About Tiffany Yu Tiffany Yu is the author of "The Anti-Ableist Manifesto" and founder of Diversability, a community of over 80,000 people focused on disability leadership. She became disabled at age 9 in a car accident that took her father's life and left her with paralysis in one arm. She's also a paraclimber competing internationally for Team USA. Disability Pride and Dating Disability pride is how disabled people combat ableism—showing up as the fullest embodiment of who they are. In dating, this means feeling secure in one's disabled body rather than hiding it. Tiffany shared her evolution from waiting until the third or fourth date to disclose her disability to now prominently featuring it in dating profiles and conversations. Personal Journey For 12 years after becoming disabled, Tiffany didn't tell anyone about her accident. Her "second disability origin story" began in college in 2009 when she started her disability pride journey. From 2009-2019, she worked on owning her story, but it wasn't until recently that she became comfortable with the physical manifestation of her disability, learning to stop hiding her arm in photos. Anti-Ableism in Relationships Anti-ableism in dating means actively not devaluing someone based on how their body or mind works. It includes understanding access needs, recognizing microaggressions (like constantly being asked "what happened?"), and practicing "access intimacy"—anticipating a partner's needs without them having to ask. Advice for Dating Tiffany emphasizes building community support, working with therapists, and checking in with yourself before dating. She uses a 1-10 scale—only dating when she's at least a 7 or 8 out of 10 excited, avoiding bringing exhaustion or jadedness into new connections. What Needs to Change Dating apps have fundamental flaws, relying on photos and prompts rather than genuine interaction. Society needs to close the perception gap around disability—recognizing that disabled people always been here, are valuable partners, and deserve to be seen. Tiffany's Website The Anti-Ableist Manifesto Kathy's Diversability Talk on Sexual Ableism and Dating
Understanding Neurospicy Relationships Dr. Kristen Williamson, a licensed professional counselor with a doctorate in behavioral health management, shares her journey of being diagnosed with autism and ADHD at 39. She prefers the term "neurospicy" over neurodivergent, believing it captures "the spice of life" that comes with different brain wiring. Communication Challenges and Solutions Dr. Williamson explains how her autism can make her sound robotic when she's not actively thinking about vocal inflection, which her ADHD husband initially misinterpreted as anger or criticism. Her advice: learn about your brain and advocate for yourself upfront. Tell potential partners, "I like to ask questions. I might ask you 17 questions in a row—I'm not interrogating you, I'm just really interested." Overcoming Rejection Sensitivity Neurospicy individuals often experience rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), described as "a thousand micro cuts across your psyche." Dr. Williamson acknowledges this pain while emphasizing that there are people who will accept you authentically. Masking who you are only delays potential rejection and makes it hurt more after emotional investment. Finding Your Community Rebuilding confidence requires "a hundred tiny steps," starting with finding places where you fit. Dr. Williamson recommends online communities, Discord channels, Reddit threads, meetup groups, and conventions where you can connect with others who share your interests and experiences. Creating Authentic Dating Profiles Rather than disclosing diagnoses, share characteristics: "I prefer direct communication," "I don't always get subtext," "I prefer texting over phone calls," or "I prefer small groups over big concerts." If someone can't meet you where you are during the "best behavior" phase, they likely won't later. The Core Message "It is not your job to make yourself smaller in order to make anybody else fit in. You can shine just as bright as everybody else." Connect with Kristen on Instagram
Take our Dating Confidence quiz here. Understanding Stage 5: The Mastery Phase If you scored mostly D's on our dating confidence assessment, you've mastered the fundamentals of confident dating with a disability. Stage 5 is about maintaining and evolving your dating confidence while helping others on their journey. This stage represents a shift from building confidence to sustaining it - making dating confidence a lifelong skill rather than a one-time achievement. It's about refinement, maintenance, mentorship, and preparing for deeper relationship skills. The Six Mastery Pillars Pillar 1: Strategic Evaluation Develop quarterly reviews of your dating strategies. Assess what's working monthly, review goals quarterly, and conduct annual deep dives into personal growth. Pillar 2: Social Circle Expansion Continuously expand your network through new disability advocacy groups, conferences, different social activities, and varied dating approaches. Try one new way to meet people each month. Pillar 3: Mentorship and Leadership Support others with disabilities starting their dating journeys. Volunteer to speak at events, mentor individuals, share your story online, or facilitate support groups. Pillar 4: Support System Maintenance Maintain regular check-ins with accountability partners and disability community friends. Develop reciprocal support relationships where you both give and receive guidance. Pillar 5: Gratitude Practice Keep weekly gratitude journals focused on dating skills gained and personal growth milestones - not just romantic outcomes. This prevents taking hard-won confidence for granted. Pillar 6: Long-Term Relationship Skills Develop advanced communication techniques, conflict resolution skills, and strategies for balancing independence and interdependence in partnerships. Your Stage 5 Indicators You're succeeding when you demonstrate consistent confidence regardless of relationship status, regularly contribute to others' success, maintain sustainable practices, and integrate dating confidence into overall life leadership. The Legacy Mindset Stage 5 shifts your focus from "How do I succeed at dating?" to "How do I maintain this success while helping others achieve it too?" Your personal mastery transforms into community leadership and systemic change. Remember, mastery isn't a destination - it's a commitment to lifelong learning, authentic growth, and generous sharing with others.
Upcoming Events 📅 ENROLLMENT CLOSING OCT 25 Dating Made Easier will be stopping open enrollment on October 25th! After that, we'll only open enrollment at specific times during the year. 🔥 DATING CHALLENGE: OCT 14-17 Get crystal clear on your dating profile and create a winning plan! 🎯 FREE WORKSHOP: OCT 21 "What to Do When Nothing Works in Dating" - This one's going to be GOOD! 🎁 SWEET OFFER COMING MID-OCTOBER for email subscribers only! Get on the list here. Trust me, you won't want to miss this amazing surprise! And don't forget to take our Dating Success quiz to see what stage you're in. Understanding Stage 4: Active Implementation Stage 4 transitions from preparation to practice—actively dating with intention, authenticity, and resilience. This phase combines foundation work, confidence, and strategic planning into real-world dating experiences. The Six Implementation Pillars Pillar 1: Strategic Platform Engagement Dedicate 30 minutes daily to thoughtful dating app interactions. Focus on quality over quantity, using prepared conversation starters and consistent disclosure strategies about accessibility needs. Pillar 2: Active Social Participation Join clubs, attend disability community events, volunteer, and participate in online-to-offline meetups. Build a rich social life that naturally creates connection opportunities rather than desperately seeking dates. Pillar 3: Leveraging Networks Have explicit conversations with three trusted friends or family about your dating goals. Request specific introductions, party invitations, and create a "dating support team" who understand your preferences. Pillar 4: Experience Documentation Maintain a dating insights journal. After each interaction, spend 10 minutes reflecting on what worked, what you learned, and potential adjustments. Track patterns and personal growth over time. Pillar 5: Celebrating Progress Recognize every step forward—sending vulnerable messages, authentic accessibility conversations, improved confidence—not just successful dates. Practice self-compassion during disappointments. Pillar 6: Maintaining Authenticity Stay true to your values and needs despite pressure. Continue disability disclosure without apologizing, advocate for accessibility, and practice saying no to incompatible situations. Measuring Success Stage 4 success means consistent engagement, authentic self-representation, graceful accessibility navigation, resilient responses to outcomes, maintained boundaries, continuous learning, and a fulfilling social life independent of romantic status. Core Message You're becoming someone who can build healthy relationships through practice in authenticity, communication, and resilience. Each experience is valuable regardless of romantic outcome. You don't need perfection—just authentic, consistent action.
Upcoming Events 📅 ENROLLMENT CLOSING OCT 25 Dating Made Easier will be stopping open enrollment on October 25th! After that, we'll only open enrollment at specific times during the year. 🔥 DATING CHALLENGE: OCT 14-17 Get crystal clear on your dating profile and create a winning plan! 🎯 FREE WORKSHOP: OCT 21 "What to Do When Nothing Works in Dating" - This one's going to be GOOD! 🎁 SWEET OFFER COMING MID-OCTOBER for email subscribers only! Get on the list here. Trust me, you won't want to miss this amazing surprise! And don't forget to take our Dating Success quiz to see what stage you're in. How to Write a Kick Butt Dating Profile guide Stage 3: Strategic Planning and Taking Action Stage 3 of the Dating Success Path is for those who've completed the foundational work of self-awareness and confidence building. This phase transforms internal confidence into a strategic, actionable dating plan that honors accessibility needs and authentic self-presentation. The Six Strategic Pillars Pillar 1: Platform Research and Accessibility Evaluation Conduct an "Accessibility Audit" of dating platforms examining technical features (screen reader compatibility, voice commands, text adjustment) and community culture (how disability is discussed, presence of inclusive language, anti-discrimination policies). Test platforms yourself rather than relying on stated features. Pillar 2: Developing Your Disclosure Strategy Create an "Authentic Disclosure Framework" with three tiers: visual representation in profiles, direct discussion of accessibility needs pre-meeting, and deeper conversations about disability experience during early dating. Develop practiced language for each stage. Pillar 3: Comprehensive Safety Protocols Establish both standard and disability-specific safety measures including disability-aware safety contacts, backup communication methods, independently researched venue accessibility, and emergency protocols that account for accessibility needs. Pillar 4: Realistic Budget Planning Account for standard dating costs plus accessibility-specific expenses like specialized transportation, backup plans, venue research time, and the "accessibility tax" of premium-priced accessible options. Pillar 5: Accessible Venue Research Build a personal database of verified accessible venues by calling restaurants directly, visiting locations during off-peak times, and connecting with local disability communities for recommendations. Develop backup venue options. Pillar 6: Creating Authentic Dating Profiles Craft profiles that naturally represent your full personality including disability without making it the central focus. Use photos in natural settings and conversation starters that reveal values about inclusion. The Stage 3 Mindset Shift This stage represents moving from "I hope this works" to "I've created systems for success." Strategic planning removes barriers that interfere with authentic connection, allowing you to focus on getting to know potential partners rather than constantly problem-solving logistics. Stage 3 Milestones Before advancing to active dating, complete: platform selection based on accessibility, clear disclosure strategy, comprehensive safety protocols, realistic budget, database of 10+ accessible venues with reliable transportation, and authentic representative profiles.
📅 ENROLLMENT CLOSING OCT 25 Dating Made Easier will be stopping open enrollment on October 25th! After that, we'll only open enrollment at specific times during the year. 🔥 DATING CHALLENGE: OCT 14-17 Get crystal clear on your dating profile and create a winning plan! 🎯 FREE WORKSHOP: OCT 21 "What to Do When Nothing Works in Dating" - This one's going to be GOOD! 🎁 SWEET OFFER COMING MID-OCTOBER for email subscribers only! Get on the list here. Trust me, you won't want to miss this amazing surprise! And don't forget to take our Dating Success quiz to see what stage you're in. Stage 2: Confidence Building and Resilience Training Stage 2 is designed for those who've completed foundational self-worth work but struggle to translate internal confidence into external action. This stage builds the resilience and social skills needed to navigate dating situations and handle challenges with grace. The Six Pillars of Stage 2 Mastery Pillar 1: Assertiveness Training and Boundary Setting Practice self-advocacy in low-stakes situations using the DESC method: Describe objectively, Express feelings and needs, Specify desired outcomes, and state positive Consequences. Start with non-dating scenarios like requesting accommodations at restaurants. Pillar 2: Rejection Resilience Through Role-Playing Systematically practice difficult scenarios with a trusted friend—insensitive questions, accessibility challenges, or potential rejections. Build go-to responses and recovery strategies. Pillar 3: Low-Stakes Social Confidence Building Engage in social "strength training" through low-pressure activities like hobby groups, volunteering, or community meetups. Focus on practicing small talk, handling accessibility needs, and building comfort in public spaces. Pillar 4: Personal Rejection Reframe Strategy Develop a "Reality Check Method" to avoid catastrophizing. Consider multiple rejection reasons beyond disability: incompatible values, timing issues, communication styles, or simple lack of chemistry. Pillar 5: Mindfulness and Anxiety Management Learn practical techniques like 4-7-8 breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and positive self-talk scripts. The goal is managing anxiety, not eliminating it. Pillar 6: Building Your Confidence Support Network Cultivate relationships for different support types: accountability partners, disability community friends, mentors, and professional counselors. Stage 2 Milestones Before advancing, demonstrate: confident self-advocacy in multiple settings, successful navigation of challenging social situations, effective anxiety management, recovery from rejection without spiraling, comfort in unfamiliar social activities, and a strong support network. Key Takeaway Confidence isn't the absence of fear—it's the ability to act authentically despite discomfort. Stage 2 builds resilience muscles through deliberate practice in challenging situations.
📅 ENROLLMENT CLOSING OCT 25 Dating Made Easier will be stopping open enrollment on October 25th! After that, we'll only open enrollment at specific times during the year. ✨ Why the change? So I can pour ALL my energy into getting our current members the dating success they deserve! But first... we've got some AMAZING things lined up for you! 👇 🔥 DATING CHALLENGE: OCT 14-17 Get crystal clear on your dating profile and create a winning plan! 🎯 FREE WORKSHOP: OCT 21 "What to Do When Nothing Works in Dating" - This one's going to be GOOD! 🎁 SWEET OFFER COMING MID-OCTOBER for email subscribers only! Get on the list here. Trust me, you won't want to miss this amazing surprise! 💌 Want to stay in the loop? Take our Dating Confidence Quiz [LINK IN BIO] to join our email list - that's where all the good stuff gets announced first!
Important Links Mentioned Take our Dating Success Quiz here. Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching, skills and resources to succeed in dating. Doors closing soon for new members. Join today. Sign up here to get notified about our upcoming free Dating Challenge and our free workshop on When Nothing Works in Dating on Oct 21. If you identify as being in Stage 1 of the Dating Success Journey, download this resource. Stage 1: Building Your Dating Foundation Stage 1 focuses on developing internal confidence before entering the dating world. It's about creating a healthy relationship with yourself first, not being "behind" or "unready." The Five Pillars of Success Pillar 1: Daily Self-Reflection Practice three daily questions: What do I value? What are my authentic interests? What do I want in a partnership? Commit to 5 minutes of morning journaling for two weeks. Pillar 2: Rewriting Internal Narratives Replace generic affirmations with targeted truth-telling. Instead of "I am lovable," try "My worth isn't determined by my symptom days" or "My disability experience taught me valuable relationship skills." Pillar 3: Disability-Positive Community Create a "Possibility Feed" by following accounts of people with disabilities thriving in relationships. This provides evidence that shifts thinking from "Who would want me?" to "What kind of person would match me?" Pillar 4: Professional Support Consider therapy if dealing with deep shame, trauma, limiting family messages, or difficulty distinguishing between realistic needs and unnecessary self-limitation. Pillar 5: Comprehensive Strengths Inventory Create a "Whole Person Asset List" including professional skills, personal qualities, and strengths gained from disability experience. The Fundamental Shift Stage 1 work transforms the core question from "Will someone accept me despite my disability?" to "Are we compatible?" This moves you from defensive validation-seeking to confident compatibility assessment. Ready for Stage 2? Complete Stage 1 when you can discuss your disability without shame, have clear relationship values, know your strengths, and feel excited about dating from curiosity rather than desperation. Timeline varies - sometimes months, others may need longer. The goal is building an unshakeable foundation for authentic, confident dating.
Russell's Background Russell Van Brocklen discovered his dyslexia in third grade and later audited law school classes despite having first-grade reading/writing levels. After successfully improving his skills, he developed programs to help dyslexic students, including one funded by New York State Senate that helped high schoolers jump 6-8 grade levels in writing within a year. Dating Strategy Framework Russell teaches a research-based approach adapted from "The Craft of Research" to overcome dating fears. The method involves: 1) Establishing context (e.g., "dyslexic person in mid-twenties afraid of rejection") 2) Simplifying to core problem 3) Identifying universal themes (like "fear" or "rejection") 4) Flipping negatives to positives and leveraging dyslexic strengths like intelligence and communication skills. Technology Tools For reading dating profiles: Speechify app, which offers premium voices that sound more natural than the free robotic version. For writing messages: ChatGPT Pro with specific prompts for warm, empathetic, and positive tone - Russell recommends using the advanced voice feature to dictate and refine messages through conversation. Alternative: seek advice from trusted friends in successful relationships, preferably meeting at public venues. Disclosure Timing Wait until after the third date to mention dyslexia. Most people won't notice initially. Let natural conversation reveal it rather than making formal announcements. Russell suggests gradually stopping use of assistive technologies so partners naturally pick up on differences. Long-Term Relationship Advice Partners should understand dyslexics think rapidly and scatter-brained, like "absent-minded professors." Key advice: let dyslexic partners express ideas freely without immediate organization, then help structure thoughts afterward. Dyslexics should identify their weaknesses and see if partners can shoulder those responsibilities while dyslexics handle their strengths. Contact dyslexiaclasses.com Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching, skills and resources to succeed in dating. Doors closing soon for new members. Join today. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate
The Friend Zone Challenge When you have a disability, society often categorizes you as the "inspiring" or "sweet" friend rather than a romantic prospect. The key is determining whether lack of romantic interest stems from genuine incompatibility or societal conditioning. Reading the Signals Look for signs of romantic potential: one-on-one time that feels different, meaningful physical touch, sharing personal details, interest in your dating life, and remembering important details. However, these could also indicate strong friendship. Essential Mindset Shift Approach from confidence, not desperation. Don't think "I hope they'll give me a chance despite my disability." Instead, think "I'm offering something valuable - are they interested?" Your disability doesn't make you less worthy of love. Three Strategic Approaches Gradual: Introduce subtle romantic elements and gauge their response Direct: Have an honest conversation about your feelings Test Date: Suggest a clearly romantic activity and see how they react Addressing Disability Concerns If you suspect your disability influences their perception, show them your confident, romantic side. Let them see you as someone with desires and relationship potential, not just a friend. The Conversation Choose the right moment, be clear about intentions, acknowledge the friendship's value, give them processing time, and address potential concerns directly. Handling Outcomes Whether they're interested, need time, or aren't interested - respond with grace. Real friends won't disappear because you expressed honest feelings. Your confidence in handling any response often strengthens the relationship regardless of romantic outcome. Taking Action Stop waiting for them to see you differently. Show them your romantic side, have the conversation, and remember: you're offering partnership, not asking for charity. Link to previous episode of More Than A Friend. Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Doors closing soon for new members. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate
Register here for the Loving Our Bodies Workshop. Growth and Expansion In just 2.5 years, Dateability has grown from 10,000 to 35,000 members. The platform is now launching an updated app to further support its mission of making dating accessible and inclusive for people with disabilities and chronic illnesses. Accessibility-Driven Features The app integrates specific accessibility features tailored for different disabilities, ensuring that users can engage in meaningful and equitable ways. This commitment to accessibility is central to its design and community approach. Building Community Beyond Dating Dateability goes beyond romantic connections by fostering a supportive space where individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses can find community, share experiences, and feel less isolated. Inspiring Success Stories Stories from users highlight how the platform has transformed lives—whether through finding love, friendship, or simply belonging. These stories continue to validate the mission in powerful and unexpected ways. Culture of Inclusivity Inclusivity shapes every aspect of Dateability’s culture. It drives how the platform is designed, how the community interacts, and how members feel welcomed regardless of ability or background. Overcoming Obstacles One of the biggest challenges has been breaking stereotypes and addressing societal misconceptions about dating with disabilities. Overcoming these obstacles has strengthened the team’s resolve and deepened their mission. Looking Ahead Future growth plans include expanding reach, adding new accessibility-driven features, and continuing to evolve the app so that more people can build authentic relationships in a safe, inclusive environment. Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate
Take The Dating Success Quiz here. Stage 1: Foundation and Self-Discovery Building your authentic foundation through deep self-awareness and self-acceptance. Key focus areas include understanding your inherent worth, identifying strengths and values, and developing a positive relationship with your disability or difference. Action items include practicing daily affirmations, engaging with disability-positive media, and joining supportive communities. Stage 2: Confidence Building and Resilience Developing unshakable self-confidence independent of external validation. This stage emphasizes handling rejection, receiving constructive feedback without personalizing it, and building resilience techniques. Recommended actions include practicing boundary-setting, role-playing difficult conversations, and developing effective dating profiles. Stage 3: Strategic Planning and Preparation Creating a personalized dating action plan that addresses accessibility, safety, and financial considerations. Key milestones include developing safety protocols for online and in-person dates, researching accessible dating apps, and deciding how and when to disclose your disability. Kathy recommends always having video chats before meeting in person and establishing clear safety plans. Stage 4: Taking Action Actively implementing your dating plan by engaging with potential partners through various channels. This "putting yourself out there" stage involves setting goals for initiating contact, joining dating apps, attending meetups, and expanding your social circle to meet new people. Stage 5: Refining and Sustainable Confidence Mastering your dating approach based on experiences from previous stages. This involves maintaining confidence regardless of outcomes, adjusting strategies based on learned experiences, and developing sustainable dating habits while working toward long-term relationship goals. Next StepsTake The Dating Success Quiz here to help identify which stage you're currently in and what would benefit you most in your dating journey. The framework is designed to be fluid, allowing movement between stages as needed. Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate
Register here for the Loving Our Bodies Workshop. This workshop helps you develop a healthier relationship with your bodies in the context of dating. Participants learn practical techniques for overcoming internalized body shame, distinguishing between body acceptance and broader self-love, and understanding how genuine self-worth creates more authentic and successful dating experiences. Through interactive exercises and group discussions, attendees leave with concrete tools to build confidence and attract healthier relationships. Learning Objectives: Acceptance and gratitude for the body you have Dealing with internalized body shame How love for one's body is different than love for self Why self-love is really so effective in dating Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate
Nicole Penrod is an associate marriage and family therapist in California's Bay Area. She has ADHD and is in a relationship with someone on the autism spectrum, bringing both professional and personal experience to neurodivergent dating and relationships. Deconstructing Harmful Messages Nicole introduces the "map of messages" exercise to identify sources of harmful narratives about normalcy. This involves mapping out all messages received about one's neurodivergence, examining their sources, and critically evaluating which beliefs to keep or discard. This helps separate inherited societal messages from personal truths. Building Counter-Narratives Using narrative therapy principles, Nicole suggests finding "unique outcomes" - moments when negative self-stories weren't true. By strengthening positive counter-narratives through evidence of resilience, capability, and support systems, the old harmful stories naturally diminish. Values-Based Dating Approach Instead of fear-based dating focused on potential rejection, Nicole advocates identifying core values (autonomy, generosity, kindness) and actively living them out in dating contexts. This shifts focus from "will they like me?" to "how can I show up authentically?" Vulnerability as Strength Vulnerability builds meaningful connections but requires practice and boundaries. Nicole suggests starting with small authentic shares and gradually increasing depth as relationships develop, always maintaining personal comfort levels. Attachment Patterns She identifies four attachment styles affecting dating: secure, anxious (reassurance-seeking), avoidant (withdrawal when close), and disorganized (conflicting behaviors). Understanding these patterns helps recognize relationship dynamics. Reframing Rejection Dating is described as "a losing game on purpose" where rejection provides valuable compatibility information. Each "no" brings you closer to the right "yes," making rejection part of the successful dating process. Dating as Self-Discovery Nicole's key advice: treat dating as an experiment in self-understanding and self-acceptance rather than choosing between self-work and finding love. Use dating experiences to practice being the person you want to be. Nicole Penrod's website Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate
Download Using AI to Meet People, the resource guide for this podcast. The Problem with Dating Apps Many people with disabilities find traditional dating apps aren't working well for them. The apps don't effectively showcase the fullness of a person, and people often want to meet others locally rather than hundreds of miles away. AI Solution for Meeting People In Dating Made Easier we have begun using AI to help members find local venues, events, and activities where they can meet compatible people in person. The more detailed information you provide to AI, the better results you get. AI Platforms Recommended Claude ChatGPT Google Gemini Privacy Warning Avoid sharing sensitive personal information like birth dates or exact addresses with AI platforms, as data may be retained even after deletion. Resource Categories Using AI to Meet People guide organized prompts by: Location-based meeting ideas Interests and hobbies connections Age and life stage considerations Values and relationship goal alignment Accessibility issues Disability community preferences Online to offline transitions Example Prompts "Suggest accessible social venues in [your city] where people with [disability type] can comfortably meet new people." "Suggest accessible cooking classes in [location] where I can connect with like-minded people." Important Notes Always fact-check AI-generated information Claude provides source links for verification The goal is expanding your world to meet new people Got a dating and relationship question? Submit it here and we'll offer an anonymous answer in a future episode. Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate
"Using the Let Them Theory for Empowered Dating" Workshop (August 6) Registration Link Eric McHugh co-created the dating app DATA.ING. The app auto-generates profiles and matches based on users' digital footprints by linking social media accounts, photos, and other data sources to create personality tags. How It Works Unlike traditional dating apps that rely on superficial swiping, DATA.ING uses AI called "Cupid" to create matches based on comprehensive personality traits. The app analyzes multiple data sources including Instagram, Pinterest, Gmail, and calendar information to build detailed user profiles with relevant tags. Benefits for People with Disabilities The app offers enhanced safety through multi-source verification, making fake profiles harder to create. It focuses on personality traits rather than appearance, helping highlight positive qualities that might be overlooked. Users can match with others who have similar or different abilities, and the AI provides guidance on respectful interactions. Key Features AI relationship butler that continues supporting couples after matching Dynamic profile updates through conversations with Cupid Ability to hide sensitive information while maintaining authenticity Location-based matching with customizable radius Compatibility scoring based on shared interests and traits Current Status The app has approximately 1,500 users, primarily in Los Angeles, with plans to expand based on download patterns. Currently available only on iOS App Store, with Android version in development. The team is considering desktop version for accessibility needs. Unique Value Unlike competitors incentivized by user churn, DATA.ING benefits from successful long-term relationships by serving as an ongoing relationship assistant, creating better alignment between business goals and user satisfaction. Resources Dataing Connect with Eric McHugh Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate
"Using the Let Them Theory for Empowered Dating" Workshop (August 6) Registration Link Dr. Victoria Mattingly, CEO of Mattingly Solutions, is an organizational psychologist and author who lives with bipolar disorder and alopecia. Her latest book "Work with an Ally, Act like an Ally" explores two-way partnerships in allyship. Allyship in Romantic Relationships Authentic allyship means taking action, not just identity. In relationships, this involves creating space, ensuring accessibility, and advocating for accommodations. Partners can leverage their privilege to support someone with a disability during challenging times. Empowerment Through Self-Advocacy People with disabilities should identify what makes them feel valued, respected, seen, and heard, then communicate these needs directly. This includes being clear in dating app bios about needs and expectations. Disclosure Strategy: Ownership Mattingly advocates for "owning" your disability rather than hiding it. She shares how she removes her wig during presentations, demonstrating confidence. When you're comfortable with your disability, it invites others to be comfortable too. Combating Internalized Ableism Viewing disability as a tool for navigating the world, not a limitation, helps reframe negative self-perception. Surrounding yourself with other successful people with disabilities helps challenge biased beliefs. Vulnerability as Strength Being vulnerable and authentic first creates space for others to do the same. This courage fosters deeper connections and mutual understanding in dating relationships. Creating Psychological Safety Drawing from workplace inclusion principles, successful dating requires creating environments where people feel safe sharing without fear of judgment or rejection. Connect with Victoria Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate
"Using the Let Them Theory for Empowered Dating" Workshop Registration Link Registration Fee: $10 Stop exhausting yourself trying to manage everyone else's comfort level in dating. This transformative workshop applies Mel Robbins' revolutionary "Let Them Theory" to dating with disability, teaching you how to preserve your emotional energy for people who actually deserve it. Instead of constantly educating, anticipating concerns, and managing reactions, you'll learn to let potential partners reveal their true character while you focus on building unshakeable confidence in your own worth. This isn't about lowering your standards—it's about raising them so high that only people genuinely ready for authentic partnership can meet them. What You'll Learn ✓ How to let people reveal their true character through their authentic response to your disability, gathering crucial compatibility information without exhausting yourself ✓ The mindset shift that preserves your emotional energy for people who demonstrate genuine acceptance and curiosity rather than judgment ✓ How to build worth that doesn't depend on others' recognition and let people miss out while you cultivate unshakeable self-confidence ✓ The strategy for letting others handle their own discomfort with difference, identifying who can grow versus who expects you to minimize yourself ✓ How to identify genuine capacity for growth and learning in potential partners without micromanaging their education process ✓ The approach to intimacy and relationships that lets partners come to their own conclusions about connection with you ✓ How to create space for people ready for real partnership by letting those who aren't equipped remove themselves naturally ✓ The framework for redirecting mental energy toward your own relationship goals while others reveal their authentic selves What You Get • Complete 30-minute workshop recording - Watch anytime, rewatch as needed • Downloadable presentation slides - Reference key concepts and takeaways • Reflection worksheet - Identify your relationship values and boundaries
New Feature Submit your question, dilemma, or challenge related to dating here and I'll answer it anonymously in a podcast. Let Them Reveal Their True Character Stop managing others' comfort with your disability. Let potential partners show who they are through authentic reactions. If someone is uncomfortable, dismissive, or makes thoughtless comments, let them reveal this incompatibility while you preserve energy for those who demonstrate genuine acceptance. Let Them Miss Out on Your Worth Rather than convincing others of your value, let people operate from their limited perspectives while you cultivate unshakeable self-worth. When someone can't see past disability to recognize your full humanity, let them reveal their narrow worldview while you focus on building genuine confidence. Let Them Handle Their Own Discomfort Instead of rushing to make others comfortable around disability, let them sit with their awkwardness. Allow people to voice concerns, ask questions, and learn to navigate difference rather than managing their emotional state. This reveals who can grow versus who expects you to minimize yourself. Let Them Show Growth Capacity Stop micromanaging others' learning about disability and accessibility. Let potential partners demonstrate initiative in understanding your needs, researching adaptive equipment, and creating inclusive environments. You'll quickly see who has genuine interest versus who expects you to do all emotional labor. Let Them Make Intimacy Decisions Don't overcompensate to prove your sexuality or relationship readiness. Let people express their actual thoughts about disabled people's intimate lives so you can address misconceptions directly or recognize incompatibility. Let Them Exit When Unready If someone isn't equipped for a relationship including disability considerations, let them remove themselves rather than minimizing your needs. This creates space for people genuinely ready for authentic partnership. Focus on Your Own Goals Redirect energy from controlling others' perceptions toward your own growth, communication skills, and relationship values. Resource for this podacst Thoughts on Becoming the Partner You Long to Be Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate
Today on the show, Violet Lange, a relationship coach, introduces The Goldilocks Method to dating. Violet overcame trauma and a difficult divorce to find lasting love. She has a deaf daughter with cochlear implants and combines practical strategies with spiritual approaches to dating. Healing Trauma & Attachment Issues Embodiment Practice: Place one hand on heart, one on belly, breathe, and say "I am safe, I am loved, I belong." This breaks mental loops and grounds you in your body. Overcome Fear of Abandonment: Be 100% committed to yourself. Test potential partners early with your truth, needs, and boundaries rather than hiding them. Say "I will never abandon myself." Core Dating Strategies Break Stuck Patterns: Stop people-pleasing and be authentic Express frustration when boundaries are crossed Be clear about what you want (Violet told her now-husband: "I want a committed partnership and to be a mom") Use Effective Boundaries: Say "That doesn't work for me" without lengthy explanations Address concerning behaviors directly Protect your energy from emotionally unavailable people The "Goldilocks Phase" Appreciate good qualities in people who aren't quite right. Think of relationships like pizza - you can have everything you want, but proportions may vary. Focus on whether core needs are met. Key Framework The Settling Paradox: The more you feel you need to settle, the lower quality matches you'll attract. Be clear and specific about what you want. Believe you're worthy of having it. Essential Principles: Be vulnerable and clear about desires Don't water down what you want Keep faith in love and yourself Remember: you're equally powerful as the dating process Contact Violet: violet@violetlange.com Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate