Honeydew Me

Good relationships don’t just happen. They’re built on self-awareness, communication, and the willingness to grow. In this episode, Jordanne Sculler, LMHC, shares how to build your own relationship toolkit and start showing up with more curiosity, accountability, and intention, both with yourself and the people around you. We Cover: How to build your own relationship toolkit. The emotional skills and self-awareness you actually need to make relationships work. Why self-awareness is the foundation of connection. Understanding your triggers, patterns, and needs so you can show up more intentionally. The difference between reacting and responding. How to slow down, get grounded, and communicate instead of spiraling. How to break out of old relationship patterns. What to look for when you keep finding yourself in the same dynamics. The link between discomfort and growth. Why learning to sit in discomfort is essential for building emotional intimacy. How to create emotional safety in your relationships. Tools for being honest without being defensive and how to invite that from others. What accountability actually looks like. Why it’s not about blame, but about understanding and repair. The importance of self-connection. How your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have. Connect with Jordanne: ⁠Website⁠  ⁠Instagram⁠  Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Cass & Em? Apply HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We’re getting EXTRA personal. In this episode, we’re talking about our sexual journeys, from growing up with shame and silence to finding confidence, connection, and actual pleasure. No fluff, no fake empowerment, just real conversations about what shaped us, what we had to unlearn, and what finally helped us feel comfortable in our own skin.We cover: How shame shaped our first experiences with sex. And how it still shows up in subtle ways today. What we thought “good sex” was supposed to be. And how those expectations completely missed the point. How confidence around sex actually develops. It’s not instant, and it’s definitely not about performing. What helped us rebuild our relationships with our bodies. The tools, therapy, and mindset shifts that made a difference. Why talking about sex changes everything. We share how these conversations helped us feel more connected, not embarrassed. The difference between being desired and feeling desire. And why that distinction matters way more than you think. How to navigate your own sexual growth. Tips for starting your own “unlearning and relearning” process without judgment. Where to go from here. We share how our new 1:1 coaching program can help you rebuild confidence, communicate better, and reconnect with your body and pleasure. Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE! Sign up for our Patreon to access exclusive content HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Pleasure isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. This week, we’re dipping into the archive and revisiting our episode with Danielle Savory, a certified sex and pleasure coach, mindfulness expert, and all-around powerhouse in helping people reconnect to their bodies and their desires. Together, we’re redefining what pleasure actually means, why it matters, and how to start prioritizing it in your daily life, in and outside the bedroom. We cover: What pleasure really does to your brain. Danielle breaks down how pleasure rewires your mindset, boosts creativity, and helps regulate stress. Why prioritizing pleasure improves every area of your life. From relationships to productivity, she shares how pleasure isn’t indulgent... it’s essential. How to find your personal “why” for pleasure. Learn how to connect pleasure to your deeper values and goals so it feels sustainable and guilt-free. How to prioritize pleasure when you’re busy. Simple, science-backed practices to bring more pleasure into your daily routine. The difference between pursuing pleasure and chasing happiness. Danielle explains why pleasure is a deeper, more embodied path to joy. How stress blocks your ability to feel good. We talk about how the nervous system impacts arousal, presence, and satisfaction and how to start stressing less. How to bring pleasure into the bedroom and beyond. Practical, judgment-free ways to expand your definition of what feeling good can look like. Interested in 1-on-1 coaching? Fill out the interest form here and we'll get back to you ASAP! Join Honey Book Club HERE! Connect with Danielle HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mother-in-law drama? You’re not imagining it, and you’re definitely not alone. This week, we’re joined by Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, a clinical psychologist, author, and relationship expert with over 15 years of experience helping couples communicate and connect better. Together, we unpack the emotional landmines that can show up when your partner’s mom is… a lot, and how to set boundaries that protect your relationship instead of tearing it apart. We cover: Why mother-in-law relationships are so complicated. Dr. Tracy explains the hidden power dynamics and emotional expectations that can make them feel tense or competitive. How to stop feeling “stuck in the middle”. Learn practical communication strategies for when your partner and their mom are clashing, or when you’re the one feeling left out. The difference between boundaries and ultimatums. Why you don’t need to be “the good daughter-in-law” to keep the peace, and how to stand firm without guilt. How to get your partner on the same team. Tips for talking about family tension without triggering defensiveness or blame. When the problem isn’t just her. Dr. Tracy helps us look inward at our own triggers, expectations, and patterns that keep us repeating the same dynamic. The role of empathy in de-escalating family conflict. Why empathy for your partner (and even their mom) can shift everything. How to prioritize your partnership above all else. Actionable steps for strengthening your bond and creating a united front, no matter how messy the family dynamic gets. PREORDER "You, Your Husband & His Mother" here! Honeydew Me Resources: Interested in 1-on-1 coaching with Cass & Em? Fill out our interest form HERE! Join our Patreon HERE for exclusive content! Affiliate Links for Products Mentioned: Try Love Blanket (code DEWME10) HERE! Try Arya HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Struggling with mismatched desire or a dry spell that won’t end? You’re not broken, and neither is your relationship. This week, sex therapist Vanessa Marin, who has 20 years of experience in the field, and her husband Xander, a self-proclaimed “regular dude," reveal the five most common reasons couples stop having sex and explain why desire might not be the problem you think it is. We cover: Why desire isn’t the foundation of a great sex life. Vanessa explains why waiting to “feel in the mood” can actually block connection and intimacy. The top five reasons couples stop having sex. From resentment to routine, Vanessa and Xander unpack what really gets in the way and how to fix it. How to reconnect when sex feels like a chore. Practical tools for rebuilding closeness without pressure or guilt. The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire. Learn why expecting to just “feel it” can lead to frustration, and how to work with your body instead. How to talk about sex without it turning into a fight. Simple scripts and strategies for starting honest, non-defensive conversations. Why long-term desire is a skill, not a spark. Vanessa and Xander share how to cultivate passion and playfulness at every stage of a relationship. How to create a sex life that feels equal and exciting. Real advice for ditching resentment, sharing initiation, and rediscovering fun in bed. Connect with Vanessa and Xander: Join DEEPER Here! Visit their website HERE! Buy their book HERE! ⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience.  The Question: “I’m 23 years old and have never had an orgasm. I have a wonderful boyfriend, whom I very much enjoy having sex with, but cannot finish, and have not been able to with the other people I’ve slept with. I also masturbate relatively frequently, and have tried a few different toys, and manual stimulation as well. I recently talked to my friend about this, who suggested watching porn to see if this helped, but I really just couldn’t get into it. I have a pretty active brain, and sometimes will struggle to be fully in the moment. Even when I’m turned on, and enjoying it, I don’t know if I’m able to be fully present. Am I broken? I know you usually say that everyone is different, but I often find sex and masturbation feels “nice” with smaller pockets of pleasure. My boyfriend is great, and priorities making me feel good with going down on me, encouraging me to use toys when we’re together etc, but I still can’t. Is it possible that I just am not capable of orgasming? I’d really appreciate your opinions and advice." What We Cover in This Episode: Not having an orgasm doesn’t mean you’re broken. We break down the orgasm trap and explain how pressure can make it harder to cum. The biggest orgasm blockers. Stress, shame, “shoulds,” and a wandering mind are some of the most common things that get in the way. How to get out of your head during sex. Grounding tools and easy practices to bring your brain back into your body. Pleasure beyond your usual go-to's. Why focusing only on our go-to's (like penetration) can stall your pleasure and what else to explore instead. Fun ways to shake up your routine. From massage to toys to new locations, we share fresh ideas to make intimacy exciting again. How to talk to your partner about orgasm struggles. Scripts and conversation tips that make asking for support feel sexy instead of stressful. Why small wins matter more than the big O. Celebrating little pockets of pleasure helps you build confidence and move closer to orgasm. When to call in the pros. Pelvic floor PTs, sex therapists, and sex-positive doctors can help work through deeper blocks. Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE! ⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Great sex doesn’t just happen, it’s something we build and nurture over time. This week, we’re joined by Dr. Maria Sophocles, a nationally recognized OB-GYN, menopause and sexual health expert, and fierce advocate for women’s pleasure. She’s here to talk about why rethinking sex in your 20s and 30s is the key to having great sex for life, how to close the “bedroom gap,” and why better sex education matters for every generation. Why your 20s and 30s set the stage for lifelong sexual health. Dr. Sophocles explains how your early approach to intimacy impacts desire, connection, and pleasure as you age. The bedroom gap and why it matters. Learn what the bedroom gap is, why women are most impacted, and how we can close it. The missing piece in most sex education. We talk about why traditional sex ed focuses on fear instead of pleasure and how that leaves us unprepared. How to rethink sex as a skill you can grow. From communication to curiosity, Dr. Sophocles shows us why sex isn’t static and how it can keep evolving. The role of menopause in sexual health. Understand how desire and arousal change in midlife and what support actually works. Why talking about sex matters. Breaking down shame and silence is the first step toward better intimacy and pleasure. Practical steps for better sex at any age. Dr. Sophocles shares accessible tips for people to feel more confident and connected in the bedroom. Connect with Dr. Sophocles: Preorder "The Bedroom Gap" HERE! On Instagram On her website ⁠⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dirty talk can feel intimidating, but it doesn’t have to. This episode gives you a step-by-step guide to finding your voice, building confidence, and learning exactly what to say. Whether you want to explore a dominant, bratty, or praise-filled style, you’ll leave with practical tools, scripts, and a game plan to make dirty talk feel fun, natural, and hot. We cover: Why dirty talk feels hard at first. Understand the mental blocks that arise, from not knowing what to say to worrying about your partner’s reaction. How to figure out what turns you on. Use self-exploration, journaling prompts, and your masturbation practice to get clear on your turn-ons and desires.How to practice without pressure Practicing outside the bedroom. Start outside the bedroom with sexting or casual conversations so dirty talk feels easier when things heat up. Finding your dirty talk persona. Learn how to embody confidence and play with different tones like dominant, bratty, simpy, or simply yourself. Dirty talk examples you can steal. Get real phrases and scripts you can try right away, no overthinking required. What to say when your mind goes blank. Discover how to keep things flowing by describing the moment, giving direction, or using playful vocab. Dirty Mad Libs for beginners. Fill-in-the-blank prompts that make practicing fun and help you find your voice. How to handle when you say something weird. Why awkward moments are normal and how laughing it off can make intimacy even hotter. Your foolproof dirty talk game plan. Step into the bedroom with a simple path to more confidence, better communication, and hotter sex. ⁠Join our Patreon and access the "Dirty Talk 101" downloadable HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If your self-worth depends on being liked, playing the “good girl,” or keeping everyone else happy, you’re stuck in Emotional Outsourcing™. In this episode, our bestie Bea Albina, a UCSF-trained Family Nurse Practitioner, Master Certified Life Coach, and author of End Emotional Outsourcing™, is back and teaching us how to quit people-pleasing, perfectionism, and codependent habits FOR GOOD. We cover: Why we emotionally outsource in the first place. Bea explains how codependency, people-pleasing, and perfectionism are survival strategies we learned early on, NOT character flaws. How Emotional Outsourcing™ keeps you stuck and miserable. We unpack the hidden ways outsourcing your worth drains your energy and relationships. The nervous system’s role in healing. Bea shares SIMPLE somatic and polyvagal tools to help you actually regulate and build resilience. Why people-pleasing sometimes feels safer than saying no. Learn how your brain and body keep you locked in old patterns and how to break free. Practical ways to set boundaries without guilt. Simple scripts and reframes for protecting your energy without shame. How to move from perfectionism to self-trust. Shift from performing for approval to living as your authentic self. Daily practices to reconnect with your worth. Because you are SO worthy. Bea teaches us grounding tools to build confidence, self-compassion, and inner safety. PREORDER BEA'S BOOK HERE! (and then go to her website HERE to get all the special preorder goodies!) ⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience.  The Question: "Okay, so I’m really trying to work on my sex shame, and one thing I cannot get past is fantasizing. Like… every time I start, my brain is either like ‘this is unrealistic,’ ‘you should be embarrassed,’ or ‘lol you don’t even have a partner.’ How do I shut all that down so I can actually enjoy it and then, once I do have a fantasy, how do I make it real?" What We Cover in This Episode: Why shame gets in the way of sexual fantasies. We unpack why your brain tells you your desires are “weird” or “wrong” and how to push past that shame. How to reframe “unrealistic” fantasies. Your imagination has no rules. We talk about ways to enjoy sexual fantasies in your head, share them out loud, or scale them for real life. Exploring fantasies without a partner. Solo play is the perfect place to experiment. From touch to toys to creativity, we show you how to make it hot on your own. Why fantasizing isn’t cheating when you're in a relationship. We break down why it’s totally normal (and even healthy for intimacy) to think about scenarios that don’t always include your partner. How to talk to your partner about fantasy. Scripts, conversation starters, and real-world examples for bringing your fantasies into the bedroom. The “reality scale” for fantasies. A framework to help you decide if a fantasy should stay in your head, be shared in conversation, or acted out in bed. Ways to bring fantasies to life solo or partnered. From porn to role play, we share creative ways to turn your ideas into real experiences. ⁠Join our Patreon and access the "Hot Girl Fantasy Guide" (+ so much more bonus content) HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Being single isn’t a waiting room and it’s definitely not a personal failure. This week, we’re diving into the archive and revisiting our episode with Shani Silver, writer, content creator, and author of A Single Revolution, to unpack the harmful narratives that keep single women stuck in shame, comparison, and “search mode.” Shani’s work challenges the idea that romantic partnership is the ultimate goal and offers a powerful reframe: your life is already worth celebrating right now. We talk about how to stop centering dating apps, how to reclaim your time and joy, and why being single is not the problem... shame is. We cover: Why singlehood isn’t a problem to be fixed. Shani unpacks how society pathologizes being single and why that’s BS. How to live a full, exciting life without a relationship. From travel to career to pleasure, we explore what it means to prioritize yourself. Why dating content fails single people. We talk about the toxic dating culture that keeps people chasing “the one” instead of feeling whole on their own. What it means to want partnership, but not suffer without it. Shani offers real talk on being open to love without letting it define your worth. How to stop treating singlehood like a temporary phase. Your life isn’t on pause. We explore how to fully engage with your present, not just your potential future. The emotional toll of romanticizing relationships. From internalized shame to feeling “behind,” we look at the stories that are hurting us and how to rewrite the shit out of them. Why single people deserve better content. You’re not unfinished. Shani calls out the lack of empowering, non-dating-focused media for single people and shares what she’s doing about it. Tangible mindset shifts to start enjoying your life now. Shani shares her go-to tools for reframing singlehood and finding joy without needing a plus-one. Connect with Shani: On her website Get her book "A Single Revolution" On Instagram ⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content, downloadables, extended episodes and more HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Curious about spanking, hair pulling, or a little consensual roughness... but not sure where to start? You're not alone. In this episode, we’re joined by Luna Matatas, a renowned Sex and Pleasure Educator known for her playful, trauma-informed approach to kink and impact play. With over 15 years of experience in the field, Luna walks us through how to explore rough sex in ways that feel hot, empowering, and safe. We talk about how to build trust, use communication as foreplay, and find the confidence to go after what you really want in bed, without shame or second-guessing. We cover: What impact play actually is and what counts as "rough sex". From spanking to slapping to hair pulling, Luna breaks down what it means to play with power and sensation. Why communication is the sexiest part of kink. Learn how to express what you want, ask for what you’re curious about, and create safety before the clothes come off. The difference between pain and pleasurable pain. We unpack how intensity can feel good and how to find your own personal “yes” when exploring impact play. How to introduce rough sex into your relationship without making it weird. Luna gives real-life scripts and ideas to help you start the convo (even if you’re nervous). Why you don’t need to be “kinky” to enjoy rough sex. Spoiler: You don’t need a leather closet or a dungeon to explore power and pleasure. What beginners get wrong about spanking and dominance. Tips for avoiding the most common mistakes and making your first experience feel hot (not awkward). How to navigate insecurity, shame, or body image blocks. We talk about how to build confidence in yourself, especially if you feel hesitant about being “too much.” Tools, toys, and mindset shifts to get started with impact play. Luna shares her favorite low-pressure ways to experiment, whether you’re solo or partnered. Connect with Luna: On Instagram On her website ⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content, downloadables, extended episodes and more HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Your imagination might be the most powerful tool in your sex life and this episode will show you EXACTLY how to use it. We’re talking all things sexual fantasies—what they are, how to discover your desires, and creative ways to bring them to life. Whether you’re looking for fantasy roleplay ideas, inspiration for solo play, or ways to spice things up with a partner, this episode gives you the tools to confidently explore your turn-ons without shame. We cover: What a sexual fantasy really is (and why it doesn’t need to be a full-blown movie plot to be hot) Emma’s and Cass’s personal experiences with fantasy—lifelong imagination vs. learning how to start How to find your sexual fantasies: journaling prompts, reflection questions, and mindset shifts to help you explore your desires Sources of inspiration: audio erotica, porn, roleplay scenarios, movies, books, and revisiting your earliest turn-on moments Fun discovery tools for the bedroom: “Would You Rather,” Fantasy Mad Libs, and a fantasy-only Want/Will/Won’t list Fantasy mood boards: how to create visual inspiration to spark new ideas and spot your desire themes Most popular fantasies—from threesomes to public play—and why almost anything you can dream up already exists Fantasy roleplay ideas with and without power dynamics to help you experiment safely and creatively Fantasy Mapping: choosing your setting, characters, vibe, turn-ons, and optional “why” behind your hottest scenarios How to use fantasies in the bedroom: during solo play, partnered play, public encounters, date nights, or sexting Join our Patreon and access the "Hot Girl Fantasy Guide" HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if sexual confidence had nothing to do with experience and everything to do with trusting yourself? With a background in sexual health research and a passion for pleasure-first education, Caitlin V Neal breaks down what sexual confidence really means and how to build it (even if you’re starting from zero). From quieting your inner critic to getting out of performance mode, Caitlin shares actionable, empowering ways to feel grounded, connected, and fully in your body. What We Cover in This Episode: What sexual confidence actually is (and what it’s not). Hint: It’s not about being loud, kinky, or “experienced.” Confidence is about self-trust, self-awareness, and staying connected to your needs. Why performance culture is killing our confidence. We unpack how porn, media, and even hookup culture teach us to perform instead of feel and how to unlearn that. How to stop judging yourself in the moment. Caitlin shares tangible tools for staying present, even when your inner critic shows up in bed. The link between nervous system regulation and confidence. If you’ve ever frozen, dissociated, or gone into people-pleasing mode during sex... this part is for you. The #1 mindset shift to build confidence fast. This reframe alone will change the way you show up in intimacy, especially if you struggle with body image or “being too much.” What to do when your partner’s confidence (or lack of it) affects yours. Real talk on how to navigate mismatched confidence levels and build each other up without pressure. Why communication is confidence. From asking for what you want to setting boundaries, you can’t fake confidence when your voice isn’t in the room. Small steps that build big confidence over time. Caitlin walks us through daily rituals and rewiring techniques to cultivate long-term, unshakeable sexual confidence. Connect with Caitlin: On her website On Instagram On TikTok ⁠Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more!⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If your sex drive tanked after starting antidepressants, you’re not alone and you’re definitely not broken. This week we’re dipping into the Honey Aerchive and revisiting our episode with Dr. Jordan Rullo, a Clinical Health Psychologist and Sex Therapist who specializes in sexual function. Dr. Rullo explains how antidepressants impact desire, arousal, and orgasm, and what you can actually do to bring the spark (and your confidence) back. What We Cover in This Episode: The science behind antidepressants and sexual function. We break down how these medications affect brain chemistry and why they often lower desire. Why your libido isn’t “broken.” Dr. Rullo explains how changes in sex drive are a common side effect, not a personal failing. The difference between desire and arousal (and why it matters). Understanding these two states can help you better navigate sexual changes on medication. How to talk to your partner when your sex drive shifts. Real scripts and strategies to keep communication open and shame-free. Tips for getting in the mood (without forcing it). From sensory play to scheduling intimacy, we share tools that actually work. What to ask your doctor about antidepressant side effects. Learn how to advocate for yourself if your medication is impacting your sexual wellness. The emotional side of sexual changes. We explore how antidepressants can affect confidence, connection, and self-image, and what to do about it. Simple ways to reconnect with your body and pleasure. Dr. Rullo shares techniques to help you stay present and rebuild sexual confidence. Connect with Dr. Jordan Rullo HERE! ⁠Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more!⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why do relationships feel so DAMN complicated these days? Modern love comes with sky-high expectations—partners are expected to be our best friend, therapist, co-parent, and soulmate all rolled into one. In this episode, Nicholas Velotta, Ph.D. student and Head of Research at Arya, shares why relationships feel harder today, what the science of intimacy has to tell us, and how building community (and redefining partnership) can take the pressure off and bring the spark back. What We Cover in This Episode: Why relationships feel harder than ever. Nicholas explains the cultural and social shifts that have added new layers of pressure to modern love. The myth of “one person meeting all your needs." How expecting a romantic partner to fill every role—friend, confidant, cheerleader—sets us up for frustration. The power of community for your love life. Why friendships and support systems are essential for a healthy relationship + how to build them. Redefining partnership and effort. We talk about the natural ebb and flow of giving and receiving, and why sometimes it’s okay to carry more of the weight. Taking action when things feel stagnant. Small, research-backed steps to break out of disconnection and rebuild intimacy. What the latest intimacy research has to teach us. Nicholas shares findings from his work on the tools couples need to stay connected long-term.  How Arya is reshaping relationship and sexual wellness. A look at the couples platform helping partners strengthen their bond and stay curious. Sign up for Arya HERE *affiliate* Connect with Nicholas HERE! Follow Nicholas on Instagram HERE! Follow Nicholas on TikTok HERE! ⁠Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more!⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience.  The Question: “Hi there! Been a looooong time listener of the pod and have a question/need for advice. My fiancé and I have been together for almost 4 years, we’re in a super healthy relationship, and I feel very happy with him. The last few months or so, our sex life has been a little less than normal and less than what I hoped for. We still have satisfying sex, but not as frequently, and it’s pretty formulaic—we go to what we know works. I feel like I’m initiating more (probably 80% me, 20% him), and because of that, I get told no more, which never feels good. I’ve been wanting to get out of this lull to make our sex life fantastic again. Then a few days ago, I woke up and saw him looking at sexual reels of Instagram models, saving and screenshotting them. He didn’t know I could see his screen, and I haven’t said anything. We both watch porn and have talked about boundaries—this doesn’t cross any, but I still feel so bad/jealous/insecure. I think it’s because when we talk about porn abstractly, it’s easier to process, but actually seeing it hurt my feelings. My brain keeps telling me the story that he has sexual feelings about these women that he doesn’t seem to have about me, and I hate that thought. I’m upset with him, which isn’t fair because he didn’t break my trust, but it really sucked to see. I’m feeling like I don’t want to be affectionate right now. I wish I could be more evolved about this, and I’d love your perspective/advice on how to move past this and not be so hurt by something very normal.” What We Cover in This Episode: How to get out of a sex lull. Whether things have gotten routine or you're not having sex as often as you'd like, we share ways to shift the energy and reignite desire. Rethinking what it means to initiate sex. Initiation doesn’t always have to be physical or as blunt as "want to have sex?" We walk through ways to initiate that feel natural, playful, and pressure-free. How to figure out what your partner needs (without guessing). Questions to ask, things to notice, and ways to open up honest convo about how he experiences intimacy and desire. Tools to navigate rejection without resentment. We share strategies to help both partners handle “not tonight” moments with care, like setting expectations, creating opt-in moments, and building connection even when sex isn’t on the table. When he’s looking at Instagram models...what does it mean and what should you do? We unpack the feelings that come up when your partner engages with sexual content online, how to rework boundaries around it, and what to say if it hurts, even if it technically doesn’t “break a rule.” Specific phrases to help you start and steer the conversation. We give you language you can borrow or tweak, including a mini role-play of how we’d personally approach this chat. Tools to spice things up and try something new. From foreplay ideas to spicy games, we suggest ways to add novelty, connection, and fun back into your routine. A big heaping dose of validation, because this is hard. If you’re the one initiating most of the time, feeling rejected, or wondering if it’s even okay to bring this up, you’re not alone, and you’re not asking for too much. ⁠Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more!⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you’ve ever had sex you didn’t really want to have— to avoid awkwardness, not hurt your partner's feelings or just get it over with—this episode is for you. We’re joined by Claire Perelman, a Queer, Jewish, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist based in the Bay Area who specializes in working with queer, poly, and kink communities. Claire breaks down what it really means to “push through” during sex, why so many of us do it (even when we know we don’t want to), and how to start honoring your boundaries without guilt, shutdown, or shame. We cover: What “pushing through” actually means and why it’s so common. We define what it looks like to override your body’s signals during sex and why so many women and femmes have been conditioned to tolerate discomfort in the name of connection. How to stop saying yes when your body is screaming no. Claire offers practical tools for tuning into your physical cues, catching freeze responses, and recognizing when you’re dissociating mid-sex. Why “not wanting sex” isn’t a problem to fix. Spoiler: Your desire isn’t broken. We explore how shame, performance pressure, and people-pleasing distort our understanding of healthy sexual agency. How to say no without apologizing or over-explaining. From scripts to mindset shifts, Claire gives you real-life ways to assert your boundaries without guilt. The nervous system’s role in sexual shutdown. We talk about what happens biologically when you freeze or dissociate and how to gently regulate your nervous system so you can feel safe again. When sex feels painful or uncomfortable (and you just go with it anyway). Claire gets real about the internalized messages that normalize discomfort and how to unlearn them especially if you’ve ever endured pain just to avoid awkwardness. How to rebuild intimacy after breaking your own boundaries. If you’ve pushed through in the past, you’re not alone. Claire walks us through how to reconnect with yourself and rebuild trust in your own “no.” Why pleasure requires choice—not obligation. True intimacy comes from wanting to be there. We unpack how to create space for real, enthusiastic consent in your sex life. Connect with Claire: On her website⁠ ⁠On Instagram⁠ ⁠Subscribe to our Patreon HERE to watch this episode and access exclusive content! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience.  The Question: "I’m in my mid-20s now, but I still feel like my breakup from high school is affecting the way I show up in relationships. Like… my attachment style, my trust issues, the way I react when someone pulls away. It all kind of traces back to that first heartbreak. Shouldn’t I be over it by now? It feels silly sometimes, but it also feels so real. Am I broken or is this just… a thing?" What We Cover in This Episode: The breakup that still haunts you (yes, that one). We revisit the heartbreaks that shaped us and why your pain from that relationship is still valid. Why your younger self didn’t need to “know better." A compassionate reframe for those moments when you look back and think, “Why didn’t I know better?” (Spoiler: it wasn’t your job to know. It was your job to do the best you could with what you had.) Validation is not weakness—it’s healing. We talk about why needing to feel seen in your pain isn’t dramatic, it’s human. Unpacking what breakups really bring up (hint: it’s not just about your ex). From attachment wounds to trust issues, we explore how heartbreak echoes in other areas of life. How to offer yourself the compassion you never got. Step-by-step reflections on how to talk to yourself like someone you deeply care about. Letting go with grace and a little bit of rage. We normalize the complexity of closure and what it actually takes to move forward. Creating rituals that honor your healing. Whether it’s a playlist, a letter, or a literal ceremony, we explore ways to mark the end of a chapter. Why your sadness makes sense. A gentle reminder that you don’t have to defend or downplay your grief—especially when no one else understood it at the time. Resources: ⁠⁠Get The Hot Girl Closure Ceremony Downloadable HERE!⁠ ⁠Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Self-trust isn’t just a cute idea, it’s the foundation for literally everything. This week we’re joined by Emily Romero, trauma therapist turned author and creator of The Self-Trust Model™, to talk about how to stop overthinking, start trusting your gut, and finally feel like you’ve got you. If people-pleasing, insecurity, or indecision have been running the show... this one’s for you. We cover: Why people-pleasing, overthinking, and low self-worth all come back to self-trust. If you’re stuck in “I don’t know what I want” mode, Emily breaks down how that’s not a personality flaw, it’s a self-trust issue. What to do when you feel totally disconnected from yourself. Tired of second-guessing every decision? Here’s how to reconnect with your inner voice (even if it feels really quiet right now). How to build self-trust without needing to be perfect. Trusting yourself doesn’t mean you always get it “right," it means knowing you’ll have your own back either way. The sneaky ways we self-abandon in everyday life. From ignoring your gut to staying in the wrong relationship, Emily shares how to spot the tiny ways you break trust with yourself. Why trying to be the “good girl” keeps you stuck. We unpack how internalized shame, pressure to perform, and perfectionism block you from feeling safe in your own body. What sexual empowerment has to do with self-trust. Feeling confident in bed starts way before the bedroom. Emily explains how self-trust shapes desire, boundaries, and pleasure. How to trust yourself during a big life shift (like a breakup or job loss). When everything’s changing, it’s easy to spiral. Here’s how to stay grounded and move forward with clarity. The difference between fear and intuition (and how to tell them apart). Is it a red flag or just anxiety? Emily breaks down how to read your body’s signals and know what’s actually right for you. BUY EMILY'S BOOK HERE! Connect with Emily: Listen to her podcast Visit her website Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices