216. How to Talk About Sex With Anyone: Hookups, Long-Term Relationships & Everything In Between
Update: 2025-05-28
Description
In this episode, we’re joined by Nicole Thompson, a sex and relationship psychotherapist and host of the Modern Anarchy Podcast. Nicole brings a trauma-informed, radically compassionate lens to the way we talk about sex, relationships, and desire. Together, we explore how shame holds us back from pleasure and how we can start speaking up, owning what we want, and creating the kinds of connections that feel liberating and real.
What we cover in this episode:
How to talk about sex, whether you're in a long-term relationship or a casual hookup. Practical tools for naming your needs without shame, fear, or performance.
Why community is key to sexual confidence. How surrounding yourself with sex-positive people helps normalize your desires.
The silent damage of purity culture. How early messages about sex create shame and how to unlearn them.
How to overcome shame after a hookup. Reframing “sluttiness” as something powerful, not something to regret.
Why self-pleasure is step one to communication. What Nicole recommends for anyone struggling to talk about what they want.
To feel big pleasure, you have to feel big feelings. Why crying and cumming might be more connected than you think.
How to find the words for what you want. Tips for discovering and articulating your desires, even if you’ve never done it before.
Resources + Links
Follow Nicole on Instagram: @modernanarchypodcast
Listen to the Modern Anarchy Podcast HERE!
Get The Psychedelic Jealousy Guide HERE!
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