Light in the Battle: Autism, Single Motherhood and Trauma Recovery

Episode — Fellowship & Mentorship in Narcissistic Abuse Recovery — Podcasthon Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court — Season 2Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.This season is a step-by-step journey from the trauma bond to emotional freedom. Along the way we’ve explored trauma recovery through understanding the trauma bond, working through PTSD and CPTSD, using trauma therapies like EMDR, practicing forgiveness without reconciliation, and breaking patterns of codependency.In this episode we move into the next phase of narcissistic abuse recovery: fellowship and mentorship.Healing from abusive dynamics is extremely difficult to do in isolation. Survivors often leave these relationships with confusion, self-doubt, and lingering trauma responses that make it hard to trust themselves again. Community support can provide something that individual trauma recovery work alone cannot: shared understanding, validation, and co-regulation.For many survivors of narcissistic abuse, finding rooms where people understand these patterns can be life-changing.In this episode, we discuss the importance of recovery communities and introduce the STAR Network (Survivors of Toxic and Abusive Relationships), an organization that provides support groups, mentorship, and resources for survivors. In the context of Podcasthon week, promoting this organization was a natural fit with where we're at in Season 2: Fellowship & Mentorship as a way of achieving emotional detachment after narcissistic abuse, and in preparation for family court hearings. • Why narcissistic abuse recovery often requires community support• The role of fellowship in trauma recovery• Why survivors of narcissistic abuse often struggle to heal in isolation• How peer support helps rebuild trust in your perception of reality• Why autistic women (ASD) may benefit especially from structured recovery communities• The difference between codependency and healthy fellowship• How mentorship and survivor communities can accelerate healing• Why emotional detachment becomes easier when you are not carrying the recovery journey aloneRecovery spaces like TAR Anon meetings offered through the STAR Network, led by Dr. Jamie Huysman, provide opportunities for survivors of narcissistic abuse to connect with others who understand the dynamics of toxic and abusive relationships. For many survivors, these communities reduce shame, provide understanding, and support long-term healing.For autistic women navigating narcissistic abuse recovery, trauma recovery can feel especially complex. ASD traits such as pattern-seeking, deep empathy, and difficulty interpreting manipulative social dynamics can make survivors more vulnerable to codependent patterns. Fellowship and mentorship can help provide perspective, pattern recognition, and emotional support along the way.As we continue Season 2, we will move from fellowship into the next stages of emotional detachment: gratitude, surrender, and grief — the final steps toward emotional freedom.If you are a survivor of narcissistic abuse, remember: recovery does not have to happen alone.👉 Follow the show to continue the Season 2 journey.👉 Join a TAR Anon meeting ASAP👉 Leave a review if this episode helped you — it helps this information reach more survivors.Disclaimer: This podcast shares lived experience and perspectives on narcissistic abuse recovery, trauma recovery, autism and ASD. It is not a substitute for professional medical, legal, or mental health advice.

I want to do something a little different in this episode.If you’ve been listening to Season 2 from the beginning, you probably already feel that there’s a progression. We didn’t just randomly move from trauma bonds to EMDR to forgiveness to codependency.There’s a reason the season unfolds the way it does.And if you’re newer here — if you found this podcast somewhere in the middle — you might not realize that Season 2 was intentionally built as a roadmap, for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse.Because healing after narcissistic abuse, trauma, nervous system dysregulation, and identity loss is not random. It has phases, like pit stops.And depending on when you found this podcast, you might be asking yourself:Where am I in this process?Am I at the trauma bond stage, or past it?Am I behind?Should I start at the beginning?Why does this episode resonate but that one makes me so mad? This episode is here to help you orient yourself, and understand how this season is structured.We started with the trauma bond because you can’t rebuild your life if your nervous system is still organized around the person who hurt you.This is the stage where you might still feel pulled toward them. Where you know logically it was harmful, but emotionally you still feel attached. Where you’re confused about why you miss someone who damaged you.Those episodes break down what the trauma bond actually is, how it forms, and how it begins to loosen.If that’s where you are — start there with Episode 15A.Once the trauma bond starts to weaken, something else often shows up more clearly: the nervous system.This is where you might feel dysregulated, anxious, exhausted, reactive, numb, or flooded with emotions.We talk about PTSD. We talk about EMDR. We talk about how trauma is encoded and how it can be reprocessed.This phase is about stabilization.Forgiveness comes next. And it does not mean excusing what happened, giving second chances, nor reconciling.Forgiveness, in this context, is about releasing the chronic emotional charge that keeps you tied to the injury.It only becomes accessible after some stabilization.If you tried to forgive too early and it felt fake or forced — that’s why.This episode sits exactly where it belongs in the roadmap.Once you’re no longer just surviving, you start asking harder questions.Why did I tolerate this?What patterns in me made this possible?Why do I over-accommodate?This is where we move into codependency — what it is, why it forms, and why autistic women in particular are often especially vulnerable to it.Because we’re often deeply attuned, conscientious, and conditioned to overgive and keep relationships smooth. This stage is about reclaiming autonomy.It’s about understanding your wiring so you can rewire it.After stabilization and restructuring comes expansion.Gratitude — understanding that this nonsense happened FOR you. Fellowship and mentorship — including safe, grounded coregulation through the STAR Network.Surrender and grief — the deeper integration work where you release the version of you that survived domestic abuse, as well as all the negativity in your current reality.These phases each become accessible when your nervous system is ready.If you’re still emotionally pulled toward the dysfunctional person, you’re probably in trauma bond work.If you’re physically out but your body still feels unstable, PTSD and stabilization work might be most relevant.If you’re questioning your own relational patterns, you need to understand codepedendency.If you’re beginning to feel stable and asking how to build forward — you’re moving into integration.You fall somewhere on a sequence.And this season was built so that wherever you are, there’s a place to land on a nervous system recovery journey.Please do not force yourself into a phase you’re not ready for.You just have to meet yourself honestly where you are.There is Light in this Battle — at every point.

How do you actually break free from codependency?Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.This is Part 3 of the Codependency mini-series, within Season 2.If you’re new to this topic, start with:Episode 20 — Codependent traits and behaviorsEpisode 21 — The link between autism and codependencyIn this episode, we focus on something hopeful and practical:How do you actually break free from codependency?Because forgiveness alone doesn’t reorient you.Trauma therapy alone doesn’t change identity.And leaving the relationship alone doesn’t remove the pattern.Codependency is not just about who you were with — it’s about who you became in order to survive.And recovery requires a reorientation.The core message of Codependent No More by Melody BeattieWhy learning to depend on yourself is foundationalHow to stop abandoning yourself for othersWhat healthy boundaries actually are (and what they are not)Practicing “no” and sitting with the discomfortThe difference between supporting someone and fixing themWhy detachment is not withdrawal, resignation, or indifferenceHow to create internal predictability instead of seeking it through chaotic relationshipsSelf-verification: why the autistic brain may cling to familiar dynamics — even painful onesWhy joining support groups (like CoDA or other recovery spaces) can help with reorientationHow recovery from codependency frees up bandwidth for parenting, work, strategy, and real peaceFor autistic women especially, letting go of codependency can feel like losing a self-definition.It creates a void.The real question isn’t:“Who am I without them?”It’s:“Who am I without the role that made me feel less like a misfit?”That void is uncomfortable — but it’s where detachment begins.And detachment, in this season, is not emotional coldness.It’s the ability to stop organizing your identity around someone else’s emotional states.That shift is what allows you to:show up calm in courtstop sending reactive emailsparallel parent strategicallyraise a non-codependent childengage in healthy relationships going forwardCodependency fades when the nervous system learns that stability, worth, predictability, and control can come from within — not from managing external chaos.Later in Season 2, we’ll move into:Mentorship & fellowshipGratitudeSurrenderGriefAll essential steps on the path to full emotional detachment.If this season is challenging you, that’s intentional. Growth is uncomfortable. But the woman you’re becoming is grounded, emotionally safe, and no longer defined by survival.👉 Follow the show to receive the full Season 2 journey.👉 Leave a review if this content is helping you.Disclaimer: I am not a medical, legal, or mental health professional. This podcast is based on lived experience. Please consult qualified professionals for guidance specific to your situation.Have courage. You can do this.

Let's continue our deep dive into codependency — why autistic women are particularly vulnerable to codependency, before we think about ways out of codependency. This entire Season is a journey towards emotional detachment, because detaching is essential not only for healing, but for protecting our children and showing up as the stable, credible parent in family court.One of the hardest truths I had to learn is that legal advice doesn’t land when emotions are running high. As long as survivors show up dysregulated — in emails, texts, reports, or in court — they continue to generate material that can be used against them, even when their concerns are valid. Emotional detachment does not mean we stop caring, what it does is it removes the reactivity that you shoot yourself in the foot with, time and time again. DETACH, BABY, DETACH!!!Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we get clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.So in Season 2, I’m taking you step by step through the journey I personally had to walk to detach completely — without detaching from my child’s wellbeing — and to finally be able to show patterns of behavior, in a way family court cannot ignore.So far this season, we’ve covered:Trauma bonding (⁠Episode 15⁠ & ⁠Episode 16⁠)PTSD / CPTSD and EMDR (⁠Episodes 17⁠ & ⁠Episode 18)⁠Forgiveness — and why it does not mean reconciliation (⁠Episode 19⁠)Introducing Codependency - Behaviors and Traits, Episode 20Now it’s time to talk about codependency IN ASD WOMEN.Recap of the 5 traits & behaviors found in codependentsRecap of the 5 more common traits found in austistic people and how much that looks like codependent traitsHow codependency can develop in autistic women, especially those raised in unstable environmentsReminders about the concept of self-verification — and how the autistic brain’s need for predictability can keep codependent dynamics in placeHow codependency and narcissistic dynamics reinforce each other without blaming survivors of domestic violenceWhy emotional detachment is key to parallel parenting and raising a non-codependent childThis episode draws in part from:Codependent No More, written by Melody BeattieAn ⁠Interview Of Melody Beattie⁠Research on self-verification (SimplyPsychology.org and publicly available resources on Google)This is Part 2 of the codependency arc. Part 1 has explained the common behaviors & traits of codependent people, and part 3 in Episode 22 will suggest ways to walk the journey of codependency recovery. In upcoming episodes, we’ll move into gratitude, fellowship & mentorship, surrender, and grief — all essential stages on the path to emotional detachment and freedom.👉 Please follow the show and leave a 5-star review if this season resonates. It helps this content reach other women who need it.Disclaimer: I am not a medical, legal, or mental health professional. This podcast is based on lived experience. Please consult qualified professionals to determine what is appropriate for your situation.Stay with me through this season. It will get uncomfortable for sure. That's the whole point, I'm trying to help you get out of your own way so you can better hear what your lawyer is saying. I’m taking you on a journey, from the day you get out of the dysfunctional dynamic, all the way to emotional freedom. Follow the show so you can get all the episodes of Season 2.

Let's begin a deep dive into codependency — what it actually is, in preparation for why autistic women are particularly vulnerable to it next week - and why emotional detachment is essential not only for healing, but for protecting our children and showing up as the stable, credible parent in family court.One of the hardest truths I had to learn is that legal advice doesn’t land when emotions are running high. As long as survivors show up dysregulated — in emails, texts, reports, or in court — they continue to generate material that can be used against them, even when their concerns are valid. Emotional detachment does not mean we stop caring, what it does is it removes the reactivity that you shoot yourself in the foot with, time and time again. DETACH, BABY, DETACH!!!Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle — a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, where we get clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.So in Season 2, I’m taking you step by step through the journey I personally had to walk to detach completely — without detaching from my child’s wellbeing — and to finally be able to show patterns of behavior, in a way family court cannot ignore.So far this season, we’ve covered:Trauma bonding (Episode 15 & Episode 16)PTSD / CPTSD and EMDR (Episodes 17 & Episode 18)Forgiveness — and why it does not mean reconciliation (Episode 19)Now it’s time to talk about codependency.A clear definition of codependency and common traitsWhy codependent traits often emerge in dysfunctional or high-conflict family systemsHow codependency can develop in autistic women, especially those raised in unstable environmentsWhy forgiveness alone doesn’t break emotional entanglementThe concept of self-verification — and how the autistic brain’s need for predictability can keep codependent dynamics in placeHow codependency and narcissistic dynamics reinforce each other without blaming survivors of domestic violenceWhy emotional detachment is key to parallel parenting and raising a non-codependent childThis episode draws in part from:Codependent No More, written by Melody BeattieAn Interview Of Melody BeattieResearch on self-verification (SimplyPsychology.org and publicly available resources on Google)This is Part 1 of the codependency arc. Part 2 in Episode 21 will link ASD to Codependency closely, andthen in Episode 22 we'll suggest ways to walk the journey of codependency recovery. In upcoming episodes, we’ll move into gratitude, fellowship & mentorship, surrender, and grief — all essential stages on the path to emotional detachment and freedom.👉 Please follow the show and leave a 5-star review if this season resonates. It helps this content reach other women who need it.Disclaimer: I am not a medical, legal, or mental health professional. This podcast is based on lived experience. Please consult qualified professionals to determine what is appropriate for your situation.Stay with me through this season. It will get uncomfortable for sure. That's the whole point, I'm trying to help you get out of your own way so you can better hear what your lawyer is saying. I’m taking you on a journey. Follow the show so you can get all the episodes of Season 2.

Forgiveness is a tactical advantage. Once you're out of an abusive relationship, whether that's with a family member, a toxic work environment, etc, once you've handled your addiction to chaos so you don't go back, and you've found the right therapy for you in case you carry PTSD, next step is to think about Forgiveness. The 6 Items we think about when it comes to forgiveness, in this episode, are:What forgiveness is and what it is notForgive and Forget, really??? Forgiveness as a way of letting the hurt bear fruitForgiveness as a weapon of spiritual warfareForgiveness as a logical thing to do for autistic womenSecret and Juicy last item you will LOVE :) When we let go of the need for revenge, when we decide to let go of the emotional load, that's when we find Emotional Detachment, freedom and real impact. To go farther:The Christian Meaning of Suffering, on the Vatican's website.Another take on Forgiveness and Revenge by Stuff you Should KnowSeason 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage forFamily Court (starting with the addiction to chaos mini-series) is a Liberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly. Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any legal advice you may receive about family court, actually lands.DETACH, BABY, DETACH!Here is the order I recommend for your healing journey towards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself - the version that can actually win in court:First step is to think about not going back. There's a true addiction to chaos: Episode 15A, Episode 15B, Episode 16A, Episode 16B. You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18. Here we talk about Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. Your suffering must bear fruit, learning to forgive is one. The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency,Gratitude, Fellowship & Mentorship with the STAR Network,Surrender & GriefFollow the show so you can hear the entire season about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family CourtThis content is for general information and inspiration only. It is based on lived experience, on conversations had with others, and on deep research performed on publicly available information. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs. If you or someone you’re caring for is at risk of harm, please contact local emergency services or a trusted crisis service in your area.Keywords: autistic women, forgiving your abuser, forgiveness after abuse, how to forgive, how do I forgive, autistic brain, spiritual warfare, what is forgiveness, narcissistic abuse, forgiving the narcissist, freedom, forgiving as an autistic woman, emotional detachment, preparing for court, leaving an abusive relationship, ASD brain, letting go, how to let go, why should I forgive, reasons to forgive, resentment, christian meaning of suffering, domestic abuse, autism, ASD

Welcome back to Season 2 of Light in the Battle, a podcast for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse — and a spacewhere we become clearer, calmer, and spiritually and legally harder to mess with.In this episode, I share the 10 most significant ways EMDR therapy changed my life, from parenting and unmasking my autism, to emotional detachment, femininity, and finally performing better in family court.What I learned the hard way is this:Legal advice doesn’t land when emotions are running high.As long as survivors show up dysregulated — in emails, texts, police reports, or in front of a judge — they continue to be perceived as unstable, emotional, or unsafe, even when their concerns are valid. Courts are not trauma-informed. That reality doesn’t change. What can change is how we show up.EMDR was the turning point that allowed me to detach emotionally without detaching from my child’s wellbeing — and to finally play by the court’s rules in a way that made patterns undeniable.In this episode, I cover:How EMDR helped me speak calmly and precisely about what was done to meWhy emotional regulation is critical when dealing with police, courts, schools, and institutionsThe impact of EMDR on my parenting, advocacy, and sensory overwhelm as an autistic motherHow trauma fawning overlaps with autistic masking — and why EMDR made unmasking possible The return of softness, femininity, and quiet strength after CPTSDWhy forgiveness (not reconciliation) only became possible after trauma treatmentHow surrender becomes accessible once hypervigilance loosens its gripWhy emotional detachment is not indifference — it’s strategic, protective, and child-focusedHow EMDR changed my behavior long before I ever walked into a courtroomIf you’re new to EMDR, I strongly recommend starting with Episode 17, where I explain what EMDR is, the difference between traumatic memories and bad memories, and why this episode builds directly on that foundation.👉 Next in Season 2:Episode 19 — Forgiveness: What It Is, and Why It Does NOT Mean ReconciliationIf this season resonates, please follow the show and leave a review — it helps this content reach other women who need it. In Season 2, so far we've covered:The first step is to not go back. There's a true addiction to chaos: ⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠, Episode 16A, Episode 16B. You then want to work with a therapist and see if you have PTSD or CPTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18. You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. That's Episode 19. The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency,Gratitude,Fellowship & Mentorship with the STAR Network,Surrender & griefFollow the show so you can hear the entire season 2 about Emotional Detachment. Here is the link to the ⁠TED Talk by Brené Brown, on Vulnerability⁠ which I mention in this episode. Light in the Battle is where you come to think about how to heal from trauma, how to break the addiction to chaos, how to recover from narcissistic abuse or legal trauma, and about nervous system recovery. Disclaimer: I am not a medical, legal, or mental health professional. This podcast is based on lived experience. Please consult qualified professionals to determine what is appropriate for your situation.Take it one day at a time.Your only job today is to make it to tonight.Then you’ll do that again tomorrow.We’ll see you next week.

PTSD and CPTSD are common in survivors of narcissistic abuse and in their recovery. We find ourselves going into fight, flight, freeze or fawn. This is not helpful in parenting, let alone solo parenting with an ASD brain. It's also not helpful during the months leading up to a court hearing, and during the hearing itself. The nervous system has adapted to keep us safe, but once the chronic threat is gone, nervous system recovery means learning to let go of these maladaptive responses.So we look for trauma therapies for PTSD and CPTSD. Regular, "talk" therapy can be retraumatizing, whereas EMDR is a short, powerful, trauma-specific approach. EMDR is one of several options available to you to treat PTSD and CPTSD, so please work with your therapist to see what's best for your specific situation. All I know is that EMDR is the one that treated my CPTSD.In this Episode I explain what EMDR is, how it works, the difference between a traumatic memory and a bad memory, the timeline to clean out various traumatic memories, and I share a few heads up from my personal experience with EMDR.Please consider listening to this as well, Chronic Trauma and EMDR, to go deeper into EMDR and Trauma. In Episode 18 we will talk about 10 things that have dramatically changed in my life after I did EMDR, how it's helped me win in family court and better advocate for my child. Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court (starting with the "addiction to chaos" mini-series, Episode 15A to Episode 16B) is a Liberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly. Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any legal advice you obtain from your lawyer, or any advice coming from lived experience, about court prep, actually lands. DETACH, BABY, DETACH!Here is the order I recommend for your healing journey towards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself - the version that can actually win in court:First step is to not go back. I cover the Trauma Bond, a true addiction to chaos, in ⁠⁠⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Episode 16A⁠⁠, Episode 16B. You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD or CPTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18. You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. Forgiveness is not reconciliation. That's Episode 19. The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency, gratitude, fellowship & mentorship, surrender and grief.Follow the show so you can hear the entire Season 2 about Emotional Detachment. While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out ⁠⁠⁠Episode9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠⁠⁠⁠.Light in the Battle is where you come to think about how to heal from trauma, how to break the addiction to chaos, how to heal from narcissistic abuse, how to become the person you need to be in order to win a custody battle, and about nervous system recovery. This content is for general information and inspiration only. It reflects lived experience and summaries of publicly available research. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs.Keywords: Domestic violence, trauma recovery, PTSD, chronic trauma, CPTSD, childhood trauma, trauma triggers, nervous system recovery, how to heal the nervous system after trauma, emotional detachment, EMDR, EMDR therapy, how does EMDR therapy work, healing from trauma, trauma healing

We now need to bring the cortisol, adrenaline, dopamine levels back to normal. In this final episode about breaking the addiction to chaos, Faustina goes over 6 steps that worked for her, when she DECIDED to LEARN to enjoy peace. With compassion and understanding, with humour and Catholic faith, with small action steps that are easy to implement, she describes what has worked for her to bring the levels of the neurochemicals back to healthy levels and thereby, heal the trauma bond.Chaos and danger are a true neurochemical addiction. Faustina was able to overcome the trauma bond by inventing 6 steps for herself, based on her very basic understanding of things she found online. She goes over these steps as possible shortcuts in your recovery from narcissistic abuse, legal abuse, or any form of childhood trauma that may have wired your brain to crave chaos.Autistic women are particularly prone to this addiction, because they have a craving for predictability, patterns, the type you see in the cycle of abuse... Women with ASD are often more vulnerable to harmful relational patterns and can get pulled into cycles of instability very easily. These 6 steps to break the addiction to chaos incorporate a Catholic interpretation of why that peace feels foreign, despite God’s promise, “My peace I give you”. We stress the importance of the Rosary, the Eucharist, and Confession, as rhythm and structure. You can pray novenas for peace,novenas for protection, sure, but you should also learn about the science of addiction!Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court (starting with this "addiction to chaos"mini-series) is a Liberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly. Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any thoughts I may have about court prep actually land. DETACH, BABY, DETACH!Here is the order I recommend for your healing journeytowards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself - the version that can actually win in court:First step is to think about not going back. There's a true addiction to chaos:⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠, Episode 16A, Episode 16B. You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18. You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. That's Episode 19. The next things to think about in your emotional detachment journey, will be codependency,gratitude,fellowship & mentorship with the STAR Network, surrender & griefFollow the show so you can hear the entire Season 2 about Emotional Detachment. While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠Episode 9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.Light in the Battle is where you come to think about how toheal from trauma, how to break the addiction to chaos, how to recover from narcissistic abuse or legal trauma, and about nervous system recovery. This content is for general information and inspiration only. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional.To go deeper into the neurochemistry behind stress, overwhelm, and emotional intensity, Huberman’s episode “⁠⁠Tools for Managing Stress & Anxiety⁠⁠” expands on the dopamine, cortisol, and survival-mode loops.

"Why didn't she leave", you ask. "Why does she keep dating the same types of men over and over? When will she learn? "Sounds familiar? Don't we just love that judgment coming from uneducated, well-meaning people who are not familiar with the concept of trauma bonding.Well... It's biology. Childhood trauma and/or narcissistic abuse can create a true addiction in the brain. A trauma bond. This Episode is the logical next step in our Chaos Addiction Mini-Series, after Episode 15 A and Episode 15B, where we talked about how things feel and how we suffer from the boredom and the deafening silence that follow years of running on adrenaline, oxytocin and cortisol - but precisely, we didn't dive into the brain chemicals and the biology of addiction to chaos. Here, Faustina goes over:the various stress hormones involved in abusive relationships, (cortisol, adrenaline, dopamine and oxytocin)what that addiction may look like for autistic women,the unfortunate rewiring of the brain that makes it challenging for a narcissistic abuse survivor to settle away from chaos, how it feels when you really really want to get out but can't seem to, how that wiring can be healed, even when it comes from childhood,very concrete, ASD-friendly, actionable choices survivors on the spectrum can make to get those hormone levels back to normal, and build bridges away from chaos and towards peace. Please leave this show a 5* review.In 16B we will talk about concrete steps to normalize the levels of the neurochemicals we described here. More here about ⁠Trauma Bond Science⁠ with Darlene Lancer.Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court (starting with this "addiction to chaos" mini-series) is aLiberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly. Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any thoughts I may have about court prep actually land. DETACH, BABY, DETACH!Here is the order I recommend for your healing journey towards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself -the version that can actually win in court:First step is to not go back. There's a true addiction to chaos: ⁠⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠⁠, ⁠Episode 16A⁠, Episode 16B. You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD.For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18. You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development.That's Episode 19. The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency and gratitude. Follow the show so you can hear the entire Season 2 about Emotional Detachment. While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out ⁠⁠Episode9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠⁠⁠.Light in the Battle is where you come to think about how to heal from trauma, how to break the addiction to chaos, how to recover from narcissistic abuse, how to become the person you need to be in order to win a custody battle, and about nervous system recovery. This content is for general information and inspiration only. It reflects lived experience and summaries of publicly available research. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs.

"Why does this keep happening to me?" "Why do I keep attracting narcissists?" You choose to stop. With 6 ASD-friendly practical tips that Faustina used repeatedly in her journey of taming peace after years of running on adrenaline and cortisol, we can slowly familiarize ourselves with our new life. Whether that's getting out of domestic violence, healing from narcissistic abuse, or winning a custody battle in family court, there's going to be a point where things will stop being a constant threat, a constant chaos loop. And your brain won't like it if you're trauma bonded. So here are 6 trauma informed, practical ways that you teach your brain to enjoy the quiet after the storm, so you can settle into it, and change the course of your life - one day at a time!Addiction to chaos is a real thing. It's called a trauma bond. In this episode we get practical with 6 mindset shifts and day-to-day habits that may help us not dive head first into another problem, another abusive relationship, another overwhelming situation. In the next episode we nerd out on the hormones in the brain that drive that addiction, and how we can help normalize those hormone levels. I want to point you to one of my biggest pillars in my trauma recovery, Dr. Ramani, who teaches from a more authoritative perspective, things you need to know about narcissism, NPD, and about recovery. The content in this podcast is for general information and education only. It reflects lived experience and summaries of publicly available research. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs.Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court (starting with this "addiction to chaos" mini-series) is aLiberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly. Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any thoughts I may share about court prep actually land. DETACH, BABY, DETACH!Here is the order I recommend for your healing journey towards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself -the version that can actually win in court:First step is to not go back. There's a true addiction to chaos: ⁠⁠Episode 15A⁠⁠, ⁠⁠Episode15B⁠⁠, Episode 16A, Episode 16B. You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD.For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18. You then want to see Forgiveness as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development.That's Episode 19. The next things to think about in your liberation and in reclaiming your dignity, will be codependency,Gratitude,We'll also cover Fellowship & Mentorship with the STAR NetworkSurrender and GriefFollow the show so you can hear the entire Season 2 about Emotional Detachment. While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out ⁠Episode9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠⁠. 

Through the story of winning a custody battle, despite what felt like years of legal intimidation and harassment, Faustina shows an example of what addiction to chaos looks and feels like. Winning in family court after many years of feeling unseen and misunderstood by a legal system that isn’t trauma-informed, completely stunned her like a deer in the headlights. We discuss the fact that calm can feel threatening, that trauma wires your nervous system to seek more chaos, why peace showing up abruptly can be destabilizing, in order to plant the scenery for Episode 15-B where we will list 6 practical Tips to retrain the body to feel safe again. This mini-series about the addiction to chaos for trauma survivors, sets the stage for a deeper analysis about Emotional Detachment after narcissistic abuse.A story most single moms who have left relationships that felt narcissistic, intimidating and confusing, and who are carrying relationship or childhood trauma, and suddenly find themselves forced to adjust to some level of peace, will relate to. Faustina suggests we start thinking about surrender with the words, "Be still and know that I am God" as a great mantra for the transition out of chaos and into peace. Surrender is one of the mindset shifts that she built her newfound freedom around.After this practical description of behaviors and feelings, in Episodes 16A and 16B we then dive into the neurochemical aspect of the addiction to chaos, talk about the stress hormones, and suggest ways to get the neurochemical levels back to normal. Season 2, Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, starting right here with the "addiction to chaos" mini-series is a Liberation Series that suggests things to look into as you rebuild yourself, so that you can become the version of yourself that is so detached emotionally, that you can prepare for family court correctly. Emotional detachment is where I want to help you get to, so that any recommendations I may have for court prep actually land. DETACH, BABY, DETACH!Here is the order I recommend for your healing journey towards emotional freedom, as you work to become a new version of yourself -the version that can actually win in court:First step is to think about not going back. There's a true addiction to chaos: ⁠Episode 15A⁠, ⁠Episode15B⁠, Episode 16A, Episode 16B. You then want to work with a therapist and see if you carry PTSD, and what types of therapy will help you heal the PTSD. For me, it was EMDR: Episode 17, Episode 18. You then want to see Forgiveness (not reconciliation!) as a tactical advantage and as a massive step in your personal development. That's Episode 19. Then Codependency, Gratitude, Fellowship & Mentorship, Surrender & Grief. Follow the show so you can hear the entire season 2 about Emotional Detachment. While you wait for the entire season 2 to come out about Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court, check out Episode 9: The Court Date you Can't Stop Thinking About - Breaking the Anxiety Spiral⁠.KEYWORDSautistic single mom, narcissistic abuse recovery, trauma healing, nervous system regulation, custody battle, trauma bond, chaos addiction, addiction to chaos, life transition, NPD, ASD, Catholicism, court trauma, court battle, win a custody battle, healing from narcissistic abuse, trauma responses, high-conflict co-parenting, healing after abuse, emotional safety, breaking trauma patterns, Mental Health, Parenting, Self-Improvement, Trauma, Catholic Faith, Rosary, Jesus, spiritual warfare, demonic aspect of a court battle, legal abuseThis content is for general information and education only. It reflects lived experience and summaries of publicly available research. It is not medical, mental‑health, legal, or professional advice, and it isn’t a substitute for advice tailored to your situation. Please seek support from a qualified professional who understands your needs.

After abuse, peace can feel wrong. After years of chaos and survival, calm can make your body panic — because silence used to mean danger.In this episode, Faustina explains why calm feels unsafe and how to rebuild your nervous system’s trust in quiet. With simple grounding tools and sensory-aware examples, she shows how “micro-calm” moments can rewire your sense of safety over time.For mothers recovering from trauma, navigating co-parenting, or living with ADHD or autism, this episode offers realistic, no-pressure steps toward peace that lasts.Keywords: PTSD healing, nervous system regulation, parenting after abuse, hypervigilance, neurodivergent mom, neurodivergent mother

Healing doesn’t mean life gets quiet. It means you learn how to find stillness inside the noise. In this reflection, Faustina shares how she practices calm in real moments — reading court emails, managing meltdowns, or feeling her body’s old panic rise up. This isn’t about perfection or pretending to be all good. It’s about creating small pauses that remind your nervous system: “We’re safe now.”If you've ever wondered how to stay centered in chaos, or how to stay calm when life gets crazy, this episode is for you.For single mothers healing from trauma or in the thick of high-conflict co-parenting, this episode offers practical ways to build real emotional safety, one small grounding practice at a time.For farther information on finding safety in your body, you may consider this episode here, by the SelfHealers Soundboard: How To Create Safety in Your Body.keywords: trauma recovery, co-parenting, mindfulness, trauma, parenting during abuse, single mother, finding peace, how to be happy

When you leave what feels like an abusive relationship and become a single parent, healing takes on a new shape. In this quiet reflection, Faustina shares how leaving a relationship that felt violent, manipulative and destructive during pregnancy opened the door to clarity — and how her child’s emotions later became mirrors of her own unhealed pain.This episode explores the real experience of parenting after trauma: the body memories, the panic, and the work of re-teaching yourself safety while caring for a child who depends on your calm.Light in the Battle is a space for single mothers rebuilding after emotional abuse, finding peace, and learning to parent with ASD. If you've enjoyed this, you'll want to follow up with Episode 5, Finding Stillness in the Battle - How to Stay Centered When Life Won’t Slow Down#parentingaftertrauma #gentlemotherhood #healingjourney #PTSD #emotionalregulation

Detachment isn’t easy when your body is still in survival mode.In this reflection, Faustina talks about what it’s really like to learn emotional detachment after trauma — when PTSD and panic make “staying calm” feel impossible amongst the craziness. Through her experience with EMDR and nervous system healing, she shares how true detachment isn’t about going numb, but about helping your body believe it’s finally safe.For single mothers navigating co-parenting, high-conflict relationships, or life after emotional abuse patterns, this episode offers gentle, practical reminders that peace is something you grow into, but cannot force.Keywords: trauma recovery, PTSD, EMDR, parenting after abuse, nervous system healing, emotional regulation, co-parenting, detachment, healing journey, single mother

How do you keep the faith when everything falls apart? How do you keep believing in a good God, when that God allowed all this to happen? When logic fails and the path disappears, faith becomes the thread that holds us together. In this episode of Light in the Battle, Faustina reflects on trusting God when nothing makes sense—learning to surrender control, find calm in motherhood, and believe that God’s presence is constant even in pain.A gentle reminder for Catholic mothers walking through uncertainty, raising children after trauma, and rebuilding peace through prayer.Keywords: faith, trust in God, Christian parenting, healing after trauma, motherhood, peace, surrender, resilience, spiritual growth, trust in Jesus, listening to God's voice

Life can feel like a battle—especially for single mothers navigating co-parenting, trauma, or spiritual warfare. In this first reflection from Light in the Battle, Faustina shares gentle words on finding peace, faith, and emotional resilience when chaos surrounds you.A quiet Christian meditation for autistic women healing from narcissistic abuse, solo parenting through hard seasons, and learning to let God fight for them.Keywords: faith, Christian motherhood, narcissistic abuse recovery, peace in chaos, co-parenting, healing, trauma, God’s presence

Welcome to Light in the Battle, one of the rare AI-free resources available. I'm Faustina, I'm an autistic single mom with a PDA child on the spectrum, I'm healing from narcissistic abuse patterns, I'm winning in court and I'm doing it all without a safety net. I'm here to talk about my lived-experience, and to share battle-tested approaches to finding Light in the Battle despite the ASD, the difficult coparenting, the legal costs and the crushing weight of it all.If you're anything like me, your reality's not going to change. How to find peace in the chaos? How do you adjust to an autism diagnosis? How do you learn to coparent in high-conflict dynamics? You *choose* to find Peace and Joy in the midst of chaos. I hope my reflections help you get there, one day at a time. Light in the Battle is a Catholic space where we learn how to win in family court, how to soothe the nervous system, how to recover from PSTD, how to parent a neurodivergent child all the while honoring your own autism as a single mom.

This Episode I'm positioning as a "break" in the middle of Season 2, "Emotional Detachment as a Tactical Advantage for Family Court" which covers trauma recovery, CPTSD, forgiveness, gratitude, the trauma bond, etc. Maybe it's my autism but I feel the need to explain myself :) Why I'm here, whom I'm speaking to and what I can do for you. I'm Faustina, I'm a single mom on the spectrum raising a PDA child, healing from narcissistic abuse and winning in court despite confusing dynamics. I'm doing it all without a husband, without a safety net and I'm carrying 99% of the parenting load. Just me, my kid, my dog, and Jesus. If you also feel like there are no other spaces that talk about all of this stuff TOGETHER then I'm your girl. I am no longer in the thick of it, I went to EMDR therapy for PTSD, I did the work to soothe the nervous system, so I can speak clearly. But it's still fresh. I'm not speaking about topics that have been in the rear view mirror for many years. I am and always will be autistic, raising a PDA child, in a high-conflict coparenting dynamic, and leaning on God for my spiritual battle and the demonic aspects of dealing with narcissistic patterns of behaviour. My intention is to inspire others to find moments of joy in their day-to-day.