Heal Your Relationships

Most conversations about relationships focus on how to fix things,how to communicate better, repair conflict, or understand each other more deeply.All of that is important…but if we stay only in the pastor only in the problems of the present,we miss one of the most beautiful parts of being in relationship:Dreaming together.This applies to every relationship — not just romantic ones.Your spouse, your parent, your best friend, your sibling, even a colleague you feel close to.Relationships aren’t just about surviving or managing life together anymore.In our modern world, we don’t relate because we need someone.We relate because we want to build something meaningful together.And when we never dream together, we slowly lose sight of the future we’re trying to create.In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I introduce a new monthly segment I’m calling a RelationTIP, a small but powerful practice you can bring into your relationships right away.This month’s RelationTIP is simple, heart-opening, and surprisingly connecting:Dream together -> through vision boarding.Not as a rigid “goal-setting exercise,”but as a playful, intuitive way to discover what your heart is cravingand what your loved one’s heart is craving too.Sometimes, your dreams will surprise you.Sometimes, the act of dreaming together is the deeper gift —because it shifts your focus from “fixing the past”to “building something meaningful for the future.”And your relationship grows simply from that process.In this episode:01:14 — Why recording this podcast is the highlight of my week01:47 — What I mean by a “RelationTIP”02:38 — Today’s RelationTIP: Dream together03:14 — Why we have relationships in the modern world05:00 — Vision boarding as a tool for connection08:39 — My recent experience with vision boarding (and what surprised me)12:37 — Allowing yourself to dream in all your relationshipsTry one change this week:Choose someone you love — your partner, your mom, your best friend — and spend 15 minutes vision boarding together.No overthinking.No analyzing.Just clip whatever speaks to you.Then look at what you each created.You might discover something new about each other…and about yourself.Your relationship will deepen simply because you dreamed together.🗣️ Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... 👉 You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):  Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛 If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> 

Have you ever noticed how, in certain seasons of life, several people around you seem to struggle in their relationships all at once? Almost like these things move in waves?Sometimes these couples are good people with good intentions — people who genuinely care, but simply don’t have the tools or perspectives to navigate conflict or connection. Those situations are painful, but they’re fixable with the right support.And other times… when the situation is not “a rough patch.”It’s a bad relationship.There are behaviors that make the relationship feel heavy, tense, or unsafe...And patterns that leave you feeling small, tense, or on edge…And despite the pain, the fear, and the exhaustion — people stay.So the real question is:Why do we stay in relationships that are hurting us? Why do we work so hard to hold onto someone who isn’t good for us? Why does being alone feel scarier than staying?In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I break down the three core reasons we stay stuck in toxic or deeply dysfunctional dynamics.These reasons are not about weakness.They’re not about failure.They are about psychology, attachment, and emotional survival.And once you understand them, you can finally begin to heal your patterns instead of repeating them.Timestamps:01:35 — A birthday week reflection02:26 — When “good people” struggle in relationships (and why it’s fixable)03:20 — When it’s more than conflict — it’s abuse04:29 — My definition of a toxic relationship05:33 — Why people stay in bad relationships for years06:53 — Reason #1: Anxious attachment11:59 — Reason #2: Trauma bonding15:40 — Reason #3: Fear of abandonment17:57 — How all three lead to low self-esteem19:00 — The stories we tell ourselves to justify staying21:12 — How our programs and events help you heal these patternsTry one change this week:If you’re in a relationship that feels painful or stuck, gently ask yourself:“Which of these three patterns am I living out?”Not to shame yourself.Not to force a decision.But to speak the truth to yourself — the first and most essential step in healing.This episode is not about telling you to stay or leave.It’s about naming what’s real so you can finally choose your next step from clarity instead of fear.If this episode gives you even one moment of recognition or self-compassion, it has done its job.Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... 🗣️You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!): 👉 Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛 If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun...

Whenever we stand at the edge of a fresh start — a new year, a new season, a birthday, or even a random Monday when we’re just done with our old patterns — we tend to make big promises to ourselves.We write goals, buy planners, and decide we’re finally going to “be different this time.”And then, a few weeks later… most of it fizzles.For years, I believed this happened because of a lack of discipline or structure.But the truth?We all have incredible discipline for the things that truly matter to us.You don’t forget to care about your child.You don’t forget to check in on someone you love.You don’t forget the things that feel deeply connected to who you want to be.So the real question becomes:How do we bring that same energy — the energy of “this matters” — into the habits we want to change?That’s what this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships is all about.I’ll walk you through a gentle, loving, deeply effective process for changing habits — one that works far better than discipline, grit, or self-reprimand.It’s based on your values, not willpower.Because when something aligns with your values, it stops feeling like a chore… and starts feeling like a natural extension of who you are becoming.Timestamps:00:55 — Why Thursdays are my favorite day (connecting with you)01:41 — The January “change energy” and why it fizzles02:31 — We’re disciplined in what genuinely matters04:11 — How values direct our energy and identity05:06 — Real-life examples of values shaping choices08:09 — Using values to take on a new habit11:05 — Building “bridges” between the habits you love and the ones you resist12:59 — A practical writing exercise to transform any habitTry one change this week:Instead of forcing discipline, ask:“What value of mine is this habit connected to?”Then write 20–30 “bridges” — reasons why this new habit strengthens something you already care deeply about.You’ll feel the resistance soften.This episode is an invitation to step off the self-punishment roller coaster and into a more loving, realistic, deeply human way of growing. If it brings you one moment of relief, clarity, or self-kindness, it has done its job.Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... 🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):👉Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. 💛If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

Some days feel strangely effortless.You wake up, the weather is on your side, your coffee tastes like a café masterpiece, your coworkers are sunshine, your kid glides through the night routine without a single battle, and your partner even prepares your favorite dinner — a true 100/10 day.And then there are the other days — the days when every light turns red, every person seems crabby, and everything feels just a little too heavy.We all have both kinds of days. Many of them. For the rest of our lives. So I want to offer you something important:Whatever kind of day you’re having today… you are not alone.There is nothing “wrong” with you for feeling overwhelmed, tender, or exhausted. In fact, those are often the exact moments when a quiet, painful question shows up in the back of your mind — the one I talk about in this week’s episode.It's The Unanswerable Question, that quiet question that appears when you’re hurt, disappointed, or let down. It’s the question that pokes at an old wound — the one you’ve asked a hundred times, even though no amount of evidence ever seems to answer it.Timestamps:00:44 — You are not alone: grounding yourself on hard days 01:44 — What is the “Unanswerable Question”? 03:39 — When this question gets triggered 05:14 — How old wounds shape present-day reactions 06:42 — Common unanswerable questions we all carry 08:42 — Our go-to patterns when the question shows up 09:43 — Why no one else can answer this question for you 11:07 — How to begin answering it from withinTry one change this week: Notice what question shows up in your mind when you feel hurt or forgotten.Just watching it — without believing it — creates the space you need to respond differently.This episode is my way of sitting beside you on those hard days, naming that question out loud, and helping you hold it with a little more understanding and compassion. And if this episode brings you one breath of relief or one moment of clarity, it has done its job.Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...  🗣️You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!): 👉Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.  💛If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

Hey friend,“Do I need therapy or a coach?”If you’ve asked that, you’ve probably heard the hot takes: Coaching is dangerous. Therapy is stuck in the past.Here’s my take after living in both worlds: there isn’t a single “right” path. There’s your path.Different seasons need different tools. The right choice depends on where you are, what you want, and how quickly you need support.In this week’s episode, I map what each does beautifully, what each tends to miss (especially around the body and nervous system), where they overlap, and three questions to help you decide your next best step.Timestamps:01:50 — The two worlds I belong to (and how the blend helps clients)03:01 — Why my approach is different04:37 — Therapy in one sentence07:12 — Why there’s no “right vs wrong” here10:59 — What therapy often misses (and why tools on top of old patterns fail under stress)14:21 — What coaching often misses (rigor, equity, and trauma focus)17:59 — Meds can be lifesaving—why they’re a start, not the finish19:30 — 3 questions to choose therapist vs coach (functioning, outcome, speed)If this episode brings clarity, and if someone in your world is deciding between therapy and coaching, please forward this to them. 💛Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...  🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):  👉Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

How do you react when someone cuts you off in traffic?Or when they roll their eyes at something you said?Annoyed? Hurt? Withdrawn? Maybe you try to fix it right away?We all have that one reaction when we feel poked and boom. Your nervous system takes over.Some of us will fight back.Some run away.Some freeze.And some… try to please.I call these our “F” types — and once you know yours, it changes everything.In this week’s episode, we talk about:Why triggers hijack your body before your mind catches upThe 4 F-types (Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn)How awareness starts to rewire your reactions for calm and connection.This episode is one of those that leaves you saying, “Ohhh… that’s why I do that.” Ready to spot your F-type in real time? Timestamps:02:12 — What is your “F” type, and why it matters03:51 — What triggers are and how they work05:38 — Are triggers all about memories? My take09:11 — First step to relaxing the triggered nervous system09:48 — The four “F” types, explained10:07 — F-Type #1: Fight11:13 — F-Type #2: Flight14:19 — F-Type #4: Fawn (where it shows up most)Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...  🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):  👉Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

If you’ve ever wondered why healing can feel so hard—why it sometimes feels like one step forward and two steps back—you’re not alone.For a long time, I thought I could heal by reading enough books, journaling more, or simply “being strong.” I believed that if I just worked hard enough on myself, I could finally move on from the past.But the truth is… you cannot heal alone. None of us can.Healing is not a straight line—it’s a journey that unfolds in six essential phases.Each one asks something different of us: courage, surrender, curiosity, community, embodiment, and eventually, reinvention.And when we begin to see where we are in that journey, everything starts to make sense.In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I’m walking you through:What each of these six phases looks likeWhy we get “stuck” in certain stages (and how to move through them)Why true healing requires community and belongingHow to make your healing journey a priority—without suffering through itThese six phases changed the way I see my own past, my relationships, and even my purpose—and I hope they’ll do the same for you.Timestamps:0:00 Why healing feels so hard — and why you can’t do it alone04:44 Phase 1: The emotionally reactive stage (and the moment that sparks change)07:28 Phase 2: Gathering information — why learning is only the beginning09:46 Phase 3: Finding community and belonging — the real key to lasting change14:04 Phase 4: Embodied healing — when your nervous system finally feels safe15:32 Phase 5: Practicing your true self in real life17:19 Phase 6: Reinvention — living as your healed, whole self19:22 Reflection prompts to help you see where you are in your own healing journeyOh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...  🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):  👉Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

So many of us quietly believe that permanent healing isn’t possible — that we’ll always feel “a little bit broken,” or that we’ll have to keep managing the same patterns forever.But that’s not true.Healing isn’t meant to be a series of Band-Aids — a few therapy sessions here, a meditation retreat there, a burst of self-care when things get hard. Those things can help… but only for a while.Real, lasting healing begins when you stop patching symptoms and start addressing what’s underneath — the parts of you that are protecting the wound, the nervous system patterns that keep looping, and the way those inner imbalances show up in your relationships.In this week’s episode of Your Brain on Trauma, I’m sharing my No More Band-Aids model — a framework I use with my clients to help them access deep, permanent healing.You’ll learn:Why temporary fixes can actually keep you stuckThe three ingredients that create real, lasting change: mind, body, and loveHow Internal Family Systems, polyvagal theory, and somatic work come together to rewire old trauma loopsWhy healing your inner world is the key to safe, authentic relationshipsTimestamps:02:16 “No More Band-Aids”: why quick fixes don’t work06:29 The three ingredients of permanent healing (Mind–Body–Love)07:55 IFS explained: protectors, exiles & Self13:27 Nervous system work: polyvagal & somatic basics16:23 Relationships as a mirror; authentic communication20:46 Putting it together: the path to lasting changeIf you’ve been trying to “fix” yourself and wondering why it never lasts, this episode will show you what’s been missing.Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...  🗣️ You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):  👉Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

We often talk about hope as something beautiful — a light that helps us keep going when things are hard.Yet there’s a moment when hope shifts from fuel to delay, and that same light becomes a flashlight we point away from what needs our attention.We keep hoping they’ll change. That work will calm down. That time will fix it.We keep waiting, praying, manifesting…Days turn into months, and our nervous system learns avoidance disguised as optimism.That’s when hope stops healing — and starts holding us in place.The truth is, a lot of times we use hope as a way to avoid responsibility — hoping someone else will change, that things will magically get better, or that time alone will heal.That’s what I call toxic hope.And toxic hope is one of the biggest reasons for suffering in this world.In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I’m unpacking what happens when hope turns from a force of healing into a form of denial — and how to step into what I call the messy middle:the real, uncomfortable, deeply human space where true healing begins.You’ll hear:The subtle difference between healthy hope and toxic hopeHow avoidance and fear disguise themselves as faithWhat “the messy middle” actually looks like — and why it’s where transformation really happensA personal story from my own family that changed how I see hope foreverIf you’ve been waiting for a sign to stop waiting — this is it.Timestamps:00:00 Behind the scenes: creation mode and the heart behind this work03:07 What “toxic hope” really means (and why it keeps us suffering)04:15 The danger of waiting for someone else to save you06:12 A personal story: my father’s passing and the lesson of denial09:05 How toxic hope shows up in everyday life12:22 A client story about addiction, fear, and postponing the truth16:03 Toxic hope in relationships — avoiding hard conversations19:05 You are the answer you’ve been waiting forOh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.  If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

Have you ever left a conversation feeling different—calmer, clearer, braver?The right words at the right moment can change how we see ourselves and the people we love. This week I’m unpacking six talks that rewired my inner compass and how they became practical lenses for everyday life: seeing myself with more compassion, choosing without fear of the “wrong” choice, meeting hard moments with steadiness, and showing up better in my relationships.Tune in and borrow the lens you need today.Here’s a taste of what’s inside:A friend’s reframe that turned “too much” energy into a giftA perspective shift on being an immigrant: one home or two?Seeing a parent with compassion (and what that unlocked)A decision-making mantra that ends analysis paralysisWisdom from a 3-year-old about being okay—even when sadA tender rule from my mother-in-law: grumpy needs the most lovingListen in if you want gentle, practical ways to meet your life—with more grace.Timestamps00:00 Welcome & setting the scene01:52 What I’m sharing today: six conversations that changed my life02:36 #1 — A friend reframes my “too much” energy as a gift07:34 #2 — Immigrant reframe: not no-man’s-land… two homes11:43 #3 — My dad, trauma, and learning compassion15:02 #4 — The decision lens: “You’ll be okay either way”19:04 #5 — Wisdom from my 3-year-old: “I’m always okay”22:04 #6 — “When you’re grumpy, you need the most loving”25:36 What I hope you take from these26:33 Reviews are podcast gold (how to support)May these six conversations be the reminder that you’re already more resilient than you think.Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...  You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!): Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.  If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

Today’s episode: No White Lies White lies show up everywhere—“All good,” when it isn’t; “Five minutes,” when it’s twenty; “No worries,” when your stomach is tight. They look kind. They feel convenient. But they quietly pull you away from yourself. In this episode, I share the white lies I used to tell, how they shaped my life, and the moment I chose integrity over “easy.” You’ll learn to unpack the hidden cost of "harmless" fibs, how to spot where you use them, and why they pull you away from your true self. And lastly how honest, compassionate truth-telling becomes a lever for real healing.Timestamps04:36 What we’re exploring today05:02 Common white lies with kids09:11 Why re-examining white lies became a key lever in my healing10:11 How white lies pull you away from yourself12:39 What white lies quietly rob you of16:03 Your truth-telling challengeTry this today For the next 24 hours, practice saying the clearest true thing you can—kindly. If you’re unsure, try:“I’m not sure yet—let me get back to you.”“I’m feeling a lot; I need a moment.”“The truth is ___.”Then notice: Do you feel taller? Calmer? More you?Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...  You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):  Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.  If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

Most of us love the idea of unconditional support. We’re told it’s the gold standard because it feels warm, safe, cozy and ideal.I thought so too… until I realized it was quietly keeping me stuck.In this week’s episode: “The Downside to Unconditional Support”. I share a story from my early 30s. My therapist was kind, supportive, and warm. My sessions with her felt like “back in the womb.”Awesome, right? Isn’t that the goal?Yes, but here’s the catch: my nervous system got too relaxed. I left soothed, but my patterns didn’t change.The key: We need unconditional safety in the healing container and gentle drops of challenge so the nervous system sits in the window of tolerance where new pathways (real learning) form.In this episode, you’ll learn:The difference between unconditional safety and unconditional supportWhy growth can’t happen when you’re too comfortableHow to know if learning happened (hint: behavior changes between sessions)How to apply this in therapy, coaching, parenting, and relationshipsTimestamps02:05 Healed individuals create a ripple effect03:14 Why I’m not a fan of unconditional support03:30 Update on the in-person retreat05:12 A personal story that brought this home07:35 Why therapy felt good but didn’t create change09:43 The state in which growth cannot happen13:50 What many coaches/therapists don’t realize15:34 The only way to confirm learning16:08 Why many of us cycle in/out of therapyBringing this into parenting or partnership? Ask: Am I offering unconditional safety—and just enough challenge for growth?Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...  You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!): Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

Quick gut check. If I recorded your self-talk today, would you want to replay it for someone you love?Or think of the last hard moment with your partner, child, or colleague. Which words did you reach for first?Because you can optimize routines all day, but if your language stays the same, your results snap back.The fastest lever to move your life is the words you use.Just a small shift in the words you use can change how you feel, how you relate, and how you see your life... In this week’s episode, Power of Language, I'll share a simple exercise to help you notice the hidden patterns in your self-talk and everyday conversations.You’ll see why language is one of the most accessible levers for healing, growth, and better relationships.Try this now (it takes 3 minutes):Free-write a few paragraphs without editing.Step away, then come back and scan for three patterns:Pronouns about me (I, me, mine) vs. words of connection (we, us).Black-and-white statements vs. nuanced, gray language.Phrases of no choice (“I have to…”, “I can’t…”) vs. personal power (“I choose…”, “I will…”).  3. Notice your overall lean, then pick one area to gently shift this week.Inside the episode:01:22 A quick check-in to ground your nervous system04:13 The first lens for examining your language06:58 The second lens that reveals hidden patterns08:32 The third lens that shows where your power leaks12:57 Why rumination fuels anxiety and depression16:27 Why language is the easiest access point to changeIf you try the exercise, I’d love to hear what you notice. Hit reply and share one phrase you’re shifting this week.Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...  You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):  Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide. If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

If you have ever thought, “I should be further along by now,” I have been there.For years I did everything that looked right on paper: medical school, psychiatry training, fellowships, more certifications.And... I still did not have the tools to feel safe in my own body or steady in my closest relationships.In this week’s episode, I share the honest version of my story.What did not work for me.What finally did.And the most important one ... Why my healing is imperfect and still ongoing.Don't misunderstand me, I still get triggered...What’s different now is that I know how to return to safety, calm, and connection, without abandoning myself or the people I love.In this episode you will hear:03:41 One essential ingredient every healing journey needs13:05 How early beliefs can become trauma later in life19:58 The moment things started to change for me22:34 Why I kept repressing emotions and the cost of it27:56 Even as a psychiatrist, I did not know how to be in relationships34:15 I still get suspicious and scared, and the practice that brings me back35:14 The quickest and most permanent path I have found for real healingIf any part of my story mirrors yours, please remember this: you are not behind and you are not broken.Your path is unique and it is workable.I hope it gives you language, hope, and a few practical next steps for your own path.P.S. Content note: I briefly reference family violence and suicide from my past. If that is tender for you, choose a time and setting that feel supportive. If you need help, reach out to your local crisis resources.Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...  You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):  Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.  If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

Do you ever leave a hard conversation thinking, “How am I here again?”Or do you feel seen in therapy but the week rolls around and the same stress knocks at your door?Maybe you’re the “strong one,” the giver… and privately you’re tired.If that’s you, I made this week’s episode of Heal Your Heal Relationships for you:“Your Complaints Are a Doorway to Your Healing.”Here’s the heart of it: I don’t want you to just feel better for an hour. I want your capacity to grow so life feels different from the inside out and complaints can help us do that. Not by fixing the surface problem, but by gently showing us the root that’s asking for care.In this episode, I share a reframe I use as a physician: Think of a complaint like a fever. Comfort matters...But real healing comes from finding the source. We walk through a real example (an overwhelmed teacher who’s busy-busy-busy to avoid a deeper loneliness), and I guide you to follow your own “little tributaries” back to the lake underneath.Inside the episode:Why validation is soothing (and why it doesn’t always change tomorrow)How your recurring complaints point to subconscious core wounds (often held in the body)The “fever vs. source” lens you can use this weekA gentle way to meet what’s underneath—paired with embodiment so shifts lastIf you’ve been circling the same challenges and are ready to understand what’s underneath—this episode is for you.I hope it brings clarity, compassion, and a deeper sense of power in your healing journey.Take a deep breath, hit play, and let’s walk this path together.Timestamps:00:00 Why recurring complaints are clues to deeper wounds01:08 How complaints help you map your inner world02:25 Why traditional venting doesn’t create real change03:11 What complaints truly are — expressions of subconscious dissatisfaction04:26 How childhood experiences form core wounds stored in the body06:39 Complaints as “symptoms” — following them like breadcrumbs to the source09:00 An example: when busyness hides a deeper loneliness12:28 Healing the source — combining inner work with embodimentOh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...  You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):  Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.  If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> a...

How do you know if the challenges you face today — in relationships, at work, or even with your health — are really caused by unresolved childhood trauma?It’s a question I hear often, and it’s a good one. Because without clarity, we end up treating the wrong “symptom” and going in circles.Maybe you’ve already done therapy or coaching around past issues. You’ve journaled, meditated, and worked on your personal growth.But here’s the deeper question: How do you know if your healing is truly complete… or if there are still layers left to uncover?In this week’s episode of the podcast, I share the 3 telltale signs of unresolved childhood trauma — patterns I’ve seen in myself and in countless others. They quietly shape our relationships, our sense of self, and our ability to manage emotions:Repetitive relationship struggles — push–pull dynamics, people-pleasing, shutting down, or feeling unsafe in closeness.A vague sense that “something is wrong with me” — showing up as shame, imposter syndrome, or holding back from intimacy.Emotional dysregulation — feeling numb until emotions hit like a tsunami, or managing them through work, food, or other distractions.If you recognize yourself in any of these, you’re not alone. And here’s the good news: healing is possible.P.S. If this resonates, please share the episode with someone who may need it. Healing becomes more powerful when we don’t do it alone.Timestamps:00:00 How to tell if your past is still affecting your present00:46 The importance of finding the right diagnosis for emotional healing01:20 What makes complex trauma different from other forms of PTSD01:48 Sign #1: Repetitive relational patterns — fear of abandonment, push–pull dynamics, and people-pleasing05:22 Sign #2: A vague inner belief that something is “wrong” with you07:04 Sign #3: Emotional dysregulation and disconnection from your body09:24 Why talk therapy and mindset work alone aren’t enough10:59 A personal mission to help you heal faster and pass on a better legacyOh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...  You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):  Submit your questionFREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

Have you ever felt like all the tools you’ve learned in therapy or coaching just disappear the moment you get triggered? Maybe you’ve meditated, journaled, or practiced new ways of responding—yet the moment your child melts down in public or your spouse says something dismissive, calm feels impossible.You’re not alone—and you’re not broken. This is exactly how the nervous system works when we’re under stress.In this week’s episode, I share a novel way to find calm in your daily life—by becoming your own best friend. Through the simple practice of befriending yourself, you’ll learn how to bring the acceptance, empathy, and compassion of a trusted loved one into the hardest moments, so you can stay grounded no matter what’s happening around you.I’m sharing:The #1 reason your hard-earned tools vanish when you’re triggeredHow guilt and self-judgment make reactivity even worse (and what to do instead)My favorite technique for handling those “blow your top” moments—befriending yourselfThe 3-step framework of acceptance, empathy, and compassion you can use anywhere (yes, even when your child is having a tantrum in public)Why this method works even when your frontal lobe goes offlineIf you’ve ever felt stuck in the cycle of knowing better but not doing better, this episode will show you how to finally bring your learning into your daily life—so you can respond differently, without the guilt.Timestamps: 00:00 Checking in from Pennsylvania + reflections on family and healing01:09 The struggle of “losing it” despite years of self-work04:21 Why therapy insights and tools often vanish in real-life triggers06:12 Bridging what you learn in safe spaces into everyday life08:06 The core concept: befriending yourself (being your own BFF)10:19 How to embody acceptance, empathy, and compassion — the 3 elements of love17:38 Using these tools in real time when you’re triggered or overwhelmed26:58 Bringing it all together — how befriending yourself transforms your daily lifeOh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):  Submit your questionP.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.  If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

Do you know exactly what your limiting beliefs are… but still can’t seem to move past them?Or maybe you’ve spotted the patterns holding you back, yet every time you try to take action, fear and resistance pull you right back in?You’re not alone—and you’re not broken.This is just how the subconscious mind works.Last week in Part 1 of our Limiting Beliefs series, we uncovered the hidden beliefs quietly shaping your choices and sabotaging your progress.This week in Part 2, we’re taking it to the next level—because once you see those beliefs, you have the power to shiftthem.In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I’m sharing:3 proven tools to remove limiting beliefs from your subconscious mindThe exact steps I used to release a lifelong belief about money that was holding me backHow this process allowed me to recreate my business, relationships, and daily life—without sacrificing financial stabilityA simple identity-shifting question that rewires how you think, feel, and act in any area of your lifeIf you’ve done the work to identify your limiting beliefs but still feel stuck in the same cycles, this episode is your roadmap out.With love,Dr. Kavitha SunP.S. If you haven’t heard Part 1 yet—“3 Ways to Uncover Your Hidden Limiting Beliefs”—start there first. Then come back to this episode so you can put the tools into action.Timestamps: 00:00 Today’s focus: shifting beliefs (building on last week’s “find your limiting beliefs”)01:22 A real example: changing a successful business felt scary — why hesitation = hidden beliefs02:40 Core belief uncovered: fear of money rooted in childhood messages about scarcity & sacrifice05:49 How subconscious scarcity kept me stuck even when I “wanted” change07:47 Tool 1: Replace the inner debate with fact-based thoughts (practical examples)11:29 Tool 2: Identity shift — “If money were my friend and flowed easily, how would I think/feel/act?” (generosity, presence, abundance walks, noticing impact)20:09 Tool 3: Collect confirmations — track evidence you’re living the new identityOh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...  You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):  Submit your questionP.P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.  If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for

Do you ever feel like you're doing everything right—reading the books, setting goals, saying the affirmations—but you're still stuck in the same patterns?Or maybe you know exactly what you want… but no matter how hard you try, you just can’t get yourself to take action.You're not lazy. You're not broken. You're likely bumping up against something much deeper: limiting beliefs.In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I’m diving into:“3 Ways to Uncover Your Hidden Limiting Beliefs”Limiting beliefs live under the surface of our conscious mind. They silently shape our choices, habits, and how much we believe we’re allowed to dream. And unless we spot them, we can’t change them.In this episode, you’ll discover:The 3 exact tools I used to uncover the limiting beliefs that were keeping me stuckHow to recognize your own recurring patterns of self-sabotageA journaling trick that taps into your subconscious (this alone is worth listening for!)How to stop blaming your stuckness on your circumstances—and finally start shifting themIf you’ve been repeating the same habits and getting the same old results, this is the episode you need.Let’s bring those hidden beliefs to light—so you can create the life you keep saying you want.With love, Dr. Kavetha SunTimestamps:00:00 Backyard check-in + the “North Star” behind recent life/business changes01:35 Why I postponed change despite clarity — today’s plan to spot limiting beliefs03:55 Pick one specific stuck situation — the power of specificity (GPS analogy)06:08 Tool 1: Write your recurring complaints in your own words08:18 Circumstance vs. belief — the trap of “what I make this mean”09:37 Tool 2: What you and your friends vent about (your social mirror)11:28 Tool 3: Journal past “I’m done” for 2–3 minutes to reach the subconscious14:56 Quick recap + next week’s “how to shift them”P.S. This is part 1 of a 2-part series. In next week’s episode, I’ll show you how to shift those limiting beliefs. So make sure to listen to this one first!Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it... You can submit a question or situation for a future episode right here (totally anonymous!):  Submit your questionP.P.S. Love the podcast? Reviews help us spread these life-changing tools far and wide.  If you leave a 5-star review and submit a screenshot here, I’ll send you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course—a short but powerful set of tools to reduce conflict and improve connection immediately.FREE tools:Need more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun

For years, I didn’t even realize I was being triggered.I thought I was just reacting like anyone would.One moment, I’d be calmly sipping my tea — and the next, someone would say or do the wrong thing, and suddenly, it was like I’d been hijacked by a wild elephant.Before I knew it, I was saying or doing things I’d later regret.It didn’t feel like a trigger—it just felt like... me.Which honestly, made it even more confusing...“If I had a huge reaction, it wasn’t because the situation was that big — it was because there was a raw spot within me. It’s like this: when you have an unhealed wound, even a gentle breeze can feel like a forest fire.” -  Dr. Kavetha SunBut here’s what shifted everything:Triggers aren’t problems. They’re invitations.In this week’s episode of Heal Your Relationships, I’m diving into: Where triggers actually come from (and why it’s not about the other person)A metaphor that will completely reframe how you think about reactivityTwo simple shifts to help you begin healing from the inside outIf you’ve ever wondered why certain things hit you so hard—or how to stop reacting in ways you regret—this is the episode you’ve been waiting for.🚨 Got a burning question or situation you’d love my coaching on?Submit it here for an upcoming Q&A episode (all totally anonymous!).P.S. Love the Heal Your Relationships podcast? Your review could help someone else find exactly what they need. 💛Leave a 5-star review, and send a screenshot here! And I’ll gift you my Rapid Relationship Repair mini-course as a thank you gift!Remember, sharing is caring — if this episode resonated with you, don’t hesitate to forward it to someone who might need it today!FREE tools:Get FREE access to my ‘Conflict Cure’ mini-course, plus weekly relationship tools delivered straight to your inbox —> https://bit.ly/RelationalIQ-NewsletterNeed more customized support? Apply for a Relationship Breakthrough Call with Dr. Kavetha Sun —> https://go.oncehub.com/BreakthroughCallwithDrKavethaSun