Summary What if the "practical" parenting strategies you're searching for require something deeper first - the liberation of your own mind? In this episode, Janet and Doug explore the third instrument of formation: LIFE - the intentional pursuit and savoring of ideas that are good, true, and beautiful. Drawing on research about manufactured mental captivity and personal stories about breaking generational cycles, they reveal why parents can't create relational safety for their children while their own minds remain captured by anxiety-producing information systems. This isn't about adding more to your overwhelmed schedule - it's about recognizing that ideas are already forming you, and learning to choose which ones and toward what end. Janet and Doug discuss: The Operating System You Didn't Choose We inherit operating systems from our family of origin - either developing trust relationships in grace environments, or adapting through pseudo-connection to meet unmet needs Both love and sin are processes of meeting needs - the difference is the source Our bodies create efficient neural pathways to whatever meets our needs, whether healthy or unhealthy As children, we can't do what we've never seen The Effort of Decision Once you've agreed with God that truth sets you free (John 8:32), you stop wasting energy choosing between old coping strategies and new life When you live through struggle with the integrity of being connected to God and your true self, you want MORE of that joy Experiencing freedom improves your vision - mental decluttering becomes celebration rather than chore Convictions made in advance make daily choices easier (example: choosing reading season over streaming) Manufactured Mental Captivity Research shows psychological knowledge is being weaponized to keep minds "enslaved to consuming, conflict and outrage" This manufactured mental chaos pushes people into survival mode (threat detection) and striving mode (performance anxiety) Parents can't create relational safety for children while their own minds are captured Mental illness often emerges when pain and performance goals collide The Three Questions Framework What am I absorbing without choosing it? (information diet, social media, news cycles) What am I intentionally seeking? (difference between consuming content and savoring ideas) What am I savoring that puts gas in my tank? (beauty, goodness, truth as fuel not luxury) This Week's Experiments: Mental Diet Audit Track for 3 days what ideas you're absorbing Notice how your body feels after different inputs Create awareness, not shame One Intentional Choice Pick one good/true/beautiful thing to seek daily Could be: one poem, one chapter, one worship song, time in nature Focus on intentionality, not perfection Notice the Difference Pay attention to your nervous system throughout the day Do you feel more grounded or more anxious? How does it affect your capacity for your family? Remember: The instrument of LIFE isn't about adding more to your overwhelmed schedule - it's about recognizing that ideas are already forming you. The question is: which ideas, and toward what end? Resources Mentioned in This Episode Previous Podcast Episodes: Why Integrity Matters With Scott Morrison How Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life Shape Your Family Story Why Your Home's Atmosphere Shapes Your Child's Soul Discipline Is Not What You Think: How Real Formation Replaces Control Key Principle Mentioned: "If it's not beautiful, we don't do it" - a family conviction that shapes daily choices Want to break generational cycles and build mental freedom in your family? Start with these three experiments this week and share your discoveries with us.
What if the key to spiritual growth isn’t trying harder—but learning how to feel safe, seen, and loved? In this episode, Doug and Janet sit down with psychologist and author Dr. Todd Hall for a powerful conversation about attachment, transformation, and the kind of love that reshapes your life. Together, they explore how our early relational patterns affect not just our parenting and marriage—but our relationship with God. You’ll learn: How to recognize attachment patterns that keep you stuck Why behavior doesn’t change until your nervous system feels safe How to respond to your child’s big emotions without losing connection What it means to “abide” when your body has only known striving How presence and proximity—not pressure—create lasting transformation Whether you’re a parent, pastor, or someone on a healing journey, this episode is full of practical tools and new language that will help you move from disconnection to security. “Transformation isn’t about performing better. It’s about being seen, loved, and known—especially in the places we’ve learned to hide.” About Dr. Todd Hall: Dr. Hall is the author of The Connected Life and a leading voice in the field of relational spirituality. A psychologist and professor at Biola University, his work helps people understand how love, attachment, and emotional presence are central to both healing and discipleship. Favorite Takeaways: You’re not broken. You’re reacting to what your body learned was normal. Correction is a gift of love—but connection must come first. The nervous system can’t receive truth when it’s overwhelmed. Spiritual formation is relational, not a list of disciplines. Parents shape their children’s view of God through emotional safety. Resources Mentioned: Instagram: @drtoddwhall Facebook: @drtoddwhall LinkedIn: @drtoddwhall Linktree: linktr.ee/drtoddwhall Website: https://www.relationalspirituality.co The Connected Life book by Dr. Todd Hall Learn more at John15Academy.com Let’s Stay Connected: John 15 Academy is a donor-supported ministry that helps families and communities restore the lost art of being family through consulting, curriculum, speaking, and storytelling. Explore more and support our work at John15Academy.com/give. Together, there is great hope.
What if discipline isn’t about becoming someone better—but about learning to live from the truth of who you already are? In this episode, we continue our conversation on discipline—not as punishment or control, but as the sacred practice of forming identity through daily habits of love, truth, and presence. We explore how discipline aligns with our new identity in Christ, and how we help our children grow into that truth—not by force, but by faithfulness. You’ll hear stories of real formation—what it looks like in parenting, in marriage, and even in how we relate to ourselves. We talk about the awkward, vulnerable process of “showing up to spring training” after receiving the gift of a new identity—and how discipline is God’s invitation to grow into that gift with grace, humility, and trust. This episode is not a list of parenting techniques—it’s a reminder that formation happens in the small, sacred choices we make each day to believe what’s true and build habits that reflect it. You’re in the Right Place If… ✔ You want to help your children live from their identity in Christ—not just earn your approval ✔ You’re wondering how to grow into the truth of your own identity when it still feels unfamiliar ✔ You’re looking for a better way to parent than control—but you still want real structure and growth ✔ You long for family rhythms that feel secure, grace-filled, and aligned with the kingdom of God Key Takeaways: Discipline isn’t punishment—it’s the daily, steady work of forming identity and maturity. We’re all being formed by something—the only question is… are we choosing it, or drifting into it? Small, intentional habits—meaningful conversations, returning to joy, asking for help—quietly rewrite the story our families live in. You don’t have to get it perfect to make it powerful. Real growth happens in the ordinary, imperfect, love-soaked moments. Let’s Keep Growing Together: Share this episode with a friend who’s longing for a better way to parent—or simply to live loved. Visit John15Academy.com for more articles and a growing library of resources to help you live, love, and lead from a place of freedom. Resources We Mention: Article: Discipline Is Not What You Think: How Habit Training Forms the Soul Practicing the Art of Being Family (eBook): A simple, grace-filled guide for real-life family transformation Episode #161: The Three Instruments of Formation—How Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life Shape Your Family’s Story Article: The Three Doors: Why Families Survive, Strive, or Find Freedom The Curated Life Newsletter: Join the community for encouragement and resources to live loved, not afraid Let’s Stay Connected: We’re a donor-supported ministry that helps families and communities restore the lost art of being family through consulting, curriculum, speaking, and storytelling. Explore more and support our work at John15Academy.com/give. Together, there is great hope.
Every family is practicing discipline—even if we don’t realize it. But the question isn’t whether discipline is happening… it’s what kind of discipline is happening—and whether it’s forming fear, frustration, or secure, lasting maturity. Some discipline conforms us to the patterns of this world; kingdom discipline transforms us into the truth of who God created us to be. In this episode, we reframe discipline as the quiet, relational work of forming the soul—not controlling behavior. We explore how real discipline starts with us, flows through meaningful conversations, and shapes our families for the long haul. We also share relatable stories, unpack the common pitfalls that often undermine discipline, and invite parents—and grandparents—into a better way to grow. You’re in the Right Place If… ✔ You’re tired of reacting to your child’s behavior and want to lead with love and intentionality ✔ You’ve ever wondered how to build trust with your children—not just obedience ✔ You want practical ways to guide your kids with integrity, not control ✔ You believe discipline should shape identity, not shrink it with shame Key Takeaways: Discipline isn’t punishment—it’s the quiet, daily formation of character, identity, and belonging. Meaningful conversations are one of the most powerful tools of discipline when they model safety, truth, and connection. Real growth begins when we stop reacting to behavior and start responding to the deeper needs beneath it. As Hebrews 12:6 reminds us, “The Lord disciplines those He loves.” When we let God form us, we’re equipped to guide our families with love, not fear. Resources We Mention: Article: Discipline Is Not What You Think: How Habit Training Forms the Soul Practicing the Art of Being Family (eBook): A simple, grace-filled guide for real-life family transformation Episode #161: The Three Instruments of Formation—How Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life Shape Your Family’s Story Article: The Three Doors: Why Families Survive, Strive, or Find Freedom The Curated Life Newsletter: Join the community for encouragement and resources to live loved, not afraid Let’s Stay Connected: We’re a donor-supported ministry that helps families and communities restore the lost art of being family through consulting, curriculum, speaking, and storytelling. Explore more and support our work at John15Academy.com/give. Together, there is great hope.
In today’s special episode, Doug and Janet share the story behind Rooted in Kerrville—a project born from their deep love of the Texas Hill Country, their partnership with Mercy Gate Ministries, and their heartache for a community forever changed by the devastating July 4 flood. This is more than a relief effort. It’s a long-term investment in soul restoration. When the flood hit, the physical damage was immense—but so was the emotional and spiritual toll. Local nonprofits like Mercy Gate are overwhelmed. Families are grieving. And pastors and helpers are exhausted, yet still showing up. In this episode, we share: How our work with Mercy Gate Ministries began—and why it matters now more than ever Why we’re developing a brand-new print resource to help Kerrville’s pastors, parents, and leaders rebuild from the inside out How you can support this sacred work through prayer, generosity, and presence Why we’re also launching a free 40-day reflection series on Substack to walk with Kerrville—and anyone grieving or disoriented—through this season of restoration We’re not asking the people of Kerrville to give. We’re asking those of us outside the flood zone to say: “We’re still here. We see you. We believe in restoration.” Want to Help? Give to Support Long-Term Restoration - Your gift helps fund: The editing, design, and printing of the Rooted in Kerrville: Restoration from the Inside Out guide Our continued consulting and formation-based work with Mercy Gate Ministries Ongoing presence, training, and relational restoration efforts for the community Give Now → john15academy.com/kerrville Walk With Us: A Ministry of Presence - We’re also publishing a free 40-day reflection series—short, gentle emails written especially for the people of Kerrville but meaningful for anyone navigating grief, disruption, or the slow work of restoration. The Substack essays are not a fundraising tool. It’s a ministry of presence. An offering of hope. And a way to remember that you’re not alone. Subscribe Free → janetnewberry.substack.com Final Word - You don’t have to be strong to be loved. You don’t have to rush your grief. You’re allowed to feel, to rest, and to heal—one day at a time. Let’s walk this road together. For Kerrville. For each other. For the kind of restoration that starts from the inside out. Together, there is great hope.
Every family is being shaped by a story, whether we realize it or not. The question isn’t if formation is happening…it’s what kind of formation is happening, and whether it’s rooted in fear or freedom. In this episode, we introduce The Three Instruments of Formation—Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life—and explore how they help create secure, connected homes where faith and maturity can take root. We also revisit the Three Doors framework and share how real families—maybe even yours—are living in stories of survival, striving, or freedom. Most of us didn’t choose the story we grew up in, but we can choose the story we pass on. You’re in the Right Place If… You’re tired of reacting in the moment and want to be intentional about shaping your home. You’ve ever wondered why your family feels stuck—and what it would take to create real change. You want practical ways to create a secure, grace-filled environment for your kids. You believe there’s more to parenting than behavior management—and you’re ready to experience it. Key Takeaways: Formation is always happening—the atmosphere, rhythms, and input in your home are shaping your family’s story every day. Secure relationships—not pressure, performance, or perfection, are the foundation for maturity and a life of faith. The Three Instruments of Formation—Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life—are simple, practical tools to help your family align with freedom, not fear. It’s never too late to shift the story you’re living and passing on. Small, intentional changes make a lasting difference. Resources We Mention: Episode #155: How The Story You Live Shapes the Family You Build The Three Doors Article: The Three Doors: Why Families Survive, Strive, or Find Freedom New Article: How Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life Form Your Family Practicing the Art of Being Family (eBook) — A simple, grace-filled guide for real-life family transformation The Curated Life Newsletter — Join the community for encouragement and resources to live loved, not afraid Let’s Stay Connected: We’re a donor-supported ministry helping families and communities practice the art of being family—through consulting, curriculum, speaking, and storytelling. Explore more and support our work at John15Academy.com/give. Together, there is great hope.
Episode Summary: Before a single word is spoken, we’ve already told a story. The emotional and spiritual tone we carry into a room—our atmosphere—is one of the most powerful instruments of formation in family life. In this episode, we unpack what atmosphere is, why it matters, and how it quietly shapes what our children believe about love, safety, identity, and belonging. You’ll discover how the Three Doors framework (Survival, Striving, and Transformation) shows up in the “air” of our homes and why peace-building—not pressure—creates the soil where souls grow. Whether you’re parenting, leading, or simply learning how to abide instead of perform, this episode will help you breathe a little deeper and build relationships that last. You’re in the right place if… You sometimes wonder why your home feels tense, even when no one is saying anything out loud. You’ve tried all the right parenting strategies, but something still feels off beneath the surface. Your child seems anxious, explosive, or withdrawn—and you’re realizing that presence matters more than pressure You want to build a home where peace is the atmosphere and formation begins with love, not fear. Key Takeaways: Atmosphere is the first instrument of formation. Long before our kids hear our words, they feel our presence. Parents—not children—are responsible for the emotional tone of the home. Your nervous system sets the thermostat. You can’t build homes of transformation with materials shaped by fear. Peace is the environment where souls grow. You don’t need to be perfect—you need to be present. The atmosphere of Door #3 is formed by grace, not performance. If you haven't yet heard other episodes in this series, listen now: #154 - Are You Aiming At The Wrong Target? Why Parenting Feels So Hard #155 - How The Story We Live Shapes the Family We Build Resources mentioned in this episode: The Three Doors - Why Families Strive, Survive, or Find Freedom (blog post) Atmosphere - What Our Children Feel Before We Say A Word (blog post) Purchase the eBook: Practicing the Art of Being Family Subscribe to The Curated Life Newsletter Read the Manifesto Let’s Stay Connected: We’re a donor-supported ministry helping families and communities practice the art of being family—through consulting, curriculum, speaking, and storytelling. Explore more and support our work at John15Academy.com/give. Together, there is great hope.
What if prayer wasn’t about getting the words right, but about being real? In this tender and honest conversation, Janet and Doug sit down with poet and author Tanner Olson, whose new children’s book All the Things I Say to God is helping families make prayer a natural part of everyday life. They explore Tanner and his wife’s journey through infertility and adoption, the power of surrender, and what it means to live a creative life anchored in faith, family, and honest conversations with God. You’re in the Right Place If… You want to raise kids who feel safe enough to talk to God about anything. You’re in a season of waiting, wondering where God is in the silence. You’ve ever wrestled with not being in control, but longed to feel secure anyway. Highlights from the Conversation: Prayer as Presence – How Tanner’s book models that sitting quietly with God is just as valid as speaking out loud. Love in the Waiting – Their shared experience of waiting for children—and discovering that grief and joy often share the same space. Peace Over Performance – Why surrender isn’t giving up, but choosing safety in God instead of control. Creative Callings – Tanner’s story of becoming a poet, the faith of his parents, and the courage it takes to follow a different path. Key Takeaways: Children don’t need perfect prayers. They need permission to speak to God like they speak to someone who loves them. Surrendered doesn’t mean powerless. It means safe and secure in the hands of a faithful God—even when you don’t have all the answers. Waiting can be formative. Love, art, and spiritual maturity often grow in the in-between spaces. We are receivers first. God is the initiator, and our job is to remain open—to receive, respond, and create from love. Mentioned in this Episode: All the Things I Say to God by Tanner Olson Tanner’s website: writtentospeak.com Follow Tanner on Instagram: @writtentospeak Help Us Share the Good News: If this episode encouraged you, please share it with a friend—or post it on social media and tag @john15academy and @writtentospeak. Together, there is great hope.
If your children are grown—or even moving back home—and you’ve just now found language for what it means to live loved instead of afraid… this episode is for you. Today, we’re responding to questions from listeners who’ve read the manifesto, heard the message at Network 220, watched this YouTube conversation with Janet and Robby Angle, or started exploring Practicing the Art of Being Family. They’re asking: “Do these truths still apply if my kids are already out of the house?” And, "Is there still great hope if my children are already grown?" The answer is yes. Because you’re still a parent—but you’re first a child of God. And healing begins the moment you stop striving to fix the story, and start living from what’s already true. We explore: Why your peace is more important than your perfection How formation still happens—no matter how old your kids are The difference between carrying your child’s burden and becoming their safe place What it looks like to lead your family without fear—even in a season of disappointment, distance, or regret This episode will meet you where you are—and help you begin again, without starting over. Takeaways: Your family’s story isn’t finished. The Gospel doesn’t expire with age. Restoration is still possible—because transformation begins in you, not your circumstances. You can’t give what you haven’t received. When you abide in your identity as a beloved child of God, you stop asking your children to meet needs only the Father can fill. Peace is your starting point. True leadership isn’t about control or correction—it’s about being the safest, most truthful presence in the room. Resources Mentioned in this episode: Trueface – The PATH A new book and discipleship resource helping people walk in truth, identity, and grace. Sarah Boyd – Turn Down the NoiseA beautiful book for helping children develop emotional resilience in an overstimulated world. Check out our practical and inspirational conversation with Sarah in episode #156-How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids in a Chronically Overstimulated World John 15 Academy Manifesto - A free invitation to rethink family through the lens of identity, grace, and formation. Practicing the Art of Being Family – eBook - A 3-part framework for restoring the lost art of being family—through atmosphere, discipline, and life. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend and leave a review. Your support helps us spread the message of fearless love and family transformation. You were made for a beautiful life. You don’t have to settle for less. 💙
Today, we have the joy of welcoming Robby Angle, President and CEO of Trueface, to the Love is Fearless Podcast! Robby is passionate about helping people move from simply knowing about grace to living out their true identity in Jesus—with trust, freedom, and relational depth. Before leading Trueface, Robby pastored thousands toward authentic community at North Point Community Church. Now, he’s helping steward a powerful new resource called The Path—an experience designed to move believers beyond striving and into a transformational life of trusting God. Also, The Path Experience Guide is designed for community groups to facilitate life change through relationships. Together, we’ll explore: What inspired The Path and why it’s so needed now How trusting God (not just pleasing Him) changes everything Why following Jesus sometimes feels harder after you surrender—and how that’s part of real transformation How families, not just individuals, can be reshaped by grace You’re in the Right Place If… You’re tired of knowing about grace but still feeling stuck. Maybe you’re looking for God’s approval. Maybe you’re looking for man’s approval. Maybe you’re tired of looking for approval, and you’re ready to admit you’re looking for meaning and purpose. You’re not sure about Jesus - and you’re really not sure about a life of faith. Too much of what you see either lacks authenticity or adds too much pressure…but, honestly, you’re tired of dreading Mondays…so if there’s more to the Jesus story than you’ve experienced so far…you’re curious. You’re ready to stop trying to figure it out alone—and start walking the path of grace with Jesus. Favorite quotes from today's conversation: (Doug's favorite) “Each and every one of us longs for fulfillment. It’s in our bones, in our blood, in our breath. We sense that we are made for peace and joy and yet it slips through our grasping fingers like water and wind. Breathe. Find the courage to look at your longing, at your closed fists. And ask: What have I been searching for?” (The City, The Path) (Janet's favorite) “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet." (Frederick Buechner) “Every morning we stand on the wild edge of a story unfolding beneath our very feet.” (The Story, The Path) 📥 Download the manifesto to start transformative conversations in your marriage, small group, or church community. Get your copy of Practicing the Art of Being Family today and start experiencing a new story of hope in your home. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend and leave a review. Your support helps us spread the message of fearless love and family transformation. You were made for a beautiful life. You don’t have to settle for less. 💙
In this special episode of LOVE IS FEARLESS, Janet and Doug are joined by Sarah Boyd—author, child and adolescent development expert, and founder of Resilient Little Hearts. Sarah’s new book, Turn Down the Noise, offers a much-needed guide to raising emotionally healthy kids in today’s overstimulated world. This warm, insightful conversation explores the realities families face and the hope available when we slow down, simplify, and create a safe emotional atmosphere at home. You’re in the Right Place If… You feel caught between wanting to slow down and fearing what will happen if you do. You’ve seen big emotions or challenging behaviors in your child and wondered, “Is this anxiety… or are we all just overwhelmed?” You’ve ever felt like the pace of modern life is stealing the peace in your home—or wondered why your child’s emotions feel so big (or yours so close to the surface). Conversation Takeaways - Overstimulation is not a parenting failure—it’s a cultural reality. But it’s not inevitable. We can shape environments that help our children thrive. Emotional maturity in children begins with emotional safety—and safety begins with us. Slowing down is not weakness; it’s wisdom. Simplifying our home rhythms isn’t about doing less—it’s about doing what matters most: creating space for connection, rest, and delight. The emotional atmosphere of our home doesn’t have to feed the chaos. Home can become a place of healing. Resources & Links Mentioned 🌐 Sarah’s Website – Resilient Little Hearts 📘 Preorder Sarah’s new book – Turn Down the Noise 📕 Children’s Book – The Boy Who Stood Up Tall Follow Sarah Boyd - Instagram: @resilientlittlehearts Facebook: Resilient Little Hearts Explore More from John 15 Academy Read the Manifesto Dive into the eBook Stay tuned for our upcoming family and church curriculum! 📩 Subscribe to The Curated Life – Get grace-filled parenting insights delivered to your inbox every month. Sign up here! 📲 Follow Us & Stay Connected: 🔗 Instagram | Facebook | Website | Merch Together, there is great hope.
What if your parenting struggles aren’t about strategy—but about the story your family is living? In this episode, Janet introduces The Three Doors—a simple but powerful framework that reveals how the emotional and spiritual atmosphere of your home helps conform or transform the people your children become. Whether you’re stuck in survival, exhausted from striving, or longing for something more—this conversation will give you hope, clarity, and practical next steps. We’re not managing behavior—we’re building a culture where transformation grows. 🔑 You’re in the Right Place If... You’ve tried every parenting strategy and still feel like you’re falling short. Your home feels either too tense or too checked out—and you’re craving connection. You long for grace-based parenting but don’t know how to make it practical. You’ll Learn: The 3 “story environments” families live in (and how to tell which one you’re in) Why language is the fertilizer of transformation How to create a home where identity grows stronger than fear 📌 3 Key Takeaways Every family is living in a story—but not every story leads to transformation. What story are you building? The emotional and relational atmosphere of your home speaks louder than your rules. You don’t have to create a new story alone—transformation begins by walking through the door that’s already open. 🙌 Final Invitation Today, Jesus isn’t asking you to try harder—He’s inviting you to step into a free life where transformation grows, not from pressure, but from grace. Your home can be a place where shame loses its grip, and love makes you whole. 🟢 Read the free manifesto 🟢 Visit john15academy.com for articles, podcast episodes, and resources 🟢 Start a conversation about bringing this message to your church or small group 🟢 Partner with us—your gift helps more families walk into Door #3📩 Subscribe to The Curated Life – Get grace-filled parenting insights delivered to your inbox every month. Sign up here! 📲 Follow Us & Stay Connected: 🔗 Instagram | Facebook | Website | Merch Together, there is great hope. New boost
Episode Summary: Parenting is exhausting—but what if the struggle isn’t because you’re doing it wrong, but because you’re aiming at the wrong target? In this episode, we unpack the story of an Olympic athlete who hit the bullseye—but lost everything because he was aiming at the wrong lane. This powerful analogy helps parents recognize how our culture trains us to aim at compliance instead of wholeness—and why that’s a costly misalignment. If parenting feels like a constant battle to "get it right," this episode will help you reframe your target and find a path that leads to peace, connection, and lasting transformation. You're in the Right Place If... ✔ You feel exhausted trying to get your kids to listen and obey. ✔ You wonder why your best efforts still lead to tension at home. ✔ You’re looking for a way to parent that brings peace, not pressure. Key Takeaways: 🎯 The Target Determines Everything – If we aim at compliance, we might get short-term results but miss long-term maturity. The right target is wholeness through transformation. 💨 Stress Shrinks Perspective – When we’re overwhelmed, we default to control. But pressure and compliance don’t create maturity—they hijack it. 🌱 Maturity happens through trust, not control. Read More & Continue the Conversation 🔗 Related Articles: 📖 Struggling in the Kingdom vs. the Upside-Down World – How your response to struggle shapes everything. 📖 Transformational vs. Transactional Relationships – Why parenting is about more than "just getting kids to behave." 📖 The Way of Jesus vs. The Way of the World – The parenting shift that changes everything. 🎧 Listen to Past Episodes: Episode #153: Why We Struggle With Struggle—3 Steps to Strengthen Emotional Resilience Take the Next Step: 💡 Pause and reflect. Where am I aiming? Am I focusing on behavior or cultivating a secure connection? 📝 Journal Prompt – Where does stress cause me to default to control? What small shift can I make today to trust God in my parenting? 🎙 Share Your Thoughts! – Leave us a review or share this episode with a friend who needs encouragement. 📩 Subscribe to The Curated Life – Get grace-filled parenting insights delivered to your inbox every month. Sign up here! 📲 Follow Us & Stay Connected: 🔗 Instagram | Facebook | Website | Merch
Struggle isn’t the enemy, but how we navigate it can either weaken or strengthen our families. In this episode of Love Is Fearless, we’re tackling a fundamental shift that can change everything about the way we experience challenges at home and beyond. The world teaches us to fear struggle, to fix it, avoid it, or control it. But the kingdom of God offers a completely different way forward—one that leads to peace, connection, and resilience instead of exhaustion and shame. Today, we’re diving into the power of relational terrain—the unseen atmosphere of trust, connection, and security that determines whether struggle will make us stronger or wear us down. 🔑 In this episode, we explore: 1️⃣ Struggle isn’t the real problem—fear, isolation, and shame are. It’s not the struggle itself that harms us; it’s how we respond to it. In the kingdom, struggle is an invitation to growth, not a reason for guilt. 2️⃣ Your home’s relational terrain shapes how your family navigates struggle. When kids feel safe, seen, and connected, they develop resilience. But when fear, control, or performance shape the home, struggle feels like a crisis instead of a place to grow. 3️⃣ 3 Steps to Strengthen Your Family’s Relational Immune System: The Habit of a Greeting: Simple, daily connection reinforces identity and worth. Technology-Free Zones: Choosing where and when we abide in real connection shapes what fills our minds and hearts. The Habit of a Good Night: Ending the day with peace and presence strengthens security instead of fueling performance anxiety. 🚀 Key Takeaways: 💡 “Struggle doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re growing.” 💡 “You don’t have to control every challenge. You just need to build a home where love, truth, and security hold steady when struggle comes.” 💡 “The terrain of your relationships determines whether struggle strengthens you or breaks you.” 📖 Great Resources Mentioned in This Episode: 📚 Education by Design, Not Default – Janet Newberry’s book on transformation through relationships, rhythms, and learning in freedom. 📚 Atomic Habits – James Clear’s groundbreaking book on how small, intentional habits create lasting change. 📚 Sacred Attachment – Michael Cusick’s wisdom on healing and transformation through secure relationships. 📚 The Connected Life – Dr. Todd Hall’s guide to relational spirituality and why love changes everything. 💌 Stay Connected & Keep Growing Sign up for The Curated Life, your monthly guide to restoring the lost art of being family. As a subscriber, you’ll get: ✅ Early updates on Janet’s upcoming e-book, church curriculum, and speaking events ✅ Encouraging blog posts and resources for your family’s journey ✅ Exclusive access to download the Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family manifesto for free Join us at john15academy.com and step into a new way of family-ing. 💙 If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend and leave a review! Your support helps us spread the message of fearless love and kingdom parenting. 🙏 Thank you for listening! You were made for a beautiful life—you don’t have to settle for less.
In this special episode of the Love Is Fearless podcast, we’re excited to launch something deeply personal and transformative—our manifesto: “Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family.” These aren’t just words on a page; they’re an invitation to reimagine what’s possible for your family. 🔑 In this episode, we discuss five key ideas from the manifesto: 1. Great parents are first great children. Before you can lead your family well, you have to embrace your identity as a child of God. Parenting isn’t just about what you do—it’s about who you are in Him. 2. You can’t give what you haven’t received. If you want your kids to live free from fear and shame, you have to learn to live that way yourself. Healthy parenting starts with your own transformation. 3. Quick fixes don’t last. Behavior management tricks might work for a while, but eventually, they backfire—on you or your child. Real change happens at the heart level, not through shortcuts. 4. Worth is a gift, not a goal. You’ll never give your best self to your family if you’re too busy trying to prove your value. Your worth isn’t something you earn—it’s something you receive. 5. Jesus offers what self-reliance never can. Trying to control your kids won’t bring peace. Surrendering them to Jesus will. True safety isn’t a tighter grip. It's trusting Jesus. 🚀 Key Takeaways: “The problem isn’t you—it’s the story you’ve been handed.” “Parents were never meant to carry the weight of shame—and our kids weren’t meant to inherit it.” “The Kingdom of God is at hand, and that changes everything.” 📥 Download the manifesto to start transformative conversations in your marriage, small group, or church community. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend and leave a review. Your support helps us spread the message of fearless love and family transformation. You were made for a beautiful life. You don’t have to settle for less. 💙 Find more great resources mentioned in this episode: Joshua Gordon - LazarusBooks.com - Senior Editor at theleadpastor.com #041: If I don't manipulate — How do I Get My Kids to Do the Right Thing Part 1 #042: If I don't manipulate — How do I Get My Kids to Do the Right Thing Part 2 Visit john15academy.com to sign up for The Curated Life—your monthly guide to restoring the lost art of being family. As a subscriber, you’ll get: Early updates on Janet’s upcoming e-book, church curriculum, and speaking events Encouraging blog posts and resources for your family’s journey Access to download the Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family manifesto for free Our work at John 15 Academy is made possible by generous supporters. If you'd like to join our support team, we'd be honored to have you with us. Together, there is great hope. 🙏 Thank You for Listening!
What if family wasn’t meant to be about striving but about abiding? For generations, we’ve been taught that good parenting means controlling outcomes, managing behavior, and setting our kids up for success. But what if that approach isn’t working? Today, we unveiled something deeply personal: our manifesto, Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family. This isn’t just a collection of words—it’s a call to reimagine what’s possible for your family. It’s a rallying cry to turn away from fear, shame, and transactional living and step into the freedom of abiding in God’s love. 🔹 You’re in the right place if… ✔️ You’re tired of carrying the invisible weight of parenting shame and wondering if there’s a better way. ✔️ You’ve tried behavior management strategies, but deep down, you know your family needs more than quick fixes. ✔️ You’re ready to believe that the Kingdom of God isn’t just for someday—it’s for your family, right here and now. 🔥 The Problem: We Were Never Meant to Carry This Weight 👉 Our children are not okay—but neither are parents. We live in an upside-down world where stress, anxiety, and shame are the norm. Parents panic over misbehavior, not just because they want what’s best for their children, but because their struggles expose something deeper—the shame we carry, too. 🛑 But what if shame was never ours to carry? 🌿 What if the Kingdom of God really is at hand—and that changes everything about how we love and lead our families? 🌱 A New Path Forward: Abiding, Not Striving Jesus didn’t come to improve our striving—He came to end it. He came to restore us to the Father, to remind us that we don’t have to prove our worth or fight for love. In the Kingdom, our identity is received, not achieved. 💡 What’s Possible: More Than Just an Above-Average Life Most families settle for survival—or maybe an “above-average” life. But Jesus promised more: 🕊️ A home where love isn’t earned, but given freely. 🔄 A family culture where transformation is the norm, not the exception. 💖 A life where shame no longer holds us hostage, because Jesus carried it to the cross. ✨ A Kingdom Invitation Imagine a family where: 🏡 Your home is a place of peace, not performance. 🪨 You rely on God’s presence, not your own capacity. 🌿 You experience the beauty of family as God intended. This is the lost art of being family. Together, there is great hope. 📥 Download the Manifesto 🚀 Final Takeaways ✔️ The problem isn’t you—it’s the story you’ve been handed. ✔️ Parents were never meant to carry the weight of shame—and our kids weren’t meant to inherit it. ✔️ The Kingdom of God is at hand, and that changes everything. 💙 You were made for a beautiful life. You don’t have to settle for less. 📖 Resources Mentioned in This Episode: 📚 Education by Design, Not Default – Janet Newberry 📚 Atomic Habits – James Clear 📚 Sacred Attachment – Michael Cusick 📚 The Connected Life – Dr. Todd Hall Visit john15academy.com and sign up for The Curated Life newsletter—your monthly guide to restoring the lost art of being family in your own home. You'll also receive early updates about Janet’s upcoming e-book, church curriculum development, and opportunities to hear Janet speak. Each edition points to insightful blog posts you might have missed and offers encouragement for your journey. The Curated Life will keep you informed whether you want to attend an event or invite Janet to your church or community. This podcast and our work at John 15 Academy are made possible by generous donors and a supportive community. If you’d like to be part of our financial support team, we’d be honored to have you with us. Together, there is great hope. 🙏 Thank you for listening. We’d love to hear how this episode resonates with you—share your reflections and tag us! 👀 Next Episode Teaser: We’ll dive deeper into how these ideas change everyday family life. Subscribe to the LOVE IS FEARLESS podcast on your favorite podcast provider and stay tuned!
If you've been going to church for a very long time, you probably think "abiding" is something you do - and you don't have time for one more thing! Join us in this conversation to be reminded that abiding is NOT what you may think: It doesn't need to happen at a specific time. There is no need for a "secret place" - at least not in your house. It's not about checking "read my Bible" off your to-do list. It's not about praying because you think you're supposed to. It's not your bid to connect with Jesus. Good news! Abiding is a gift you receive, not a task you complete. It means being with Jesus in your mind and body instead of alone in your thoughts. It's a way of being with yourself that feels secure instead of insecure because you are not alone—and you're not powerless. The eight benefits you'll hear us discuss in this episode cannot be bought on Amazon, and you can't DIY these blessings either. The best part is that these benefits will change your life in the way of transformation instead of conformity. Transformation is a miracle we can't stop when we're with someone who loves us and gives us the gift of deep peace. Jesus is always available to be that Someone. In this episode, Doug and Janet walk you through a meaningful meditation that offers an abiding experience and shows you how simple it is. If this episode gives you permission to risk an abiding life, check out Janet's blog at john15academy.com. Find the post How To Abide - It's Not What You Think to discover a free PDF of Scripture references and a few journaling prompts. Listen now to discover eight benefits of abiding and the power of these takeaways: 1️⃣ Striving keeps us stuck in survival mode, but abiding brings peace, security, and real connection—first with Jesus, then in our families. We don’t have to earn what God freely gives. 2️⃣ Abiding isn’t just another thing to add to your to-do list. It’s a way of being—living from a secure connection with Jesus, where love, wisdom, and peace flow naturally. 3️⃣ The benefits of abiding—like deep love, wisdom beyond our own, and true rest—can’t be bought, earned, or manufactured. They’re gifts we receive when we stop striving and trust that Jesus is enough. Check out this previous episode, too: #120 - Why Survival Mode May Be Killing Your Relationships Visit john15academy.com and sign up for The Curated Life newsletter—your monthly guide to restoring the lost art of being family in your own home. You'll also receive early updates about Janet’s upcoming e-book, church curriculum development, and opportunities to hear Janet speak. Each edition points to insightful blog posts you might have missed and offers encouragement for your journey. The Curated Life will keep you informed whether you want to attend an event or invite Janet to your church or community. As a subscriber, you'll be the first to know when Janet’s Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family Manifesto is published—and you'll get exclusive access to download it for free. This podcast and our work at John 15 Academy are made possible by generous donors and a supportive community. If you’d like to be part of our financial support team, we’d be honored to have you with us. Together, there is great hope.
Joshua Gordon is a son, brother, husband to Sarah, dad to five children, lay pastor, author, and Senior Editor of theleadpastor.com. We're grateful that Joshua agreed to share a dad's response to the challenges of living in an economy of love. In our previous episode (#148), we challenged parents with these questions: If the kingdom of God is at hand, what's really changed in our homes? If the law is love now, what's different? If I trust the finished work of Jesus for my secure identity, how does that change my relationship with God? How does that change my relationship with myself? And with you? In this episode, Joshua Gordon admits we can be triggered when our children respond to us with an attitude instead of respect. Join us in this priceless and vulnerable conversation about navigating our emotions and personal narratives so that the child and our family benefit from the frustrating interaction instead of allowing it to weaken the relational fabric in our home. In our conversation with Joshua, we found wisdom and help for moving forward when our kids are disrespectful by discovering that many of our children's problems today: The books on our shelves don't have answers because they were written several years ago, and our culture is changing quickly. We can find the answers to these problems in conversations with God and others who rely on God in their own stories. We can also help our children listen to God and receive His help. Many of our children’s problems are really invitations from God to abide with Him because they have roots in our own unresolved issues. Our children’s problems are, in some ways, gifts that require us to ask, "Is my desperation or dependence on Jesus driving my response to this parenting crisis?" Then, we get to talk to God about why we depend on something less than our true identity (and our security with Him) when emotions get messy and problems are real. Visit john15academy.com and sign up for The Curated Life newsletter—your monthly guide to restoring the lost art of being family in your own home. Each edition points to insightful blog posts you might have missed and offers encouragement for your journey. As a subscriber, you'll be the first to know when Janet’s Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family Manifesto is published—and you'll get exclusive access to download it for free. You'll also receive early updates about Janet’s upcoming e-book, our church curriculum in development, and opportunities to hear Janet speak. The Curated Life will keep you informed whether you want to attend an event or invite Janet to your church or community. This podcast and our work at John 15 Academy are made possible by generous donors and a supportive community. If you’d like to be part of our financial support team, we’d be honored to have you with us. Together, there is great hope.
Welcome to Season Six: Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family. This first episode of the new year is dedicated to the letter T in The Curated Life episode. In it, we discover what love has to do with tension, transformation, and trust. Have you ever played with the nuances of a new life in Christ? Ask yourselves: If the kingdom of God is at hand, what’s really changed? If the law is love now, what’s different? Since Jesus finished the work and made me righteous, how can I let that truth change my relationship with myself? How does that change my relationship with God and you? The design for our human stories works with the law but isn't powered by it. Sometimes, in legalistic families, we get distracted and never discover our God-given identity. In homes that don't believe the government is on God's shoulders, we don't find our unique purpose in the world either. We may spend our lives doing many good things without experiencing the fulfillment we're created to enjoy in an economy of love. Linger in these takeaways and share this episode with a friend: In this world, we will have tension. Everything is not yet the way it’s supposed to be - and we will add the power of love or the power of fear to the places in our stories where life feels out of control. Fear is an inflammatory response. Love is an anti-inflammatory. Transformation doesn’t happen the way conformity does. We’ve spent a long time learning to conform to the law and missing out on the transformation love offers. We don’t have to keep putting new wine in old wineskins—especially not at home. When we add love to our experiences of tension, we begin to notice new changes that look more like transformation than conformity. This is the power of an environment of trust. Trust is the soil that offers the air of safety. Safety to fail - and recover without shame, so we can help the people who trust us recover without shame, too. Visit john15academy.com and sign up for THE CURATED LIFE newsletter. This year, it arrives only once a month, but it will point you to blog posts you might have missed about how you can restore the lost art of family in your own home. You’ll be the first to hear the big news when the Restoring the Lost Art of Being family Manifesto Janet is writing is published, and you can download it for free. And, you’ll be the first to get the news about a new e-book coming soon, news about a curriculum we’re writing for churches who want to help restore the lost art of being family in their communities, find out where Janet is speaking this year, or connect with her about speaking to your church or community. Please join us on this mission. We can’t restore the lost art of being family by working in isolation. That would be the old way, not the way of flourishing in an economy of love. We are a donor-supported podcast and a community-supported non-profit. We’d be delighted for you to join our financial support team. Together, there is great hope.
In this end-of-year episode, we're reflecting on our journey, celebrating the present, and looking ahead at 2025 with gratitude and hope. Join us to hear some of our favorite transformation stories from 2024 and our clarified vision for 2025. You’re in the right place if... You believe growing pains are worth it because they mean you’re maturing into who God created you to be. You’re looking for hope and encouragement as you embrace transformation in your family and life. You want to celebrate the moments when God’s clarity shines through, even on a winding road. At John 15 Academy, we're embracing the mission of Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family. We envision families where love bridges the gap between our worst fears about ourselves and God’s vision for who we’re created to be. In 2025, we’re narrowing our focus to deepen our impact by creating a curriculum for churches and consulting with non-profits. Our goal is to help families embrace the transformation that love offers, moving beyond the fear-driven pursuit of 'measuring up' to a life of authentic growth and connection. Please prayerfully consider giving generously to our end-of-year giving campaign and help us meet our goal of raising $50,000 to help us pursue this meaningful work. Takeaways from this episode: Growth often comes with growing pains, but those moments of discomfort are signs that you’re growing into the person God created you to be - and who He already sees you to be. Clarity comes through surrender—trust God with your journey, and He’ll lead you to a clearer, more meaningful path. The future is full of hope when we lean into transformational relationships that reflect God’s love and truth. Enjoy these popular LOVE IS FEARLESS episodes, mentioned in our conversation today - #76 - Why Integrity Matters with Scott Morrison #86 - Why Love is the Only Weapon Against Self-Sabotage with John Lynch DON'T FORGET—We have merchandise! You can find so many possibilities by visiting the LOVE IS FEARLESS collection on dicksonthreads.com.
Rachel Bradley
Re-listening to this one (and the other parts) today as our biggest boy struggles with a decision we made to detox from all things tech for the whole family's health and maturity. Wishing I had a trustworthy community to share this burden!