Stillbirth Happens - Let's Talk

In the final episode of Season 2, we meet Kimberly Lockhart, bereaved Mama to Wilder Jay, who was stillborn at full term. Kimberly shares Wilder Jay’s birth story and her deep need for connection and resources to support her grief journey, which led her and other bereaved parents to organize the inaugural Vancouver Butterfly Run in 2019. Today, the Butterfly Run supports the Butterfly Support Network, which helps families whose lives have been touched by infertility, pregnancy loss, and infant loss. As Wilder Jay’s legacy, the Butterfly Support Network aims to ensure that anyone who experiences loss on their journey to parenthood finds community and doesn’t walk alone.Key Insights[3:44] “...we were able to have access to a Cuddle Cot.”CuddleCots provide continuous regulated cooling, enabling families extended time to create memories, welcome family, receive support and plan.[5:19] “...the first question was like: do I have to go through the delivery process?And of course, the answer was yes, right?”Unless there is a medical reason for recommending a cesarean section (c-section), most people whose baby has died before labour begins will be advised to have a vaginal birth. Your healthcare team should talk with you about options and support as you make the decision best for you.[13:33] “...there was another Tiny Footprints Walk that was in Alberta.”The Tiny Footprints Society was created in Calgary in 2016 and holds their annual walk in October.[13:38] “There was another Memorial Walk and Run Butterfly Run Ottawa...”The Butterfly Run Ottawa raises awareness and support for pregnancy loss, infant loss and infertility. All proceeds from the Run go to Roger Neilson Children’s Hospice, a pediatric palliative care hospice.[15:51] “You made a decision to donate Wilder's milk...”The BC Women’s Provincial Milk Bank collects donated milk and gives it to sick or very tiny babies in over 23 hospitals. Learn about Kim’s decision to donate milk.[21:25] “So for 2025 we have a walk and run in October in Vancouver, Kelowna,Nanaimo and Whistler...”The first Butterfly Run Vancouver, in 2019, surpassed attendance and fundraising goals. In 2025 the Butterfly Run expanded to Vancouver, Kelowna, Nanaimo and Whistler.ResourcesBritish ColumbiaButterfly Support NetworkMiscarriage & Treatment OptionsRecurrent Pregnancy LossAfter the Loss of Your BabySupporting the Stillbirth Journey at BC Women’s Hospital + Health CentreAlbertaPregnancy & Infant Loss Support CentrePregnancy & Infant Loss – Grief SupportAfter Your MiscarriageAfter Your StillbirthAfter the Loss of Your NewbornVideo: A Parent’s View of Pregnancy and Infant LossHeal Grief: Providing Community, Support & ConnectionsSaskatchewanPregnancy & Infant LossPregnancy and Infant Loss Support CentreEmpty Arms Perinatal Loss Support ServicesManitobaDragonfly Support ProgramOntarioPregnancy & Infant Loss (PAIL) Network – Sunnybrook HospitalMarkham Fertility Centre: Recurrent Pregnancy LossOttawa Fertility Centre: Pregnancy LossQuébecCentre for Reproductive Loss/Centre Des Pertes ReproductivesGrieving Reproductive Loss: The Healing ProcessParents Orphelins: The Quebec Association of Parents Experiencing Perinatal BereavementRéseau des Centres de Ressources Périnatales du QuébecJewish General Hospital: Early Pregnancy LossThe Family Care Collective: the Perinatal Loss ProjectWomen on the RiseAtlantic ProvincesIWK Health Centre, Nova ScotiaROSE Clinic, Nova ScotiaGovernment of Prince Edward Island: Pregnancy LossPEI: Sexual Health, Options & Reproductive ServicesNL: Health Services: Loss During PregnancyNL: Perinatal BereavementNL: Bereavement ServicesNL: Bridge the gappNL: Perinatal Mental Health and FertilityFertility Matters Canada, support group for the Atlantic ProvincesTerritoriesUUmmati Perinatal Support ProgramiRare Centres

In this episode, Liza Walter shares her journey of reproductive loss which includes a long fertility journey, miscarriage and surrogacy. She also describes the beautiful, yet heart wrenching, birth of her son, Levi, who was stillborn at 34 weeks. As we come to understand the lengths Liza and her partner Jaye went to to become parents, we learn that not every reproductive journey ends with parenting a living child. We also hear from Courtney Handja, a registered clinical counsellor, who specializes in supporting 2SLGBTQIA+ individuals through reproduction and loss. Courtney shares what meaningful, inclusive care looks like, and why it’s so urgently needed.Key Insights[4:16] “I was diagnosed with PCOS...”Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is a common hormonal condition which causes an imbalance of hormones (often insulin and testosterone). This affects the functioning of the ovaries, metabolic health, and sometimes mood.[4:25] “But eventually, after multiple failed IUIs, I got pregnant.”In Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), a doctor takes specially prepared sperm and places it directly into the uterus around the time the ovary releases an egg, to increase the chances of fertilization.[9:45] “The obstetrician came and told us that he was diagnosed with Trisomy 13...”Trisomy 13 is a rare and serious genetic disorder in which individuals have three copies of chromosome 13 instead of two, often due to a random error during the formation of reproductive cells. Trisomy 13 is usually fatal at or soon after birth.[23:20] “the number of folks who have babies in the queer community is less than it is among cishet folks.”“Cishet” is an informal term for people who are both cisgender and heterosexual. “Cisgender” describes people whose gender aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth. “Heterosexual” describes those who are attracted to people of the opposite sex.[26:32] “...each of those embryos resulted in either a chemical pregnancy or a negative pregnancy test.”A chemical pregnancy is an early pregnancy loss that can be detected by a blood or urine test, but it is too early for an ultrasound to show a developing embryo.[29:52] “I did that through my work with advocating for the Bill 141...”Bill 141 - Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness, Research and Care Act, 2015, was enacted to address the emotional, medical, and social aspects of pregnancy loss and infant death.[30:05] “I became an educator for PAIL in 2015”The Pregnancy and Infant Loss (PAIL) Network is a program in Ontario, Canada, dedicated to supporting families who have experienced pregnancy loss or the death of an infant.ResourcesGeneralReturn to Zero HOPE: Resources for LGBTQ+ FamiliesCompanion Website: LGBTQ+ Reproductive LossWords of Advice: LGBTQ+ Reproductive LossMagazines and storiesPregnancy After Loss SupportUSA Based: Resources on pregnancy loss, stillbirth and infant loss for LGBTQ+ parentsUSA Based: Empty Arms Bereavement/LGBTQ ResourcesSue Ryder: Supporting the LGBTQ+ community through grief and bereavementDigital collages for parents and support peopleBooksReproductive Losses: Challenges to LGBTQ Family-MakingPodcastsRiver’s Story, Lesbian Parenting and Travelling with Grief with Jaimie-Lee RoyAcademic articlesStories of Grief and Hope: Queer Experiences of Reproductive Loss Breaking the Silence: Infertility, Motherhood, and Queer CultureLGBTQ+ individuals and pregnancy outcomes: A commentaryVideosLoss in the LGBTQ+ Community Trans and Gender Diverse Family Building for Providers

In this episode, we learn from Leah Riske, the non-gestational parent to Maddux, who was born still in 2023, about her unique experiences of family planning with her wife, Sara, and teaching their older son, Nolan, about his younger brother. We also hear from Cora Beitel, midwife and owner of the Strathcona Midwifery Collective, about how important it is for providers to not make assumptions about the needs of families. Meeting the needs of each unique family means listening to and learning from clients and patients and taking time to self-reflect.Key Insights[3:42] “Nolan was a two-round IVF baby...” In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a complex series of procedures that can lead to a pregnancy. During IVF, mature eggs are collected from ovaries and fertilized by sperm in a lab. Then a procedure  is done to place one or more of the fertilized eggs, called embryos, in a uterus, which is where a pregnancy develops. One cycle of IVF usually involves one month to assess the uterus, another month to suppress  ovarian function, and then 2 weeks of ovarian stimulation that may lead to egg retrieval. The eggs retrieved may undergo a procedure to be frozen, may be fertilized in the lab, or transferred to a uterus. For many, a single cycle of IVF, involving the preparatory month, is a 2–3-month process.One full cycle of IVF takes about 2 to 3 weeks. A 2 or 3 round IVF cycle means that eggs are collected from 2 or 3 consecutive cycles and fertilized; the best quality embryos are then transferred in a final procedure and any additional embryos can be frozen and stored for later use.  [5:25] “...my wife decided at that point to be induced and then just have a natural birth with medics.” “Natural birth with medics” refers to delivering Maddux vaginally with the support of medication.  [31:20] “...it was a cord accident for Maddux.” The term “cord accident” is often used when a baby dies before birth and the umbilical cord  appears to be involved, but it’s important to understand that this is a non-specific and informal  term, not a clear medical diagnosis. The phrase “cord accident” refers broadly to situations in  which the cord’s function may have been compromised enough to affect the baby’s oxygen  supply, possibly leading to stillbirth. Umbilical cord abnormalities, such as a tight cord around the neck (nuchal cord), true knots, or  cord prolapse, can sometimes interfere with oxygen flow. However, many of these findings—especially nuchal cords—are common and usually harmless. A nuchal cord is found in about  one-third of births and, in most cases, does not cause any harm to the baby. When the cord is  unusually compressed, twisted, or positioned in a way that repeatedly cuts off oxygen, it may  contribute to a rare but tragic outcome. It’s important to recognize that while the cord can sometimes play a role in stillbirth, most cord findings are not dangerous, and using the term “cord accident” can sometimes oversimplify complex causes of fetal loss that are not yet well understood in the medical community.Resources Return to Zero HOPE: Partners’ Grief: A Unique Experience Blog Return to Zero HOPE: Resources for LGBTQ+ Families Companion Website: LGBTQ+ Reproductive Loss Words of Advice: LGBTQ+ Reproductive Loss Magazines/stories USA Based: Resources on pregnancy loss, stillbirth and infant loss for LGBTQ+ parents USA Based: Empty Arms Bereavement/LGBTQ Resources Sue Ryder: Supporting the LGBTQ+ community through grief and bereavementBooks Reproductive Losses: Challenges to LGBTQ Family-Making Podcasts River’s Story, Lesbian Parenting and Travelling with Grief with Jaimie-Lee Roy Academic articles Stories of Grief and Hope: Queer Experiences of Reproductive Loss Pregnancy Loss In Lesbian And Bisexual Women: An Online Survey Of Experiences Breaking the Silence: Infertility, Motherhood, and Queer Culture Videos Loss in the LGPTQ+ Community Trans and Gender Diverse Family Building for Providers

In this episode we hear from Andrew Lockhart, a father of six whose third child–his son Wilder– was stillborn in 2017. Andrew talks about how he supported his family while juggling work as he  grieved. We also hear from Brandon Drouillard, a pregnancy and infant loss educator who talks about how a father’s grief can be overlooked during stillbirth. Together, Andrew and Brandon give voice to the experiences dads have grieving their stillborn babies and supporting their families. Key Insights[10:33] “We were really lucky. We got, we had access to a CuddleCot TM. We were able to  spend some time with Wilder and really process the loss of him.” CuddleCotsTM provide continuous regulated cooling enabling families extended time to take  photos, create memories, welcome extended family, receive support and make arrangements  without feeling rushed. [20:38] “My name is Brandon Drouillard and I work for the Pregnancy and Infant Loss  Network as Education Coordinator and a pregnancy and infant loss educator”. The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Network (PAIL) is an Ontario, Canada-based provincial program  that provides free, peer-led support to families who have experienced pregnancy loss at any  stage or the death of a baby up to 12 months of age. Operating under Sunnybrook Health  Sciences Centre DAN Women and Babies Program, PAIL Network offers various support  services, including community-based and online peer support groups, to help grieving families  connect and heal.  Read more about Brandon Drouillard, PAIL Network Education Coordinator.[27:49] “There's not a lot of support out there, you know, for people who experience the loss of a child like this, like I can't even remember if Kim was able to get her maternity  benefits through EI at that point”.  Employment Insurance (EI) Maternity Benefits in Canada provide financial support for up to 15 weeks to eligible birth parents, including surrogates, who cannot work due to pregnancy and  childbirth.ResourcesPregnancy and Infant Loss Network Resource Library Article: A grief ignored: narratives of pregnancy loss from a male perspective Article: Men’s grief following pregnancy loss and neonatal loss: a systematic review and  emerging theoretical model Book: The Way Men Heal Book: Grieving Beyond Gender: Understanding Diverse Grieving Styles Book: Grieving Dads: To the Brink and Back Book: Loving Your Baby Magazine: Still standing: A father’s grief Website: Fatherly.com (search: “pregnancy loss”)

In this unique episode we hear from Jaime and Erin’s children and learn about their experiences of stillbirth as siblings. Marissa (19 years old), Gracie (17 years old) and Quinn (13 years old) speak their own truth about what it is like to grow up as living children in a household touched by stillbirth. We also hear from Andrea Warnick, registered psychotherapist, about how to support children as they process death and how to keep a stillborn baby present in family life.Show notes and resources[5:33] “And I was like, that was like, that doesn't look like a Playland wristband, that looks like a hospital wristband”Playland is Vancouver's oldest and most famous amusement park, located at the Pacific National Exhibition (PNE) fairgrounds. It offers a wide variety of rides, attractions, midway games, and food options.[7:17] “Yeah. When you guys all got home, your mom has also shared that there was some play therapy that she had you in. Do you remember going to play therapy?”Play therapy is an approach to therapy, primarily used with children, that uses the power of play to help process emotions, address social, emotional or behavioural difficulties and achieve optimal growth and development. It is particularly effective for younger children who may lack the verbal skills to express themselves directly, as play serves as their means of communication.[8:07] “The play therapy did teach me a thing called heartstrings, and when I felt like sad or just, I missed my mom, or I felt like I didn't have any control over my life, I would pull my heart strings, and my mom would pull her heart strings, and then we would be connected.”“Heartstrings” is a form of play therapy based on the popular book, The Invisible String. In the story, a mother tells her two children that everyone is connected by an invisible string made of love. "Even though you can't see it with your eyes, you can feel it deep in your heart". It is used as a tool for coping with all kinds of separation anxiety, as well as loss and grief, to help children understand they are always connected to the ones they love.[33:28] “There's this great quote that for kids, it's sort of like puddle jumping, you know, and they're in it, and it's huge, and then they jump out and they play and have fun.”Puddle jumping is a term created by Carla Mitchel to describe how children grieve. Children hop in and out of grieving just like they hop in and out of puddles. It can look like they do not grieve. They grieve a bit and then go on playing. Children do not have the capacity to hold that much pain all at once. Their nervous systems cannot handle the intensity of grief, so they go in and out of it.[33:37] “And then for adults, it's like they're in this leg just wading through this ocean of grief. I believe it's Julie Stokes from Winston's Wish, who said it that way, and I think she's right on.”Julie Stokes Winston's Wish Adults grieving can be described like canoeing in a river. They tend to stay in their emotions for longer periods. Their nervous systems can handle it. While adults can sit in grief for longer, they always come out of it too.[34:03] “I sometimes refer to our 2-3-4-year-olds as our most disenfranchised grievers that get quite quickly pushed to the sidelines, because sometimes people feel like, well, they're too young, so we don't even have the conversations with them.”Disenfranchised grief refers to grief which arises, but the loss is not socially recognized or supported. This can lead to feelings of isolation and unrecognized pain. Examples include grief following the death of a former spouse or grief for victims of a mass tragedy in which you did not know anyone personally but are deeply affected.

In this episode, Erin shares the story of her daughter, Ryann, who was stillborn in 2010 reflecting on the choices her family faced and the journey of bringing Ryann home from BC to Manitoba. Funeral director Nathan White joins the conversation to explain how funeral homes can support grieving families after stillbirth. Together, Erin, Jaime, and Nathan highlight the importance of memorializing babies who are stillborn and ensuring families receive the care and compassion they deserve.Episode Notes:[8:59] “We got a phone call to come in shortly after supper time to be induced”.Inducing labour means a healthcare provider uses medical methods (medications) to start contractions and begin labour before it starts naturally.[12:47] “So I did actually have a Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep photographer…”Since 2005, Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep has gifted families experiencing the loss of a baby volunteer photographers who conduct intimate portrait sessions to capture moments between the baby and family. The professional-level photographers are present in over 40 countries worldwide.[16:15] “So after Ryann was born, we had found out that she had died because of the cord wrapped around her neck four times. We pretty much had to be in the perfect situation of being in the hospital, the proper doctors around everything, and maybe nobody knows what would have happened. So, complete cord accident”.The term “cord accident” is often used when a baby dies before birth and the umbilical cord appears to be involved, but it’s important to understand that this is a non-specific and informal term, not a clear medical diagnosis. The phrase “cord accident” refers broadly to situations in which the cord’s function may have been compromised enough to affect the baby’s oxygen supply, possibly leading to stillbirth.Umbilical cord abnormalities, such as a tight cord around the neck (nuchal cord), true knots, or cord prolapse, can sometimes interfere with oxygen flow. However, many of these findings—especially nuchal cords—are common and usually harmless. A nuchal cord is found in about one-third of births and, in most cases, does not cause any harm to the baby. When the cord is unusually compressed, twisted, or positioned in a way that repeatedly cuts off oxygen, it may contribute to a rare but tragic outcome. It’s important to recognize that while the cord can sometimes play a role in stillbirth, most cord findings are not dangerous, and using the term “cord accident” can sometimes oversimplify complex causes of fetal loss that are not yet wellunderstood in the medical community.[16:32] “There were no CuddleCotsTM in the hospital at that time”.CuddleCotsTM provide continuous regulated cooling enabling families extended time to take photos, create memories, welcome extended family, receive support and make arrangements without feeling rushed. [18:44] “So I learned that Nathan had to get paperwork done up to transport a dead body between province to province to province to province…”Air transportation of human remainsTransporting human remains in CanadaGround transport of embalmed human remains in CanadaAfter a death: first steps after someone dies (British Columbia)[31:51] “Actually the year that we moved home, her next birthday was actually her champagne birthday”.A champagne birthday is the birthday when your age matches the day of the month you were born on, for example, Ryann’s champagne birthday was her 12th birthday on June 12.

This episode will begin and end with Jaime’s story about the stillbirths of her sons, James and Zachary. It’s the first time Jaime has told this story on the podcast, and it’s a conversation about love, loss, and the long, often quiet journey Jaime took to find her voice. In between Jaime’s story we will hear from Dr. Astrid Christofferson-Deb, an obstetrician-gynecologist at BC Women’s Hospital + Health Centre, who shares how care providers can support families through stillbirth by offering care, courage and strength. Together, Jaime and Dr. Astrid reflect on what it means to honour every child—no matter how long they were here.Episode Notes:[2:06] “She was born at 33 weeks, she was a NICU baby”Babies born at 33 weeks are premature and may require specialized care to help them transition to life outside the womb.a NICU - or Neonatal Intensive Care Unit - is a specialized hospital unit that provides care for premature or critically ill newborn infants. A NICU is equipped with advanced technology and staffed by a multidisciplinary team of experts to address various medical conditions that may arise in a premature infant. BC Women’s Hospital + Health Centre NICU[3:01] “...we had signs that there were difficulties in our pregnancy from the 12-week ultrasound and then the 18-week ultrasound and the next five weeks of MFM visits”Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) specialists are expert physicians that support high-risk pregnancies. MFM appointments are typically for pregnant people who have pre-existing medical conditions, develop complications during pregnancy, or whose babies have health issues. MFM specialists care may include diagnostic tests and treatment to support the well-being of both the birthing person and the baby. BC Women’s Hospital + Health Centre MFM[5:21] “...there appeared to be less amniotic fluid than was normal”.Amniotic fluid is the protective liquid that surrounds a developing baby in the uterus throughout the pregnancy. This fluid acts as a cushion, protecting the baby from injury and temperature changes while allowing for movement and the baby's growth and development. Amniotic fluid contains important nutrients and antibodies. Normal levels of amniotic fluid, measured by the Amniotic Fluid Index (AFI), typically range from 5-25cms. AFI measurements outside this range may indicate a problem. A low level of amniotic fluid means there is less than the expected amount of amniotic fluid surrounding the baby in the uterus. A low level of amniotic fluid can affect the baby's development and potentially lead to complications during labour and delivery.[7:20] “I think it’s called the antenatal unit"An antenatal unit is a specialized hospital area that provides care for pregnant people experiencing complications that require hospitalization before delivery. These units focus on monitoring and managing pregnancies to support the health of the birthing person and the baby.[9:38] “...I was followed by a high risk OBGYN”.A high-risk OBGYN, also known as a maternal-fetal medicine specialist (MFM) or perinatologist, is an obstetrician-gynecologist (OBGYN) who specializes in managing pregnancies that carry an increased risk for the birthing person, baby or both. These physicians have advanced training and expertise in addressing the unique challenges and potential complications associated with pregnancy.[19:15] “I also work at South Community Birth Program”The South Community Birth Program (SCBP) is a health clinic based in Vancouver, Canada, open to all pregnant people. The SCBP is staffed by a group of physicians, registered midwives, nurses and doulas. SCBP provides care during pregnancy, labour and birth, and six weeks postpartum.[19:31] “Recent research has shown that in high income countries, when they look at people who’ve had a first stillbirth, they actually are more likely in their next pregnancy to either have another stillbirth or to have a complication in pregnancy".

In this episode, we speak with Helen, whose daughter, AnaRose, was stillborn 17 years ago. We learn about how this experience shaped the way Helen navigates the world, how it transformed who she is, and how she sees herself now. We will also hear from Anya, a registered clinical counselor, to learn how grief impacts us overtime. Together, Helen and Anya share how stillbirth changes us forever.Your feedback is important to us. Please share your thoughts on this episode of Stillbirth Happens - let's talk by participating in this survey. Thank you for your participation.Episode Notes:Butterfly Run VancouverButterfly Run Vancouver perinatal loss support groupAnya Mostrenko – registered clinical counselor(mailto:anyamostrenkocounselling@gmail.com)Become a Butterfly Run race day volunteerBereavement box: a box used for storing mementos that may be personalized with the baby’s name, picture or some other design element. Bereavement boxes can provide a special place to keep memory aids. Contact your local hospital to speak with a social worker if you are interested in donating items for a bereavement box.“Grief is like the ocean”, quote by Vicky HarrisonCompound grief: also known as cumulative grief; occurs when several losses pile up over one another.Ambiguous loss: when a baby is stillborn, parents and family members may struggle for years to find out why the baby died, if answers even exist. Surviving siblings may grieve a baby who died before they were born. Society may dismiss stillbirth as an invisible death, yet the grief parents and families experience after a stillbirth can be lifelong.Mourning rituals: ways of honouring your child such as taking pictures, making molds of their hand and foot prints, and/or saving a lock of their hair.Continued bonds: connection that extends beyond the life of a loved one. Examples of continuing bonds include using your baby’s name in stories, keeping a journal about them, wearing jewellery, or visiting places that remind you of them.Self activism: the sense of empowerment that follows a loss as one seeks to change the world around them for the better. Some examples include raising awareness of, and reducing the stigma around stillbirth, advocating for improved care for the bereaved, and offering support toother bereaved parents.Complicated grief: ongoing, heightened state of mourning that keeps you from healing. Symptoms may include: intense sorrow, emotional pain, and rumination over the loss of your loved one.“You don’t know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice”, quote by Bob MarleyStillbirth Happens – let’s talk(http://www.bcwomens.ca/health-info/pregnancy-parenting/stillbirth-newborn-loss/podcast-stillbirth-happens)After the loss of your baby(http://www.bcwomens.ca/health-info/pregnancy-parenting/stillbirth-newborn-loss)GlossaryPlacental abruption: The placenta is a round organ that forms in the early part of pregnancy in the uterus. It supports the growth and well-being of the pregnancy in a number of ways through its connection to the developing baby through the umbilical cord. Placental abruption occurs in 1 in 100 people when the placenta separates from the wall of the uterus too early,before the baby is born.Hemorrhaging: The loss of a lot of blood in a short period of time. This can occur for various reasons during pregnancy and childbirth. Bleeding may happen internally (inside the body) or externally (outside the body). Hemorrhaging from placental abruption: Placental abruption may cause hemorrhaging. D&C: Dilation and curettage (D&C) is a procedure to remove tissue from inside the uterus through the cervix.Low iron levels from hemorrhaging: It is common to have low iron levels after a placental abruption with hemorrhaging. When this happens you may feel weak, short of breath or lightheaded.

The grief journey has no timeline and so, for bereaved parents, the first year can be especially tough, because it's full of missed milestones: first tooth, first steps, first birthday. In this episode, we chat with Emma Hansen about how she coped after her son, Reid, was stillborn. She reflects on how she managed the first year missing Reid, and how she and her family found meaningful ways to honour him. We discuss why it’s important to let yourself ‘sit in the shit of it’ and why even when you are grieving, you are still living.Your feedback is important to us. Please share your thoughts on this episode of Stillbirth Happens - let's talk by participating in this survey. Thank you for your participation.Notes:Blog: Born Still but Still Born by Emma HansenStill: A Memoir of Love, Loss and Motherhood by Emma HansenSecond Firsts by Christina RasmussenOn Death and Dying (1969) by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross; includes her framework of 5 stages of grief which include anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The 5 stages of grief and other lies that don’t help anyone by Megan DevineReid’s Reads by Emma Hansen, family and friendsDonating milk after stillbirth(http://www.bcwomens.ca/our-services/labour-birth-post-birth-care/milk-bank/donating-milk)Reid’s CornerGrief is love with no place to go, quote by Jamie Anderson On Being with Krista Tippett: Guest Rachel Naomi Remen “How we live with loss”. Original aired August 11th, 2005Stillbirth Happens – let’s talk(http://www.bcwomens.ca/health-info/pregnancy-parenting/stillbirth-newborn-loss/podcast-stillbirth-happens)After the loss of your baby (http://www.bcwomens.ca/health-info/pregnancy-parenting/stillbirth-newborn-loss)Lactation after loss (http://www.cw.bc.ca/library/pdf/pamphlets/BCW1465_LactationAfterLoss.pdf)Glossary:Cervidil® (dinoprostone) – a medication delivered through a vaginal insert that assists with labour by softening the cervix and preparing it for birth.

When it comes to stillbirth, bereaved parents often have questions. Sometimes, there are no good answers. This lack of clarity can give rise to powerful emotions, including confusion, anger, and guilt. Today we'll hear from Courtney Hiller. Courtney and her husband Jasyn made the difficult decision to terminate their pregnancy after their son Luca was diagnosed with multiple health conditions that were incompatible with life. Courtney shares how her questions evolved over the weeks and months after Luca's stillbirth. We’ll also hear from OB/GYN Megan O’Neill, whose own son, George, was stillborn at 33 weeks. Megan provides insight into how she helps families deal with questions that arise after stillbirth, and how she supports patients through the process of stillbirth and during pregnancies that follow loss. Courtney and Megan demonstrate how to use our voices to ask questions, find answers, and seek support from community and others with lived experience of stillbirth. Your feedback is important to us. Please share your thoughts on this episode of Stillbirth Happens - let's talk by participating in this survey. Thank you for your participation.Notes: Spina bifida myelomeningocele - https://www.canchild.ca/en/diagnoses/spina-bifidaChiari II malformation - https://neurosurgery.med.ubc.ca/programs/pediatric-neurosurgical-service/chiari-malformation-syringomyelia-program/Severe hydrocephalus - https://braininjurycanada.ca/en/caregiver/about-brain-injury/hydrocephalus/Folic acid and neural tube defects (like spina bifida) - https://www.spinabifidaassociation.org/resource/folic-acid/#:~:text=Folic%20acid%20is%20a%20B,can%20significantly%20reduce%20the%20riskMamas for Mamas - https://www.mamasformamas.org/T.F.M.R. Mamas - https://www.tfmrmamas.com/After the Loss of Your Baby - http://www.bcwomens.ca/health-info/pregnancy-parenting/stillbirth-newborn-lossStillbirth Happens: Podcast - http://www.bcwomens.ca/health-info/pregnancy-parenting/stillbirth-newborn-loss/podcast-stillbirth-happens

In this episode, we’ll hear from Erin Sowerby Greene, who learned, at 37 weeks pregnant, that her daughter Briar no longer had a heartbeat. We’ll also hear from Anne-Marie Cayer, a registered midwife supporting families living in urban and rural, remote, and Indigenous communities, about practices bereaved families should be able to access after a stillbirth. Erin and Anne-Marie teach us that although hospital procedures can vary from region to region, babies who are stillborn are still born and it’s possible – even necessary – to bring dignity and meaning to the experience.Your feedback is important to us. Please share your thoughts on this episode of Stillbirth Happens - let's talk by participating in this survey. Thank you for your participation.Episode notes:Book referred to: Alan D. Wolfelt.(2001). Healing Your Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas. Compassionate advice and simple activities to help you through your loss. Companion Press, CO. www.centerforloss.comAfter the Loss of Your Baby:http://www.bcwomens.ca/health-info/pregnancy-parenting/stillbirth-newborn-lossLactation After Loss:http://www.bcwomens.ca/health-info/pregnancy-parenting/stillbirth-newborn-lossInformal Milk Sharing:http://www.perinatalservicesbc.ca/about/news-stories/stories/informal-human-milk-sharingStillbirth Happens: Podcast:http://www.bcwomens.ca/health-info/pregnancy-parenting/stillbirth-newborn-loss/podcast-stillbirth-happensNonstress test (NST) is a screening test used in pregnancy to assess the baby’s heartbeat patterns. It can show heart rate changes when the baby moves and may show changes when the uterus contracts, such as happens during labour.CuddleCots are small, portable, lightweight units that enable families experiencing the loss of their baby at any age or gestation to spend more time together. The unit is connected to a hose and mat. The baby is placed on top of the mat which ensures that the baby remains cool. A CuddleCot was not available to Erin and Cameron after Briar was born which limited the amount of time they could spend with her. As a result of their experience, Erin and Cameron started a fundraising campaign to purchase Cuddlecots for local communities in Briar’s memory and to give other families the gift of more time with their babies. Read more about their CuddleCot fundraiser here.

This episode is all about breaking the silence to recognize that stillbirth is part of the maternity journey. We speak with Jennifer Kuznetsov whose first baby, Andrey, died unexpectedly at 29 weeks gestation. Jennifer talks about the shock and disbelief she felt after learning Andrey had no heartbeat, and how she wishes she had been better prepared for such a traumatic event. We'll also hear from Kirsten Duckitt, a retired OB/GYN, about why there's still so much silence surrounding stillbirth. Stillbirth happens more frequently than people think.Your feedback is important to us. Please share your thoughts on this episode of Stillbirth Happens - let's talk by participating in this survey. Thank you for your participation.After the loss of your babyCW Library - Lactation after LossDry Creek Mountain View Cemetery Infant Graves AreaTranscriptQuote by Earl A. Grollman – “Grief is love’s unwillingness to let go”

Many people struggle to talk about stillbirth. Friends and family members may feel awkward discussing it. Some clinicians shy away from it. Bereaved parents may be left feeling isolated and alone. Co-hosts Jaime and Erin – mothers whose babies were stillborn – talk truth about stillbirth. Together with guests, they explore topics such as the nature of grief and loss, the hospital experience of stillbirth, and navigating life after stillbirth – all in a welcoming and safe audio space. Through stories of lived experiences, Stillbirth Happens – let’s talk hopes to normalize the conversation about stillbirth and give those touched by it a place to learn, grieve and feel connected.