Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners

Why is everyone suddenly dressing like they ride? From "equestrian-core" to "country luxe," the horsey aesthetic is galloping through fashion — but what does it really say? In this episode, Kiki Astor, fresh from a research trip at her hunting lodge in Virginia's horse country, getting ready to release her upcoming dark old money gothic equestrian romance Scarlet Fever, explores why the equestrian look is the ultimate old money uniform: disciplined, neutral, and quietly expensive. We'll talk about Ralph Lauren's lifelong love affair with the hunt, the five essential garments that define authentic equestrian chic (and how not to look like you're wearing a costume), and the etiquette of foxhunting — from who may wear scarlet to what never to say about someone's horse. It's a masterclass in tweed, tack, and taste — because true equestrian style isn't about showing off; it's about knowing the rules.

As daylight wanes and autumn deepens, the first week of November offers unique opportunities—and subtle challenges—for anyone who cherishes etiquette, aesthetics, and intentional living. In this episode of Awkward Etiquette: Old Money and New Manners with Kiki Astor, Kiki reveals how to navigate early November with elegance, balance, and old-money flair. What you'll learn in this episode: 1. Daylight Savings Time Etiquette: Adjust your daily routines gracefully, pour drinks earlier, and embrace the cozy rhythms of the season—without sacrificing sophistication. Learn how small timing changes can elevate your lifestyle and keep you effortlessly on top of social expectations. 2. Selective Hospitality: Discover the art of hosting with intention. From gracefully declining invitations to offering one-on-one refuge instead of trying to please everyone, Kiki shares how to cancel plans politely, truthfully, and with elegant alternatives—because refined social navigation is always in style. 3. Autumnal Home Rituals: Bring seasonal charm to your home with old-money-approved practices: polishing silver, waxing floors, stocking quality candles, and rotating throws and portières. These subtle touches honor the season, elevate your home's gravitas, and add understated sophistication to everyday life. 4. Sensory Living: Cultivate warmth and romance by focusing on sound, scent, and texture—from cedar-scented storage to the Calandre glow of ambient lighting. Kiki explains how attentive, sensory-focused living can transform a simple space into a haven of comfort and style. 5. Wardrobe of Withdrawal: Learn to embrace seasonal fabrics like velvet and linen, revive the hostess dress for intimate gatherings, and indulge in self-care without falling into sloth. November is the perfect time to make quiet elegance and comfort your wardrobe mantra. 6. Intentional Connection: Reconnect with old friends and family thoughtfully. Create opportunities for others to contribute, and enjoy low-pressure, intimate evenings—like a chic aperitivo—where conversation and connection take precedence over performative socializing. No…vember is the month when introversion is chic, minimalism is luxurious, and balance—between solitude and connection, leisure and responsibility—is essential. Join Kiki Astor as she guides you through the subtle arts of selective hosting, seasonal refinement, and the timeless pleasures our ancestors once celebrated.  

What happens when artificial intelligence meets old money manners, style, and lifestyle? In this witty and insightful episode of Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners, Kiki Astor takes on the rise of the AI Old Money Girl — that picture-perfect, algorithm-crafted vision of luxury and composure who seems to live in a permanent Ralph Lauren ad. She's flawless, serene, and utterly unreal. She's also damaging to your self esteem and your sense of reality. Here's the thing: true sophistication isn't generated — it's cultivated. Kiki explores how to use AI tools elegantly, not for artifice but for authentic refinement. From organizing your wardrobe like an old-money heiress to planning seamless travel, writing better thank-you notes, hosting with warmth, or even curating digital routines that feel intentional — this episode is your guide to living beautifully in the modern age. You'll learn how to blend technology with timeless taste, how to stay discerning amid digital perfection, and how to make AI your most stylish assistant — not your aesthetic enemy. Because real elegance, luxury, and grace were never about resisting innovation… they were about mastering it, beautifully.  

"People will talk." For ages, this has been used as an excuse for not doing something that could be incredibly rewarding, be it starting a business, writing that book, making the art, or wearing the dress or the lipstick that makes your heart sing. In this week's episode of Awkward Etiquette- Old Money and New Manners, Kiki Astor explores one of the oldest social anxieties in the book: what people say about us—and why it still stings, even - or esecially- in the age of curated feeds and public personas. From the elegant discretion of old money circles to the performative transparency of modern social media, Kiki dissects the etiquette of reputation, how to navigate gossip gracefully, and why not caring what others think is the most powerful (and chic) move of all, and a social skill you'll want to develop as soon as possible. Listeners will learn how to protect their reputation without becoming paranoid, reclaim their narrative with composure, and turn criticism into quiet confidence. Kiki also unpacks how online notoriety has changed the rules of reputation—what still matters, what doesn't, and how to maintain dignity, mystique, and good manners even when "people will talk." It's a witty, psychological, and oddly reassuring guide to surviving the spotlight—whether it's the country club, the comments section, or your own circle of frenemies.

Hosting doesn't have to be hard — unless, of course, you make the tragic mistake of calling it a potluck. In this sparkling episode of Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners, Kiki Astor reveals the secrets of easy entertaining the old money way. From what to wear as a host or hostess to the timeless menu formulas that never fail, Kiki shares how to create effortless elegance (even on a budget). Expect chic dinner party ideas, old money anecdotes, and the kind of practical charm that transforms chaos into calm. You'll learn why gracious hosting is less about perfection and more about good manners, atmosphere, and the right lighting. Whether you're planning a weekend luncheon or a supper for six, this episode is your guide to sophisticated entertaining with wit, warmth, and a dash of scandalous truth. Topics include: old money entertaining, hosting on a budget, elegant dinner menus, what to wear when hosting, modern etiquette for hosts, and how to throw a proper dinner without losing your mind.

Beauty fades. Fortunes vanish. But style—the kind old money has mastered—is eternal. In this week's episode of Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor, we unravel the old money secret to staying unforgettable long after the roses wilt and the cheekbones soften. From patched Barbour jackets to grande dames in caftans, from Brooke Astor's birthday notes to Diana Vreeland's "garden in hell" apartment, this episode explores how true style outlasts both beauty and wealth. We'll meet the archetypes of age and authority—the Dowager, the Grande Dame, the Patriarch, the Patron, the Spinster Aunt, and more—each a living proof that permanence comes not from youth, but from cultivating eccentricity, rituals, and presence. Along the way, you'll discover why old money never throws anything away, how to turn quirks into calling cards, and the simple rituals you can borrow to make yourself unforgettable in a disposable age. If you've ever wondered why the old money aesthetic keeps trending—or how to build a style that even time can't erase—this is the episode for you.

What makes a home look quietly elegant… and what makes it look like a Cheesecake Factory in disguise? In this episode, Kiki Astor breaks down the common, supposedly "old money" decorating elements that actually cheapen a house when done wrong. From blinding white exteriors and shiny DIY lacquer walls to overdone marble countertops in modern farmhouse McMansions and Greek columns that aim to make a 60's ranch-style home look like a neo-Palladian estate but instead fall painfully flat, Kiki explains why these popular choices fail — and how true old money interiors whisper rather than scream. Drawing on the lessons of icons like Billy Baldwin, Tony Duquette, Bunny Mellon, Nina Campbell, and Ralph Lauren, she reveals the timeless principles of proportion, context, and patience that create authentic elegance. But don't worry if your home was built in this decade rather than inherited from Gilded Age great-grandparents, we have some savvy budget-minded tricks in this episode that will surprise you- and even some shocking hacks that you won't believe. Expect sharp insights, a few scandalous design confessions, and plenty of cheeky etiquette along the way, including working with a friend who is a decorator. Whether you're dreaming of old money style, redecorating on a budget, or just curious about the fine line between tasteful and tacky, this episode is your field guide to avoiding the most common "new money" décor mistakes.

In this week's episode of Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor, we're diving into the fascinating—and often unspoken—world of grooming, beauty, and personal presentation in high society. What's the difference between old money grooming and new money beauty trends? Why does understated polish signal heritage wealth, while flashy cosmetic enhancements can read as nouveau riche? From skincare routines and subtle hair maintenance to manicure etiquette, fragrance choices, and the art of looking "effortlessly well-kept," Kiki unpacks the codes that separate discreet refinement from try-hard opulence. Whether you're curious about old money style, preparing for social events, or simply want to elevate your everyday grooming habits with timeless elegance, this episode blends etiquette, history, and humor into practical advice you can use. Expect tips on navigating salon culture, luxury beauty treatments, cosmetic procedures, and the do's and don'ts of presenting yourself with sophistication in any setting.

Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor – Episode: "Starting Over Without Moving Zip Codes" Think you need a new city to reinvent yourself? Think again. In this episode, Romance author and old money and etiquette expert Kiki Astor dismantles the myth of "new city, new me" and reveals how true personal reinvention happens quietly, elegantly, and right where you are. From the psychology behind why we crave fresh starts—like escaping our past selves, chasing romance, or seeking novelty—to the subtle, old money–approved strategies for refining your identity without uprooting your life, Kiki shares actionable insights that blend sophistication, etiquette, and real-world charm. Discover how to: Embrace subtle reinvention by editing routines, wardrobe, and rituals instead of making dramatic changes Build community credibility and strengthen your local social circle while evolving your personal brand Become a tourist in your own town, uncovering hidden gems and cultivating intellectual leisure Refresh your home, hobbies, and reputation with grace, polish, and elegance Avoid common mistakes like equating reinvention with relocation, chasing trends, or broadcasting your "new self" Packed with historical and cultural examples—from Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis to Princess Diana and Lady Ottoline Morrell—this episode blends romance novel fantasy with real-life psychology, showing listeners how to cultivate sophistication, confidence, and transformation at home. Whether you're craving personal growth, elegant reinvention, local chic, subtle transformation, or old money wisdom, this episode teaches you how to feel renewed without a U-Haul, turning your everyday environment into a stage for your most sophisticated self.

In this episode of the Awkward Etiquette podcast, novelist, hostess, old money and etiquette expert and recovering debutante Kiki Astor unpacks the awkward etiquette mistakes, social faux pas, and embarrassing moments that happen to everyone — whether you're navigating high society, old money circles, or just a tricky cocktail party. From using the wrong fork at a formal dinner, spilling champagne at a gala, or being snubbed by a shop assistant, to passing gas in public, stopping up a toilet, or being pooped on by a bird, Kiki reveals how to recover with impeccable manners, polished social skills, and quiet confidence. Explore why grace under pressure is the ultimate status symbol, how to turn a mortifying moment into a masterclass in poise, and why another person's bad manners say far more about them than about you. Drawing on etiquette traditions, social graces, and real-life examples from Oprah Winfrey to Jennifer Lopez, this episode is your chic survival guide to overcoming humiliation, avoiding social blunders, and mastering the art of old money composure — no dramatic "Pretty Woman" scene required.

Planning a visit to Montecito—or just dying to know what really goes on behind those wrought-iron gates and hedges? In this week's episode, etiquette maven and nouveau pauvre insider Kiki Astor shares the ultimate Montecito travel guide: one part luxury lifestyle handbook, one part whispered society scandal sheet. This week, Kiki Astor is celebrating the publication of her steamy romance novel, Service Entrance, ste in Montecito, and believe us when we say she has done her research. From where old money and new money brunch, to the best ocean views and cultural landmarks, to secret hideaways where the truly rich go to disappear—this is your invitation inside Montecito's most rarefied addresses. Expect cheeky commentary, high society etiquette tips, and very specific advice on how not to get mistaken for staff (unless you are the staff, in which case… good luck). Whether you're heading to Montecito, California for a glamorous weekend getaway, considering a move to the Santa Barbara coast, or simply craving the inside scoop on status symbols, social codes, and the old money aesthetic—this episode is your passport to privilege. Highlights include: Where real Montecito locals eat, shop, hike, and hide from houseguests The difference between tourist traps and truly chic spots What to pack to look rich, relaxed, and unbothered (even if you're none of those things) Travel etiquette for blending in with the old guard How to signal you belong—without saying a word From the Rosewood Miramar to Coast Village Road, Kiki's giving you the real story on where to go, what to wear, and what not to do if you want to pass the invisible Montecito social test. Bookmark this one before you so much as whisper "Miramar." Your summer status depends on it.

In this episode of Awkward Etiquette, host Kiki Astor—former Greenwich golden girl turned Montecito-adjacent observer—dives into the psychology, etiquette, and everyday acrobatics of living near the ultra-wealthy without actually being one of them. Whether you're sipping $7 cold brew in the shadow of a $70M estate or attending a fundraiser where your thrifted Loro Piana blazer is one dry-cleaning away from falling apart, this episode is for you. Inspired by her deliciously sharp new novel Service Entrance, Kiki dissects the invisible rules of old-money enclaves, from how to dress when you're underdressed to the emotional labor of blending in with billionaires. She explores luxury envy, stealth wealth, club culture, class-passing, and the psychological toll of being close—but not in—the club. With segments on status symbols, social survival, aspirational interiors, and what your car says about your net worth, this episode is essential listening for anyone who's ever parked a sensible sedan beside a Bentley and felt... feelings, or if you've ever wondered why we envy, admire, love and hate rich people- and how to live alongside them when you don't have the same means. These are the life skills for non-billionaires who nevertheless live near them, in what might as well be a different world.  

In this episode of Awkward Etiquette, host Kiki Astor explores the world of modern household staff in wealthy homes. The world of Downton Abbey is a bit antiquated- how do today's wealthy people run their homes? With sophisticated household staff. Discover how today's private service professionals differ from traditional butlers and maids, with many trained in luxury hospitality or even military service. Learn about the complex dynamics between staff and employers, including the differences between old money and new money attitudes. Get insider tips on hiring and managing household employees, from nannies to estate managers. Kiki shares etiquette advice for interacting gracefully with staff, whether in your own home or as a guest. Plus, get a sneak peek at Kiki's upcoming novel 'Service Entrance' which offers a fictional glimpse into the private world of household staff. Don't miss this fascinating look at the invisible engine that keeps luxury homes running smoothly.

Have you been ghosted by your friend group without a clue why? Welcome to Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor, your cheeky guide to modern manners and social survival. In this episode, Kiki tackles the concept of the real-life shadowban—when you're not blocked or unfollowed, but subtly iced out of social events, text threads, and brunch invites. Learn how to spot the signs of a social shadowban, what accidental faux pas might've triggered it (yes, even your thirsty Instagram stories count), and how to gracefully re-enter the scene with charm, class, and a soft-launch-worthy glow-up. Whether you've been quietly canceled, ghosted by the group chat, or just feel like everyone's "busy" all of a sudden, this episode serves etiquette advice with a twist of reality check