Claim OwnershipReflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell
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© 2026 Reflect Reclaim & Liberate - with Sallyanne Hartnell
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A podcast covering all things relationships, separation and divorce.
Creating healthy, happy, fulfilling relationships without sacrificing any part of yourself.
Supporting anyone feeling challenged in their relationship or marriage.
Confidential conversations for you if you’re navigating separation, divorce or reorganising life afterwards.
Decide whether to stay or leave a relationship or marriage.
Divorce with less drama.
Consciously choose what's next for you.
209 Episodes
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Send us Fan Mail This episode started with a small, ordinary moment — someone I love asking me to write down the recipes I've cooked for my family across the years. The problem? Most of them don't really exist. Not properly. They've always been instinct. Memory. A bit of this, a bit of that. Adjusted every time. And it got me thinking about life after divorce. Because we carry this quiet pressure, don't we? This belief that there's a right way to rebuild. A correct order. A formula that every...
Send us Fan Mail We talk a lot about what we become after divorce. Stronger. More independent. A "new version" of ourselves. But what if the real shift isn't about becoming anything at all? In this episode I reflect on something that doesn't get talked about enough. The quiet, sometimes disorienting process of unbecoming. Shedding the roles you played. The expectations you carried. The version of yourself you shaped - often slowly, often unconsciously - to make a relationship work. Beca...
Send us Fan Mail There comes a moment in many relationships when you ask yourself: “Am I ever going to be enough for them?” It’s not always about insecurity or worthiness. Sometimes, it’s about exhaustion. Exhaustion from trying harder. Exhaustion from hoping you’ll be met. Doing all the emotional labour. From reshaping yourself to make the relationship work. For years, we can bend, accommodate, and compromise, believing that if we just love harder, try harder, or adjust ourselves enoug...
Send us Fan Mail A guided companion to help you disentangle after divorce. Loosen attachment, ease your anxiety around decisions - those already made or yet to be made - reclaim yourself, and move forward with clarity. You don’t have to “get over” your ex. You don’t have to force "closure". You’re not doing it wrong, or behind. Sometimes the best way to move forward is to ask better questions. In this bonus episode, I guide you through 36 questions to help you: See the relationship clea...
Send us Fan Mail When the relationship is over but the attachment isn’t - and why it’s harder than you think, even if you chose it. Why is it so hard to move on after divorce, even when you know it was the right decision? Why do you still miss them… question yourself… replay the good moments… or wonder if you made a mistake? In this episode, we explore the emotional reality no one prepares you for: The relationship can be over in every way - legally, practically, logically, romantically, sexu...
Send us Fan Mail COURAGE. CONNECTION. JOY. What happens when you step outside your comfort zone can transform your post-divorce life more than any legal document or co-parenting plan ever could. In this episode of RR&L, I share a personal story of stepping outside my comfort zone, into new spaces, meeting strangers, and discovering the connection, joy, and possibility that waits on the other side. Whether you’re wondering if you’re brave enough to leave a marriage, navigating separa...
Send us Fan Mail Leaving a long-term relationship is more than just a breakup. It’s a complete reset. You’ve invested years of your life - and now you’re navigating a new space, a new version of life, unsure who you are without them. In this episode, we talk about the hard truths of starting over: The emotions no one warns you aboutRediscovering your identity and reclaiming your lifeWhat it really takes to rebuild, redefine, and restart after years of shared history If you’re stepping ...
Send us Fan Mail You can be deeply hurt and still have work to do. Even if your partner left, had an affair, blindsided you, or if you were the one who chose to end the relationship, even if you know it was the right choice. In this episode, we talk about what radical personal responsibility really means, why it doesn’t equal blame or shame, and how facing your own patterns can free you from repeating them. Learn how to: Take ownership without self-judgmentHeal in a real, embodied way (...
Send us Fan Mail NB - language warning for this one. There’s a few F💣 In this episode, I share a client story about what happened when an unexpected message from an ex arrived around Christmas, and tipped something she thought was healed. I share the process we used together to slow it down, name what had been activated, and write a response that was honest rather than “nice.” I talk through: Why messages from ex-partners can land so powerfully, even years laterWriting a polite reply versus a...
Send us Fan Mail In this final episode of the year, I’m sharing a powerful set of reflection questions to help you look back with compassion, honour your growth, and step into 2026 with clarity and intention. Whether you’re navigating separation, divorce, co-parenting, identity shifts, or simply a season of change, these reflecton prompts will help you understand yourself more deeply, release what no longer serves you, and choose what comes next. Reflect. Release. Reset. Download your copy ...
Send us Fan Mail In this episode, we explore the moment you quietly realise you can’t carry the relationship alone anymore. You’ll hear: • What the “quiet exit” actually looks like • How belief without change becomes burnout • Why hope without action becomes a cage • The moment you stop trusting in his potential and start loving yourself more • What to do when you’ve been over-functioning to his under-functioning • The next steps when you're done, tired, an...
Send us Fan Mail In this episode, Sallyanne talks about the activating or triggering comments that can come your way during separation or divorce. Even before you separate. You’ll learn practical, grounded ways to respond (rather than react) without spiralling, without defending yourself, and without giving away your power. We explore: • Why these comments land so deeply • How to separate their words from your worth • Clear, simple boundary-based responses you can use...
Send us Fan Mail Things I’ve Learned Solo Travelling Since My Divorce Solo travel after divorce hits differently. It’s equal parts freedom and fear, excitement and vulnerability. You’re no longer part of a “we,” and sometimes, that absence echoes but there’s also something quietly powerful about that. You’re choosing yourself. Your own adventure. Your own rhythm. In this episode I share a few things I’ve learned solo travelling since my divorce - things that made the experience richer, eas...
Send us Fan Mail What I Know About Divorce Now, That You Can't Know Yet. In this episode, I share everything I know about life after divorce that you simply can’t know until you live it. My own lived experience and that of my clients. From the duality of grief and gratitude, to the quiet freedoms and small joys that only come when you reclaim your life, this is a reflection on integration, self-compassion, and choosing yourself. What I would have done more and less of, the lessons I w...
Send us Fan Mail Are you wondering whether to stay in your relationship? Or thinking about finally leaving your marriage? Often my clients come to me questioning “good enough” relationships where nothing feels catastrophically or dramatically wrong, but something still feels off. In this episode, I lead you through 10 powerful questions designed to help you see clearly whether your relationship is serving your growth, your happiness, and your future. If you’re stuck in indecision, this episod...
Send us Fan Mail Navigating separation, uncertainty, and emotional overload during the holidays — without guilt, shame, or pressure. The holidays are supposed to be a wonderful joyful time of the year. But what if your relationship is falling apart, already over, or hanging by a thread? In this episode, Sallyanne talks honestly about the emotional weight of Christmas when you’re navigating separation, divorce, or deep relationship doubt. We unpack the pressure of holiday “shoulds” - the e...
Send us Fan Mail Wondering whether to stay or leave a marriage? Thinking about separation or divorce? When you’re sitting in uncertainty, it’s easy to overthink. To rely on our head to bring us to a decision. But clarity doesn’t come from thinking harder. It comes from alignment. In this episode, Sallyanne unpacks the three decision centres - the head, the heart, and the gut - and shares a simple practice to help you bring all three into conversation before making your next big (or small) dec...
Send us Fan Mail Clarissa Rayward is a wife, mum to two, accredited specialist family lawyer, and lover of chocolate, coffee, and anything colourful and also the Director of Brisbane Family Law Centre, a multidisciplinary practice where lawyers work alongside counsellors and financial experts to provide holistic support to clients navigating divorce and separation. Connect with Clarissa: Website Instagram Splitsville Book Sallyanne Hartnell - Divorce Coach & Strategist How you can wor...
Send us Fan Mail Thinking you "should" be over it by now? You're not behind or doing things wrong. Your nervous system just hasn’t caught up yet. In this episode, I share why healing from divorce, infidelity or separation takes more than time, and what your body actually needs to feel safe again. Drawing from neuroscience and nervous system wisdom, I explore how you can start giving yourself the proof your body needs to believe: it’s over. You’re safe. You’re home now. Tune in to hear: Why ...
Send us Fan Mail Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban’s relationship has been splashed across headlines lately, with speculation about separation, divorce, and division of assets. But... their relationship - whether they stay together, separate, or divorce - is none of our business. And yet, the way the media frames these stories reveals how we expect divorce to look: messy, high conflict, destructive. But what if it isn’t? What if separation can be kind? Respectful? Even collaborative? In this ep...
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