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Aaron and Jenna have been married for over a decade and love talking to people about their relationships, the messiness, the struggle and the victories in all of it. If you're married or planning on it, you can expect 1) Tools for the growth of your marriage and you personally 2) Hope for a healthy marriage no matter what you've experienced up to this point 3) Laughter and comfort when you say, "That's totally us!" and "We've been there!"
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105 Episodes
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"Triggered" has become a buzzword in our culture in recent and it's been commonly used to describe an experience for which someone else is responsible and therefore someone else's responsibility to manage. In this episode, we break down the science of what's happening physiologically when we get triggered and the truth about what we're invited to into when it happens, especially in relationship to our spouses. Our self-awareness around our own triggered states is the first step to t...
In this episode we talk about how our connection with Jesus has grown and been shaped over the past year through small, consistent action.How to Build a Bible Habit That Sticks! - VideoCrisis of Faith episode - Marriage LabDid you know most people give up their Bible Reading plans before February?I made a 15 min video on How-to build one that sticks!< Click to watch & learn > If you know you want to see your Bible Habit thrive in 2025...Become a $9/month supporter of our podca...
1In this episode we talk about one of the central tenets to experiencing life-long sustainable change both within yourself and within your relationships: learning to engage your inner scientist instead of your judge. The judge is your inner critic focusing on the results, casting judgement and contempt towards who you are based on your behavior. The scientist is your inner curiosity focusing on the variables, looking for creative solutions for the underlying reasons behind your behavior.When w...
In this episode we talk over how we intentionally plan for a peaceful holiday season when you both have different ideas about what that means. If you would like an assist in your planning grab a copy of Jenna's Peaceful Christmas PlannerTo learn more about Jenna's 2025 Bible Habit, click here: Bible Habit 2025If you're ready to become a member of the $9/mo tier, click here: patreon.com/TheHabitLab >>> Would you consider financially supporting our shows? <<<We set-up a secure...
In this episode we discuss how often our logical conversations can turn into emotional ones and what to do when that happens. Refer to our episode: How to stop fighting over stupid stuffFor the Peaceful Christmas Planner, email zintmarriagelab@gmail.com. Did you know most people give up their Bible Reading plans before February?I made a 15 min video on How-to build one that sticks!< Click to watch & learn > If you know you want to see your Bible Habit thrive in 2025...Bec...
In this episode, we dive deep into the art of sharing pain with vulnerability and compassion. We also address the common challenge of feeling a deficit after sharing and how to turn to the Lord to fill those emotional gaps. This episode is packed with practical exercises and guidance to help you speak your pain effectively while maintaining love and connection in your relationship. Tune in for powerful strategies that can transform how you and your spouse communicate during difficult moments....
How many times has conflict in your marriage led to a huge blow up? One person starts off by trying to share their heart and an hour later you're both left with more hurt than where it started? There's a reason this happens. Most of the time it can be found when the order of operation is broken. The order of operation in math states that to find the correct answer to an equation, you must know what order to solve it in. When our conflicts go awry, there was likely a break in the proper o...
In this episode, we interview Jill & Mitch Martin who’ve been empty nesters for the past 7 years and what connection has looked like for them before and after their kids left the house.Did you know most people give up their Bible Reading plans before February?I made a 15 min video on How-to build one that sticks!< Click to watch & learn > If you know you want to see your Bible Habit thrive in 2025...Become a $9/month supporter of our podcast to join Jenna's group.Click her...
In this episode we talk about the culture shifting power of apologies; offering them freely and frequently. This is different than fawning which is apologizing for anything and everything in an attempt to appease or placate. This also different than admitting guilt or wrongdoing. The kind of freely-given, frequent apologies we're talking about are those that begin with a recognition that my actions affect my spouse. And there are plenty of scenarios in a given day when I miss the mark. Not be...
This episode shares one of the simplest and yet most profound keys to changing the culture in your marriage. Gratitude. Now hear us out! We will share how gratitude provides one of the greatest ROI's in relationships, how we will face internal resistance to it, what it looks like to create practical habits and real life stories of it at work in our marriage.Did you know most people give up their Bible Reading plans before February?I made a 15 min video on How-to build one that sticks!< Cli...
In this episode, Jenna and Aaron share the secret sauce to seeing change in your marriage. It's simpler than you think. Just more humbling.Did you know most people give up their Bible Reading plans before February?I made a 15 min video on How-to build one that sticks!< Click to watch & learn > If you know you want to see your Bible Habit thrive in 2025...Become a $9/month supporter of our podcast to join Jenna's group.Click here to join through our < patreon membership>&...
In this episode, Jenna and Aaron talk through a conflict they had that morning. This particular one was not a new dynamic in their relationship and had created disconnection many times before. However, this time they successfully paused in dysregulation, intentionally moved towards connection and set some boundaries.Main takeaways:If your buttons are getting pushed, remember, they are your buttons and you are responsible for themIf you are the one unintentionally pushing buttons, it's not you...
In this episode we explore the pitfalls of comparing your spouse to others and the negative impact it can have on your relationship. This comparison can create feelings of judgment and inadequacy, leading to a decline in positive affection and increasing resentment. By idealizing other people's spouses, you set unrealistic expectations and can inadvertently foster a sense of longing or even lust for qualities that are not present in your partner. This pattern is dangerous for creating, healin...
Take 10 week to invest in building better habits with Jenna's Mastery Course <click to-register: open NOW>Class starts Oct 1, 2024-Can passivity be the silent killer in your marriage? In this episode, Aaron and Jenna get real about their own struggles with passivity, sharing how ignoring, avoiding, or delaying discomfort led to feelings of being stuck. Through candid personal stories, they shed light on how this behavior can evolve into rationalizations and bitterness, affect...
Take 10 week to invest in building better habits with Jenna's Mastery Course <click to-register: open NOW>Class starts Oct 1, 2024-In this episode of Marriage Lab, Aaron and Jenna dive into the realities of maintaining a strong connection in marriage, especially during transitions and busy seasons. They share personal stories and insights on how small, consistent habits can significantly impact a marriage's health. They discuss how even brief disconnects, like those experienc...
In this episode, we talk about our tells around defensiveness. What are the signs that we are becoming defensive as a listener, specifically when our spouse is sharing pain? Here are a few we identify within ourselves:The desire to edit the details of what the other person is sharingInterrupting the speakerJudging the speakers thoughts and/or feelingsFeeling anger (frustration, annoyance)Wanting to explain myselfThese are signs that our defenses our up and our ears and empathy is off. Wh...
In this episode our good friends, Jordan and Claire, share with us how they each grew in the ability to care for each others needs despite the fear that their own would never get met. Jenna and I (Aaron), have done a number of Couples Coaching sessions with them in which we witnessed a masterful use of the communication tools in the midst of processing pain and feeling defensiveness.They discuss how to properly validate, have compassion and help the other person feel seen and heard before pas...
It's been both our experience of ourselves and of many other marriages that we've coached, that there is one spouse who has a propensity towards Control. We define "control" as one person's attempt at manipulating the outcome through managing another person's actions. In this episode, Jenna talks about how control shows up for her and what is happening on a deeper level, namely with fear. She lays out the growth path for those who are struggling with trying to control their spouse and th...
In this episode the Zints share about 4 ways to move away from "Roommate mode" and back to intimate connection with your spouse. These include:Sharing openly what you're experiencing without blaming (use emotion language and share about yourself, not the other person).Be intentional with your connection time.Express affection: small gestures of affection like holding, hands, hugging or complimenting each otherGet help. Your marriage shouldn't be lived in isolation. Bring others in for perspec...
Don't be overwhelmed by your summer! You can balance all that's on your plate- while still hitting your hopes. Grab Jenna's mini course as your guide to: Set-Up Your Summer In this episode- Jenna & Aaron talk about how you can do the same thing but with a different motivation- and it can shift everything. What is your motivation? Are you telling yourself you are powerless & "have to do XYZ" because of your spouse? That's your sign your feeding resentment.What if y...
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