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Coaching for Leaders
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Coaching for Leaders
Author: Dave Stachowiak
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Description
Leaders aren't born, they're made. This Monday show helps you discover leadership wisdom through insightful conversations. Independently produced weekly since 2011, Dr. Dave Stachowiak brings perspective from a thriving, global leadership academy, plus more than 15 years of leadership at Dale Carnegie. Bestselling authors, expert researchers, deep conversation, and regular dialogue with listeners have attracted 40 million downloads and the #1 search result for management on Apple Podcasts. Activate your FREE membership to access the entire leadership and management library at CoachingforLeaders.com
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Mary Murphy: Cultures of Growth
Mary Murphy is Professor of Psychological and Brain Sciences at Indiana University. She is also Founding Director of the Summer Institute on Diversity at the Center for Advanced Study in the Behavioral Sciences at Stanford University and founder and CEO of the Equity Accelerator, a research and consulting organization that works with schools and companies to create more equitable learning and working environments. She is the author of Cultures of Growth: How the New Science of Mindset Can Transform Individuals, Teams, and Organizations*.
Many of us have heard the distinction between a fixed and a growth mindset. Turns out it’s more of a both/and, especially with our teams. In this conversation, Mary and I discuss how team collaboration can support a growth mindset.
Key Points
Nobody has only a fixed or a growth mindset. While we may favor one, all of us shift between them.
Team culture is so powerful that it can either block or encourage a growth mindset.
Mindset doesn't just affect perceptions and behaviors, it shapes the bottom line.
To support collaboration, begin with a cues audit. Consider starting with affinity groups.
It’s misperception that cultures of growth are less data-centric than cultures of genius. The opposite is actually true.
Don’t eliminate competition, recast it. Consider how incentives align with supporting others and the organization as a whole.
Yes, share outcomes -- and also include the distance traveled to achieve them. This supports a culture of growth.
Traditional rating systems, especially forced-rankings, often reinforce cultures of genius.
Resources Mentioned
Cultures of Growth: How the New Science of Mindset Can Transform Individuals, Teams, and Organizations* by Mary Murphy
Culture Cues Assessment
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
Growth Mindset Helps You Rise From the Ashes, with Jeff Hittenberger (episode 326)
How to Build Psychological Safety, with Amy Edmondson (episode 404)
Help Your Team Embrace Growth Mindset, with Eduardo Briceño (episode 644)
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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.
Maureen Dunne: The Neurodiversity Edge
Maureen Dunne is a cognitive scientist, neurodiversity expert, global keynote speaker, board director, and business leader with over two decades of experience helping organizations build thriving cultures. She has served as a Senior Advisor to some of the world's top organization, including the LEGO Foundation, Cornell University, and Members of Congress. She is the author of The Neurodiversity Edge: The Essential Guide to Embracing Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, and Other Neurological Differences for Any Organization*.
We often don’t notice our deeply held biases — and there’s certainly bias against neurodiversity. In this conversation, Maureen and I discuss the research, mindsets, and contributions relevant to neurodiversity. Plus, how neurodiversity can provide an edge for almost every organization.
Key Points
We often don’t see our deeply held biases. As one example, we assume that north is “up” on maps and globes, even though that’s only a construct.
Research and estimates vary, but at least 20% of the population is neurodivergent.
Divergent bees in hives find new sources of honey. Instead of viewing neurodivergence from a deficit-based perspective, use a strengths-based approach.
Intellectual capability is entirely independent of having a neurodivergent profile.
Rather than maintaining accommodations for “quirky people,” move towards a norm of universal accommodations that benefit the entire employee population.
Resources Mentioned
The Neurodiversity Edge: The Essential Guide to Embracing Autism, ADHD, Dyslexia, and Other Neurological Differences for Any Organization* by Maureen Dunne
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Begin Difficult Conversations About Race, with Kwame Christian (episode 594)
Supporting Return to Work After Maternity Leave, with Danna Greenberg (episode 639)
How to Be a Better Ally, with Lauren Wesley Wilson (episode 675)
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James Rhee: Red Helicopter
James Rhee is a former high school teacher and Harvard Law School graduate who became a private equity investor and unexpectedly an acclaimed CEO. He bridges math with emotions by marrying capital with purpose, while composing systems that bridge peoples, disciplines, and ideas. James is the author of Red Helicopter: Lead Change With Kindness (Plus a Little Math)*.
Bad news: leaders are often the ones who make the rules that prevent kindness. Good news: leaders are also the ones who can change the rules. In this conversation, James and I explore how leadership (and results) improve when kindness is at the center of our work.
Key Points
We all know the power of intuitive, childhood truths. Leaders should champion these, even if that means challenging the establishment.
Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind.” Clarity emerges by also ensuring an alignment with reality by leveraging math.
Kindness is not random or entertaining. It’s an intentional, consistent practice.
Leaders make the rules that encumber kindness — and they have the capacity to change those rules.
The cost centers of an organization are a creative opportunity for kindness.
Resources Mentioned
Red Helicopter: Lead Change With Kindness (Plus a Little Math)* by James Rhee
Arirang Amazing Grace for a Red Helicopter
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Create Meaningful Gatherings, with Priya Parker (episode 395)
How Leaders Build, with Guy Raz (episode 491)
The Power of Leadership Through Hospitality, with Will Guidara (episode 688)
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Lisa Cummings: Lead Through Strengths
Lisa Cummings is the founder of Lead Through Strengths, a firm supporting building strengths into your team's culture. She's also the host of the Lead Through Strengths podcast. Lisa is a Gallup-certified strengths coach and has trained over 20,000 people in 14 countries. Today, she facilitates offsites and retreats to help leaders and their teams go deep on utilizing their strengths well.
When challenges arise in leadership, we sometimes miss what’s right in front of us. In this conversation, Lisa and I discuss how to zero in on your core strengths and utilize them to address new challenges that arise.
Key Points
Lisa began her StrengthsFinder journey through the First Break All the Rules book. Dave began his with the Soar With Your Strengths book.
Many of us value what we’ve worked hardest to achieve, but those areas aren’t typically our core strengths.
The talents appearing on the bottom of your StrengthsFinder assessment are the approaches that tend to drain you and lead to burnout.
It’s helpful to focus on removing blind spots. Those are most often hidden in our top strengths.
When new leadership issues come up, aim your top strengths at them. Often, there’s an opportunity to reframe challenges in the context of your strengths.
Resources Mentioned
CliftonStrengths (formerly StrengthsFinder) assessment
StrengthsFinder Talents overview by Lisa Cummings
Contact Lisa for a question or workshop
Related Episodes
How Teams Use StrengthsFinder Results, with Lisa Cummings (episode 293)
Craft a Career to Fit Your Strengths, with Scott Anthony Barlow (episode 424)
Bringing Your Strengths to a Big Job, with General CQ Brown, Jr. (episode 691)
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General CQ Brown, Jr.: Chairman of the Joint Chiefs
General CQ Brown, Jr. is the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the nation’s highest-ranking military officer. As Chairman, he is the principal military advisor to the President of the United States, Secretary of Defense, and National Security Council. Prior to this role, he was the first Black officer in American history to head one of our military branches as Chief of Staff of the United States Air Force. Time Magazine has named him one of the top 100 most influential people in the world.
Effective leaders discover how to best use their strengths, and of course, champion the strengths of others. In this conversation, General Brown and I discuss how he uses his strengths and what he does to bring those strengths into people development, high-level meetings, and problem-solving.
Key Points
If you are well below average at something, don’t spend time and effort trying to improve. Instead, partner with others who have it as a superpower.
Give people work that is aligned with their strengths.
Fight for feedback, especially in a top job. Find people who will give it to you straight. Listen well so they keep offering it.
Leverage your strengths in communication. For General Brown, using his engineering training to solve problems and using metaphors and analogies to create clarity.
Have the meeting after the meeting in the meeting.
Tell people where your strengths might get in the way. For General Brown, highlighting that silence that could appear intimidating is often him just listening and thinking.
Related Episodes
Leadership in the Midst of Chaos, with Jim Mattis (episode 440)
Your Leadership Motive, with Patrick Lencioni (episode 505)
Engaging People Through Change, with Cassandra Worthy (episode 571)
How to Connect with People Better, with Charles Duhigg (episode 670)
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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.
Mitch Warner: Leadership and Self-Deception
Mitch Warner is a managing partner of the Arbinger Institute. The Institute has authored three best-selling books and helps leaders transform their organizations by enabling the fundamental shift in mindset that leads to exceptional results. Now in its fourth edition, Leadership and Self-Deception: The Secret to Transforming Relationships & Unleashing Results*, is today one of the top fifty best-selling leadership books of all time.
Shifting behavior in a sustainable way requires us to change our mindset. In this conversation, Mitch and I explore how self-deception gets in our way and how we can take the first step by seeing others as people.
Key Points
In many cases, we are the carriers of the very problems we are complaining about. We often resist this reality.
We often assume we aren’t the cause of problems because of our good intentions.
Mindset drives our behaviors and the effectiveness and influence of those behaviors.
Seeing someone as less than a person causes us to see the world in a way that justifies our judgement.
Too often, conflicts manifest as people provoking another’s behavior in order to justify themselves.
Our own justification is an indicator that we may be wrong to being with.
Viewing others as either better or worse than ourselves creates justification that prevents awareness and change.
Get outside of yourself by meeting to learn about them. If the relationship has been strained, consider meeting to give.
Resources Mentioned
Leadership and Self-Deception: The Secret to Transforming Relationships & Unleashing Results* by The Arbinger Institute
The Arbinger Institute
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Compare Yourself to Others, with Mollie West Duffy (episode 582)
Help Your Team Embrace Growth Mindset, with Eduardo Briceño (episode 644)
The Way to Handle Oblivious Leadership, with Robert Sutton (episode 667)
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José Antonio Bowen: Teaching With AI
José Antonio Bowen has won teaching awards at Stanford and Georgetown and is past president of Goucher College. He has written over 100 scholarly articles and has appeared as a musician with Stan Getz, Bobby McFerrin, and others. He is the author of multiple books in higher education and is a senior fellow for the American Association of Colleges and Universities. He is the author with C. Edward Watson of Teaching With AI: A Practical Guide to a New Era of Human Learning*.
AI will change how we work, but it’s also going to change how we think. In this conversation, José and I explore where to begin working with AI and why those who can use it will serve a critical role in shaping what’s next.
Key Points
Physical maps make you smarter than GPS, but GPS is more practical for daily use. AI isn’t inherently good or bad, but like the internet, it will change how we work.
AI will eliminate some jobs, but it will change every job. Those who can work with AI will replace those who can’t.
Rather than thinking about creativity through the lens of responses from AI, focus on bringing creativity into your prompts.
Most of the AI progress for companies is coming from non-tech folks that are figuring out how specific tasks get more efficient.
AI is very good at some things and not good at others. You’ll discover how this relates to your work by experimenting with different prompts.
Resources Mentioned
Teaching With AI: A Practical Guide to a New Era of Human Learning* by José Antonio Bowen and C. Edward Watson
Example AI Prompts by José Antonio Bowen
The Human Side of Generative AI: Creating a Path to Productivity by Aaron De Smet, Sandra Durth, Bryan Hancock, Marino Mugayar-Baldocchi, and Angelika Reich
Moderna and OpenAI partner to Accelerate the Development of Life-Saving Treatments
The State of AI in Early 2024: Gen AI Adoption Spikes and Starts to Generate Value by Alex Singla, Alexander Sukharevsky, Lareina Yee, Michael Chui, and Bryce Hall
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
Make Your Reading More Meaningful, with Sönke Ahrens (episode 564)
Principles for Using AI at Work, with Ethan Mollick (episode 674)
How to Enhance Your Credibility (Audio course)
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Will Guidara: Unreasonable Hospitality
Will Guidara is the former co-owner of Eleven Madison Park, which under his leadership received four stars from the New York Times, three Michelin stars, and in 2017 was named #1 on the list of the World’s 50 Best Restaurants. He has co-authored four cookbooks, was named one of Crain's New York Business's 40 Under 40, and is the recipient of WSJ Magazine's Innovator Award. He is the author of Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect*.
We expect hospitality from a restaurant or hotel, but we often miss opportunities for this mindset at work. In this conversation, Will and I discuss effective leadership as an act of hospitality, not only for the organization and team — but for the leader themselves.
Key Points
Service is black and white. Hospitality is color.
Hospitality elevates service not only for the person receiving it, but for the person delivering it.
Hospitality is a dialogue, not a monologue. With employees, this means giving feedback continuously.
When offering criticism, make a charitable assumption. The message is still the message, but the context matters.
Giving attention to your top performers does a lot to invest others in their work.
Make it cool to care.
Resources Mentioned
Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect* by Will Guidara
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Lead Part-Time Staff, with Chris Deferio (episode 289)
Five Steps to Hold People Accountable, with Jonathan Raymond (episode 306)
The Mindset to Help Your Organization Grow, with Tiffani Bova (episode 633)
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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.
Roy Schwartz: Smart Brevity
Roy Schwartz is co-founder and CEO at Axios HQ, the world’s first AI-powered internal communications management platform. He’s also the co-founder of Axios, the award-winning news organization known for its Smart Brevity writing style. He's the co-author, along with Jim VandeHei and Mike Allen of Smart Brevity: The Power of Saying More With Less*.
Most organizations spend way more time and strategy on external communications than internal ones. In this conversation, Roy and I discuss how your internal strategy can reduce email, save time, and create space for innovation and insight.
Key Points
An effective, internal publication via email reduces the amount of total messaging people receive.
Position one, big item in every publication. There should be a hierarchy of what’s important, since not everyone will read everything.
Keep each topic to 200 words and under 1,000 words for the entire publication.
For each topic, start with a strong, first sentence — and then provide context for why it matters.
Find a word other than “newsletter” to name a regular, internal publication.
Bring personality and smiles into internal publications. People will engage and look forward to reading.
Done well, internal publications help inform, recognize, provide accountability, and allow leaders to focus on the human aspects of communication.
Resources Mentioned
Smart Brevity: The Power of Saying More With Less* by Jim VandeHei, Mike Allen, and Roy Schwartz
Axios HQ: AI-powered newsletter software
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
The Way to Make Sense to Others, with Tom Henschel (episode 518)
Getting Better at Reading the Room, with Kirstin Ferguson (episode 651)
Get People Reading What You’re Sending, with Todd Rogers (episode 666)
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Laure Arron: Who Has Your Back?
Laurie Arron is the founder of Arron Coaching, LLC and trusted adviser and executive coach to C-suite executives and Chiefs of Staff. She spent 30+ years climbing the corporate ladder at a Fortune 10 company in sales leadership, strategic planning, business transformation, and Chief of Staff roles. She is the author of Who Has Your Back?: A Leaders's Guide to Getting the Support You Need from the Chief of Staff You Deserve.
Executive leaders need both truth-tellers and those who can manage on their behalf. Increasingly, the Chief of Staff role is becoming more prominent. In this episode, Laurie and I discuss their role, where they add value, and how they benefit the entire team.
Key Points
The Chief of Staff role has become a more prevalent executive role, especially in the technology, finance, and healthcare industries.
A Chief of Staff is distinct from an executive assistant. A effective Chief represents the leader, manages on their behalf, and coordinates their work.
Every top leader needs a truth teller. A key role of the Chief of Staff is to be up-front with the person they serve.
An effective Chief is proactive in addressing issues before the leader ever knows about them. They know where messages are being lost or diluted.
Ideally, the Chief of Staff helps create a climate of free expression throughout the team.
Resources Mentioned
Who Has Your Back?: A Leaders's Guide to Getting the Support You Need from the Chief of Staff You Deserve by Laurie Arron
Let Bartlet Be Bartlet from The West Wing
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Help People Speak Truth to Power, with Megan Reitz (episode 597)
How to Start Better With Peers, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 635)
How to Start a Top Job, with Ty Wiggins (episode 685)
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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.
Ty Wiggins: The New CEO
Ty Wiggins is a leadership expert who is passionate about setting up new CEOs for success. As the global lead of Russell Reynolds Associates’ CEO & Executive Transition Practice, he helps world-leading CEOs successfully transition into their roles, guiding them through their first 12-18 months as their trusted advisor. He is the author of The New CEO: Lessons from CEOs on How to Start Well and Perform Quickly (Minus the Common Mistakes)*.
Taking on a top job is unique in many ways. In this conversation, Ty and I explore what new, top leaders can do to get out of the bubble and hear more truth. Plus, we discuss why the first 90 or 100 days might not be the best metric for top leaders, and how to better start with easy wins and early moves.
Key Points
You’ll see more in the top job, but hear less. This is even more pronounced for those promoted internally.
Getting out of the bubble means spending more time with middle managers and front-line employees. Second and third time CEOs do this more from the start.
Key questions that can help you hear more: (1) Tell me some of the workarounds you have in place and (2) What's the question I haven't asked you but I should?
The first 90 or 100 days as a success metric is often overstated in top jobs. You’re often still learning context at an exponential rate.
If it’s on fire, fix it. If it is smoldering, leave it alone until you have more context.
It’s helpful to address common pain points for easy wins. They don't have to be enormous, but they should be deliberate.
Resources Mentioned
The New CEO: Lessons from CEOs on How to Start Well and Perform Quickly (Minus the Common Mistakes)* by Ty Wiggins
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Genuinely Show Up for Others, with Marshall Goldsmith (episode 590)
How to Start a Big Leadership Role, with Carol Kauffman (episode 617)
How an Executive Aligns with a Board, with Joan Garry (episode 662)
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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.
Ruth Gotian: The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring
Ruth Gotian is the Chief Learning Officer and Associate Professor of Education in Anaesthesiology at Weill Cornell Medicine. She has been hailed by Nature and The Wall Street Journal as an expert in mentorship and leadership development. Thinkers50 has ranked her the #1 emerging management thinker in the world and she's a top LinkedIn voice in mentoring. Ruth is the author of The Success Factor and now along with Andy Lopata, The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring*.
We’ve all heard about the benefits of mentoring. In addition to receiving mentoring, great leaders give back by providing it to others. In this episode, Ruth and I discuss what the research shows that the best mentors do well.
Key Points
Effective mentors use a combination of skills in coaching, sponsorship, role-modeling, and mentoring to support the situation.
Informal mentoring tends to be more effective than formal pairings. 61% of mentoring relationships develop organically.
Open up your network to your mentee. It’s an essential way to support their growth — and yours.
Park your ego at the door. Instead, allow your mentee to shine. With their permission, amplify their achievements.
Take the role of “sophisticated barbarian.” Approach mentee situations with knowledge and experience, but with distance and objectivity of their other, daily interactions.
Document the challenges, accomplishments, and next steps during mentoring. This helps your mentee recognize accomplishments and grow their confidence.
Resources Mentioned
The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring by Ruth Gotian and Andy Lopata
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Build a Network While Still Doing Everything Else, with Ruth Gotian (episode 591)
The Art of Mentoring Well, with Robert Lefkowitz (episode 599)
The Way to Get Noticed by Key Stakeholders, with Daphne E. Jones (episode 614)
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David Novak: How Leaders Learn
David Novak is Co-Founder and the retired Chairman and CEO of Yum! Brands, the world’s largest restaurant company. During his tenure as CEO, Yum! Brands became a global powerhouse, growing from $4 billion in market cap to over $32 billion. After retiring in 2016, he became Founder and CEO of David Novak Leadership, dedicated to developing leaders at every stage of life. He is the author of How Leaders Learn: Master the Habits of the World's Most Successful People.
One element of powerful leadership is bringing different people and ideas together to create something entirely new. In this conversation, David and I discuss how leaders can use pattern thinking to create new value. Plus, we explore why active learning is so critical for successful leadership.
Key Points
Pattern thinking is 1+1 = 3. Create something bigger than its parts by pairing things not related to make something new.
Be curious about the world by being an active learner. Use books, travel, listening, and hobbies to come across insights you wouldn’t normally see.
Active learners seek out patterns proactively in order to create something new.
Questions to ask yourself:
The last time you came up with an especially creative idea or solution, what was your inspiration? What pattern were you applying and where had you discovered it?
How much time do you spend exploring outside your usual work and life experiences? Where are you getting exposure to different disciplines or industries?
Think of a challenge you’re facing or a problem you’ve been struggling to solve? Have you looked for patterns or ideas from unusual sources yet? If not, where could you turn next?
Resources Mentioned
How Leaders Learn: Master the Habits of the World's Most Successful People by David Novak
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Solve the Toughest Problems, with Wendy Smith (episode 612)
Better Ways to Lead Brainstorming, with Jeremy Utley (episode 630)
Doing Better Than Zero Sum-Thinking, with Renée Mauborgne (episode 641)
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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.
Bonni Stachowiak: Teaching in Higher Ed
Bonni is the host of the Teaching in Higher Ed podcast, Dean of Teaching and Learning and Professor of Business and Management at Vanguard University, and my life partner. Prior to her academic career, she was a human resources consultant and executive officer for a publicly traded company. Bonni is the author of The Productive Online and Offline Professor: A Practical Guide.
Question from Qasim
Qasim asked our thoughts on how to break the busy cycle and actually get started with something important.
Aruj wondered how to handle a tricky situation where colleagues are gossiping lots in the office.
Alice has three great opportunities in front of her was curious our advice on how to decide between them.
Resources Mentioned
How to Decide by Annie Duke
Related Episodes
How to Start a Conversation With Anyone, with Mark Sieverkropp (episode 177)
How to Deal with Opponents and Adversaries, with Peter Block (episode 328)
The Way to Make Better Decisions, with Annie Duke (episode 499)
The Power of Unlearning Silence, with Elaine Lin Hering (episode 678)
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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.
Matt Abrahams: Think Faster, Talk Smarter
Matt Abrahams is an educator, author, podcast host, and coach. He is a lecturer in Organizational Behavior at Stanford University’s Graduate School of Business and a keynote speaker and communication consultant for Fortune 100 companies. He is the host of the popular podcast Think Fast, Talk Smart and the author of Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot*.
One of the most common places leaders get put on the spot is when facilitating a question and answer session. In this episode, Matt and I discuss the mindset, preparation, and steps that will help you answer questions with confidence and increase credibility with your audience.
Key Points
Many presenters think about a Q&A session like playing dodgeball. It’s more helpful to frame it as dialogue.
Answering questions well allows you to project authenticity, expand on key points, and resolve objections.
Use the ADD framework to respond to a question. A: answer the question, D: detail an example, and D: describe the value. If helpful, adjust the order.
Set boundaries for the kinds of questions you’ll answer and the timeframe for them. The audience expects you to lead the conversation.
Ask yourself a question if nobody else asks one first. This might start with, “A question I’m commonly asked…”
End with an exclamation point. Sticking the landing provides you confidence and shows credibility to your audience.
Resources Mentioned
Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot* by Matt Abrahams
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
The Way to Influence Executives, with Nancy Duarte (episode 450)
How to Rehearse Before a Presentation, with Jacqueline Farrington (episode 645)
That’s a Great Question (Dave’s Journal)
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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.
Michael Bungay Stanier: The Coaching Habit
Michael Bungay Stanier is the author of eight books, including The Coaching Habit*, which has sold more than a million copies and is the best-selling book on coaching this century. He is the founder Box of Crayons, a learning and development company that’s trained thousands of people around the world to be more coach-like. His TEDx Talk on Taming Your Advice Monster has been viewed more than a million times.
One of the most common desires leaders espouse is wanting to get better at helping others grow. One great way to do that is to become more coach-like. In this conversation, Michael and I explore how we can do better at building this skill.
Key Points
Care deeply for others while also being disconnected from their outcomes. Give people responsibility for their own freedom.
Consider asking, “How much risk are you willing to take?” Allow the other party to define the boundaries.
Bring a difficult observation as a third point. Separate the message from the person and let them decide what’s true.
Avoid asking “why” questions of others to avoid putting people on the defensive and trying to solve their problems.
A helpful checkpoint: is this question something that’s helping me or helping the other party?
Silence is a measure of success. When you ask as question that lands, people need time to answer.
Your body leads your brain. Notice your physical presence and how it manifests when you’re listening well.
Resources Mentioned
The Coaching Habit* by Michael Bungay Stanier
Register your book receipt for bonus items from Michael
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
These Coaching Questions Get Results, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 237)
Leadership in the Midst of Chaos, with Jim Mattis (episode 440)
How to Lead Better Through Complexity, with Jennifer Garvey Berger (episode 613)
How to Help Others Be Seen and Heard, with Scott Shigeoka (episode 654)
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Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.
Jeff Wetzler: Ask
Jeff Wetzler is co-CEO of Transcend, a nationally recognized innovation organization, and an expert in learning and human potential. His experience spans 25+ years in business and education, as a management consultant to top corporations, a learning facilitator for leaders, and as Chief Learning Officer at Teach For America.
He is a member of the Aspen Global Leadership Network and is an Edmund Hillary Fellow. Jeff is the author of Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life*.
Leaders are not the only people who need to have difficult conversations in the workplace. Yet, leaders set the tone for how much people are willing and able to talk about hard things. In this episode, Jeff and I discuss how leaders can make it easier for those important conversations to happen.
Key Points
In one study of managers, most people admitted to remaining silent with their bosses and nearly 75% said colleagues also felt uncomfortable speaking up.
Meet people on their own turf. Others are more likely to speak up if they are in a setting that’s more comfortable for them.
Leaders should consider shifting timing and/or medium to one that’s of the preference for the person who doesn’t have power.
Explain why you’re asking about a topic and your intention for a conversation at the start. Providing context prevents people from having to guess at your agenda.
Set a mutual agenda for a conversation by asking a question like, “In addition to this, what else should be part of our conversation today?”
Establish a tone for open communication by radiating resilience. Words like these might help: “If I were in your shoes, I might be feeling frustrated or even resentful. If that’s how you’re feeling, I would understand completely. Please don’t hold back.”
Resources Mentioned
Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life* by Jeff Wetzler
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet (episode 454)
The Way Out of Major Conflict, with Amanda Ripley (episode 529)
How to Grow From Your Errors, with Amy Edmondson (episode 663)
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.
Elaine Lin Hering: Unlearning Silence
Elaine Lin Hering is a facilitator, speaker, and writer who helps people build skills in communication, collaboration, and conflict management. She is a former Managing Partner of Triad Consulting Group and Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School, specializing in dispute resolution, mediation, and negotiation. She is the author of Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Your Talent, and Live More Fully.
Those of us who have struggled to speak up have been told, “Just be more confident,” or, “Say this to get started.” As Elaine and I discuss in this conversation, there’s a larger context at play…and great power for both leaders and the people they lead, in unlearning silence.
Key Points
Start with why. For change to actually happen, find something that matters more than the old behavior.
What seems obvious to us isn’t always obvious to others. Connecting the dots for others demonstrates the meaning you’re making.
Beginning a thought with, “From where I sit…” provides an entry point for what you need to say while also acknowledging different perspectives from others.
Most people want to be helpful, but don’t always know how. Tell them how they can be helpful in the moment.
Resistance is part of the process of influencing others. While it doesn’t feel good in the moment, it’s often the catalyst for creating movement.
Resources Mentioned
Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Your Talent, and Live More Fully* by Elaine Lin Hering
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Speak Up, with Connson Locke (episode 546)
End Imposter Syndrome in Your Organization, with Jodi-Ann Burey (episode 556)
The Mindset Leaders Need to Address Burnout, with Christina Maslach (episode 608)
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.
Sohee Jun: The Aligned Mindset
Sohee Jun is a leadership coach for female executives, leaders, founders, and entrepreneurs. She is also a TEDx speaker, Forbes Coaches Council member, keynote speaker, leadership development expert, and author. With over twenty years in the corporate world, she has worked with Fortune 500 companies, including those in the entertainment, production, and media sectors such as Netflix, Fox, and Disney.
In 2020, Sohee released her first book, Mommytracked: How to Take Authentic Risks and Find Success on Your Terms, with the goal of helping ambitious women tap into their inner core throughout the different phases of their lives. She's now the author of a second book, The Aligned Mindset: Secrets of High-Achieving Women for Navigating Work and Life*.
In a world where still too few women are represented in senior leadership roles, many of us want to do whatever we can to support high-achieving women. In this conversation, Sohee and I explore what her research and experience indicates that leaders can do to better support women in their careers.
Key Points
Leaders can support both women and men by framing the larger “why” or North Star. Providing context helps a point of focus to emerge.
Do it afraid. Provide support to work through fearful situations with success.
When supporting women in building confidence, help them recognize what they’ve already achieved.
Normalize the discussion about financial literacy. Opening the door to dialogue around salary negotiation helps equalize the salary gap.
One question can set the tone for better work and life integration. Leaders can proactively ask about boundaries.
Resources Mentioned
The Aligned Mindset: Secrets of High-Achieving Women for Navigating Work and Life* by Sohee Jun
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
How to Prioritize, with Christy Wright (episode 545)
How to Protect Your Confidence, with Nate Zinsser (episode 573)
The Path Towards Your Next Promotion, with Adam Bryant (episode 653)
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.
Michael McQueen: Mindstuck
Michael McQueen has spent the past two decades helping organizations and leaders win the battle for relevance. He specializes in helping clients navigate uncertainty and stay one step ahead of change.
Michael is a bestselling author of nine books and a familiar face on the international conference circuit, having shared the stage with the likes of Bill Gates, Dr. John C. Maxwell, and Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak. Having formerly been named Australia’s Keynote Speaker of the Year, he has been inducted into the Professional Speakers Hall of Fame. He is the author of Mindstuck: Mastering the Art of Changing Minds*.
There’s a lot of evidence that our minds would rather feel right than be right. How then, do you influence someone when they are really convinced of their position? In this conversation, Michael and I discuss the initial steps that help in changing people’s minds.
Key Points
Our tendency is to convince to the inquiring mind, but we’ll do better if we speak to the instinctive mind first.
Help others lessen loss and maintain dignity by preserving titles, language, and symbols in things that are new.
Instead of trying making an argument, ask a question that allows the other person to listen to themselves.
Ask questions that clarify points of resistance or misunderstanding.
Speak like you’re right, listen like you’re wrong.
Resources Mentioned
Mindstuck: Mastering the Art of Changing Minds* by Michael McQueen
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
The Way to Influence Executives, with Nancy Duarte (episode 450)
Four Habits That Derail Listening, with Oscar Trimboli (episode 500)
Three Practices for Thriving in Negotiations, with William Ury (episode 669)
Discover More
Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.
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I'm passionate about this podcast. it's helpful.
Great! Effective listening is an essential skill for communication and building strong relationship
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This is a fantastic podcast. Thanks, Dave and Jacob.
Thank you so much for this episode and excellent advice on dealing with triggers. I'm sure everyone can benefit from trying some of the takeaways.
Thank you Jorge for sharing your story and experiences. Very remarkable and inspiring.
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Thank you Dave for sharing your very touching personal story. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Nice
great conversation. found this really helpful.
SOOOOOO GOOD!!
Thanks Dave and Peter !!! this answer a question troubled me for some time!
so beautiful!!! Thanks!
oh my! this is gold!!!
great!!!
bullshit podcast, waste of time
“Learning is messy” 👌
Nice episode explaining how a group can help you to grow and become a better "you", and that blogging is still a great way to structure/ but together our thoughts.
This is an awesome episode. Loads of golden notes in here..
I loved this so much! I'm a millennial that's currently up for mentoring adoption. I own a business that specializes in finding and removing the blocks in a business that hold back their sales team from being successful and also removing the subconscious mental blocks that hold back the employees and team members from being confident and successful. The business name is Carefree Confidence, LLC and the website is www.carefree-confidence.com I would be so grateful to have a mentor that can help me move forward and I can help you grow leadership skills and the understanding of female millennials.