DiscoverThe Patrauma Party - Heal from trauma, improve self worth, and learn to love yourself, dammit
The Patrauma Party - Heal from trauma, improve self worth, and learn to love yourself, dammit
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The Patrauma Party - Heal from trauma, improve self worth, and learn to love yourself, dammit

Author: Remy Ramirez - Your Trauma Bestie™️

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Trauma, but lol. My guests are mental health professionals, and every other episode, I coach a listener through real-life struggles.

Why does healing feel so damn hard? Why do we keep chasing emotionally unavailable people, doubting our self-worth, or feeling stuck in the same cycles no matter how much we try to “just move on”? And most importantly… how do we actually change?

Hey, I’m Remy, and on this podcast, we’re diving into all things healing, transformation, and self-worth, without the clinical jargon or the sugarcoating. I bring therapists, coaches, and mental health professionals together to break down different healing modalities (think somatic work, CBT, polyvagal theory, and more), so you can find what actually works for you.

And because healing isn’t just about theory, every other episode, I coach a listener through their real-life struggles—no certifications, just years of deep personal work, conversations with experts, and a whole lot of lived experience. Think of it like a heart-to-heart with a friend who isn’t afraid to call you out (with love).

If you’re tired of feeling stuck and you’re ready to put yourself at the center of your own story, this podcast is for you. Hit play, grab a bevie (or a journal, or both), and let’s figure this out together.

Want to be coached or get a birth chart or tarot reading? Go here: https://calendly.com/workwithremy
97 Episodes
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This is a continuation of the attachment style series! So many of us are avoidant *and don't even know it.* We avoid conflict, people please, shut down, and/or chronically fail to voice our needs in relationships (yes! this is what a fear of intimacy looks like!). So how do we go from avoidant attachment to a healthier, more secure attachment? In this episode, Dr. Diane Mueller, ND, DAOM, LAc, joins me to dive into how we got here, how it hurts us (aka it's literally impacting your health), and how we start to heal. Want to work with Dr. Mueller? Check out her Eternal Honeymoon course! It's for couples who want to reignite the sexual spark. You'll get solutions and strategies for improving libido and drive (read: having mind-blowing sex again). Great for singles who want to improve their sexy-time communicaton skills, too!Looking for more episodes on attachment styles? Try episode 6—it's all about the anxious/avoidant relationship trap. You can also try any of these episodes—they're all about anxious attachment: episode 14, episode 88, and episode 89.Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.Find us on:Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
Have you heard about reactive defense, AKA reactive abuse? This is super important to know about if you've been in relationships with abusers (your family counts!), especially when narcissistic abuse is at play and YES, even chronic defensiveness. We're getting clear on what this looks like and how to get off the hamster wheel so we feel focused, clear, and powerful and not like we're about to lose our damn minds. Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.Find us on:Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
It's the 3rd epi in my people-pleasing series! I have been DYING to know what human design really is, how it works, and if it can help us with people pleasing. Turns out, not only can it help, it can give you a map that shows exactly where your people pleasing started, how it works, and how you heal it. Human design expert and confidence coach Kelly Hughes joins me to show us the way. Want to work with Kelly? Check out her incredible courses, and use code PATRAUMAPARTY at check-out for 10% off:90-minute Human Design ReadingReading + 6-week or 12-week coaching containerLooking for more episodes on people-pleasing? Try epi 91, epi 92, epi 87, epi 86, or epi 30. For more on boundary setting, try epi 10, epi 46, or epi 61.Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.Find us on:Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
This is episode 2 in my people-pleasing deep-dive! One of our biggest fears as people-pleasers is speaking up for ourselves during conflict—it can literally make us feel like we're going to pass out from anxiety! So how do we move from the knee-jerk "Sounds good, no worries!" to a thoughtful, authentic: "Actually, here's what I need..."? In this epi, psychologist, author, relationship expert, and podcast host Dr. Tracy Dalgleish joins me to get into what's underlying our people-pleasing patterns, why people-pleasing actually leads to MORE conflict, and how we heal. Looking for more episodes on people-pleasing? Try epi 91, epi 87, epi 86, or epi 30. For more on boundary setting, try epi 10, epi 46, or epi 61.Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.Find us on:Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
It's my first in a series on people pleasing! We're looking at it from all angles, starting with people-pleasing at work. We do it to stay safe, even to get ahead in our careers—but it's actually sabotaging our success! The problem is, half the time, we don't even know we're doing it, and the other half, we've people pleased before we even have a chance to think about what we're saying (soooo frustrating)! In this episode, executive coach, TED Talk speaker, and founder of Encourage Coaching, Katie O’Malley, joins me to talk about how we overcome the traumatized thinking that keeps us in people-pleaser mode, so we can set boundaries and take our power back. Looking for more episodes on people-pleasing? Try epi 87, epi 86, or epi 30. For more on boundary setting, try epi 10, epi 46, or epi 61.Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.Find us on:Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
How do you know when it's time to end a friendship, or any relationship for that matter? How do you know when you're just being "dramatic," like your family of origin always told you you were, and when you're self-advocating and standing in your power? How do you balance healthy boundaries with healthy compassion, especially when a person's toxicity is coming from being abused themselves? In this episode, we're doing a deep dive into when it's time to call it quits, so that you can stop feeling drained and disrespected, and start feeling loved and cared for. Go ⁠⁠here if you'd like one-on-one coaching, a birth chart reading, or a tarot reading with Remy.⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. 
We've all been there—trying to figure out the exact right way to phrase the text so we sound cool and aloof when actually we've been crying for the last two hours. Anxious attachment style can suuuckkkkk so bad because it's rooted in deep feelings of not being good enough, not trusting people, and not loving ourselves. But what if I told you there's nothing wrong with YOU? Not just to hype you up (which, I'm your forever hype girl), but literally, technically - anxious attachment is a *healthy* response to a *really unhealthy* situation. You're not f*cked up, you're just wounded. In this episode, life coach Jess Taylor joins me to get to the root of healing anxious attachment, so that we can feel freer, more confident, and more excited to live life!Looking for more on anxious attachment? Check out episode 14.Want to work with Remy? Go ⁠⁠here.Find us on:Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
Being anxiously attached in a relationship is hard enough, but anxiously attached during a breakup?? The feelings of abandonment, the hopelessness, the sense that you'll never get your life back—it can be a real codependent spiral. In this episode, we dive into what the breakup process can look like for anxiously attached folks, what lies we tell ourselves in those dark moments, and what we need to know to get back in alignment with our TRUE selves.Go ⁠⁠here if you'd like one-on-one coaching, a birth chart reading, or a tarot reading with Remy.⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. 
A lot of times, we think the antidote to burnout is a nap or a vacay (which, no shade, we love a vacay) but a lot of us are struggling with burnout from our own—often *subconscious*—repeated behaviors like perfectionism, overachieving (in an attempt to feel worthy or valid), people pleasing, or not setting appropriate boundaries. AKA, the call is coming from inside the house. In this episode, I welcome therapist and yoga instructor Amanda Baker to join me as we get into all things burnout—what it looks like, the role our nervous systems play in it, and how we heal. Go ⁠⁠here if you'd like one-on-one coaching, a birth chart reading, or a tarot reading with Remy.⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. 
Do you ever get mad at yourself because you didn't hold a boundary? Are you SO over what a people pleaser you can be? Has anyone ever told you you need to respect yourself like they were talking to kindergartener and you STILL, to this day, carry that shame around with you? This is your epi, hunny. We're getting into the connection between people pleasing, boundaries, and self respect, and why self respect is actually a lot more complicated than your (kind of rude, TBH) friend realizes. If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. 
Real talk—narcissistic mothers unleash a reign of terror over their kids, and for MANY of us, we don't even realize it for years and years! We may even adore, worship, and endlessly praise our mothers (which is what many narcissistic mothers groom their children to do BTW). The way it impacts our self-worth and ability to set boundaries is WILD. In this epi, I welcome coach and host of the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers podcast, ⁠Matilde Crocini,⁠ to get into what this abuse looks like, how it impacts us, and her 3-step process for recovering from it. (PS you can check out her free self-love practice that she mentions ⁠here⁠. )If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠here.Birth Chart Reading Giveaway Rules!Leave me a rating and review, screenshot it, post it on your Insta story, and tag me: @thepatraumaparty. If you leave it on Apple, you'll get 3 entries. If you just do a rating on Spotify (since you can't do a review), you'll get 1 entry. Winner announced after July 12th!Want to connect? Find me here:⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline. 
Literally romantic obsession SUCKS. The longing is so intense, and there's no way to satiate it. In this epi, we get into how your unmet childhood needs are feeding your limerence, how we work with them, and why self-love is both the key AND just the beginning. Birth Chart Reading Giveaway Rules! Leave me a rating and review, screenshot it, post it on your Insta story, and tag me: @thepatraumaparty. If you leave it on Apple Podcasts, you'll get 3 entries. If you just do a rating on Spotify (since you can't do a review), you'll get 1 entry. Winner announced after July 12th!If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠here.Want to connect? Find me here:⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
Anxiety isn't just about your thoughts, it's about whether or not you see *YOURSELF* as capable enough to handle life (OOF!). In this episode, I get into this and SO much more with anxiety expert Dr. Stephanie Lopez (you can check out her FREE training for ditching anxiety here). If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠here.Want to connect? Find me here:⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
In this epi, we're getting into the symptoms of growing up without a parent who supported and hyped you up or even hugged you—it can show up allll over your life—AND we're getting into how we heal. (Don't worry—it's a huge heartache, but we're starting small.)If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠here.Want to connect? Find me here:⁠Instagram⁠⁠TikTok⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
NBD just going through life feeling like you're always the problem because you weren't treated like you were good enough to be heard, seen, respected, or loved as a kid! In this episode, psychotherapist Kelly Lewis joins me for a deep dive: neglect, anxious attachment, conditional love, perfectionism, and having to earn approval—and how all of them are related to not feeling good enough. Plus we look at social factors like fatphobia, homophobia, racism, and sexism, and how THEY create the feeling that we're not good enough. We'll also look at growth & fixed mindsets and imposter syndrome, and the role they play. And ofc, we go dive into how to heal, so you can leave that pain behind and start knowing your worth.If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠here.Want to connect? Find me here:InstagramTikTokEmail: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
Are you feeling like you're always on the brink of a panic attack while a government of racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic oligarchs squeezes every last ounce of democracy out of our country? Then this one's for you.If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠here.Want to connect? Find me here:⁠Instagram⁠⁠TikTok⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
Healing after a breakup suucckkks—the grief, the anger, the fear. In this episode, I sit down with somatic practioner Laurie James to talk about The 4 E's (we especially love "expel"), self-compassion post-breakup, and even breakups with friends and family. If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠here.Want to connect? Find me here:⁠Instagram⁠⁠TikTok⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
A lot of families don't take sibling abuse seriously—behavior they would never accept from a bully at school, they completely gloss over when it's happening at home. How do we heal from that trauma? And when it continues into adulthood, can we even mend the relationship with our sibling? In this episode, I coach Jackie through these questions, letting go of what isn't working so that she can reclaim her authentic self and integrate what was lost along the way.If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠here.Want to connect? Find me here:⁠Instagram⁠⁠TikTok⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
Does your internal monologue ever sound like, "I'll never get better," "I'll never have the life I want," "I'll never fall in love"? Then this one's for you, baby! Learned helplessness is when we learn (often in abusive households growing up) that we don't have any control over the harm being done to us, so we just stop trying. We basically learn to be helpless. In this episode, somatic marriage and family therapist Katrina Foster joins me to talk through how learned helplessness impacts our lives and how we heal from the bottom up. If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠here.Want to connect? Find me here:⁠Instagram⁠⁠TikTok⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
After a sexual assault, you often spiral into a hole you feel you'll never come out of. In this episode, Rima writes in to ask for help with the feeling that she will be never the person she was before she was assaulted. For clarity's sake, the phrase "sexual assault" is an umbrella term that applies to many experiences, including but not limited to rape. If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, you can reach out to RAINN at 800.656.HOPE (4673).If you'd like a one-on-one coaching session, birth chart reading, or tarot reading with Remy, go ⁠⁠here.Want to connect? Find me here:⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
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