In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Gabriella Scaringe, founder of Cherri, to explore sexuality and vulvas in the real world — pubic hair trends, labia diversity, harmful language we’ve internalized, and how better design (hello, wide-gusset underwear and swim) can change how we feel in our bodies. We get specific about what actually shows up in everyday life (the “bulge,” the “lip slip”), why that’s normal, and how to shop for pieces that fit and feel good.What we cover:Pubic hair culture now vs. then: why the bush is back, personal preferences (including during oral), and how “cleanliness” isn’t about being hairless.Language that harms: the “pastrami vulva” era, innie/outie shame, and how those jokes warp body image.Vulva diversity 101: long inner labia are common; symmetry isn’t the standard; vulvas are supposed to be visible sometimes under clothes.The “bulge” discourse: when someone called out a “bulge” in a swimsuit pic and Gabriella’s clap-back — it was her vulva. Why visibility ≠ indecency.What “lip slip” really means and how design solves for it (without erasing your shape).Gusset realities: the industry’s average ~2.5" gusset vs. Cherri’s wider cuts (e.g., a 4" gusset on an XS G-string) and why width, placement, and size-inclusive fit matter.Behind the brand: insights from Cherri’s 5,000+-person survey of vulva owners, fit testing across sizes, and why styles take time to release.Hygiene myths we’re done with: hair does not equal dirty; vulvas have scent; how to care without over-stripping your skin.Body neutrality vs. “love your body”: moving from harm to comfort first, confidence as a practice, and giving yourself permission to pick what feels good.Shopping smarter: what to look for in undies and swim (gusset width, rise, fabric, coverage options) and letting comfort lead.Our own stories: growing up through the era of hairless ideals, changing tastes, and why embracing “real” bodies feels so freeing.🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 60% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2532-alexa 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back with another deep dive into the world of dating, this time with award-winning sex educator and ghostwriter Connie Collins (@thefirstdatediaries). We explore the state of relationships today and reveal what keeps people stuck in situationships and unhappy. It’s often not about your dating profile or messaging speed, but deeper issues like fear of vulnerability and emotional shutdowns.We cover:- Understanding sexuality and how to discover what you truly want in relationships.- Recognizing emotional availability and its impact on your dating experience.- The loneliness of pretending you're okay with casual dating when you’re not- The pressure to be chill, cool and detached and why that hurts us more than it helps- The concept of “pussy economics” and why your access is valuable- Real red flags we ignore and green flags we mistake for red flags.👉 Want more? Join my Patreon for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes takes on my personal dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram. Go to patreon.com/sexwithalexa to get in.

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back in bed for another season and she’s kicking things off with adult film icon Small Hands (Aaron Thompson). From monogamy and marriage to aftercare and emotional intimacy on set, Aaron shares what it's really like to live a life of performance — and what happens when the cameras stop rolling. We get deep on female pleasure, working with Owen Gray, porn myths, and how to separate real connection from performative sex. If you’ve ever wondered what love looks like when sex is your job, this one’s for you.In this episode, we talk about:how porn shaped Aaron’s real-life relationshipswhat it's like to be monogamous while working in the adult industrythe emotional aftermath of performing sex on camerawhether it's really possible to have sex without catching feelingshow to separate intimacy from performanceAaron’s recent divorce and what it taught himhis take on aftercare and why it's necessary in pornhow he advocates for female pleasure in a male-driven industrywhat it's like working with Owen Gray and the hype around himhis thoughts on what sex acts are overrated vs underratedwhat porn gets right and wrong about real desire🎧 Love the pod? Support me on Patreon! You’ll get unedited episodes, bonus stories from my dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram: patreon.com/sexwithalexaThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-july 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Beth Sparksfire — the Queen of Hacienda, New York’s legendary sex-positive community and party scene.Together, we dive deep into how to be a thoughtful, respectful, and unforgettable sex party guest. Whether you’re a first-timer or looking to level up, Beth shares the real dos and don'ts from her years curating erotic experiences.We cover:What to know before attending your first sex partyHow to navigate consent, conversation, and energyWhy curiosity is sexy, but entitlement isn'tWhat not to do when you're naked in publicThe importance of aftercare — even at play partiesCreating safer, queerer, more intentional spacesHow Hacienda became the gold standard for sex-positive events✨ As always, the unedited version of this episode — plus more about my personal dating life, spicy stories, and access to my Close Friends on IG — is on Patreon!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Birna Gustafsson, sex educator with a master's in public health and host of Explicit Studies, to talk about the sea of sexual misinformation we’re constantly swimming in—and how to get better at spotting it.Together, they bust myths that still circulate widely online (even in sex-positive spaces) and explore how shame, purity culture, and bad science shape our sexual health beliefs.Expect to learn:The actual failure rate of pulling out and why it’s riskier than you thinkWhy douching is unnecessary—and can be harmfulWhether you can get pregnant on your period (hint: you can)The truth about HPV, oral sex, and throat cancerWhy orgasms aren’t the only marker of “good sex”The dangers of black-and-white sex advice on social mediaHow kids are absorbing harmful beliefs from TikTok, porn & uninformed adultsWhy pegging can turn men into better lovers 👀Why we must improve sex ed for healthcare professionalsHow to know if your sex advice source is trustworthyBirna also shares how she's helping train nurses and midwives to better support patients with inclusive, evidence-based sex education. Plus: her favorite sex ed resources, books, and where to go if you're ready to learn the truth.✨ Want more? Unedited episodes, Alexa's personal dating stories, and her IG Close Friends are all on Patreon: patreon.com/sexwithalexaThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-july 

In this very juicy and educational episode, sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Jamie Joy, a queer, trans certified sex educator and full-blown fisting aficionado. We dive deep (literally and figuratively) into the world of fisting, from how to prep and practice it safely to the surprising aftercare and emotional intensity it can carry.We also discuss:How to prep for fisting (from hygiene to headspace)Differences between vaginal and anal fistingSafety tips, including glove use, nails, and douchingWhy fisting is more emotional and intimate than you’d thinkWhat to do if you're curious about trying itDebunking myths about poop, pain, and gay panicThe role of breath, communication, and pleasure in anal playThe stigma around anal play—especially for straight menJamie's favorite techniques and their own mold of their fist (yes, really!)You can check out more of Jamie's work here!🌈 New to the pod? Subscribe, rate & leave us a review. And if you want unedited episodes + a peek into my personal dating and sex life, join us on Patreon. You’ll also get added to my IG Close Friends list 💌Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-june

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Thea Rose, host of Seggs Talk Radio and founder of a new STI testing startup, to talk about what it really takes to build a sex-positive business—from scratch, with heart, and without losing your mind.Thea opens up about her messy, honest path as a multi-hyphenate creator, how she juggles podcasting, launching companies, and staying grounded through burnout, ADHD, OnlyFans, and entrepreneurship in a taboo space. If you've ever wondered what it actually takes to build something sustainable in the sexual wellness world—this one's for you.We get into:How to actually niche down without losing your voice or creativityWhy your “little business” deserves as much celebration as a wedding or babyHow to recover when your audience isn't aligned (and why starting fresh matters)The role of risk-taking in entrepreneurship (and how it shows up in the bedroom)Launching an OnlyFans Why being passionate about your work matters more than the moneySex-positive branding, burnout, and building your dream audienceThe cost of being underestimated as a woman in businessChoosing to celebrate yourself in your own wayCraving more intimacy—even in a city full of peopleWhy we have to break away from traditional life milestones💌 Want more? Join my Patreon for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes stories from my dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends list on Instagram.Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-june

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Allie Hoffman, founder of Catch The Feels—a viral in-person dating experience helping people ditch dating apps and reconnect with their bodies, emotions, and intuition.We dive deep into Allie’s groundbreaking “four systems of knowing” and how we can use the body, emotions, thoughts, and inner truth to date with more clarity and self-trust. Allie opens up about falling for poly men while being deeply monogamous, breaking her pattern of choosing emotionally unavailable partners, and how her body often speaks louder than her mind when it comes to sex and relationships.We also discuss:How to spot the difference between ego and intuitionWhy we keep falling for unavailable people (and how to stop)Her practice of using orgasmic energy for sex magicThe truth about dating apps and why they’re keeping us stuckHow to “own your erotic map” and be okay with your identity—whether you’re queer, kinky, monogamous or none of the aboveHow The Feels was born and what really happens at her IRL dating eventsWhy being open to love is the bravest thing you can doSex, breakups, and learning to hear your body say “no”How to break your patterns and stop ignoring red flags just because the sex is good💌 Want more? Join my Patreon for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes stories from my dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends list on Instagram.

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined once again by photographer, ethical slut, and emotionally available king Matthew Kayman for a raw and wildly entertaining deep dive into threesomes, pegging, vasectomies, and how men can do better in sex and relationships.We go deep about what it means to unlearn toxic masculinity and embrace a more present, consensual, and pleasure-focused approach to sex. Matt opens up about getting pegged for the first time, navigating group sex with intention, and why he chose to get a vasectomy—and how it’s impacted his confidence and partnerships.We also unpack:Why pegging changed how he shows up as a top and partnerTips for navigating MFM threesomes with care and curiosityHow to explore dominant and submissive roles without egoThe mental and physical realities of getting a vasectomy (and why you should get one!)How to communicate during casual sex without killing the vibeManaging a sex-positive roster (with check-ins!)The difference between protective and possessive behaviorFriendship with exes, emotional responsibility, and being a grown-ass slut🎁 BONUS SCENE: Stick around for a surprise scene with Mario Cruz, recorded onboard the spicy Desire Cruise, where we talk about spooning, swinging, and everything in between.💌 Want more? Join my Patreon for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes stories from my dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends list on Instagram.

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with NYC-based photographer, ethical slut, and reformed cheater Matthew Kayman for an honest, reflective, and hilarious conversation about evolving from messy dating patterns to intentional, kink-informed, and transparent relationships.We unpack his shift from monogamy to polyamory, navigating play parties, unlearning toxic masculinity, and figuring out how to explore power dynamics while remaining ethical and emotionally available.✨ In this episode, we talk about:How Matthew realized he wasn’t dating ethically—and what changed thatHis transition into ethical non-monogamy and what it taught him about himselfTips for flirting, FaceTime pre-dates, and dating apps that don’t suckPower dynamics in dating, and how kink helped him explore both dom & sub rolesGroup sex, queer curiosity, and learning how to communicate mid-orgySlutty shame, hot guy privilege, and navigating softness in hookup cultureWhy it’s not just about consent, but context and careLessons from play parties, switching, and setting expectations with new partnersThis is an episode about dating better—not perfectly, but with curiosity, compassion, and accountability.💌 Want more? On Patreon, you’ll get the unedited version of this episode, behind-the-scenes tea on my dating and sex life, and access to my Close Friends list on Instagram.Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 60% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-may 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by sex educator, performer, and self-proclaimed “dildo slinger” Dirty Lola (@dirtylola) for a raw and hilarious conversation about shame, sex, and self-acceptance.From growing up in a naked household to navigating deep religious trauma, Lola shares the journey of becoming a fearless advocate for shameless pleasure and body confidence. We get into:Her early sex-positive explorations and yes—high school sex parties!The complex layers of body image, fatphobia, and family shameHow shame shows up in our sex lives and what to do about itWhy orgasms don’t equal worth, and how to stop performative sexWhat she’s learned about micropenises, penis shame, and making pleasure work for everyoneHow to start loving your body—even before it’s your “goal body”Tips on letting go of external validation and dressing for YOUAging, menopause, and staying slutty at every stage of lifeHow to be a better partner by showing up with kindness and complimentsThis episode is brought to you by Splash Blanket - the world’s most luxurious waterproof blanket.  Feel more free and liberated in the bedroom with code ALEXA😏 Want to hear more behind the scenes? On Patreon, you’ll find the unedited version of this episode, stories from my personal dating life, and access to my Close Friends list on Instagram

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by Catherine Drysdale—sex & relationship coach—who’s on a mission to help women and femmes unlearn the “good girl” scripts that keep them small, quiet, and out of touch with their desires.We talk about:• What “good girl conditioning” really means and how it shows up in our lives• The difference between Good Girl Conditioning and being a "good girl" in a power dynamic• The pressure to be nice, palatable, and liked (and how that impacts our relationships and sex lives)• Why so many of us have trouble asking for what we want—especially in bed• The link between patriarchy and the fear of being “too much”• How to begin reclaiming your voice, your wants, and your power• Ways to get comfortable with discomfort, especially when it comes to setting boundaries• Rewriting your relationship with shame, worthiness, and sexual expressionThis is a permission slip to take up space and live more fully, more loudly, and more authentically.✨ At the end of the episode, we also chat about how this work spills into dating, communication, and how to support other women on the same journey.🎧 Plus! Don’t forget to check out my Patreon where I share the unedited version of this episode, updates on my dating and sex life, and give members access to my Close Friends on Instagram.Thank you, Beducated, for sponsoring this episode and making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 60% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-may 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is back onboard the Temptation Cruise!In this episode, Alexa reconnects with Mario Cruz, Cruise Director for Temptation Cruises, to dive even deeper into what makes a lifestyle-friendly cruise such a unique, exciting, and welcoming experience.Recorded live from the February 2025 sailing, we chat about:How Temptation Cruises create a safe, respectful, and fun environment for all guestsTips for first-timers: how to navigate nerves, set boundaries, and make connectionsDebunking common myths about swinger and lifestyle cruisesThemed nights, play areas, workshops, and how to make the most of the onboard eventsHow privacy and discretion are prioritized for every guestHow these cruises can open doors to self-discovery and new adventuresThe difference between Temptation and Desire Cruises (and which might be a better fit for you!)Funny, surprising behind-the-scenes stories from working onboard✨ PLUS: Alexa and Mario invite YOU to join the next Temptation Cruise this November 2025! Whether you're new to the lifestyle or just looking for a sexy, judgment-free vacation, this could be your next adventure.🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Alex Fine, educator, activist, parent and founder of the pleasure-forward brand Dame, to talk about how to find the sex toy that actually works for you—and how to confidently use it, whether you're flying solo or playing with a partner.Alex shares how Dame is redefining pleasure with intentional, inclusive design, and we get into how to move past shame, communicate your needs, and create sexy experiences that center your pleasure.Whether you’re new to toys or looking to level up, we’ve got guidance on how to explore in ways that feel exciting, not overwhelming.✨ In this episode, we cover:How to choose a toy based on your anatomy and what you likeTips for using toys with a partner without making it weird or performativeHow to bring up toys with a partner if they’re nervous or skepticalThe difference between clitoral, vaginal, anal, and blended stimulation—and toys for eachHow to care for your toys so they last (and stay safe to use)Debunking myths like “you’ll get addicted to your vibrator”How Dame is shaking up the industry with body-safe, beautifully designed productsThe role of design in enhancing your pleasure and creating easeMasturbation as a form of self-connection and stress reliefWhy you don’t have to “fix” anything—pleasure isn’t a performanceSuing the MTA so they could advertise on the subwayThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/alexa-april 🎧 Unedited episodes, my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends list on Instagram? It’s all on Patreon

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with bisexual writer, sex expert, and chaos king Zachary Zane for a juicy episode all about how to suck dick like a pro. Whether you’re a total beginner, looking to level up your skills, or just love talking about pleasure—we’ve got you covered.Zach shares his most helpful tips, wildest stories, and hard-earned wisdom from both personal and professional experience. We talk technique, confidence, communication, and why good oral isn’t just about what your mouth is doing—but also how present, excited, and connected you are.In this episode, we discuss:How to make oral feel incredible with your mouth and your whole bodyDeepthroating 101: tips, angles, breathing, and how to stay in controlWhat makes a blowjob feel intimate (even when it’s casual)How to avoid jaw fatigue and still make it look/feel amazingCommon mistakes people make when giving oral to penis-haversThe power of eye contact, vocal feedback, and enthusiasmCommunication tips—how to ask for direction without killing the moodThe difference between porn blowjobs and what people actually wantWhat to do if you're nervous, insecure, or don’t love giving oral (yet)How Zachary’s bisexuality influences his approach to pleasureThe importance of mutual pleasure and making oral a two-way experienceThis episode is informative, hot, and actually helpful—no shame, no judgment, just real talk about how to become a more generous, confident, and attuned lover.Thank you Fantasia for being a sponsor on today's episode. Check out fantasiatoy.online to see what your fantasy feels like!✨ Unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes of my dating & sex life, and access to my close friends list on Instagram available on Patreon