Why did my date end the moment she saw a "CLOSED" sign on the restaurant? What's "Kaeruka Genshō" and why do tiny mistakes instantly kill attraction in Japan? In Part 3 (#4-3) of our Date Spot series, we uncover the hidden cultural tests that foreigners don't even know exist.🎁 FREE 75-page Guide: Planning Dates in Japan https://www.gogenlanguages.com/date-guide Ad for our free Date Guide @ 43:48We break down 蛙化現象/カエル化現象 (kaeruka genshō) - Japan's version of "the ick" - and explore what can end a date before you realize you've been judged. From how you treat service staff to chopstick taboos and reservation culture, this episode reveals the cultural landmines that Japanese people assess you on (and foreigners often miss completely).What You'll Learn:The concept of Kaeruka Genshō - literally "turning into a frog," Japan's version of getting "the ick" where small triggers flip attraction to disgustThe number one litmus test in Japanese dating - how you treat waitstaff and service workers, and why this matters even more in Japan's omotenashi cultureWhy my date ended when she saw a closed restaurant - the reservation culture in Japan and why planning matters so muchCultural differences in complaining - contrasting American, Chinese, and Japanese approaches to customer service conflicts"Okyaku-sama wa Kami" - understanding the "customer is God" mentality and how it affects dating dynamicsHow to complain effectively in Japan - the art of being politely persistent rather than outraged.The viral "food court tray" ick - why looking lost with a tray apparently gives some Japanese women the ickBowing angles and shakaijin orientation - the corporate training Japanese workers receive on proper etiquetteHanabi taikai (fireworks festivals), karaoke as a date location, winter sports trips, and revisiting the Disneyland "curse"Our Guests:Two bilingual Japanese women share their perspectivesKey Japanese Terms Covered:蛙化現象 (kaeruka genshō) - "turning into a frog" phenomenon, Japan's version of "the ick"お客様は神様 (okyaku-sama wa kami sama) - "the customer is God"敬語 (keigo) - polite and formal Japanese language levels箸マナー (hashi manā) - chopstick etiquette箸渡し (hashi-watashi) - passing food chopstick-to-chopstick, a funeral taboo食べログ (tabelog) - Japan's most popular restaurant review and reservation app予約 (yoyaku) - reservation花火大会 (hanabi taikai) - fireworks festival社会人 (shakaijin) - working professional, full-time employeeチャラい (charai) - player or playboy behavior許せない (yurusenai) - unforgivableありえない (arienai) - unbelievable, impossible, "I can't even"Timestamps:0:00 - Intro1:51 - How You Treat Staff (Major Red Flag)3:00 - Kaeruka Gensho: "Turning Into a Frog" = Japanese "The Ick"4:58 - Cultural Differences: Complaining in US vs Japan vs China7:20 - "The Customer Is God" Culture9:14 - How to Complain Effectively in Japan11:31 - Politely Persistent vs Outraged15:17 - Standing Up for Your Partner17:26 - Detecting Rudeness Through Keigo22:02 - Japanese People and Assertiveness23:24 - The Food Court "Looking Lost" Ick25:46 - Viral YouTuber Payment Ick Story28:55 - Table Manners: The Chopsticks in Rice Mistake30:00 - Hashi-Watashi and Funeral Customs31:53 - Bowing Angles and Orientation Training33:31 - Date Spot Disasters: The Closed Restaurant Story35:18 - Tabelog and Japan's Reservation Culture42:07 - Dating Advice: Always Make Reservations43:48 - Free Dating Guide (Ad)44:32 - More Table Manners: Don't Nibble Your Chopsticks47:26 - Hanabi Taikai (Summer Fireworks Festivals)50:19 - Karaoke as a Date Spot56:24 - Winter Sports: Snowboarding & Skiing Dates1:00:30 - The Disneyland Curse Revisited1:01:10 - OutroAbout the Gogen Podcast:We're a Tokyo-based language education company exploring Japanese culture, language, and relationships through authentic, unfiltered conversations. Connect With Us:Website: gogenlanguages.comYouTube: @GoGenJapaneseInstagram: @gogenlanguages
In episode 4-2 of our Japanese dating culture series, we explore the most infamous Japanese date spots with our bilingual Japanese guests. Going to Tokyo Disneyland or Disney Sea too early in a relationship can end things before they even start. But why? And aquariums are THE most popular date spot in Japan!? Birthdays AND Christmas are both more romantic than Valentine's Day?? The shocking cultural differences keep coming.🎁 FREE 75-page Guide: Planning Dates in Japan https://www.gogenlanguages.com/date-guide Ad for our free Date Guide @ 26:00The Disneyland "curse" is REAL in Japan - but not for the reason you think.IN THIS EPISODE:- Why aquariums are the #1 date spot in Japan (水族館 / suizokukan)- The mega importance of Christmas lights and the illumination season (イルミネーション / irumineeshon)- Birthday expectations that shock Americans- When (and when NOT) to meet the parents- The planetarium date debate- Disneyland: Religion for Japanese women?- The Disney compatibility test that ends relationships- Why Disney Sea is the romantic option🎁 FREE 75-PAGE GUIDE: "Planning Dates & Date Spots in Japan"This comprehensive guide covers:- The Japanese cultural foundation: what's expected vs. what foreigners do- Date spot strategies that actually work- Venue breakdowns: where to go and where NOT to go- Seasonal & special occasions (cherry blossoms, Christmas, birthdays)- Real-world logistics: trains, seating, budgeting- Indirect communication patterns & reading between the linesDownload: https://www.gogenlanguages.com/date-guide(Extracted from our full course "14-Day Dating in Japan")---ABOUT THIS SERIES:This is Part 2 of our 3-part Date Spots series, where we break down where Japanese couples actually go on dates - and the cultural rules foreigners miss (check out #4-1, the first part).Hosted by: B - American linguist living in TokyoOur Japanese Guests:- Kikokushijo (returnee) who lived in New York (ages 0-9), current college student- Recent college grad, newly 社会人 (working full-time), studied abroad in England and the USA---KEY JAPANESE TERMS:- 水族館 (suizokukan) - Aquarium- イルミネーション (irumineeshon) - Illumination/light displays- ジンクス (jinkusu) - Jinx, curse- 告白 (kokuhaku) - Confession of romantic feelings- リア充 (riajū) - Someone satisfied with their life/relationships- 非リア (hiria) - Single and miserable- 社会人 (shakaijin) - Working adult- 結婚を前提に (kekkon o zentei ni) - "With marriage in mind"- 親紹介 (oya shōkai) - Introducing to parents---CONNECT WITH US:Website: https://www.gogenlanguages.com/YouTube Podcast: @GoGenLanguagesYouTube (Education): @GoGenJapaneseInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/gogenlanguages/Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/77hb4wt5
Do Japanese people only do cosplay costumes? Why don't Japanese kids trick-or-treat? Why did Tokyo ban its biggest Halloween party? Join host Bryan (American linguist in Tokyo) and three Japanese locals as they expose the wild differences between American and Japanese Halloween, as well as deep dive into Japanese monsters, demons, and supernatural creatures.From discovering that trick-or-treating requires a MAP in Japan to learning why house parties are basically impossible, this episode reveals a Halloween culture you never knew existed. The crew dives deep into how anime transformed costume culture, why Shibuya's legendary Halloween party got shut down, and how Halloween became the one night Japanese people can break social norms.But it's not just about modern Halloween - the conversation takes a fascinating turn into Japanese horror culture. Learn about yokai, oni, and the terrifying spirits that inspired The Ring. Discover why every Japanese kid fears the bathroom ghost Hanako-san, and hear spine-tingling stories about the monsters that haunt Japanese folklore.Topics covered:• The truth about Japanese trick-or-treating• Why you can't buy a pumpkin in Tokyo• Sexy costumes vs. traditional monsters• The Shibuya Halloween ban explained• Japanese ghosts vs. Western monsters• Yokai, demons, and cursed spirits• School ghost stories and urban legends• Why Halloween reflects Japanese social pressureThis Halloween special of the GoGen Podcast offers authentic insights into Japanese culture through genuine conversation with locals. Whether you're interested in modern Japanese society, traditional folklore, or just love a good culture shock story, this episode delivers perspectives you won't find in any guidebook.Recorded in Tokyo, Japan. Part of the GoGen Podcast series exploring Japanese culture, language, and life through real conversations.For more content about Japanese culture and language learning, visit GoGen Languages.
No talking on first dates? Coffee shops are OFF LIMITS? Welcome to dating in Japan.In this episode (4-1), we uncover the unwritten rules of Japanese date spots with our bilingual Japanese guests. Learn why movie theaters are the strategic choice for first dates (hint: you don't have to talk OR make eye contact), why suggesting coffee might get you ghosted, and what "omochikaeri" really means 😏Our guests share their real kokuhaku stories, including one that happened at her front door because he panicked. Plus: the dating app mentality, when you can finally Netflix & chill, and why Japanese women are judging your date planning skills from day one.**🎬 IN THIS EPISODE:**• Why Japanese people choose movie theaters for first dates (it's strategic!)• The coffee shop hierarchy in Tokyo - and why it matters more than you think• "Omochikaeri" and other Japanese dating terms you need to know• Kokuhaku timing: Why the third date is crucial• The "effort test" - how Japanese women judge your date planning• Izakaya first dates: Red flag or totally fine?• What "sumāto" (smooth) really means in Japanese dating culture• Real kokuhaku stories from our guests**🔑 KEY TERMS FROM THIS EPISODE:**• デートスポット (dēto supotto) - date spots• お出かけ (odekake) vs デート (date)• 告白 (kokuhaku) - confession• 初デート (hatsu-dēto) - first date• お持ち帰り (omochikaeri) - "takeout" 😏• チャラい (charai) - player/playboy• スマート (sumāto) - smooth (not "smart"!)• 保留 (horyū) - putting off/considering• インスタ映え (insta-bae) - Instagrammable(00:00:00) Opening & Introduction(00:01:35) Welcome & Today's Topic: Japanese Date Spots(00:02:15) Why Movie Theaters Are Japan's #1 First Date Spot(00:03:01) "You Don't Have to Talk" - The Strategy Explained(00:04:06) No Eye Contact, Dark Room = Less Pressure(00:05:06) Date vs Kokuhaku - What Counts as a "Date"?(00:08:25) O-dekake vs Date - The Casual Alternative(00:11:09) Izakaya First Dates - Good or Red Flag?(00:12:11) Dating Apps in Japan (Tinder, Bumble, Tapple)(00:13:51) Drinking Age & Izakaya Strategy(00:14:34) "Omochikaeri" - The Dating Term You Need to Know(00:20:02) My Coffee Date Disaster Story(00:22:36) "Boys Don't Go to Cafés" - Gender & Coffee Shops(00:23:42) Insta-bae Culture & Cute Cafés(00:25:11) The 4 Types of Tokyo Coffee Shops Explained(00:32:51) She CANCELED Because of the Coffee Shop(00:35:00) The Effort Test - Why Location Matters So Much(00:36:59) Japanese Women Judge Your Planning(00:38:58) Dating App Expectations vs Real Life Meetings(00:41:04) When Can You Netflix & Chill in Japan?(00:43:50) Real Kokuhaku Story #1 - Three Dates to Confession(00:45:12) "Please Be My Girlfriend" in Japanese(00:46:19) Horyū - When She Says "Let Me Think About It"(00:47:26) Why You MUST Kokuhaku on the Third Date(00:49:12) Last-Minute Kokuhaku Panic Story(00:50:52) What Does "Sumāto" (Smooth) Really Mean?(00:53:59) Terrace House Dating Lessons(00:57:39) Building Up to the Confession(00:59:13) "Be a Man" - The Ultimatum Kokuhaku(01:00:44) Aquarium Date & Kokuhaku Expectations**📱 CONNECT:**Japanese Education on YouTube: @GoGenJapanese IG: ➡︎ https://www.instagram.com/gogenlanguages/X: ➡︎ https://tinyurl.com/35kunt5yWebsite:https://www.gogenlanguages.com/Free tips and breakdowns of relationship/dating Japanese and culture! Listen to our Dating & Relationships Japanese Audio Course for free on the website!
Why do Japanese parents judge your dating potential by how you hold chopsticks? In this eye-opening episode of the GoGen podcast, we dive deep into the unspoken rules of Japanese dating culture with two bilingual Japanese women who reveal the surprising deal-breakers that could end your romantic chances before they even begin.From "charai" guys to chopstick etiquette, discover why table manners carry more weight in Japan than you might think – and how they reflect on your entire family's reputation. Our guests share personal stories, dating disasters, and cultural insights that every foreigner in Japan needs to know.Episode #3-3 (Podcast 3, Part 3)What you'll learn:Why "body touch" is a major red flag in Japanese datingThe difference between Western flirting and Japanese "nanpa"How to navigate keigo vs casual speech on datesJapanese pick-up behavior: cheesy lines and genius twistsDating archetypes: 'Nikushoku' predators vs. 'sōshoku' passivesThe real reason Japanese women might choose to date foreignersThe psychology behind "sodachi ga deru" (how manners reveal upbringing)KEY JAPANESE TERMS:charai (チャラい) - flashy, player-likeicha-icha (イチャイチャ) - lovey-dovey behaviorkakehiki (駆け引き) - romantic tacticsnanpa (ナンパ) - picking up someonebody touch (ボディタッチ) - casual physical contactskinship (スキンシップ) - physical affectionnikushoku-kei (肉食系) - carnivore type (aggressive)sōshoku-kei (草食系) - herbivore type (passive)keigo (敬語) - polite languagetameguchi (タメ口) - casual speechsodachi ga deru (育ちが出る) - your upbringing shows0:00 Introduction ('Charai' and Conservative Culture)1:45 Associating 'Charai' with Flirtatious Behavior2:18 Defining Flirting in English vs. Japanese5:15 Exploring 'Icha Icha': Lovey-Dovey for Couples10:45 'Kakehiki': Strategic Flirting and Tactics13:40 'Body Touch' (Bodi Tacchi) as 'Charai' Red Flag15:00 'Skinship' ('Sukinshippu'): Physical Connection Across Relationships16:40 'Nikutai Kankei' and Physical Boundaries in Dating19:15 Cultural Differences in Physical Contact (Hugs, Touches)26:07 'Nanpa': Street Pick-Up Lines and Cliches27:45 Creative 'Nanpa' Approaches and Reactions32:48 'Nikushoku' vs. 'Sōshoku' Personality Types34:30 Roll Cabbage and Asparagus Bacon Guys35:28 Stigma of Clubbing and Aggressive Approaches41:15 Spontaneous 'Nanpa' (Pick Up) in Places Like Shibuya44:45 Politeness in Dating: 'Keigo', 'Tameguchi', and '-San'53:15 Pressure of Japanese Dating Standards57:25 Chopstick Etiquette and Table Manners1:01:20 Judging Upbringing Through Eating Habits1:06:25 Importance of Family Background in Japan1:11:32 Outro and ThanksThis is Part 3 of a 3-part series on 'Charai' (player/shallow) and Japanese dating culture.Learn more: Visit gogenlanguages.com to subscribe for FREE tips on romance/relationship Japanese and Japanese culture.Follow us on Instagram: @gogenlanguagesFollow us everywhere:https://linktr.ee/gogenlanguages
The Charai Chronicles Part 2: From Fashion to Dating Disasters (#3-2)Welcome back to part 2 of our deep dive into チャラい (charai) and Japanese dating culture! In this episode, we explore the fascinating vocabulary around Japanese playboy culture and its many manifestations.In this episode:• The crucial differences between onna-tarashi (女たらし), yarich**, and onna-zuki (女好き)• Why being called "sake-zuki" might actually be a compliment• Can women be charai? The controversial gender divide• How 1990s gyaru culture shaped modern dating behavior• Why kissing before kokuhaku can be relationship suicide• Jirai-kei (地雷系) fashion and the "landmine girl" phenomenon• Cultural translation fails: Why "bi-cchi" doesn't mean what you thinkJoin 'B' (American linguist and Tokyo resident) and his bilingual Japanese guests as they navigate the complex world of Japanese dating terminology, fashion subcultures, and cross-cultural romantic disasters.Key Japanese terms covered:Onna-tarashi (女たらし) - Someone who's good with womenYarich** - The Japanese equivalent of "f-boy"Chara-o (チャラ男) - A "charai guy"; the playboy typeKuzu (クズ) - Literally "trash"; insult for terrible menJirai-kei (地雷系) - "Landmine type" fashion/personality styleMenhera (メンヘラ) - Emotionally unstable personThis is Part 2 of a 3-part series on Charai and Japanese dating culture.Learn more:Visit gogenlanguages.com for our Japanese dating & relationships audio course and newsletter with FREE tips on romance vocabulary and culture.Follow us on Instagram: @gogenlanguages
Think your Western flirting playbook works in Tokyo? Think again. Two Japanese insiders break down charai—the flashy, flirt-first persona—plus sister terms yarichin and onna tarashi, revealing why showy compliments, loud fashion and club bravado often hurt your chances in Japan’s dating scene. We compare celeb case studies, decode “clean-style” fashion, and teach the Japanese you’ll actually hear on Friday nights in Shibuya. 🎧KEY TOPICS COVERED:- The difference between Charai, Yarichin, and Onna Tarashi- Why Japanese society views compliments as red flags- How fashion defines your dating persona in Japan- The surprising truth about nightclub culture in Japan- Why being expressive might hurt your dating chances- Real examples from Japanese celebrities and cultureJAPANESE TERMS EXPLAINED:- Charai (チャライ) - Flirty, player-like, superficial- Yarichin (ヤリチン) - F***boy- Onna Tarashi (女たらし) - Womanizer/Good with women- Kuzu (クズ) - Trash (ultimate insult)- Seiso-kei (清楚系) - Clean, innocent fashion style- Moteru (モテる) - To be popular/desirable(0:00) Intro: Misconceptions about “Onna Tarashi”(0:53) GoGen Podcast: Japanese Dating Culture(1:09) Understanding & Defining “Charai” (Player/Flirty)(2:41) “Charai” Fashion: Appearance & Visuals(3:31) “Charai” vs. English “Player”(6:05) “Charai” vs. “Seiso Kei” (Clean College Style)(10:34) College Fashion: Universal Views & Japan/US Habits(13:05) Why Japanese Students Dress Up & Dorm-Life Fashion(14:41) “Charai”: Breaking Norms & High-School Origins(17:09) High-School “Charai”: Rebel, Popular or Annoying?(21:03) Rebel Archetypes: Western vs. Anime Examples(23:18) Dual Nature of “Charai”: Enviable & Loathsome(24:06) “Kuzu” (Trash): Label for Womanizers(26:45) Related Term: “Onna Tarashi” (Womanizer)(27:52) Introducing “Yarichin” (F-boy) & Etymology(29:21) “Onna Tarashi” vs. “Yarichin” (Hito Tarashi)(31:04) English “Womanizer” vs. “Onna Tarashi” (Examples)(33:28) Is Tegoshi Yuya “Charai”? (Celebrity Case Study)(36:27) “Charai” Perceptions: Foreigners in Japan(38:51) Clubbing in Japan: A “Charai” Activity & Stigma(41:47) Is “Charai” Threshold Lower in Japan? (Expressiveness)(43:33) The “Charai” Paradox: Admired & Stigmatized(45:00) “Charai” & Superficiality (Lack of Sincerity)(45:47) Compliments in Japan: “Charai” Suspicion?🎙️ ABOUT THE PODCAST:The GoGen Japanese Podcast explores real Japanese culture, language, and dating beyond the textbooks. No sugarcoating, just honest conversations about life in Japan.====== IMPROVE YOUR JAPANESE =====Listen to our Japanese Dating & Relationships Mini-course for FREE at gogenlanguages.com. Sign up for access to bonus podcasts, courses, livestreams and more! Website:https://www.gogenlanguages.com/Listen to our Dating & Relationships Japanese Audio Course for free on the website!Connect with us!Japanese Education on YouTube: @GoGenJapanese IG: ➡︎ https://www.instagram.com/gogenlanguages/X: ➡︎ https://tinyurl.com/35kunt5yYouTube: ➡︎ https://youtu.be/VBuy9T4MzhQ🔔 SUBSCRIBE for more uncensored insights into Japanese dating culture!
When is a couple officially a couple? Dive deep into the fascinating (and sometimes confusing!) differences between dating cultures in Japan and the US. For more Japanese-language cultural resources, visit https://www.gogenlanguages.com/In this episode we unpack:• Unspoken dating expectations in Japan vs. the U.S. • Key terms—kokuhaku (告白), shinken na otsukiai (真剣なお付き合い), niyowase (匂わせ), honmei (本命), kekkon zentei no otsukiai (結婚前提のお付き合い)—and why “I like you” carries different weight. • How third-date rules, dating apps, and public declarations collide across cultures. • Indirect status checks like the infamous “Christmas question.”If you’ve ever been puzzled by relationship norms, this candid chat will deliver plenty of aha! moments.IMPROVE YOUR JAPANESE Listen to our FREE Dating & Relationships mini-course at https://www.gogenlanguages.com/Website: https://www.gogenlanguages.com/ Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/77hb4wt5 YouTube channelshttps://www.youtube.com/@GoGenLanguageshttps://www.youtube.com/@GoGenJapanese Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gogenlanguages/ X / Twitter: https://tinyurl.com/35kunt5y -------- 00:00 The elusive “official couple” in Japan 00:43 Assumptions in Japanese vs. U.S. dating 01:00 Situationships & misunderstandings 02:07 Navigating a situationship in the U.S. 04:54 “I like you”: decoding the phrase 09:02 Shinken na Otsukiai & dating apps 11:13 "Kekkon o Zentei ni" Dating with marriage in mind 14:40 Public declarations & the “What are we?” talk (Facebook Status Era)16:13 The “Christmas question”: Indirect Ways to Gauge Relationship Status18:17 "Niyowase": soft-launching on social media 25:51 "Honmei": who is “The Real One”? (And "Honmei Choco") 14:40 Physical relationships & the third-date rule 29:00 Birthdays as a romantic milestone 31:42 Physical Relationships ("Nikutai Kankei") & The Third Date Rule32:10 Final Thoughts & Learning More About Romance in Japan
Why is "kokuhaku" (告白) needed to get a Japanese girlfriend? What are dating standards in Japan? How do Japanese people express affection in Japanese? Listen to our Japanese Dating & Relationships Mini-course for FREE at gogenlanguages.com. Are you doomed if you don't kokuhaku (告白)? We discuss some of the drastic differences between Western culture and Japanese dating and relationship culture. We discuss 好き (suki) vs. I love you; the Japanese dating process: 初デート (hatsu dēto), 二回目 (nikaime), 三回目 (sankaime) vs. お出掛け (odekake) vs. American dating process and when things get serious. When is it OK to hook up? What is a 3-on-3 Japanese date (合コン / gōkon)? 0:00 'I love you' used like 好き (suki)4:25 How often should you use 好き (suki) and 大好き (daisuki)?12:15 Hooking up, talking about 1st, 2nd, 3rd dates in Japanese23:31 Is 告白 (kokuhaku) on the 3rd date required?29:54 Man with a sugar momma (ひも / himo)32:34 Making a move when dating in Japan vs. other cultures36:06 Hook up culture in college38:22 The 3-on-3 date in Japan, the 合コン (gōkon)41:59 Moving quickly (手が早い / te-ga-hayai)43:17 official couple vs. friend with benefits
What is kokuhaku (告白) and why is it the most important concept in Japanese dating? This episode covers the "kokuhaku" and other crucial terms and culture that form the basis of Japanese dating and romantic life.Our Romance & Dating Japanese course is now available at gogenlanguages.com. Check out the first 20 minutes for free!(0:00) - Kokuhaku defined, kokuhaku in different School and regional Settings(13:06) - The concept of "moteru" and popularity (15:09) - Exploring "suki-na hito," "suki desu," the nuances of liking vs. loving(23:50) - "Aishiteru" vs. "I love you"(31:30) - saying "suki-desu, tsukiatte kudasai"(36:50) - Saying "I love you" and "tsuki-ga kirei"
What is "charai" (チャラい) in Japanese? Why is it so important to love, romance, and dating? This episode discusses the many facets of this crucial Japanese cultural keyword.Check out our Romance & Dating Japanese Course audiobook! Lesson 1 is now available at gogenlanguages.com for only $2.49 for a limited time. Listen to the first 20 minutes for free on the website!