Able to Care

Violence and high-risk behaviour aren’t “just part of the job” – yet many caregivers, support workers and educators quietly accept them as unavoidable. In this solo episode, Andy challenges that belief head-on. Using a real-world adult-care scenario, he explores what truly drives escalation, why incidents often look sudden even when they aren’t, and how teams unintentionally slip into blame, shame and control rather than prevention, planning and compassion. This episode gives parents, teachers and paid or unpaid carers a clear, practical lens for understanding risk: how to catch behaviours at “2 or 3” instead of “10”, how to hold boundaries without punishment, and how to replace firefighting with detective-level prevention. Whether you support children, adults with complex needs, or older people living with dementia, this message applies across the board: safety is a design choice, not wishful thinking. 🔗 Resources Mentioned Able Target System – Shared language and proactive planning for behaviour support. Train-the-Trainer programmes – Behaviour, physical intervention, and safer de-escalation training. Free resources & episodes: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast ✨ Three Key Messages 1. Violence is not “part of the job” – and normalising it harms everyone. When staff internalise danger as inevitable, burnout, turnover and defensive cultures follow. 2. Prevention beats crisis management every time. Most incidents become “unmanageable” because the early warning signs at 2, 3, 4 and 5 were missed, dismissed or deprioritised. 3. Boundaries are not the opposite of compassion. You can keep people safe, uphold expectations and act firmly – without humiliating, punishing or controlling those you support. ⏱️ Timestamps – Chapter Guide 00:00 – Naming the problem Violence is not normal, and accepting it damages staff and services. 00:23 – Episode focus Understanding harm behaviours without falling into punishment or control. 00:37 – The scenario Adult services… doorway blocked, objects slammed, staff frozen. 00:55 – The myth of “nothing works with him” Why we must examine earlier moments in the escalation chain. 01:17 – Missed opportunities at 2, 3, 4, 5 Prevention overlooked because “I’ve got no time right now”. 01:35 – “No time” becomes an escalating factor When deprioritisation plants the seeds for crisis. 02:08 – Shame, blame and defensive reporting Why “it wasn’t my fault” cultures stop learning. 02:57 – Intellectual honesty in incident review What really helps teams grow. 03:02 – Control mode in crisis Why stressed staff instinctively reach for punishment. 03:34 – When staff feel unheard The emotional cost of devaluing carers. 03:43 – The core problem: prevention is undervalued Organisations over-invest in crisis training, under-invest in early planning. 04:06 – Detective mode vs firefighter mode A simple tool for designing safer responses. 04:50 – The danger of living in “firefighter mode” Burnout, repeat incidents and organisational fatigue. 05:21 – Boundaries without punishment You don’t have to choose between being kind and being firm. 05:58 – When safety becomes control Why ‘winning’ the moment is the wrong goal. 06:19 – Applications across sectors Schools, parenting, foster care, dementia support. 07:04 – Schools: consequence overdrive Rubbers forgotten = detentions? Why this culture harms learning. 07:52 – Parenting: avoiding “daily enforcement mode” Boundaries + nurture = secure, calmer behaviour. 07:49 – Trauma and misinterpreted control Why children with trauma histories escalate under pressure. 07:57 – Dementia care: prevention wins again Environment, routine and communication over correction. 08:05 – Designing systems, not depending on heroics Why proactive culture is the real safeguard. 08:21 – The Able Target System Shared language, safer staff, predictable support. 08:33 – Closing message If you found this useful, please like, comment and share. 💡 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode is for anyone who has ever felt: “We only ever get called when it’s already a crisis.” “I’m scared to set boundaries in case I escalate things.” “We’re reacting all day and never getting ahead.” “I love this work, but I’m exhausted by constant firefighting.” Andy gives you practical tools to shift from reaction to prevention, challenge unhealthy workplace norms, and hold boundaries with humanity. You’ll walk away with a clearer sense of how to keep yourself safe, support others with dignity, and reduce the emotional load on teams, parents and caregivers. 📲 Connect with Able to Care & Able Training Podcast Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

Most cardiac arrests happen where we least expect them – at home, often in front of the people we love. Yet so many parents, carers, teachers and support workers quietly fear they’d freeze, forget what to do, or make things worse. This week’s guest, Rob Jones, understands that fear more intimately than most. Rob survived a sudden cardiac arrest in the middle of the night because his wife Ruby began CPR on their bedroom floor. Eighteen minutes later, paramedics took over – but it was her hands that kept him alive. In this episode, Rob shares the real experience of collapsing without warning, what his family lived through in those terrifying minutes, and what recovery actually feels like when your heart has stopped twice. He explains why CPR training isn’t just a workplace tick-box – it’s a life skill that every home, school and community needs. Rob and his wife now run The Idiopath, using lived experience to train others in CPR, resilience and real-world decision-making under pressure. This is an honest, hopeful, deeply human conversation that will speak to carers, parents, teachers and anyone who wants to feel prepared rather than powerless in an emergency. 🔗 Resources & Guest Links The Idiopath – Website: https://www.theidiopath.com/ The Idiopath – Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theidiopath/ Rob Jones – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rob-jones-8a2504161/ Contact Rob: https://metro.co.uk/2025/11/25/a-thud-night-started-worst-18-minutes-life-24790076/ Able to Care Podcast Hub: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast ✨ Three Key Messages 1. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Once a heart has stopped, you cannot make the situation worse. Even imperfect chest compressions give someone a chance they wouldn’t otherwise have. 2. CPR is a family skill, not a workplace skill. Most cardiac arrests occur at home. CPR training matters just as much for parents, older children, carers and teachers as it does for clinical staff. 3. Resilience isn’t toughness – it’s adapting when life changes shape. Rob explains how trauma reshaped his identity, his energy, his limits and his choices, and how The Idiopath now helps others build practical, everyday resilience. ⏱️ Timestamps – Chapter Guide 00:05 – Welcome & opening Andy introduces Rob and the conversation begins. 00:27 – The night everything changed Rob collapses; Ruby realises something is terribly wrong. 01:11 – Ruby’s response under pressure Instinct, panic and the moment CPR begins. 02:22 – Hearing the 999 call back Rob describes the shock of listening to real panic. 03:29 – Processing what happened The surreal reality of causing distress you can’t remember. 04:09 – Waking in hospital Confusion, wires and the slow realisation of cardiac arrest. 05:55 – 18 minutes of CPR The statistical reality: survival and brain damage concerns. 07:18 – Ambulance arrival and transfer of care Why CPR before crews arrive matters most. 08:29 – Returning to “normal” life Work, recovery, setbacks and the second heart stoppage. 09:41 – When the defibrillator fires The moment Rob’s ICD restarts his heart. 10:38 – Rethinking life, stress and purpose Turning lived experience into service. 11:14 – The birth of The Idiopath Using real stories to educate and prevent more loss. 12:23 – The fear of doing CPR “wrong” Why you can’t make a dead person more dead. 13:44 – Common myths and barriers Hurting someone, legal fears, rescue breaths and reality. 16:34 – Hands-only CPR in real life What it looks like and what training does (and doesn’t) prepare you for. 18:59 – CPR songs, rhythm and real-world limitations From ‘Staying Alive’ to questionable modern hits. 21:15 – What learners really ask Dragging someone from bed, tight spaces, “what if…?” 23:31 – Fear of being sued Why the Good Samaritan principles protect responders. 24:41 – Why YOU need CPR training Parents, carers, teachers – and why home is the highest-risk environment. 26:03 – Connecting with other survivors Support groups, trauma, and lived experience beyond the arrest. 28:07 – When CPR fails Honest conversations about loss and statistics. 31:23 – Living after cardiac arrest Invisible recovery, fear, identity and resilience. 34:49 – The Idiopath’s five pillars of resilience Tools for stress, energy, emotion and adaptation. 37:04 – Why people book CPR after hearing Rob’s story Lived experience creates behaviour change. 39:17 – Why small businesses need CPR too Barbers, shops, youth clubs and the silent risks. 40:28 – One action for listeners If you do just one thing: learn CPR. 41:32 – CPR as an act of love Preparing your future self – and protecting those you care for. 43:00 – Teaching children CPR Why early exposure matters and how young kids can learn safely. 46:04 – Where to find Rob & The Idiopath Contact information and next steps. 46:35 – Closing message from Andy Take the nudge: learn CPR today. 💡 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode is for anyone who has ever quietly wondered: Would I freeze? Would I know what to do? Could I really save someone I love? Rob’s story strips away the myths, the guilt and the fear around CPR. He and Andy talk frankly about panic, recovery, trauma, resilience, and the emotional aftermath that textbooks never mention. Whether you're a parent, a care worker, a teacher, or simply someone who wants to be ready for the unthinkable, this conversation will leave you more confident, more informed and more compassionate toward yourself. You don’t have to be fearless – you just have to be willing. 📲 Connect with Able to Care & Able Training Podcast Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

In this solo episode, Andy explores one of the most painful dilemmas in dementia care: When someone repeatedly asks for a loved one who has died, is telling the truth always the kindest thing to do? Using the scenario of Margaret – a woman living with dementia who searches anxiously for her husband – Andy explains why connection before correction is essential not only in dementia care, but also in parenting, teaching, trauma-responsive work, and supporting distressed adults. Through real scenarios and practical tools, Andy unpacks what distress really looks like, why a nervous system in panic cannot process facts, and how small relational shifts can reduce anxiety, prevent escalation, and build trust. Perfect for unpaid carers, family members, teachers, support workers and care-home staff, this episode gives you a compassionate roadmap for responding to distress without shame, fear or accidental cruelty. 🔗 Resources Mentioned Able Target System – Behaviour support framework for consistent, compassionate responses. Adaptive Carer Model – Care roles and strategies for dementia support. Andy’s Blog & Podcast Episodes on connection, communication, and behaviour. Training & Courses via Able Training: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast ✨ Three Key Messages 1. “Honesty” isn’t always kind – impact matters more than intention. Correcting someone with dementia can recreate the pain of bereavement again and again. Emotional truth often protects dignity better than factual accuracy. 2. Connection before correction is not optional – it’s the intervention. Whether in care homes, schools or families, a dysregulated nervous system cannot absorb logic. Safety first, facts later. 3. Behaviour is communication, not defiance. A person calling out for Teddy may be expressing fear, loneliness, confusion or sensory overload – not seeking information. Respond to the need, not just the question. ⏱️ Timestamps – Chapter Guide 00:00 – The emotional dilemma “Where’s my husband?” – is honesty kind or cruel? 00:20 – Why dementia changes how truth lands Painful reminders can hit like repeated fresh bereavements. 00:43 – Introducing Margaret’s story Anxiety, wandering, sensory triggers, and the search for Teddy. 01:17 – Why people still reorientate bluntly Training gaps, new staff, overwhelmed families, and assumptions. 01:54 – Intent vs impact Malice isn’t the issue – misunderstanding is. 02:39 – Honesty is contextual From Anne Frank to dementia care – when honesty can harm. 03:10 – Therapeutic truth Best-interest-led communication rather than literal accuracy. 03:50 – Capacity, reactions and emotional patterns How to judge whether reminding helps or harms. 04:41 – Connection before correction Empathy, grounding, validating feelings, calming the nervous system. 05:10 – What is Teddy really representing? Loneliness? Safety? Confusion? Emotional needs beneath the question. 05:40 – Why logic doesn’t reach a distressed brain Amygdala activation, panic, and the need for co-regulation. 06:25 – Prevention matters more than crisis management Noise, environment, routine, familiarity and reducing triggers. 07:14 – Emotional availability in care Slow steps, calm tone, small choices, predictable routines. 07:55 – Walking, redirecting & environment shifts Practical ways to settle a distressed person. 08:14 – Using these principles beyond dementia Schools, parenting, foster care, trauma, and dysregulated children. 09:03 – Why “I told you already” makes things worse Emotional orientation beats factual orientation every time. 09:58 – Trauma, time-travel and stress responses Why distressed behaviour isn’t disrespect or defiance. 10:40 – The risk of confrontation When challenging a belief creates threat rather than clarity. 11:20 – The big takeaway Connection isn’t a technique – it is the intervention. 11:54 – Tools you can use: Able Target System & Adaptive Carer Model How to structure responses without increasing power struggles. 💡 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode is for you if: You support someone with dementia and feel stuck between “being honest” and “being kind”. You work in education or care and want trauma-informed communication tools. You’re a parent struggling with repeated questions, meltdowns or emotional overwhelm. You want practical, compassion-first strategies that genuinely reduce distressed behaviours. You want to understand why logic fails when emotions run high – and what works instead. If you’re tired, overwhelmed or worrying that you’re “getting it wrong”, this episode brings clarity, relief and concrete steps you can use immediately. 📲 Connect with Able to Care & Able Training Podcast Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

In this powerful and reassuring conversation, Andy speaks with Michelle Reshef-Ash, CEO of Dementia Prevention UK and a PhD researcher at University College London, whose work bridges cutting-edge research with real-world, accessible dementia-prevention support for families and communities. This episode unpacks the big questions that parents, teachers, carers and support workers ask every day: Can dementia really be prevented? How much do genes matter? What small changes genuinely make a difference when real life is busy, stressful or overwhelming? How do we talk about dementia without shame, fear or blame? Michelle offers clear, compassionate science, practical habit-building tools, and an honest look at the inequalities that shape people’s opportunities for good brain health. From supporting overstretched carers, to helping underserved communities, to empowering people in their 40s, 50s and beyond to take realistic steps – this conversation gives you hope without hype, and guidance without guilt. If you support others – or simply want to protect your own long-term wellbeing – this episode is packed with insight you can use today. 🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned Dementia Prevention UK – workshops, programmes and community tools: https://dementiapreventionuk.com/ Michelle Reshef-Ash (LinkedIn): https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-reshef-ash/ NHS App – track blood tests and biomarkers Topics discussed: Alzheimer’s gene APOE4, biomarker checks (vitamin D, cholesterol, BP), COM-B behaviour-change model, epigenetics, movement for mood, social connection benefits. ✨ Three Key Messages 1. Dementia prevention is about lowering risk, not promising certainty. The aim isn’t perfection – it’s improving quality of life and reducing vulnerability through realistic, sustainable habits. 2. Your opportunities shape your health as much as your motivation. People in underserved or stressful environments aren’t lacking willpower – they’re often lacking accessible, safe and affordable options. 3. Caregivers don’t need more pressure – they need compassion, boundaries and support. For carers, the most protective “brain health habit” is reducing self-blame and prioritising emotional wellbeing. ⏱️ Timestamps – Chapter Guide 00:00 – Welcome & setting the scene Storms, virtual chats and the big question: can dementia be prevented? 00:43 – Can dementia be prevented? Why prevention really means risk reduction – and why honest language matters. 02:13 – Understanding statistics & common misconceptions “My grandmother smoked till 96” – why anecdotes aren’t evidence. 02:43 – What does a brain-healthy life actually look like? Realistic habits, not Instagram wellness. 03:50 – Why brain health matters beyond dementia Quality of life, resilience, sleep, routine and long-term wellbeing. 04:39 – The dangers of “miracle cures” & misleading claims Smoothies, apps, supplements – and why humility is essential in brain science. 07:30 – Genetics, family history & the boat analogy Why having a gene increases risk but doesn’t seal your fate. 09:27 – Biomarkers everyone should check Blood pressure, cholesterol, vitamin D, iron levels – and why. 11:55 – Medication, risk and honest conversations with your GP How to explore alternatives safely. 13:42 – Dementia prevention also lowers other health risks Cardiovascular, diabetes, obesity, depression, anxiety. 16:53 – Seasons of life & being kind to yourself Why behaviour change isn’t linear and shouldn’t be guilt-driven. 18:14 – The first three changes that give the biggest payoff Movement, social connection, and reducing alcohol. 21:24 – Sleep, routine and tiny habit anchors Why predictability matters more than perfection. 25:59 – Habits come in groups How one small change often triggers others. 27:34 – Behaviour change without “just” or shame Why language matters when encouraging new habits. 28:47 – Dementia prevention in underserved communities Barriers, opportunities and the reality of daily stress. 32:47 – Affordable changes for real families Carrots, frozen veg, safe walking groups, social support. 36:27 – Supporting exhausted carers Compassion, boundaries, self-forgiveness and mental health as prevention. 40:57 – The importance of being known to services Why families should contact charities & social services early. 42:49 – Is it too late for older adults? Never. Change always helps – at any age. 47:22 – What changes when people understand their brain Movement, medication review, mindset shifts, empowerment. 51:36 – Memory lapses, panic and early warning signs The “Which D?” rule – Dementia, Depression, Vitamin D. 58:31 – Changing the conversation in families, schools & workplaces From fear to empowerment. 1:00:39 – The one kind step to take this week Book a GP appointment and be honest about your fears. 💡 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode is essential if you: Support someone with dementia or fear a diagnosis yourself. Work in education, care or community settings where brain health matters. Want practical, culturally aware, non-judgemental guidance. Feel overwhelmed, tired or guilty about your lifestyle and want realistic steps. Want to understand how trauma, stress, inequality and opportunity shape health. Need reassurance that it’s never too late to make meaningful change. Michelle brings depth without doom, hope without false promises, and compassion without judgement. 📲 Connect with Michelle Website: https://dementiapreventionuk.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-reshef-ash/ Email: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

In this solo episode, behaviour specialist and author Andy Baker unpacks one of the most overlooked parts of behaviour support: what happens after the incident. Whether you’re working in a school, supporting adults in care, or navigating tough moments at home, the post-incident debrief is often where the real growth happens – yet most settings rush it, avoid it, or unintentionally turn it into another punishment. Andy breaks down why restorative conversations fail when done too soon, too harshly, or with the wrong focus, and offers a simple, practical framework for debriefing that protects dignity, reduces shame, builds connection and genuinely improves future behaviour. This episode is essential listening for caregivers, parents, teachers, support workers and anyone navigating distress or dysregulation in others. 🧰 Resources Mentioned Andy's Book – Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge A practical guide featuring the full Six-Stage TARGET Model and the PERFORM Debrief Framework. (Listeners are directed to the link in your episode description.) Able Target System – Trauma-informed, restorative, person-centred behaviour support framework embedded throughout Andy’s training and consultancy. 🔑 Three Key Messages Debriefing is learning, not punishment. If all we take from an incident is a report form and a bruise, we’ve wasted pain that could have become insight. Restorative practice only works when shame is removed. When people feel heard, their brain reopens to learning. When they feel shamed, reflection shuts down. Boundaries and humanity belong together. Restorative approaches don’t remove limits – they strengthen them by pairing accountability with connection. ⏱️ Chapter Timestamps 00:00 – Why debriefing matters more than we think The hidden stage most settings skip – and why outcomes suffer when they do. 00:24 – Where schools, care services and parents go wrong Common mistakes: retraumatising conversations, shame responses, and “confession-based” debriefs. 01:14 – Learning from incidents: the fire analogy Why incident forms aren’t enough without meaningful reflection. 02:23 – Why we avoid debriefs Shame, fear of judgement, time pressures and the myth that “they won’t learn anyway”. 03:33 – Punishment vs restorative learning Why consequences don’t automatically create insight. 04:12 – Supporting the adults too The emotional impact on staff and caregivers – and what reflective practice should include. 05:26 – The PERFORM Debrief Script A step-by-step walkthrough: P – Prepare E – Explore the story R – Reflect on feelings and needs F – Feedback on impact O – Ownership through repair R – Responsibility for next time M – Map the future 08:53 – A real-life story: shouting match avoided How one parent transformed a tense evening into connection through the right questions. 10:18 – Why shouting never teaches what we think it does Fear creates compliance, not growth. 12:14 – The true purpose of restorative practice Connection, rehearsal, emotional safety and future-proofing behaviour. 13:34 – Behaviour is like the weather How to become the “behaviour weatherman” through the TARGET model and emotional insight. 🎧 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode will help you if: You want to repair relationships after meltdowns, crises or confrontations. You support children or adults who experience overwhelm or dysregulation. You feel stuck repeating the same incidents without seeing change. You want a script, not just theory. You’re trying to build a culture of safety, dignity and accountability. If you’re a parent, teacher, care worker, foster carer, SENCO, TA, support worker or leader in education or care, this episode will give you grounded, real-world tools to use today. 📲 Connect with Able to Care & Able Training Podcast Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

What if preparing for the future wasn’t morbid… but empowering? In this episode, I sit down with Vicky Jones, founder of Ourlives, former social care director, mum of two, and someone who learned early in life that everything can change with a single knock at the door. Drawing on 25 years in health and social care, her own ADHD diagnosis, sobriety journey, and the sudden loss of her father, Vicky is on a mission to stop people waiting for crisis before taking action. Whether you’re a paid carer, an unpaid family caregiver, a teacher supporting overwhelmed families, or a parent trying to balance your own future alongside your children’s, this conversation offers something essential: clarity, calm, and a roadmap for what so many people avoid thinking about until it’s too late. We unpack why people discount their future selves, the emotional blocks that stop families having conversations they desperately need, and the key steps every adult should take long before aging, illness or caring responsibilities hit. 🌐 Resources & Links Mentioned Ourlives – Future planning community & tools Website: https://www.ourlivesapp.com Life Audit (free questionnaire): Add link once live Connect with Vicky Jones LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/victoria-jones-2906ab83 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ourlivesapp TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ourlivesapp Email: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast 

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve “tried everything” with a child or adult showing distressing behaviour—this episode is for you. In this solo episode, Andy Baker, behaviour specialist and author of Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge, breaks down the misunderstood world of Positive Behaviour Support (PBS). With real-life examples and practical insights, Andy explores why PBS is more than a poster on the wall. It’s a mindset and a method—rooted in assessment, adaptation and empathy. Whether you’re a caregiver, teacher, or parent, this episode offers a compassionate and science-backed look at how to reduce distress, not just manage behaviour. 🧰 Resources Mentioned 📘 Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker: Buy on Amazon 🧠 The Able Target System: able-training.co.uk/ats 🖥️ Learn more about Able Training’s behaviour courses: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast 🧩 Three Key Messages PBS isn’t soft—it’s strategic. It’s about analysing the function of behaviour, not just punishing the form. Every behaviour has a benefit. If you don’t see it, you’re not asking the right question yet. Focus on skill-building, not shaming. Replacement behaviours work best when they meet the same need in a safer way. ⏱️ Chapters & Timestamps 00:00 – Behaviour vs Punishment: Why "we’ve tried everything" often isn’t true 00:42 – What is Positive Behaviour Support?: A real-world breakdown 01:08 – Integrating Trauma-Informed Practice: Going beyond the behaviour 02:01 – The 6-Stage TARGET Model: Andy’s unique approach to PBS 03:43 – Real-World Example: Head-Scratcher Strategy 06:19 – Skill-Building vs Compliance: Teaching safer ways to meet needs 07:42 – Autonomy and the Competing Pathway 08:29 – Why PBS Often Fails (and how to fix it) 10:21 – Book Excerpt: Weathering Behaviour with Insight 🤔 Why Listen to This Episode? If you’re a parent or carer constantly firefighting distress without long-term change If you’re a teacher struggling to apply behaviour policies to neurodiverse students If you want a clear, compassionate alternative to sanctions, shame, and suppression This episode offers tools you can start using today—rooted in neuroscience, not guesswork. 🔗 Connect with Us 🌐 Podcast hub: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: Able Training 📲 LinkedIn: Andy Baker

In this deeply moving and often joyful episode of the Able to Care podcast, Andy Baker is joined by Peter Berry, who lives with Alzheimer’s, and Deb Bunt, author, counsellor and Peter’s close friend. Together, they explore what it truly means to live well with dementia — not through clinical labels or deficits, but through friendship, dignity, purpose and shared humanity. This conversation will resonate strongly with family carers, professional caregivers, teachers and anyone supporting someone with additional needs, as it challenges common assumptions about memory, identity and “loss”. Peter and Deb share honest reflections on diagnosis, stigma, trust, cycling challenges, writing together, and the idea of being an “external memory” — all grounded in a relationship that prioritises connection over care and moments over memories. ⏱️ Episode Chapters (Timestamps) 00:01 – Living with a dementia diagnosis: shame, silence and the turning point 05:30 – Purpose, advocacy and planting a new future 06:30 – Not being defined by dementia 08:45 – Dignity, stigma and the “shabby coat” metaphor 13:50 – Living in the moment and finding joy 17:10 – Metaphors, meaning and communicating the unsayable 19:20 – Cycling, challenge and staying active 25:50 – Life after diagnosis: what is still possible 33:15 – “External memory”, trust and friendship 41:45 – Making moments, not memories 47:00 – Support versus care and mutual relationships 56:05 – Messages for those newly diagnosed or supporting someone 59:05 – Books, advocacy and what comes next 💡 Three Key Messages from This Episode Dementia does not erase identity Peter is not “a person with dementia” — he is Peter. Diagnosis may change memory, but it does not remove personality, humour, values or worth. Dignity is shaped by how we respond As Peter powerfully explains, dignity isn’t taken by dementia itself, but by how others react to the label. Compassionate responses preserve humanity. Moments matter more than memories You may not be able to create lasting memories — but you can always create meaningful moments. Joy exists in the here and now. 📚 Resources Mentioned in the Episode Slow Puncture – Living Well with Dementia Available in print, Kindle and audiobook Walk with Me – Musings Through the Dementia Fog Patching the Puncture – Continuing to Live Well with Dementia (Released February 2026) 👉 Pre-order: https://bookguild.co.uk/bookshop/memoir/patching-the-puncture 🌐 Peter & Deb’s website and media appearances: https://www.peter-berry.com 🎧 Why Listen to This Episode? If you support someone living with dementia — professionally or personally — this episode offers hope, clarity and a reframe. You’ll gain: A deeper understanding of memory, identity and emotional connection Practical insights into supporting someone without diminishing them Reassurance that life, joy and purpose do not end with diagnosis A reminder that friendship, humour and dignity still matter deeply This is not a conversation about “managing dementia” — it’s about being human together. 🔗 Connect with Our Guests Deb Bunt – Author & Advocate LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deb-bunt-ab247524/ Instagram: @deb.bunt Twitter/X: @debbunt Peter Berry – Living with Alzheimer’s Facebook: Peter Berry Living with Alzheimer’s Website & media: https://www.peter-berry.com 🌍 Able to Care – Links & Social Media 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: Able Training 📲 LinkedIn: Andy Baker

If you’ve ever supported someone living with dementia and been faced with shouting, swearing, hitting, or refusal of care, this episode is for you. In this solo episode, Andy Baker unpacks one of the most misunderstood areas of dementia care: behaviour that looks aggressive but is almost always communication driven by distress. Drawing on years of experience in behaviour support, Andy helps caregivers, teachers, and parents move away from labels like “challenging” or “difficult” and instead understand what the behaviour is trying to say. You’ll learn why dementia affects far more than memory, how fear, pain, confusion, trauma, overstimulation, and even poor care practice can drive behaviour — and most importantly, what to do in the moment. Andy shares a simple, practical three‑step response framework and language you can use immediately to de‑escalate situations while protecting your own wellbeing. This episode is especially valuable for anyone feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or unsure whether they’re “handling things right”. ⏱️ Episode Chapters (Timestamps) 00:00 – Aggression or communication? Reframing behaviour in dementia 00:49 – Why dementia affects personality, perception, and processing 01:10 – Why behaviour becomes the fastest communication channel 02:22 – Fight, flight, and the safety of saying “no” 03:30 – From “challenging behaviour” to “distress behaviour” 04:19 – Hidden drivers: pain, fear, trauma, overstimulation, under‑stimulation 05:12 – When behaviour isn’t dementia — it’s poor care 06:07 – A simple 3‑step response framework 06:29 – Step 1: Pause, protect, and regulate yourself 06:58 – Step 2: Scan for unmet needs (HELP model) 07:31 – Step 3: Adjust, connect, and reduce distress 08:13 – What to say when someone is frightened or overwhelmed 09:05 – The HEART approach: Hear, Empathise, Align, Reassure, Transition 10:26 – Why “calm down” doesn’t work 10:51 – Caregiver regulation and burnout 11:52 – The core message: behaviour is communication 12:22 – Resource: Targeting the Positive 🧩 Three Key Takeaways Aggression in dementia is rarely intentional What looks like defiance or hostility is often a terrified brain trying to cope with confusion, pain, or fear. Behaviour makes sense when you understand the context Distress behaviours are often driven by unmet physical, emotional, cognitive, or environmental needs — not the diagnosis itself. You can’t calm someone else if you’re dysregulated Supporting distress starts with your own regulation. Compassionate care requires supported carers. 🛠️ Resources Mentioned Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker A practical, person‑centred guide to understanding and responding to distressed and dysregulated behaviour across dementia, trauma, neurodiversity, and mental health. Click here to find out more 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? You’re supporting someone with dementia and struggling with aggression, refusal, or distress You want practical language and tools, not theory You’re tired of feeling blamed, judged, or unsure You want to support others without losing yourself You believe behaviour has meaning — and want to understand it better This episode offers reassurance, clarity, and immediately usable strategies grounded in empathy and realism. 🔗 Connect with Able 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: Able Training

Why “just do as you’re told” doesn’t work — and what to do instead. If you're a caregiver, teacher or parent exhausted by difficult behaviour, this episode is for you. In this solo episode, Andy Baker (behaviour specialist, author, and trainer) challenges the outdated scripts we've inherited around control, punishment, and compliance — and shares a powerful mindset shift that actually works. From his own story of being mugged at knifepoint to practical insights for managing aggression, defiance, or withdrawal, Andy explores how a person-centred, trauma-informed approach to behaviour support can improve outcomes for everyone — including you. Whether you work in a care home, a classroom or your own home, this episode helps you move from reactivity to reflection, from “what’s wrong with you?” to “what’s going on for you?” 📚 Resources Mentioned: Book: Targeting the Positive: With Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker Able Training: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast 💡 Three Key Messages: Challenging behaviour is subjective – what we find difficult often says more about us than the person we’re supporting. Old logic harms connection – the “do as you’re told” mindset leads to fear, shutdown or escalation. New logic builds trust – curiosity, empathy, and focusing on needs (not punishment) create better outcomes for everyone. ⏱️ Timestamps (Chapters): 00:00 – The problem with “just being difficult” 01:20 – Andy’s story: being mugged, fear, and the start of a career in behaviour 02:00 – What does “challenging behaviour” actually mean? 04:00 – Subjectivity, values, and why we label behaviour 06:00 – Task-focused vs. person-centred: why we get stuck 07:30 – The pause: learning to respond, not react 09:00 – From punishment to curiosity: the ‘new logic’ in behaviour 11:00 – The danger of “should” and “must” scripts 12:00 – Maladaptive vs. disliked behaviour 13:00 – The cultural lens: are our expectations even right? 14:00 – 3 mindset shifts to start using tomorrow 15:10 – How “Targeting the Positive” can help you become the weatherman of behaviour 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? If you’ve ever thought “why won’t they just behave?” — you’re not alone. This episode gives you a practical, mindset-shifting framework that moves beyond punishment and helps you better support children, adults, or anyone with distressed or confusing behaviour. It’s compassionate, empowering, and refreshingly honest. 🔗 Stay Connected: 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleTraining

What happens when a care package is approved... but there's no home for it to go into? In this vital conversation, I’m joined by Ben Gyles, co-founder of Urban Nest Property Solutions and The Housing Partnership Forum, to tackle the growing gap between housing and care. Ben shares his personal connection to council housing, his work supporting care providers and councils, and how housing shortages and visa changes are creating a chokehold on care delivery across the UK. Whether you’re a parent, teacher or caregiver, this episode sheds light on how stable, trauma-informed housing isn’t just about bricks and mortar – it’s about creating safety, healing and dignity for those we support. 🔑 Three Key Messages: Care Needs a Roof: Housing is not just a backdrop to care delivery – it’s a fundamental part of it. Without suitable homes, care packages are delayed, disjointed or completely unworkable. The System is Reacting, Not Planning: Providers, councils, and landlords are trapped in reactive firefighting. We need better communication, forward planning and strategic housing pipelines to meet future care needs. Homes Can Heal: Trauma-informed environments matter. With insight from his partner, therapist Silvia Costa, Ben shares how thoughtful design can support mental wellbeing and long-term recovery. ⏱️ Timestamps (Chapters): 00:00 – What happens when care is approved, but there's nowhere to go? 02:00 – Delayed discharge and the £2bn cost of nowhere-to-go patients 05:00 – The impact of housing shortages on small care providers 10:00 – The missing link: communication breakdown between councils, landlords and providers 20:00 – How Urban Nest is bridging the gap with property pipelines 25:00 – Visa changes, staff shortages and housing as recruitment infrastructure 30:00 – How trauma-informed design transforms housing into healing 35:00 – Advice for caregivers and advocates struggling with housing support 40:00 – Behaviour, stability and the ripple effect of insecure housing on families and schools 45:00 – What councils and government could change today 50:00 – The Housing Partnership Forum – a new space for collaboration 📚 Resources Mentioned: The Housing Partnership Forum: Join on LinkedIn Ben & Silvia on LinkedIn: Ben and Silvia Your Local Guardian Article: Urban Nest launched to save Croydon's forgotten homes Targeting the Positive (Book) by Andy Baker: Find it on Amazon 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? If you work in care, education or support families in any way, this episode will challenge how you think about housing. Ben Gyles offers a fresh, solutions-focused perspective on how to overcome housing barriers in care – from planning better homes to understanding trauma-informed design. It’s a conversation packed with heart, real-world examples, and practical hope. 🔗 Connect with Us: 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website:AbleTraining

In this solo episode, behaviour specialist Andy Baker explores one powerful scenario that reveals the truth behind so many so-called “challenging behaviours”: they are not defiance, manipulation or greed – they’re survival strategies built in the past and carried into the present. Whether you’re a foster carer, teacher, parent, support worker or dementia practitioner, this episode gives you a clear lens for understanding why people repeat behaviours that no longer fit their current environment, and how we can respond with curiosity rather than judgement. Andy breaks down his motivation climate framework – unmet need, stress, and strategy – and shows how meeting needs and reducing fear leads to safer, calmer, more adaptive behaviour. You’ll hear real examples, practical steps, and trauma-informed approaches that work across education, care settings, parenting, learning disability support and dementia care. 🔗 Resources Mentioned Andy’s Book – “Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge” A practical guide exploring the Six-Stage TARGET model and the Able Target System. Able Target System – A trauma-informed, strengths-based behaviour support framework used across care, education and family settings. Atomic Habits – James Clear (Referenced concept: making habits obvious, easy, attractive and rewarding.) 🔑 Three Key Messages 1. Behaviour is a strategy, not a character flaw. Before reacting, ask: What need is unmet? What fear is present? What strategy kept them safe in the past? 2. Safety, certainty and control drive more behaviour than consequences ever will. When we remove shame and build predictability, behaviour improves because fear reduces. 3. Real change happens when we make old behaviours unnecessary, not when we punish them. Meeting needs, reducing stress and offering adaptive alternatives creates lasting change. ⏱️ Timestamps (Chapter Guide) 00:00 – The misunderstood behaviour: stealing food Why survival strategies look like “bad behaviour”. 00:25 – Introducing the scenario: Claire’s story How early neglect shapes unconscious responses long after safety returns. 01:28 – Yesterday’s logic vs today’s logic Why children (and adults) don’t simply “turn off” old coping strategies. 02:04 – The danger of labels and assumptions Greedy, manipulative, controlling? Or scared, uncertain and adapting? 02:48 – Confirmation bias in behaviour support When we decide the narrative too early, we start hunting for evidence to support it. 03:38 – Andy’s Motivation Climate Model Unmet need → Stress → Strategy (adaptive or maladaptive). 04:48 – Why some maladaptive behaviours were once perfectly adaptive Context is everything. Behaviour makes sense in the world it was born in. 05:47 – Proactive strategies that actually work Meeting needs, reducing stress, adding predictability, offering safe control. 06:39 – Reducing shame triggers Why calling out, teasing or “catching them in the act” backfires dramatically. 07:59 – Adding friction, not punishment Small adjustments that turn unhelpful habits into less appealing options. 09:11 – Broadening the lens across settings Schools: pencil stealing, avoidance, reassurance seeking Parenting: sneaking food, lying Adult care: swapping items for certainty Dementia: rummaging, packing, hiding items 10:06 – The key question: how do we make the behaviour unnecessary? Stopping isn’t enough – replacing is essential. 11:01 – Atomic habits and behaviour change Make the new behaviour easy, obvious, attractive and rewarding. 11:48 – The Able Target System How to apply these principles across any care or education environment. 🎧 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode is for you if: You’re tired of behaviour being labelled “naughty”, “attention seeking”, or “manipulative”. You want a trauma-informed way to interpret actions before reacting. You support children or adults with histories of neglect, trauma, learning disability or dementia. You want practical, compassionate strategies that actually reduce behaviours rather than suppress them. You want to improve connection, safety and trust in your home, classroom or service. You will walk away with a new way of thinking – one that brings empathy, clarity and confidence to the most confusing behaviours. 📲 Connect with Able to Care & Able Training Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

In this episode of the Able to Care podcast, behaviour specialist Andy Baker is joined by Kathryn Lovewell, founder of Kind Mind Academy, award-winning speaker, and best-selling author of The Little Book of Self-Compassion, The Voices in My Head, and Every Teacher Matters. Together, they explore how self-compassion isn’t soft—it’s essential. Drawing on Kathryn’s experience working across schools, prisons, foster care, and families, they unpack the power of mindful self-compassion in daily life, especially for those in support roles. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or carer feeling stretched thin, this conversation offers something rare: permission to be kind to yourself—and practical steps to start today. 💙 Sponsored by: Carers Card UK We’re proudly supported by The Booster Way Community Kathryn on LinkedIn: Kathryn Lovewell Instagram: @theboosterway Kathryn’s books: The Voices in My Head The Little Book of Self-Compassion Every Teacher Matters Andy’s book: able-training.co.uk/podcast 💡 Three Key Messages: Self-compassion isn't self-indulgent—it's essential. For carers and educators, kindness to ourselves fuels how well we care for others. We pass on our inner dialogue. Children and young people absorb how we speak to ourselves as much as how we speak to them. Start small, stay consistent. Rewiring our inner voice takes time, but small acts of self-kindness each day create lasting change. ⏱️ Timestamps / Chapters: 00:00 – Intro: The power of how we speak to ourselves 01:42 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK 02:00 – Meet Kathryn Lovewell and her journey into self-compassion 05:00 – Understanding the inner critic and “Crusher” vs “Booster” 10:30 – Why self-compassion is so hard but so necessary 15:20 – How changing our inner voice transforms relationships 20:00 – Recognising signs of emotional depletion and burnout 28:00 – A guided Self-Compassion Break exercise 35:00 – The Booster Way: Building emotional language in families 42:00 – Creating a culture of compassion in schools and homes 47:00 – Modeling healthy self-talk for children 52:00 – Practical ways to calm and regulate during tough moments 56:00 – Busting the myth: Self-care isn’t selfish 59:00 – Final message: No one needs to suffer alone 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode: You’ll learn practical tools for calming the inner critic You’ll hear powerful real-life stories from education and parenting You’ll walk away with a new language to share compassion with your children and yourself You’ll discover why modeling emotional wellbeing is the most effective teaching tool of all This is an episode for anyone who’s ever said, “I just don’t have time for self-care.” You do—and Kathryn Lovewell shows you how to make it count. 📲 Stay Connected: The Able Hub: www.ablehub.uk  Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge 📱 Follow Us: 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

In today’s solo episode, behaviour specialist and author Andy Baker shines a light on one of the most overlooked behavioural patterns in care and education: submissive behaviour. When someone is compliant, quiet, or “no trouble at all,” we often assume they’re fine. But beneath the surface, they may be masking distress, emotionally shutting down, or building up stress that will eventually erupt elsewhere. This episode is essential listening for teachers, parents, and caregivers who want to truly understand the people they support—not just by what they do, but what they hide. Andy explores the cost of emotional suppression, the danger of unseen stress, and how to spot when “quiet” is actually a cry for help. If you support someone who’s “easy,” “shy,” or never says no—this episode could change everything. 💙 Sponsored by: Carers Card UK We’re proudly supported by carerscarduk.co.uk/promocode/abletocare 🔗 Resources Mentioned: Andy Baker’s Book – Targeting the Positive www.able-training.co.uk/podcast 💡 Three Key Messages: Quietness is not always calm—sometimes it’s a trauma response. People may mask distress by appearing agreeable, passive, or withdrawn. It’s not comfort—it’s survival. Submissive behaviour is costly—physically and emotionally. When emotions are repressed long-term, it can lead to chronic anxiety, burnout, and even trauma. Psychological safety allows people to show their true selves. Whether at home, school, or in care, we must create environments where people feel safe to say “no” and express emotion without fear of judgment. ⏱️ Timestamps / Chapters: 00:00 – Introduction: The myth of the “quiet, good one” 02:05 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK 03:00 – Why compliant behaviour often masks distress 05:00 – What is masking, and why does it drain emotional energy? 06:00 – The physiology of freeze and submit 07:00 – The Coke bottle analogy: When pressure builds up 08:00 – Why meltdowns happen at home, not school 10:00 – How quietness can be a trauma response 11:00 – How disassociation shows up in care and education settings 12:00 – Spotting the signs: the cost of never saying “no” 14:00 – Why we must reframe “no” as a healthy boundary 15:00 – Masking exhaustion and emotional burnout 16:00 – A story of hidden pain in a school toilet 17:00 – Practical signs to look out for 18:00 – Supporting safe expression and psychological safety 20:00 – What schools and services can do better 22:00 – Self-erasure vs. authentic self-expression 24:00 – The final message: Notice, name, and nurture the quiet ones 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode: If you’ve ever worked with or raised someone who “never causes trouble,” this episode might completely shift your perspective. You’ll learn: Why submissive behaviour can be more dangerous than defiance How stress builds when there’s no outlet for emotion What to watch out for in “easy” children or quiet clients How to build safe, trusting environments where true feelings can be expressed This is a must-listen for teachers, parents, support workers, foster carers, and social care staff who want to offer truly person-centred care and connection—not just good behaviour on the surface. 📲 Connect with Able Training: 🎧 Listen to all episodes: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast 📘 Andy’s book: Instagram – @abletraining Facebook – Able Training LinkedIn – Andy Baker YouTube – Able Training

In this solo episode of the Able to Care podcast, Andy Baker—behaviour specialist, author, trainer, and speaker—explores a topic that’s becoming impossible to ignore: artificial intelligence in care and education. With AI tools appearing in classrooms, care homes, and behaviour support planning, Andy asks: 🧠 Is AI a threat or an opportunity? 💡 Can it support person-centred practice—or risk removing the person altogether? This thought-provoking episode explores how AI can: Free up carers, teachers, and support workers to focus on what really matters Improve inclusion by adapting communication and materials to individual needs Assist with planning, documentation, and accessibility — without replacing empathy or connection Whether you're a parent using tech at home, a teacher considering AI tools, or a care professional balancing paperwork with people work—this episode is for you. 💙 Sponsored by: Carers Card UK Proud to support unpaid and paid carers across the UK. ✅ Emergency ID card ✅ Discounts on essentials, days out, clothing & glasses ✅ Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle & app-based support 🎁 All for less than the price of a box of chocolates a year. 👉 Able Training Courses www.able-training.co.uk/podcast 📘 Andy’s Book – Targeting the Positive: Instagram – @abletraining Facebook – Able Training LinkedIn – Andy Baker YouTube – Able Training

In this powerful episode of the Able to Care podcast, Andy Baker speaks with Jennifer Roblin, anxiety specialist, therapist, and founder of Better Your Life. Together, they explore how anxiety impacts the lives of carers, teachers, and parents — not just as a condition, but as a learned, evolutionary response we can better understand, reframe, and manage. Drawing from lived experience, neuroscience, and tools like NLP, nervous system resets, and heart coherence, Jennifer shares practical tips, relatable insights, and hope for those feeling overwhelmed or burnt out. Whether you’re supporting someone with anxiety or experiencing it yourself, this episode offers a refreshing, honest, and empowering perspective. 🎧 Why Listen to This Episode? You’ll understand the difference between stress and anxiety — and when to seek help You’ll learn powerful nervous system hacks you can use in the moment You’ll realise you're not broken — and how to reclaim your power step-by-step You’ll gain a fresh outlook on self-care that’s realistic, personal, and actionable You’ll hear a deeply relatable story that proves: anxiety doesn’t define you 💡 Three Key Messages Anxiety is a survival tool, not a personal flaw – understanding its evolutionary purpose changes how we respond to it. Small changes create big shifts – journaling, breathing, and nervous system resets can retrain the brain over time. Burnout isn’t weakness — it’s a signal – recognising early signs and reconnecting with nature and rest can prevent collapse. ⏱ Timestamps / Chapters 00:01 – Introduction & Sponsor: Carers Card UK 00:42 – Meet Jennifer Roblin and her lived experience with anxiety 03:00 – Panic attacks at 11 and early childhood messages 06:00 – Shifting identity and finding confidence abroad 10:00 – Reframing anxiety: from stigma to superpower 13:00 – What anxiety actually is and how it works 17:00 – Signs you’re dealing with anxiety vs. everyday stress 21:00 – The link between procrastination, fear of failure, and tribal instincts 24:00 – Burnout in caregivers and professionals — how to spot it early 29:00 – Jennifer’s go-to anxiety tools: journaling, breathing, nervous system hacks 34:00 – Why “self-care” needs a rebrand and what it looks like in real life 41:00 – Signs of progress, even when you don’t notice it 46:00 – What Jennifer would say to her younger self 50:00 – The one thing you can do today to begin change 🤝 Sponsor: Carers Card UK This episode is proudly sponsored by www.betteryourlife.co.uk Instagram: @bylanxietymgmt LinkedIn: Jennifer Roblin Free Journaling Prompts for Anxiety – available on Jennifer’s website Nervous System Reset Programme: £299 (10% off for Able to Care listeners) 📲 Follow Able Training & Able to Care 🎧 Podcast Home: able-training.co.uk/podcast 🔗 LinkedIn: Able Training 📸 Instagram: @abletraining 🟦 Facebook: Able Training 🎥 YouTube: Able Training YouTube

In this solo episode of the Able to Care podcast, behaviour specialist, trainer, and author Andy Baker unpacks Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)—or as many now prefer to call it, a Persistent Drive for Autonomy. If you’ve ever supported someone—child or adult—who seemed to resist even the simplest of requests, this episode will help you understand what’s really going on beneath the surface. Andy explores: What PDA is (and why language matters) Why traditional behaviour strategies often make things worse How to shift from confrontation to collaboration Practical, compassionate strategies for reducing anxiety and increasing cooperation This episode is a must-listen for parents, carers, teachers, and support staff seeking a more empathetic and effective approach to neurodivergent behaviour. 💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK Instagram – @abletraininguk Facebook – Able Training LinkedIn – Andy Baker

In this deeply personal and powerful conversation, Andy Baker speaks to Sabina Thorpe—a mum, carer, business leader, and woman who grew up silenced by a stammer and the weight of cultural expectations. Sabina opens up about her childhood experiences of bullying, being told to stay quiet, and feeling utterly alone. But she also shares how she turned those struggles into strength—first by learning to speak for herself, and then by building a call centre, multiple businesses, and eventually co-founding DeskVal, an AI-powered property valuation platform now disrupting the industry. This isn’t just a story of business—it’s a story of identity, resilience, and the power of being seen and heard. Whether you're caring for others, raising children, teaching young minds, or trying to reclaim your own voice, this episode will stay with you. 💙 Sponsored by: carerscarduk.co.uk/promo-code/abletocare 🔗 Resources & Links: 🌐 Sabina Thorpe on LinkedIn 🏡 DeskVal – AI Property Valuations 📲 Follow Sabina on Instagram 🎥 Interview: Sabina’s Journey to DeskVal 📰 Roma Finance launches DeskVal 📘 Instagram – @abletraininguk LinkedIn – Andy Baker Facebook – Able Training Website - Able Training

In this powerful episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker is joined by childhood trauma expert Shahana Knight, founder of TPC Therapy and the visionary behind the Therapeutic Schools approach. Together, they unpack how childhood trauma affects learning, behaviour, and wellbeing—and why traditional classroom models often fall short. Shahana shares her deeply personal story, how her father’s struggles with trauma inspired her work, and the evidence-backed changes schools can make to create therapeutic environments. From the power of play to the impact of overstimulation and digital overload, this episode is full of insights for educators, parents, and caregivers. 💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts. Carers Card UK offers: ID card with emergency info access Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year. 🎟️ Order your card today 🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned TPC Therapy Website: www.tpctherapy.co.uk Shahana Knight’s Book: Therapeutic Teaching Therapeutic Classroom Tour (YouTube): Watch Here The Able Hub: www.ablehub.uk – Free 14-day trial for carers and educators Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge 🧠 Three Key Messages Trauma Lives in the Body and the Classroom: Children with trauma often enter school in survival mode—traditional models miss this completely. Environment Shapes Regulation: A therapeutic classroom isn't just pretty—it's scientifically designed to calm stress and promote emotional safety. Adults Must Heal Too: You can't be truly trauma-informed without recognising and managing your own emotional triggers. ⏱️ Chapter Timestamps 00:00 – Intro & Sponsor: Carers Card UK 02:00 – Meet Shahana Knight 04:00 – The Origin of Therapeutic Classrooms 09:00 – Trauma's Impact on Learning & Self-Regulation 15:00 – Tech Overload: Why Kids Are Always in Fight or Flight 21:00 – Parenting in Survival Mode 28:00 – Signs of Trauma in Schoolchildren 35:00 – What a Therapeutic Classroom Looks Like 45:00 – Autonomy, Motivation & Emotional Literacy 55:00 – The Role of Educators Beyond Academics 01:00:00 – What’s Next for TPC Therapy 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? Whether you’re a teacher, caregiver, parent, or school leader, this conversation is a masterclass in trauma-informed practice. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by a child’s behaviour and didn’t know where to start—this episode is for you. Learn how to see beyond the behaviour and create environments that heal, not harm.

In this powerful solo episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker explores why shame—while still commonly used to manage behaviour in homes, classrooms, and care settings—often does more harm than good. From outdated scripts to emotional reactions, we dive into how shame suppresses learning, damages trust, and diminishes self-esteem in children and adults alike. Whether you’re a teacher, parent, or carer, this episode offers practical insights on how to shift away from shame-based responses and towards compassionate, constructive behaviour support. 💡 Sponsor: Carers Card UK This episode is proudly sponsored by Carers Card UK, the UK’s number one carers card offering discounts, support, and community for paid and unpaid carers. ✨ For less than the price of a box of chocolates a year, members get: ✅ Discounts on gyms, days out, clothes, glasses & more ✅ A wellbeing hub and the Carers Circle app ✅ An ID card that unlocks emergency info and shows you care 👉 Get your Carers Card here: 🔗 https://www.carerscarduk.co.uk/promocode/abletocare 🛠️ Resources Mentioned 📖 Targeting the Positive: A Practical Guide to Understanding and Supporting Challenging Behaviours by Andy Baker 🔗 Able Training 🔑 Key Messages Shame doesn’t teach — it suppresses: Labelling children or adults as “naughty” or “bad” can damage their self-esteem and block emotional growth. Short-term compliance isn’t long-term learning: Shame may stop behaviour in the moment, but it doesn’t foster understanding, empathy, or reflection. Teach through connection, not condemnation: Use natural consequences, curiosity, and reflection to guide behaviour positively and sustainably. ⏳ Timestamps (Chapters) 00:00 – Why calling a child “naughty” can be harmful 01:11 – 🎧 Sponsor: Carers Card UK 02:18 – The psychology of shame and learned helplessness 03:48 – Real-world examples: classrooms, care homes, and parenting 05:03 – The long-term damage of shame on self-esteem 06:22 – Shame breeds secrecy, not growth 07:02 – Shame breaks trust and emotional connection 07:45 – Why shame persists and how it's emotionally reactive 08:35 – Instant compliance vs. authentic behaviour change 09:36 – Fight, flight, freeze: How shame becomes an emotional weapon 10:40 – How to replace shame with restorative practice and empathy 11:52 – Use natural consequences, not humiliation 12:56 – Respond with curiosity, not condemnation 13:50 – Repair and reflect after behaviour, not reprimand 14:46 – The myth of “not enough discipline” and the call for connection 15:40 – What kind of society are we really building with shame? 🎧 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode is a must-listen for: ✔ Parents navigating challenging behaviour ✔ Teachers balancing emotional needs and discipline in the classroom ✔ Carers supporting individuals with emotional or behavioural distress You’ll walk away with practical ways to support behaviour through empathy, growth mindset, and restorative connection—instead of outdated shame-based tools. 🔗 Connect with Us 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk 🎧 If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, share it with someone who needs to hear it, and leave a review. Let’s create a world where behaviour is understood—not shamed.