Connection Codes

What if the real problem isn't being alone, but feeling alone when someone's standing right in front of you?In this powerful conversation, we're diving deep into one of the most misunderstood emotions: loneliness. Dr. Glenn and Phyllis just returned from an incredible journey through Europe, and they're sharing fresh insights about what loneliness actually is, why it's so damaging to our health, and most importantly—what actually helps.Here's what might surprise you: the solution to loneliness isn't being around more people. In fact, you can feel most lonely in a crowded room, at a family dinner, or even lying next to your spouse. This episode will help you understand why relational absence is far more painful than geographical absence, and how the "still face" we give each other—even unintentionally—creates chronic pain that affects our marriages, parenting, and overall wellbeing.You'll hear a jaw-dropping story about a dad who went home from a Connection Codes event and used one simple tool (the "ooh") to transform his child's middle-of-the-night meltdowns from 45 minutes of chaos to 2 minutes of connection. This is the power of being emotionally present instead of just physically present.Key Topics:- Why loneliness is more damaging to your health than smoking a pack of cigarettes a day- The difference between geographical absence and relational absence- How the "still face experiment" reveals what we're all experiencing in our relationships- Why going to a hotel alone can feel better than being home with your family- The chronic loneliness of modern parenting and partnership- How to identify loneliness when it's hiding beneath anger and frustration- What your brain actually needs when loneliness fires (hint: it's not a crowd)- Practical tools to move from isolation to genuine connectionThis episode is for you if:- You feel exhausted doing everything by yourself even though people are around- You'd rather be alone than feel alone with your family- You're experiencing chronic irritation and don't know why- You want to stop the cycle of loneliness in your home- You're ready to understand what your emotions are actually telling youThe Connection Codes aren't just theory—they're tools that work immediately when you implement them. Whether you're a parent trying to connect with your kids, a spouse feeling disconnected, or someone navigating the holiday season with a deep sense of isolation, this episode will give you clarity and actionable steps forward.Resources Mentioned:- The Still Face Experiment- Connection Codes events in Europe- Cincinnati event testimonials- Upcoming 2026 eventsReady to go deeper?Get the Core Emotion Wheel - The foundational tool for processing emotions and creating connection www.connectioncodes.co/podcastBook a Connection Codes Certified Coach - Work one-on-one with someone trained in these tools https://connectioncodes.co/coachesWant to bring Connection Codes to your church, business, or organization? Email us! We're booking events for 2026 and would love to come to your community.Keywords: loneliness, emotional health, mental health, marriage communication, parenting tools, emotional regulation, connection, isolation, relationship advice, family therapy, chronic loneliness, emotional intelligence, still face experiment, authentic vulnerability, emotional presence, marriage help, parenting struggles, mental wellness, emotional awareness, relational connection

Episode Description:What if one vulnerable conversation could completely transform your marriage? Dan Purcell, marriage intimacy coach and creator of the Intimately Us app, shares the pivotal moment when a friend's honesty about his sex life turned Dan's world upside down—and ultimately changed the trajectory of his marriage and career.In this raw and honest conversation, Dan opens up about growing up in a conservative environment where sex was taboo, the anxiety that carried into his marriage, and the courage it took to have a five-hour vulnerable conversation with his wife at 9 PM that didn't end until 2 AM. What emerged wasn't just better sex—it was better communication, better parenting, and a completely different level of connection.Glenn and Phyllis explore with Dan the common barriers that keep couples from experiencing rich intimacy, the danger of viewing yourself as superior to your spouse, and why solving sexual problems requires "second-order change"—not just redecorating the kitchen, but remodeling it entirely.Key Topics:- Mental health and emotional vulnerability in marriage- Breaking through sexual shame and conservative upbringings- The courage required for authentic conversations about intimacy- Desire discrepancy and what really causes it- How superiority thinking destroys sexual connection- Moving from transactional to transformational intimacy- The power of one vulnerable conversation to change everything- Creating play and creativity in your sex life- Leadership development through emotional honestyWhat You'll Learn:- Why most couples miss on authentic connection (even when they think they're doing fine)- How to have the scary conversation that could transform your marriage- The real reason behind sexual desire discrepancy (hint: it's not about being too busy)- Why solution-oriented approaches often backfire in intimacy- How to move from wearing masks to true vulnerability with your spouse- Practical tools and games to bring playfulness back to foreplayAbout Our Guest: Dan Purcell is a marriage intimacy coach who helps couples create deeper sexual and emotional connection. After a career-changing conversation eight years ago, he developed the Intimately Us app and now coaches couples full-time, helping them experience breakthrough moments in their marriages.Get your free resources: getyourmarriageon.com/connection-codes - 100 Creative Ways to Initiate Sex guide - 101 Ways to Have Sex guide - Jump Start Guide (books, articles, podcasts, frameworks)Get Your Free Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcastReady to Transform Your Marriage? Book a Connection Codes certified coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches

Episode Description: What happens when both you and your partner are flooded with emotion at the same time? In this behind-the-scenes conversation, Tera Wages and Elijah Runyan (Director of Coaching at Connection Codes) get honest about the messy middle of learning emotional connection tools—and why it's worth pushing through. Elijah shares his journey from nervous breakdown to breakthrough, including the moment his wife stopped mid-conversation and said, "I don't know what's happening right now. What is going on?" He also reveals the phrase that transformed their dynamic: "It's okay for it to hurt for you and it's also okay for it to hurt for me."Whether you're navigating holiday gatherings with triggering family members or trying to figure out why your spouse keeps trying to fix instead of listen, this episode gives you practical language and permission to exist alongside your partner's emotions.In This Episode:00:00 – Why team conversations become podcasts01:28 – Elijah's story: finding Connection Codes during a rough season04:13 – The first time Elijah "ooh'd" his wife (and her shocked response)06:24 – "It was better before"—was it really?08:17 – Opening Pandora's box: why it gets messier first11:06 – Communicating through your pain vs. communicating your pain14:44 – Why your partner tries to fix you (the logistics revelation)17:10 – When both partners have emotions at the same time20:10 – "I don't want to cause you pain"—the hidden block to vulnerability23:34 – "I have a right to exist"—and so does your partner26:53 – When there's no "fix"—just holding space for mutual hurt30:48 – Applying this to family, kids, and holiday gatherings32:39 – What to say when someone's communicating through emotion34:15 – Elijah's Core Emotion Wheel check-inKeywords: emotional health, marriage advice, relationship tools, mental health awareness, communication skills, conflict resolution, emotional intelligence, couples therapy alternative, leadership development, holiday stress, family relationshipsResources Mentioned:Get the Core Emotion Wheel (free): www.connectioncodes.co/podcastBook a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coachesLearn about School of Connection: connectioncodes.coGet Connected:Website: www.connectioncodes.coInstagram: @connectioncodesElijah Runyan's Website: runyanstronghealth.comElijah on Instagram: @elijahjrunyan

What happens when a pastor discovers he's been missing his wife emotionally for years—not from lack of love, but from lack of tools?In this powerful conversation, Dr. Glenn Hill sits down with Friedemann Pache, a Connection Codes certified coach from Germany, to discuss his transformation from emotional shutdown to vulnerable connection. Friedemann shares the raw truth about his 18-year marriage, his journey through pastoral ministry where he learned to ignore his body's signals, and the moment he realized he didn't know how to share emotions despite wanting deep connection with his wife, Katarina.This episode reveals:How childhood patterns of "keeping yourself shut" create loneliness in marriageWhy most men struggle with emotional language (and the simple tool that changes everything)The surprising way shame can be your ally, not your enemyHow Friedemann's 50-year-married parents did the Core Emotion Wheel for the first time—and what happened when decades of unspoken pain finally found wordsPractical steps for bringing emotional health to your church, family, and communityKeywords: emotional health, marriage advice, pastoral burnout, emotional intimacy, relationship transformation, men and emotions, communication in marriage, emotional vocabulary, vulnerability in leadership, mental health for pastors, marriage counseling, emotional connection tools, overcoming loneliness in marriage, healthy relationships, faith and mental healthWhat You'll Learn:The difference between being present and being emotionally presentHow to create safety for yourself with your own emotionsWhy your body holds emotion and what happens when you ignore itThe four-step process for deeper connection (even after 50 years of marriage)How to introduce emotional health tools to resistant family members or church communitiesFeatured Guest: Friedemann Pache is a Connection Codes certified coach based in Lüneburg, Germany. After 16 years in pastoral ministry, he now helps German-speaking individuals and couples discover emotional health and authentic connection. He's married to Katarina for 18 years, father to two teenagers, and is passionate about bringing the Connection Codes methodology to Europe.Resources Mentioned:Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcastBook a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coachesConnect with Friedemann: contact@c-momente.de | www.c-momente.deConnection Codes Programs: Foundations Masterclass, Clarity Reset, Late Night- School of Connection Coaching CertificationJoin the Connection Codes Community: This podcast is for anyone tired of surface-level relationships and ready for emotional health that actually transforms your marriage, parenting, and leadership. Get your free Core Emotion Wheel and start your journey today.Subscribe & Review: If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more people who need these tools for emotional connection and mental health.

Episode Description:What starts with downloading a simple emotion wheel? For Annemiek Vernhout, it sparked a complete transformation—in her marriage, her parenting, and ultimately led her to bring Connection Codes to an entire country.In this powerful conversation recorded in the Netherlands, Annemiek shares her vulnerable journey from feeling emotionally disconnected and stuck in her head to becoming a Connection Codes coach who hosted a groundbreaking event that impacted 70 people in one day.In this episode, you'll discover:- Why recognizing emotions (not just feeling them) changes everything in relationships- The common mistake parents make when responding differently than their spouse—and what to do instead- How fear almost stopped Annemiek from asking for what she needed most- Why "a new way of living" feels weird at first (and why that's completely normal)- The difference between processing emotions through journaling versus using the Core Emotion Wheel- How to help your kids recognize emotions without forcing them to "do the wheel"- What happens when you lead with emotion instead of logistics in difficult conversations- Why anger isn't your enemy—it's the fuel that helps you accomplish hard things- The micro moments that matter: Thursday night dinners vs. the macro vision of city-wide changeKey Topics: emotional intelligence, emotional processing, marriage communication, parenting with emotional awareness, overcoming fear, vulnerability in relationships, connection in marriage, emotional regulation, mental health tools, leadership development, taking risks, processing emotions, family dynamics, emotional literacyThis episode is for you if:- You feel more in your head than your heart- Your marriage is "fine" but you want deeper connection- You're tired of only talking about logistics with your spouse- You want your kids to be emotionally intelligent- You have a fear of asking for help or sharing your needs- You sense there's a better way to live but don't know where to startResources Mentioned:- Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcast- Book a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coaches- Foundations Masterclass: www.connectioncodes.co/foundations- Visit www.connectioncodes.nl to connect with AnnemiekAbout Annemiek Vernhout:Annemiek is a Connection Codes coach based in the Netherlands. Married to Bastiaan for 14 years with a 12-year-old son Nathan, she discovered Connection Codes through a Facebook message two years ago. This summer, she became a certified coach and recently hosted Connection Codes' first major event in the Netherlands, impacting 70 people in one day. She has a heart for teaching and bringing emotional connection tools to her community and beyond.

What happens when you've spent a lifetime being silent—and suddenly, you can't do it anymore?In this powerful conversation, Connection Codes coach Laurel Simpson shares the moment that changed everything: a walk with her husband John where she realized she had to rebel against the silence that was suffocating her marriage and her mental health.After years of caretaking her mom through Alzheimer's, living in chronic dysregulation, and navigating her husband's anger while drowning in her own fear, Laurel reached a breaking point. The phrase that haunted her since childhood—"shut up, shut down, shut off"—was no longer sustainable.In this episode, you'll discover:The moment Laurel decided to rebel against emotional silence and what gave her the courage to finally speak upWhy anger was shutting her down and how she learned to navigate it in her marriageThe phrase that changed everything: "I have fear in sharing this, but..." and how it transformed her relationship with JohnHow to do "one brave thing every day" and why it's more powerful than you thinkWhy Connection Codes training isn't just for coaches—it's for anyone who wants to become a better humanThe difference between eliminating fear and processing through fear to take brave actionHow to recognize when you're living in chronic dysregulation and what to do about itWhy we're not designed to suffer in silence—and how to get back to your authentic voiceFor couples navigating crisis, individuals feeling voiceless in their relationships, or anyone who's been told to "shut up" their entire life—this episode is for you.Laurel demonstrates the Core Emotion Wheel and shares her current experience with grief, transition, and the ongoing work of staying connected to herself and others.Keywords: emotional health, mental health podcast, marriage communication, breaking emotional silence, chronic dysregulation, processing emotions, finding your voice, relationship healing, emotional safety, nervous system regulation, marriage after trauma, caregiver burnout, emotional processing, healthy relationships, leadership through vulnerabilityResources mentioned:Connection Codes Foundations CourseSchool of Connection (8-week program starting September 30th)Connection Codes Coaching CohortReady to get started?Get the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcastBook a Connection Codes coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coachesFind Laurel Simpson on the Connection Codes website under "All Coaches" (https://connectioncodes.co/all-coaches)

What happens when a simple email about work scripts triggers a complete relationship nosedive? In this raw, unfiltered episode, we witness Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill work through an actual conflict from the day before—and discover how identity loss was at the root of their disconnect.This isn't theory. This is real marriage work happening in real-time.You'll discover:Why the first 60 seconds of conflict can determine your entire dayHow "being the workhorse" or "the fixer" can destroy emotional connectionThe difference between acknowledging pain vs. trying to fix it (and why one creates intimacy while the other creates distance)Why logistics never matter (and what actually does)How to identify when you've tuned out fear to maintain your identityThe surprising reason why saying "you don't have to do it all" can strip someone of their identityReal tools for repair when you've already spiraled into disconnectionKey Timestamps:3:12 - The conflict begins: How a missed acknowledgment triggered everything18:05 - Identifying the first unprocessed emotion (the make-or-break moment)26:10 - The workhorse identity: Why "getting things done" becomes self-destructive39:02 - The validation breakthrough: What acknowledgment actually does47:08 - Walking through the Core Emotion Wheel togetherThis episode is essential for:Couples who keep having the "same fight" in different packagingLeaders carrying identity roles that no longer serve themAnyone who's been called "the strong one" and wonders why they feel so exhaustedParents navigating empty nest transitions or career changesAnyone who feels unseen in their closest relationshipsResources Mentioned:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcastWork with a certified Connection Codes coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coachesExplore the School of Connection for deep-dive marriage transformationTopics: marriage conflict resolution, emotional health in relationships, identity crisis in marriage, emotional processing, leadership and emotional intelligence, relationship repair, overcoming disconnection, mental health in marriage, core emotions, validation in relationships

Episode 188: Identity Over Truth - Why We're All Desperate to Be SeenIn this powerful episode, Tera Wages and Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill explore why humans prioritize identity over truth—and how this fundamental need shapes everything from our marriages to the polarizing world we see online.What You'll Learn:Why identity is your #1 human need (backed by the Still Face Experiment)The 5 critical questions your brain is constantly askingHow identity loss makes us do things we'd never recommend to othersWhy "calling someone back to truth" never works in relationshipsThe real reason people stay in lower-paying jobs (it's not about money)How to recognize when someone is losing identity—and what to do insteadWhy the "us vs them" narrative is more dangerous than you thinkPractical tools to give identity instead of stripping it awayKey Topics Covered:Emotional health and regulationMarriage communication and conflict resolutionLeadership development and team cultureMental health and depressionIdentity formation and validationConnection vs disconnectionEmotional intelligence in relationshipsWorkplace culture and employee retentionResources:Get the FREE Core Emotion Wheel: www.connectioncodes.co/podcastBook a Connection Codes Coach: https://connectioncodes.co/coachesLearn about Connection Codes training for businesses and leaders: https://connectioncodes.co/at-workFollow Connection Codes:Instagram: @connectioncodesFacebook: Connection CodesWebsite: www.connectioncodes.co

In this deeply vulnerable episode, Dr. Glen and Phyllis continue their real-time conflict from last week, diving into the messy reality of what it looks like when one partner is thriving while the other is just beginning to recover from burnout. Recorded just moments after a morning conflict, this episode captures the raw, unscripted reality of navigating relationship pain when one person has no reserves left and the other is wondering when things will feel "normal" again. Glen and Phyllis, along with host Tera Wages, explore the invisible weight of mental and emotional labor in relationships, how partners experience the same events differently and arrive at different emotional places, the fear and uncertainty of not knowing how long a partner's pain will last, identity crisis and what it means to feel completely empty of reserves, the importance of getting curious instead of trying to fix, why processing pain 10,000 times is actually healthy (not a problem), how to support a partner who is in a season of deep transition, and the power of doing the Core Emotion Wheel regularly, especially during hard seasons. You'll learn why one partner can feel like they "sprinted" across the finish line while the other "crawled," how to recognize when mental/emotional labor is just as taxing as physical labor, the difference between desire and capacity in your body, why it's crucial to turn toward your partner and share your emotions in the moment, how to invite your partner back into connection when they miss with you, why identity pain is the greatest pain and requires the most patience, and the importance of slowing down and asking "Ooh, tell me more" instead of problem-solving. Whether you're the partner crawling across the finish line or the one wondering when your spouse will "bounce back," this episode offers permission to feel all of it, process it together, and remember that you're not broken—you're just human.Chapters:00:00:00 - Disclaimer00:02:30 - "I Don't Know If This Is a 5 Year or 25 Year Plan"00:05:50 - Phyllis's Perspective: "I'm Still Discovering Me"00:10:40 - The Identity Crisis: Selling the Company and Losing a Lane00:13:00 - Learning to Feel Emotions for the First Time: "Oh, That's What Burnout Feels Like"00:21:05 - "I Have No Reserves": A New Experience00:22:10 - Desire vs. Capacity: Learning to Listen to Your Body00:24:10 - Different Experiences at the Finish Line: "I Crawled, You Sprinted"00:40:00 - Identity Pain Is the Greatest Pain00:42:00 - "I Just Want You to Turn to Me"00:47:20 - The Lifeline: Using the Core Emotion Wheel in Hard SeasonsLinks and Resources:Connection Codes WebsiteTake the Connection Codes AssessmentConnection Codes CoachingWatch previous episodes on navigating conflictConnect with us on Instagram: @connectioncodes

Tera, Dr. Glenn, and Phyllis dive into the powerful interplay between vulnerability and safety in relationships. Drawing from personal stories, cultural examples, and decades of work with Connection Codes, they unpack how many of us were raised to silence emotions—and how this creates barriers to intimacy. The hosts explore why vulnerability is not weakness but the very act that creates safety, and how micro-moments of authentic sharing lay the foundation for trust. With practical insights, like using the Core Emotion Wheel and reframing fear, this conversation equips you to transform your relationships into safe spaces where real connection can thriveChapters:- 00:00:00 - TV shows and vulnerability- 00:01:20 - Introducing core concepts- 00:04:51 - Childhood lessons on suppression- 00:07:51 - The vulnerability paradox- 00:11:12 - Unfamiliar territory- 00:15:30 - Foundation-building moments- 00:19:24 - Recognizing safe people- 00:23:30 - Fear vs. safety- 00:28:39 - Everyday vulnerability- 00:35:26 - The cab story- 00:41:42 - Authenticity without guarantees- 00:47:35 - Losing and finding relationships- 00:53:01 - The Core Emotion Wheel- 00:58:04 - Starting your journeyLinks and Resources:- https://connectioncodes.co/- https://connectioncodes.co/get-the-cew- https://www.amazon.com/Connection-Codes-Blueprint-Creating-Relationships-ebook/dp/B093TLDT71

In this episode Tera, Dr. Glenn, and Phyllis take on one of the most misunderstood and weaponized words in relationships: forgiveness. They unpack why simply saying “I forgive you” rarely brings peace, and how unprocessed pain lingers in the body long after conflict. Through personal stories, faith reflections, and the practical tools of the Connection Codes, they reveal why true healing comes through release—acknowledging, voicing, and processing hurt in safe spaces. Listeners will learn how to move beyond judgment, create authentic emotional connection, and experience freedom without erasing their pain or enabling harmful dynamicsChapters:00:00:00 - Setting the Stage for Authentic Healing00:02:09 - Rethinking Forgiveness: Moving Beyond Traditional Approaches00:04:26 - How Forgiveness Gets Weaponized in Relationships00:11:04 - The Compassionate Truth About Forgiveness in Faith00:15:47 - Creating Safety to Process Pain Together00:29:34 - Why Simply Saying "I Forgive You" Doesn't Heal the Hurt00:36:53 - Embracing Emotions as Pathways to Deeper Connection00:47:42 - Real-Life Example: Using the Emotion Wheel in Relationships00:54:55 - Practical Next Steps for Your Relationship JourneyLinks and Resources:- Connection Codes Emotion Wheel - https://connectioncodes.co/wheel-download- Connection Codes Book - https://www.amazon.com/Connection-Codes-Blueprint-Creating-Relationships/dp/B093QCHZ76- Become a Connection Codes Coach - https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching#certifiedcoachingtopofhome

In this vulnerable and empowering conversation, host Tera Wages sits down with Ally Bullock — licensed marriage and family therapist, Head of Relationships at Paired, and creator of Relationships with Ally. Together, they unpack the realities of sex and intimacy after parenting. From mismatched desire and the weight of invisible labor, to the science behind stress and sexual satisfaction, Ally shares practical strategies couples can use to reconnect. Listeners will hear real-life stories, expert insights, and powerful tools — like co-regulation rituals, responsive desire reframes, and scheduling intimacy — that can transform the way partners approach connection in the busiest seasons of life.Chapters:00:00:00 - Welcome to Connection Codes Podcast00:00:27 - Meet Aly Bullock00:01:50 - 45% of parents report less intimacy00:03:58 - Aly's Background: A marriage and family therapist with the Paired app00:05:48 - Aly's Personal Story: Marriage, three kids, and "chaotic" life00:07:28 - How does sex change after kids?00:08:13 - Why Intimacy Decreases00:09:00 - Feeling "touched out" after 10 years of pregnancy/nursing00:10:17 - Desire Types: Spontaneous vs. responsive desire explained00:12:55 - Use a shared note to "brain dump" the mental load00:15:47 - Reframing Expectations: Embrace a new normal post-kids00:17:45 - Why to Schedule Sex00:19:06 - Study: A mother's stress predicts lower sexual satisfaction for both partners00:20:00 - A New Approach: Schedule "intimacy time," not just sex00:24:08 - A Moment of Empathy: Tera's husband experiences overstimulation00:25:37 - Tip for Overstimulation: Co-regulation with back-to-back breathing00:28:03 - Use AirPods with relaxing music during sex00:28:53 - Study: Small, daily intimate acts boost satisfaction00:30:18 - Identity Matters00:31:21 - Tip on Identity: Separate your "parent" and "partner" roles00:32:21 - Intimacy can get better with time00:41:41 - Recap: A summary of the episode's key tips00:42:13 - Resource: The Paired app's "Recharge Your Sex Life" course00:42:57 - How to Connect with AlyLinks and Resources:Relationship with Aly Website:Aly on InstagramAly on ⁠LinkedIn⁠:⁠ Aly BullockGet Paired at 25% off: http://www.paired.com/alypodcastDownload the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠

In this powerful conversation, Dr. Glenn and Phyllis talk with Paul and Hannah McClure—musicians, parents, and certified Connection Codes coaches—about the journey of learning to process emotions instead of drowning in them. The McClures share openly about walking through miscarriage, facing parenting challenges, and breaking free from long seasons of disconnection. They describe how simple tools like the Core Emotion Wheel gave them language for their feelings, transformed their marriage, and reshaped the way they connect as a family. This episode is an invitation to slow down, honor what you feel, and discover how vulnerability can lead to lasting healing and deeper relationships.Chapters:00:00:00 – Welcome to the Connection Codes Podcast00:00:57 – Meet Paul & Hannah00:01:34 – Story of meeting as teens and family background00:02:41 – Discovery of the program in 2020 through webinars00:03:15 – How the tools helped process miscarriage00:04:44 – Reflection on “choose joy” culture and parenting impact00:05:31 – Childhood experience of suppressing emotions00:07:23 – Demonstration of the Core Emotion Wheel00:09:27 – Feelings of anger, guilt, and loneliness in friendships00:11:16 – Fear about an album release and hurt from a trip00:13:00 – Key victories and struggles with the tools00:14:23 – Resolving conflict in Hawaii by naming hurt00:17:30 – How minutes of processing prevent days of disconnect00:19:51 – Example of using the wheel during a cancer diagnosis00:25:00 – Motivation for becoming coaches00:27:18 – Coaching removed the pressure of having all the answers00:30:04 – How unprocessed joy can lead to poor choices00:32:04 – The wheel as a manual for navigating trauma00:37:29 – Fear of drowning in emotions00:40:10 – Seeing past anger to identify underlying hurtLinks and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠

Tera Wages sits down with Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill to unpack the heart behind launching the School of Connection. Together, they explore why disconnection is one of the most dangerous forces in marriages, families, and workplaces, and how community becomes the missing piece for lasting transformation. With real stories of parents using the Core Emotion Wheel, couples breaking the cycle of conflict, and individuals rediscovering hope, this conversation reveals a clear path from isolation to authentic connection. If you’ve ever longed for deeper relationships or wondered how to move from surviving to thriving, this episode offers practical tools and an inspiring vision for healing through connectionChapters:(00:00:00) - Welcome to Connection Codes Podcast(00:02:12) - The Big Announcement(00:03:12) - Identifying the Need for Human Connection(00:04:20) - Announcing the "School of Connection"(00:05:01) - Why Everyone Needs This(00:06:17) - Phyllis on the Power of a "Deep Dive"(00:07:19) - A Health Journey vs. Relational Health(00:09:07) - The Pain of Loneliness When Success Isn't Enough(00:11:58) - Why Handing Someone a Chainsaw Doesn't Make Them an Ice Sculptor(00:13:46) - Phyllis on the Burden of Meeting the Community's Needs(00:17:44) - The Unexpected Transformations: Restored Marriages and Found Voices(00:19:30) - "People are Dating Robots"(00:23:14) - My 6-Year-Old Coached Me Through Conflict(00:25:09) - Aiming to "Freak Out Over a 10-Minute Conflict"(00:28:20) - "We Did the Book, But That Wasn't Enough"(00:33:19) - Who This Is For: Breaking Free From Walking on Eggshells(00:35:08) - Discovering a Spouse's Hidden Pain(00:40:47) - How to Join: Announcing the First Cohort Start Date(00:43:43) - The Team's Core Emotions About the New School(00:44:03) - Fear and Joy of Launching the Program(00:47:23) - The Anger of Financial Limitations(00:50:48) - The Rarity of Hearing the Real Story Behind a Business(00:52:45) - The Path to Becoming a Certified CoachLinks and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠

For nearly two decades, Zephan and Sarah's marriage was in "survival mode". On the surface, everything seemed "fine," but underneath, a painful disconnect was growing—one partner felt "particularly lonely," while the other "had no idea". A pivotal moment during a podcast recording led to an emotional "dam break," forcing them to confront years of unspoken pain. In this episode, Zephan and Sarah share their powerful journey of moving beyond a "people pleaser" dynamic and ineffective relationship "rules". They discuss navigating the chaotic first six months—a period they call "Pandora's Box"—to build a foundation of true emotional safety and transform their communication, learning how to become a true "witness for your life".Chapters:00:00:00 - Welcome to the Connection Codes Podcast00:03:16 - Meet Zephan & Sarah00:04:12 - Why Connection Codes Was Different: How it became a "way of life," not just a quick fix.00:05:13 - The First 10 Years: Reflecting on the intensity and "survival mode" of early marriage.00:06:11 - The Turning Point: A failed podcast recording reveals one partner's hidden pain.00:08:43 - Defining Connection: The pain caused by differing views on what connection looks like.00:09:36 - The People-Pleaser Dynamic: How managing a partner's emotions prevents intimacy.00:10:30 - The Problem with "Rules": Why rule-based methodologies for relationships often fail.00:11:08 - The Core Principle of Safety: The commitment to "be safe for one another."00:13:37 - The "Dam Break" of Loneliness: Finding the language to define loneliness within the marriage.00:15:12 - Learning to "Ooh" a Partner's Pain: Validating a partner without taking on their pain as shame.00:15:53 - Seeing "Micro-Resisting": Noticing the pattern of people resisting each other's emotions.00:16:56 - The Journey of Oohing Yourself: Not resisting your own emotions as a path to self-discovery.00:22:39 - Finding Your Voice: How a safe group environment helps in sharing difficult emotions.00:23:58 - A New Way to Argue: Moving from "I'm not enough" to "I'm feeling lonely."00:29:41 - The "Pandora's Box" Phase: The scary and difficult first six months of doing the work.00:31:05 - How to Navigate Early Stages: Advice on staying curious to find connection at the bottom of the pain.00:36:40 - The Vital Role of Community: How supportive friends were essential to their journey.00:38:43 - A Partner as a "Witness": The profound purpose of a committed partnership.00:41:31 - Core Emotion Wheel Practice: The couple shares their current emotions using the wheel exercise.00:45:55 - Connecting with the Guests: How to find Zephan and Sarah for coaching.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠Haven Coaching Website: https://www.havencoaching.net/homeHaven Coaching on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thehavencoaching/

Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill welcome their grandson, Asher Hill, to share his journey of learning and practicing the Connection Codes Core Emotion Wheel from a young age. That foundation became life-saving when, at just 14 years old, he was hit with the emotional weight of his mother’s cancer diagnosis. Now 16, Asher reflects on how this tool has carried him through high school pressures, football struggles, panic attacks, and family conflicts—and even how he uses it with his girlfriend to build a safe, honest relationship. His story proves that emotional intelligence isn’t just for adults—no one is too young to learn it—and that authentic communication and safe spaces for vulnerability can transform every relationship, from family to friendships to future partnerships.Chapters:(00:00:00) Introduction & Disclaimer(00:02:59) Meet Asher(00:05:14) Why Asher is on the Podcast(00:06:59) Early Memories of Connection Codes(00:08:06) Cousin Conflict(00:10:38) The "Three Sentences" Rule(00:12:56) The Core Emotion Wheel as a "Game Changer"(00:15:56) Learning as We Go(00:19:12) A Cousin-Led Resolution(00:21:44) Navigating a Mother's Illness(00:26:28) Emotional Suppression as a Coping Mechanism(00:27:32) Inhale, Exhale: The Flow of Emotions(00:29:07) The Gym Analogy for Emotions(00:30:44) The Weight of Unprocessed Feelings(00:36:11) Asher's Core Emotion Wheel(00:38:23) Using the Wheel in a RelationshipLinks and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠⁠⁠

In this heartfelt episode, we explore the transformative power of vulnerability in personal growth. Join us as Hannah Droll shares her journey of embracing vulnerability through Connection Codes, revealing how it reshaped her relationships and self-awareness. Discover the challenges and triumphs of staying present in moments of emotional intensity, and learn how vulnerability can lead to deeper connections and personal transformation. Tune in to uncover the profound impact of being open and authentic in your own life.

What if processing emotions could be simple, kind, and transformative? In this conversation, Dr. Glenn sits down with Jonathan Hernandez — psychology student, Certified Connection Codes Coach, and creative visionary bringing the Connection Codes to nearly a billion Spanish speakers. Speaking from his own dating relationship, Jonathan shares how processing emotions like fear, joy, and shame without judgment has deepened connection and reduced conflict — and how these same tools are transforming marriages around the world. Together, they explore why emotions “happen to us,” how resisting them keeps us stuck, and practical ways to experience emotional safety in real time. Whether you’re dating, married, or somewhere in between, this episode offers hope, humor, and actionable insight for anyone ready to strengthen their emotional health and relationships.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠⁠Jonathan Hernandez on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/jonathan-hernandez-b16070188⁠Chapters: 00:00:00 - Welcome & Why This Conversation Matters00:00:38 - Finding Joy in Fully Feeling00:01:35 - Meet Jonathan Hernandez & His Mission00:03:13 - The Moment Connection Codes Changed Everything00:07:22 - How Emotions Shape Every Connection00:10:50 - Processing Feelings That Once Felt Impossible00:21:06 - Turning Shame into a Bridge for Closeness00:24:34 - Trauma Responses and the Path to Healing00:27:23 - Experiencing Emotions in a Whole New Way00:28:43 - Using Emotional Processing to Truly Heal00:29:55 - Why Sadness Deserves a Seat at the Table00:32:09 - Applying Connection Codes in Real-Life Dating00:42:20 - Bringing Connection Codes to Millions of Spanish Speakers00:48:02 - The Transformative Power of Emotional Coaching00:49:58 - Walking Through the Emotional Wheel in Action

After 30 days apart, Tera and Wes Wages reunite in this raw and reflective episode to walk through the Core Emotion Wheel—live and unscripted. They process everything from the guilt of missed connections to the joy of being truly seen, showing just how powerful emotional honesty can be. Along the way, they model how to use this tool in real-time, talk through what’s really driving their behavior, and explain how diving deeper into core emotions has helped them move from disconnection to intimacy. If you've ever felt stuck in surface-level conversations, this episode shows how to break through and build meaningful connection—one emotion at a time.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Chapters: 00:00:00 - Welcome, Warm-Up & Quick Heads-Up00:00:49 - Summer Stories & Reuniting on the Mic00:01:10 - Unlocking Connection with the Core Emotion Wheel00:03:33 - Putting the Wheel to Work in Real Life00:05:24 - Peeling Back Layers: Emotions That Shape Relationships00:12:00 - Wes Opens Up: Honest Feelings on the Table00:17:14 - Big Life Shift: Saying Goodbye to the RV00:18:41 - The Emotional Weight of Letting Go00:19:08 - Adventures, Solitude, and Summer Reflections00:20:06 - Joy, Dreams, and What’s Next00:20:35 - Breaking Down the Core Eight Emotions00:22:02 - Chasing Parks, Memories, and Milestones00:23:37 - Why Our Feelings Drive the Choices We Make00:30:52 - The Highs and Hiccups of Life on the Road00:33:04 - How Core Emotions Keep Us Connected00:35:06 - Final Encouragement & Invitation to Join the Conversation

Phyllis and Dr. Glenn Hill sit down with Elijah Runyan, Director of Certified Coaching for Connection Codes, to dive deep into the world of neurodivergence and emotional connection. Both Elijah and Dr. Glenn share personal stories of what it’s like to live with unique emotional wiring—where everyday experiences, like dishes left undone or mismatched hangers, can trigger intense pain experiences. Through candid reflections, they reveal how shame and loneliness can take hold when these experiences go unseen or misunderstood, and how learning to process pain instead of judging it opens the door to authentic connection. This episode highlights how the Connection Codes framework—centered on regard, curiosity, and emotional awareness—has transformed their relationships, helping them move from miscommunication to genuine closeness with their families and partners.Links and Resources:Download the Core Emotion Wheel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://youtube.com/@connectioncodes?si=phORYBsGMOOrj9mA⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find out how to become a Certified Coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/certified-coaching⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find a coach:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://connectioncodes.co/coaches#find-a-coach-menu⁠Connect with Elijah here: https://www.runyanstronghealth.com/Chapters: 00:00:00 - Opening Up: Why This Conversation Matters00:00:56 - What Neurodivergence Really Feels Like00:04:22 - When “Different” Becomes a Daily Struggle00:07:41 - From Shame to Identity: The Pain Behind Control00:12:14 - Why Being Seen Is More Powerful Than Being Helped00:21:15 - Raising Kids While Feeling Misunderstood00:22:22 - Making Room for Everyday Pain00:22:33 - Teaching Compassion Through Lived Experience00:25:10 - Travel, Triggers, and When Systems Break00:26:57 - Navigating Marriage with a Neurodivergent Lens00:29:13 - How We Learn to Speak Each Other’s Language00:30:19 - The Great Hanger Debate (Yes, Really)00:32:37 - Celebrating the Things That Set Us Apart00:35:10 - Final Thoughts on Connection, Curiosity, and Courage