Fly To Freedom: The anorexia recovery podcast

Already anxious about Christmas food, weight gain or comments across the table? If you're in eating disorder recovery, the festive season can feel overwhelming long before December arrives.It's only early November, and part of you may already be rehearsing Christmas dinner while another part writes the list of everything that has to be done perfectly. Your recovery work still counts. Your brain has spotted uncertainty and started preparing early.In this episode of Fly To Freedom, I explore Christmas anxiety in eating disorder recovery: why your mind rehearses difficult situations, how perfectionism adds pressure, and how to find support without creating more food rules or recovery expectations.I share how I once felt I'd failed if the Christmas shopping wasn't finished before November, and ask whose standards we're really trying to meet.We look at the difference between practical Christmas planning and repetitive worry, including how eating disorder rules can disguise themselves as sensible preparation. You'll hear ways to choose one or two useful supports, manage the fear of judgement and set boundaries around unhelpful comments.Whether you're recovering from anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, orthorexia or another eating disorder, this conversation offers a compassionate way to approach festive anxiety. It's also for anyone supporting someone through eating disorder recovery at Christmas.You can feel anxious and still take part, connect with people and find moments that matter. A difficult day is information, not a verdict on your recovery.Key takeawaysRepeatedly imagining Christmas meals and gatherings can reinforce fear rather than help you feel ready.Perfectionism and eating disorder rules often share the same demands: do more, get it right and earn your rest.Separating actual comments from imagined judgement can help you recognise your inner critic.Useful planning reaches a decision; the worry loop keeps chasing certainty.A trusted person to message or a phrase for setting boundaries can offer practical support.Eating disorder recovery at Christmas can include anxiety, imperfect moments and meaningful experiences.In this episode00:00 The dread arrives early05:22 Why the anxious brain rehearses10:48 The pressure to make it perfect14:39 Whose standard is it anyway?17:44 Planning or the worry loop?24:00 A gentler way to look ahead30:17 When the dread meets the day35:35 Bringing it togetherMentionedEpisode 89: Christmas special with Vic — Christmas expectations and festive stock appearing before Halloween.Episode 166: The fear beneath the fear — why willingness is enough even when you feel unready.Episode 145: Perfectionism — how my brain used to be a constant calculation. https://youtu.be/kiNaAkAIvPAEpisode 35: The festive season basics — planning ahead, support and boundaries.Episode 140: When joy feels out of reach at this time of year. https://youtu.be/aKU2YEUDS20Eating disorder recovery supportFor community this Christmas and beyond, The Circle in the ED Recovery Circle app offers connection with people who understand, all my courses, live calls with me and Julia AI: https://edrecoverycircle.comFor personalised eating disorder recovery coaching, explore working with me through a relaxed, no-pressure conversation: https://juliatrehane.comFor daily recovery tools, download the free ED Recovery Circle app. Free for as long as you like, with no card needed: https://edrecoverycircle.com

What happens when the behaviours that are hurting you also feel like the things holding you together?In this episode of Fly to Freedom – The Anorexia Recovery Podcast, I’m joined by embodiment coach, speaker and podcast host Anthea Bell for a compassionate conversation about the needs beneath eating disorder behaviours and what it means to build a life beyond them.Drawing on our lived experiences of anorexia recovery, we explore why restriction, compulsive exercise, work and people-pleasing can become ways of seeking safety, acceptance or control. Anthea shares her personal understanding of anorexia as “the perfect expression of an unmet need”, opening up a conversation about approaching these patterns with curiosity while recognising the harm they cause.We talk about the fear of letting go, the difference between short-term relief and genuinely compassionate action, and the support that helps us make recovery choices even when those choices feel frightening. Alongside nourishment and changes in behaviour, we explore learning to feel our emotions, receive love and discover who we are beyond performing, pleasing and proving.In this episode, we explore:Why an eating disorder can feel protective, even while it causes suffering.How shame, secrecy and the need to be “the good one” can make asking for help difficult.Why control can shift between food, exercise, work and other behaviours during recovery.The difference between feeling afraid and being in danger.Learning to experience emotions without immediately trying to suppress or escape them.How to recognise when “being kind to myself” is becoming a reason to restrict.Why honesty, trusted support and accountability matter in eating disorder recovery.The role of connection and community in learning to receive care.What freedom can look like when you begin living according to your own needs and values.One of the threads running through this conversation is that you are worthy of love and care at every stage of recovery. You can begin practising compassionate actions before you feel confident, ready or comfortable in your body, and you can let other people support you along the way.About Anthea BellAnthea Bell is an embodiment coach, public speaker and host of Embodied with Anthea Bell. She supports people to deepen their connection with themselves, understand the patterns that keep them feeling stuck and build lives with greater authenticity, creativity and fulfilment. Her work brings together the body, emotions, beliefs and everyday actions, with clients including actors, creatives, entrepreneurs and coaches.Having experienced anorexia, compulsive eating, exercise compulsion and workaholism, Anthea brings a deeply personal understanding of seeking safety through control and achievement. In this conversation, she shares how recovery opened up the possibility of expressing her needs, receiving love and becoming more fully herself.Through her coaching, speaking and podcast, Anthea explores what it means to move beyond familiar coping patterns and develop a more compassionate, honest relationship with ourselves. Her podcast features conversations about mind–body connection, personal transformation and living authentically.Connect with Anthea:Website: ab-embodimentcoaching.orgInstagram: @ab_embodimentPodcast — Spotify: Embodied with Anthea BellPodcast — Apple Podcasts: Embodied with Anthea BellFind support with JuliaIf this conversation feels familiar, you are very welcome in The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle. A space to share the things that feel difficult to explain, connect with people who recognise those experiences and receive encouragement as you practise recovery in everyday life.Explore the Circle: edrecoverycircle.comFor information about 1:1 eating disorder recovery coaching, visit juliatrehane.com.If this episode helps you feel understood, please share it with someone who might need it and follow Fly to Freedom wherever you listen to podcasts.

Does Anyone Else Feel Like This? Eating Disorder Recovery Q&AHave you ever heard someone describe a feeling you thought only you had? That moment of recognition can mean so much, especially when eating disorder recovery feels lonely or difficult to explain.In this episode of Fly to Freedom – The Anorexia Recovery Podcast, I’m joined by a group of women at different stages of recovery for another warm, honest Q&A. After such a lovely response to our previous group episode, we’ve come together again to answer real questions, share our experiences and make space for the things we’re still working through.We talk about eating when physical hunger feels absent, hearing about extreme hunger and wondering why your experience seems different. The women share how they’ve approached nourishment when hunger signals feel unclear, including their experiences of regular, structured eating and seeking permission to meet their needs.We explore compulsive exercise, fear of weight gain and what happens when trying to do “just a little” movement begins taking over again. Alongside this, we discuss the guilt around resting, the pressure to be productive and how general health messages can feel confusing when you’re recovering from a restrictive eating disorder.We also make space for recovery in midlife: feeling embarrassed to talk about an eating disorder, being dismissed because of age or appearance, and finding reassurance in hearing from other women who understand.Then we turn towards some deeply personal questions. Who are you beyond exercise, restriction and always getting things done? What if you make the changes and life still feels difficult? How do you move towards something different when familiar eating disorder behaviours seem to offer safety?There’s tenderness, laughter and plenty of shared recognition as we explore self-compassion, rediscovering enjoyment, navigating fear and allowing connection to include boundaries.In this episode, we explore:Physical hunger, mental hunger and different experiences of extreme hunger.Eating when hunger feels quiet and using regular, structured nourishment.Seeking permission to eat, rest and meet your needs.Compulsive exercise, body changes and fear of weight gain.Rest guilt and linking self-worth to productivity.Weight-focused health messages, BMI and difficult healthcare encounters.Anorexia recovery over 40 and the impact of eating disorder stereotypes.Identity, joy and life beyond restrictive routines.Fear, familiar coping behaviours and supporting yourself through difficult life events.Social connection, personal boundaries and feeling less alone.Whatever stage you’re at, I hope you hear something that helps you feel understood and opens up a little more possibility for yourself.Find support and connectionJoin The Eating Disorder Recovery Circle for a welcoming community where you can ask questions, share your experiences and connect with people who understand.For information about working with me through 1:1 eating disorder recovery coaching, visit juliatrehane.com.You can also watch this conversation on my YouTube channel. Follow Fly to Freedom wherever you listen to podcasts, and share this episode with someone who might find comfort in hearing it.

The Fear Beneath the Fear: Why You Don’t Need to Feel Ready for Eating Disorder RecoveryFear can make eating disorder recovery feel impossible. There may be fear of weight gain, eating more, feeling full, resting, stopping compulsive exercise or allowing your body to change. But what if the biggest thing keeping you stuck is not the feared experience itself, but the belief that you will be unable to cope with how it makes you feel?In this episode of Fly to Freedom – The Anorexia Recovery Podcast, I explore the fear beneath the fear and why waiting to feel ready can delay anorexia recovery.For decades, I believed that controlling food, exercise and my body was keeping me safe. Restriction, movement, body checking and rules gave me temporary relief from anxiety. Yet every time I used an eating disorder behaviour to reduce fear, my brain learned that the behaviour had protected me from danger.It never had the opportunity to discover what might happen if I did not obey the fear.That is why eating disorder behaviours can remain so compelling, even when you understand that they are keeping you trapped. Eating less, compensating after food, exercising or seeking reassurance may make anxiety fall in the moment, but that relief teaches the brain to ask for the same behaviour again next time.Recovery begins to change when you create a gap between the fear and the response. That could mean eating the food without compensating, resting without making up for it later, allowing fullness to pass, or noticing a change in your body without checking or trying to undo it.The goal is not to become fearless before you recover. It is to build evidence that you can experience fear, guilt, uncertainty and discomfort without abandoning yourself.In this episode, I explore:Why fear of weight gain is often only the beginning of the storyWhat may sit beneath the fear of eating more or gaining weightWhy avoidance strengthens eating disorder behavioursThe difference between feeling ready and being willingWhy confidence usually follows recovery actionsHow restriction, body checking and compulsive exercise provide temporary reliefWhy difficult emotions do not mean a recovery action is wrongHow repetition builds self-trust and nervous system safetyWhy recovery progress is better measured by what you do than by how comfortable you feelHow to face a difficult body image day without turning against yourselfThe eating disorder will show you the immediate cost of moving forwards, but it rarely shows you the cost of staying where you are. Another year of avoiding restaurants, needing calorie information, exercising through exhaustion or waiting for your body to feel acceptable carries a cost too.Eating disorder recovery is rarely a choice between fear and no fear. Often, it is a choice between the fear that keeps you trapped and the fear that may eventually set you free.You can feel frightened and still nourish yourself. You can feel guilty and still rest. You can dislike a photograph and still go out for dinner. You can experience body image distress and continue caring for yourself.You do not have to know exactly how recovery will feel. Little by little, you can learn that whatever feelings arise, you will remain on your own side.That is how self-trust grows, and that is where freedom begins.For compassionate support with anorexia recovery, fear of weight gain, compulsive exercise, body image or letting go of eating disorder rules, visit:https://www.juliatrehane.comThe Eating Disorder Recovery Circle offers practical recovery resources, courses, workshops, community support, monthly Meetups and a monthly coaching call with me.https://www.edrecoverycircle.com/joinEating disorder recovery supportJoin the Eating Disorder Recovery Circle

The Woman I Never Imagined I Could Become: Julia’s Recovery Q&AThis episode of Fly to Freedom – The Anorexia Recovery Podcast is a little different. Instead of answering questions about the struggles you may be facing in recovery, I’m answering your questions about me: the woman I was, how I recovered after living with anorexia for forty years, and what my life looks and feels like now.I share why eating more, resting and restoring my weight were essential foundations of recovery, but were not enough to give me complete freedom. Although my body was healing, I still carried the beliefs that had fuelled the eating disorder for decades: that I was not good enough, that love had to be earned and that my worth depended upon staying small, being productive and keeping everybody else happy.Full recovery required me to look beneath the food, exercise and body obsession. It meant replacing judgement with curiosity, separating facts from the painful stories I had attached to them, and gradually building a relationship with myself based on compassion rather than punishment.In this episode, I explore:How I moved from forty years of anorexia to complete freedomWhy weight restoration was essential but was not the end of my recoveryHow I knew I was fully recoveredWhy my experience led me to become an eating disorder recovery coachHow and why I created the Eating Disorder Recovery CircleWhy I stopped exercise completely and how I eventually returned to movementThe difference between choosing to exercise and feeling compelled to exerciseHow I respond to diet culture and difficult body-image daysWhat recovery has changed within my marriage, family and everyday lifeHow recovery helped me remain present through grief, fear and Dave’s strokeWhy authenticity, simplicity and self-confidence have been some of recovery’s greatest giftsHow I became the woman I could never have imagined becomingRecovery has not made life perfect or removed sadness, fear, insecurity and loss. It has given me the ability to experience all of life without abandoning myself or returning to restriction, compulsive exercise and control.I can have a difficult day in my body and continue treating her with care. I can feel grief without needing to numb it, experience fear without imagining every possible disaster and make mistakes without believing they say something terrible about me. I can ask for help, express an opinion, create boundaries and allow myself to be fully present with the people I love.When I began anorexia recovery, I thought I was fighting for freedom from food rules, exercise and body obsession. I did not realise I was finding my way home to myself.If you are somewhere in the difficult, uncertain middle of eating disorder recovery, the life ahead may be much bigger than you can currently imagine. The person you are today cannot yet know everything the version of you who keeps going will discover.If you want to live a life of freedom from an eating disorder, I can help you. You can learn more about working with me and the recovery support available at juliatrehane.com.