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Don't Change A Thing

Don't Change A Thing

Author: StyleLikeU

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Join hosts Elisa Goodkind and Lily Mandelbaum, the mother-daughter duo renowned for their groundbreaking YouTube channel StyleLikeU and 'What's Underneath' series, as they delve deep into the heart of radical self-love in an intimate filmed podcast. From cultural icons to lesser-known gems, each episode features a guest working to proudly embrace their identity through the lens of unapologetic personal style, challenging societal norms and owning their differences as superpowers.

Through candid conversations exploring themes of redefining beauty, dress as self-expression, and shedding shame, Elisa and Lily not only spotlight those who defy conformity but also unravel the complexities of their own evolving relationship in the name of self-acceptance.

42 Episodes
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Welcome to the relaunch of our podcast, with a new name, ‘Don’t Change a Thing’, sponsored by BetterHelp, the online, accessible therapy site. Visit Betterhelp.com/dontchange and use promo code: dontchange to try BetterHelp today.In our premiere episode, we sat down with the legendary B. Akerlund who has styled Madonna, Lady Gaga, Beyonce and more. We first featured her 10 years ago in our Closet series and caught up with her today to talk about aging, motherhood, her career, rejecting the pressures of productivity and more! Plus, we unpack key takeaways from B’s interview and explore additional insights you won't want to miss.Catch B’s extravagant looks in the video version of the podcast: YouTube.com/StyleLikeUFOLLOW STYLELIKEU: @stylelikeu Subscribe to our Newsletter: StyleLikeU.comFOLLOW B. AKERLUND: @bcompleted and www.bootzycouture.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In this week’s episode of our podcast, former Fashion Stylist turned Radical Dance Teacher, Kate Shela, wants to be seen for exactly who she is, no matter the “risk.” She exchanged her career in fashion and the dream of being a professional dancer (both paths that relied on achieving unattainable ideals of external perfection) for the rewards of healing herself and others as a teacher of the legendary 5 Rhythms dynamic movement practice, a method of dance that allows people to embody their whole, messy, imperfect selves. In keeping with her courage to tear off masks, Kate dared herself to see herself when she chopped off her hair on both sides and let it go grey, a turning point that had her feeling truly beautiful for the first time. Today, at 48, Kate feels as though she is just beginning, as she steps into the vulnerability of launching her own form of dance classes and immersions called The 360 Emergence: “The work is about how to help people come out of their own closet, their own spaces of shame, into a space of sharing and thriving.” From Fashion Stylist to Radical Dance Teacher, the topics covered in this episode include: Working in London’s fashion industry during the creatively expansive 1980’s Making the change from telling stories through clothes to telling stories through dance Overcoming negative self-talk Dance and creative outlets as saviors and overcoming shame How shaving your hair changes people’s perception of you Empowered at 48 years old and embracing gray hair Stepping into your calling by taking a risk The “problem” of being “too much” and not fitting into a box Being of service in your profession Starting your own business Stepping into courage and fear We’d like to extend a special thank you to sponsor, Mad Hippie, for supporting our movement and helping to bring this episode to life. Cruelty-free and committed to reducing the world’s carbon imprint, Mad Hippie believes that high-quality ingredients should be affordable and that taking care of your skin should be protective, nourishing and restorative. Like StyleLikeU, Mad Hippie was born with a “buck the establishment” manifesto and a belief that we must treat ourselves and our fellow beings with love and respect, regardless of gender, race, orientation, age, location...or even species. For one month following the release of this episode, Mad Hippie is offering StyleLikeU viewers 20% off of their orders by using the coupon code STYLE at checkout. https://www.madhippie.com/ If these stories are transformative on your own journey towards acceptance, please consider becoming a member of StyleLikeU on Patreon so that we can build a world where everyone feels comfortable and safe in their skin. To join the movement, head over to https://www.patreon.com/stylelikeu And if you know anyone who would be empowered by this story, please share and be a part of spreading the message that true style is the result of radical self-acceptance.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Elisa and Lily sit down with inspirational stylist, fashion consultant, author, magazine editor, and former co-host of What Not To Wear, Stacy London. Style by fire, Stacy’s trademark “Morticia” gray streak grew in when she was eleven and she has been refusing to hide it ever since. But it isn’t until turning 50 that she is actually having a midlife Renaissance in her Princess dresses and finally feeling a deep comfort in her skin. She is coming into her own having done life her way; not married, without kids and never having had a conventional job. This after a lifetime of eating disorders under fashions unforgiving lens as a Fashion Editor at magazines like Vogue and as a superstar TV host of “What Not To Wear.” “Beauty is about love and contentment,” is Stacy’s new mantra. This week’s topics include: reconnecting to personal style after What Not To Wear combatting the invisibility of women over 40 lost in your 20’s finding yourself at 50 feeling like you have to say yes when you should say no grieving a parent eating disorders and body dysmorphia menopause and self-acceptance through aging the humiliating pain of psoriasis Vogue and the fashion industry the brutally rigorous life of being a reality TV star This episode is brought to you by Chantelle Lingerie. Our listeners can take advantage of free shipping by going to chantelle.com and using the coupon code STYLE.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Their own hero, Janaya’s all-black uniform can be packed in 7 minutes flat in case they are called to the front lines as an activist and organizer, where they have the responsibility of redirecting rage and rallying community around politically and socially charged moments. You will also find them wearing black in the boxing ring, where they have learned to punch without apology and where they have found refuge as a black, queer, non-binary person in an inclusive space. Janaya’s heroic qualities are also pronounced by their title of Futurist, which was given to them by members of the Black Lives Matter chapter in Toronto (which they co-created). Janaya speaks to communities around the world about the need to communicate and listen to one another despite the insidious Racism, Bigotry, Transphobia, and Islamophobia that runs rampant in our society. Without communication, they believe we will stay in the same cycles of separation and segregation. Despite a traumatic childhood, or perhaps because of it, living to bridge differences and create more understanding between people of all walks of life is perhaps what most makes Janaya the superhero that they are. This episode is brought to you by Chantelle Lingerie. Our listeners can take advantage of free shipping by going to chantelle.com and using the coupon code STYLE.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Relinquishing shame and stepping into her fullest self is what impersonating others did for Chloe Fineman once she discovered comedy. But her journey to this comfort within only came after lots of zigs and zags. For years, Chloe struggled to fit into a traditional acting career that demanded she shrink herself both literally and figuratively to fit into a waify ingenue “hot girl box.” But a bout with anorexia followed by a chapter of overeating ice cream and blowing out her thyroid led to a dramatic weight gain that became the turning point in Chloe’s path towards fully owning her inner-clown. Today, with an arsenal of wigs, Chloe prides herself on the contribution to society that she makes by embodying the tragic flaws of problematic white women, like Ivanka Trump and Elizabeth Holmes. Feeling the most beautiful when she’s doing her work, Chloe is a tour de force of comic relief, healing pain with lots of laughs. “When I'm doing something where I feel like I'm talented when I'm doing the thing that I love to do and I know that I have a skill at...I'll usually feel really beautiful. I think that's a good way to navigate your relationships; who sees you as beautiful in that or who sees you in a selfie?” This episode is brought to you by Chantelle Lingerie. Our listeners can take advantage of free shipping by going to chantelle.com and using the coupon code STYLE.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Born in Kenya of Maasai and Kikuyu roots, Neema Githere has faced the harsh realities of growing up in racist America and, at 21 is proudly living the life of her choosing. With her crown of Bantu hair knots and rainbow braids, she had the smarts to get into almost every ivy league school from a small town in Colorado, where she was feared and fetishized for her difference. She later had the bravery to drop out of Yale in favor of a life outside the systems that oppress her, upon realizing that she was unhappy in an elitist academia that is the very bastion of colonialism. Already living the happy ending, Neema is learning about radical love and transcendence from the ancient philosopher Rumi as a means of dealing with the pervasive triggers of systemic racism, traveling to every corner of the world, and is a curator at The Africa Center in NY, where she curates the portal program, ’an internet you can walk through’ that allow us to connect to people everywhere, free from digital algorithms. “Not only is yale on stolen land but it is upheld by the labor of black people and by separating itself as an elite institution against the masses of people who lack access to these institutions. It became a lot for me to weigh in my head; how can I have this revolutionary heart and spirit and intention and still be so deeply entrenched in this institution that's trying to assimilate me into a place of "upwards class mobility" at the expense of my psychological health and cultural health.” This episode is brought to you by Chantelle Lingerie. Our listeners can take advantage of free shipping by going to chantelle.com and using the coupon code STYLE.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
The objectification of women, as represented by the sexualization and thus censorship of their breasts, is such a profound form of systemic oppression that Sister Leona sees no other route to liberation than to rip off her shirt, tap into her inner superhero and take to the streets in protest. Her goal is to get the Equal Rights Amendment into the Constitution and showing up topless outside of the Kavanaugh Supreme Court hearings and getting arrested is not Leona’s only rebel cry. A mustache and goatee that she draws onto her face exaggerate the extreme hypocrisy of what is acceptable for a man to do as opposed to a woman. And her flamboyant hats and swashbuckling trousers make it loud and clear (in the name of all women) that Leona will not be shamed for anything that makes her power and expression as a woman shine as bright as possible. “To sexualize means to make sexual. It's something you do to somebody else. And that's a choice. Guys are like, ‘Okay, well, what if I think that she's sexy?’ And I'm like, ‘It's okay what you think, but she doesn't need to know what you think. And also what you need to know is that she's a multitude of other things. Her sexuality is just one aspect of her being.’ Also, women's breasts have nothing to do with sex. All human breasts are categorized the same in medical science, which is as a secondary sex characteristic. That same categorization on men's breasts does not mean that they have to cover their breasts. So you can see it's just a means of oppression.’’ This episode is brought to you by Olie Biologique. Olie delivers the nutrients your skin craves fast. Save 20% with the code STYLELIKEU20.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Founder of The Wu Tang Clan, Rapper, Producer, Musician, Actor, Filmmaker, Author, Writer and soon-to-be creator of a TV show about his life, RZA (aka Robert Fitzgerald Diggs) is all grown up. From wearing army fatigues in the 90s, which represented the militant mindset that initially brought RZA to superstardom, the icon has emerged in 2019 as a Renaissance man who appreciates the reverence that comes with the occasional suit and tie. Among the many insights that RZA lets us in is on how he has remained comfortable in himself amidst the bright lights of Hollywood. Further, he shares how the passing of his mother brought him from the spiritual audacity of being lost in a God complex in his 20s, to the spiritually awake place he exists within now. “I think ‘comfortable’ is more like ‘at ease’ and when you’re ‘confident,’ you actually are not at ease. You are putting on a strength that you have to pump up for. ‘Comfortable’ is when could just fall asleep on a roller coaster… At the end of the day, I could care two cents less if you ever take a picture of me. I'm in this for the expression that was built in me. After everything that I've done in my life, and the moments of pride that I felt from my mom, being able to provide for my family economically, now it’s more for me to know that what I'm doing, each footprint that I'm putting down, is leaving a footprint for someone else to walk that path.” This episode is brought to you by Olie Biologique. Olie delivers the nutrients your skin craves fast. Save 20% with the code STYLELIKEU20 at https://www.amazon.com/oliebiologique.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Co-creator, writer and director of HBO’s High Maintenance, Katja Blichfeld shares the agony and ecstasy of what has been a lifetime of coming to terms with her queerness. After going to an Evangelical Christian school as a child, Katja deeply struggled to honor the natural impulses of her sexuality. In her mid-thirties, during her marriage to High Maintenance Co-Creator Ben Sinclair, a full-on depression (amidst the height of her career success and her dream job) propelled Katja to claim the truth of who she was. Now, with a skip in her step and in love with a woman, the baker-turned-casting director-turned-TV empresario vouches for the beauty of following your heart, twists and turns included. “It took me almost 40 years before I could be comfortable with the fact I'm a queer person...and because of my religious indoctrination, I think I was unable to be truthful with myself about who I really was and what kind of a life I wanted to live. That's the biggest way that rules and the binary and this whole notion of right and wrong have harmed me.” This episode is brought to you by Olie Biologique. Olie delivers the nutrients your skin craves fast. Save 20% with the code STYLELIKEU20 at https://www.amazon.com/oliebiologique.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In a world that is quick to judge and fear the other, Lebanese filmmaker Pam Nasr doesn’t want to overlook the many ways we can communicate and seek bonds without words, whether it be through the food we share or how we dress. When she walks down the street in bold colors or flaunting her strong legs, Pam’s style screams, “I love life” and “I want to connect.” Growing up in Dubai with a dad who gave her the space to push boundaries and wear mini-skirts in a country that is more conservative due to its tradition has given Pam the grit needed to take risks. After her initial soiree studying fashion in London, Pam followed her gut and moved without barely a moment of hesitance into filmmaking in New York to produce her first feature short, Clams Casino. Addressing the complexities of finding connection and expressing love, whether on social media or in real life, Clams Casino explores the tensions between a mother and daughter (mirroring her own personal story with her mom) through the lens of Mukbang, a phenomenon in South Korea where people seek intimacy though eating on the internet. “I love to be loud in the clothes I wear. I love that if I'm wearing a jacket you could see it across the room or across the street because, hopefully, it creates an interaction with someone...when you're not pushing people away you are in this world together that automatically means that you love the world, you love your life if you love people, because we don't live alone in this world.” This episode is brought to you by Olie Biologique. Olie delivers the nutrients your skin craves fast. Save 20% with the code STYLELIKEU20 at https://www.amazon.com/oliebiologique. stylelikeu + instagram + youtubeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
“When is it enough?” Amy Yeung has been asking herself this since becoming a mom 18 years ago. Now 55, Amy feels like she is a “naked baby chasing butterflies…every day is so much fun.” Amy already knew how to build success the consumerist way, with a big-brand career designing fast fashion destined for landfills. But following a breakthrough moment in the Moroccan desert, she turned her back on being a designer of disposable fashion in favor of creating success with a conscience. Her company, Orenda Tribe, upcycles old textiles and reimagines vintage. Creating her own smaller, sustainable business has given Amy the wings needed to pursue her greatest calling, using any excess funds made from her sales to give back to the grave and underexposed inequities of her Navajo community. And by way of her giving back, re-integrating with her indigenous origins and family has set Amy onto a path of possibly her greatest healing, one of decolonizing herself and re-connecting to her roots that were once lost when she was adopted as a baby. “Part of my brain operates on success and trying to push ahead and make things bigger. I meditate every day on how to keep it small because enough is enough. We don't need to have these huge houses and these huge lives. If anything, I'm trying to make my life smaller and smaller and more meaningful as I get towards the end and think if I have less stuff I can give more of myself.”See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
From her grade-school role of “goth weirdo” among a sea of blond hair and floral dresses to playing a myriad of stereotypical Asian-best-friend parts in Hollywood, Korean-American actress and performance artist Vivien Bang has struggled to be seen and heard for who she is. It wasn’t until Vivien began to listen to her inner voice, which included a deep dive into her roots, that she came to realize that she could be the hero of her own story. This super power has guided her to release traditional binds of security and redefine success on her own terms. Now secure in the insecure, Vivian has had the courage to make the choices that scare her the most, walking away from the man she loved because she didn’t want children, instead manifesting White Rabbit, the movie she made about her life, which debuted at Sundance in 2018. “For so long I've been trying to take up space and to be heard, you know? I mean, it's funny because like, I think in the beginning my struggle was like, to figure out what I wanted to be, like what I wanted to say. And then so much of my time was like, "How can I be heard? How can I be seen?" And right now I'm in this like, weird phase of, I just want to kind of listen, you know, like, have a deeper sort of listening of what, I don't know, the universe wants to tell me what I'm trying to tell myself.”See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
23-year-old cultural activist Kamil Oshundara invites you to judge her by her cover. An open book when it comes to expressing herself, Kamil’s body is her altar and she is continually designing it as a means of altering perceptions and making it clear that she is her own person and not anyone’s product. With a rage that is love, Kamil’s authentic tattoos, markings, jewelry, and piercings, honor the richness of indigeneity, her Yoruba religion, her ancestry, gender fluidity and a “don’tmess” confrontation with Western beauty standards. A spoken wordsmith, queer curator, and cultural exec at Monkeypaw Productions (‘Get Out’ and ‘Blackkklansman’), Kamil’s life is her art. Likening herself to a tree with her emerald green hair as the canopy, her brown skin as the bark, her feet planted on the ground as her roots, and her strong branches that cannot break, Kamil knows who she is. “A lot of people say, ‘don't judge a book by its cover.’ It’s a very popular saying but I always say that I design my cover to be read very intentionally. I want you to be able to get a pretty good sense of me. I'm very comfortable with writing on my walls and revealing myself. Showing is radical. I'm never trying to hide. You can't unsee me. I’m here.”See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Often while riding her Harley Davidson and always driven by her immense love for this planet and the cultures that inhabit it, there is almost no wild and untouched place on this planet to which Betsy Huelskamp has not traveled. Despite having practically no time to train, and facing life-threatening hostility from the men around her, she reached over 27,000 feet on Mount Everest. In this episode, Betsy talks to us about the Death Zone on Everest, the life-changing empowerment of riding a motorbike, the devastating losses of loved ones she’s experienced along the way, and how her faith keeps her tirelessly pushing boundaries. For Betsy, getting older means growing into her freedom, even if it comes with a price. “People see me as being this wild easy going free spirit. But "free" has a price and you can't be free, truly free if you're trapped in your own body's prison. You can't be free if you're addicted to something that controls you, like drugs. You can't be free if you're in a marriage that is somehow turning into your jail. So for me, I'm always focusing on keeping my little girl free.”See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Superstar fashion stylist turned apothecary healer, Lysa Cooper, reminds us of the authentic New York of yesteryear, a time when phones were at home and ‘living in the moment’ was the only place to be. A time when style had less to do with shopping than enhancing our experience of ourselves and those around us. She talks candidly about leaving home at 14 for the Big Apple in the 90’s, the pitfalls of our modern celebrity-and-phone-addicted culture, and starting a whole new chapter in her 50s. “I've already been at the best party. I've already had the best lovers. I've done it all and the only thing that now impresses me is the new, the invigorating, the enlightened, and the light itself. So, in relationship to me also starting a new career, I'm looking for a new perspective in community and love and even in a partner.”See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Ilma gore is an Australian-American artist and activist whose work is such a true expression of who she is that she is willing to be banned from the internet and beaten up for her beliefs when it comes to her art. The loss of her parents, a home and any sense of stability at a young age is what she attributes to her ability to be so liberated in her life from fear. “Life and death are the same to me,” Illma states. Some of her political-centered work hones in on the obsessive significance placed on our sense of self-worth based on our body parts. Well known for her highly provocative portrait of President Trump with a small penis, Illma explains that it is not about degrading Trump, but exploring the enormous significance placed on the size of his, or anyone’s, genitals, as a sign of power and status. “I think that we put a lot of pressure on what we look like...there's so much tied to it, especially with women and the oppression of women and skin color. Everything has to do with stereotyping and the way we look and these pieces of my art are supposed to be a direct recreation of that exact reaction.”See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Ty Defoe is an Ojibwe and Oneida grammy award-winning performance artist, activist, and writer who identifies as Two-Spirit. In Native American cultures, not only is it acknowledged that gender is more fluid than our patriarchal binary society allows, but Two-Spirit individuals are also highly revered for their spiritual gifts. In this episode, Ty talks to us about the difficulty of being accepted as Two-Spirit, even within his own culture, as a result of colonialistic and religious brainwashing, whilst recalling the tender way his mother observed his body change with testosterone hormone therapy. Ty challenges the assumptions about classic literature (who is Shakespeare a classic for, anyway?), asks why hair should be an indicator of gender, and inspires us all to look more closely at the way we label ourselves and those around us. “People build fences and boxes and walls to keep the truth out.” “Examining self and examining what you're taught always stirs the pot a little bit...But I think that's what people who are making art, people who are two-spirit, who are queer, who are on the margins, are on the fray, I kind of feel like, that's the role, to make this revolution happen.”See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Dana Falsetti, speaker, writer, yoga teacher of larger bodies, and body positive insta-warrior visionary on a mission to make the world a more accessible place, talks about how her yoga practice was born out of a need to prove herself but quickly grew into something much bigger than that, even steering her away from the legal profession path she was on. We discuss the double-edged sword of social media commodification and why Dana felt the need to take a break from Instagram, and how perilous fat-phobia is in the medical world where people are told to “just lose weight” as a cure-all rather than looking beyond the body to find an accurate diagnosis. Dana also reveals to us how her teenage body was both shamed and desired:  “My body changed very quickly when I was young. So by the time I was 12, I literally looked like I was 19 or 20, and I had a very adult kind of curvy body. I had full breasts and hips and everything. And while I'm getting fat-shamed by every person in my life, the only people giving me attention were men. So it just very quickly became the path for like, "Oh, you see me, so I'm going to you." But all the while, still insecure about the body, still feeling that same shame but seeking that route. Of course, it never filled me in any way and actually, I'd feel worse after every single time. But I never saw that I was in that pattern until I started my [yoga] practice and had that mirror and I was like, "Wait a minute, what am I doing?" And I just stopped. I was like, "No more of this until I understand why I'm having sex with people at all. Like, why am I doing this?" And that's the question for everything that I do now, is just the WHY.” See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
From being a fashion director for W Magazine to studying yoga and opening her own studio, to growing pot in Northern California, to making a spontaneous move to the magical, middle of nowhere in Uruguay, Heidi Lender has lived many lives. After years of following the dreams and wishes of the men in her life, in the last seven years, Heidi has had a slow and uncomfortable awakening to the fact that over time she had developed a pattern of dimming her own light in exchange for pleasing her partners. Now, at 50, she is, at last, giving birth to her calling and coming to terms with the fact that she isn’t going to fulfill her princess motherhood fantasy. Happier than ever, Heidi is single and breaking her fear of success by creating Campo, a new, global creative hub in South America. “I really fell hard and quietly and I never do things quietly but I really kept it to myself. I didn't necessarily want to be a mother but...there was a moment when I thought, ‘Oh my God. Well, then, what am I, as a woman? Who am I? What am I going to be? If I'm not going to be a mom?’ And I really just fell hard and sad and I had no idea. It was so traumatic because I didn't know that I had this princess mother thing inside of me...The Universe was like, ‘Here Heidi, you better just take a deep look at who you are because you've got however many years left and you can't go on like this, being asleep.’ I was asleep. Ironically, I actually thought I was awake. I was studying yoga and I was super self-aware and I really thought, ‘Wow, I’m such a smarty-pants,’ but I really was asleep.”See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Singer, dancer, and fashion designer, Wunmi, short for Ibiwunmi, meaning “a birth loved, a child loved, a life loved”, is a force of nature, but it took her a long time before she felt she could step into her name and really own it. Abandoned by her mother and sent to live with family in Nigeria by her father, Wunmi grew up fantasizing over and yearning for her mother’s love. Feeling deeply lost and invisible, clothing and dancing became a way for her to be seen, “I didn't want to dress like anybody else. I didn't want to dance like anybody else. I didn't want to sing like anybody else. I needed to find me because I felt so lost. I wasn't somebody that felt was wanted initially, so I need to be needed.” It was acting on this deep-rooted desire that got Wunmi noticed by Roy Ayers and led to her becoming the iconic dancing silhouette on Soul II Soul’s biggest hits in the late 80s (Back to Life, Keep on Moving). It was also Roy Ayers, her Fairy Godfather, who persuaded Wunmi she could sing, and it is through a continuation of all these expressions, singing, dancing, and style, that Wunmi was able to heal her wounded child and declare, “Wunmi Ibiwunmi is finally grown.”See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Comments (25)

Alice Haughton

This podcast was so beautiful, wise and thought provoking. I'm going to re listen and make notes! Thank you 💓

Jan 27th
Reply

Christina Womacks

I have struggled with severe BDD since childhood. I turned 40 and I am really having to face this illness once again. I relate to you Stacy so much. thank you thank you. very helpful.

Dec 22nd
Reply

Steve Harrison

a bunch of self absorbed humans..who get wasted on champas to escape reality..thank you.

Oct 30th
Reply (1)

Bojana Đorđević

Girls, this was a very emotional episode, congrats on picking the guest! I just wanted to comment on the way you were asking questions: sometimes it seemed like you weren't really listening to her and respecting some of the deep emotions she was expressing. It seemed like you were asking preprepared questions rather than going with the flow of the conversation and that to me was disturbing at times. Other than that, great episode!

Jun 17th
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Sheila Flecha

Respect to her! im glad she find her true self, and got liberated! 😊😍

Oct 1st
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Marteen Jackson

loved this so much. Lorri is so private, it makes her so interesting. I just love her soft voice, and love what she did for Damien. thank goodness for her

Sep 11th
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Masha Druzhinina

yet another perfect story of an ultimate inspiration <3

Aug 13th
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Emma Belsham

this was beautiful. thank you

Jul 30th
Reply

Azadeh Ghavamrad

That I love you Jacob (and want to meet you and be your friend), is an understatement. The things you say, the way you say them, the way you see what you say, is the most honest, important and heartly (healthy/heartfelt) way I have ever been exposed too ever! I almost cant (but I try to) express how much you, and what you say, and the human being you have become and still becoming, mean to me. And that Lilly and Elisa are who they are and bring forth this conversation, and all the other conversations, the importance off this cant be stressed enough. I would love too be in this room with you and a part off this conversation with you, Lilly and Elisa ❤️ free yourself and heal.

Jul 17th
Reply

Jessica Xu

yes!!!!!!!! i agree w this so muchhhhhh!!!! <3 nothing is boring!!!

Jul 5th
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Teri J. Bond

"We are not going to become visible in all our power as older women until we stop doing it (coloring our hair, botox, face lifts, etc.)." Excellent episode. So many important points made. Thanks! Brava!

Jul 4th
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FWFRANCHISE

sounds awful who cares

Jun 29th
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Marta Kozielczyk

Great content. I truly love your work. Every time I'm watching your videos or listening your podcasts I feel more than ever grounded and in touch with myself. You really make a change in the world.

Jun 23rd
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Valentina Pavlovic

This was so relatable and so powerful! Its really revolutionary! Also, this guy was straight up telling you LITERALLY the things I’m trying to figure out the last couple of years and we have the same perspective, I was creeped out with how similar his thoughts process was to mine but blown away at the same time.. loved it!!!!

Jun 15th
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Chioma U.

❤️ This was AMAZING made me cry a little I kinda feel lost within myself, but I am liking this podcast!!

Jun 11th
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Chioma U.

This was sooooooo inspiring I agree with what you said Ms. Elisa I do enjoy vintage clothing 70's, 80's 90's as a 20 something year old woman. I wonder what we can do to change or realistically what I can do to stay innovative and standout from a society that values money and conformity. I am really glad I decided to listen to this it has been a while.

Jun 7th
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Azadeh Ghavamrad

Thank you for this 👩🏽‍🎤

Jun 3rd
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Leilani Lanuza

amazing

May 31st
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Masha Druzhinina

I thought your videos and podcasts just couldn't be more sincere and profound, but they actually can :) I am so grateful I stay connected to you on Instagram ,and YouTube and now here. I do want to tribute and thank you for the work you have done and continue to do, so the least I can do is to buy your book. You make my day every day you release something. Please, flourish and bloom, you are amazing people.

May 25th
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Masha Druzhinina

Hello, girls. I follow you everywhere possible and enjoy starting my week with your ideas and inspiring speeches. Utterly greatful here!

May 14th
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