Getting Off with Natalie + Rocky

Do you want to know what it's like to experience a life fully saturated in pleasure? Great! You are in the right place! In this podcast, we will cover how to create the kind of safety with a partner that will allow you to release your inhibitions and open up to more of what pleasure and intimacy have to offer. We're here to help you prioritize pleasure, so you can experience more satisfaction and fulfillment in your life. We are Natalie Vires - a pleasure and intimacy coach, and Rocky Peterson - a yoni massage practitioner and pleasure educator. Between the two of us, we have helped hundreds of people to deepen their relationship to their own pleasure. If you're chomping at the bit and want to get started on your own adventure, head to gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com to get started.Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

Welcome to Getting Off with Natalie + Rocky, where our mission is to help you experience more safety and enjoyment in the bedroom. First, we’d like to introduce ourselves. We are Natalie Vires - a pleasure and intimacy coach, and Rocky Peterson - a yoni massage practitioner and pleasure educator. Between the two of us, we have helped hundreds of people to deepen their relationship to their own pleasure.In this introductory episode, we’ll talk about how we met, how our work complements each other, and some keys to jumpstart better intimacy.We’re not here to give you tips for hookups. What we are here for is to help you find that depth of intimacy that allows your dream sexual experiences to come to fruition regularly. In this podcast we’ll cover everything from sensual confidence to safety, and the ripple effects that come with a fulfilling sex life.Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

Why the blow job course? Why yoni massage? How did it all get started? In this episode we will go into deeper detail about what we offer our clients, how we came to do this work, and why. With Natalie, the blow job course started as an off-hand comment that piqued a lot of interest in other women. With Rocky, an injury forced a job change and he found a niche in teaching women how to drive a man crazy with their hands, which then turned into sensual massage, which then opened into pleasure coaching and helping women heal from sexual trauma by offering a new experience.Natalie’s own experience in doing the work she does with her clients has given her the confidence to love her body and really be present, curious, and playful with intimate partners without bringing the old traumas and insecurities along for the ride.In this episode you’ll get a taste of what our courses are like and how we work with our clients, as well as some translation between sexes about the importance of communication, safety, and relaxation.Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

Why do we sometimes get to a place when our own pleasure isn’t a priority? Not just with sex and intimacy, but all of life’s pleasures in general. What happens to get us to that place?  And how can we tell the difference between nervous anticipation and fear?Come along as we consider:Pleasure vs. obligationSocietal gender roles and their effect on leadership roles in relationshipsSocietal programming around pleasureFreedom and autonomyReprogramming yourself to be able to receive pleasureWe want the most pleasurable pleasure for you, but you’re going to have to do some work to make sure you’re open to it.Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

You know that feeling when you wake up and realize you don’t really know what you want? When living the expectations that we’re conditioned to follow, we’re not reflecting on what really makes us happy, what really lights us up, and what we really want from life. Part of the work we do is to push people to really examine what they want and get used to expressing it. Having a safe container in which to experiment is a healing experience. But, just knowing what we want isn’t enough - we also need to do the work to be able to truly receive it.Our conversation will explore:Knowing what you really wantCommunicating what you wantGiving yourself permission to wantBeing receptiveThe energy of reciprocityWhat RBF is about and what to do about itLearn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

A lot of us carry shame around sexuality and everything that goes with it. That’s why we’re having this conversation today. We’ll talk about where this shame comes from. Sexuality is treated like it has to be “just right” or not at all, but it’s a moving target that we’re all supposed to just understand somehow. Sexual shame comes from many places, like religion, culture, and even politics as a tool of control for the patriarchy. The shame doesn’t just harm women, though - sexual shame breeds sexual violence of all kinds. So, what can we do about it?Letting go of shame can allow you to:Be vulnerable with others and build intimate connectionsCommunicate betterHave a more deeply enjoyable sex lifeShame is very heavy. That’s why it’s used for control. Releasing your shame around sexuality is the key to a light, joyful sex life.Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

It can feel very natural to let a man lead. There are also times when a person who’s often in a leadership position wants a break from that and it’s a nice change of pace. So, the question is, how do we know when to lead and when to allow our partner to take the initiative? Women need to feel a sense of safety in any kind of intimacy, but guys tend to jump the gun and skip the part about learning who she is, what she’s about, and what she really likes and wants. When it comes down to it, leadership is:CommunicationBeing attuned to your partnerA dance between the 2 of youRespectful and kindLeadership is not:CoercionForcefulManipulationIf any of this hit a nerve with you, now is a good time to start doing the inner work on yourself to figure out what you really want and how to communicate it.Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

Today we’re going into some detail about what Natalie’s blow job course is really about and the bigger picture of why so many men tend to want, and even expect, deep throat.Penetration is a natural impulse and desire, but it’s important to recognize when it’s been warped into a shadow version of itself that’s capable of causing harm. Often, sexual preferences can come from traumatic experiences during one’s formative years, but that doesn’t have to be the end of it.In our courses, we teach our clients how to really slow down, understand what is happening in their partner’s body, and bring you both to heights of connection and pleasure you’ve never known before.Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

There’s a lot of messages in our culture that pleasure isn’t important and should only be enjoyed after all the “productive” things are done. There tends to be a lot of shame around seeking pleasure because it’s sort of a forbidden fruit.In this episode, we’re going to explore why it’s important to reconnect with pleasure in general, what gets in the way, and what we can do about it.When we’re disconnected from our pleasure, we’re disconnected from our sense of agency in our day-to-day lives. It could be work getting in the way, societal pressure, family or upbringing, but it’s important to find some pleasure for yourself.What things do you truly enjoy?What is getting in your way?What’s one small pleasure you can allow yourself today?Part of our work with clients is to support the inner work to get to a place where they can prioritize pleasure and start to see how the small effects of that pleasure build up over time.Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

This is a big question that we work with all the time. Unfortunately, people tend to know more of what they don’t want than what they do want. So, how can we figure out what we like and what we want?It may be as simple as opening up the conversation about trying new things with your partner and creating the safe environment for that. This isn’t the same thing as telling them what you want to try - this needs to be a conversation of intimate curiosity.Boundaries are not:Listing off rulesDefensive self-protectionThink about what your ideal experience is. Sit in curiosity with yourself and look at what you are available for, and what you are not available for. You are responsible for manifesting these things, or lack of things, in your life.Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

Today we’re getting into the concept of play and fun, both in the bedroom and outside. There are some things that get in the way of really having fun and exploring that we’re going to talk about today.This can include:CompartmentalizingLack of safetyLack of communicationLike almost everything we talk about, creating safety is key. If you feel safe, it’s easy to be in that fun, playful, silly, vulnerable state. If you want someone to feel safe with you naked, they need to feel safe with you clothed and just having a good time together. By choosing to be open to potential and playfulness, there will be more of that in our lives.Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

For true pleasure to happen, connection has to be there too. One does not equal the other. Today we’re going to talk about how and why pleasure can happen more frequently and richly with better connection.Disconnection can happen in a bunch of different ways:Avoiding the hard conversationsRepeating the same dynamic in every relationshipHaving to “buck up” and “be a man” and avoid all feelingsAvoiding someone else’s mess to avoid dealing with our own messWhen you’re with someone who is feeling triggered or messy, that’s the time to lean in with some curiosity and empathy so that they know that they are still worth of your love and attention. That’s the perfect time to practice your attunement so your connection will be that much stronger when things aren’t messy.Your job this week is to find something a little messy in your relationship and approach your partner openly and constructively to work on making it better. Watch how much closer you get when you both address the mess.Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

Today we’re going to get into where we can go with everything we’ve been talking about - and why we’re having these conversations in the first place. Play and pleasure so often get put last, but we’re here to help more people get more enjoyment, connection, love, sex, vibrance, peace and vibrance in their lives.We have both learned a lot about ourselves and each other just since we started this podcast. We’ll talk about some of what we’ve discovered and the inner work we’ve done on ourselves as a result of our talks here. What’s the risk of not doing the work yourself? More disconnection and guilt, less enjoyment and pleasure. What is it that you really want and what’s in your way?Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains content involving sexual assault.We’ve been hinting at a kink episode for several weeks now, so here it is! Kink isn’t necessarily the same as an inhibition, but the definition and expression varies from person to person. Kinks are rooted in our experiences in life and there are certain things that shift our attraction to one thing or another.The world of kink isn’t a comfort zone for either of us, but in this episode we’ll explore what kinks are, where they may come from, and how to tell a healthy kink experience from an unhealthy one. Is this kink really serving you, or are you ultimately retraumatizing yourself? Is there complete trust and respect? Or is there something deeper that you need to heal within yourself?Send us your kink list at  gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

We’ve brought up many, many times the fact that emulating porn does not lead to good sex. In this episode, we’ll dig into why and what’s actually necessary for good, connected, intimate, quality sex.The standard set by porn is unrealistic and not likely to give either party much pleasure. Although men are more visually stimulated, actually trying to follow the marathon pounding of porn isn't the same as good sex.The biggest difference is that porn is highly theatrical. A good quality coupling comes from connection, presence, and fostering an intimate friendship with your partner.Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

Sensual confidence - what is it, and how is it different from sexual confidence?To start with, sensual by definition means to experience something through all of the senses. Having that radiance isn’t the same as flaunting your sexuality - it inspires respect and adoration rather than lewdness. The problem is, many women are told and taught to dim their light - for their own safety, of course.When Natalie teaches sensual confidence, a big part of her sessions is training your body what safety feels like in order to allow the automatic trauma responses to loosen their grip, so the nervous system can relax. Insecurity is what holds many people back in the bedroom. When people are comfortable in their own bodies, it’s a lot easier to be vulnerable with someone else.What is your current relationship to confidence in general and how you feel about yourself? We challenge you to take a vulnerable moment with yourself to really acknowledge your confidence  on a scale of 1-10.Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

Today we’re visiting with Damien Bohler, founder of Evolutionary Relating, the art of relating that leads to so much possibility, so much potential, so much joy and beauty and love. Damien is a self-proclaimed pragmatic visionary. He has very big visions for where we can go as humanity, but he’s also fascinated by the day-to-day processes of getting there.The way this works in relationships is like in construction. There’s an ideal sequence and process to building a strong relationship, but with the extra variable of both of you having a human consciousness.In our conversation we’ll get into attraction, healthy and unhealthy attachment patterns, and the 4 pieces of Damien’s work: relating, attachment, polarity, and transpersonal. Damien hopes that by moving individuals past the basic evolutionary stages of relationships, that the impact will expand out to the world as a whole.His website: evolutionaryrelating.orgFollow him on FacebookInstagram: @evorelatingLearn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

What is attraction really about and why does it sometimes fade? How much of it is purely physical? That’s the topic today and we’re going to go deep into what magnetic attraction is and how to build it.While attraction can often be considered mostly physical, true magnetism happens and stays strong when both partners are strong and sturdy in their own self-care, self-love, and knowing how to fill their own cup. We’ll talk a lot about what happens when people expect others to fulfill their needs versus how to keep themselves filled up in order to act with reciprocity.True magnetic attraction starts with yourself.Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

It’s common to feel a strong urge for intimacy, but it can sometimes happen when sex is unavailable to you. The reasons for that could range from just being single to being in a committed relationship but your partner is ill or not on board. We’re going to talk about some simple things you can do to get what you want without having to feel like you’re forcing it.While the need may feel sexual, it’s not always just a need for intercourse. There’s a lot of emotional needs that are tangled up in there as well that can be met in other ways. We’ll talk about navigating the world of dating apps, romancing yourself, and how to navigate what’s really underneath the burning desire to connect with someone sexually.Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production

When you’re sharing intimacy with someone, do you really feel seen and valued? That’s the question we’re asking today. This could mean anything from your partner giving you a compliment or keeping the light on, to how you feel about each other in the day-to-day of your life together.So much of what sex is doesn’t start in the bedroom. It starts with the relationship, the connection, the communication, and being on the same page with how you’re building your life together.Learn more about working with us at gettingoffwithnatalieandrocky.com!Music credit: The Funkster by Sweet SpotA Podcast Launch Bestie production