive rigidity might be showing up in your life right now.The thought patterns that lead to all-or-nothing thinking.What you can do to manage your mind when you find yourself stuck in all-or-nothing thinking.

To the untrained or inexperienced eye, tantrums and meltdowns usually look very much the same. If something looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, you are going to conclude it’s a duck. But when it comes to tantrums and meltdowns, this isn’t the case.Although tantrums and meltdowns may look similar, they are actually very different. However, the fact that they appear similar can create a lot of misunderstanding and suffering for us as moms of children with Autism. So how can you tell whether your child is having a tantrum or a meltdown, and how do you deal with them appropriately while being conscious of other people’s opinions? That’s what I’m teaching you in this week’s episode. In this episode, I share the similarities and differences between tantrums and meltdowns, help you normalize the experience of an Autism meltdown, and assist you in dealing with individuals who may not understand. Discover how to think about and respond to the different behaviors your child exhibits, some of the thoughts that may come up when your child is having a tantrum or a meltdown, and how to use what I’m teaching you this week to be an ambassador for parents of a child with Autism. Summer is the perfect time to start coaching with me! We can transform how you show up to your experience of parenting a child with Autism, and equip you with the tools you need to best support yourself no matter what is happening. If you’re interested in changing the trajectory of your summer right now, click here to schedule a consult.What You’ll Learn from this Episode:Some of the typical behaviors that appear in both tantrums and meltdowns.Why a meltdown is not a teachable moment.How to deal with Autism meltdowns in a way that helps both you and your child. Why so many people associate screaming, yelling, and uncooperative behavior with a bad kid, or a bad parent. How to tune out other people’s opinions of your child’s meltdown.

You’ve heard the phrase “make the most of summer.” But for autism moms, this often translates into do more work with less support and zero downtime.In this episode, I’m sharing my own journey of how I used to treat summer like a catch-up bootcamp for my son—drills, flashcards, workbooks, and more. I explain how this approach, fueled by fear of regression and pressure to “keep up,” ended in stress, dysregulation, and disappointment for both of us.You’ll hear:The hidden anxiety behind “making the most” of summerHow fear of regression can sabotage your best intentionsWhat to do instead: setting small, achievable goalsTips for engaging your child without turning your home into a summer schoolWhy your energy matters more than any worksheetIf you’re bracing yourself for the summer months, this episode will help you rethink your expectations and shift into a mindset that supports both your child’s growth and your well-being.Resources:Schedule a consultation: https://theautismmomcoach.com

In this week’s pre-Father’s Day episode, I am bringing you my conversation with Rob Gorski, otherwise known as The Autism Dad.Rob discusses his experience of navigating solo parenting three boys on the Autism spectrum.In this episode, you will learn:The biggest problems that dads of children with Autism face.Rob’s philosophy of doing your best and knowing that’s always enough.Some of the challenges posed by our kids with Autism transitioning into adulthood.And so much more. Tune in now & soak up Rob’s pearls of wisdom.

In this episode, we dive into the realities of creating summer plans for an autistic child. I share a personal story about navigating summer camp schedules, extended school year (ESY) services, and the curveballs that come with being an autism mom. This story reminds us that autism parenting requires constant adjustment. And that even when things go sideways, we always find a way to make it work..Summer Plans for an Autistic Child --What You’ll Learn in This Episode:✅ How to prepare for the unpredictable summer shift as an autism family.✅ Why it’s essential to build flexibility into summer plans for an autistic child.✅ How coaching can help you manage stress, pivot, and support your child effectively.Key Takeaways:Creating summer plans for an autistic child can be an overwhelming time for autism parents, with ESY schedules, camps, and co-parenting logistics creating complex routines.No matter how well you plan, unexpected issues (like sudden childcare changes or unexpected home visits) can derail your plans.Flexibility and resilience are essential tools for autism parents to navigate summer challenges with confidence.Tune in now!P.S.  Feeling overwhelmed?Download my free Meltdown Action Plan (MAP).P.P.S. Want to learn more about my coaching program?Book a consultation call to explore how we can work together to support your child and your family.

In Episode 169 of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, Lisa Candera—a lawyer, life coach, and autism mom—explores the concept of expertise in autism parenting and why you are the expert on your child. Using the example of the Karen Read retrial, Lisa explains that expertise isn’t just about degrees and certifications. It’s about lived experience and practical knowledge.This powerful concept applies directly to autism parenting. Parents of autistic children accumulate valuable, practical knowledge through years of firsthand care. These parents are uniquely positioned to understand their child’s needs, behaviors, and challenges.Key Takeaways:What the Karen Read retrial reveals about the meaning of expertise.The difference between credentials and real-world experience.Why you are the expert on your autistic child.How to trust your instincts and build confidence in parenting.Whether you’re navigating IEPs, therapy options, medical decisions, or everyday challenges, this episode will help you trust your own expertise.Timestamps00:00 – Introduction to The Autism Mom Coach00:41 – A True Crime Obsession01:50 – The Battle of the Experts03:22 – Credentials vs. Experience -- You've Done Your 10,000 hours04:53 – You Are the Expert on Your Child06:17 – Trust Yourself as a Parent07:59 – Conclusion and Next StepsListen NowYou can listen to this episode on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast platform.👉 Visit The Autism Mom Coach to learn more and connect with Lisa.

The Meltdown Action Plan -- Download it Here: https://mailchi.mp/theautismmomcoach.com/mapAutism meltdowns are intense, overwhelming, and often misunderstood—not just for the child, but for the parent as well. In Episode 168 of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, Lisa Candera shares a groundbreaking, trauma-informed tool designed specifically for autism moms who feel frozen, reactive, or helpless during their child’s dysregulation.Introducing the Meltdown Action Plan—a step-by-step, easy-to-follow framework that gives parents the tools and structure they need to stay calm and take purposeful action during meltdowns.Drawing on her personal experience as a solo parent to a teen with autism and her work with hundreds of coaching clients, Lisa explains how to shift from crisis-driven reactions to empowered parenting with her signature MAP Method:Meltdown PrepAction DuringPost-Meltdown RecoveryThis episode is a must-listen for every autism parent who’s ever thought:“I don’t know what to do during a meltdown.” “Why can't my autistic child just calm down?.” “Why is this still happening?”Lisa answers those questions—and more—while offering hope, clarity, and a plan.🎁 Download the Free Meltdown Action PlanLisa’s new resource includes: ✅ The 3 phases of the MAP Method ✅ Fill-in-the-blank worksheets ✅ Real-life examples from autism moms ✅ Guided prompts to help you regulate yourself before, during, and after a meltdown👉 Get it here: https://mailchi.mp/theautismmomcoach.com/map 📅 Ready for personal support? Book a free consultation with Lisa here: https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me/⏱️ Timestamps for This Episode:00:00 – Introduction to Episode 168 00:23 – Why Lisa Created the Meltdown Action Plan 01:35 – The Real Problem With Meltdowns (Hint: It’s Not Just the Behavior) 03:27 – What Is the MAP Method? 03:55 – Phase One: Meltdown Preparation 04:28 – Phase Two: Action During a Meltdown 05:07 – Phase Three: Post-Meltdown Recovery 06:01 – What’s Inside the Free Download 06:30 – Final Thoughts and Invitation to Work With Lisa💡 What Parents Will Learn:Why trying to “fix” meltdowns often makes them worseThe difference between reacting vs. respondingWhat meltdowns signal about your child’s nervous systemThe single shift that helped Lisa stop dreading meltdowns and start preparing for themHow Lisa helps clients create personalized meltdown action plans that actually workThis Episode Is For: Autism moms who want a clear, repeatable plan for handling autism meltdowns with more skill and compassion -- for their child and themselves.About Lisa Candera: Lisa Candera is a solo mom to a teen with severe autism and significant aggression. She’s a certified life coach and the creator of The Autism Mom Coach, a coaching program designed to help autism moms regulate their emotions, reduce burnout, and become confident leaders in their homes. With a background in law and over 40 years of lived experience with autism, Lisa brings a unique blend of strategy, science, and soul to every episode.👉 If this episode resonates with you: ✔️ Subscribe ✔️ Share with another autism parent who needs a plan that works

 In Episode 167 of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, Lisa Candera—a lawyer, life coach, and solo mom to a teenager with autism—tackles one of the most emotionally loaded questions for autism parents: Should I push my child out of their comfort zone or give them more support?Using a real-life story from a coaching client, Lisa explains: ✅ Why there's no perfect moment to act ✅ How to treat parenting decisions like experiments ✅ What “friction” actually means in your child’s growth ✅ How to move forward even when things don’t go perfectly ✅ And why sometimes... you have to break some chairs🎧 This episode is a must-listen if you're stuck in second-guessing or afraid of doing too much (or too little) for your child.🕒 Timestamps / Chapters:00:00 – Introduction 00:38 – Follow-up from Last Week 01:13 – Real-Life Moments That Raise the Question 02:20 – The Goldilocks Myth of “Perfect Timing” 03:35 – Coaching Story: Rachel’s School Bus Decision 05:08 – Reframing the Outcome 06:00 – Growth = Try, Monitor, Evaluate, Calibrate 06:52 – Final Thoughts + Coaching Invitation

In this episode, autism coach and solo parent Lisa Candera—also known as The Autism Mom Coach—breaks down a question nearly every autism parent wrestles with:Am I expecting too much or not enough from my child with autism?Through a real-life story from one of her private coaching clients, Lisa illustrates the emotional push-pull autism moms face when deciding whether to stretch their child or simply let them enjoy the moment. She explores the hidden fear that often drives the urge to do more, and how that fear can overshadow meaningful progress.Whether you’re feeling pressure to push your child, second-guessing your parenting, or simply wondering what the right amount of expectation looks like—this episode will help you slow down, reflect, and lead with confidence.🧠 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Why “Am I doing too much or not enough?” is the wrong questionHow fear of falling behind drives panic parentingWhy your child’s success doesn’t mean it’s time to push harderThe power of parenting from curiosity instead of fearWhy every win doesn’t need to become a stepping stone✨ About Lisa Candera:Lisa Candera is a solo mom, attorney, and certified life coach for autism moms. Through 1:1 coaching, she helps parents regulate their emotions, reduce stress, and support their children with clarity and confidence—even during meltdowns.🔗 Learn More & Connect:📅 Book a free consultation with Lisa:https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me/🌐 Website:https://theautismmomcoach.com🎙 Listen to the podcast:https://theautismmomcoach.com/podcast📸 Follow Lisa on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theautismmomcoach

In Episode 165, Lisa Canera examines "the space between" - the developmental gap parents observe between their autistic children and neurotypical peers. Drawing from her experience with her teenage son Ben and insights from her coaching practice, Lisa offers practical guidance on responding effectively when this gap becomes more apparent. She provides a balanced perspective on processing emotions rather than defaulting to additional interventions or self-blame.What You'll LearnHow the developmental gap can trigger stress responses in parentsWhy middle school often represents a turning point where social differences become more pronouncedThe counterproductive nature of constantly trying to "catch up" through additional therapiesPractical strategies for pausing before making reactive decisionsHow acknowledging reality creates space for more intentional parenting choicesCase StudiesLisa discusses her son Ben's experience with social skills development as peer interactions became more complex in middle schoolA client's realization when her son's differences became apparent during a track practice that had previously been successfulCommon patterns of parental response when confronted with developmental differencesSpecial AnnouncementLisa currently has two openings in her one-on-one coaching program. This opportunity includes:Personalized coaching tailored to your specific challengesAccess to the group program (only available to current clients and alumni)Support for becoming a calm, confident parent your autistic child needsAbout Your HostLisa Canera is a lawyer, certified life coach, and full-time single mother of a teenager with autism. Her evidence-based approach helps parents navigate the complexities of raising children with autism while maintaining their emotional wellbeing.Take ActionVisit theautismmomcoach.com to schedule your consultation call.

In this quick episode, I share a few thoughts on the recent autism headlines—from the latest prevalence data to RFK Jr.’s controversial comments about autism—and how these moments shine a light on the deeply different experiences within our own community.This is not a political take. It’s a reminder that autism parenting doesn’t look the same for every family—and that true acceptance starts with making space for each other’s stories, even when they differ from our own.🎧 Listen now.Are you ready to get the support you need and deserve as an autism mom? Get started now, by scheduling your complimentary consultation call here: https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me

Discover how to navigate public meltdowns, reduce anxiety, and heal from the trauma of feeling constantly judged.In this episode of The Autism Mom Coach, we unpack the PTSD of being “on display” as the parent of a child with autism. Episode SummaryPublic meltdowns can trigger deep emotional distress for both the child and the parent. Prolonged exposure to judgmental stares, unsolicited advice, and sudden confrontations often leads to anxiety, hypervigilance, and feelings of fear or helplessness. Drawing from real-life events, this episode shines a light on why these experiences stay with us, how our brains respond to perceived threats, and practical ways to build resilience for you and your child.Why You Should ListenIf you’ve ever felt criticized, misunderstood, or singled out in public while managing your child’s meltdown, this episode is for you. Gain trauma-informed insights, real-life examples, and actionable tips to help you cope and heal. By addressing both the emotional and practical aspects of public meltdown stress, you’ll walk away feeling more equipped, supported, and empowered in your parenting journey.Subscribe & Stay ConnectedListen now to Episode 163 of The Autism Mom Coach on your favorite podcast platform.Subscribe so you never miss an episode packed with actionable advice for parenting children with autism.Connect on social media for more autism-friendly strategies, PTSD awareness, and mental health resources.

It’s April—Autism Awareness and Acceptance Month—and today, we’re talking about what autism acceptance really looks like in real life.Have you ever felt like all eyes are on you when you're in public with your child? Whether it’s the school drop-off line, the grocery store, or waiting in line at Chipotle, those moments when your child’s behavior stands out can feel like you’re center stage in a performance you never auditioned for.In this episode, I share my own experience of what it means to be on display as the parent of a child with autism—and how my mindset has shifted from shame and over-apologizing to pride and advocacy.You’ll hear:Why being "on display" used to feel like failure to meWhat changed over time as I redefined what autism acceptance looks likeThe story of a school drop-off panic that left me feeling exposed and mortifiedWhy I stopped apologizing for my child’s autismA powerful moment on an Amtrak train that reminded me what true inclusion looks likeThree practical tips to feel more grounded when you’re “that family”Whether your child is melting down at the playground or wearing a Paw Patrol shirt at 15, these moments are opportunities—not for hiding—but for showing up and modeling what support, advocacy, and love look like in action.Remember: Autism acceptance starts with us.Resources & Links:🎧 Want support navigating these moments in real time?Schedule your complimentary consultation here: https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me/

Have you ever had teachers insist your child is thriving at school, yet at home, they fall apart? This episode explores autism masking—when autistic children hide their natural behaviors to appear neurotypical. Learn why masking happens, the heavy emotional and sensory toll it takes, and practical steps you can take to support your child.In this episode, you'll discover:What autism masking is and the reasons children engage in it, including avoiding bullying, negative consequences, and internalized shame.How masking can mislead educators into thinking your child doesn't need support.Why People Think My Child ISN’T Autistic - The Coke Bottle Effect Explained by autistic advocate Orion Kelly.Key signs your child might be masking, such as drastic behavioral differences between school and home, frequent bathroom breaks, increased stimming, and physical complaints.Work with Me: If you're feeling caught between pushing your child forward and holding back to prevent overwhelm, schedule your complimentary consultation today and let's create a plan to support both you and your child effectively.Book Your Complimentary Consultation HERE. 

My blood boils every time I see it—the IEP trap. It usually shows up as a proud post from an autism parent:“My child is doing so well that the school reduced their IEP support!”Sounds like progress, right? Wrong.The harsh reality is this: a child’s progress is not a reason to remove supports—it’s proof that those supports are working. Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way.In this episode, I’m breaking down: What the IEP trap really is. The real reasons it happens. What you can do to protect your child’s services and mental health.If you’ve ever been told your child’s progress means they don’t need as much help, this episode is for you. Tune in and get the clarity you need to keep advocating for your child’s true needs.Want more support? Book your complimentary consultation call here: https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me/