Claim OwnershipLowkey Chaotic
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© Zoë Lilou
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A podcast contributing to the wider cultural shift toward emotional intelligence - hosted by Zoë Lilou.
37 Episodes
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I went down a rabbit hole of research on why humans kiss and what might actually be happening in that moment - from biological signals our bodies pick up subconsciously to the complicated dance between chemistry and compatibility.Because sometimes your body knows something your brain hasn’t figured out yet.
This conversation is rooted in my perspective as someone who was lucky enough to be born and live in a country where women have basic rights. But there are millions of women around the world who still don’t.If you’d like to support organizations working to change that:Malala Fund — https://malala.orgEquality Now — https://www.equalitynow.org
A reflective episode about sobriety, escapism, and the slow journey towards self-love. I share my experience quitting weed after eight years, my relationship with alcohol, and how my understanding of discipline and self-respect has evolved over the past two and a half years.
This is a conversation about how, during sex, women often perform pleasure, comfort, and emotional regulation, while men perform control, composure, and stamina - roles shaped by culture, language, and expectation. We talk about performance vs presence, the aggressive language we use to describe sex, emotional labor during intimacy, and the feeling of being an experience instead of sharing one.
I didn’t stay because I was stupid. I stayed because the pain and relief cycle is addictive. A raw conversation about abuse, self-abandonment, and choosing someone else over yourself again and again.
I feel rejected all the time. Not just when the guy i caught feelings for ends things. Also when someone texts me with a dry tone. Or doesn’t reply. And it feels embarrassing to have such big feelings about such small things. So let’s unpack rejection.
As women, we’re constantly monitoring ourselves: on dates, in relationships, and in bed. This episode explores self-surveillance in dating and sex, why transactional intimacy can feel safer than romance, and why even with safe, respectful partners, being fully present can still feel impossible.
A deeply personal and cultural deep dive into why women are taught to believe they love too much and why that was never true. From heartbreak and sensitivity to situationships, ghosting, and emotional detachment, this episode is about reclaiming your heart, trusting your instincts, and remembering that you were never broken. You were just loving in a world that taught men to love too little.
Let’s talk about kinks. About desire and shame. About power, safety, and what it means to feel truly seen by someone. In this episode, I share what I’m learning about wanting, boundaries, trust, and intimacy and why desire is never as random as we think.
“Fuck her till she falls in love” is a phrase that gets thrown around casually as a joke, a warning, or a dismissal.This episode takes that cliché apart.Instead of framing women’s attachment after intimacy as weakness or lack of control, we look at what’s actually happening beneath the surface: nervous system responses, cultural conditioning, and the power dynamics that shape how closeness is experienced and judged.If you’ve ever been told you “caught feelings” as if it were a personal failure, this conversation offers language, context, and relief instead of shame.
In this episode, I talk about endings that don’t happen on your terms, how women are conditioned to cling to the “good guy” in dating culture even when he doesn’t fulfill all their desires, and the nervous system - how it bonds to patterns, why it doesn’t care about timelines or logic, and how it shapes the way we experience loss.
Situationships suck. Good people exist. Clarity is care. Endings are okay. And I broke my foot yesterday.
Modern dating feels tense because women and men are responding to completely different realities.This episode unpacks that divide - the patterns women grow up noticing, the stakes we carry into adulthood, and the context men were never taught to see. Not to blame anyone, but to finally make the gap visible.
I lost myself in my ex. Everything he did or didn’t do determined how I felt, who I was, and how I showed up. And now that I’ve started dating again, I’ve realized how scared I am of slipping back into that version of myself.In this episode, I talk about how past patterns show up in new situations, how your nervous system remembers things you think you’ve moved on from, and what it looks like to try to love someone without abandoning yourself again.
In this episode, I talk about something I genuinely didn’t think was possible for me: having casual sex and actually feeling normal afterwards. No crashing out, no obsessing, no over-analyzing. I get into why this happened, how our nervous systems form patterns around intimacy, and what childhood, attachment, and familiar pain have to do with it. If you’re someone who usually panics after intimacy, this episode will make a lot of sense.
I hate the version of me that shows up after. The part that panics, overanalyzes, and forgets how to be okay alone. This episode is about the fear that comes with wanting to be known, and what it means to crave connection when it’s never felt safe.
Jealousy isn’t proof you’re bitter - it’s proof you care. In this episode, I talk about how jealousy can be a signal, not a flaw, and how to use it as a tool instead of letting it eat you alive.
1I used to not care about body hair. Now I find myself shaving more than ever - not because I want to, but because I don’t want to be judged. So when SKIMS dropped The Ultimate Bush, I started thinking about how something so natural became so complicated. In this episode, I unpack my own story, the history behind the hairless ideal, and how brands use shock value to stay relevant - even when it means selling us back the things we were taught to be ashamed of.
i talk about rejection, childhood wounds, first relationships, and the weird shift from love to sex that happens when you grow up. about feeling undesirable, alone, and learning how to not lose myself in it. not a self-help episode. just me trying to make sense of it.
This is the episode where I say out loud what I’ve been living: I don’t even sleep with people anymore, because it never feels genuine. We’re taught as women that being chosen is the ultimate goal but what happens when men don’t even respect the women they choose? From baggy clothes to frat-boy group chats, from internalized misogyny to the male loneliness crisis, this conversation gets messy, vulnerable, and very real.
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I just wanted to say that the term “pick me” is a misogynistic expression. As you mentioned, we all seek validation as human beings, but this term has turned into a weapon to silence women. It’s overused and often thrown around out of context to belittle them. What you said was really interesting, kisses.