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Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show

Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show

Author: Rhoberta Shaler, PhD

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Emotional Savvy: The Relationship Help Show. Expert guests & tips for getting along with the humans you care about.


Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor offers a wide range of advice on improving the way you navigate life with others. Whether at home, work or play, dealing with humans can be tricky. Learn how to do it well and increase your love, trust and emotional intimacy for more fulfilling relationships.

64 Episodes
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How to Have the Best Divorce From a Narcissistic Hijackal GUEST: Jason LeVoy
Best divorce possible from a narcissistic Hijackal? Does such a thing exist? Stay tuned. Yes, divorce is often messy, and definitely messier when there is a difficult person, or a toxic person involved, those people I call Hijackals®! All divorces--in my opinion--go in two clear ways: one end is a Divisive Divorce, and the other end is the Collaborative Divorce. There is a third that takes in the benign, neutral space in the middle that some people wander in, too. If you're divorcing--or, divorced from--a narcissist, a Hijackal, you're definitely going to be on the Divisive end. That's because Hijackals MUST win, and divorce doesn't feel like that. So, the Hijackal wants to win every way to Sunday IN the divorce. That creates divisiveness, for sure, and also pain, stress, anxiety, and too much uncertainty and chaos. Nasty, but true. Listen to these suggestions I have in the first part of today's episode of Emotional Savvy, and see how you could move towards a more collaborative arrangement--IF you're not an ex of a Hijackal, that is! GUEST: Jason Levoy, The Divorce Resource Guy, and former divorce attorney.Jason Levoy aka The Divorce Resource Guy, is a former divorce attorney turned divorce coach who works with people who have attorneys, or are representing themselves to get through the divorce process as quickly as possible, without spending thousands of dollars wasting time. Jason is the creator of DivorceU, the most comprehensive and affordable divorce resource on the internet. In today's conversation, Jason and I discuss the pitfalls of divorce, and how to prepare to avoid them. Especially when you've divorcing a relentlessly difficult person, you need these particular insights we're sharing today. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Need to know things that make divorcing a narcissist differentWays you can recognize that you're dealing with narcissism during a divorce (...just in case you weren't sure, right? lol)Why preparation is particular important BEFORE you say you want a divorceWhat preparation is required to divorce a narcissistHow to best shortcut the divorce process when a narcissist, a Hijackal, wants to make the divorce process last as long as possibleHow to save money on legal bills in a divorce FREE GIFT FROM JASON LEVOY:ebook: Tips on How to Co-parent with an A-Hole GET IT HERE!CONNECT WITH JASON LEVOYWebsite: JasonLevoy.comTwitter:  @JasonLevoyFacebook: Facebook.com/YourDivorceResourceLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/JasonLevoyInstagram: Instagram.com/JasonLevoyCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?You can. CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #emotionalintimacy #divorcinganarcissist #difficultdivorce #saveonlegalbills
What's the Relationship Between Autoimmune Conditions & Emotional Well-being  GUEST: Sharon Sayler
Do you think that there is a connection between what goes on in your emotional life and what goes on in your body?You betcha! Today's episode starts with me giving you some insights into the hows, whys, and benefits of creating uninterrupted time in your life frequently. Do you do that? Most people don't, so take this in. It can make a HUGE difference in your feeling of well-being!When you have difficulties--especially chronic stress and anxiety--from being raised by, living with, or leaving toxic people, #Hijackals, you are likely to have health issues. When you're young, you may not notice the cumulative effects so much. You may be unhappy, irritable, or feeling defeated, but your body is more resilient...for awhile.As you stay in these toxic relationships, or at least, don't fully realize the toll these relationships have on you, you may well begin to experience small breakdowns in your body. You lose energy, feel fatigued, and don't bounce back as you used to. That's the beginning of more difficulties to come...if you stay. Often, when you go to the doctor and describe this general malaise, the doctor will tell you that it's all in your head. In a way, that's true because you are experiencing emotional issues from destructive relationships. But, you're not crazy, or mentally unstable.It's true, though, that when these conditions persist, you feel like you're living in a fog, surrounded by pain, unable and unwilling to participate.fully in life. Sound familiar? Time to change your mind, and today's episode of Emotional Savvy will definitely help. Today's we'll explore the connections between emotional well-being and physical well-being, between the damaging effects of unhealthy relationships and the potential for autoimmune conditions.DISCLAIMER: Neither my guest, Sharon Sayler, nor I are medical doctors. We are talking about other people's research and our own anecdotal experiences with clients, listeners, and friends.GUEST: Sharon Sayler, Producer and Host of The Autoimmune Hour on Life Interrupted and creator of UnderstandingAutoimmune.com Sharon Sayler is an international bestselling author and speaker known as the difficult people whisperer, and is listed on GlobalGurus.org as one of the top 20 worldwide for body language.She also happens to be the host of the #1 show on OMTimes Radio, The Autoimmune Hour, where she offers hope and help for those with autoimmune conditions. Her own experience dealing with a rare medical condition propelled her to create The AutoImmune Hour to support others to become informed, courageous, and powerful self-advocates as they turn life's traumas into transformations regardless of their diagnoses.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE: What is the connect between intention and physical healthHow to think about what you think about that might need changingSharon's experience with her own medical journeyCompliance vs non-compliance as patientsThe power of the mind and the decision to put yourself firstTaking powerful steps to improve autoimmune conditionsCONNECT WITH SHARON SAYLERWebsite: UnderstandingAutoimmune.comTwitter:  @SharonSaylerFacebook: Facebook.com/SharonSayler LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/SharonSaylerInstagram: Instagram.com/SharonSaylerCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerWANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?You can. CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE!Free Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #emotionalintimacy #autoimmunedisease #SharonSayler #understandingautoimmune
How to Create the Intimacy You Crave Without the Fear  GUEST: Allana Pratt
In today's episode, I'm talking about what it takes to get past the fear of intimacy that a past relationship has taught you. It happens so often, doesn't it?You fall in love, and really trust someone. You are tell them your secrets, and share your vulnerabilities. You so want to have that one person you can share life with, warts and all. You want to believe you are safe.Sometimes, you are safe, and it all works beautifully. It deepens, grows, and enriches over your time together.Then, there are the times where you share deeply, and the other person uses what you said, turns your fears into weapons, and beats you with them in future arguments. Does that sound at all familiar?You can recover from this nonsense, pain, and trepidation. Really! You can. I'll give you some hints, and so will today's guest.GUEST: ALLANA PRATT, Intimacy Expert Wow! So delighted to have Allana on Emotional Savvy! She's a delightful spirit and a lovely friend, as well as a colleague helping folks to grow past the pain.Allana Pratt is an Intimacy Expert--on all levels. She inspires open-hearted, unapologetic living, and does it, as she says, "with delicious sass!" Her inspiring vulnerability and courage has landed her a featured weekly column on the GoodMenProject.com , featured as an Icon of Influence, and as guest expert on CBS, TLC, FOX, Forbes, People Magazine, and Huffington Post.Were you wondering why to listen? After reading that, any questions...lol?Allana is a cum laude graduate of Columbia University, and the author of four books. She hosts the empowering podcast, Intimate Conversations, with guests like Grammy-award winning Alanis Morissette. Allana is a certified coach, and was invited to work with Leeza Gibbons during Dancing with the Stars. With over 3.7 million viewers on YouTube, Allana is the go-to authority when struggling to trust again after a harsh breakup so followers can create hot, healthy, thriving intimate relationships.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What happened to Allana at 16 years old that changed everythingHow to move towards vulnerable, honest, transparent relationshipsWhy Allana knows the Universe caresHow to live an unapologetic life after being with a #HijackalWhy moving past the bad stuff is a choice and how you can make itWhat can be learned from a nasty divorce, and difficult custody battleLearning to trust yourself after divorceEmpowering yourself to live fully CONNECT WITH ALLANA PRATTWebsite: AllanaPratt.comTwitter:  @AllanaPrattFacebook: Facebook.com/CoachAllanaPrattLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/AllanaPrattInstagram: Instagram.com/AllanaPrattCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®WANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS?You can. CLICK HERE And, get my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy via email FREE! If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #emotionalintimacy #fearofintimacy #AllanaPratt #intimacyexpert #intimaterelationships
Great Relationships Require Trust. How Can You Build & Rebuild it? GUEST: Scott Schilling
In today's episode, I'm talking about what you really need to have if you want a great relationship. If you have the ingredients, you can put them into the relationship. If you're missing them within yourself, and you go looking for them in another, you won't be able to have the relationship you know you want. You've heard me say many times that you cannot give a gift you do not have. That applies to relationships, too. What you put into it is so important.How have your past relationships taken a toll on your current one? I give an example of a couple I worked with and how this was the biggest issue between them. Yay! We resolved it. You'll want to hear this, and understand more fully what might be going on in your relationship.Blame? No, that doesn't work. You know that. You don't like to be blamed, so that means you don't blame others, right? Oops! Learn more about this, too, in today's episode.(If you enjoy this topic, please go to my show page on Facebook and let me know, or leave feedback or ask questions about any topic I've covered there. I'll see it, and respond. I promise. Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpShow )GUEST: SCOTT SCHILLING, The Significance Expert and Co-Founder of YouPlus1 Scott Schilling has achieved the pinnacle of success within the speaking, training and business coaching industries having achieved the top platforms worldwide sharing the stage with likes of General Colin Powell, Suze Orman and many more. He has personally closed millions of dollars in business, while helping clients grow their businesses closing hundreds of millions. He has helped countless numbers of people find success within their businesses, and passions. Scott’s reach spans the globe and his time is sought after by people all around the world. Scott reminds us that,"Legacy is not what you have accumulated throughout your life to leave behind once you pass...it should be what you are known for as you live!"Today, I'm engaging Scott in a conversation about trust. Scott says,"Relationships take time, energy, and investment. In order to truly create a prosperous relationship, others must know, like and trust you. Because we live in an immediate gratification society, many people are not willing to put in the time, energy or investment to earn others trust. Trust is hard to earn and easily lost...but it is imperative that others trust you to have a true relationship." This is a very in-depth conversation. Get yourself a cup of something warm, and settle in for a deep listen! HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What can you do when trust is brokenNew thoughts on why trust is so critical to relationshipsWhat congruence has to do with rebuilding relationshipsHow feedback can be used to improve relationshipsGetting clear within yourself to have the relationship you wantWhat Scott Schilling learned from Talking with Giants and what you can, too.CONNECT WITH SCOTT SCHILLING Website: ScottSchilling.comTwitter:  https://twitter.com/ScottSchilling8Facebook: Facebook.com/ScottSchilling8LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/ScottSchilling8Instagram: https://instagram.com/ScottSchilling8CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®WANT TO ASK ME QUESTIONS AND HAVE DIRECT ACCESS TO ME IN MY SECRET (Off Facebook) GROUPS? You can. CLICK HERE If you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #emotionalintimacy #healingtrauma #buildingtrust #ScottSchilling
Speaking Up! Escaping Domestic Abuse: What It Takes & Why It Takes So Long GUEST: Mickie Zada
In today's episode, I give you some new perspectives--and effective words to say--when people treat you in ways you do not appreciate. For many listeners, "ways I do not appreciate" usually come from one particular person, a #Hijackal®. Whether that is true for you or not, you want to feel and be confident that you can trust yourself to speak up when someone says something rude, wrong, or abusive, without concern that you will turn into a blaming, shaming, or abusive person yourself. That's the goal of my segment today.Learning to respond from your best self rather than lose it and react is a skill! The ideas I've shared here really work. I hope you find them useful immediately for dealing with unexpected hostility, rudeness, and the desire of a Hijackal to squish you like a gnat!(If you enjoy this topic, please go to my show page on Facebook and let me know, or leave feedback or ask questions about any topic I've covered there. I'll see it, and respond. I promise. Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpShow )GUEST: MICKIE ZADA, Advocate for women who have escaped emotional abuse. Mickie Zada, lived in domestic abuse for thirty-four years. In spite of enduring emotional, financial, and physical abuse, for twenty-three years she pretended her life was "normal." Even after admitting her reality, it took eleven more years to leave.Mickie got help from both an experienced counselor, and a psychologist who understood the issues and depth of domestic abuse, who realized and recognized the verbal abuse, emotional abuse, AND the domestic abuse she lived with. She wisely gave herself five years of time to gather, embrace, and apply personal growth insights, understanding that, if she didn't change, she would return to her abuser or attract another abuser.Sixteen years later, Mickie is now a content creator, catalyst, and advocate for women who have escaped domestic abuse. Her business, Surviving Abuse Network, includes weekly podcasts, live videos, and articles created to support and inspire women who have escaped.Mickie's first book, Looking Behind Closed Doors: Domestic Abuse - If You Don't Change, Nothing Changes, is available on Kindle through AmazonHIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why it took so long to believe it was abuseWhat to do when the thought that you've allowed this to happen paralyzes youThe important of a "getaway" planHow Mickie created that "getaway" planWhat to do when you're so afraid of your abuserWhy it's not a good idea to broadcast the idea that you're leaving to your abuser, or to anyone who will tell him or herCONNECT WITH MICKIE ZADAWebsite: SurvivingAbuseNetwork.comTwitter: https://twitter.com/mickie_ZadaFacebook: Facebook.com/SurvivingAbuseNetworkLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/mickiezadaInstagram: https://instagram.com/mickie.survivingabusenetworkCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerInstagram: Instagram.com/DrRhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsFREE ebook: How to Spot a Hijackal®NEW! FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #leadership #Hijackals #narcissisticabuse #healingtrauma #survivingabusenetwork #speakingupEdit
What About Mediation? And, Debunking Divorce As Failing or Not Good For the Kids  GUEST: Anthony Diaz
In today's episode, I give you five solid reasons why mediation is a good choice...and, why it may not work well with a #Hijackal! There are several important things to know about mediation. Some folks don't know about them, and I wanted to be sure you did. It's important when deciding how to proceed to resolve differences in partnerships of any kind, and relationships of all kinds.I've mediated in workplace settings, in primary family relationships, with estranged sisters in two parts of the country, with parents who have been alienated from their children for quite a while, and, of course, I've mediated many, many divorces. And, mediation is, in my opinion, the best way to go when both parties want a fair--or, even somewhat fair--settlement so they can move on with life with less stress and angst.Things can go well, or go south, though, when mediating where one person is a relentlessly difficult person. No surprise, right?Enjoy this segment, and learn why mediation may be the best first strategy for you.(If you enjoy this topic, please go to my show page on Facebook and let me know, or leave feedback or ask questions about any topic I've covered there. I'll see it, and respond. I promise. Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpShow )GUEST: ANTHONY DIAZ, THE PEACE CATALYST Anthony Diaz, Esq. is a family law attorney and mediator specializing in resolving disputes easily, effortlessly, and amicably. In his practice, he is known as the Peacemaker. He is also a Licensed Practitioner with the Centers of Spiritual Living. As a coach, attorney, and mediator, Anthony utilizes his spiritual practices to guide others from pain to peace. He is also an international speaker whose passion, mission, and purpose are to help those in pain to move on from their divorce with dignity to co-create the life they were meant to live.Your kids are watching! You know that, and I'm sure it worries you when you and your partner are often arguing, or worse, right? One big thing a parent has to always keep in mind is, that even at your worst moments, you are being a model for your children. We talk about that today. It's a big deal!What about the practical things? Like coming to agree, or not? What can you expect? Anthony gives you the inside look at mediation, and what you can expect, realistically. Of course, sometimes, things just don't get resolved, and we talk about that, too.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Why being a model for your children needs to be a high-priority conscious actWhat to do in the face of resistanceHow do you choose between attorney's and a mediatorIs it "spiritual" to divorce?How you can know if it's time to quit a relationshipWhat is Collaborative Divorce?CONNECT WITH ANTHONY DIAZWebsite: AnthonyJDiaz.comTwitter:  @The1PeaceMakerFacebook: Facebook.com/AJDCPALinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/the1peacemakerInstagram: Instagram.com/the1peace_makerCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsNEW! FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #leadership #Hijackals #narcissisticabuse #healingtrauma #mediation #AnthonyJDiaz
Finding Yourself Again After Trauma, Grief & Loss  GUEST: Dr. Sherry Cormier
In today's episode, I talk about steps you can take to manage the pain of trauma or loss. You've experienced these things, no matter when in your life they occurred. Until you work them through, they will interfere with your health and the health of your current relationships, as well as with your perspective on life.You don't want to be carrying past issues into current relationships. That's often a primary cause of marriages not working: partners bring the pains of previous relationships, and are on guard for them showing up in the new relationship. That's not helpful to getting the love, respect, trust, and support you want in life!Consider these steps I outline in today's episode to find emotional freedom to engage in the present. It will help you heal.(If you enjoy this topic, please go to my show page on Facebook and let me know, or leave feedback or ask questions about any topic I've covered there. I'll see it, and respond. I promise. Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpShow )GUEST: Dr. Sherry Cormier, Psychologist and Professor Emerita at West Virginia University, author of Author of Sweet Sorrow: Finding Enduring Wholeness After Loss and Grief Dr. Sherry Cormier is a licensed psychologist and Professor Emerita in the Department of Counseling, Rehabilitation Counseling, and Counseling Psychology at West Virginia University. She was in private practice in adult psychotherapy in Morgantown, WV, and was a former faculty member at the University of Tennessee. She is a certified bereavement trauma specialist, the author of two textbooks, and lives now in a Chesapeake Bay community where she engages in public speaking, training, and consulting.Wow! Dr. Sherry brings a great deal of experience and expertise to today's conversation!Clearly, what's trauma to one person can be trivial to another. That's what makes it difficult. Each person has a different home life growing up, different experiences, and different nervous systems, too. That's why communication in primary relationships is SO important: you need to understand where each other is coming from--and WANT to understand!Dr. Sherry Cormier wrote this:"1. There is a continuum of grief and loss elicits many emotions. At the more severe end, loss can be traumatic and can become complicated grief and require professional treatment.2. Loss is a universal human experience; our reactions to it vary greatly and depend upon what and whom we lost. If we lost someone precious to us, as I did, we learn that death is a transition not a disappearance.3. To heal from traumatic loss, we have to re establish attachment bonds and make connections with a tribe or social network that can provide support and comfort."When you experience trauma, grief, or loss, you need to be able to gauge what's going on within you or the other person. That happens by reflecting on what you know about them, who you know them to be, and your willingness to communicate with them.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What to do when you "can't get it out of your head" or "cannot believe it is gone"Know how to gauge if your grieving process is healthyHow to know if you need professional helpWhat the difference is between secure attachment and insecure attachment and why it mattersThe components of resilienceHow to recognize and overcome the isolation of griefCONNECT WITH DR. SHERRY CORMIERWebsite: SherryCormierAuthor.comTwitter:  Facebook: Facebook.com/sherry.cormier.9LinkedIn:Instagram: Instagram.com/Cormier1749CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsNEW! FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #leadership #Hijackals #overcominggrief #bereavement #narcissisticabuse #healingtrauma
Believe Behavior! Why Narcissists Exploit & Laugh at Your Vulnerabilities GUEST - Kim Saeed
In today's episode, I talk about something that is SO important to keep top of mind. Too many people readily believe the words a person speaks, even when their behavior is screaming the opposite. Why do they do that? Why do you? It's an interesting, though detrimental, habit.Yes, it's a habit, one that you learned as a child. Today, I give you some very good reasons why it is not serving you--or your relationships--well, and what to replace it with. This can change EVERYTHING in the way you approach life, too.You may not want to believe it's true, but IT IS!Get this one right down to your toes, and your life will be SO much better. I promise!(If you enjoy this topic, please go to my show page on Facebook and let me know, or leave feedback or ask questions about any topic I've covered there. I'll see it, and respond. I promise. Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpShow )GUEST: KimSaeed of LetMeReach.com Kim Saeed is an internationally respected self-help author and educator specializing in recovery and rebuilding after toxic relationships. She is the founder of Let Me Reach, a life transformation site that teaches people to flourish after narcissistic abuse.Kim is the author of the Kindle bestseller, How to Do No Contact Like a Boss! and is currently writing an upcoming book, The Way of the Warrior."During the detox from a toxic relationship, it's very common for those in recover to ruminate obsessively over their EX and the events that led to the disintegration of the relationships. This results from addiction to the reward-and-punishment peptides that the victim's brain formed during the course of the relationship. Obsessive thinking is often the result of your subconscious mind's attempt to re-abuse you in the absence of your toxic partner, simply in order to get those peptides flowing again." ~ from Kim's ebook, How to Do No Contact Like a Boss.And, why do Hijackals® exploit you, and laugh at you, especially after you've shared a vulnerability? Listen in, and learn a new way.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Learn three kinds of empathy that can help with understanding the Hijackal behaviorHow Hijackals learn what to do to get what they want from youWhy Hijackals are scornful of your vulnerabilities--even though they encourage you to share themWhat the biggest misconceptions about Hijackals--including those narcissists--isKIM SAEED'S GIFT FOR YOU: The Beginner's Healing Toolkit GET IT HERE! CONNECT WITH KIM SAEEDWebsite: LetMeReach.comTwitter:  @KimSaeedFacebook: Facebook.com/LetMeReachwithKimSaeedLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsNEW! FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #leadership #Hijackals #listeningtoyourintuition #angels #intuitiveleadership #KimSaeed #exploitingvulnerabilities #narcissisticabuse
Are You Spiritually-Minded? What About Intuition? GUEST - Terry Wildemann
In today's episode, DR. RHOBERTA SHALER asks: "Are you spiritually-minded?" Being spiritually-minded is not simply having an interest in spiritual things. It's much more than that.Are you basing your thinking on the spiritual principles you hold dear? That's the real question.What about the mind? Your mind? Can you point to it? Can it be surgically isolated? Even though you cannot indicate its physical whereabouts, you do understand that you have a mind, or, more precisely, that you use one. It's more than your brain, isn't it?Your mind is creative. When I wrote my book, What You Pay Attention to Expands, I was writing about the very things I'm introducing into the conversation today on Emotional Savvy. It's impossible to have a "mind by-pass" so it's important to think about how you're using your mind every day.In today's episode, as something completely new, I talk about the difference between the objective, conscious mind, and the subjective, sub-conscious mind. An introduction.If you enjoy this topic, please go to my show page on Facebook and let me know, or leave feedback or ask questions about any topic I've covered there. I'll see it, and respond. I promise. Facebook.com/RelationshipHelpShowGUEST: Terry Wildemann, of IntuitiveLeadership.com Terry Wildemann is a high performance coach, helping socially conscious small business owners and leaders to accelerate their businesses with intuition, speed, and ease. She's know for the speed with which she helps her clients achieve results, and the ease with which they do it. No more burning out, she says. No more spinning your wheels. No more wondering how to grow your business quickly.So, what's this talk of intuition, angels, and other spiritual ideas? Terry uses all these in the effective work she does with clients. As you listen, you'll clearly see how she integrates and intertwines these ideas with high-level business and interpersonal practices to create success.HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:What's the difference between intuition and guidance?Why is intuition important in business?Does everyone have it?What stops people from using intuition?What is the relevance of intuition to leadership?How does that apply in your own life?TERRY WILDEMANN'S FREE GIFT FOR YOU: Use this technique to shift into your heart and get grounded in the moment. Gift is available in both English and Spanish QuickShiftZone.comCONNECT WITH TERRY WILDEMANNWebsite: IntuitiveLeadership.comTwitter:  @TerryWildemannFacebook: Facebook.com/TerryWildemannLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/TerryWildemannCONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsNEW! FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #leadership #Hijackals #listeningtoyourintuition #angels #intuitiveleadership
The Impact of Emotional Abuse on Children and The Adults They Become. GUEST: Dr. Jonice Webb
EMOTIONAL SAVVY: The Relationship Help Showwith Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help DoctorUNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND NEGLECT ON CHILDREN...AND ON THE ADULTS THEY BECOME.GUEST: DR. JONICE WEBB, Author of the first book written on Childhood Emotional Neglect ( CEN )In today's episode, DR. RHOBERTA SHALER asks: "Do you recognize what emotional abuse of children is? It's much more than you might think."Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control or dominate another person. Whether that is through fear, humiliation, intimidation, isolation, guilt, blaming, manipulation or denial. Therefore, emotional abuse is simply any abuse that is emotional rather than physical. It can include belittling, discounting, manipulating the emotions of another and constant criticism. It can be less obvious than that, such as continuous disapproval, or the refusal to ever be pleased by another in any way. It can be engaging children in age-inappropriate behavior, or engaging in age-inappropriate confidences. When a parent tries to engage a child to take his/her side against the other parent, this is emotional abuse.Emotional abuse of children is often more subtle than the systematic wearing away of their self-esteem and self-confidence. Emotional abuse cuts to the core of their being, creating scars, impressions and perceptions that are far deeper and longer-lasting than physical ones. An attempt to distort or undermine a child’s perception of the world is emotional abuse.  In today's episode, I've given a very clear example of a situation that might not sound abusive on first hearing, but, once you've listened to this, you'll see things differently! GUEST: Dr. Jonice Webb, author of the first books ever on Childhood Emotional NeglectJonice Webb, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, speaker, blogger, and best-selling author. Dr. Webb wrote the first book ever written about Childhood Emotional Neglect, and is recognized worldwide as the pioneer of Childhood Emotional Neglect, CEN . Dr. Webb is dedicated to bringing awareness of the power of Childhood Emotional Neglect to people everywhere. She is the author of Running On Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect, and Running On Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships. Were you ever shamed for having emotions in your early life? That's a prime example of a type of Childhood Emotional Neglect. You may never have thought about it in those terms, and today's episode will bring much more than this to light for you. HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:Wondering why you may downplay your own needs and not ask for much?If you've experienced Childhood Emotional Neglect, how do you become more confident?Why you may still be tamping down your anger? What is the connection between Childhood Emotional Neglect, and troubles in relationships?How can a person who has experienced CEN begin to get in greater touch with their emotions?What are the likely impacts of CEN in an adult's life?DR. WEBB'S FREE GIFT FOR YOU: Take her Childhood Emotional Neglect Questionnaire CONNECT WITH DR. JONICE WEBBWebsite: DrJoniceWebb.comTwitter:  @JWebbPhDFacebook: Facebook.com/JWebbPHD/CONNECT WITH DR. RHOBERTA SHALER:Website: ForRelationshipHelp.comFacebook: RelationshipHelpDoctorTwitter: Twitter.com/RhobertaShalerLinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/RhobertaShalerFree Passive-Aggressive ChecklistFree Relationship ChecklistSubscribe to Dr. Shaler's newsletter, Tips for RelationshipsNEW! FINDING MY CONTENT USEFUL? SUPPORT MY WORK ON PATREON AND GET FURTHER GREAT BENEFITS...like access to a Secret Facebook Group, my 21 Steps to Empowered Emotional Savvy program, and monthly "Ask Me Anything" calls.Patreon.com/RhobertaShalerIf you have not worked with Dr. Shaler before, you can have your first one-hour session for only $97.#unconditionallove #creating peace #relationshipadvice #TipsForRelationships #Hijackals #toxicpeople #RhobertaShaler #narcissists #borderlines #antisocial #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #abuse #narcissisticabuse #boundaries #personalitydisorder #difficultpeople #intimacy #emotionalintimacy #leadership #Hijackals #ChildhoodEmotionalNeglect #CED #JWebbPhD
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