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Escape the Paradox

Author: Helena Hickman

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Covering: Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma | PTSD | C-PTSD | Trauma Recovery | Emotional and Psychological Abuse


Welcome to Escape the Paradox, where I expose the hidden reality of coercive control and domestic violence including psychological, emotional and physical abuse. 


I’m Helena, a survivor of childhood abuse. I'm a mental health nursing student and advocate, here to support you in breaking free from the confusion, fear, and isolation that abuse creates. 


Home should be the safest place, but for many, it becomes the most dangerous. 


In each episode, I share my personal story and dive into my own experiences, as well as survivor experiences, trauma-informed insights, and expert research to help you understand the mechanisms of abuse and begin your healing journey.


We’ll explore tactics such as gaslighting, and how abusers wield and seek power and control, not to diagnose, but because naming abuse is the first step in reclaiming your reality. 


If you're ready to reconnect with your truth and rebuild your self-worth through clarity and understanding, you’re in the right place. 


Follow Escape the Paradox on Threads, Instagram, and TikTok: @escapetheparadox. 

17 Episodes
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Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma I think you are worth the effort of healing. In this (long) episode, I examine the diagnostic criteria of Borderline Personality Disorder, focusing on how the diagnosis is disproportionately applied to women and deeply intertwined with histories of trauma. It explores how trauma responses are often pathologized, the gendered assumptions embedded in diagnos...
Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma This bonus episode shares a poem I wrote on self-worth, confronting reality, and the work of restoring the mind from broken parts. Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to exposing and exploring the truth about coercive control, emotional abuse, and the long-term trauma caused by abusive relationships. Whether it's childhood abuse from a par...
Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma I think you are worth the effort of healing. Worthlessness speaks in absolutes, but that doesn’t make it true. In this episode, I explore what happens when you stop taking the voice at face value and begin challenging the thoughts that try to define you. This episode isn’t about strategies to overcome negative thoughts. It’s about acknowledging...
Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma Finding the right therapist or counsellor can feel overwhelming, especially after experiencing abuse or trauma (or maybe while you're still experiencing it). In this episode, I share practical tips for choosing a professional who truly understands coercive control and can support your healing journey. Welcome to Escape the Paradox, a podcast dedicated to ...
Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma When you leave an abusive relationship, especially one marked by coercive control, it’s not uncommon for the abuser to launch a smear campaign. This is a deliberate attempt to discredit you, isolate you, and control the narrative after you’ve left. In this episode, I break down what a smear campaign is, the red flags to watch for, and how you can protect your p...
Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma "I feel guilty" If you’ve escaped coercive control or domestic violence, you’re probably no stranger to guilt. Feeling responsible for the pain your abuser claims to suffer after you leave is common. In this episode, I explore what guilt is, why it's not always trustworthy, and how guilt can also be used by abusers to manipulate. Your safety and hea...
Send us a text In this episode, I am joined by Kalesha, who bravely shares her personal story of surviving domestic abuse, and the current healing journey she is on. Together, we explore how children are often used as tools of manipulation and control in abusive relationships, which is a heartbreaking but critical aspect of coercive control that’s not discussed often enough. The interview is an open and honest conversation, and we hope you enjoy listening in! Kalesha's Threads handle is...
Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma In this episode, I’m talking about how male privilege is used as a tool for control in abusive relationships. This isn’t just about physical violence. I focus on the subtle, everyday ways power and entitlement show up and are reflected hugely in overrepresentation of males in society, as well as the difficulties in approaching these institutions that are suppos...
Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma In this episode, I continue analyzing past correspondence between myself and the abuser, focusing on the tactics of minimizing, denying, and blaming. I break down how these strategies are used to distort reality, shift responsibility, and keep targets trapped in cycles of self-doubt and confusion. By examining these patterns, I aim to bring clarity to the emoti...
Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma In this episode, I explore a message I wrote to my father in 2023, and take you through his response with me. It’s a raw and honest conversation that highlights the tactics of minimizing, denying, and blaming, which are patterns that are reflected in the power and control wheel. These dynamics are deeply familiar to many who have lived through coercive control ...
Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma Isolation is one of the most powerful tools of coercive control, and it goes far beyond just cutting someone off from friends and family. In this episode, we explore how abusers use suspicion, false accusations, and emotional manipulation to make their targets feel trapped and alone—even in everyday interactions. Through Maxine’s story, we see how isolation o...
Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma Emotional abuse doesn’t just wound in the moment—it rewires the way we see ourselves. Over time, the insults, gaslighting, and manipulation become our own inner voice, eroding self-trust and self-worth. In Part 2, let's dive into how abuse shapes our internal narrative and what it takes to reclaim our sense of self. Most importantly, I want to remind y...
Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma Emotional abuse leaves no visible scars, but its impact runs deep. In this episode of Escape the Paradox, I talk about how emotional abuse erodes self-worth, distorts reality, and keeps targets trapped in cycles of self-doubt. I’ll share how it manifests in both subtle and overt ways, why it’s so difficult to recognize, and how the words and tactics us...
Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma In this episode, I delve into the element of intimidation in abusive relationships and how it oppresses the target, making escape incredibly challenging. I also share my personal experience with the very real tactics abusers use to discredit their targets, adding even more layers of difficulty to leaving. Sources Please see this study regarding PTSD, and ...
Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma In this episode of Escape the Paradox, let's delve into the "Coercion and Threats" section of the Power and Control Wheel. Learn how abusers use coercive tactics to instill fear and maintain control over their targets. Learn to recognize these behaviors, and understand their impact. Whether you're seeking clarity or supporting someone you care about, this ep...
Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma In this very first episode of Escape the Paradox, I explore a common misconception: the idea that labeling an abuser—whether as a narcissist, psychopath, or anything else—somehow explains, or excuses, their behavior. Abuse isn’t about a diagnosis; it’s about actions. We dive into why focusing on labels can shift the conversation away from what really ma...
Send us a text Coercive Control | Domestic Violence | Childhood Trauma | Childhood Abuse | Healing after Abuse | Healing after Trauma This podcast discusses sensitive topics, including coercive control and the emotional impact of abuse. In this introduction, I share why I believe it’s so important to learn how to verbalize the impact coercive control has. By sharing my truth, I hope to help others do the same. I’m claiming my narrative, and healing alongside you. By sharing my own story, I...
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