In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Jeff Perla, host of Oh Dear I’m Queer, for a candid, funny, and unfiltered conversation about queer sex, dating, and intimacy. We discuss:Morning hookups, blowjob confessions, and the idea of “nut clarity”Seeing Jeff's nudes & live reactionsSnapchat vs. Instagram, hookup apps, and why Jeff made hoe cards while Alexa makes hoe friendship bracelets Bold ways of flirting IRLFire Island and Hamptons stories, including Jeff’s secret hookup with “Chad,” a DL late-blooming bi guySex toys, magic wands, vibrating cock rings, and why toys aren’t just for womenGay hookup culture, Grindr chats, and whether there’s really a “top shortage”Therapy insights: Jeff wants to settle down and went to therapy to see if he's the problemBi men in gay spaces, biphobia, and the fear of being “left for a woman”Girls’ gays vs. gays’ gays, and the tension over women in gay barsEating disorders, body image, intermittent fasting, and gay pool party pressuresOpen relationships, monogamy fears, and rules like “our bed is our bed”Family dynamics, supportive siblings, grandma’s vibrator advice, and parents learning about OnlyFansWhat makes a “pretty dick,” hygiene, cut vs. uncut, and why enthusiasm matters most in oral sexGrindr bios, faceless profiles, and navigating hookup app etiquetteThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2536-alexa 🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram! www.patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Ali Weiss, New York native, host of Tales of Taboo and unapologetic oversharer, for a raw conversation about rejection, vulnerability, and why we’re all obsessed with the forbidden.A funny, honest, and deeply relatable episode on being human, craving connection, and owning your messy truth, why rejection stings less when you know yourself, and how vulnerability can be both a calling and a curse. Ali opens up about running her anonymous confessions podcast, burnout, parasocial relationships, and why taboos like sex work and drug dealing deserve compassion instead of judgment.Other topics we cover:The complicated relationship with oversharing and boundariesWhy rejection isn’t the end of the world, and how to approach people IRLThe obsession with being a “clean girl” vs embracing messinessWhy taboo fascinates us and how it secretly connects us allFriendships that go deeper than relationshipsLearning to accept yourself so you can handle rejection and find real connection👉 Support the podcast and get bonus content on Patreon: patreon.com/sexwithalexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back in bed with Vee, co-host of Girls Gone Deep and almost-certified somatic sex and relationship coach, for a juicy conversation all about sexual fantasies.We cover:Why fantasies are so important for a fulfilling sex lifeThe difference between fantasies you should keep in your head vs. the ones you might want to bring to lifeVee’s wildest fulfilled fantasies (from MFM threesomes to DVPs and even public play at Broadway)What it’s really like to plan a gangbang (and why you might not want to force it)How shame around our bodies, vulvas, and desires can hold us back — and how to push through itFantasies that should stay fantasies (monster-fucking, Khaleesi worship scenes, etc.)The role of community and how to find people who will help make your fantasies a realityFantasies that grow out of childhood wounds, trauma, or praise/degradation kinksHow to actually ask for what you want and deal with rejectionTools for couples and individuals to explore fantasies safely (even if they never leave your imagination)It’s raw, personal, and full of both funny and vulnerable stories — from getting DVPed on a cruise to being worshipped by multiple partners at once. If you’ve ever wondered where fantasies come from, how to share them without shame, or how to make them happen in real life, this is your guide.💋 Support the show on Patreon for bonus content, behind-the-scenes, and more at patreon.com/sexwithalexaThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2536-alexa 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified sexologist and Wonderlust founder Natassia Miller for a deep dive into one of the most common struggles in relationships: mismatched desire.We break down why sex can get boring in long-term relationships, why the honeymoon phase always fades, and how to actually reignite passion with your partner. From exploring fantasies to reducing the mental load, this episode is a roadmap for couples who feel like they’re not having enough sex — or not the kind of sex they really want.We talk about:Why desire always shifts after the honeymoon phaseThe role of new relationship energy and why it fadesHow mismatched desire shows up in nearly every coupleWhy foreplay is more than just sex — it’s in the daily detailsThe importance of “I statements” vs. blaming your partnerHow mental load kills desire, especially for womenThe power of non-sexual touch and small moments of intimacyWhy women get bored faster in monogamy — and what to do about itHow to bring up bad or boring sex without crushing your partner’s egoThe role of masturbation in keeping connection aliveIntroducing novelty, fantasy and kink safely with your partnerTools like intimacy card decks to make sexual communication easierWhen to see a professional and how one session can change everything👉 If you loved this episode and want to support the show, join my Patreon for bonus content, behind-the-scenes chats, and extra Q&As: patreon.com/sexwithalexa.

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Elle Chase (@theellechase), certified life coach, sexologist, sexuality educator, author, and one of the most respected voices in the body acceptance and body neutrality movement. Together, they unpack how body image affects intimacy, relationships, and the ability to feel sexy in your own skin.In this episode, we dive into:The difference between body love and body neutralityBaby steps to start feeling sexy when you don’t love your bodyHow body image influences desire and long-term passionBuilding connection through touch, intimacy, and skin hungerWhy self-compassion and communication matter more than confidenceHow to reframe sex as connection, not performanceFor unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes on my own dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram, join my Patreon: patreon.com/sexwithalexaThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 60% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2532-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Laura Desirée — absolute stranger, intimacy coordinator and pleasure educator — for an unforgettable conversation about how sex, grief, and shame shape our identities.In this episode, we dive into:What intimacy coordinators actually do on film sets and why they make sex scenes better, not worseWhy Hollywood has failed at portraying female pleasure and how it should look insteadThe messy overlap of grief and sex and how pleasure can become healingThe role of kink in teaching care, communication, and boundariesLaura’s experience as an identical twin and how sex became her path to self-discoveryOwning shame, embracing vulnerability, and why our “messiest” moments can make us closer to othersA hilariously human story of intimacy, trust, and… running out of toilet paperLaura’s raw honesty and fearless approach to sex and pleasure will make you rethink how you see intimacy, on screen and in your own life.✨ For more uncensored conversations, bonus clips, and behind-the-scenes stories, join me on Patreon.

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Gabriella Scaringe, founder of Cherri, to explore sexuality and vulvas in the real world — pubic hair trends, labia diversity, harmful language we’ve internalized, and how better design (hello, wide-gusset underwear and swim) can change how we feel in our bodies. We get specific about what actually shows up in everyday life (the “bulge,” the “lip slip”), why that’s normal, and how to shop for pieces that fit and feel good.What we cover:Pubic hair culture now vs. then: why the bush is back, personal preferences (including during oral), and how “cleanliness” isn’t about being hairless.Language that harms: the “pastrami vulva” era, innie/outie shame, and how those jokes warp body image.Vulva diversity 101: long inner labia are common; symmetry isn’t the standard; vulvas are supposed to be visible sometimes under clothes.The “bulge” discourse: when someone called out a “bulge” in a swimsuit pic and Gabriella’s clap-back — it was her vulva. Why visibility ≠ indecency.What “lip slip” really means and how design solves for it (without erasing your shape).Gusset realities: the industry’s average ~2.5" gusset vs. Cherri’s wider cuts (e.g., a 4" gusset on an XS G-string) and why width, placement, and size-inclusive fit matter.Behind the brand: insights from Cherri’s 5,000+-person survey of vulva owners, fit testing across sizes, and why styles take time to release.Hygiene myths we’re done with: hair does not equal dirty; vulvas have scent; how to care without over-stripping your skin.Body neutrality vs. “love your body”: moving from harm to comfort first, confidence as a practice, and giving yourself permission to pick what feels good.Shopping smarter: what to look for in undies and swim (gusset width, rise, fabric, coverage options) and letting comfort lead.Our own stories: growing up through the era of hairless ideals, changing tastes, and why embracing “real” bodies feels so freeing.🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 60% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2532-alexa 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back with another deep dive into the world of dating, this time with award-winning sex educator and ghostwriter Connie Collins (@thefirstdatediaries). We explore the state of relationships today and reveal what keeps people stuck in situationships and unhappy. It’s often not about your dating profile or messaging speed, but deeper issues like fear of vulnerability and emotional shutdowns.We cover:- Understanding sexuality and how to discover what you truly want in relationships.- Recognizing emotional availability and its impact on your dating experience.- The loneliness of pretending you're okay with casual dating when you’re not- The pressure to be chill, cool and detached and why that hurts us more than it helps- The concept of “pussy economics” and why your access is valuable- Real red flags we ignore and green flags we mistake for red flags.👉 Want more? Join my Patreon for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes takes on my personal dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram. Go to patreon.com/sexwithalexa to get in.

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back in bed for another season and she’s kicking things off with adult film icon Small Hands (Aaron Thompson). From monogamy and marriage to aftercare and emotional intimacy on set, Aaron shares what it's really like to live a life of performance — and what happens when the cameras stop rolling. We get deep on female pleasure, working with Owen Gray, porn myths, and how to separate real connection from performative sex. If you’ve ever wondered what love looks like when sex is your job, this one’s for you.In this episode, we talk about:how porn shaped Aaron’s real-life relationshipswhat it's like to be monogamous while working in the adult industrythe emotional aftermath of performing sex on camerawhether it's really possible to have sex without catching feelingshow to separate intimacy from performanceAaron’s recent divorce and what it taught himhis take on aftercare and why it's necessary in pornhow he advocates for female pleasure in a male-driven industrywhat it's like working with Owen Gray and the hype around himhis thoughts on what sex acts are overrated vs underratedwhat porn gets right and wrong about real desire🎧 Love the pod? Support me on Patreon! You’ll get unedited episodes, bonus stories from my dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram: patreon.com/sexwithalexaThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-july 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Beth Sparksfire — the Queen of Hacienda, New York’s legendary sex-positive community and party scene.Together, we dive deep into how to be a thoughtful, respectful, and unforgettable sex party guest. Whether you’re a first-timer or looking to level up, Beth shares the real dos and don'ts from her years curating erotic experiences.We cover:What to know before attending your first sex partyHow to navigate consent, conversation, and energyWhy curiosity is sexy, but entitlement isn'tWhat not to do when you're naked in publicThe importance of aftercare — even at play partiesCreating safer, queerer, more intentional spacesHow Hacienda became the gold standard for sex-positive events✨ As always, the unedited version of this episode — plus more about my personal dating life, spicy stories, and access to my Close Friends on IG — is on Patreon!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Birna Gustafsson, sex educator with a master's in public health and host of Explicit Studies, to talk about the sea of sexual misinformation we’re constantly swimming in—and how to get better at spotting it.Together, they bust myths that still circulate widely online (even in sex-positive spaces) and explore how shame, purity culture, and bad science shape our sexual health beliefs.Expect to learn:The actual failure rate of pulling out and why it’s riskier than you thinkWhy douching is unnecessary—and can be harmfulWhether you can get pregnant on your period (hint: you can)The truth about HPV, oral sex, and throat cancerWhy orgasms aren’t the only marker of “good sex”The dangers of black-and-white sex advice on social mediaHow kids are absorbing harmful beliefs from TikTok, porn & uninformed adultsWhy pegging can turn men into better lovers 👀Why we must improve sex ed for healthcare professionalsHow to know if your sex advice source is trustworthyBirna also shares how she's helping train nurses and midwives to better support patients with inclusive, evidence-based sex education. Plus: her favorite sex ed resources, books, and where to go if you're ready to learn the truth.✨ Want more? Unedited episodes, Alexa's personal dating stories, and her IG Close Friends are all on Patreon: patreon.com/sexwithalexaThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-july 

In this very juicy and educational episode, sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Jamie Joy, a queer, trans certified sex educator and full-blown fisting aficionado. We dive deep (literally and figuratively) into the world of fisting, from how to prep and practice it safely to the surprising aftercare and emotional intensity it can carry.We also discuss:How to prep for fisting (from hygiene to headspace)Differences between vaginal and anal fistingSafety tips, including glove use, nails, and douchingWhy fisting is more emotional and intimate than you’d thinkWhat to do if you're curious about trying itDebunking myths about poop, pain, and gay panicThe role of breath, communication, and pleasure in anal playThe stigma around anal play—especially for straight menJamie's favorite techniques and their own mold of their fist (yes, really!)You can check out more of Jamie's work here!🌈 New to the pod? Subscribe, rate & leave us a review. And if you want unedited episodes + a peek into my personal dating and sex life, join us on Patreon. You’ll also get added to my IG Close Friends list 💌Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-june

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Thea Rose, host of Seggs Talk Radio and founder of a new STI testing startup, to talk about what it really takes to build a sex-positive business—from scratch, with heart, and without losing your mind.Thea opens up about her messy, honest path as a multi-hyphenate creator, how she juggles podcasting, launching companies, and staying grounded through burnout, ADHD, OnlyFans, and entrepreneurship in a taboo space. If you've ever wondered what it actually takes to build something sustainable in the sexual wellness world—this one's for you.We get into:How to actually niche down without losing your voice or creativityWhy your “little business” deserves as much celebration as a wedding or babyHow to recover when your audience isn't aligned (and why starting fresh matters)The role of risk-taking in entrepreneurship (and how it shows up in the bedroom)Launching an OnlyFans Why being passionate about your work matters more than the moneySex-positive branding, burnout, and building your dream audienceThe cost of being underestimated as a woman in businessChoosing to celebrate yourself in your own wayCraving more intimacy—even in a city full of peopleWhy we have to break away from traditional life milestones💌 Want more? Join my Patreon for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes stories from my dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends list on Instagram.Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-june

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Allie Hoffman, founder of Catch The Feels—a viral in-person dating experience helping people ditch dating apps and reconnect with their bodies, emotions, and intuition.We dive deep into Allie’s groundbreaking “four systems of knowing” and how we can use the body, emotions, thoughts, and inner truth to date with more clarity and self-trust. Allie opens up about falling for poly men while being deeply monogamous, breaking her pattern of choosing emotionally unavailable partners, and how her body often speaks louder than her mind when it comes to sex and relationships.We also discuss:How to spot the difference between ego and intuitionWhy we keep falling for unavailable people (and how to stop)Her practice of using orgasmic energy for sex magicThe truth about dating apps and why they’re keeping us stuckHow to “own your erotic map” and be okay with your identity—whether you’re queer, kinky, monogamous or none of the aboveHow The Feels was born and what really happens at her IRL dating eventsWhy being open to love is the bravest thing you can doSex, breakups, and learning to hear your body say “no”How to break your patterns and stop ignoring red flags just because the sex is good💌 Want more? Join my Patreon for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes stories from my dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends list on Instagram.

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined once again by photographer, ethical slut, and emotionally available king Matthew Kayman for a raw and wildly entertaining deep dive into threesomes, pegging, vasectomies, and how men can do better in sex and relationships.We go deep about what it means to unlearn toxic masculinity and embrace a more present, consensual, and pleasure-focused approach to sex. Matt opens up about getting pegged for the first time, navigating group sex with intention, and why he chose to get a vasectomy—and how it’s impacted his confidence and partnerships.We also unpack:Why pegging changed how he shows up as a top and partnerTips for navigating MFM threesomes with care and curiosityHow to explore dominant and submissive roles without egoThe mental and physical realities of getting a vasectomy (and why you should get one!)How to communicate during casual sex without killing the vibeManaging a sex-positive roster (with check-ins!)The difference between protective and possessive behaviorFriendship with exes, emotional responsibility, and being a grown-ass slut🎁 BONUS SCENE: Stick around for a surprise scene with Mario Cruz, recorded onboard the spicy Desire Cruise, where we talk about spooning, swinging, and everything in between.💌 Want more? Join my Patreon for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes stories from my dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends list on Instagram.