Influence Every Day

Episode 069 For Want of a Package  The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori A package arrived on my doorstep. Ordinary. Forgettable. Until it wasn’t. In this episode, I share a moment of unexpected awe triggered by something most of us barely notice anymore. A cardboard box. A doorbell. A delivery notification. What followed was a cascade of realization about just how many lives, skills, systems, and unseen acts of effort converge so that a single package can arrive at our door. I reflect on the old proverb often called For Want of a Nail, a centuries-old story about how the absence of one small thing can lead to catastrophic downstream consequences. From a missing nail, to a lost shoe, to a fallen kingdom. That story is usually told as a warning. This episode explores the opposite direction. What happens when a small, seemingly insignificant moment leads to massive positive outcomes? Holding that package, I trace the invisible web behind it. The driver who needed health, strength, and training. The truck that required parts, materials, and maintenance. The metal that required mines. The mines that required machines. The machines that required inventors. The inventors who needed teachers. The teachers who needed food. The farmers who needed sun, soil, rain, and forces far beyond human control. All of it so that I could click “add to cart” and open a box. ... This episode is not a denial of the real problems that exist in global systems. Exploitation, environmental harm, corruption, and injustice are real and worth confronting. But that is not the path I take today. Today is about gratitude. About choosing to see the human effort that usually remains invisible. About honoring the thousands of small contributions that make modern life possible. I offer a direct thank you to the people behind the ideas, the funding, the design, the engineering, the manufacturing, the packing, the coding, the logistics, the driving, the maintenance, the teaching, the parenting, the farming, and the natural forces that sustain it all. This is a reminder that we never receive alone. We are always beneficiaries of lives we will never meet. Gratitude, in this framing, is not sentimentality. It is perspective. It is state management. It is leadership. And it is a practice that can transform an ordinary moment into a grounding reminder of our interdependence. This episode is an invitation to pause before the next package is opened. To see the invisible threads. To let gratitude recalibrate your state. And to remember that even the smallest things often carry the weight of the world behind them. If this episode resonated with you, consider who else might need the reminder. Share it. Pay it forward. And as always, go forth and influence for good... every day.

Episode 068 - Time for Attention  Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori We often hear that time is our scarcest non-renewable resource. This episode challenges that assumption. While time is finite, it is not the true constraint shaping our lives, our relationships, or our outcomes. The real limiting factor is attention. Attention is more scarce than time, more fragile than time, and far more powerful in determining how time is experienced and used. Attention is not just about where it goes. It includes how long it stays, how deeply it is applied, the intent behind it, and even when it is deployed. Attention can be placed in the present, replayed in the past, or projected into a future that may or may not arrive. Because attention is a subset of time, it is what gives time its quality. Two people can spend the same hour and walk away with entirely different results based on how their attention was used. This episode invites reflection without judgment. Where is your attention going when you are with other people? How often does it drift to devices, feeds, background noise, or idle distractions? How long do you stay with a task or a conversation before fragmenting? How present are you while you are there? What is your purpose for placing attention where you do? Paying Attention vs Investing Attention A key distinction explored here is the difference between paying attention and investing attention. Paying attention is often transactional, reactive, short term, and consumptive. It frequently leaves us feeling drained, fragmented, or wondering where the time went. Investing attention is deliberate, chosen, deeper, and oriented toward return. It is how relationships grow, conversations change lives, skills compound, and meaning accumulates over time. When attention is invested rather than paid, it tends to energize rather than exhaust. It feels coherent rather than scattered. It flows rather than fragments. Investing attention shapes who we become because it reinforces patterns of presence, care, service, and growth. This is why attention is never neutral. Where attention goes, energy flows, and that thing grows. The episode reframes productivity away from time management and toward attentional stewardship. Managing attention well leads to better use of time, better management of energy, and more intentional action. Especially during moments of change, renewal, or reflection such as a new year, an anniversary, or a personal turning point, the question is not how to manage time better. The question is how to be more deliberate with attention. The central takeaway is simple and demanding: Time is not your scarcest non-renewable resource. Attention is. Be deliberate. Be intentional. Where you place your attention will shape the quality of your life, your relationships, your growth, your service, and your legacy. -- [ ***** What if you could pivot someone's entire life in a single conversation. You can. Here's an incredibly useful framework for doing just that: HypnoticGiftsBook.com ***** ][ ***** PS - Dr. Tori offers an influence immersion where he can help you 1-on-1 to level-up your influence and communication. Apply here: https://www.drtori.com/coaching-application-1on1 ***** ]

Episode 067 - Taken For Borrowed The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori  There’s a quiet danger in the most stable parts of our lives. Not danger in the obvious sense—but danger in the way stability slips beneath our awareness. The way the most essential things become invisible precisely because they work so well. This episode begins with a simple gratitude practice. Each morning, Dr. Tori writes down five things he’s grateful for—sometimes just a word, sometimes a phrase. No journaling. No editing. Just noticing. And then comes a story that changes how you hear the rest of the episode. The Sound You Didn’t Know You Were Missing A family member describes the first time she put on hearing aids. She didn’t realize her hearing had been fading. Life felt normal. Work was normal. Conversations were normal. And then—birds. Birds chirping. Sounds that had been gone for so long she didn’t even know they were missing. She cried—not from sadness, but from sudden restoration. From realizing something beautiful had been quietly slipping away.     What We Mean When We Take Something for Granted To take something for granted is to treat it as: Given Stable Not requiring maintenance Unlikely to be taken away When those assumptions settle in, attention fades. Appreciation fades. Presence fades. And the tragedy is this: The things most likely to be taken for granted are often the things that often matter most or hold the most meaning. The Invisible Systems Holding Your Life Together The episode walks through a series of experiences you likely haven’t thought about today—but rely on constantly: Background sounds: birds, wind, distant laughter, the hum of your home at night Peripheral vision: the ability to sense the world without staring directly at it Micro-textures: the subtle vibration of pen on paper, the click of a button confirming action Balance: standing, walking, orienting without conscious effort Uninterrupted physiology: a heart that’s been beating since before you were born; breath that never needed instruction Face and voice recognition: instantly knowing who you love without relearning them each time Depth perception: pouring coffee, driving, navigating space without thought Context sensing: walking into a room and immediately “getting the feel” of it None of these announce themselves. They work quietly. Reliably. Predictably. And because of that—they disappear from awareness. Why the Brain Sometimes Hides What Matters Most We are hardwired to: Notice change Track threat Seek cognitive efficiency When something is stable, non-threatening, and easy, the brain does exactly what it’s designed to do—it drops it below conscious awareness. Which raises an uncomfortable question: If we’re not aware of something, can we truly be in awe of it? Can we give it reverence? Can we care for it properly? What If the Most Important Things Were Fragile?   The most predictable, reliable, non-threatening people in your life are often the ones most at risk of being taken for granted. Here's an unsettling question: What if instead of treating these relationships as given, we treated them as fragile? Imagine the most important person in your life. Now imagine they’re gone. Or changed forever by illness. Or distance. Or time. Their presence was never guaranteed. Seeing something as fragile changes how you hold it. You maintain it. You attend to it. You don’t assume it will always be there. Why Gratitude Isn’t Enough Gratitude matters—but the episode makes a clear distinction: Gratitude can be silent and internal. Expressed gratitude adds words. Active appreciation adds behavior. Active appreciation means: Maintaining Improving Paying attention Being present Acting in ways that protect what matters You can feel grateful for someone and still neglect them. You can appreciate something silently and still let it erode. From “Taken for Granted” to “Taken for Borrowed” What if instead of taking things for granted, we took them for borrowed? Borrowed things are handled differently. They’re cared for. They’re respected. They’re returned in better condition than we received them. So consider this... Who in your life might you be taking for granted - and how would your behavior change if you treated them as borrowed instead? Key Takeaway  Don’t wait until something disappears to realize its value.  Treat what matters as fragile. Treat it as borrowed. And act accordingly.  🎧 If this episode resonated, share it with someone who might need the reminder.  Influence is something we practice every day—especially in the quiet moments we usually overlook.    

  066 Buts of Steel: The Small Words That Quietly Shape Every Conversation The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori  In the 1980s, there was a workout show called Buns of Steel—but today’s episode isn’t about glutes. It’s about something far more important to your influence, your relationships, and your leadership: your “Buts of Steel.”  Not the muscles - the frames your language creates.  Two tiny one-syllable words—and and but—decide what the brain focuses on, how people interpret your message, and whether a conversation opens up…or shuts down. These words can: shift emotional tone, start or stop arguments, open or close partnerships, encourage honesty or shut it down, help a leader receive information—or block it out. This episode dives into how “but” acts like a spotlight + eraser in neurolinguistic programming and why “and” allows two truths to coexist. More importantly, it shows how using “but” repeatedly can harden into a pattern—a pattern that becomes a habit— and that habit becomes how people experience you. That’s what Dr. Tori calls A “But of Steel. 🔍 The Three Ugly Buts (and How They Derail Influence) 1. Compliment → BUT → Critique “You did a great job… but the ending felt rushed.” Effect:  The compliment gets erased. The critique becomes the only thing that lands. Fix:  “You did a great job and it was a little rushed at the end.” Both truths survive. 2. Acknowledge → BUT → Dismiss “I get what you’re saying… but that’s not how we do things around here.” Effect:  This is the death spiral of leadership. It quietly shuts down ideas, creativity, dissent, and psychological safety. Repeated often enough, people stop coming to you entirely—no matter how “open-door” you claim to be. This is one of the most dangerous “Buts of Steel.” 3. Intention → BUT → Obstacle (Self-Talk) “I want to write more… but I’m never motivated.” “I want to eat healthier… but the snack bar at work is full of junk.” Effect:  You negate your own intention and center the obstacle. You shine a spotlight on why you can’t take action instead of why you should. This keeps you stuck—and often convinces you the problem is external. 🌟 The Three Beautiful Buts (When ‘But’ Is the RIGHT Tool) “But” isn’t always the villain. Used intentionally, it creates necessary rigid frames—your real Buts of Steel.   1. Setting Boundaries “I know you’re frustrated, but we don’t speak to our employees that way.” This is clarity + protection. A “but” here creates safety. 2. Clarifying Non-Negotiables A recent example Dr. Tori shares: A contract for a speaking engagement included an extreme IP clause. He responded (appropriately) with a but to draw an unmistakable line. “But” is the right choice when something cannot be compromised. 3. Reaffirming Values & Ethics “I know everyone’s feeling pressure, but when we cut corners, we make things dangerous.” Here, “but” reinforces standards and raises the conversation back to values. When ethics or safety are at stake, a firm ‘but’ is leadership.  💥 Why “But” Creates Steel Frames Dr. Tori explains that: “But” erases what came before. “But” highlights what comes after. “But” breaks a frame and replaces it with a new one. Repeated “buts” become patterns, and patterns become habits. In leadership or parenting, these habits define what others feel safe sharing with you. If you consistently use “but” to negate emotions, ideas, or intentions, people learn: “Don’t bring things to them—they won’t really hear you.”  Conversely, when used deliberately in the right moments, “but” becomes a necessary tool for clarity, boundaries, and ethics. 🧪 Three Experiments for This Week Dr. Tori gives three simple, high-impact experiments for you to try: 1. Swap One “Yeah, but…” for a “Yes, and…” Do it once this week—especially in writing (email or text), where tone is easiest to misinterpret. 2. Flip Compliment → BUT → Critique into Critique → BUT → Compliment Still use “but,” but reverse the order: “It was a little rushed at the end, but overall it was phenomenal.” This preserves the praise instead of erasing it. 3. Use “But” to Set One Boundary Try a single clear, healthy boundary using “but.” Practice making the frame firm without being harsh or hostile. 🎯 Final Warning — and an Invitation If you mindlessly use “but,” you risk forging ugly Buts of Steel—rigid frames that accidentally shut down connection, truth, creativity, and collaboration. But if you use it intentionally, you can create beautiful Buts of Steel—the kind that set boundaries, reinforce values, and strengthen relationships. If you found this episode helpful… Share it with someone who needs better “buts,” better frames, and better conversations. Check out HypnoticGiftsBook.com for Dr. Tori’s framework for transformational conversations. Or apply for coaching to master influence at a deeper level.  

Episode 065 - Spiritual Math and the Nate Jones Effect What if the good you do doesn’t stop when you do it? In this episode, Dr. Ed Tori reflects on a powerful discovery: a newspaper article from 1995 that his late mother had saved - a story about his college t-shirt fundraisers that raised thousands for charity. Hidden in the article was a forgotten thread: he had once donated in the name of a 7-year-old boy named Nate Jones, who had raised $100 for a homeless shelter. Decades later, that act reemerged - shaping reflection, identity, and a concept Dr. Tori’s mentor would later call “The Nate Jones Effect.”  🔢 The Idea of Spiritual Math Some math can’t be done on paper. The smallest good can ripple through: Identities - A child who gives learns who he is. Communities - A stranger multiplies the act in his name. Generations - Children decades later read about it and are moved to do good. The lesson: good doesn’t just add up; it compounds - invisibly, exponentially, sometimes beyond your lifetime. 💡 Reflection Prompts Who is your “Nate Jones”? Who quietly moved you to do something good? When was the last time you multiplied someone else’s goodness instead of just admiring it? How might your unseen acts be shaping someone’s story right now - someone you’ll never meet? 🧭 Key Takeaway We often look for proof of our impact - reports, outcomes, numbers. But spiritual math lives in the ripples: in the people inspired, the words repeated, the habits that echo. You may never see the results, but the ledger is real. Keep doing good - the math is already working in your favor. 🪞Quote from the Episode “What if every ripple of good that spreads from your actions is written down - every life touched, every story sparked, every unseen echo? That’s spiritual math.” 🧩 Apply the Nate Jones Effect This week: Notice a small good act by someone else. Multiply it - anonymously, in their name. Let it ripple. 🔗 Resources Mentioned HypnoticGiftsBook.com - A framework for transforming lives through a single conversation. DrTori.com/coaching-application-1on1 - Apply for personal influence coaching with Dr. Tori.

Episode 064 - Solace in the Lost & Found  The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori  Show Notes Loss changes the rhythm of life. It reshapes conversations, rewires memories, and redefines silence. But hidden inside grief is often a quiet invitation - to carry forward what was best in the one we’ve lost. In this episode, Dr. Ed Tori shares a powerful conversational frame that helps others (and ourselves) move not on from loss, but with it. It begins with true listening - TING - the kind of listening that uses your whole presence. From that deep attention, something extraordinary can happen. Here’s the simple, human pattern: Listen wholly. Not to fix. Not to fill silence. Just to hold space. Notice permission signals. When someone shifts from facts to stories, they’re inviting depth. Spot the light. When they describe a beautiful trait of the one they’ve lost - pause there. Invite expansion. “Tell me more about how they made others feel loved.” Honor it. Acknowledge its beauty. Sit in it for a beat. Then, gently reframe. “If you were to bring a little more of that into your own life, what might that look like?” It’s not about replacing or distracting from grief. It’s about transformation through continuation - helping someone find the living thread of their loved one in the acts and traits they admired most. Grief doesn’t have to be the end of connection. It can be a new beginning of carrying forward what was good, kind, and true. Reflection Prompt:  Think of someone you’ve lost. What was their superpower? What would it look like if you paid it forward - even once this week? Resources Mentioned:  TING - The Art of Listening  HypnoticGiftsBook.com - Discover how to transform someone’s life in a single conversation DrTori.com/coaching-application-1on1 - For 1:1 influence immersion coaching Takeaway:  We honor those we’ve lost not by moving on - but by moving with them, through every act of kindness we continue in their name.

Here are the compelling show notes for Episode 063 – “The Social Media Post I Was Too Scared to Post” of The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori. These are designed to stand alone—providing value even if someone never hits play. 🎙️ EPISODE 063: The Social Media Post I Was Too Scared to Send What punctuation, perception, and perspective have to do with your past—and your power.  A single sentence. Six words. No context. woman - without - her - man - is - nothing Which is it? Woman without her man is nothing. Woman: Without her, man is nothing. In today’s episode, Dr. Ed Tori explores how the placement of punctuation - in language and in life - radically alters meaning. We punctuate our experiences all the time: “That failure ended everything.” “That failure… led to everything.” Same events. Different punctuation. Entirely different life. 🟡 Here’s What You’ll Learn (Even Without Listening): Punctuation isn’t grammar - it’s power. The same words, when punctuated differently, can inspire, insult, or transform. Every email you read, every text you skim, every sentence you judge - reveals more about you than the sender.  The meaning of your memories often hinges not on what happened, but where you pause, what you emphasize, and how you tell the story.  Coaches, therapists, and wise friends don’t change your life. They change your punctuation.  You can do the same for others - in one single conversation. 🪶 A Thought to Take With You: “How you punctuate your experiences will change your entire life.” 🛠️ Apply This Today: Re-read a text or email that upset you. What assumptions did you make? What if the sender emphasized something different? Choose a past failure or difficult memory. Try re-punctuating it. Where else could the pause have been? What might it have led to? Pay attention to the voice inside your head: What are you emphasizing? What are you minimizing? 🔗 Links & Next Steps: 💬 Learn how to shift lives through conversation: HypnoticGiftsBook.com 🧠 Work with Dr. Tori 1-on-1: Coaching Application  

Episode 062: One Thought That Could Change Your Entire Week The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori  What if your week could be transformed by one simple mental shift? In this episode, Dr. Ed Tori poses a deceptively powerful question: “How different would your week be if you pretended everyone you met was sent to teach you something?”  From annoying coworkers to passive-aggressive emails… from toddler tantrums to micromanagers… from Lyft drivers to your own children - this episode unpacks how adopting a “curious student” frame in everyday interactions can unlock surprising insight, emotional mastery, and even life-changing wisdom. This isn’t just mindset work. It’s moment-by-moment training in influence, communication, and presence. In this episode, you’ll explore: How friction can become feedback (and feedback can become fuel) Why a 5-star Uber driver changed how Ed approaches every conversation  What criticism at the dinner table might really be offering you The leadership lesson hiding inside micromanagement A profound insight Ed’s mom got from a 5-year-old version of him A practice you can start today that will change how people respond to you forever Challenge: For the next 7 days, pretend every person you meet - friend, stranger, critic, or child - is there to teach you something. Ask yourself: “What’s the lesson here?” Like the show? Leave a ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ review on your favorite podcasting platform Share this episode with a friend who’s facing a challenging week Subscribe so you never miss a chance to influence for good   “Pretend the next person you meet is there to teach you something. Are you ready to learn?”

 Episode 061 – Don’t Underestimate That Merch: It’s More Than a Gift The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori    Ever found yourself having a vivid memory or insight for no obvious reason? In this episode, Dr. Ed Tori shares a moment at a red light that turned into a masterclass on non-conscious triggers, nostalgia, and the power of placing ideas in your line of sight. From merch to memory to mastery, this episode explores why deliberate reminders—like card decks, sticky notes, or swag—can shape behavior, improve communication, and even transform lives. If you’re an author, coach, speaker, or leader looking to package your ideas for real-world impact—don’t skip this one. In This Episode, You’ll Discover: How a GPS label triggered a nostalgic wave and why that matters The neuroscience behind “top of mind = tip of tongue” The two ways to create real-world behavioral triggers How Dr. Tori’s card decks became “theft-worthy” reminders for leaders Why merch, swag, and tchotchkes are more than gifts—they’re influence tools Timestamps: 00:00 – The red light memory: how non-conscious cues work 01:45 – The role of visual anchors and everyday nostalgia 02:30 – “Top of mind = tip of tongue” and why it matters for influence 03:20 – Why Dr. Tori makes card decks and what they’re really for 04:15 – A leader’s hidden use of his cards (and why it matters) 05:30 – The merch mindset: how to make your ideas part of someone else’s daily life 06:45 – The big takeaway: curate your cues and influence your habits 07:15 – Systematize your triggers, influence your future 💥 Ready to Build a Life of Daily Influence? Whether you’re shaping behavior in your home, your company, or your content—deliberate reminders can be game-changers. Want to turn your ideas into influence tools people keep on their desks, pin to their walls, and refer to before tough conversations? 📬 Join the InfluenceBookClub.com

Here’s a draft of compelling show notes for episode 060 based on your transcript: 060 – Making an A– of Yourself During Small Talk  The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori  Small talk is deeply misunderstood. It’s often labeled as fake, pointless, or awkward - but what if those beliefs are just assumptions holding you back from genuine connection? In this episode, Dr. Ed Tori dismantles the limiting beliefs that make small talk feel like a chore and reframes it as one of the most powerful tools for building rapport and unlocking deeper conversations. Discover how to: Identify and challenge your hidden assumptions that make small talk feel inauthentic. Use small talk as a “hallway of doors” to find genuine connect points. Shift your focus from being interesting to being interested.  Navigate small talk to skillfully warm up conversations and avoid awkward jumps into “too deep, too soon.” Exit conversations gracefully when needed - without damaging rapport. If you’ve ever felt like you “just aren’t good at small talk,” this episode will help you turn that belief on its head - and maybe change how you connect with everyone you meet. Links & Resources Hypnotic Gifts: How to Change Someone’s Life in a Single Conversation – Explore Dr. Tori’s upcoming book and framework for life-changing conversations. Prior Episode: 012 (Not So) Small Talk and the Gold Rush Connect on LinkedIn – Join the conversation and gain more daily influence insights.

Episode 059: Conversation - Nearby But Not Yet Engaged  The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Tori Influence begins before a single word is spoken. Your presence, actions, and energy in the “nearby but not engaged” space are already shaping how others perceive you. This often-overlooked stage of interaction is where silent impressions form—and they can be more powerful than anything you say later. In this episode, Dr. Ed Tori explores how to master this subtle yet critical phase of influence. You’ll learn: Why “it starts before it begins” is a game-changing principle for conversations, meetings, and networking. How small, authentic gestures—like holding a door, picking up trash, or simply showing patience—radiate character and draw people toward you. Ways to deliberately influence others nonverbally, just by how you carry yourself in public spaces. How the pickup artist concept of “pre-selection” (minus the sleaze) shows the power of being observed in positive interactions. Why being intentional in moments of waiting—at the grocery line, before a meeting, or even on public transport—sets the stage for better engagement. The secret? Build a magnetic presence by perfecting your character. When who you are shines in those unspoken moments, you create trust and rapport before the conversation even starts. Links and Resources:  Get Dr. Tori’s book: HypnoticGiftsBook.com Apply for 1:1 Influence Immersion Coaching Join the Influence Book Club Listen now and learn how to influence powerfully—without saying a word. 

Here are compelling show notes for episode 058 of The Influence Every Day Show: Episode 058 – Roll Up Your Sleeves and Dig Into the Context  The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori When we strip away context, we strip away meaning - and often, we misjudge what’s in front of us. In this powerful episode, Dr. Ed Tori shares a deeply personal story: his mother’s recent hospitalization. On paper, her condition might seem dire. But a single sentence changed the room every time: “Just seven days ago, she was on my deck writing her fifth book.” That one line reframed the entire situation for nurses, doctors, and therapists alike - and it lit a fire of urgency, hope, and action. This episode isn’t just about a medical scare - it’s a masterclass in influence. You’ll learn: Why context is the gateway to compassion and accurate decision-making How repeating a key narrative can ripple through systems and shift outcomes The subtle power of anchoring people in a story - not just a snapshot Why your words can either lower the bar or raise the standard If you lead, teach, care for others, or solve problems for a living - this is essential listening. Influence starts not with advice, but with understanding. Want to transform conversations and influence ethically every day?  Get the free book: HypnoticGiftsBook.com Apply for 1-on-1 coaching: DrTori.com/coaching-application-1on1

Episode 057 - Stop Trying to Change Your Emotions With Other Emotions The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Tori  When you’re stuck in a spiral of self-judgment, regret, or overwhelm, the typical advice is to feel something different - to force your way into gratitude, joy, or peace. But here’s the truth: emotions don’t change emotions. Actions do. (Frames and contexts can too, but let's focus on action...) In this episode, Dr. Ed Tori dismantles the myth that emotional states can be shifted by sheer force of will. You’ll discover: Why saying “I should” or “I need to” or "I should just be" only deepens emotional ruts The reason “Don’t worry, be happy” is terrible advice What to do instead when you’re stuck, spiraling, or snapping at others How to leverage behaviors, not feelings, to shift into more resourceful states A powerful real-world coaching story about emotional spirals, calendar design, and strategic behavior change You’ll also get an introduction to a practical framework for influence that includes States, Frames, Patterns, and Contexts - and why you don’t fix a state problem in the state bucket. Free Resource: DrTori.com/101 Download 101 practical actions to manage your state - no email required. Ready to change your day, your impact, or your relationship?  Stop wrestling with your emotions. Take action instead.   Rate & review the show, share it with someone who needs it, and explore more tools at DrTori.com Want to go deeper? Grab the free book at HypnoticGiftsBook.com

056 - Bruh, That Hits Different The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori Why What You Hear Isn’t Just About What’s Said Ever notice how two people can hear the exact same thing - and walk away with totally different interpretations? It’s not just about who you’re listening to. It’s about where you’re listening from.   Are you listening from stress or stillness? From judgment or curiosity? From ego or compassion?   That preposition shift - from “listening to” to “listening from” - changes everything. It sheds light on your filters. It reframes your reality. And it gives you the power to control how things land - even when the message stays the same.   In this episode, you’ll explore: How your internal state frames what you hear Why ego, fear, and blame distort conversations How to shift into more powerful frames - like service, love, or gratitude A simple phrase that reveals the truth: “It hits different because you showed up different.”   Whether it’s a high-stakes meeting, a tough email, or walking through your front door—you shape the experience by how you listen.  Mentioned: HypnoticGiftsBook.com - Free book: How to Transform Someone’s Life in a Single Conversation  Apply for 1-on-1 Coaching

Episode 055 – That Moment the Light Comes On The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori There’s a reason people run back to their comfort zone. The darkness is familiar. Safe. Predictable. But what if the pain you feel when the light comes on isn’t a signal to retreat—but an invitation to awaken? This episode is about that precise moment: when you get a glimpse of a better version of your life, your work, your relationships… and you flinch. You’ll be challenged to examine the things you keep running back to: A toxic relationship. An outdated self-image. The excuse that keeps you stuck. The “almost ready” project collecting dust. And you’ll be asked to do one brave thing: sit with the discomfort just long enough to see the world clearly.  This is your sign. The light is already on. Will you look? If this spoke to you, send it to someone who needs to hear it.  And if you’re finally ready to turn your influence into action, explore the free resources and coaching opportunities linked below. HypnoticGiftsBook.com – Learn how to transform someone’s life in a single conversation Apply for 1:1 Coaching – Influence immersion with Dr. Tori

Certainly. Here’s a set of compelling show notes for your episode: 054 No Amount of Guilt. No Amount of Worry. Episode 054 - Influence Every Day with Dr. Ed Tori  “No amount of guilt can change the past. No amount of worry can change the future.” So why do we keep living in both? In this episode, Dr. Ed Tori unpacks a 1400-year-old quote from Umar ibn al-Khattab - a timeless framework for navigating regret, anxiety, self-compassion, and trust in the midst of responsibility. You’ll explore: Why guilt is powerless to rewrite what’s already been written. How worry masquerades as preparation while robbing you of peace. What it actually means to “go easy on yourself” - and why it’s not about giving up. The difference between outcomes and obligations - and how that distinction fuels purposeful action. What to do when you feel like something should have been yours… but wasn’t. This episode is more than reflection - it’s a reset. For your thoughts. For your effort. For your peace of mind. Whether you’re haunted by a past moment or bracing yourself for a future one, this conversation brings you back to the only place you have any power: right now.  Resources Mentioned:  Hypnotic Gifts - Free Book: Learn how to transform someone’s life in a single conversation. 1-on-1 Influence Immersion with Dr. Tori: Apply to work directly with Dr. Tori and elevate your influence and communication. If this episode resonated with you:  Share it with someone who’s carrying guilt or worry. Leave a review so others can discover the show. And remember: You’re responsible for your effort - not the outcome. Go forth. And influence for good. Every day. 

Episode 053: Time and People – Ambient Influence & Deliberate Impact The Insight You Didn’t Know You Needed: There’s a massive difference between the people you spend time with and the time you spend with people. One shapes who you’re becoming. The other shapes how others become after encountering you. In this episode, Dr. Ed Tori breaks down two deceptively similar phrases that hold the keys to your influence, your relationships, and your legacy. You’ll learn why being intentional about your proximity—and your presence—is one of the most powerful things you can do. In This Episode: Why “ambient influence” is silently shaping you every day The Jim Rohn quote you’ve heard—but redefined How to stop being the echo of your environment and start becoming the architect of your impact Why 10 seconds of intentional presence can outweigh an hour of surface-level interaction The single question to ask before every conversation: Who walks into the room when I walk into the room? Quote Worth Sharing: “It’s not about the duration of time—it’s about the depth of presence.” Bonus Resources: Get the Hypnotic Gifts framework – Learn how to transform someone’s life in a single conversation Join the Influence Book Club – Get the best insights from the best books on influence, curated by Dr. Tori If this episode moved you: Share it with someone who needs to hear it Leave a quick review—it helps others find the show Influence for good. Every day.

  🎙️ Episode 052 – It Starts Long Before You Show Up The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori  What shows up when you show up? In today’s reflective and practical episode, Dr. Ed Tori breaks down a principle that quietly governs every great interaction, relationship, and result: 👉 It starts before it begins.  Whether you’re leading a meeting, pitching a client, parenting your kids, or changing your life—success hinges on what happens long before the moment itself. From managing your state… to prepping your message… to building skills… to shaping your character… influence begins long before you speak a single word. 🧠 In this episode, you’ll discover: Why managing your state is not the deepest layer of preparation The four layers that influence outcomes—before you even enter the room How character isn’t just what you have, it’s what shows up  A practical reframe that connects emotional regulation, preparation, skill, and identity What makes a powerful first impression in a world full of authenticity detectors If you’ve ever wondered why some people seem to radiate influence the moment they arrive… this episode gives you the roadmap. 🔗 Links & Resources: 💡 HypnoticGiftsBook.com — Transform someone’s life in a single conversation. 📚 InfluenceBookClub.com — Master the best books on influence, one month at a time. Loved this episode?  Pay it forward. Rate, review, and share the show with someone who influences for good—or wants to.

  Episode 051: A Short Rambling on Time and Gratitude  The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori  🕰️ What if time isn’t just something you spend… but something you shape? In this unscripted, heartfelt episode, Dr. Ed Tori reflects on how we experience time—not just in fleeting moments, but in beads, strings, chapters, and eras. Inspired by a wedding anniversary, the coloring of a weekly life box, and meaningful family conversations, Ed invites you to pause… and see time differently.  Through the lens of influence and gratitude, this short episode will challenge you to: Rethink how your life is unfolding Reconnect with people who matter Reframe your past—not to rewrite it, but to reclaim it Reach out before the moment slips away This is more than a reflection. It’s a quiet call to action. 🔑 In This Episode: Why moments can pivot an entire life How beads of time create meaningful experiences The concept of strings—the threads that quietly weave our story Defining chapters and seasons of life with deeper clarity A gratitude practice that bridges past, present, and possibility 📌 These Might Help You: Hypnotic Gifts – How to change someone’s life in a single conversation Influence Book Club – Join the club, build the skill, live the impact ✅ Take Action: Before your next meeting, message, or moment—pause and reflect: What thread are you in right now? Who from your past made a mark on you? What chapter are you grateful for—even if it hurt? Then, go create a moment worth remembering.

🎙️ Episode 050 — Three Times We See Better Without Looking  The Influence Every Day Show with Dr. Ed Tori  ---- “When we change the way we see things, the things we see change.” — Max Planck Sometimes, the key to seeing more clearly… is to stop looking so hard. In this episode, Dr. Ed Tori explores a surprising truth: there are moments when we actually see better without directly focusing on what’s in front of us. From stargazing and puzzle-solving to elite-level sports and high-stakes conversations, the way we use our eyes says a lot about how we move through the world—and how we influence others in it. You’ll learn: 🌓 Why looking slightly off to the side can help you see in the dark. 👀 How squinting can sharpen your perception by blurring the details. 🌐 What “soft eyes” are—and why they’re a secret weapon for leaders, athletes, artists, and everyday communicators. 🔄 How shifting your perception (literally and metaphorically) can transform your relationships and your influence. This isn’t just about vision—it’s about vision. Seeing others differently. Seeing challenges differently. Seeing yourself differently. 💡 Key Takeaway:  The greatest shifts in influence often begin by shifting your perspective.   📌 Resources & Links:  🔗 Hypnotic Gifts Book – Pivot someone’s life in a single conversation. 📅 Book a Strategy Call – Get help with your toughest communication challenge. 📚 Join the Influence Book Club – Get Dr. Tori’s distilled insights from the world’s best books on influence and communication. 🎧 Share:  If today’s episode helped you see something differently, share it with someone who needs that shift. You never know who you might influence—just by passing it on.