Pure Desire Podcast

In today’s episode, we confront one of the most deceptive assumptions in the recovery world: the belief that sexual addiction is “just about sex.” With guest Robert Vander Meer, we unpack how this false narrative minimizes the emotional, relational, and neurological drivers beneath the behavior, making relapse far more likely because the real wounds go unaddressed. We identify common signs of this mindset—statements like “I just need more willpower” or “at least I’ve never crossed physical lines”—and explore how even those engaging only with pornography, fantasy, or lust can still be caught in the same trap. We also offer guidance for spouses and group members who recognize this belief in others and want to speak truth without shaming, rescuing, or lecturing. Together, we name why sexual addiction is fundamentally about pain, attachment, coping, and disconnection—not merely sexual acts. Finally, we discuss subtle ways this belief can linger even in long-term sobriety and how to continue growing in honesty, humility, and emotional freedom. Resources: Roberts Endowment Fund Compassionate Warrior GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, Harry Flanagan joins us to unpack a subtle but critical danger in the recovery process: pursuing healing with less passion than we once pursued addiction. He explains how this mindset can quietly fuel relapse patterns, create emotional complacency, and leave individuals feeling stuck even while “doing the right things.” Harry also addresses why some people struggle to engage fully in recovery and what they might be missing when transformation begins to feel routine instead of urgent. We discuss the FASTER Scale and how overconfidence—one of the earliest signs of slipping—can disguise itself as stability while actually signaling vulnerability. Harry offers practical steps for rekindling commitment when motivation fades, and guidance for spouses who fear their partner isn’t taking recovery seriously. We’ll also explore how to support group members without slipping into fixing or rescuing, and the key behaviors to look for when someone is genuinely invested in long-term healing. He closes with encouraging, grounded advice for anyone feeling their passion for recovery growing dim.Resources:Roberts Endowment Fund GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In today’s episode, Laurie Krieg shares her expertise on guiding children through some of today’s toughest conversations around sexuality, gender, and God’s design for relationships. From knowing the right time to talk to kids about sex, singleness, and marriage, to navigating confusing cultural messages—including rainbow flags, gender transitions in family, and the realities of pornography and trafficking—Laurie offers practical, age-appropriate guidance rooted in the Gospel. She helps parents understand why starting these conversations with God’s truth is essential and how to respond when kids ask difficult questions. Laurie also previews her upcoming book, providing a roadmap for parents seeking to equip their children to navigate today’s world safely, confidently, and with a biblical foundation. This episode is a must-listen for parents, caregivers, and anyone invested in raising children with wisdom and grace.Resources:Laurie & Matt's Video Series Pick Up Laurie's New Book Now! GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, Rodney and Traci Wright dive into the delicate and vital topic of parenting while walking a recovery journey. Drawing from their book How to Talk with Your Kids About Sex, they explore why honesty, timing, and boundaries are essential when navigating recovery with children at home. From common mistakes parents make to practical guidance on age-appropriate disclosure, they provide insights for protecting children from the emotional rollercoaster while fostering understanding and trust. They also address how sharing recovery experiences with adult children can support both personal healing and family transformation. Filled with practical “dos,” encouragement, and real-life wisdom, this episode equips parents to walk the line between authenticity and protection, helping children grow up healthy, informed, and part of a recovery story rooted in hope and grace.Resources:Get Your Copy of Rodney & Traci's Book! GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, John Fort returns to share insights from his book Father-Son Accountability: Integrity Through Relationships, a practical guide designed to help dads engage openly and confidently with their sons about sex, boundaries, and character. He explains why these conversations are often difficult for Christian parents, the common hesitations dads face, and the positive transformations he’s seen when fathers step into this important role. John highlights what’s new in the second edition and offers encouragement for dads of pre-teens, teens, and even adult sons, showing that it’s never too late to start. Filled with practical tips, real-life stories, and wisdom from years of ministry, this episode equips fathers—and the families around them—to build trust, accountability, and a legacy of integrity through honest, faith-filled conversations.Resources:Get John's Book!Listen To John's Previous Episode GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, we’re joined by Ashley Jameson, the author of a powerful new book designed to help moms and daughters navigate one of the most important—and often most uncomfortable—topics: sex and healthy conversations about it. She shares what inspired her to write Girl Talk, how the book is structured, and what moms and daughters can expect as they walk through it together. We’ll explore practical ways to move past awkwardness, create a safe and judgment-free space, and adapt conversations to different personalities and comfort levels. Ashley also tackles the biggest barriers parents face when addressing sexuality and offers hope for breaking cycles of shame. Through her own story and insights, she reminds families that lasting growth happens when we focus on relationships over rules and keep open, honest communication going long after the book is finished.Resources:Get Your Copy of 'Girl Talk' Now! GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, Josh Andrew explores how the start of a New Year can be a fresh opportunity for growth and focus in recovery. Moving beyond avoidance-based strategies, he introduces the Three Circles tool, emphasizing the importance of the outer circle—practices and behaviors that support a healthy, fulfilling life while reducing the risk of acting out.Josh explains how self-care, understanding your God-given identity, and thoughtfully designing your outer circle can strengthen recovery and make it sustainable. He also addresses common mistakes, shares practical ways to involve supportive people, and highlights how clear communication can foster accountability.Whether you’re new to recovery or looking to deepen your progress, this episode provides actionable insights and encouragement for building a holistic plan that promotes freedom, purpose, and lasting transformation.Resources:The 3 Circles Tool All Our Tools GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this insightful episode, Stuart Blade unpacks the power of the Commitment to Change—a practical tool designed to help individuals and couples experience real transformation in their recovery and spiritual growth. He explains what a Commitment to Change is, who it’s for, and how it can move people from good intentions to lasting change. Drawing from years of experience leading and supervising groups, Stuart shares common mistakes people make when setting commitments and the key habits that help them find traction. He also offers encouragement for those who feel stuck, showing how this weekly rhythm can support larger life goals. Whether you’re starting the new year with renewed motivation or looking to deepen your recovery journey, this episode will help you make meaningful, sustainable progress—one intentional step at a time.Resources:Download The Commitment To Change GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this heartfelt episode, Rodney and Traci Wright share their powerful story of finding healing—both individually and as a couple. Long before discovering Pure Desire, their recovery journey began with a deep recognition of their need for help and God’s grace to rebuild what was broken. They open up about the early steps they took to survive as a couple, the community that supported them, and how joining a Pure Desire group years later helped them experience a new depth of healing and connection. Together, they reveal the truths and tools that have sustained their marriage and shaped their ongoing recovery. Through honesty, accountability, and faith, Rodney and Traci now walk in freedom and are helping others do the same. Their story offers hope for any couple longing to experience the redemptive power of God’s healing love.Resources:Year End Giving:Rodney & Traci's Book GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this inspiring episode, we hear the powerful story of Brian Wolf’s journey toward healing and recovery. From the moment he realized he needed help to discovering the life-changing community of a Pure Desire group, this conversation explores how God meets us in our brokenness and leads us toward freedom. Through honest reflection and personal experience, Brian shares the pivotal moments when healing began to take root—through connection, accountability, and the support of others walking the same path. You’ll hear the truths and tools that helped him move from pain to purpose, and how he’s now paying forward the gift of recovery to others. Whether you’re early in your journey or seeking encouragement to keep going, this episode offers hope and direction for anyone desiring lasting transformation through Christ-centered community.Resources:Year End GivingBrian's Turning Point Podcast GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this powerful episode, we sit down with a courageous couple, Adam and Becky Bradley, who share their honest and inspiring story of healing through the Pure Desire recovery process. From the moment they realized their need for help to the transformative experience of being in a Pure Desire group, they walk us through the highs, lows, and breakthroughs that marked their path.They reflect on the early days of struggle, the deep impact of community and accountability, and the life-changing shift that came when they truly began to receive the healing God had for them—both individually and as a couple. You'll hear how vital tools, timeless truths, and consistent support played a role in sustaining their recovery and how they are now offering that same gift to others.If you're longing for hope, wondering if real healing is possible, or looking for encouragement to take the next step, this episode is for you.Resources:Year End GivingAll Of Our ResourcesAll Our ToolsJoin A Group! GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this powerful episode, we sit down with Randy and Leslie Bixby, the founders of The Family Reformation Project, to explore how their personal healing journey as a couple became a transformative mission to restore families everywhere. They share how pain became purpose, leading to a movement rooted in the belief that "family is God’s original government." Through their story, listeners will discover how healing—though deeply personal—can become a generational gift, restoring identity, order, and legacy. We dive into the six life-giving protocols they’ve created to help families align with God’s design, offering hope and structure for those who feel lost or broken. If you've ever believed your story is too damaged to be redeemed, this episode is for you.Resources:Year End GivingThe Bixby's WebsiteThe Bixby's Podcast on SpotifyThe Bixby's Podcast on Apple GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this powerful episode, we sit down with Josh and Avonlea Roy who vulnerably shares their journey of healing after infidelity and betrayal. From the pain of discovery to finding hope through the Pure Desire podcast in 2023, they recount the insights that helped them take their first steps toward restoration. Transitioning into group work with Betrayal & Beyond and Seven Pillars of Freedom, they discuss how these experiences deepened their healing and reshaped their faith. With honesty and encouragement, they reflect on pivotal moments that helped them rebuild trust, reconnect emotionally, and rediscover joy in their marriage. They also share how Pure Desire counseling and the Summit events provided breakthrough guidance along the way. Now hosts of their own show, Love After Lies, they offer wisdom, encouragement, and a message of hope to couples wondering if healing is possible. This episode is a reminder: love after betrayal is not only possible—it’s worth fighting for.Resources:Year End GivingJoin A Group!FREE Counseling ConsultationAll Our ToolsLove After Lies PodcastThe Toxic War on MasculinityAuthentic Intimacy (Juli Slattery) GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Juli Slattery, who has spent 15 years helping Christians navigate the complex terrain of sexuality in light of faith. We explore why so many struggle to surrender their sexuality to God and why the traditional church approach often falls short in addressing the real-life challenges people face today. Juli dives into how unresolved sexual issues can create barriers in our relationship with God and explains why identity—rather than behavior—is the key starting point for true transformation. She uncovers four common identity traps—self-discovery, shame, performance, and relationship—that can derail spiritual and sexual growth. Juli also challenges us to rethink the purpose of sexuality, offering practical insight on why simply stopping sexual sin is not enough and how surrendering sexual brokenness leads to lasting freedom. Resources:Order Juli's NEW BOOKJuli's PodcastJuli's Website GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this eye-opening episode, we sit down with Tabitha Westbrook, an advocate and expert passionate about helping individuals recognize and address abuse within marriage. Tabitha unpacks the often-misunderstood signs of abuse—both obvious and subtle—and challenges the dangerous belief that “it’s not abuse unless it’s physical.” She sheds light on how emotional, verbal, and spiritual abuse can deeply impact relationships, and how these patterns often overlap with addiction, including sexual addiction.We also explore the complex dynamics that arise when both abuse and addiction are present and how the church and recovery communities can respond with wisdom, compassion, and safety. Whether you're a group leader, a recovery partner, or someone walking through a difficult marriage, this conversation offers clarity, courage, and hope. If you or someone you know may be in an unsafe relationship, this episode is a vital listen. You are not alone—and there is a path forward.Resources:Tabitha's WebsiteClinical PracticeTabitha's BookCall To Peace Ministries GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this deeply moving episode, we sit down with Teresa Whiting, the author of the book Graced, to explore the powerful, often overlooked stories of women in Scripture—like Tamar and Bathsheba—whose experiences of brokenness and redemption reveal the heart of God in profound ways. She shares the personal and spiritual journey that led her to write a book she never intended to, and how God gently transformed her resistance into a calling. As she studied these women’s stories, Teresa discovered surprising truths about God’s tenderness, justice, and deep care for the hurting. Together, we unpack how Scripture speaks directly to those who feel too broken or too far gone, offering a message of grace, truth, and restoration. For anyone wrestling with shame or still in the thick of healing, this conversation offers hope and permission to begin stewarding their story. God doesn't discard the wounded—He draws near, redeems, and uses their stories for His glory.Resources:Teresa's Podcast (Renamed)Teresa's Website GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this compelling episode, we sit down with Dr. Jill Manning, a leading expert in betrayal trauma whose groundbreaking research has brought critical awareness to the emotional toll of pornography use within intimate relationships. She shares her journey into this deeply personal and often misunderstood field, shedding light on the unique dynamics of betrayal trauma and its profound impact on partners and marriages. We’ll discuss valuable insights into the most important findings from her work, common misconceptions that hinder healing, and the often-overlooked emotional responses betrayed partners experience. We explore therapeutic separation, cycles of distrust, and practical steps for fostering healing—both individually and as a couple. Whether you're a clinician, spiritual leader, or someone walking the path of recovery, this episode offers both clarity and compassion. Join us for a powerful conversation that aims to restore hope, support deeper understanding, and encourage lasting healing after betrayal.Resources:Dr. Jill's Website GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this essential episode, we dive into a candid conversation about the role of pastors and church leaders in responding to sexual addiction and betrayal trauma within their communities. Many leaders feel illequipped—or even fearful—of “getting it wrong” when someone discloses their pain. Our guest, Dr. Barbara Steffens, offers practical wisdom on how pastors can take meaningful first steps, create shame-free environments, and offer spiritual care without needing to be counselors or experts. We explore common missteps leaders make, how to respond with grace when harmful advice is being given, and what it means to walk in both truth and compassion. For those seeking to make their churches proactive rather than reactive, this conversation casts a vision for what safe, healing spaces can look like—where both individuals and couples impacted by sexual brokenness can find support, truth, and lasting hope. Whether you're a pastor, ministry leader, or a concerned member of your church, this episode is packed with clarity, encouragement, and next steps. Resources:APSATS WebsiteDr. Steffens' Website GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, we sit down with Pastor Ken Krueger to explore what it truly means to cultivate a culture of grace within the church. Pastor Ken shares his personal journey, the heart behind his ministry, and what inspired him to lead his congregation toward greater authenticity and healing. Together, we talk about the challenges of shifting from performance-driven or shame-based models to a grace-filled approach that emphasizes wholeness. He reflects on the role of Pure Desire groups in fostering deeper community, the practical rhythms his church has implemented to support both leaders and members, and powerful stories of transformation that reveal the impact of grace in action. With wisdom, honesty, and hope, this episode offers encouragement and advice to church leaders seeking to nurture authenticity in their own communities.Resources:Check Out Pastor Ken's ChurchYouth Leader LibraryPD Church MembershipPDL GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this honest and compassionate conversation, we explore the hidden struggles pastors often face—and why many suffer in silence. Our guest, Cal Rychener, unpacks the key barriers that keep church leaders from seeking help, including fear, shame, and unrealistic expectations. We look at the dangerous impact unaddressed struggles can have on both the pastor and the church, and the steps leadership can take to build a culture of proactive care and support. Through real-life stories of pastors who finally reached out, we see the power of grace, community, and trusted resources—like those from Pure Desire—to bring healing and restoration. This episode also casts a hopeful vision for what a truly healthy church looks like: one that cares well for its leaders. If you’re a pastor, church staff member, or simply someone who wants to support your leaders better, this conversation offers both challenge and encouragement.Resources:Deeper Walk InternationalBoulder RecoveryBethesda Workshops GET STARTEDFree eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal TraumaFree eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From PornSchedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling ConsultationJoin A Pure Desire Online Group SOCIALSFollow us on FacebookFollow us on InstagramFollow us on X (Twitter) Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.