Frustrated And Exhausted

In this episode, we tackle the all-too-familiar “buffet” approach to time—why piling your schedule high with every request isn’t sustainable, and how to protect your energy for what really matters. The host shares practical strategies for setting boundaries, having trade-off conversations, and making your time more impactful—especially for women leaders prone to overcommitting.[00:01:02] – Connecting the buffet analogy to overstuffed workloads at work[00:01:46] – Why September is a peak "just a quick thing" season and prime time for overcommitment[00:02:36] – The challenge of boundaries, especially for women, and reframing them as necessary for impact[00:03:03] – Every yes is a no to something else; protecting your time is protecting your leadership[00:03:55] – Practical tool: Trading instead of saying a flat "no" (“Yes, if…” responses)[00:04:23] – Practical tool: Time boxing (“I can give you 15 minutes to scope this…”)[00:05:52] – Practical tool: The "parking bay" (capturing ideas/requests without committing now)[00:06:32] – Script examples you can use this week to help with boundaries[00:07:26] – Flipping the decision back to the requester to clarify priorities[00:08:27] – Ask yourself: “Where am I leaking 10% of my week?” and being tight on the quick favours[00:08:54] – Practice the tools suggested and notice the space createdRemember: “Your time isn’t a buffet. You don’t have to pile your plate to prove your worth.”Thank you for listening! Protect your plate and focus on what truly moves the needle.Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

Welcome to a powerful episode of Ruth: Frustrated and Exhausted, where our host is joined by Penny East, CEO of the Fawcett Society—the UK's leading charity campaigning for gender equality and women’s rights. Together, they dive deep into what equity really looks like in today’s fast-changing world.Penny sheds light on everything from closing the gender pay gap and the underrepresentation of women in AI and politics, to ongoing workplace barriers and the challenges of combating violence against women and girls. The conversation unpacks the everyday realities women face, the nuances of new technology like AI in perpetuating bias, and the importance of intersectionality in shaping policy.You’ll also hear about the progress being made, where urgent action is still needed, and practical ways listeners—both men and women—can get involved and help drive change.Discussion: Violence Against Women & Girls (VAWG)[00:05:15] – Penny discusses investment in perpetrator programs, gaps in victim support.[00:06:01] – Context on government priorities and political climate challenges.Fawcett’s Work & Government Accountability[00:07:56] – Penny responds about evidence, measuring misogyny, sexism in society.[00:08:59] – Example: misogyny in football crowds discussed.Increasing Misogyny Among Young People[00:12:05] – Penny shares survey findings, worsening attitudes in younger demographics.[00:12:33] – Discussion on online algorithms, radicalization, social influences and values.Internalized Misogyny & Workplace Experience[00:18:57] – Penny discusses her own and women's experience with internalized biases.Experiences of Women of Colour[00:21:11] – Question about Fawcett’s work, government response on women of colour’s experience.[00:22:04] – Government consultations, pay gap reporting, maternity care issues addressed.Women's Health & Maternity[00:26:11] – Penny discusses current and lacking health strategies, AI/data bias.Patriarchy, AI & Gender Bias[00:32:00] – Penny addresses risks in recruitment, productivity tools, digital exclusion, automation.Flexible Work & Class Disparities[00:36:24] – Penny discusses how flexible working disparities largely benefit middle-class, office-based women, and COVID’s impact.Investment for Women / Economic Power[00:40:00] – Host raises low VC investment for women and government action.[00:40:56] – Penny emphasizes importance of male allies, biases in venture capital and charity giving.How Far to Equality?[00:44:18] – Penny: current estimates for pay gap closure (2050), global parity (130-140 years), political headwinds, need for sector unity and collective action.Thank you for listening! If you’re feeling shocked, galvanized—or just want to do something—now’s the time. Join the movement for gender equality, and let’s make our voices heard.Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

Welcome to the 100th episode of Frustrated and Exhausted! In this milestone episode, I dive into the theme of “Soft Voice, Strong Spine,” unpacking the persistent myths around leadership, communication, and impact—especially for women in the workplace.Celebrating Episode 100:A heartfelt thank you to all listeners and supporters. Making it to 100 episodes is a proud achievement—especially given how many podcasts don’t make it past the first few.[00:00:43] – Episode Theme: “Soft Voice, Strong Spine”Speaker A explains the focus on nuanced leadership and how a softer approach can have more impact.[00:01:54] – Challenges of Not Being the Loudest VoiceDiscusses the frustration with louder voices dominating meetings and the discomfort of shouting or staying quiet.[00:02:38] – Myth: Leadership = VolumeAddresses the persistent myth that effective leaders must be loud and charismatic.[00:03:41] – Avoiding Forced Performances or Shrinking BackExplains the common reactions to noise in meetings and introduces the alternative approach.[00:04:30] – Personal Turning Point StoryShares a personal experience about holding back in a loud meeting and how pausing made an impact.[00:05:47] – Conviction & ImpactHighlights the value of conviction and framing over volume.[00:06:20] – Three Practical TechniquesOutlines three key points:Framing (@[00:06:20])Strategic Pauses (@[00:08:48])Strong Meeting Closures (@[00:09:41])[00:11:05] – Handling InterruptionsThank you for tuning in—and remember: if you’re still showing up in spaces that weren’t built for you, we see you. Keep going.Subscribe for more episodes and insights on women, career, and leadership—all designed to help you achieve your ambitions without sacrificing your well-being.Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

This week, we're joined by Dr. Monica Nangia, a seasoned higher education leader with more than 20 years of experience. Dr. Monica is celebrated for her sharp insight, commitment to equity, and a powerful, student-centred leadership approach. She’s also leading an initiative capturing the stories of women of colour in higher education—spotlighting both their achievements and the barriers they've had to overcome.What we cover in this episode:Dr. Monica’s personal journey into higher education leadership, inspired by both her own family and early role models.The reality of inclusive leadership: what it looks like day-to-day, why it’s more than just a declaration, and how it shows up in small, impactful moments.Why vulnerability and humility are crucial to leadership, and Dr. Monica’s own path to bringing her whole self to work.Recurring challenges faced by women of colour in higher education: the exhausting “prove it again” bias, cultural taxation (the unpaid labour of diversity work), lack of visible role models, and the struggle between hypervisibility and invisibility.The emotional impact: “racial battle fatigue”—the toll of constant microaggressions, pressure to represent entire communities, and the ways women cope and build resilience.Why allyship matters: practical advice for allies who want to open up conversations and support colleagues, even when it feels awkward or uncertain.The power of storytelling: how sharing lived experiences can drive genuine, cultural change within institutions and beyond.If you’re still showing up in spaces that weren’t built for you: we see you, and we hope you find strength and solidarity here.If you enjoyed this episode, please rate, review, and share. Got thoughts or stories to share? Reach out—we’d love to hear from you!Contact Linkedin Dr Monika Nangia Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

In this episode of Frustrated and Exhausted, I sit down with Silke Bloem, who shares her journey from physicist to research manager and leader, and the invaluable insights she's gained along the way. They unpack big topics around career pivots, the role of science in management, cultural assumptions, and what it really takes to build collaborative, trusting teams—especially when you’re “in the middle” between different stakeholders.From Physics Lab to Leadership:Silke opens up about what initially drew her into science—the thrill of understanding how things work and the “philosophical” side of physics. She also talks candidly about why she eventually stepped away from lab work, preferring roles that kept her close to science but allowed her to communicate and manage rather than specialize deeply.Embracing Uncertainty:Both Ruth and Silke discuss how science, and especially experimental physics, foster resilience and problem-solving in the face of uncertainty, a skill set that’s crucial for navigating today’s volatile work environments.Diagnosing Problems—Like a Scientist:Silke shares her approach to workplace challenges: get to the root cause, distinguish symptoms from underlying issues, and experiment step-by-step rather than chasing big, risky solutions. This echoes a scientific diagnostic process and offers practical wisdom for leaders in any sector.Building Bridges Across Departments:You’ll hear how Silke advocates for “bridging” between legal, marketing, operations, and research roles—demystifying internal tensions by reminding everyone of a shared goal and unique perspectives.Cultivating Real Listening and Trust:The conversation moves to the importance of truly listening, adopting other people’s perspectives, and taking the time early in projects to build shared understanding. Both Ruth and Silke agree that investing in relationships up front saves time—and conflict—down the line.Challenging Assumptions & Cultural Contexts:Silke offers powerful stories from her international career about the danger of assuming your frame of reference is universal, and how simple phrases or protocols can mean very different things in varied cultures and sectors.Leading from the Middle:For those who aren’t the “boss” but function between teams, Silke provides practical advice: stay neutral, define common goals, make sure everyone feels seen, and reduce complexity by clarifying what matters.Trust as a Simplifier:The episode wraps with big questions around the role of trust versus regulation, and the limits of what policy can accomplish. Silke asserts that “trust reduces complexity,” urging leaders to focus on building relationships and shared values rather than layering on controls.If this episode resonated with you, or you’ve got questions, stories, or feedback—get in touch! And if you’re still showing up in spaces that weren’t built for you, we see you. Keep going.Thanks for listening to Frustrated and Exhausted! Subscribe for more real-talk on women, leadership, and thriving at work—without losing your sanity or wellbeing.Contact LinkedIn Silke Bloem Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn 

In this heartfelt and timely episode of "Frustrated and Exhausted," I dive into the concept of "the politics of exhaustion". The discussion centers on how current political climates—characterized by division, blame, and relentless negative news cycles—are deeply impacting women's well-being, both at work and at home.I explore how societal and political systems perpetuate a chronic state of tiredness, especially for women. From right-wing protests to polarized debates in the UK, the news is overwhelming and draining energy from individuals and communities.Distressing statistics highlight the rise of violence against women and girls in the UK. Instead of addressing systemic failures, some politicians weaponize women's safety issues for divisive, anti-migrant agendas—misdirecting attention away from real solutions.[00:02:48]Statistics: Violence against women and girls comprises nearly 20% of police-recorded crime in England and Wales. From 2018–2023, these crimes increased by 37%. 1 in 12 women in the UK experiences violence or abuse yearly. 6.3 million women over age 16 experienced sexual violence in 2023–2024. 2.3 million adults (1.6 million women) experienced domestic abuse.[00:03:45]Systemic failures: Instead of addressing the root causes (failures in policing, justice, etc.), politicians use women’s pain as political theater. Charities for women and for perpetrators are underfunded and overwhelmed.[00:05:44]Women’s invisible labor: Women juggle work, complex office politics, and emotional labor at home and on the job. In times of unrest, this invisible labor intensifies.[00:06:45]Burnout and burnout normalization: Burnout is prevalent. Many feel overwhelmed and powerless to respond, due to systemic reasons.[00:08:05]Emotional toll and intersectionality: For those in minoritized groups, exhaustion is even greater and involves difficult conversations at home and heightened fear in public space.[00:09:14]Restoration as resistance: Acknowledging exhaustion, setting boundaries, promoting compassion, and nurturing belonging in the workplace are political acts that counter exhaustion.[00:10:13]Concrete steps: Encourage open conversations, model healthy boundaries (like stepping away from doomscrolling), and notice/redistribute invisible labor where possible.[00:10:58]Purpose and belonging: Focus on a shared purpose and belonging in the workplace, to create a safer and more compassionate environment amidst external turmoil.If you found this episode helpful or know someone who's feeling worn down by these issues, please share it. Your choices matter—rest is resistance.Thanks for listening to "Frustrated and Exhausted." Stay tuned for the next episode, and remember: you are not alone.Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

Welcome back to Frustrated and Exhausted! In this episode, your host dives deep into how to harness the revitalizing “September energy” and steer clear of the all-too-familiar sprint towards end-of-year burnout. Listen in and learn how to set the pace for a sustainable, energized team—without falling into the trap of constant urgency.[00:01:46] Different ways people return from leave and the misleading appearance of “energy” that might actually be urgency.[00:02:29] Signs of urgency in teams—diary bookings, new initiatives, sprint mindset, and the cost of sustained urgency.[00:03:19] Rest as ongoing replenishment—not just a one-time recharge over summer; the dangers of September urgency leading to burnout.[00:03:47] Practical ways to shift from urgency to energy:Prioritization—focus on key things.Modeling pacing as a leader.[00:04:51] Modeling pacing continued—how leadership pace sets the tone for the team and showing steadiness by example.[00:05:48] Building recovery in—encouraging breaks, deep work time blocking, and modeling these behaviors for the team.[00:06:49] Naming the challenge—talking openly about the autumn rush and setting the intention to avoid burnout.[00:07:46] The role of a leader—creating conditions for sustained energy and focus, helping teams resist “just one more thing.”[00:08:31] Holding the line on priorities—supporting teams in managing demands and not equating speed with success.Connect With Us: Have thoughts, stories, or questions? Connect via LinkedIn or visit resonateleadership.co.uk.Share the Love: If you found this episode valuable, share it with your coworkers or team—and help build workplaces where energy lasts longer than urgency.Stay tuned for more honest conversations on women, careers, leadership, and achieving ambition sustainably.Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

Welcome to another episode of Frustrated and Exhausted! This week, we’re joined by Elizabeth Brauer, Head of HR at 1IO, for a heartfelt and honest conversation about stepping away from the traditional career path and redefining what success really means.Episode Highlights:Early Career Crossroads:Elizabeth shares how, at just 18, an unexpected life event led her away from the “expected” pathway (college → university → job) and into an unconventional—and ultimately fulfilling—career.Ambition and Pressure:Elizabeth reflects on the pressures (real and imagined!) she felt as a young mum, her innate ambition, and how that drive evolved from trying to prove herself to a more personal, meaningful ambition.Success Isn’t Linear:We discuss the myth of the “career ladder” and why progression often looks more like a “net”—expanding in unexpected directions and enriched by life experiences outside of work.Life Lessons in Growth:Elizabeth opens up about early failures, “timing errors,” and bravely admitting when she didn’t know something. She shares the power of vulnerability and how it’s shaped her as a leader.Work, Rest, and Burnout:Burnout and the “workaholic badge of honour”—why it’s not sustainable, and why true success often means working less and living more.Personalized Success:Advice for anyone stuck in a high-achieving rut: take a pause, check in with yourself, and make sure your goals serve you—not some imaginary audience.Career Myths to Ditch:Elizabeth’s one piece of advice to ban forever: Stop glorifying “always being on.” Quality over quantity—embrace downtime![00:01:41] – Elizabeth describes becoming a young mum and how it forced her off the traditional path.[00:03:30]– Elizabeth shares how she sought careers that fit her life, returning to college, and studying psychology.[00:06:33] – Elizabeth reflects on proving herself and how her definition of success evolved.[00:08:06] – Ruth and Elizabeth explore healthy vs. unhealthy ambition.[00:10:40]– Elizabeth discusses what’s wrong in how we approach career progression, especially for women.[00:12:04] – Net/ladder metaphor and the value of lateral experience.[00:12:20] – Discussion on how broad experience can act as support/catch you.[00:15:32] – Ruth and Elizabeth discuss the dangers of hyper-focus on work.[00:16:03] – On supporting different work styles (quiet contributors, etc).[00:16:46] – Learning from mistakes and the value of reflection.[00:17:57] – Ruth asks about career risks that paid off or didn’t.[00:20:30] – Admitting you need help and learning to take slower steps.[00:21:51] – Elizabeth describes the vulnerability of asking for help and the support she received.[00:22:01] – Vulnerability as a strength in leadership.[00:23:30]– Importance of people connection over just policy/process.[00:24:46] – Startup burnout, reassessing success, and discovering the cost of “doing it all.”[00:29:45] – Importance of checking in with yourself.[00:31:02] – Elizabeth: Ban always being “on,” glorifying workaholism.[00:31:39] – Value of rest and switching off.Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave us a review. If this episode made you think, challenged, or reassured you, let us know!Contact Linkedin Elizabeth brauer Connect with Ruth:Instagram

In this episode, I dive deep into the concept of "taking up space" as women, leaders, and human beings in progress. Using the vibrant, expansive energy of summer as a metaphor, Ruth explores how we often feel more permission to expand — and why so many women are conditioned to shrink themselves, both literally and figuratively.[00:02:11] – Shrinking Ourselves & The Airplane AnalogyRuth shares her experience of physically shrinking herself while flying for work, compared to men who take up more space, and her small rebellion with a broadsheet newspaper.[00:03:23] – Everyday Examples of ShrinkingDiscussion of how women often shrink in meetings, mute themselves on calls, or hesitate to speak up, and how these behaviors become ingrained.[00:04:29] – What Taking Up Space Really MeansClarifying that taking up space isn’t about being loud, but about presence and inhabiting your full self without apology. Ruth links this to critical leadership skills and the loss organizations face when women don’t take up space.[00:05:39] – The Cost of Not Taking Up SpaceShe explains the personal cost: disconnection, loss of self-trust, and erosion of self-confidence. Ruth challenges the idea that visibility is just performance, suggesting instead it’s about authenticity.[00:06:48] – Practical Ways to Take Up SpaceExamples of how to practice taking up space: being physically present, naming tension, holding silence, and sharing personal stories for connection.[00:08:26] – Reflective QuestionsRuth suggests reflecting on where and with whom you shrink, asking whose expectations you’re trying to meet.[00:09:11] – The Ripple EffectEmphasizes how taking up space gives permission to others to do the same, especially in leadership roles.Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

In this empowering episode of Frustrated and Exhausted, we get to know Seema Kisney, who shares her journey from a working-class background in the north of England to a senior digital leadership role at the Royal College of Art. Seema’s story is about building a career with no blueprint—navigating tech, leadership, and ambition without a network or roadmap.Key Themes:Becoming What You Couldn't See: Seema reflects on not having visible role models in leadership or tech while growing up. Her journey is one of self-discovery, curiosity, and quietly seizing opportunities even when she didn’t feel fully prepared.The Power of Managers and Role Models: The episode highlights how having even one supportive manager can transform a career, helping to build confidence and open doors.Building Networks From Scratch: With no pre-existing network, Seema shares her practical, sometimes awkward beginnings with professional networking and how she eventually found her community through trial, error, and sharing her knowledge.Challenging Ambition Barriers: The conversation addresses social mobility, class background, and internalized limitations around ambition—especially common for women and people from underrepresented groups.Learning, Sharing, and Growing: Both guest and host discuss the importance of sharing stories and experiences so that others can see what’s possible for them too.[00:05:52] – Seema explains making the definitive choice to leave accountancy and pursue other options.[00:06:41] – Seema discusses her working-class background and lack of career role models growing up.[00:09:17] – Seema talks about the mindset around risk and ambition in her upbringing.[00:10:21] – Seema discusses curiosity and her tendency to observe and learn from others.[00:12:54] – Seema emphasizes learning through experience and embracing new challenges.[00:13:34] – Seema shares experiences learning to influence and write business cases for senior audiences.[00:15:10] – Seema describes learning to seek feedback and prepare for high-stakes conversations.[00:16:19] – Seema reflects on supportive management and valuable feedback from leaders.[00:16:57] – Seema notes the importance of a safe space to learn and make mistakes.[00:18:18] – Seema reflects on managers who saw her strengths and helped her recognize her influence.[00:20:07] – Seema talks about learning what good management looks like by example.[00:21:29] – Seema sums up the power of supportive environments and role models.[00:22:49] – Seema describes how she started networking through events and ultimately building confidence.[00:23:18] – Seema describes her first experience at a tech event, feeling out of place.[00:24:52] – Seema elaborates on how sharing her story led to making meaningful connections.[00:25:53] – She explains using LinkedIn, events, and preparation to build her network.[00:30:58] – Seema shares practical networking and career advice—leveraging LinkedIn, events, and even creating your own networks.[00:31:54] – Seema expounds on starting your own group or event if you can’t find one.Feeling like you don’t belong or don’t have the right connections? Try reaching out to people in roles you admire, comment on their LinkedIn posts, and start attending events tailored for your interests.Don’t be afraid to share your story—you never know who needs to hear it.If you’re a leader, look for ‘hidden’ talent in your team and voice your encouragement—being told “you can do this” can be...

Welcome back to another episode of Frustrated and Exhausted, hosted by Ruth Wood! If your out-of-office is on, but your mind is juggling meetings, to-do lists, and family responsibilities, this episode is for you.[00:01:33] – Personal Story & Invisible LoadRuth discusses her difficulties in slowing down, the constant mental “tabs” open in her mind, and shares personal anecdotes of balancing work, parenting, and preparing for holidays.[00:04:03] – The Emotional & Invisible LaborShe touches on the often invisible emotional labor women carry, both at home and at work, particularly around holiday times.[00:05:53] – Normalizing Guilt & Redefining RestRuth highlights the guilt many women feel about stepping back and resting, and encourages reframing rest as an active process, not a state of doing nothing.[00:07:19] – Practical Tips for RestOffers practical examples of what rest can look like—slowing down, saying no to extra commitments, turning off the phone, leaving less-than-perfect responses.[00:08:43] – The Challenge of Immediate ResponsesRuth reflects on the pressure for immediacy in modern life and encourages listeners to protect their downtime.If something from this episode resonated with you, I would love to hear your thoughts, questions, or stories. Reach out on LinkedIn or learn more at ResumeNateLeadership.co.uk.If you’re struggling to slow down, you’re not alone—and your nervous system deserves care too. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is… simply not hit “reply.”Until next time: Take care of you.Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

In this episode, I take a slower, more reflective approach as she dives into the often-overlooked power of quiet seasons—those stretches when the emails dwindle, meetings fade away, and the pace of work noticeably softens.[00:01:54] The benefit of embracing stillness: greater clarity, realization of exhaustion, and focusing on what truly matters. The myth that speed equals competence is challenged.[00:02:51] Shares that the best and biggest decisions often come out of stillness, not constant activity. Highlights a coaching example where silence led to deep insight.[00:04:01] Reflections on how our culture equates activity with value, and how quietness allows us to rediscover our priorities and sense of self.[00:05:20]The discomfort of leaving silence, but the richness that comes from it—ideas grow, leadership voice strengthens, and we reconnect with real priorities.[00:06:05]Importance of quietness as both mental and physiological space—being outdoors, present in the body, and how this impacts health and leadership presence.Have thoughts or stories to share? I would love to hear from you. Connect via LinkedIn or visit resonateleadership.co.uk for more resources and support.Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

In this episode, I dive deep into the media reaction and double standards surrounding British Chancellor Rachel Reeves showing emotion during a high-profile parliamentary session. I explore the gender biases at play, the different standards applied to male and female leaders, and the larger implications for women in leadership.(00:02:05 – 00:04:08) The Gender Double Standard:Ruth unpacks how tears from women are often interpreted as incompetence or weakness, while similar emotional displays from male leaders (e.g., Gordon Brown, Philip Hammond) are either empathized with or ignored.(00:04:08 – 00:08:00) Emotional Expression in Leadership:A discussion about how Reeves’ credentials are questioned after displaying emotion, despite male predecessors not facing the same scrutiny. References to research on emotional displays and workplace perceptions.Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

In this episode, I dive into a subtle but persistent form of gendered undermining in leadership—the “little girling” of women. Think of those times when a woman delivers a strategic, thoughtful point, but the response is “you’re so passionate!” or “I love your energy!” I break down how these words are used in place of truly acknowledging women’s expertise and authority, explores why language like this is damaging, and offers strategies for reframing, redirecting, and challenging such comments. I encourage listeners to recognise and resist this reductive behavior, and to find supportive allies and spaces where the issue can be openly discussed.00:01:52 — How these words replace descriptors of expertise and authority, casting women as cheerleaders rather than leaders.00:02:59 — The real-world consequences: erosion of credibility and trust.00:03:21 — How early messages and repeated framing make women internalize being “the keen girl,” leading to exhaustion and overthinking.00:04:08 — The emotional labor of being both passionate and visionary, and always fighting to be seen as more than just “energetic.”00:05:21 — Practical options: calling out the behavior, reframing, redirecting, or challenging; why context matters.00:06:31 — Bias is often unconscious and comes from all genders; tips to redirect or challenge skillfully.00:07:22 — The importance of circles of support where these dynamics can be named and understood.00:07:54 — There’s no “right” way to respond—awareness is the first step, and any response you choose is valid.00:08:54 — Emphasizing that women can be both passionate and expert—rejecting reductive labels.00:09:57 — Final thoughts: how to reclaim your narrative and respond on your own terms.Want to share your story or thoughts? I would love to hear from you—reach out and be part of the conversation!Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

In this deeply thought-provoking episode, Ruth welcomes psychodynamics expert Julia Rogers to unpack the loaded concept of "hysteria" and its fraught historical connection with women and femininity. From ancient Greek medicine to Freud's consulting room and all the way through to the modern workplace, they explore how women's emotional expression has been pathologized and turned into a tool for control and dismissal.Key TakeawaysHysteria has always been gendered: Rooted in control and dismissiveness, it offered a "diagnosis" for women whose voices or pain disrupted the status quo.System vs. Self: The label served to protect social structures, but also paradoxically gave women a (constrained) way to signal distress when their words were ignored.Still Resonant Today: Even now, women’s emotions can be pathologized—think about conversations around menopause or women "overreacting" at work.Emotions are Data: Feelings like anger or frustration shouldn’t be dismissed or shamed. They're valid responses that often point to deeper issues.You Are Not Too Much: If you’re made to feel "hysterical,” you might simply be in the wrong room. Seek spaces that value your whole self.Channel Your Inner Dora: If a situation or environment refuses to hear or respect your truth, it’s okay to walk away.00:02:11 What is Hysteria? (Origin and Meaning)Julia explains the etymology of "hysteria" (Greek for "uterus") and discusses its historical use as a catch-all diagnosis for unexplained symptoms in women.00:03:33 How Hysteria Became NegativeThe term’s pejorative use to invalidate women’s emotions and opinions, and its connection to restrictive gender norms in the late 1800s and early 1900s00:05:04Psychodynamics: The Unspoken Message Behind HysteriaJulia delves into how physical symptoms often communicated what women could not say out loudFreud's case study of "Dora" is discussed as an example.00:10:04 The Systemic Function of HysteriaHow the label benefited patriarchal systems and provided both an outlet for women’s frustration and an easy method for dismissal.00:13:12 Gendered Diagnosis and Societal SegregationWhy hysteria became so strongly gendered, the role of male medical professionals, and the broader context of social segregation.00:23:18 Unlearning Shame & Reclaiming Emotional ExpressionWhy women often internalize dismissal of their own emotions.Coaching insights: Emotions as data, the power of reframing anger.00:31:13 Final Insights: Reclaiming Power & Emotional AuthorityJulia’s advice: “If anyone calls you hysterical, own it—there’s likely a very good reason for your emotion.”Resources & LinksLearn more about Julia Rogers and her work on psychodynamics and everyday life.Ruth's leadership coaching and community at resonateleadership.co.uk.Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

In this episode I dive into the concept of assertiveness for women in leadership. Explore common misconceptions around assertiveness, the societal conditioning that shapes how women express power, and offers practical tips on how to reclaim your voice authentically—without feeling the need to adopt an "alpha" persona or "bark to be heard." Assertiveness, is about clarity, boundaries, and self-respect, not aggression or dominance. I share personal stories and actionable strategies to help you show up with calm, grounded confidence—no barking required.00:02:03Social Conditioning & Dichotomy for Women  Most women taught to be either small and agreeable or dominating—little space for in-between.The double bind: labeled “not serious” if too soft, “aggressive” if too strong.00:03:21Assertiveness MisconceptionsHow we’re conditioned to soften language to be heard.Assertiveness is not aggression or dominance; it's not about being the loudest.00:05:10 What Assertiveness Truly Is Assertiveness = clarity, boundaries, self-respect.Example of reframing language to sound more confident.00:06:41  Practical Strategies for Reclaiming Assertiveness*  Drop qualifiers (“just,” “sorry,” “I’m no expert, but...”).Start with “I” statements.Use the power of pausing.The impact of body language and alignment.00:09:29  Low-Intensity Directness & Emotional RegulationAssertiveness doesn’t require sharpness or aggression.Calm, steady tone can be more impactful.00:11:42  Practicing Aligned Assertiveness  Invitation to reflect: how can you practice assertiveness this week?Assertiveness as alignment, not performance.Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

In this episode of "Frustrated and Exhausted," I dive into the concept of the "achievement hangover"—that letdown or slump in energy and mood after reaching a major professional milestone. They explore why, after striving hard for a goal and achieving it, you might not feel the sense of fulfillment you expected. The discussion also covers societal and organizational expectations, particularly for women, and offers practical advice for processing these feelings and navigating the aftermath of achievement.Timestamps & Topics00:00:22 – What Is the Achievement Hangover?Description of the phenomenon: achieving a goal but feeling let down afterward.Personal experiences with intense goal focus.00:02:12 External Success vs. Internal FulfillmentThe discrepancy between what success looks like from the outside versus how it feels inside.The neuroscience behind the short-lived dopamine hits from achievement.00:03:54 Conforming to External ExpectationsHow working towards goals set by others—especially in hierarchical or traditional environmentscan mean sidelining personal values and creativity.The impact of performance mode versus genuine embodiment of leadership roles.00:07:03Advice: Pausing and ReflectingEncouragement to sit with feelings after achieving a goal rather than jumping to the next one.Suggestions to reflect on expectations versus reality, reconnect with personal values, and envision success on your own terms.00:08:40 Processing the Gap Between Expectation and RealityPermission to grieve the disappointment and recognize it's a common experience.  Framing the experience as a turning point, not a failure.If you’ve got stories, questions, or thoughts about the achievement hangover, don’t hesitate to reach out!Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

In this episode, I’m calling out the confidence hype. We’ve all been told that if we just had more confidence, we’d get the job, the pay rise, the recognition. The truth is confidence is not the magic fix it’s made out to be.It’s often a cover for deeper stuff like privilege, practice, or just being loud. And when we buy into the idea that we’re not doing well because we’re not confident enough, it becomes yet another reason to beat ourselves up.What if the real game changers are things like clarity, courage, and trust in yourself? What if you stopped waiting to feel confident and just started? Let’s talk about why confidence might be overrated, and what actually matters instead!Here are the highlightsConfidence vs. Competence and Courage (2:29)Alternatives to Confidence (5:17)Credibility and Connection in Leadership (7:13)Reframing Leadership and Final Thoughts (9:14)Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

We’re told to “just be authentic” as leaders. But let’s be honest, actually doing that can feel like ripping your chest open in front of a room full of people. In this episode, I’m diving into why being authentic sounds great in theory, but often feels uncomfortable in practice.I share a real story from a client who finally spoke up in a tough environment… and then spent the next 24 hours spiralling with doubt. Sound familiar?We explore the very real tension between showing up as yourself and the anxiety that comes with that. Especially for women, and even more so for women of colour, neurodivergent women, or anyone from a marginalised background, authenticity doesn’t always feel safe. It can trigger fears of judgement, rejection, or simply not belonging.If you’ve ever asked yourself, “How much of me is too much at work?” this one’s for you.Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website

What if the traditional idea of leadership, the way we’re told it should look, just doesn’t suit you?I’m unpacking why so much leadership advice feels awkward or just plain exhausting for some women. Maybe you don’t want to be the loudest in the room. Maybe being “always on” isn’t your thing. And maybe, just maybe, there’s another way to lead that actually feels like you. If you’ve ever felt like you’re playing a role instead of showing up as yourself, this episode is for you. Let’s talk about what leadership could look like when we stop squeezing ourselves into boxes that were never meant for us.Here are the highlightsChallenges of Traditional Leadership Models (1:40)Defining Leadership on Your Own Terms (3:57)Practical Steps for Leading on Your Own Terms (8:07)Centering Yourself and Values in Leadership (8:58)Connect with Ruth:Instagram LinkedIn Website