Dear Adult Daughter

Mentioned in this episode: When A Good Daughter Hates Caring For Her Aging Mother ~~~ Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped thousands of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth. Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective. Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women. She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to answer a few questions and she will be in touch!

Mentioned in this episode: The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal Why Rehashing The Past Doesn't Work Anti-Anxiety practice Move the Energy practice ~~~ Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped thousands of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth. Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective. Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women. She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to answer a few questions and she will be in touch!

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped thousands of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth. Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective. Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women. She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.  Interested in working with Karen? Click here to answer a few questions and she will be in touch!

I'm baaaaack. And I am calling this Season 2 :-) I learned something in the past year since starting this podcast: it's good for me to take time off from certain public-facing activities in the winter. So for future reference, I will be doing this podcast regularly* April - December. *"regularly" doesn't mean every week, it means mostly every week, sometimes twice a week and sometimes less than once a week. In this episode I share a super simple way to work WITH your nervous system when setting boundaries. We typically won't set boundaries not because we don't know the "how" but rather because our nervous systems perceive setting boundaries as a serious threat.

Mentioned in this episode: Why Re-hashing the Past Doesn't Work How We Fight, Flight, Freeze & Fawn in Difficult Conversations: Adapting A Learning Mindset ~~~ Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped hundreds of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth. Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective. Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women. She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing. Interested in working with Karen? Book your free clarity call by clicking here.

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped hundreds of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth. Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective. Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women. She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing. Interested in working with Karen? Book your free clarity call by clicking here.

Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped hundreds of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth. Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective. Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women. She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.

Click to send me a message and I will send you the two worksheets I mention in this episode. ~~~ Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped hundreds of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth. Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective. Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women. She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.

Mentioned in this episode: Sophie Sabbage's brilliant TEDx talk: How Grief Can Help Us Win ~~~ Karen C.L. Anderson is a master-certified life coach and author who has helped hundreds of smart, creative women use the difficult relationships they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth. Author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration (March 2018); The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal (January 2020); and Overcoming Creative Anxiety: Journal Prompts & Practices For Disarming Your Inner Critic (June 2020), Karen incorporates story-telling, journaling, awareness tools, shadow work, and simple energy and somatic practices in her Mother Lode 1:1 mentorship program. Her approach is safe, fun, and effective. Karen recognizes that what is possible personally is what is possible collectively, and that what is often referred to as the Mother Wound, is not actually about mothers, but about systems that oppress all women. She understands the adage, “hurt people, hurt people,” while also acknowledging that cultivating compassion and empathy does not necessarily equal access and that healthy boundaries (up to and including going “no contact”) are at the heart of healing.

Decide how you want to show up in the relationship. How often do you want to see and talk to her (if at all)? What boundaries are needed? How will you communicate them? Ask yourself how you need to feel in order to show up that way. Do shame, guilt, and anxiety help? Probably not, so what emotions, when felt intentionally, will help you show up as the grown-ass adult daughter you want to be (if that is how you want to show up)? What emotions will help you establish and maintain healthy, mature boundaries? Ask yourself what you need to believe in order to feel that way. Your thoughts and beliefs, and the identity you've created with those thoughts and beliefs, may not serve your goal. Knowing the story you have about who you are in relation to her allows you to change it. Everything else flows from there. That's it. This is totally doable on your own. If you'd like to speed up the process and have some compassionate accountability as you go, hire me as your guide and witness. The Mother Lode is a six-month 1:1 program designed to be a safe, compassionate container for you to do the most powerful and life-affirming work there is...and for me to see you as the person you want to be, not just in your relationship with your mother, but in your life. Reply to this email with questions or click here to set up a call to discuss working together.

The Lima Bean Story (podcast or blog) Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal Email me and I'll send you four of my favorite somatic practices Click here to schedule a clarity call. What happens on a Clarity Call? You share your story with me, you get clarity on your situation, and we identify next steps and obstacles that might be in the way. If appropriate, we can discuss working together.

Click here to schedule a clarity call. What happens on a Clarity Call? You share your story with me, you get clarity on your situation, and we identify next steps and obstacles that might be in the way. If appropriate, we can discuss working together longer term.

My clients are successful, creative women who establish and maintain healthy, mature boundaries; no longer rush to the less-than position in their relationships; and choose to express themselves clearly and cleanly. They have achieved a significant level of success by following the rules and now they’re choosing to be more authentic and vulnerable in public knowing they can handle haters and critics (even their mothers). There are two ways to do the work with me: The Mother Lode: is a six-month deep dive into your maternal lineage and more with the goal of revealing and healing painful patterns and stories, and transforming your legacy so you can show up in your life as the magnificent woman you are. This offer is for women who want to use the troubled relationship they have with their mothers as a catalyst for growth.They want to take their time and lay a solid foundation for their future selves. Boundaries For Life: is an 8-week intensive with the goal of establishing and maintaining healthy, mature boundaries. This offer is for women who want to get it done (and now is a perfect time, with the holidays right around the corner) especially if you tend to shrink back, crumple, fold, or hide the minute someone challenges your boundaries. Click here to schedule some time for a virtual coffee date (via Zoom) so we can explore what you’re wanting to accomplish.

This episode in response to questions asked about this episode: When you're accused of the thing you're most afraid of being accused of. Mentioned: The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris ~~~ My name is Karen C.L. Anderson and I am an adult daughter, with the emphasis on adult. I am also the author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration and The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing & Healing Toxic Generational Patterns. In this podcast I answer questions from readers, tell stories, give advice, and share the tools and processes I’ve used to heal my relationship with my mother. What started out as one of the most painful aspects of my life, something I saw as permanent and forever limiting, has turned into the greatest catalyst for my growth, wisdom, creativity, and joy. I did that. I do it every day. And so can you. ~~~ On the surface, you think it’s about your mother. Underneath, where it counts, it’s about you and your self-respect, self-trust, self-agency, and self-expression. Your grown-ass-womanhood. Your power, your choice, your creativity. When you own that (and owning it is a life-long process . . . not a one-and-done-flip-of-a-switch), you will realize that no matter what the status of relationship with her, your relationship with yourself will change in ways you can’t even imagine. Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.

My name is Karen C.L. Anderson and I am an adult daughter, with the emphasis on adult. I am also the author of Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration and The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal: A Guide For Revealing & Healing Toxic Generational Patterns. In this podcast I answer questions from readers, tell stories, give advice, and share the tools and processes I’ve used to heal my relationship with my mother. What started out as one of the most painful aspects of my life, something I saw as permanent and forever limiting, has turned into the greatest catalyst for my growth, wisdom, creativity, and joy. I did that. I do it every day. And so can you. ~~~ On the surface, you think it’s about your mother. Underneath, where it counts, it’s about you and your self-respect, self-trust, self-agency, and self-expression. Your grown-ass-womanhood. Your power, your choice, your creativity. When you own that (and owning it is a life-long process . . . not a one-and-done-flip-of-a-switch), you will realize that no matter what the status of relationship with her, your relationship with yourself will change in ways you can’t even imagine. Don't forget to send me your questions. I will answer them in an upcoming episode, anonymously, of course.

This is especially for you if you're creative, you want to help others, and you know that involves "putting yourself out there" and perhaps inviting criticism,

Mentioned in this episode: Dear Adult Daughter (With The Emphasis on "Adult"): the best of Karen’s Weekly Love Notes from the past five years. She answers questions from readers, tells stories, gives advice, and shares the tools she uses with her clients (and herself) to help them heal the relationships they have with their mothers. Get it by clicking here. Send me your question by clicking here.

...is deciding to have them! Want help? Boundaries For Life is an 8-week 1:1 intensive coaching experience that will help you decide which boundaries you want to establish and maintain, and then actually establish and maintain them!

Mentioned in this podcast:  11 Signs Your Mom Might Have Jealous Issues. Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters: A Guide For Separation, Liberation & Inspiration. Also check out Karen's Eight-Week Boundaries Intensive: Boundaries For Life.

Boundaries For Life: A Two-Month 1:1 Intensive for smart, creative women who struggle with setting boundaries (and not just with their mothers). :: Deciding what boundaries you want to establish and maintain. :: Communicating your boundaries effectively, either with your words, or with your actions/energy. :: Understanding your nervous system and learning to work WITH it instead of against yourself. :: Support in handling pushback, negotiations, etc. :: Laying a solid, repeatable foundation for boundaries you’ll establish and maintain in the future. We meet four times via Zoom (you’ll have the opportunity to record the calls if you’d like) and we'll have daily contact via Google docs where I will provide additional coaching, worksheets, resources, notes, action steps, tools etc. This offer is for you if… :: You know you need to set boundaries but aren’t sure how (or are afraid) to do it. :: You get pushback when you try to set boundaries. :: You aren’t able to maintain boundaries once you’ve set them. :: No one seems to respect your boundaries. :: You feel guilty and/or anxious when you think about setting boundaries. :: You are committed to your growth and trying new things. :: You want to GET IT DONE already. The investment for this offer is low four figures...a no brainer when you consider what a lack of boundaries costs in regards to your time, attention, energy, and creative expression. Send me a message if this sounds like something you'd like to pursue!