In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo share real, honest, and practical ways to improve communication and relationships, especially during holiday gatherings. They recount personal anecdotes about family holiday experiences, discuss how to manage expectations, and tackle hard conversations around politics, religion, and personal life choices. The hosts emphasize emotional boundaries, curiosity, and connection. Key concepts from Brene Brown's “Rising Strong” and “Braving the Wilderness” are explored, focusing on managing emotions, handling conflict, and maintaining authentic interactions. The episode wraps up with practical tips and the importance of focusing on the bigger picture to enjoy a peaceful and meaningful holiday season. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts : Dr. Brene Brown, Dr. Marc Brackett, Dr. Chandra Resources : Rising Strong by Dr. Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/book/rising-strong/ Braving Wilderness by Dr. Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/book/braving-the-wilderness/ Permission to Feel by Dr. Marc Brackett: https://marcbrackett.com/permission-to-feel/ Navigating Difficult People and Opinions During the Holiday by Dr. Chandra: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-pacific-heart/201711/navigating-difficult-people-and-opinions-during-the-holidays
In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo welcome back licensed therapist Vanessa Trine, known for her expertise in anxiety disorders and trauma. Vanessa shares practical ways to handle holiday stress and anxiety, offering insights into maintaining balanced communication and setting boundaries. From discussing the difference between normal holiday stress and anxiety disorders to offering strategies for supporting partners and children during family gatherings, this episode is packed with helpful advice. Vanessa also introduces useful resources like the “Support Deck” and her “Creating Calm” anxiety relief course. Tune in for an honest and actionable guide to navigating the holiday season with a healthier mindset. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts : Vanessa Trine, LPPC Resources : Support Deck: Therapeutic Practices to Help you Manage Big Feelings https://odddaughterpaper.com/products/support-deck Anxiety Course: Creating Calm - Anxiety Relief for anyone, anytime, anywhere https://www.theprocesswellnesscollective.com/creatingcalm-course Links : AFAF Episode 62: AFAF with Vanessa Trine on Anxiety and How It Translates Into the Body https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/062-afaf-with-vanessa-trine-on-anxiety-and-how/id1552837876?i=1000581539779 Vanessa Trine’s Website: https://www.vanessatrine.com
In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo delve into the dynamics of introducing a new partner to your family during the holidays. From deciding if your relationship is ready to tackling family traditions and expectations, this episode covers the practical steps and research-backed strategies to ensure the introduction goes smoothly. Learn how to prepare both your partner and your family, manage emotional climates, and debrief effectively post-visit to strengthen your relationship. Grab your cocoa and fluffy socks and tune in for essential tips on creating a supportive and harmonious holiday season. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts : Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Brene Brown Resources : Plamondon, A., & Lachance‐Grzela, M. (2018). What if they are right? Network approval, expectations, and relationship maintenance behaviors. Personal Relationships, 25(2), 190–204. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-18967-001 DePaulo, B. (2022, December 23). The thrill of going to holiday parties alone. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202212/the-thrill-of-going-to-holiday-parties-alone Psychology Today: Should You Meet Your Partner’s Family? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201312/should-you-meet-your-partners-family
In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo discuss the holiday pressures of gift-giving. They share insights on finding meaningful and thoughtful gifts, the impact of mismatched gifts, and how to avoid financial stress during the holidays. The conversation explores the importance of communication and relationships, practical gift ideas, and the benefits of generosity for both the giver and the receiver. Tune in for tips on how to make your holiday gifting more thoughtful and less stressful. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Resources : Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer https://milkweed.org/book/braiding-sweetgrass The Psychology of Gifting https://www.reachdesk.com/blog/the-psychology-of-gifting-how-giving-drives-stronger-business-relationships The Psychology of Giving: Money and Generosity https://team.monetagroup.com/the-psychology-of-giving-money-and-generosity/ Dr Orna - Interview Clip - why talking about money is difficult (1:22) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKgB41pMf-s
In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo explore the profound impact of appearance on personal and professional relationships. From the concept of “pretty privilege” to the influence of grooming and scent, they delve into how your look can shape perceptions and opportunities. The discussion includes insights on confidence, the balance between natural beauty and grooming, and the societal biases tied to physical attributes. Listen in as they share practical advice on controlling aspects of your appearance to make positive first impressions and achieve your goals. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Resources : Beauty and the Labor Market: Accounting for the Additional Effects of Personality and Grooming (Robins, Homer & French, 2011) https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1467-9914.2010.00511.x The Role of Fragrance and Self-esteem in Perception of Body Odors and Impressions of Others https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8592444/ Links : AFAF Episode #95: Can't Touch This! The Power of Nonverbal Touch https://youtu.be/4uMLVaXXDQg AFAF Episode #99: I Don't Like Your Tone! The Power of Nonverbal Paralanguage https://youtu.be/Bpyaqgug-XQ
In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo discuss the importance of editing our speech and the adage, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." They explore the impact of words on relationships and communication, providing insights into when silence is more beneficial than speaking. The conversation touches on practical tools for better communication, the power of curiosity and creativity in speech, and the need to avoid judgmental tendencies. Tune in for practical advice on managing the power of words and improving your relationships. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts : Dr. Newberg, Dr. Waldman, Dr. Puff, Dr. Segal Resources : Newberg and Waldman’s Book: Words Can Change Your Brain https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/309487/words-can-change-your-brain-by-andrew-newberg-md-and-mark-robert-waldman/ Dr. Puff’s Article: The Power of Our Words https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meditation-for-modern-life/202301/the-power-of-our-words Dr. Segal’s Article: What We Say Matters https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-empathy/201810/what-we-say-matters
In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo explore practical ways to enhance communication and strengthen relationships among adult siblings. They discuss common challenges such as dealing with aging parents, inheritance conflicts, feeling left out, and more. The hosts emphasize the importance of employing softer startups, repair attempts, and collaborative efforts. They reveal strategies to break old patterns and foster healthier interactions, focusing on curiosity, clear communication, and setting boundaries. Tune in for valuable tips on navigating complex sibling dynamics in your adult life. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts : Dr. Karl Pillemer, Stockner et al., Dr. John Gottman, Jeffrey Kluger Resources : Journal of Family Psychology Article by Stockner, et al. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7012710/ Dr. Karl Pillemer’s Book - Fault Lines https://www.karlpillemer.com/ Dr. John Gottman https://www.gottman.com/ Jeffrey Kluger from his TED Talk on the Sibling Bond https://ed.ted.com/lessons/jLvoMSWT
In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo dive deep into the complexities of adult sibling relationships. This episode responds to previous discussions about relationships with aging parents and transitions into exploring the significance of sibling relationships in adulthood. Topics include the causes of strain, communication patterns, and the importance of these non-voluntary relationships. The hosts also share personal stories and research insights, setting the stage for the next episode, which will provide practical tools for managing and improving sibling dynamics. Tune in for real, honest, and practical advice to better your relationships! Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts : Dr. Karl Pillemer, Stockner et al., Dr. John Gottman, Jeffrey Kluger Resources : Journal of Family Psychology Article by Stockner, et al. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7012710/ Dr. Karl Pillemer’s Book - Fault Lines https://www.karlpillemer.com/ Dr. John Gottman https://www.gottman.com/ Jeffrey Kluger from his TED Talk on the Sibling Bond “Our parents leave us too early, our spouses and children come along too late. Our siblings are the only ones who are with us for the entire ride". (Kluger)
In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo are joined by Jason Harper, a professional mediator specializing in employment and special education. Jason shares his journey into mediation, the challenges of being a special education mediator, and the strategies he employs to manage difficult conversations involving parents and schools. The discussion also delves into how parents can model healthy conflict resolution for their children, manage their own emotions during conflicts, and foster better communication skills in their kids through role-playing and guided interventions. Dr. Pamela Kreiser and her co-hosts provide additional insights on remaining a safe space for children to discuss conflicts and emphasize the importance of staying engaged in conversations about their interests. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Resources : Mediator Jason Harper https://www.hcrservices.com Links to Episode #30: AFAF with Jason Harper on How to Resolve Conflict https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/YWZhZnBvZGNhc3QucG9kYmVhbi5jb20vOTYxMWNiZDQtNzJiNC0zODYwLWEzNjQtNGUxMjczOWZmZTAw
In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo explore the challenges of adulting as both you and your parents age. The hosts explore practical strategies for setting boundaries, handling unsolicited advice, and maintaining healthy communication with older parents. Through humor and insightful discussions, they address common scenarios like unannounced visits and over-involvement, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and evolving relationships. Tune in for a light-hearted yet informative quiz, expert advice, and real-life examples to improve your relationship dynamics as an adult child. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts : Dr. John Gottman Resource : Gottman Institute https://www.gottman.com/ Links : #020: Myths of Boundaries https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/c6b431c4b18335a1759db7588986fd0d #021: Boundaries 101 - How to Say No! https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/8dc8625be3a918b62f8c9d16a1f888f9 #022: Managing Boundaries: How to Manage Difficult People https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/04a05256443fa4baabf2b3dcbfcc32d9
In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo discuss the impact of assumptions on relationships and provide practical tools to replace these assumptions with clarity. Through real-life examples, they explore how silent assumptions can fuel misunderstandings and share strategies for fostering open communication and trust. Learn how to avoid common pitfalls like judging intentions, predicting behavior based on past actions, and failing to communicate expectations. Discover the importance of asking clarifying questions and using Brene Brown's technique,”the story I'm telling myself,” to improve your relationships. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts : Dr. Brene Brown, Esther Perel Resources : Dare to Lead by Dr. Brene Brown https://brenebrown.com/hubs/dare-to-lead/ Esther Perel https://www.estherperel.com
In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo explore the art of giving feedback. Reflecting on the discomfort of receiving harsh feedback, they present two effective strategies for providing constructive criticism without triggering defensive reactions— the Positive Feedback Sandwich and the Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) technique. Alongside discussing research insights from Gottman and the Harvard Business Review, the hosts offer practical examples and scenarios to illustrate these strategies in action, aiming to improve communication and relationships. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts : Dr. John Gottman Resources : Harvard Business Review Tools : Positive Feedback Sandwich (Mary Kay Ash) 3-part formula: Positive comment Constructive feedback Positive/supportive closing SBI Tool - Situation, Behavior, Impact (Center for Creative Leadership) Situation – When/where the behavior happened. Behavior – What the person did (specific & observable). Impact – How it affected you or others.
In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo discuss the “Avoid Criticize Loop,” a destructive conflict pattern in relationships. They explain how indirect communication, passive-aggressive comments, and involving third parties escalate conflicts instead of resolving them. Through relatable examples, the hosts emphasize the importance of direct and vulnerable communication, recognizing and addressing one's role in the cycle, and setting boundaries to promote healthier interactions. Tune in for practical insights on improving your communication and relationship strategies. Music by epidemic sound.
In this Father's Day special episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo step aside and give the microphones over to their spouses, Pete, Tom, and Ralph. In this episode, they dive into personal stories, tips for self-care, managing work-from-home life, and the joys and struggles of parenting. Tune in for an insightful conversation peppered with heartfelt moments and practical advice that every dad (and mom) can relate to. Plus, a fun Father's Day quiz to keep things lively! Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts : Father’s Everywhere! Resources : Previous Father’s Day Episodes AFAF Episode #54 Father Knows Best! How to Foster Curiosity and Build Self-Confidence in Your Child https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/25a4c29ea0c9724f21a6e527329d0a46 AFAF Episode #079 AFAF on the First Year of Fatherhood https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/af7ed8332bcbdd686df18d1e09a7af0c
In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo dive into the topic of tit-for-tat arguing and its detrimental impact on relationships. They explore the concept of critical startup moments, blame shifting, and the risks of competitive retaliation. The hosts offer practical strategies for breaking these negative patterns, such as active listening, taking responsibility, and practicing empathy. Drawing on research from John Gottman, they discuss how mindful communication can prevent conflicts from escalating and help build trust and emotional connection. Whether you're facing relationship challenges or seeking to improve your communication skills, this episode provides valuable insights and actionable advice. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Resources : Dr. John Gottman - Gottman Institute https://www.gottman.com/ Dr. Marc Brackett’s Book - Permission to Feel https://marcbrackett.com/permission-to-feel/ Link: AFAF Episode #031 - Leading Questions - How to Ask Neutral Questions https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/b861b25d7ba33bf133fdc9cad3de2a9a
In this heartfelt episode, we welcome back Melissa Beck, President of Anonymous Philanthropy, to share her wisdom on balancing the multifaceted roles of being a mother, career woman, and spouse. From managing career expectations, unseen labor, and burnout, to the importance of boundaries and the emotional rollercoaster of motherhood, Melissa provides deep insights and practical advice. The episode also delves into Melissa's supportive 'mothership' group, her experiences raising three teenage boys, and the impactful work she does in philanthropy. Join us as we explore the strength, struggles, and triumphs of being a working mom. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts : Melissa Beck and Mothers everywhere Link to previous AFAF Episode with Melissa Beck on Generosity: https://youtu.be/wEnzueUNT0E
In this enlightening episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo delve into the complexities of maintaining cherished relationships. The episode addresses the common tendency to focus on differences rather than similarities and offers practical tools to bridge gaps and create connections. It highlights examples from everyday life, family gatherings, workplace dynamics, and even vacations to illustrate how emphasizing commonalities can lead to more harmonious interactions. Learn how shifting your language and mindset from 'me' vs. 'you' to 'we' and 'us' can transform the way you connect with others. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts : Clark and Brennan - Common Ground Theory Resources : McCorkle and Reese: Mediation Theory and Practice
Welcome back to Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, featuring hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo. In today's episode, we explore “reframing”—a powerful mental communication tool backed by research that helps cultivate resilience, clarity, and purpose. The discussion juxtaposes growth versus fixed mindsets and optimism versus pessimism, drawing on insights from Martin Seligman's “Learned Optimism” and Carol Dweck's “Mindset: The Psychology of Success.” Through personal anecdotes and practical examples, we delve into how shifting our perspectives can turn challenges into opportunities for growth. Whether it’s navigating relationship breakups or dealing with everyday inconveniences, reframing aids in approaching problems from new angles and adapting a growth-oriented mindset. Join us as we uncover ways to enhance your emotional well-being and relationship dynamics through the transformative power of reframing. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts/Resources: Martin Seligman - Learned Optimism https://www.amazon.com/Learned-Optimism-Change-Your-Mind/dp/0671019112 Brene Brown - Rising Strong https://brenebrown.com/book/rising-strong/ Carol Dweck - Mindset: The New Psychology of Success https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/40745.Mindset AFAF Links : Episode #004: Birthday Mindset! How to Stay Positive https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/655b369db039ba1eea98440837bb86d4
In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo discuss the importance of setting boundaries in personal and professional relationships. They demystify common misconceptions, explore why boundaries are essential for healthy interactions, and offer practical advice on how to create, state, and maintain effective boundaries. The conversation includes real-life examples and role-playing scenarios to help listeners understand the importance of clear, direct communication. Tune in to learn how to respect your needs and foster stronger relationships through thoughtful boundary-setting. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts : Dr. Nicole LaPera, Cloud and Townsend Resources : Dr. Nicole LaPera’s Formula for Boundaries CREATE STATE MAINTAIN https://theholisticpsychologist.com/boundaries-the-ultimate-life-hack/ Cloud and Townsend’s Book: https://www.boundariesbooks.com/products/boundaries-updated-expanded-edition Links to AFAF Episodes on Boundaries : Episode #020: Myths of Boundaries https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/c6b431c4b18335a1759db7588986fd0d Episode #021: Boundaries 101 - How to Say No! https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/8dc8625be3a918b62f8c9d16a1f888f9 Episode #022: Managing Boundaries - How to Manage Difficult People https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/04a05256443fa4baabf2b3dcbfcc32d9 Episode #067: How to Set Boundaries to Help Others Treat You Well https://youtu.be/DWsp-Ma9ZMs Episode #068: How to Handle Boundary Testers https://youtu.be/WeAdKxNlhB0
In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo explore the concept of stonewalling in relationships. They discuss common misconceptions, Gottman's Four Horsemen, and the damaging effects stonewalling can have on relationships. The conversation includes personal anecdotes, practical advice on how to manage and recognize stonewalling, and effective strategies like planning discussions to avoid emotional flooding. Tune in for insightful tips and real-life experiences to improve your communication and relational dynamics. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts : Dr. John Gottman, Gottman Institute https://www.gottman.com/ Listen Here: Shut Down Mode Episode #005: https://pod.link/afafwithtalkdoc/episode/100334e9de176a1fa5f53be4503458cf Watch and Listen Here: AFAF REWIND "How to Manage Stonewalling" Episode #094: https://youtu.be/lTGfidapgAo