You're Not Crazy: A Podcast for Cycle Breakers with Toxic Parents

If you grew up with a parent who had narcissistic or borderline traits, you may have heard this when you started setting boundaries, going to therapy, or naming the dysfunction in your family. In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we unpack: Why “walking on eggshells” is not the same thing in a parent-child relationship The lifelong power imbalance that doesn’t magically disappear when you turn 18 Why toxic parents often say this when you stop being compliant How this narrative twists reality and creates a false “both sides” story The subtle gaslighting behind “I have to walk on eggshells around you, too” When a parent says this, it often isn’t about your behavior. It’s about their discomfort with accountability. It’s about losing control of a dynamic where you were expected to stay small, agreeable, and emotionally accommodating. If you’ve started therapy, begun setting boundaries with a toxic parent, or noticed pushback when you stop playing your assigned role in the family, this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening. Support the growth of the show and get access to bonus content by joining You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed.  Plus, you'll get ad-free versions of all new episodes when you join:https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell breaks down common behaviors that toxic families often label as “normal,” but that are actually deeply damaging and abusive. We talk about why these dynamics are so confusing, why they impact you as deeply as they do, and why your reactions are not a personal flaw. You’ll learn: Why emotional and psychological abuse in families is often minimized or dismissed How power and control shape parent-child dynamics, even in adulthood Why stonewalling, silent treatment, shaming, and gaslighting are not “just family stuff” How abuse creates confusion, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion over time How naming abuse accurately can be a powerful step toward clarity and healing If you’ve ever questioned whether it was “really that bad,” struggled to trust your own emotional reactions, or felt drawn to content about toxic parents while doubting your experience, this episode offers grounding, validation, and context. Love the podcast? Support the show (and get access to bonus content) Get ad-free episodes, bonus content, and access to archived episodes by joining You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed. https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Schedule a Therapy Phone Consultation If you’re interested in talking about working with Torie in therapy, use the following link to schedule a free phone consultation. Must be located in CA, OR, or WA. https://toriewikselltherapy.com/schedule If this episode was helpful, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of You're Not Crazy, I walk through the most common reasons boundaries fail with narcissistic, emotionally immature, and toxic parents. Not because you did it wrong, but because most people are taught a version of boundaries that doesn’t account for manipulation, emotional dysregulation, guilt, or the survival responses cycle breakers carry into adulthood. We talk about: -Why using the word “boundary” often backfires with toxic parents -What a boundary actually is (and why it’s about your behavior, not controlling theirs) -How toxic parents escalate when they feel dysregulated or lose access to you -Why guilt, panic, and urgency show up after you set limits -How not enforcing a boundary teaches your parent to push harder -Why boundaries without an enforcement plan almost always collapse This episode is especially for adults who intellectually understand boundaries but still find themselves caving when their parent panics, guilt-trips, or emotionally escalates. If you’ve ever thought, “I know what I should do, but I can’t seem to follow through,” this conversation will give you clarity and language for what’s really happening. This is also why boundary work with toxic parents requires more than scripts or one-off advice. It requires understanding the family system, the manipulation tactics, and your own nervous system responses so you can follow through without self-abandoning. And if you want access to more episodes of the podcast, sign up for You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed. You'll be supporting the growth of the show while getting access to archived, bonus, and ad-free episodes of You're Not Crazy:confidentboundaries.com/private  If this episode helped put words to something you’ve been struggling with, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show and feel less alone. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The gaslighting, denial, deflection, and rewriting of reality mirror the dynamics many adults grew up with in toxic or narcissistic family systems. Torie explains how ongoing trauma impacts emotional capacity, why trauma that is still happening cannot be healed (only coped with), and how the pressure to respond perfectly often leads to paralysis. For listeners who feel overwhelmed, stuck, and at a loss for how to move forward right now, this episode provides context, validation, and grounded perspective. Support the podcast and listen ad-freeJoin You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed for bonus and archived episodes plus ad-free listening:https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Most cycle breakers know exactly what they don’t want to repeat. But knowing what not to do is very different from knowing how to be an emotionally healthy adult, especially when emotional regulation, boundaries, and healthy relationships were never modeled for you. In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we talk about why learning emotional health as a cycle breaker is often messy, uncomfortable, and filled with shame. We explore the fear of “becoming your parent,” the pressure to get it right immediately, and the black-and-white thinking that makes normal struggles feel like personal failures. This episode covers: -Why most cycle breakers start adulthood without the skills they need -How growing up with explosive, punishing, or emotionally unavailable parents shapes your relationship with emotions -Why suppressing feelings, intellectualizing, or trying to be “easy” creates problems as an adult -The difference between struggling emotionally and being emotionally unsafe -Why emotional health is built through skill-building, accountability, and repair, not perfection -How shame keeps cycle breakers stuck and what helps loosen its grip If you’re deeply invested in becoming an emotionally healthy adult but feel discouraged by your imperfections, this episode is for you. Support the podcast:Subscribe to You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed for bonus episodes, archived content, and ad-free listening for $5/month. Your support helps grow the podcast while giving you access to additional content. Thank you!https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private If this episode resonated, please consider leaving a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find our show. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Self-doubt is one of the most common and paralyzing struggles for cycle breakers. In this episode of the You’re Not Crazy Podcast, Torie explains why chronic self-doubt is not a personality flaw, but a trauma response rooted in long-term gaslighting and emotional invalidation. You’ll learn how growing up in a toxic family system trains you to distrust your own memories, emotions, and decisions, and why self-doubt often shows up most intensely when you start setting boundaries, becoming more assertive, or trying to live differently than your family expects. Torie breaks down how “self-gaslighting” develops, why it makes adult decision-making feel overwhelming, and how awareness can help you stop treating this voice as truth. This episode is especially relevant if you: Were told you were too sensitive, dramatic, or wrong about your experiences Second-guess your boundaries and feel tempted to backtrack Freeze when making decisions because you are afraid of choosing wrong Feel stuck even though you are trying to heal and break the cycle Most importantly, this conversation reframes self-doubt as a normal byproduct of growing up in a dysfunctional family, not evidence that you are incapable, broken, or failing at healing. You’re Not Crazy: The Private Podcast FeedGet ad-free episodes, bonus content, and full access to archived episodes.https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private If this episode resonated, please leave a five-star review to help other cycle breakers find the show. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This episode is about nuance. It’s about why labels like narcissistic personality disorder, borderline traits, or “toxic parent” can feel both clarifying and overwhelming, and why healing does not actually depend on getting a definitive diagnosis. I talk about: Why patterns of behavior matter more than labels How gaslighting, emotional volatility, shame, and walking on eggshells shape adult children Why many cycle breakers grow up in “two realities” with the same parent The grief, relief, anger, and desire for connection that can coexist How minimizing what you experienced can quietly train you to tolerate harm in other relationships Want access to ad-free and archived episodes of You're Not Crazy?Join You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed for archived episodes, bonus content, and ad-free listening.https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

From navigating visibility as a therapist talking openly about toxic family systems, to setting boundaries around social media, content creation, and emotional labor, this episode is a grounded, honest look at what it actually takes to do this work sustainably as a cycle breaker. Torie shares why she’s recommitting to the podcast, simplifying where her energy goes, and being more intentional about how and where she shows up. She also talks candidly about burnout, backlash, self doubt, and what it means to keep choosing growth when you were conditioned to stay small. This episode covers: -Personal reflections from a year of growth, visibility, and boundary setting -The emotional cost of talking publicly about narcissistic and toxic parents -Why simplifying is a form of healing, not quitting -Reprioritizing the podcast and stepping back from what no longer fits -Looking ahead to 2026 with more clarity, intention, and self trust Are you loving the podcast? Join You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed to support the show and get access to bonus and archived episodes, plus ad-free versions of all new episodes:https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, we talk about why the holidays feel so heavy when you grew up with a narcissistic, emotionally immature, or unpredictable parent. We explore why perfection is not possible, why black-and-white thinking keeps cycle breakers stuck, and why self-compassion is one of the most regulating tools you can practice during this time of year. You’ll hear: Why the holidays are uniquely triggering for adult children of toxic parents How dissociation and “go go go” mode show up as survival responses Why there is no perfect decision when family dynamics are complicated How to notice when you are being harsh with yourself and interrupt that pattern A personal story about navigating imperfect holidays as a cycle-breaking parent This is a reminder that breaking the cycle does not require perfection. It requires flexibility, self-compassion, and learning to live in the gray. If you’re looking for more support over the holidays, the You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed includes bonus episodes, archived content, and ad-free listening.Join the private feed here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this short, grounding episode of the You’re Not Crazy Podcast, we’re talking about how cycle breakers can take care of themselves during the holidays when family dynamics are toxic, overwhelming, or emotionally unsafe. This is not about pushing through. It’s not about pretending everything is fine. And it’s not about forcing yourself into situations that cost you your nervous system. You’ll hear practical, compassionate ways to support yourself right now if you’re spiraling, avoiding family, or counting down the days until the holidays are over, including: How to help your body feel safe when holiday stress activates old trauma responses Why creating traditions that have nothing to do with your family matters more than you think Simple self check-ins to protect your energy and emotional capacity Permission to change your mind about plans as you learn what you can actually handle How to notice real progress, even if it feels small or imperfect You deserve tools that help you get through this season without abandoning yourself. And, if you want more support beyond this episode, here are a few things that can help: You’re Not Crazy: The Private FeedGet access to all archived episodes plus two bonus episodes every month, ad free.Join here for $5/month:https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In today’s episode, Torie breaks down why cycle breakers panic-agree to things they don’t want to do, why your body goes into survival mode when you try to set limits, and why allowing yourself to change your mind is a crucial part of healing. Listen to learn: Why your nervous system floods when you’re put on the spot Why saying yes too quickly is a trauma response, not a personality flaw How to recognize when an impulsive commitment no longer aligns with your capacity Why changing your mind is a healthy, adult skill even if your parent “freaks out” How to start giving yourself permission to choose what’s right for you If the holidays are already feeling heavy, this episode will help you understand your reactions and move toward decisions that honor your time, energy, and wellbeing. Want bonus episodes and an ad-free listening experience? Join You’re Not Crazy: The Private Feed:https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private If this episode resonated, please leave a five-star review to help more cycle breakers find our show. Thank you! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, we talk openly about cycle breaker shame, why it hits so hard after the holidays, and why these moments don’t define your growth. Listen to learn how to reconnect with the emotionally mature adult you’re working so hard to become. For bonus episodes, archived episodes, and an ad-free experience, join the You’re Not Crazy Private Feed:https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This week’s episode breaks down why the holidays bring up so much dread, why perfectionism shows up so strongly for cycle breakers, and how to stay grounded when your family triggers you. Torie Wiksell, therapist and boundaries coach, shares: • Why “not being triggered” is not the goal • How perfectionism shows up for cycle breakers • What’s actually in your control this week • How to prepare for emotional flooding, guilt, and old survival mode • A realistic definition of “success” for adult children of toxic parents • How to navigate the holiday without dissociating or blaming yourself This episode is your reminder that complicated emotions don’t mean you’re failing. They mean you’re human. Want ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and access to the full archive of You’re Not Crazy? Join the Private Feed for $5/month. It’s the easiest way to support the show and get more cycle-breaker support in your week. Join here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In today’s episode, Torie breaks down the 5 most common reasons boundaries with narcissistic, emotionally immature, and otherwise toxic parents fail, and the practical shifts that actually help them stick. Want ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and access to the full archive of You’re Not Crazy? Join the Private Feed for $5/month. It’s the easiest way to support the show and get more cycle-breaker support in your week. Join here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private You deserve a peaceful holiday season, and you don’t have to wing it this year. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell breaks down the difference between healthy guilt and the manipulative guilt toxic parents use to control you. You’ll learn: Why guilt feels so overwhelming for adult children of narcissistic or emotionally immature parents How to recognize when guilt is being used as manipulation Practical steps to calm your body and stop guilt from driving your decisions If you grew up walking on eggshells or still feel responsible for your parent’s emotions, this conversation will help you find clarity, self-trust, and relief. Want ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and access to the full archive of You’re Not Crazy? Join the Private Feed for $5/month. It’s the easiest way to support the show and get more cycle-breaker support in your week. Join here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

As a therapist, boundaries coach, and cycle breaker herself, Torie shares the deeper truth behind these painful family dynamics: what really leads someone to end contact, how the media gets it wrong, and why accountability and power dynamics must be part of the conversation. If you’ve ever been told you “abandoned” your family or felt judged for making the gut-wrenching decision to protect your peace, this episode will remind you that you’re not crazy — and that choosing yourself does not make you a selfish person. We’ll cover: Why “family estrangement” has become a loaded, stigmatizing term The power imbalance between parents and adult children that not enough people are talking about The truth about why cycle breakers go no contact — and why it’s never impulsive How media narratives and even some therapists perpetuate shame A more honest, hopeful way to talk about healing family relationships Want ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and access to the full archive of You’re Not Crazy? Join the Private Feed for $5/month. It’s the easiest way to support the show and get more cycle-breaker support in your week. Join here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode of You’re Not Crazy, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell shares the truth about how that same caretaking instinct keeps so many cycle breakers stuck. Torie opens up about her own experience navigating guilt, fear, and the pressure to protect the people in her family who hurt her—especially as she shares her own story publicly. This conversation explores: How caretaking becomes a form of self-abandonment Why guilt doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong—it means you’re breaking a pattern What it actually looks like to stop managing everyone else’s emotions How to release responsibility for other people’s discomfort without losing your empathy If you’ve ever felt torn between taking care of yourself and protecting your family’s feelings, this episode will help you understand why that tension exists—and how to start choosing yourself without shame. Torie’s reminder for this week: “ It is not our job to comfort people we care about when they are uncomfortable with us taking care of ourselves.” Want ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and access to the full archive of You’re Not Crazy? Join the Private Feed for $5/month. It’s the easiest way to support the show and get more cycle-breaker support in your week.Join here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

This episode explores the direct pipeline from narcissistic parenting to abusive partners. If you’ve ever blamed yourself for how you survived, this one’s for you. Want ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and access to the full archive of You’re Not Crazy? Join the Private Feed. It’s the easiest way to support the show and get more cycle-breaker support in your week. Join here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, please reach out to local emergency services or the National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, therapist and boundaries coach Torie Wiksell (and fellow cycle breaker) exposes the myth of “no contact as a fad” and validates the years—sometimes decades—of exhausting effort cycle breakers pour into maintaining relationships with narcissistic or emotionally immature parents before making the heartbreaking decision to step back. We’ll cover: Why going no contact with a toxic parent is never taken lightly The hidden grief and guilt cycle breakers face when boundaries still aren’t respected How narcissistic parents weaponize the “estranged parent” narrative What it really takes to break the cycle of dysfunction without losing yourself If you’ve ever questioned whether you’ve “tried hard enough” with your toxic parent, this episode will give you the validation and relief you need. Want ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and access to the full archive of You’re Not Crazy? Join the Private Feed for $5/month. It’s the easiest way to support the show and get more cycle-breaker support in your week. Join here: https://www.confidentboundaries.com/private And if you need more support with your own toxic parent, check out Confident Boundaries with Toxic Parents, Torie’s self-guided course that walks you step-by-step through setting boundaries, navigating guilt, and creating realistic strategies for dealing with toxic family dynamics. When you enroll this week, you’ll also get her Holiday Survival Guide for free: a practical, trauma-informed roadmap for navigating the season with clarity and confidence. Get immediate access at ConfidentBoundaries.com/course Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, I talk about the complicated grief that surfaces once we begin setting boundaries and creating distance from toxic, narcissistic, or emotionally immature parents. I share what it looked like in my own life— the emotional toll of being a parentified child, and why our healing journey often involves mourning the milestones we missed while we were just trying to survive. This conversation is especially for those who feel behind in life, who struggle with guilt for being sad about the past, or who just need to hear that it’s okay to grieve what should have been. Because healing from a toxic parent doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t hurt—it means being honest with our reality, making space for that pain, and still choosing to move forward. If you're looking for support navigating your cycle breaking journey in real time, the Boundaries Helper GPT inside the Confident Boundaries Membership is now live and ready to help. Support the show A huge thank you to our podcast sponsors! 🎧 Ready for More? ➔Subscribe to You're Not Crazy: The Private Feed for ad-free episodes, bonus content, and archived episodes no longer available in the public feed: confidentboundaries.com/private ➔Join me in the Confident Boundaries Membership ($39/month and the first 24 hours are free!) 📱 Download the Confident Boundaries App iOS and Android Let's be friends: tiktok.com/@theboundariescoach instagram.com/torieatconfidentboundaries Disclaimer: This podcast is not therapy. If you’re in crisis, please call the 988 Crisis Lifeline. You're Not Crazy is owned and produced by Torie Wiksell and Confident Boundaries, LLC. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.