Minds and Mics

In this episode of Minds & Mics, Nick chats with author Oliver Burkeman about the imperfectionist mindset and how this counterintuitive idea can help with everything from perfectionism and indecisiveness to procrastination and imposter syndrome.💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTERThe Friendly Mind: https://www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter/📙 OLIVER'S BOOKMeditations for Mortals: https://www.oliverburkeman.comEPISODE TOPICSThe Problem with Self-ImprovementFunction Follows FormWhat Is Imperfectionism?The Oliver Burkeman Thesis StatementSynthesizing the Achiever and the EnjoyerOliver's 4-Hour Workday ExperimentThe Virtues of Deliberate ConstraintThe Psychology of Indecisiveness and OverwhelmDaily-ish as the Antidote to PerfectionismScruffy Hospitality as the Antidote to Imposter Syndrome

Jonny Miller shares his favorite exercise and techniques to lower chronic anxiety by regulating your nervous system.💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTERThe Friendly Mind: https://www.thefriendlymind.com/😇 NICK'S ANXIETY COURSECreating Calm: https://nickwignall.com/creating-calm🫁 JONNY'S COURSENervous System Mastery: https://www.nsmastery.com

Psychologist Nick Wignall and therapist Emma McAdam share their favorite tips for overcoming social anxiety.💌 JOIN NICK'S FREE NEWSLETTERThe Friendly Mind: https://www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/⚒️ LINKS & RESOURCES FROM THE EPISODE→ Painfully Shy by Barbara and Gregory Markway https://www.amazon.com/Painfully-Shy-Overcome-Anxiety-Reclaim/dp/0312316232→ The Assertiveness Workbook by Randy Paterson  https://www.amazon.com/Assertiveness-Workbook-Express-Yourself-Relationships/dp/1648480276/→ Emma's Anxiety Course: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/anxietyskills→ Nick's Anxiety Course: https://nickwignall.com/creating-calm/

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I chat with trauma and resilience researcher Dr. George Bonanno.Show Notes:How to think clearly about trauma and PTSDCommon misconceptions about traumaThe resilience paradoxThe problem with the PTSD diagnosisTrauma concept creepHow to develop resilience (The flexibility sequence)The end of trauma?Lisa Feldman BarretMechanisms underlying beneficial effects of exercise on mood and emotional healthLearn more about Dr. Bonanno and his work here:George Bonanno (Personal Website) →The End of Trauma (Book) →Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I chat with Dr. Daniel Erichsen about better sleep for high-achievers.

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I chat with Liz Fosslien about her new book, Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay. We cover topics like perfectionism vs healthy striving, the difference between envy and jealousy, burnout and the Amazon Zen Booth, revenge bedtime procrastination, and the role of personal responsibility in mental health.Show NotesThe dark side of “coping” with difficult feelingsNo Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at WorkJealousy vs envyBenign vs malicious envyThe role of personal responsibility in mental healthThe Amazon Zen BoothHow organizations can actually help foster well-being and resilienceThe relationships between burnout and self-awarenessWhy setting boundaries is so hard (and how to make it a little easier)Revenge bedtime procrastinationEmotional opportunity costPerfectionism and self-kindnessHealthy striving vs perfectionismThe benefits of playfulnessLearn more about Liz and her work here:Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay (book)LizandMollie.com (website)Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I chat with Dr. Steve Hayes, the founder of Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT). We talk about everything from the importance of psychological flexibility and emotional tolerance to the future of psychotherapy and what to look for in a great therapist.Show NotesPsychological flexibilityPsychological rigiditySocial anxiety and panic attacksWhere does self-judgment and negative self-talk come from?The psychological function of religion and wisdom traditionsEmotional tolerance3rd wave behavior therapy, process-based therapy, and the future of psychotherapyWhat to look for in a good therapist 2nd wave humanistic therapyLearn more about Steve and his work here:The Liberated Mind (Book)Steven C Hayes (website)Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

In the latest episode of Minds & Mics, I chatted with Michael Bungay Stanier about his new book How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters and a range of topics, including the obligation we all have to be "doubly ambitious," why SMART goals aren't usually very smart, the case for working in 6-week cycles, and the genius of cartoonist Gary Larson.Show NotesWhat makes a book useful?The Coaching HabitBeing “doubly ambitious” How to think about overwhelm: realistic, consistent, grace Working in 6-week cyclesWhy Michael hates SMART goalsShould we follow our passion? Relaxing into commitmentPrizes and punishments of maintaining the status quoThe Call of the Wild (Gary Larson)The value of the humble pros and cons listLearn more about Michael and his work here:How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters (Book)Michael's WebsiteGet New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

Kai Koch is the co-founder of ahead, which is a software company and app for building emotional intelligence. We talk about the opportunities and challenges for technology in emotional health, self-awareness, emotional intelligence in organizations, and what the future of technology-assisted emotional health might look like.Show NotesThe unique benefits of mobile technology for emotional healthMaking self-awareness socialMaking personal growth socialEmotional granularityEmotional intelligence in organizationsThe future of technology for emotional healthLearn more about Kai and his work here:Ahead AppSelf-Awareness TestGet New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

Sleep psychologist Dr. Jade Wu returns to the show to talk specifically about sleep issues for new moms, including what’s normal and what should be addressed professionally, how sleep and postpartum depression interact, intrusive thoughts and anxiety, and some practical tips for new moms to get their sleep back on track.Show NotesHow sleep changes in pregnancy and postpartumSleep deprivation vs circadian disruptionsTypes of sleep disturbances that predict postpartum depressionTips for minimizing sleep issues as a new parentHow much to nap as a new momWhat old-school pediatricians get wrong about sleep with new babiesParasomnias in pregnancy and postpartumExploding head syndromeSleep paralysisPostpartum anxietyREM rebound and nightmaresIntrusive thoughtsSleep apnea and sleep-disordered breathingPoor sleep and postpartum depression Learn more about Jade and her work here:Website: JadeWuPHD.comTwitter: @jadewuphdGet New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

Jade and I chat about uncommon sleep misconceptions, how to deal with nightmares, intergenerational sleep trauma, the problem with sleep hygiene, and the message about sleep Jade wants carved on her gravestone.Show NotesUncommon sleep myths and misconceptionsMy other chat about sleep myths with Dr. Daniel ErichsenBetter Sleep with insomnia coach Martin ReedCognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I)Conditioned arousalBed time vs rise timeHow much deep sleep do you actually need?What causes nightmares?The behavioral model of nightmares and imagery rehearsal therapy ParasomniasSleep and social justiceIntergenerational sleep traumaThe problem with sleep hygieneTired vs sleepyThe message about sleep Jade wants carved on her gravestoneLearn more about Jade and her work here:Website: JadeWuPHD.comTwitter: @jadewuphdGet New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I talk with author Nir Eyal about the relationship between technology use and wellbeing among children, parenting in the age of social media, and the virtues of getting out of your kids’ way.Show NotesHere are some of the highlights from our conversation:Common misconceptions about kids and technology useWhy screen time is a pointless metricWhat’s really behind increased rates of suicide and depression among kids?The mental health benefits of technologyRoot vs proximate cause of technology overusePsychological nutrientsDeci and Ryan’s self-determination theoryThe importance of free playThe Gardener and the Carpenter by Alison GropnikVariable reinforcementPlay Anything by Ian BogostMindset by Carol DweckWhy consistent family meals are so importantImplementation intentions and timeboxingYou can learn more about Nir and his work here:NirAndFar (Wesbite)Indistractable: How to Control Your attention and Choose Your Life (Book)Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I talk with psychologist and author Pia Callesen about overthinking and the metacognitive approach to emotional struggles like anxiety and depression.Show NotesHere are some of the highlights from our conversation:What is overthinking, exactly?Types of overthinkingThe 2 reasons why we overthinkThe difference between anxious and depressive overthinkingOverthinking as a universal mechanism for emotional sufferingScheduled overthinkingMetacognitive Therapy vs traditional Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)Metacognitive Therapy vs Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)The busy train station metaphorThe windowpane experimentThe problem with coping skillsHow will psychotherapy be different in 50 years?You can learn more about Pia and her work here:Pia’s websitePia’s book: Live More Think Less: Overcoming Depression and Sadness with Metacognitive TherapyPia’s article on overthinking in Psyche: How to Stop OverthinkingGet New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I talk with my friend Rosie Sherry about how she made the news for being a "reckless" parent, her distinctive approach to unschooling her kids, authenticity and vulnerability on social media, and what it means to practice self-care as a full-time community builder and mother of five.Show NotesHere are some of the highlights from our conversation:UnschoolingThe struggle to treat each child as they needHow Rosie thinks about self-careDealing with self-care guilt, especially as a momBarriers to women and mom breaking into the world of IndieHackingHow to encourage communities to be more vulnerableSurprising things Rosie as a creator struggles withEncouraging authenticity over cleverness on social mediaRosie’s advice to follow visions and missions, not peopleYou can learn more about Rosie and her work here:RosielandRosie on TwitterGet New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I talk with Jay Clouse, the creator and host of one of my favorite podcasts, Creative Elements. Jay and I get into the details of creative overwhelm and burnout and how Jay manages it.Show NotesHere are some of the highlights from our conversation:What does overwhelm actually look like for Jay?Hard works as a response to feeling overwhelmedRespect for deadlines as a core part of Jay’s identityJay’s approach to “de-scoping” his schedule and task list to combat overwhelmUnderestimating the maintenance cost of evergreen productsThe investment banker and the fishermanHow does Jay think about work-life balance and what enough looks like?Why it’s so hard to say no and let go?Cultural pressure to keep doing more and never let goHow Jay thinks about self-care and what it looks like when the “red light” is flashing.What it looks like to really show up emotionally for important people in his life.Has being a podcaster and community builder made Jay a better listener in his personal life?Jays biggest insecurity as a creatorYou can learn more about Jay and his work here:JayClouse.com (website)Creative Elements (podcast)Podcast Like the Pros (course)Upside (podcast)Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released

Oliver Burkeman joins me to talk about the problem with the narrow concept of time management and how we mere mortals ought to think about managing our time instead.Show NotesTime management for 4-year-oldsThe narrow vs broad meaning of time managementThe importance trap and the temptation to “clear the decks”Anti-skills, negative capability, and the superpower that is emotional toleranceThe Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive ThinkingElizabeth Gilbert’s Big MagicThe relationship between expectations and controlDavid Kane’s RaptitudeWeirdly modern conceptions of timeMeditation teacher Joseph GoldsteinAre all expectations unhealthy?Zen and the Art of Motorcycle MaintenanceThe case for wasting time and atelic activitiesOliver’s to-do list recommendationsCal Newport’s Deep WorkJames Hollis’ Finding Meaning in the Second Half of LifeSusan Jeffers' Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and Embracing UncertaintyWhat’s wrong with the self-help genre?The wounded healerJesse Singal and cranky self-helpDavid Brook’s The Second MountainMarilynne Robinson“Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?”Douglas Harding’s On Having No HeadSeneca’s On the Shortness of LifeMary Oliver: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”Learn more about Oliver and his work here:Oliver’s book: Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for MortalsOliver’s website and (excellent) weekly newsletter: OliverBurkeman.comGet New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist as well as the host of the popular YouTube channel, Therapy in a Nutshell. In today's episode, Emma and I talk about emotional processing and the most important ideas and skills we can learn to manage painful feelings in a healthy and productive way.Show NotesWhat is emotional processing?Why is emotional processing important?Wilderness therapyWhy is it so hard to talk about our feelings?Primary vs secondary emotionsBasic emotional processing skillsFeeling emotions in our bodiesEmotional check-insIntellectualizing emotionsAcceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)The importance of willingnessBig Magic and the Fear Monster by Liz GilbertValues-based decision-makingThe meaning of emotionsEmotional confusionLearn more about Emma and her work here:Therapy in a Nutshell (YouTube)WebsiteGet New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

Dr. Christian Jarrett joins me on the show to discuss the science of personality change and to what extent we can deliberately modify our own personality.Show NotesWhat is personality, exactly?The Big 5 Theory of Personality What makes a personality theory valid?How writing a book changed how Christian sees personalityWhat are the mechanisms of significant personality shifts?Personality adaptabilityNeuroticismAre certain personality traits good or bad? Healthy or pathological?The most underrated principle for effective personality changeAre we really the average of the five people we spend the most time around?The Michelangelo EffectOrder effects in personality change: Inside out or outside in?Learn more about Christian and his work here:PsychologyWriter.org.uk (Personal Website)TwitterPsyche MagazineGet New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

In this episode of Minds & Mics, I talk with Martin Reed, a health coach who specializes in helping clients with insomnia and sleep issues. Show NotesHere are some of the highlights from our conversation:Martin’s own struggles with insomnia and how they led him to become an insomnia educator and coachCoaching vs therapy for insomnia and sleep issuesThe dangers of insomnia “communities”Similarities in what causes insomniaWhat makes a case of insomnia “extreme”?Sleep traumaThe one thing Martin wishes people would do for better sleep healthMisguided cultural messages around sleepThe future of sleep healthSomething Martin’s changed his mind about recently about sleep and insomniaHow Martin deals with occasional bouts of poor sleepYou can learn more about Martin and his work here:InsomniaCoach.com (Website)Martin on YouTubeMartin on TwitterGet New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

In this episode of Minds and Mics, I talk with Melody Wilding, a leadership and executive coach who specializes in helping sensitive high-achievers who are tired of getting in their own way, including struggling with imposter syndrome.Show NotesHere are some of the highlights from our conversation:Sensitive striversThe big 5 personality traitsDr. Elaine Aron and the highly sensitive personIs “fake it ‘till you make it” good advice?Imposter syndromeHow can parents help their kids avoid developing imposter syndrome?How can you get better and genuinely accepting praise and compliments?How do I know if imposter syndrome is something I can work through on my own or if it’s something I should get professional help for?How does company culture influence imposter syndrome?How can we build resilience against imposter syndrome?Is it a good idea to follow your intuition and your trust your gut?Is it better to focus on changing your beliefs or your actions?Should we simply accept negative thoughts and painful feelings or try to examine them?You can learn more about Melody and her work here:MelodyWilding.com (website)Trust Yourself (book)Get New Episodes FirstLearn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.