The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living

We just got back from Arizona. Another parents' weekend, another hike into the Grand Canyon. That trip sent us straight back to Episode 9, so we're bringing it back as a Greatest Hits episode.We recorded it in our first few months as empty nesters, a mile and a half down the trail, not even sure the mics were on. If you can, turn on the video.It was Tanner's last parents' weekend at ASU, and we said yes to everything he wanted to do. Then on to Tucson and Teagan, six weeks into college. This time she had every answer and led us all over campus.What's in this episode:Empty trails on a Monday in SeptemberTanner's final parents' weekend, and thirty-two-ounce buckets at CasaA Sunday with no flight to catchSaguaro National Park outside TucsonTeagan back at the restaurant from drop-off, talking nonstopAll four of us at dinner together, in Arizona📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.comIf your kid has started giving you the campus tour instead of the other way around, come tell us about it in the group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.comCHAPTERS0:00 Back from Arizona, back to this one1:02 A mile and a half down the Grand Canyon trail3:21 Tanner's last parents' weekend at ASU5:25 Thirty-two-ounce buckets at Casa8:09 A Sunday with no flight home11:48 Saguaro National Park outside Tucson13:40 Working East Coast hours from Scottsdale19:01 Back to the restaurant from drop-off20:43 Teagan leads the campus tour22:40 The last child and what's next26:22 All four of us at dinner29:03 Parents' weekend on the U of Arizona quadWant to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethostDisclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

Rick gave Clancy a trip to Los Angeles for Christmas, and we finally took it in September.This is our first trip as just the two of us since Mexico last year. The whole thing was built around one concert. The biggest highlight came from a tour Clancy found the Tuesday before we left, after our original plan fell through. That tour got us into hidden places on the Sunset Strip and the stories behind them, the kind you'd walk right past on your own.We also get into where we stayed, where we ate, and where to sit (and not sit) at the Hollywood Palladium. If you're thinking about a trip for two, especially one that doesn't have to wait for a school break, this is our list.What's in this episode:Our first book club, and the discussion guide we built for book clubsWhy our gifts have shifted toward experiencesThe Sunset Strip rock and roll tour that became the highlight of the tripA rare book store with a signed Jaws screenplayLA's mocktail menus and a cocktail inspired by Dean MartinGriffith Park, the Hollywood sign, and a wander up Rodeo DriveDinner six tables deep in a chef's own kitchenSanta Monica to Venice on foot, and brunchPeter Hook at the Hollywood PalladiumSkip the rental car and fly out of BurbankPlaces and experiences mentioned in the episode:Rock and Walk Tours https://rocknwalktours.com/Jeff Lewis Live show https://www.siriusxm.com/channels/the-jeff-lewis-channelBookSoup https://booksoup.com/Rare book store https://www.mysterypierbooks.com/Montrose at Beverly Hills https://www.montrosewesthollywood.com/WeHo Bistro https://www.wehobistro.com/Bar Next Door https://www.barnextdoor.com/Da Barbara https://barbarapollastrini.com/Met Her At A Bar https://www.metheratabar.com/Katana LA https://www.katanarobata.com/Book Club Guide (in FAQs) https://theloudquiet.com/book/📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.comGot your own LA favorites, or questions about ours? Share them with us in the Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.comCHAPTERS00:00 Thank you to our first book club01:30 A Christmas gift and couples trip04:15 The Sunset Strip rock and roll tour10:48 Rare books and a signed Jaws screenplay14:56 LA's mocktail menus and Bar Next Door17:21 Griffith Park hike and Beverly Hills20:56 Dinner in Da Barbara's home kitchen25:03 Santa Monica, Venice and brunch27:39 Peter Hook at the Hollywood Palladium32:37 Uber, Burbank and traveling in SeptemberWant to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethostDisclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

John Infortunio writes about his father's Alzheimer's, and he chose fiction over memoir to do it. On this episode, he tells us why a character can hold what a memoir can't.John is a lifelong educator, a native Brooklynite, and the author of two novels drawn from his own life. We get into how he balances that authenticity with fiction, what actually happens in his editing process, and how growing up in a tight-knit Brooklyn neighborhood shaped the way he writes.He also talks about caretaking for his aging parents while raising his son, and what it took to stop comparing his son's twenties to his own.What's in this episode:Why John chose fiction over memoir for his father's Alzheimer'sHow he balances personal authenticity with writing fictionHis editing process, what gets cut and what gets built upGrowing up in a community-rich Brooklyn neighborhoodCaretaking for his parents while raising his son and building a careerLetting go of comparing his son's twenties to his ownWatching his son grow into his own political and social viewsYou can find John's books, Destroyed by the Events of the Day and Today Was Tomorrow, on Amazon https://link.amazon/B0dthUWCe (Amazon affiliate link), barnesandnoble.com, and Walmart.com. Follow him on Instagram @johninfortunio.📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.comDistance, protection, and letting go show up in different ways in this one. Join the conversation in our Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.comCHAPTERS00:00 Why fiction, not memoir, for his father's Alzheimer's02:58 Hiding behind characters for emotional protection04:02 Balancing authenticity while still writing fiction04:21 Editing as the real filter for truth06:12 Trusting instinct instead of staying guarded08:23 How teaching shaped his approach to writing10:44 Growing up in a tight-knit Brooklyn community14:57 Caretaking for aging parents while raising his son22:06 Letting go of comparing his son's twenties to his own25:19 Watching his son grow into social and political awareness28:22 Healthy disagreement and pushback with grown kidsWant to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethostDisclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s)

This is the second half of their relationship check in, questions Rick and Clancy come back to when it's been too long since the last one. They continue with the 5 love languages conversation, their lowest-ranked ones this time, and move into bigger questions about what the next five to ten years look like.It's easy to assume things are fine because nothing's actively wrong. A check-in surfaces what's actually going on underneath that, the parts that don't come up on their own until someone asks directly.What's in this episode:The different types of physical touch, and why "bedroom touch" isn't the whole pictureRick's lowest love language, receiving gifts, and why he doesn't reach for it naturallyAn old flowers misunderstanding that lasted a lot longer than it should haveTravel, work, retirement, and where they might live nextA timing gap in a relocation decision that came up mid-conversationThe check-in questions from this two-part series:1. Are we still on the same page about how we want to spend our time, such as more togetherness or more independence?2. What's one thing about our day to day life together that's working really well right now? And what's one thing that you would change?3. Do we still talk about things other than logistics, the house, the finances, the kids? When is the last time that we've had a conversation that wasn't about a task?4. What's one way you feel loved right now and one way you wish you felt more loved?5. What does the next five to ten years look like for us? Travel, work, retirement, relocating.6. What does staying connected to our now grown kids look like? And are we on the same page around boundaries and involvement?📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.comIf this episode has you thinking about your own check-in questions, our Facebook group is a good place to talk through them with other empty nesters. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.comCHAPTERS00:00 Five Love Languages Recap03:30 Different Types of Touch Explained06:00 Clancy's Highest: Comforting Touch07:06 Rick's Lowest: Receiving Gifts09:30 The Flowers Misunderstanding13:30 Looking Toward The Next Decade15:43 Relocating Versus Staying Near Kids20:36 The Timing They Hadn't Discussed21:41 Why The Check-In MattersWant to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch:https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethostDisclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

What does a relationship check-in look like in the empty nest? This episode, Rick and Clancy go through their actual check-in questions. Unrehearsed. Real reactions.They cover togetherness versus independence, what's working day to day and what they'd change, and whether they still talk about anything besides logistics and the kids. Then they get into the five love languages, comparing results and where they overlap and where they don't. Part two picks up with their lowest-ranked love languages and what the next five to ten years might look like.Want to run these check-in questions with your own partner? Here they are:1. Are we still on the same page about how we want to spend our time, such as more togetherness or more independence?2. What's one thing about our day to day life together that's working really well right now? And what's one thing that you would change?3. Do we still talk about things other than logistics, the house, the finances, the kids? When is the last time that we've had a conversation that wasn't about a task?4. What's one way you feel loved right now and one way you wish you felt more loved?5. What does the next five to ten years look like for us? Travel, work, retirement, relocating.6. What does staying connected to our now grown kids look like? And are we on the same page around boundaries and involvement?Want to find your own love language? Take the quiz here: https://5lovelanguages.com/Our book, The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest, is available now. https://www.theloudquiet.comJoin our Facebook group for empty nesters and tell us how your own check-in goes. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.comCHAPTERS00:00 Why relationship check-ins fade over time02:15 Pre-crisis intervention vs annual check-in03:29 Question 1: togetherness or independence10:19 Question 2: what's working, what they'd change14:27 Question 3: conversations beyond logistics19:37 Question 4: how they feel loved, beginning 5 love languages20:56 Clancy's top love language: acts of service24:08 Rick's top love language: words of affirmation26:18 Quality time, dreaming, and shared goals Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethostDisclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).