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What's a disagreement you can’t get out of your head? When We Disagree highlights the arguments that stuck with us, one story at a time.
117 Episodes
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What does it mean for a group of people to be "positively," "negatively," "accurately," or "inaccurately" represented in media? Ed Schiappa has spent quite some time thinking about these questions, and his research complicates what many think of as a "good" representation. Tell us your argument stories! Email guest and topic suggestions to us at whenwedisagree@gmail.com Follow us on Instagram
Angel Grant, co-founder of Death Over Dinner and Drugs Over Dinner, opens up about a rare moment when she broke her own conflict guidelines. A longtime meditation teacher and trauma practitioner influenced by Gabor Maté, Angel describes what it means to be “emotionally drunk," reacting from undigested pain rather than present reality. She explores how old reservoirs of fear, anger, and humiliation hijack our relationships, and why real freedom means expanding our capacity to sit with the sens...
After a magical day of food, wine, and instant connection with a new friend, Tina Singleton made one political comment that shattered it all. In this candid conversation, the founder of Transformation Table reflects on how a single rant cost her a budding friendship and what it taught her about ego, humility, and the fragility of connection. Inspired by a call from Bernice King after the tragedy at Mother Emanuel AME Church, Tina has spent years bringing strangers together over meals to pract...
Trey Gowdy, former prosecutor and congressman and current author and host of Sunday Night in America on Fox News, reflects on why the ouster of his friend former Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy in 2023 still bothers him and what it reveals about modern politics. McCarthy was the first Speaker to be removed by a "motion to vacate" in US history. Gowdy argues that a small faction of attention-seekers undermined majority rule and rewarded disloyalty over leadership. Gowdy traces how narrow m...
Philosopher and interfaith scholar at the University of Denver, Sarah Pessin, has written quite a bit about common ground, shared humanity, and what she calls "hard hope." And, she keeps returning to a poignant yet awkward moment she had on a bus as she thinks about the possibilities of connection in a polarized world. The bus driver that day gave an unexpected sermon to his captive audience of passengers. moment from her graduate days at , when her bus driver unexpectedly preached to a silen...
Fairmont State University President Mike Davis joins When We Disagree to tell a story about being wrong and how it changed him. After discouraging a young colleague from pursuing her dream of becoming a pilot, he realized he was giving advice she never asked for and learned the power of listening instead. The experience reshaped how he mentors students and leads a college campus, shifting his focus from directing people’s paths to helping them discover their own. This conversation shows why a...
Graham Bullock, political scientist and director of the Deliberative Citizenship Initiative at Davidson College, joins When We Disagree to explain how meaningful dialogue can break free from today’s “polarization vortex.” He shares how structured, intergenerational conversations about complicated topics can turn simple political binaries into rich, multi-perspective debates. Graham introduces “deliberative dispositions” like humility, courage, empathy, and curiosity as the foundation of healt...
What does civility demand when justice is costly and deeply personal? Alexandra Hudson, author of The Soul of Civility and founder of Civic Renaissance, shares a raw story about how being scammed sparked both a lengthy legal battle and a profound disagreement with her husband over whether to fight or walk away. Through that conflict, Hudson wrestles with whether civility means politeness or principled confrontation, and what it costs our families when moral crusades take over our lives. The e...
Jason Caplan, founder of the Bridge Institute, recalls an interfaith discussion that left him frustrated by religious gridlock. He was convinced that arguing scripture wasn’t bringing anyone closer. His response was radical simplicity: stop debating beliefs and start making music together. Caplan explains how music creates a frictionless form of dialogue that bypasses defensiveness, builds trust, and lays the groundwork for healthier debate later. From synagogues to summer camps to universiti...
Communication scholar and local elected official, Rebecca Townsend, revisits a strange and revealing moment in the 1990s when a small Massachusetts town debated Nigeria’s military policy. That's right - a small New England town debated what Nigeria should do with its military. What began as a human-rights-driven divestment effort in the town spiraled into thorny question: who gets to speak for whom? When does solidarity slide into paternalism or even colonialism? The conversation lands on a h...
What happens when a classroom discussion about immigration sparks not one argument, but several...plus a disagreement inside the professor herself? In this episode, Dickinson College professor Noreen Lape recounts a tense moment in her “How to Be Disagreeable” course that forced her to confront emotion, miscommunication, and the limits of control in dialogue-heavy classrooms. The conversation explores the crucial difference between intellectual discomfort and psychological triggering, and why...
What happens when “iron sharpens iron” turns into something more damaging? Timothy Shaffer, the Stavros Niarchos Foundation Chair of Civil Discourse and director of the SNF Ithaca Initiative at the University of Delaware, recounts a tense, unexpectedly explosive thesis defense that left a student in tears and a faculty committee in conflict. The conversation explores where productive intellectual challenge crosses the line into accusation, ego, and harm. Shaffer argues that the real wor...
Lori Britt, communication scholar and director of the Institute for Constructive Advocacy & Dialogue at James Madison University, shares how a deeply controversial community forum on marriage equality became a model for what productive disagreement can actually look like. From clashing colleagues and nervous speakers to media pressure and generational divides, she walks us through the hidden conflicts behind designing dialogue that doesn’t just talk at people, but invites them in. Lori ar...
Trained to resolve conflict and build bridges, Janett Cordoves, the senior program director at the Institute for Citizens and Scholars, walked into her first job believing every disagreement can be fixed. She was faced with a supervisor who was immune to every tool she learned. What started as micromanagement turned into credit-taking, control, and a painful realization that good faith alone could not save a toxic relationship. Forced to choose between endless engagement and self-respec...
Elizabeth Matto, director of Rutgers’ Eagleton Institute of Politics, traces a peaceful family disagreement over voting rights into a deeper debate about whether voting is a right or a privilege. Drawing on research, teaching, and lived experience, she argues that even when voting is legally a right, structural barriers often turn it into a privilege for those with time, resources, and civic know-how. This conversation unpacks false narratives around voter access, education, patriotism, and t...
Alys Campaigne, the Southern Environmental Law Center's climate initiative leader, reflects on three decades of climate advcocacy, where the same arguments keep resurfacing even as the impacts grow impossible to ignore. She explains how real progress happens when we drop polarizing labels, make the issue local and personal, and help people see how climate solutions connect to their daily lives, wallets, and communities. Campaigne exposes the role of coordinated disinformation while showing wh...
Derick Brown, the chief advancement and strategic partnerships officer of the YMCA of San Francisco, shares the life-changing argument that pushed him from telling teens to pursue college…to enrolling himself the very next morning. In this gripping story about credibility, leadership, and “walking the walk,” Derick traces how ten blunt words from his students transformed his career, purpose, and commitment to public service. From the Boys & Girls Club to UC Berkeley to leading civic-engag...
Leila Brammer, the curriculum director for the Forum for Free Inquiry and Expression at the University of Chicago, used to defend competitive two-sided debate as an educational tool. She now argues that such debates can limit deep, long-term critical thinking. She argues that debate’s binary structure encourages polarization rather than understanding complicated issues with many points of view. Brammer highlights alternative models that require students to gather multiple perspectives, work t...
Dan McCarthy, who edits Modern Age, thinks that what many believe to be “good” democratic citizenship is completely unrealistic. He challenges the idea that voters need expert-level knowledge and instead argues that elections are really judgments about whether life is getting better or worse. Along the way, he exposes the tension between intellectual elites and ordinary voters and why humility might be the missing ingredient in our politics. It’s a sharp, provocative conversation about expert...
During this holiday season, we are re-releasing some of our most popular episodes about conflict in relationships from the archive. A Thanksgiving blowup in 1989 shattered one family and shaped a lifetime of how sociologist Heath Hoffman understands conflict. In this raw and candid conversation, Hoffman traces how antagonism, avoidance, and inherited communication habits echo into adulthood. He opens up about wrestling with his own “uncivil” tendencies, the shame that follows, and why silence...
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