Claim OwnershipThe Memoirs of Finally Abrams
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© 2025 The Memoirs of Finally Abrams
Description
Handyman extraordinaire, Finally Abrams is an aspiring novelist waiting for his big break - though his stories are too crass and smutty for any respectable publisher.
Finally details his misadventures with conversations he has with his peers. You'll meet his calloused, stone-hearted father, the retired psychological essayist, Phaseolus Beanscreen Abrams, and Finally's love interest Geraldine, a surly, chain-smoking hardware store clerk. Finally often comes toe-to-toe with his competitor, the successful published author (and old acquaintance), Carlene Shoerack.
Besides the main cast, Finally meets a slew of interesting locals in his fictional home of Porkborough, West Bonkshire in Northern England.
18+, discretion is advised.
Written, Performed, & Produced by Jedidiah Hughes.
14 Episodes
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Welcome to Porkborough, West Bonkshire. And introducing... Finally Abrams, handyman by day, [unpublished] sexual renegade gentleman writer by night! In today's excerpt from his diary, Finally has another rejection from a publishing house and tries to balance the sadness it brings while having to fix up the Rovers' skirting boards. We also meet Phaseolus (his potty-mouthed father) who is no respite, Geraldine (his surly love interest) who is a bit of respite, and Carlene (the subject of...
Finally decides to dedicate his next novella to his mother, who passed away during childbirth. Unfortunately, just as he gets going with it, he's hit with writer's block. Now, he must turn to his closest allies to get him out of his creative rut! Also, we get to hear the epilogue from Finally’s murder mystery novella, Solomon Catscratch & The Visitor Centre Phantom.
Angry at Carlene Shoerack's latest hit medieval romance novel, Finally Abrams decides to write a historical fiction of his own to rival. So, Finally takes his dad, Phaseolus, and love interest, Geraldine, on a research-oriented historical road trip to Pickering Castle, but not everything goes to plan! We get a flavour of Finally’s newest book, A Naughty North Sea Morning.
Finally is presented with an amazing but tricky situation: He's hired to do the decking of a renowned publisher - maybe he can finally catch a big break, or maybe he'll look like a pillock when he tries to pitch his story to a client. Also, we get an excerpt from Finally's latest Gothic vampire horror, Sweat and Blood.
After another publishing rejection, Finally consults with a local anarchist to see if he can put his latest sci-fi story in their weekly zine to gain exposure. We also get a sample from the sci-fi epic, Invasion of the Gorblanxians.
Finally helps Geraldine track down a thief, but they must infiltrate the cheesy fortress of the Wensleydale Creamery. Also, we get a snipped of Finally's newest fantasy epic, In Search of the Six Wizzlets.
During a blizzard, Finally holes up in The Underskirt, an isolated historic hotel in the countryside, with only Dappy the bellhop to keep him company. Can Finally stave off impending insanity whilst suspecting Dappy of stealing his last bag of crisps? Also, we get an extract from his latest horror tale, Spankenloin Escapes, wherein a crazy scientist tracks down a monster he built out of spare genitals.
Finally's latest story is a hit! Only trouble is it was released under a pseudonym and no one believes he was the real author. Will he be able to claim ownership? We also hear the first chapter from this story, 1 Bird, 2 Stones, 3 Culprits, about 3 friends on the lam during the Great Depression after one of them murdered a Farmer.
Finally has found love, but will his new girlfriend get in the way of his love of writing and handyman work? Also, we hear an excerpt from his story, Stalemating, about a promiscuous woman trying to break the curse that turned her into a witch
In effort to teach his son how to be a man, Phaseolus takes Finally camping in the Bonkshire Forest despite fears of an ominous entity in the woods. Also, we get a snippet from Finally's newest Sci-Fi romance, Peter's Pendulum, about a man who can time travel by using his male part.
While Finally does the lighting rig for the main catwalk at West Bonkshire Fashion Week, famed lead supermodel Fluffy Orning goes AWOL. Who will stand in as her replacement? Also, we get a glimpse of Finally’s new rhyming novel, There’s a Rod in My Cod.
Finally decides to stage a hostage situation after a publisher refuses to sell his latest story. Also, we get a snippet of Finally's manuscript, Little Bakery of Whorers.
Finally becomes embroiled in the criminal underworld of Porkborough, working from all angles to crawl back to his simple life of handiwork and novel writing. Also, we get a snippet of his new book, The Lilies of the Lake, a quaint romance novel set during the olden British regency.
Finale Abrams. In the series 1 finale, Finally has to play the role of parent after finding something strange in the cistern of Chip Slinger, a well-to-do fellow from Phaseolus's golf club. We also hear a snippet of Wood War Two, Finally's latest historical fiction about a marooned fighter jet pilot trying to stave off the insanity and loneliness found on a desert isle. Fear not, Fanallys, for The Memoirs of Finally Abrams: The Gentleman Writer will be back sooner than you think!
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