Grow Yourself Up

In this episode Cath speaks about how control is such a key coping strategy for so many of us and how this rears its head at times of stress (like early motherhood) and in new situations. Control is not the solution we think it is and Cath shares a recent incident from her own life showing how control is so seductive and seems to be the answer, but really it is an illusion.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In episode 160 Cath speaks about how we have to develop our own sense of power and sovereignty as we heal from childhood trauma and how this involves really moving away from external approval. She talks about developing self trust, ceasing to gaslight ourselves and the concept of unconditional love. We have to consciously unhook from societal messages so we can craft the life of our own dreams.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this deeply touching episode Cath was joined by attachment expert and psychotherapist Anne Power. Anne shared about her own attachment journey, some of her childhood story, boarding school, brief explanations about the different attachment styles, attachment in couple relationships and attachment, grief and repair in the parent child relationship. This episode will help you feel supported and seen.Anne Power first qualified at The Bowlby Centre, and later trained at WPF, Tavistock Relationships and Relate. She has worked in various settings but now works online with couples and parent-with-adult-child pairs. She has written many academic papers and two books; all of these use attachment theory to understand relationships and clinical experience. Her book Contented Couples is based on interviews with eighteen long-term couples from different traditions, including arranged marriage. It explains couple dynamics in an accessible way and describes how partners’ complementary attachment patterns can work well together.Anne posts on Instagram @and_attachment with content for people who want to understand attachment in their relationships. Her TEDx talk ‘Attachment theory is the science of love’, also addresses this theme and has been watched by over a million people.You can watch the TEDx talk yourself by clicking here.Anne has also recently finished writing a novel about a couple counsellor and the diverse couples who come to see her. Do watch for news and publication of her forthcoming novel on her Instagram page, or on her website where you can also download free PDFs on attachment themes at https://www.contentedcouples.com/If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this rich and wide ranging episode Cath is joined by Dr Arielle Schwartz. We discussed Arielle's path to motherhood, mother wounds in her matrilineal line and how this impacted her childhood, ambivalence in motherhood, complex trauma, nervous system healing, vagal toning and much much more. This episode is woven with rich storytelling crossing multiple generations and offers so much hope to all of us on our own healing journeys.Dr. Arielle Schwartz is a clinical psychologist and leading voice in the healing of trauma. She is an internationally sought-out teacher and author of seven books including The Complex PTSD Workbook, The Post-Traumatic Growth Guidebook, EMDR Therapy and Somatic Psychology, and Applied Polyvagal Theory in Yoga. As the founder of the Center for Resilience Informed Therapy, she offers a mind-body approach to therapy for trauma and informational mental health and wellness updates through her writing, public speaking, social media presence, and blog. She believes that the journey of trauma recovery is an awakening of the spiritual heart.Learn more at www.drarielleschwartz.com. If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this loving and practical episode Cath responds to a listener question about how to manage generational clashes around the approach to dealing with emotions and how to start conversations around this. She reads the listener's letter and looks at the query from multiple points of view.Cath addresses common contexts in terms of generational patterns/clashes, points out how much new information we have these days, she addresses perfectionism, anxiety and control, different approaches we might take to addressing this, and she makes some practical suggestions to support intergenerational relationships.Cath speaks about parenting as gardening and uses this analogy to provide comfort and a useful framework to hold in mind as we work on shifting/breaking cycles in our families.The book Cath reads from is called 'The Gardener and the Carpenter' by Alison Gopnik.The 'Brene Brown' TED talk can be found here: https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerabilityIf you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath speaks more about earned secure attachment, infant attachment and its relationship to adult attachment and how we can shift our patterns. There is always hope to shift our attachment patterns and internal working models is relating and Cath speaks about therapy and important ideas to keep in mind when hoping to shift to a more secure way of operating.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath starts to speak about some of the key points of attachment theory, why this is important for us as adults and starting to cultivate a sense of being fully self supporting of ourselves. With Reparenting we are working to cultivate a relationship with all our selves and to tend gently to these parts. She uses an example of a boundary from her own life to demonstrate self protection (even if others disagree).If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath talks about how many of us go into peak fantasy at this time of year and set ourselves up to have a tricky time. She talks about getting clear about what your fantasy is and to notice that and stop comparing to it.Cath talks about planning ahead to set your family up for success in the holiday time and what that might look like. She also talks about stress responses, recognising these and how you might support the various stress responses. We will be back on Tuesday 6th Jan 2026.The workshop mentioned in the podcast both last week and this week, can be found here: www.cathcounihan.com/triggers-workshopIf you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath reflects on how rage may be one of the most common experiences in motherhood (particularly if we have had childhood trauma). She speaks about getting to know our own rage, the shame we might feel and how that might derail us and trying to understand what our rage might be protecting us from. She uses one of the books she talked about last week to springboard into this conversation and highlights psychological patterns by telling a couple of anecdotes.The workshop mentioned in the podcast, can be found here: www.cathcounihan.com/triggers-workshopIf you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Therapy is necessary for many of us as we heal from childhood trauma and therapy is typically 1 hour a week. That leaves 167 other hours where we may be depressed, anxious, spinning out, criticising ourselves, living in fear or stressed about our own emotions. In this episode Cath shares some of the books that have helped her move from living in fear, books that have helped dealing with grief, despair, relationship patterns and books that have helped with compassion, understanding addiction and more. This episode contains personal stories from Cath to illustrate these points.Cath also talks about mirroring and containment and how many of us have to learn to do this for ourselves when we have not had this sufficiently done in childhood. Let us know if you would like more episodes like this.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In episode 151 Cath was joined by Kimberley Olliff-Cooper. They talked about progressive education, neurodivergence, realising how this impacted our own school experience, the possibility for changing schools and making them more fit for children, healing and growing in motherhood and understanding emotional unavailability, trauma and addiction. We also talked about changing educational systems and the exciting work ThriveNow is doing. Kimberley is a teacher, education consultant, speaker, and co-founder of ThriveNow, a not-for-profit organisation opening a progressive secondary school in September 2026, alongside a Learning Hub designed to share all the assets of the ThriveNow Framework.With a Master’s in Education and over 25 years’ experience in student-centred learning, Kimberley believes that schools should be places of wellbeing, creativity, and deep human and planetary connection.Through ThriveNow, she collaborates with schools and organisations around the world to co-create inclusive, inquiry-led, and climate-conscious learning environments. Her work centres on four key pillars: thriving communities, inquiry-led pedagogy, transdisciplinary curriculum, and multi-modal formative assessment.Website: https://thrive-now-org.webflow.io/Substack: https://thrivenowedu.substack.com/Meta handles: @thrivenoweducationLinkedin (personal), Kimberley Olliff Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kocooper/Linkedin (ThriveNow): https://www.linkedin.com/company/thrivenoweducation If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cath was joined by art psychotherapist Gerardine Boyle in this episode. Cath and Gerardine talked about how generational trauma impacts families, the legacy of emotional neglect, what is unspoken, shame and the complexity of unwinding functional freeze in the system. Gerardine generously shared her own stories of generational trauma and what she believes has impacted her on her journey. We talked briefly about primitive reflexes and how the retention of these can be extremely impactful for nervous system and mental health. Gerardine Boyle is an Art Psychotherapist who has worked for over twenty years in Adult Psychiatry in the HSE (health service in Ireland) and in private practice. She is also trained in the Diamond Approach, the Hearing Voices Approach and she was part of a specialised HSE team delivering Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) for seven years, supporting individuals with high levels of emotional dysregulation. Gerardine trained as a Transforming Touch Practitioner with Dr Stephen Terrell world expert in working with developmental trauma at the first training workshop in Ireland (in Cork in 2019) and this training has been life-changing for her and her clients. She continues to marvel at how supporting the nervous system powerfully lends itself to healing on all levels. Supporting the nervous system means the client, over time gets to know and trust their own nervous system better and shame is addressed on a somatic level. Gerardine's website is https://morninglighttherapy.ie/She works in person and offers intensives, which is multiple therapy sessions over a number of days (with client staying locally in east Cork, Ireland). She also delivers the therapy on line via zoom as well.The link to the training in Dublin with Dr Stephen Terrell is, https://www.austinattach.com/transforming-the-experience-based-brain/dublin-ireland/ and this training welcomes parents, therapists and individuals on their own healing journey.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In episode 149 Cath was joined by Suzy Reading. Cath and Suzy talked about tending to ourselves in winter, making the most of the seasons while holding onto sanity, people pleasing, what Suzy means when she talks about being selfish and all about self advocacy. Suzy talks about her 7 steps to taking back your power and peace and you can find much more detail about this in Suzy's newest book 'How to be Selfish' which releases on the 20th of November 2025.Suzy Reading is a Chartered Psychologist and one of the UK’s leading self-care and self-advocacy experts. She has three decades of experience in the health and wellbeing industry, drawing on her qualifications in yoga and personal training, together with psychology, to empower people with sustainable healthy lifestyle habits. Suzy has a special interest in helping people heal their relationship with ‘self’. She is a monthly columnist for Top Sante Magazine; the Psychology Expert for Neom Organics; the Wellbeing Ambassador for BABTAC and is a founding member of the ‘Nourish’ app. She is the author of The Little Book of Self-Care, The Self-Care Revolution, Stand Tall Like a Mountain, Self-care for Tough Times, This Book Will (Help) Make You Happy, And Breathe, Sit to Get Fit, Rest to Reset and Self-care for Winter. How to Be Selfish is hot of the press.If you wish to follow Suzy, she's on Instagram @suzyreadingIf you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath speaks about the process of welcoming in our own humanity and how a healing journey leads to more emotional messiness, at least initially. She talks about some signs that indicate that you are growing up/healing.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath was joined by Dr Kathrin Stauffer. They chatted about how the body remembers in multiple ways and how not getting what we need in childhood impacts multiple systems in our bodies (not just the nervous system). When we are on a healing journey the expression of sadness and grieving are an important part of this journey. However, it may be that we are blocked from crying by our defences. We dived into this and talked about food, body shape, body psychotherapy, the the function of comfort eating, shame and much more. Kathrin Stauffer PhD, UKCP Registered Body Psychotherapist, is the author of ‘Emotional Neglect and the Adult in Therapy: Lifelong Consequences to a Lack of Early Attunement’ (W.W. Norton 2020).Kathrin was born and educated in Switzerland. Originally a research biochemist, she retrained at the Chiron Centre for Body Psychotherapy. She lives in Cambridge in the UK and works in private practice as a body and humanistic psychotherapist, EMDR practitioner, trainer and supervisor. She previously wrote ‘Anatomy & Physiology for Psychotherapists: connecting Body & Soul’ (W.W. Norton 2010). Currently she is the President of the European Association for Body Psychotherapy EABP.You can contact her via her website which is www.stauffer.co.uk.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath is joined by Dr. Kathrin Stauffer for a rich and varied discussion about emotional neglect, what causes this, how we might know we have been emotionally neglected, the interplay with narcissistic family dynamics, what constitutes narcissistic traits and how narcissism and perfectionism can play out in motherhood. Kathrin Stauffer PhD, UKCP Registered Body Psychotherapist, is the author of ‘Emotional Neglect and the Adult in Therapy: Lifelong Consequences to a Lack of Early Attunement’ (W.W. Norton 2020). She was born and educated in Switzerland. Originally a research biochemist, she retrained at the Chiron Centre for Body Psychotherapy. She lives in Cambridge in the UK and works in private practice as a body and humanistic psychotherapist, EMDR practitioner, trainer and supervisor. Currently she is the President of the European Association for Body Psychotherapy EABP. Kathrin's website is www.stauffer.co.uk If you wish to work with Kathrin or have a question for her, then email her direct on kathrin@stauffer.co.ukIf you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath was joined by therapist and coach Catherine Topham Sly. Catherine and Cath talked about adult love relationships, conflict, couples therapy, learning to communicate, how the mental load after kids can cause conflict and much more.Catherine Topham Sly is the UK’s leading expert in relationships after kids. Founder of Insight & Connection, she's a BACP accredited couples therapist and relationship transformation coach. Catherine is the creator of the 'Love Happy Live Free' method, a unique personal development and relationship skills training programme. Catherine works with both individuals and couples who want to develop the mindset and skills to have loving, satisfying, joyful relationships, so they can enjoy their happiest family life.You can find Catherine on Instagram @insightandconnectionIf you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath speaks about emotional neglect, some of what that involves and how it presents when we are an adult. She speaks about the complexity of holding space for emotions when that was never done for us. Please be gentle with yourself as you practise this skill.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath shares an anecdote from her own life about how something her kids wanted to do triggered shame and the desire to people please and what happened. She talks about people pleasing and fawning and the actual nature of people pleasing and what it is really about. If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath and Dr. Herman talked about trauma and recovery, justice for survivors, complex trauma, stages of recovery/healing, what helps in the postpartum period according to research and Dr Herman's incredible work in the field of trauma, justice, repair, healing and recovery.Judith Lewis Herman M.D. is Senior Lecturer in Psychiatry (part time) at Harvard Medical School. For thirty years, until she retired, she was Director of Training at the Victims of Violence Program at The Cambridge Hospital, Cambridge, MA. She is the author of the award-winning books Father-Daughter Incest (Harvard University Press, 1981), and Trauma and Recovery (Basic Books, 1992). She is the recipient of numerous awards, including a Guggenheim fellowship in 1984 and the 1996 Lifetime Achievement Award from the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies. In 2007 she was named a Distinguished Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association.Her new book, Truth and Repair: How Trauma Survivors Envision Justice, was published in March, 2023.If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. Follow Cath on social media here:Instagram: @cathcounihanSubstack: Nurture.Heal.GrowFacebook: Cath Counihan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.