Magellans at the Movies

What an utterly terrible year 2025 has been. People are angry, depressed, and hopelessly ensnared in economic woes, and Europe is doing an alarmingly accurate throwback cosplay of the continent’s 1913 political situation. For all desiring an escape from the bleak headlines and bleaker forecasts, however, there were still movies in this the two thousand and twenty fifth year of our Lord, some of them quite good. There were sleeper hits like Sinners and very much wakeful flops like Thunderbolts, Snow White, Mickey 17, Captain America, and . . . just so many more. Still, we all know (I hope) that money hardly equates with quality, and there were plenty of excellent smaller films that came out this year, some of which may be on the Magellans at the Movies 2025 year in review! Join us today as we talk about the best, the worst, and the most anticipated movies we’ve seen and heard about in 2025, not to mention a cheeky book or video game recommendation here and there. Grab some hot chocolate and go heavy on the marshmallows as Nathan and Elliot look back on the year that was and forward at the year to come in our brand new episode! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Stand by me. If that's something I ever say to you, be aware that I have likely been replaced by an alien clone. Of course, I’m the odd one here. Proximity, and the intimacy implied therein are highly valued among many people, especially watchers of Stand By Me, the 1986 coming of age classic directed by Rob Reiner and based on The Body by Stephen King. This sweet, simple movie about friendship and boyhood along a morbid quest has been a favorite with critics and audiences since release, but what will become of all the walking, talking, and gawking when submitted for approval by the heckling grouches of Magellans at the Movies? Do you want to see a podcast? You can’t, but you can listen to one on today’s brand new episode! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Ah, to be alive in the 1900s, 1910s, 1920s, 1930s, 1940s, and 1950s. When the global power of communism reached its absolute zenith, just about everyone in the world had to team up to forcibly administer Germany two successive chill pills, and the war to end all wars failed its stated purpose. Lots of important stuff happened during the first half of the twentieth century, but here at Magellans at the Movies, we don't talk about important stuff, we talk about movies. Cinema was a very young art form during this time, and some of the most influential movies were made by some of the most influential people as the filmic medium matured. With so many movies across such a long span of time, though, how could anyone know where to start? Perhaps, dear reader, with the official Magellans at the Movies list of the top ten movies of 1900-1959! That's right, folks, we're wrapping up our decade ranking endeavor with a mammoth episode dedicated to consolidating some of the greatest, most iconic movies in the history of cinema down to a list of ten greats. We will bury you in classic movies, so spread the word over there, here, and everywhere that the episode is about to begin! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

There’s nothing quite like a night at the theater. Taking in Shakespeare from within a few hundred to a few dozen feet of the actual, living actors is just a different experience to seeing them from behind the editing and pausability of a film. Haven’t you ever wondered, though, what happens behind the curtain? In high school, it was mostly fart jokes and giggling about who was kissing who in the play, but in the more mature world of professional theater, it’s mostly snappy dialogue and fuming about who is kissing who outside the play. And, I assume, fart jokes. There’s no light being made of flatulence in All About Eve, the 1950 drama directed by Joseph Mankiewicz, but there is a very beloved movie. In fact, this fable of age and ambition is often considered to be among the best movies of all time. Will Nathan and Elliot arrive at a similar conclusion, or will they once again find themselves at odds with the establishment? Buckle your seatbelts and prepare for a bumpy podcast and let’s find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

RAAAAWR!!! Oh, apologies, I didn’t mean to terrify you with my mighty roar. You see, I was just pretending to be a dinosaur. What silly, brutish creatures they were. How unintelligent, how undeveloped, how incompatible with polite society is the crude dinosaur. Wait, what’s that? Dinosaurs weren’t low beasts, but in fact loved, dreamed, feared, and laughed? Of course! You’re right, how could I have forgotten the sentient dinos of The Land Before Time, a 1988 animated adventure directed by Don Bluth? As any good paleontologist will tell you, this film of legendary scientific accuracy depicts dinosaurs as the lovable and energetic entities they truly were, and although the critics weren’t overly impressed, audiences certainly were. For generations, The Land Before Time and its shockingly expansive media franchise have been a mainstay for young movie watchers, including the hosts of Magellans at the Movies. Join us, then, as Nathan and Elliot go to the prehistoric era, when they were but wee lads and wore their grandparents’ VHS of Land Before Time down to an inert plastic brick. Guard your tree star and watch out for earthshakes, let us embark! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Travel. Doesn’t the very concept just send a shiver down your spine? Sure, it’s nice to be at the Brickworks Museum in beautiful Southampton, England, but getting there is a nightmare of lines, layovers, fares, and odors. Honestly it’s enough to put one off of learning about bricks at the premier institute for global brick study in the first place, but is it enough to put you off getting home for a nice Thanksgiving meal? Certainly not for the heroes of Planes, Trains and Automobiles, a 1987 holiday themed comedy about two mismatched travelers struggling to travel across the midwest. This rare Thanksgiving movie is well liked by critics and audiences alike, and frequently enjoys warm retrospectives. Are its itinerant charms enough to earn the gratitude of Nathan and Elliot? Grab your tickets and pack your bags as we find out on today’s brand new episode of Magellans at the Movies! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

You low down dirty rotten scoundrel, I’ll kill you for replacing my cornflakes with a colony of cockroaches! How many times have you heard those words? It’s only natural that when someone is wronged, they desire restitution, sometimes in the form of violent revenge. The next time you play a hilarious prank on someone and they come gunning for you, however, you may wish to show them a film to educate them on the dangers of vengeance. You’ll have quite a lot to choose from, but may we recommend Blue Ruin, a 2013 crime drama directed by Jeremy Saulnier? You probably haven’t heard of this indie flick concerning dead parents, terrible haircuts, and an overwhelming thirst for bloody recriminations, but it earned itself plenty of praise for its unique, minimalistic take on the old “revenge = bad” story. Still not convinced? Then let your old friends from Magellans at the Movies tell you all about it on today’s brand new episode! And if you don’t give the episode five stars, there will be consequences . . . Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Wait! Did you hear that? It was the sound of demonic mischief made as the witching hour unfolds. It was the sound of infernal whispers in the darkness. It was the sound of someone, or something . . . putting mayonnaise in my yogurt?!? Aw come on, that’s just childish! This series of ghostly pranks tells me that I am at the mercy of a very particular breed of hell-sent spirit, a monstrous devil who hates open doors, loves standing, and is extremely camera shy, that’s right, folks, I’ve landed myself on the bad side of the demon from Paranormal Activity! For those not in the know, this rascally wraith first appeared in the Orin Peli-directed found footage movie that released in 2007 and changed the horror game for years to come. This ultra-low budget indie film about a couple recording their supernatural torment scared the bejeezus out of audiences on release, made mountains of cash, and spawned a series that’s . . . wait, seven movies long? Good heavens, with a franchise long-tail like that, the first movie must be something worth talking about, right? I certainly hope so because that’s what we’ll be doing on today’s brand new episode of Magellans at the Movies! Turn on your cameras and don’t stop recording; let’s find out what lurks in the small hours of the night . . . Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

“Hey, Steve, how’s work going on that calendar?” “Oh, hey, Barry. It's going all right, but aren’t you worried this is a little vague?”“Whatever do you mean, Steve?”“Well, what if we haven’t been clear enough about the meaning of the Long Count calendar, and in the future people misunderstand our dating system as prophesying the end of the world?”“Oh, Steve, don't be silly. You’d have to be into some pretty weird New Age beliefs to think that.”“I suppose you’re right, Barry. Say, isn’t it weird how we ancient Mayans have modern English names?”“What’s an English?” Ha ha ha, aren’t they funny, ladies and gents? Anyway, today we’ll be reviewing 2012, a 2009 apocalyptic disaster film directed by Roland Emmerich. Enjoy! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Wizards have a long history, not just in movies, but in fiction generally. Whether they’re running a class action lawsuit just waiting to happen in the form of a deathtrap boarding school, going on road trips to return some seriously defective jewelry, or burning things at random to punctuate each sentence, audiences everywhere delight in sorcerers of screen, page, and stage. Fictional wizards (as opposed to real wizards, of course) could also come in the form of a de facto monarch lording over an enclave of green structures erected in his own selfish image, exchanging favors for the assassination of his geopolitical enemies with random strangers. I’m talking, of course, about the titular magic man of The Wizard of Oz, a 1939 family musical directed by Victor Fleming and based on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum. The Wizard of Oz is beloved, that’s plain to see from its frequent top honors on best-of movie lists, and has dazzled millions of children the world over, but can it withstand the modern cynicism of two men brought up in the torrid fires of the 21st century? Load your squirt gun and wave Kansas goodbye as we join cynics Nathan and Elliot on Magellans at the Movies to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Stand back, coppers, I've got a brainwashed child and I'm not afraid to use it! How many times have you heard that phrase barked from the mouths of bank robbers and rum runners? In the past few months, I know there's not a day that goes by in Kansas City without the sight of gangs aiming military-grade elementary schoolers at each other in tense standoffs. This sudden arsenal of adolescents is, in my opinion, attributable mainly to people misunderstanding the point of Weapons, a 2025 horror movie directed by Zach Cregger. After all, this spine-tingling story of the kids being very much not all right proved to be a surprise summer hit, earning all involved heaps of cash and reams of glowing reviews, but all that celebrating was, of course, premature, since Magellans at the Movies hadn't had their say yet. Today that changes, and the final word on rising horror darling Cregger's latest chiller will be handed down. Will this seal Weapons' ascent into genre divinity, or will the film be sent running into the dark like a kid trying to bodily recreate the outline of that one Star Wars ship? Hide your hair and grab your bell, let's find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

You sleep through your alarm on the day of your big presentation, you leave your wallet at home the one day you decide to push the speed limit, your dad’s human illegal exotic pet empire gets dismantled and the proceeds reclaimed at the very moment you need money for bond, the bomb you intended for the alarm clock company as vengeance for their substandard products explodes in your hand leaving you with quite a bit of egg, and your own arm, on your face; my friends, it truly is one battle after another. Thankfully, while you wait for your richly deserved sentence to be handed down, you can still take your mind off of your troubles at the movies, though for those of us who are feeling like if it’s not one thing, it’s a daggone ‘nother, Paul Thomas Anderson’s latest flick, One Battle After Another, kinda sorta loosely based-ish on Vineland by Thomas Pynchon, might not be distracting so much as magnifying. That’s because this 2025 political/satirical thriller is all about the relentless onslaught of being a former revolutionary trying to raise a daughter in an authoritarian near-future America, and while it may not be relaxing, it is certainly acclaimed. Frankly, that word doesn’t fully explain just how euphorically this film has been received by critics, but the Guardians, New Yorkers, and Chicago Sun-Timeses are easy pickings, earning a kind word from Magellans at the Movies? Now that’s a feat worth putting on the DVD case. Will this kooky caper be able to pull off such a coup? Grab your AK and don your bonnet rouge and let’s find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Moving on can be hard for many reasons, but for those of us leaving behind disinterested parents, monthslong torture, and the deaths of most everyone we care about, consigning most of our lives to memory lane is more than welcome. I, for example, yearn to relocate to a remote village in the Alps and thereby escape the many obligations I've accumulated to the wealthy investors in my "dog to human translation" company, but that's a silly example. For a more serious case, look no further than Jesse Pinkman's mission to get the heck out of Dodge/Albuquerque as seen in El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie, a 2019 crime drama directed by Vince Gilligan. This brief coda to the central narrative of Breaking Bad, released midway through Better Call Saul's run, was hardly the object of scorn, but never quite got the same stratospheric acclaim as its parent shows, and is more than likely in third place on most fans' Breaking Bad universe rankings. Where will it land on the lists of Breaking Bad fans Nathan and Elliot Magellan? Yo, start the episode to find out, b****.Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

A star is born. Not because a mommy star and a daddy star loved each other very much, or even because a clump of matter and gas collapsed under its own gravity (I think), but because a person has a talent for singing which they perform for a wide listening audience. What transpires across the lifespan of our newborn star has historically varied, but common themes include substance abuse, fraught relationships, and, if they're very lucky, Oscars. I'm talking, of course, about the 2018 musical romance A Star is Born, directed by Bradley Cooper. This melodic melodrama was favored by critics and audiences alike, who swooned for its hot stars and earworm-packed soundtrack, but Magellans at the Movies are made of sterner stuff. Will they be won over by all the kissing and the crooning, or will their review be a song of only sour notes? Maybe it's time to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Oh no! There’s been a glitch in the matrix, forcing the Wachowskis to reload their save! Thankfully they’ve backed up their data and can proceed with the first of two planned sequels wrapping up the original Matrix trilogy. The Matrix Reloaded, like so many sequels, tries to follow up a groundbreaking first installment by embodying a single word: more. More elaborate kung fu fisticuffs, more Agent Smiths, more convoluted philosophizing, more whisper-talk, and of course, much more latex. The result is a dense, action-packed, confusing, and slightly kinky middle act that, while hardly an object of derision, is generally agreed to suffer from the shadow of its older brother. It is also a movie that Nathan has never seen, despite enjoying the classic first Matrix. Will he find more favor in this good-but-not-great sophomore outing, or will he reject the code and find freedom, and entertainment, elsewhere? Jack in to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Ah, to be alive in the 60s. When reds hid under beds for reasons unknown, protestors in the street inquired as to the precise uses of war, and men arrived on the moon, decided it was a bit nothing, and moved back to Earth. Yes, the period of time between January 1st, 1960 and December 31st, 1969 sure was a barrel of laughs, some of which could be enjoyed at the movies for the low low price of some shoelaces, probably. Indeed, they made a whole heap of movies during the 60s, which makes it hard for the man or woman on the go to discern which ones are the best of the bunch. Luckily, that’s why we have podcasts like Magellans at the Movies, which will today be compiling their official list of the best films released in the 1960s! Ich bin ein film lover and so are you, so let’s get down to business of the episode! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Pitiless cruelty. Vicious misanthropy. Terror in every eye, rumor in every mouth, escape on every mind. No, I’m not talking about my extremely hardcore bookclub, I’m talking about high school! No one likes high school, that’s why making jokes about its abundant unpleasantness is so creative and funny, but the fact that high school is an almost universally shared experience makes it prime fodder for movies. One of the most enduring examples of this curious genre is undoubtedly Mean Girls, a 2008 teen comedy directed by Mark Waters. This sarcasm-heavy female-centric kneeslapper aimed to speak into the lives or pasts of every girl who’s had to suffer the rat race of popularity, and boy did it find an army of attentive ears. Mean Girls was and remains hugely popular among critics and audiences, and today Magellans at the Movies will be offering their two cents on the film to rather fewer, rather less attentive ears. Brush up on your calculus and DON’T WEAR A XXXL MEN’S HUMOROUS EAT MY SHORTS BART SIMPSON COMMEMORATIVE T-SHIRT BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT I’M WEARING AND I’VE BEEN PLANNING MY OUTFIT SINCE LAST WEEK AND YOU ALWAYS GET TO CHOOSE WHAT YOU WEAR SO WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE WHO HAS TO CHANGE THEIR PLAN AND WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL?!?!?!?!?! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

I don't know about you, but the best part of my day is always coming home. Now, sure, the state of my residence is not always pristine, the neighbor plays dreadful anime music at a deafening volume, and the pallets of weapons grade LSD are prime for toe-stubbing, but whatever the condition of your castle, I think for many of us it's often a relief to get back to it after a long journey. If, however, your journey included things like war, suffering, and a cyclops or two, then your homecoming may be slightly more fraught. That, at least, is the central conceit of The Return, a 2024 drama directed by Uberto Pasolini and based on The Odyssey by Homer. The Return is a far quieter, more stripped back adaptation of literature's defining epic than you may be used to, which, coupled with a lukewarm advertising campaign and decent but unenthusiastic reviews, goes some way towards explaining the faint (and already fading) impact it made on release. Is its obscurity warranted, or is there more to this curious, theatrical adaptation than its diminutive presence in the zeitgeist suggests? To find out, embark on your own odyssey across the airwaves with the aid of the pods on today's new episode of Magellans at the Movies! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

I'm going to write this whole description without referencing the "inconceivable" joke, you watch. What on Earth are you talking about, I hear you ask, embarrassingly revealing yourself to be under the age of forty. Why, my young, Tik-Toking friend, I'm talking about every dad's favorite movie The Princess Bride, of course! This 1987 fantasy/adventure/comedy/romance mashup based on The Princess Bride: S. Morgenstern's Classic Tale of True Love and High Adventure, the "Good Parts" Version by William Goldman may not have set the world on fire on release, but it's since become a beloved pop culture mainstay and common subject of "they don't make 'em like this anymore" grunts by the worldwide elderly population. But can this icon of film withstand the cynical eye of youth projected from the faces of Magellans at the Movies? The answer awaits you in today's new episode! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

All right, gotta write a new jokey, sarcastic description for the podcast. Let’s see what’s on the schedule. Prisoners, eh? Sounds like you’ll be doing hard time with that movie, hyuck hyuck hyuck. Anyways, released in 2013, directed by Denis Villeneuve, about a kidnapping, huh, that’s a tricky one. Family man driven to utter depravity by the loss of his daughter . . . ouch, um . . . I guess there’s a joke in there about overbearing dads losing it at little league games? Men and women making terrible choices out of sheer desperation . . . uh . . . sounds like your typical Friday night at the improv club, right folks? Extensive sequences depicting the torture of a mentally handicapped man . . . graphic onscreen suicide . . . traumatized parents losing their senses of self . . . oh dear . . . maybe you’d better just start the episode. I think I need to go for a walk. Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/