Jay & Miles X-Plain the X-Men

In which we begin at the beginning: everything clicks with #3, Professor Xavier is a jerk, Magneto is a fearless fashionista, Cyclops gets a name, Jean Grey has a chronic case of the Silver Age, and allegorical diversity is not enough. X-Plained: Mutant genetics and taxonomy Practical semantics of "X-Men" Charles Xavier's equally dubious ethics and decorating choices Superhero couture of the Atomic Age Why Cyclops can't control his powers The miracle of comic-book magnetism A problematic analogy X-books for beginners Snow grenades The word "yaybo" The mystery of the ubiquitous plaid suit You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

In which we introduce the villains of the Silver Age: Magneto makes some valid points, Mastermind is a Nice Guy of OkCupid, the Scarlet Witch predicts Cat Breading, the Trasks should really have known better, and the Comics Code Authority is down with pterosaurs. X-Plained: Common characteristics of enduring X-villains Mutant identity politics and moral relativism Context-agnostic Juggernaut flashbacks An unorthodox approach to anthropology Cyclops's greatest diplomatic achievement Silver-Age haberdashery An innovative modification to vampire mythology Cultural assimilation The propaganda-and-sweater-vest machine Hex bolts Supplemental reading You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

Featuring Emergency Backup Co-Host Chris Sims! In which Rachel and Chris X-plain three cartoons and track a disagreement to its source; Gambit is definitely the worst person you know; Broadcasting Standards and Practices is tired of your death ceremonies; Storm doesn't have an inside voice; and we finally get around to mentioning that one dude with the claws. X-Plained: Weaponized creepiness The evolution (and Evolution) of X-Toons Why you hate Cyclops (and Rachel doesn't) Adaptation overload Broadcast standards, practices, and laser rifles How to order pizza like a weather goddess A paramilitary after-school club G-Rated Wolverine Comics based on cartoons based on comics Morph The Batman Standard The Wolverine and the X-Men trifecta of perfection Why the Mojoverse works better on TV Dazzler's secret second job Basic jacketry CORRECTION: In this episode, Rachel mentions that Morph's first comics appearance is in Exiles. It's not: he's in Age of Apocalypse. Mea culpa. You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

In which Rachel finally gets to say "WHAT?!," we examine three variations on the Silver Age, Twin Peaks is reality TV, we can't believe you hired Hitler, Angel is not Batman, even the most sympathetic Xavier is still pretty creepy, Cyclops has a good day, Marvel Girl is not going to throw a dinosaur for you, Iceman is the Troy Barnes of the X-Men, and we say a fond farewell to the Silver Age. X-Plained: The X-Axis X-Men: Children of the Atom Hard-sell noir How to party like it's sometime between 1986 and 1991, as filtered through 1999 The perils of over-referencing Why Marvel is in the Tommy Westphall Universe The worst guidance counselor ever Villain speeches X-Men: First Class (but not that one) Fun, and several places to find it Angst-free X-Men Gender politics of superheroism X-Men: Season One Teenagers The solution to the Silver-Age-Jean Grey problem Why Iceman matters The Silver Age cram book You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

In which the Bronze Age begins; Dave Cockrum is your god now; the band gets together; Sunfire joins the team; cultural sensitivity is not Marvel's strong suit; Sunfire quits the team; it sucks to be Cyclops; Professor X crosses a moral event horizon; Sunfire joins the team; Ed Brubaker channels Thomas Hardy; you are probably a Summers brother; and Sunfire quits the team. X-Plained: Bamf-Voltron Nightcrawler Giant-Size X-Men #1 The worst hat of the Marvel Universe The Mostly-New, Mostly-Different X-Men A business-casual angry mob The limits of creative good intentions Tractor punching on the Ust-Ordynski Collective The correct spelling of "fine" Canada Sunfire's utter disdain for everything, including you Krakoa: The Island That Walks Like a Man! Characteristics of good X-fights Yet another miracle of magnetism X-Men: Deadly Genesis Summers Family Continuity (Introductory) More hats The Muir-MacTaggert Research Facility Summers Family Continuity (Intermediate) The Charles Xavier Scale of Supervillainy Relative immunity Wolverine's ubiquity AUDIENCE PARTICIPATION: What would you do with thirteen X-Men? Help us find all-ages-friendly Marvel Girl stories! You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

In which we more or less prepare you for the upcoming feature film; Rachel Summers is a black hole of continuity; Kitty Pryde breaks the Danger Room; Earth 200500 is clearly the best earth; even the X-Men have no idea what's going on; First Class Emma Frost is so boring that we forget she exists; wolverines are definitely not wolves; and you can have Rachel's Community references when you pry them from her cold, dead hands. X-Plained: Rachel Summers "Days of Future Past" Gravestone engraving standards of 2013 The Mostly-New, Mostly-Different Brotherhood of Evil Mutants Another unfortunate hat Causality in the Marvel Multiverse Earths 811, 1191, 295, 311, and 200500 Hall monitors with laser rifles How to fix a broken timeline The X-Men cinematic universe, and points of divergence from the comics The one thing X-Men: The Last Stand does right The Xavier Index of Cinematic Continuity The difference between Canis lupus and Gulo gulo A Days of Future Past cinematic cram course Fix-it fic Blink, Bishop, and dark-future mash-ups The enduring appeal of Earth-811 The significantly less enduring appeal of Earth-242 The Nazi Excalibur of Earth-597 You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Next week: Greg Rucka, Cyclops, and Starjammers!

With guest Greg Rucka! In which death is a revolving door, we really liked Days of Future Past, space pirates are the best pirates, Vulcan is (still) the worst, Miles has a Corsair costume, Lilandra has lovely plumage, no one knows how to pronounce "M'Kraan," we studiously avoid discussing the Phoenix force, Saurids speak Hebrew, Raza Longknife's name is a bit on the nose, Rachel is the worst at hugs, Greg has a 'ship, and we all kind of identify with Cyclops. X-Plained: The Starjammers (and how to pronounce their names) The Shi'ar The Neremani Dynasty Plumage Apostrophe abuse Corsair The secret origins of the Starjammers Why Hepzibah talks like that The Rule of Cool Visor iterations Summerstaches Cyclops's dubious deductive skills Hugs The All-New, All-the-Same X-Men Teenagers, again Cyclops #1 Cyclops vs. Scott Space-parenting Rachel's convention sketchbook Greg's Kitty Pryde feelings An exceptionally vivid threat Intergalactic fashion Corsair's pecs Key parties in space The greatest romance of the Marvel Universe You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Next week: Welcome to the Claremont era, listeners—hope you survive the experience!

In which Chris Claremont defines the X-Universe; Sunfire quits the team (again); Nightcrawler is the best; the narrator is nobody's friend; Colossus is a good kid; Cyclops has a long series of bad days; everyone is a bondage Viking; Rachel is a space pedant, we meet the Phoenix, and Wolverine is the Batman of Marvel. X-Plained: Polaris's kinda-powers Our first crossover event How much we love you Chris Claremont, and why he's the definitive X-writer Comics In Focus: Chris Claremont's X-Men Why Nightcrawler is the best point-of-view character The long game Tom Orzechowski's dimension-folding lettering skills Claremontisms The malicious narrator Count Nefaria Sliding-scale ransom The life, death, and occasional reanimation of Thunderbird Friendship The care and feeding of cairns Erik the Red Quiet moments Sentinels and X-Sentinels Steven Lang The (first) death and return of Jean Grey Accents You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Next week: Leprechauns!

In which Rachel refuses to back down from a challenge, we reject a point of canon, Leprechauns know Wolverine's secrets, Erik the Red is (still) awful, Professor X is (still) a dick, the X-Men are your D&D party, the Shi'ar do a Star Trek riff, Phoenix is kind of a big deal, the circus comes to town, and Magneto gets creepy. X-Plained: Cassandra Nova More early Claremont Sound effects Cassidy Keep Seneschals Shillelaghs Image inducers Black Tom Cassidy Supervillain bromance Bronze-age pacing Leprechauns Hovercraft rental Muir Island The Shi'ar Imperial Guard The M'Kraan Cyrstal Phoenix 101 Secret volcano lairs Magneto's mercifully short-lived age-play fixation The (dis)continuity of mutant powers You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Next week: Wolverine punches a pterosaur, Cyclops grows a mustache, and everyone gets possessed!

In which Phoenix has nothing on Jamie Madrox when it comes to retcons, Pterosaurs have super punchable faces, Colossus gets laid, we are uninterested in the Savage Land, Wolverine and Storm are both pretty interesting, smiling costs extra if you're Doctor Doom, Banshee saves the day, Alpha Flight tries, Angry Hovercraft Guy comes back, and Proteus is fairly upsetting. X-Plained: X-Men #109, 114-16, 118-122, and 125-128 Multiple Man Metacontinuity The Savage Land Pterosaurs Shi'ar mustache technology Karl Lykos Misty Knight Colleen Wing Wolverine in Japan Mandroids Moses Magnum A Heist Angus McWhirter, disgruntled hovercraft rental guy Alpha Flight Team Dynamics Why you always leave a note Proteus You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Next week: Secret origins, shipper wars, the Siege Perilous, and which of us would win in a fight.

In which we answer 45 straight minutes of your questions and alienate everyone with our answer to Jean vs. Emma, Miles is probably too nice to win in a fight, we are really into The Adventures of Pete & Pete, Rachel is the Vega to Miles's Shepard, Excalibur is awesome, you should stop punching the DNA, Wolverine is Rogue, Longshot is the prettiest man, and Professor X is a pufferfish. X-Plained: Who would win in a fight The Rachel & Miles Fastball Special Cycloptometry Backissues, collections, and where to find them Podcaster 'shipping Spinoffs Rachel Summers (more) (again) Five tattoos Non-X stuff we're into X-Force versus the Comics Code Authority Ultimate X-Men How to keep track of crossovers Textual queerness The Siege Perilous Jean vs. Emma Some good Nightcrawler and Iceman stories Dream teams The Glammest Timeline Best and worst code names Bendis's X-books X-animals You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Next week: The Dark Phoenix Saga

In which we wade into the first arc of the Dark Phoenix Saga, Rachel does not like Sage, the Hellfire Club are the mean girls of the Marvel Universe, Cyclops and Phoenix have a Moment, Mastermind ruins everything, Emma Frost is a force to be reckoned with, Wolverine gets awesome, and we meet the Dark Phoenix. X-Plained: Sage The Hellfire Club The Inner Circle Jason Wyngarde (again) Sebastian Shaw Harry Leland Emma Frost Donald Pierce Hegemony and social politics of the Hellfire Club 18th Century bondage cosplay Kitty Pryde The worst disco ever Alison Blaire Tiny shorts How to make Wolverine work Sexual politics of the Dark Phoenix Why Magneto's powers are broken post-AvX The P.E.N.I.S. five You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Next week: Showdown on the Moon

In which Jean commits genocide, the Shi'ar are total dicks (again), we have feelings about X-Men #137, Claremont and Byrne do what they do best, shit gets real on the moon, Kitty joins the team, and the Dark Phoenix Saga concludes.   X-Plained: Inhumans The Kree The Terrigen Mist Teamwork The Dark Phoenix Cameos with cosmic implications The Phoenix event horizon Establishing scale Psychic battles The winged never-nudes of the Marvel Universe Danger-room exposition The Shi'ar's really dubious justice system Why X-Men #137 is the definitive issue of X-Men Pacing The power of friendship Quiet moments The blue area of the moon The best last stand Moon vandalism The Phoenix Retcon You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

In which Canada is complicated, the X-Perts join Twitter, Rachel cares about a Wolverine story, Angel had one job, Kitty Pryde is pretty cool, Cyclops gets a hat, neither of us knows how to pronounce "Aleytys," Doctor Doom is a terrible date, and the X-Men have an awful lot of signature moves. X-Plained: Department H Department K Director X The Weapon Plus Program Weapon P.R.I.M.E. Weapons I-XVI The Death-Defying Doctor Mirage The new normal Stevie Hunter The Wendigo Berserker rage Yard work Wolverines Angel's one move The N'Garai (again) Lee Forrester D'Spayre Magic-Feather villains Man-Thing Doctor Doom Arcade Why it sucks to be Havok The X-Perts' relative areas of X-pertise Cyclops vs. Storm Signature moves CORRECTIONS: Lee's dad's house is in Florida, not Louisiana; Doctor Doom is not in Europe but in New England, where has taken over Toad's theme park, because that was definitely a thing. If you're looking for our coverage of X-Men 141 and 142—"Days of Future Past"—you can find that in Episode 6, "Days of Future Whatever." You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher!

In which we announce exciting new developments, the ASPCA should probably have a word with Emma Frost, Kitty Pryde gets a new costume, Lee Forrester is still the best, Cyclops has an octopus on his chest, Magneto has a change of heart, and Wolverine embraces transhumanism. X-Plained: The Thomas Hardy novel of superhero comics Friendship X-Men #148-152 Unstable Denim Disco Dinner Clubs Caliban (a little) Kitty Pryde's amazing fashion sense Garokk the Unremarkable Atlantean couture Why Magneto is Interesting The Massachusetts Academy The Persona Exchange Gun Harvey and Janet How to win $2500 in 1980 Editorial Outsourcing You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Support us on Patreon!

In which we correct a startling omission, explore the current state of the X-Universe, and speculate wildly; Quentin Quire has excellent fashion sense; Rachel gets a new accessory; Miles goes off-brand; the X-Men are somewhat complicated; Iron Man has poor decision-making skills; Charles Xavier dies for real; Beast might be a supervillain; we briefly forget Marc Guggenheim's first name; and the future remains a relative mystery. For purposes of continuity, it's probably worth noting that this episode was recorded before the SDCC Marvel panel. X-Plained: Quentin Quire Patreon A startling omission from the official SDCC lineup The current state of the X-Men Decimation Dark Reign Utopia Schism Avengers vs. X-Men Mutant politics Hope Summers The Phoenix/P.E.N.I.S. five (again) The (real) (this time) (we think) death of Charles Xavier Teenager hijinks Crossover events Battle of the Atom Semantics of supervillainy How Wolverine is 100% definitely going to die Jumping-on points Current X-books Jubilee You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Support us on Patreon!

In which we make our Comics Alliance debut, Cyclops makes a startling discovery, Carol Danvers joins the team (sort of), Chris Claremont calls out some bullshit, Havok still has terrible taste in hats, and Peter Corbeau gets his own theme music Content note: In this episode, we spend a lot of time talking about a rape that occurs in a previous Avengers arc, the community and narrative response thereto, and the larger landscape and ethics of portrayals of sexual violence in superhero comics. X-Plained Mystique's mercurial alliances Rachel and Miles X-Plain the X-Men Uncanny X-Men #154-158 Avengers Annual #10 Bollywood Starjammers The dread Psi-Scream Shi'ar Fashion Technology Dr. Peter Corbeau (more) (again) Rogue Carol Danvers The Whole Marcus Thing Chris Claremont vs. rape culture Computers Gender politics of the Dark Phoenix Saga Next week: Dracula! Clarification, since we neglected to specify in the episode: Avengers #200 was written by James Shooter, George Pérez, Bob Layton, and David Michelinie; Avengers Annual #10 was written by Chris Claremont. You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Support us on Patreon!

In which Dr. Nemesis is delightful, Bill Sienkiewicz foreshadows himself, Dracula hits on absolutely everyone, Blade Godwins a crossover event, Jubilee get a jet ski, the X-Men do Castlevania 2, Rachel and Miles pick a vacation destination, and Cyclops wants you to follow your heart. X-Plained: Dr. Nemesis A very good page of a very good comic Dracula variations X-Men #159 Appropriate use of holy symbols "The D" Tomb of Dracula Bloodstorm Carrotstorm Curse of the Mutants Jubilee Crossover events Why we can't have nice things Some really sweet weaponry The Dracula Reassembly Machine Phone sex with Gambit The point of being Lord of the Vampires X-Club Authorial voice in comics Why there probably won't be a Starjammers movie Next Episode: Rachel and Miles go to Hell (kind of)! You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Support us on Patreon!

In which we continue our delve into the eldritch end of the X-Universe, Illyana Rasputin has a rough childhood even by X-Men standards, Kitty Pryde is a Niven fan, Limbo is way metal, Vincent Price is our Belasco, and Rachel and Miles have feelings about female friendships in Claremont's X-Men. X-Plained: Mikhail Rasputin Hell dimensions, including but not limited to The Void The Dark Zone The Hill Limbo The other Limbo Yet a third Limbo Reincarnation Illyana Rasputin Magic vs. Magik Uncanny X-Men #160 Octopusheim Stepping Disks Otherplace Belasco Emergo S'ym Storm and Illyana: Magik #1-4 Bloodstones Yet another set of alternate X-Men Friendship The Soulsword Podcasting You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Support us on Patreon!   Next week: In space, no one can hear you snikt.

In which Claremont levels up; the Brood are legitimately scary; Colossus is an ethical dude; Nightcrawler and Wolverine share beers in the face of certain death; Storm turns into a space whale; we are Carol Corps for life; New Mutants are really into Magnum, P.I.; Kitty meets a dragon; and Xavier dies (again). X-Plained: Broo The Brood Saga (X-Men #161-167) Paul Smith Space fashion A really terrible awards ceremony Tim O'Brien's X-Men The Brood How to tell a good Wolverine story Rocket sharks The single most badass magical-girl transformation sequence of all time Binary The X-Men's Kobayashi Maru Friendship (more) (again) The Acanti Whether Cyclops watches Star Trek The New Mutants Cloning Our secret cold-open formula Cosmic crossovers Next Week: Kurt Busiek! We would have words with thee! You can find a visual companion to the episode – and links to recommended reading – on our blog. Find us on iTunes or Stitcher! Support us on Patreon!