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Help Me Be Me

Author: Sarah May B.

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Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, author/podcaster/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. I think they'll work for you, too. For all the tools I offer, check out YayWithMe.com

What I share is my personal opinion and not a diagnosis for treatment. I am not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1.

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220 Episodes
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What to do if you’re feeling lonely right now, mid-pandemic. This is for anyone who is suffering because of social isolation. Maybe you are single and none of your friends are single. Maybe you are normally able to visit others, or they normally visit you, but COVID stopped most of that. Maybe you had lots of casual friends but now they have dropped off the map. Maybe you used to socialize in bars or at the gym or at work. Regardless you feel like you have no one. And that is terrifying in how distant it feels. Like you’re on an iceberg floating far away from the mainland. So here are some tools to deal if that sounds like you! As with all my episodes, there are 3 parts: the what why and how. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
This is for anyone who has to self-motivate - maybe you're in the in-between times of employment or you’re trying to get something off the ground that you have made yourself, from scratch. When we only have ourselves to be accountable to. It’s easy to feel like nothing you do matters. When in reality, it does. So if this sounds like you right now – these are some words I wanted to pass along. Having been in those places many a time – what I can see, now in retrospect. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
This is my interview with author and stand-up comic, Sam Tallent. His new book– Running the Light, is fiction– it’s fantastic and it’s available at SamTallent.com A burst of inspiration for anyone worried about whether or not what they want to make– is worth it. This is an episode (inspired by my husband, Adam) all about creativity, going for it and not letting external systems decide your creative output in this life. I found this conversation very energizing and inspiring – I hope you do as well! The book I referenced in this episode is here: https://amzn.to/38xDwkE Some of the books Sam referenced are here: https://amzn.to/38upu35 https://amzn.to/3oA5gub https://amzn.to/2XvyWwE This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
Finding comfort in the face of a year lost and ways to alter your expectations moving forward. Heads up – this is a reshare of a previously recorded episode called ‘The Extra-Strength Lightning Bolt’ but with a new introduction. This is for those of you who can’t get the things you wanted this year. I send you my love and well wishes – and never forget to have hope! This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
Hi friends! This is a short episode all about what the theme of this show means to me. So if you're struggling and you don't know why you keep blowing up your life, this is a little bit of inspiration for you. If you don't like therapy or you don't think there's help out there for you, think again and take a listen. And if you've been through trauma at some point in your life - definitely read this book: https://amzn.to/2Wm5KaN ...and don't lose hope! This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
This is a little inspirational power-up episode for anyone who is feeling stuck and uninspired. This was something I wrote 5 years ago but I felt like it could help people today, right now. So if you're feeling uninspired or stuck, this one's for you! The two people I mention in the episode are here: https://thekickasslife.com/ https://amzn.to/3ngWbGl
It can painful and confusing to deal with all the feels that come up around family, especially when certain members of your family don’t get along. So if you’re having some shit come up – including a lot of hurt around negotiating the way you relate to other family members, then this is an episode for you! This episode is aimed at organizing your feelings so you can remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. The most important priority is to come from love. Why? Because when you do that you are right with yourself. And happy holidays my lovely friends! xoxo The book I reference in this episode is here: https://amzn.to/3m8oG8u This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
Seriously Burned Out

Seriously Burned Out

2020-11-1021:31

This is a power-up episode for anyone who feels exhausted and burned out by their week. Maybe you are multitasking a lot and feeling super overwhelmed by the days and weeks to come. That could be due to COVID, job, lack of job, stress, kids, dating, lack of dating, fear, anxiety, or life crap in general! Heads up this is best done when you can close your eyes – but that’s not a mandate. (BTW, this was recorded last week before the US presidential election – just in case you were wondering..) This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
This is for anyone who is finding themselves in predictable fight loops with their partner or any other close relationship. Maybe you are frustrated they are not doing what you think they should be doing or you find yourself exploding at them then feeling weak and shitty about yourself. It’s about how to find empowerment and align your actions behind what it is you truly want. I’d say it’s the start of the path toward making a change that needs to take place. The two books and the article I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/31uf13I https://amzn.to/37vlU8z https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/15/parenting/kids-tantrums-advice.html This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
This is a power-up (shorter) episode for anyone who has been living in a purely reactive state where they are going through the motions/dealing with thousands of to-do’s. It’s really easy to forget what is good and fun in your life and with that, we start expecting/seeing only the serious and dire around us. It’s also easy to forget what makes you You, and what makes that self-awesome. This is a little energy-setting reminder. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
This is for anyone who wakes up and feels like a different person. One who they really don’t like. And you can’t do anything about it. Maybe you did something really terrible and you thought you knew yourself, but you now realize you didn’t know yourself. It could be a shameful action or a revelation about yourself. It’s paralyzing and ugly and crippling in how it makes you feel. This is rock bottom. The fucking worst of days. Where do you go from here? That’s what this episode is about. Because the hardest most impossible changes we make in life – are a choice. This is a shorter episode because it’s a simple message. The goal of this episode is to help you turn around. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. To get started and also help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy. Visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
How being overly identified with what others think is tied to a lack of self-love. This is for anyone who doesn’t trust themselves and generally doesn’t feel they’re a quality person. If you act in really selfish and self-destructive ways – maybe you betray others and lie or cheat. Or you feel really heavily identified with your body or your appearance, or the attention of others – but you don’t feel there’s much more that’s good about you and who you are, then this is for you. This is about beginning the process of understanding why this is happening and also starting to build up faith that you are a good person. The mindfulness books I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/3izGVla https://amzn.to/32jI371 https://amzn.to/2RkNBHY This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. To get started and also help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy. Visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
If you have insecurities that come up and cause you to push your partner away or cling too closely, this is for you. Maybe you find that you are acting out in petty ways – like, starting fights. Or maybe it comes out in jealousy. When you get insecure, you are taken out of the present joy of a relationship, something that can make you feel haunted or like you are going crazy. The worst part of insecurities is you unfriend yourself in the process. You don’t feel you SHOULD feel the way you do, so it makes you feel shitty about yourself FOR feeling shitty about yourself. Often what we do in these situations is pretend it isn’t happening. So if this sounds true for you – this is an episode for you! As with all my episodes, there are 3 parts – the what, why, and how the tools. This episode is sponsored by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. If you feel stuck in life or something is blocking you from the change you want to make, try Better Help – simply fill out a survey and they will match you with a counselor within 48 hours. And if you want to help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy: visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
This is for anyone who has escaped a relationship with a narcissist and they reach out to you, out of the blue – and how to navigate that situation. So if you were manipulated, taken advantage of, and could not find your way out of a relationship that left you feeling like the shell of a human – you were likely with a narcissist. Getting out of this kind of relationship is extremely difficult – so the eventual reach-out from this person might leave you feeling sick to your stomach. I send you my love and please stay strong! The two previous episodes I have done on this topic are here: https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/episode-50-how-to-break-away-from-a-narcissist-relationship https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/ep-111-how-to-tell-if-youre-dating-a-narcissist The book I mentioned that I like on this topic is here: https://amzn.to/3iFhYEC This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online access to therapists, around the globe. If you want to support this show, use our code for 10% off your first month of therapy. Head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
One of the hardest things to do is give up or accept a loss, even if we are unhappy and have been for a really long time. This is for anyone stuck in ambivalence over a decision to create a change in their life. Sometimes this happens when you are in a long relationship and you feel you can’t leave it – even though you are not happy and you don’t feel in love. Another common scenario is when you are in a field you don’t love but you have been to school for x number of years so you feel like you can’t leave now. It’s so scary to trust the feelings you have when you know they can sometimes change – especially when weighing this against something that is valuable in the eyes of the world. The book I referenced by Dan Ariely is here: https://amzn.to/2DwW9bl This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. If you want to help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy, visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
This is an episode about feeling “not enough” and constantly fixating on an identity that is lower, less-than, lazy, fill-in-the-blank negative adjective. What I am describing is something in part caused by our negativity-bias – that part of our brain that scans for threat and fixates. It’s also an identity: a secret truth – one that you subconsciously adhere to. The explanation for all things in your life, that gets repeated to you in your head whenever you are rejected, or complimented for that matter. It’s a story that restates what you lack and interprets the subtext of every situation. It’s pretty much like building a small fence around your life because it dictates how far you’re willing to strive, how much money you think you deserve, how bold you act at work, and what possibilities you even see as open to you as an individual. Which sucks! Because it’s a story ultimately created by you. It can be reinforced by the outside world but you have the ultimate authorship power to affirm or reject that story. So if you are telling yourself the wrong one, or you want to tune up the habits you have around negative narratives about yourself, this is an episode for you. As with all my episodes there are 3 parts – the what, why and how the tools. This episode is brought to you by Better Help: online therapy with licensed counselors, available around the globe. If you feel stuck in life or something is blocking you from the change you want to make, try Better Help – simply fill out a survey and they will match you with a counselor within 24 hours. And if you want to help out this podcast, use our code and get 10% off your first month of therapy: visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
This is an episode about whether to make your creative passion into your job and how to create for public consumption, especially if you are a sensitive person. I have had several people ask me about podcasting and how to get started in it. I have also mentored several people in creative fields – so this is a blend of what I have shared with those people. In sum this is for anyone making the decision to do creative work and how it should come about in your life so you can thrive. - - - - If you are currently struggling with your mental health and are interested in trying therapy, you can be paired with a therapist within 24 hours via your phone or computer. To get started, simply fill out a brief survey and you will be paired with a licensed counselor – and it’s free to switch if you don’t like the first one you get. For 10% off your first month of therapy and to support this show head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe
This is an episode for those dealing with a fragile emotional state and they don’t know what to do with themselves. Who I am speaking to here are those who are overwhelmed and don’t know where to turn. The letters I am getting are not all related to one source of upheaval: Some of you are struggling to process anger and feelings of powerlessness over injustice. Some of you are struggling to deal with anxiety and sadness on top of anger and powerlessness. Some of you are feeling so many things that you feel as if you are going to break into a million pieces. Some of you feel useless and like nothing you do matters. Some of you are feeling lonely and overwhelmed by COVID and worried about the uncertainty of the future. And there is so much happening right now – so much emotional upheaval, on top of the isolation we are already suffering due to COVID, and the uncertainty of the future, there are the high levels of joblessness. There’s a lot of toxicity in the news and especially in social media right now. In short - there’s a lot to manage, understand and process - especially if you are already someone who suffers from anxiety or depression. And especially if you are someone who really cares about doing the right thing – and you feel unable to be active in that right now. A lot of you who have never experienced trauma or have never been pushed to your threshold as far as dealing with overwhelm and anxiety – now’s a difficult time to be going through that. Why? Because resources for self-soothing and grounding are limited due to COVID. So this episode is slightly different – first I will address those in an immediate state of “I feel like I’m going to explode or jump out a window!” Then I have some tools for the coming weeks for day to day negative thinking and anxiety. - - - - - - - - - - This episode is brought to you by Better Help – remote therapy with licensed counselors, which is a great option if you are emotionally overwhelmed right now. If you want to support this show and get 10% off your first month of therapy, head to TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe xo
This is an episode that answers questions from the audience about fears around having kids, and since I am about to give birth to my second child, I thought it timely! It's a followup to an episode I did a few years back on the same topic. The questions I answer are as follows: 1. I love my life now, I’m afraid of not being able to do what I want when I want to do it. I’m also afraid of another being depending so critically on me. How do I know if I should have kids? 2. How will my anxiety be when I’m a parent? 3. What is it like to never have a break? How do you adjust and get through? 4. What joys of parenting have you found ground you? 5. What are the normal highs and lows and how do you ride them? For anyone new listening to this show, I am a regular person who has lived through a lot of random difficult shit and come out the other end pretty happy, high functioning, with healthy relationships. I am not a therapist or a scholar! So take what helps and leave the rest. A couple of books on this subject (and for once you have a baby) that I recommend are here: https://amzn.to/2yngOfy https://amzn.to/2LV5IBv https://amzn.to/2Zr4fLf https://amzn.to/2XinR1D - - - - - This show is brought to you by our latest sponsor: Better Help – licensed therapists you can see from the privacy of your couch! If you are interested in trying out therapy(at a lower cost), and you want to support this show, visit TryBetterHelp.com/HelpMeBeMe for 10% off your first month of care. xo!
This is an episode for if you have a painful obsession with an ex or a pervasive habit of fixating on relationships: they’re more important than job, personal time, family and friends. And often that relationship is one you know isn’t great – but you still obsess about that person, and it consumes your life. This might be especially painful during quarantine because you’re unable to distract yourself and do something about it. This is about putting yourself in ridiculously desperate positions, clinging to a relationship – even when you know it isn’t right for you. And that gush of fear, terror, loneliness, pain that overwhelms you and causes you to feel like you’d do ANYTHING to get someone to come back to you. It can make you act in crazy and degrading ways – but the pain of not having a person is too great. This was a request from a few different people (some of whom requested it quite a long time ago - so hopefully this is still helpful)!! The two books I mention in this episode are here: https://amzn.to/2SOD9d2 https://amzn.to/35IuJsU For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo!
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Comments (14)

Diana nersisyan

This podcast is incredible. You’re like talking to moi.

Sep 2nd
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Lisa Eve

gifted healer... her voice is so calming.

Jul 19th
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Susanne McIlwain Hatton

I love this. Initially listened for myself but saving it for my friend as well. Thank you.

Apr 24th
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Ana Julia Fishman

really Great pod cast, voice, and insight, honesty

Feb 24th
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Authentictalks 2.0

I love this podcast! No one can be me better than me. There is lots of good info & although I host a podcast I listen to many. Thank you for doing what you do.

Feb 17th
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Jackie

This is my mother. She and my father terrorised our small family as we were growing up. I seem to attract narcissists everywhere I go.

Feb 16th
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Rara Avis

this was fantastic. very wise.

Feb 10th
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MDR

EP 119 such a great episode! I've read 'Lost Connections' and you really hit on some core themes. Also recommendation if you want to watch your spending is an app called 'Mint' by intuit, it's free and helped me see some spending areas I was blind to, plus it helps you categorize and adjust what you're budgeting for. Thank you so much for this podcast, it's awesome!

Jan 30th
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MDR

Great podcast, really appreciate the depth you go into, the insight you have on the topics, and the list of things to get us thinking and working through things. Great content and podcaster!! :)

Jan 29th
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Val Specht

Love this podcast!

Jan 22nd
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just shoni

The best therapy session I've ever had. #gratitude #safeplace 🤗

Jan 20th
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Alena

Thank you, needed the tough love

Nov 3rd
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Victoria Mbaluka

Thank you

Mar 28th
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