At a Total Loss

I’m opening up about the reality of pregnancy after loss, the cesarean scar ectopic pregnancy that led to emergency surgery, and the quieter work of figuring out how to keep living when grief keeps reopening old wounds. In this episode, I talk through what happened this summer—from the first worrying ultrasound to the devastating diagnosis, surgery, and the emotional aftermath. I share how this experience brought me back to the pain of Brody’s death, reignited old triggers, and made me confront what healing looks like when both your body and heart have been through trauma. I very colorfully talk about: Cesarean scar ectopic pregnancy Why trying to conceive can become a form of re-traumatization after loss How grief, hormones, and racing thoughts can collide under stress The loneliness of navigating fertility, motherhood, and social situations after baby loss The small things that keep me afloat—home decor, coffee, friendship, and showing up anyway I also get honest about the awkward, often insensitive things people say to grieving parents, especially around children, baby loss, and “at least” language. If you’ve ever felt blindsided by grief, alienated by conversations meant to be supportive, or wondered how to move forward when life keeps taking hits, I hope this conversation meets you where you are. This is a heavy episode, but not a hopeless one. I’m still here, still processing, still building, and still choosing the things that make life feel livable. Sometimes survival looks like coffee, wallpaper, and taking one honest day at a time...sprinkled with a bunch of F bombs, let's be real. Find my NEW BOOK on Amazon! Stillbirth Survival *************************************This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today. NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions! For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!Find me here:Instagram @thekatherinelazar Youtube: @thekatherinelazarWebsite: www.katherinelazar.com Local to Atlanta:https://www.northsidepnl.com/ 

Podcast is moving to YouTube! Don't worry, all episodes up until now will still be available on Spotify and Apple. But moving forward, our home will be on YouTube @thekatherinelazar where I'll be sharing more videos, insight, and content around life after stillbirth.  In this episode I talk about: The impact of moving on mental health and grief Balancing grief with everyday life and motherhood The importance of honesty and community in healing Practical tips for self-care and creating a peaceful home The role of research and knowledge in health and wellness Find my NEW BOOK on Amazon! Stillbirth Survival ************************************* This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today. NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions! For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!   Find me here: Instagram @thekatherinelazar Website: www.katherinelazar.com Local to Atlanta: https://www.northsidepnl.com/

There was a time when I thought surviving a stillbirth meant I had already lived through the worst thing imaginable. Then I miscarried. In this episode, I'm sharing what I learned from experiencing a miscarriage after stillbirth—and why it challenged so much of what I thought I knew about grief, hope, healing, and myself. This isn't a chronological retelling of what happened. It's an honest conversation about the lessons that came from losing another baby: why you never become "used to" loss, how trauma changes the way your body experiences pregnancy, why hope can feel terrifying after heartbreak, and how rebuilding a life doesn't mean leaving your babies behind. Whether you've experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, infertility, or any kind of profound loss, I hope this episode reminds you that healing isn't linear, grief evolves, and it's possible to carry both heartbreak and hope at the same time. We'll talk about: • Why every pregnancy loss is different—even after stillbirth. • How trauma shapes future pregnancies and the waiting that comes with them. • The surprising ways grief changes over time. • Why protecting your heart isn't the same as giving up hope. • What rebuilding your life has taught me after losing two babies. If you've ever wondered whether you'll be able to hope again after loss, this episode is for you.   Find my NEW BOOK on Amazon! Stillbirth Survival   ************************************* This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today.   NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions!   For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops!   Find me here: Instagram @thekatherinelazar Youtube: @thekatherinelazar Website: www.katherinelazar.com     Local to Atlanta: https://www.northsidepnl.com/  

I hate when people say we are "Overprotective"...No, that's not it. We are SUPER AWARE of what can happen. This means we know the potential outcomes, we take necessary steps to prevent, we know what we can control and what we can't, we have a plan in place if something bad happens, we are no longer ignorant. We are experienced....unwantingly so... We come from a loss lens. We see things differently now. We have had the unimaginable happen to us and to our babies. Now what? Well, now we look at things through awareness. We can read situations, people, things, ourselves, etc. I hate it here but here we are.  If you are navigating anything in this life, especially parenting after loss, I hope this helps. You are doing your best, through all the spirals, meltdowns, anxiety, panic attacks, sheer fear, you're amazing. Keep going, I got you, I'm right there with you...   Find my NEW BOOK on Amazon! Stillbirth Survival ************************************* This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today.   NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions! For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops! Find me here: Instagram @thekatherinelazar Youtube: @thekatherinelazar Website: www.katherinelazar.com Local to Atlanta: https://www.northsidepnl.com/  

WE'RE BACK! omg i'm sorry y'all, life has been lifing! The book launched, my living son turned 3, we are showing our house to sell it, we are trying to expand out family, and i'm just living the grief dream! But I accidentally put the podcast aside, and I didn't even mean to...But it's back and it's not going anywhere!... My grief has changed because my life has changed and now at the 4.5 year mark, I want to talk about how normal life is with pain and joy at the same time. So this episode is about healing and how it's NOT a betrayal to our babies. It's so freakin hard you guys, like, the first year is suffocating and all we can do is survive, then we kind of come up for air and decide we want to try healing from this (which by the way, for me means, living and functioning happily with grief by my side always). How do we do that? Well that's the journey! I decided that I wanted to make Brody proud and live a life worth living. So I'm rebuilding and creating a life I love again. Healing is where it's at and that includes little joys, my family, friends, my mental health, creating a beautiful home, and a life I'm proud of. Coming with me?? I hope so! :) If you are new to Loss Life, please start the pod from the beginning. That is where I talk deep in the beginning of this journey and where it might resonate the most  MY BOOK, Stillbirth Survival is now on AMAZON! Buy it HERE ************************************* This Podcast is brought to you by LossLink.com. Find your loss posse in our are or internationally! Join this private, membership based community today. NOTE: I am not a doctor or a therapist. This podcast is not in place of therapy. The views of my guests are not always reflective of my own.  I am just a real life loss mom describing her experiences with life after loss. These are my experiences, and I'm putting it out there so you feel less alone. Always do your own research and make informed decisions! For more REAL TALK about stillbirth and grief, hit subscribe to be notified when another episode drops! Find me here: Instagram @thekatherinelazar Youtube: @thekatherinelazar Website: www.katherinelazar.com Local to Atlanta: https://www.northsidepnl.com/