My Mormon Memory

In this episode, I finish phase one of my podcast (My faith crisis) with how it went when I told my Dad I was leaving the Mormon Church. Also in this episode, I talk about my older Brother’s horrible LDS mission experience, and how he and my other siblings left the church before me.  The next episodes will be Phase 2 of my podcast and I’ll tell my entire Mormon upbringing, from childhood to my LDS mission. From my Mother's conversion story to my early marriage.   

This episode is a good one!  I talk about the moment I talked to my wife about my Mormon doubts I’m having and it went much better than expected. I then talk about the meeting I had with my bishop and how poorly he took it (Poorly and creepy). I also bring up the issues I have with most Mormon leaders and how they aren't really “Christ-like” and are just morally crooked businessmen who use fear and judgment for doubters like me.  Enjoy the episode, thanks for listening.  

In this episode of my Mormon Memory, I talk about the aftermath of the crappy events of the past few episodes and start to uncover wave after wave of Mormon truth I had no clue about. I talk about the moment that my shelf fell apart - the moment I knew 100% that Mormonism was false. That my whole life up to that point was a lie.  In this episode, I talk about what made me decide that it was all false, and how I was worried about my wife finding out. Enjoy.  

This is a very hard episode to put together. This was what I call the 3rd and final knockout blow during my faith crisis within Mormonism and where I felt I needed to do something. This episode tells about the incident in Oregon and the missionary who made me kind of spill the beans that I was losing my faith in the Mormon Church. This was hard to talk about since I still struggle with what happened that summer and that missionary, who couldn’t mind his self-righteous business about my children. Enjoy and listen.

In this episode, I talk about the final days at an MLM company I worked for. How they got busted by the feds and how I got laid off right before buying a house. This episode is an angry one so enjoy. This one was very hard to record and had to relive it again.  In this episode, I talk about how the company I worked for grew by the millions, bought a massive office building, and was sponsored at a BYU football game. My wife and I planned to buy our first house, however, thinking that my job was safe, I got the call into the meeting that I was getting fired anyway, the day before I was closing on a house. This hurt me and gave me even more of an existential crisis and a feeling of betrayal by my company and my managers. And the way the company treated me as I left wasn't helpful.  So enjoy this episode of My Mormon memory, it's a healthy one.

In this episode of My Mormon Memory, I talk about my final day at the LDS church job and the MLM I fled to. This MLM is just like what you expect: They are loud, crooked, mysterious, and make a ton of money! But, how did they make all their money?  Well, it took me a few months to figure that out. This is the first of two parts of my experience working for a LDS-ran Utah Valley MLM. 

In this episode, I recap my feelings about leaving my job at the Mormon Church and the state I was living in at the time. I mention how it felt like I was living in a lie and I started questioning my world. I felt like everything I lived up to that point, was a lie and I started to question EVERYTHING. Even my own existence. This is a shorter episode but a very good one.

In episode 6 I continue Phase 1 of my podcast and record the 4th and final part of my experience working for the Mormon Church in Salt Lake City. In another hard episode to record, "Suffering in Silence" I bring up the aftermath of the last episode and how co-workers were ignoring and shunning me within the LDS Church office department. With found no work from anywhere, and felt like my entire life was one big lie.  From being too scared to tell my wife about my feelings of doubt, to the coworker who rejected a simple act of kindness and help on my part. From a fiasco of not getting paid for two weeks, to losing my temper at a bus driver. This was a hard episode to retell. 

In episode 5 I continue Phase 1 of my podcast and record the 3rd part of my experience working for the Mormon Church in Salt Lake City. In a hard epsiode to record, "The Walk Out Of The Meeting" I bring up one of the worst memories of my adult life. After the first few months of feeling like I was fitting in at the LDS church office publishing department, and making tons of friends, and feeling trust from them. I got called into a meeting with the boss and found out I things weren't all that swell after all.

In episode 4 I continue Phase 1 of my podcast and start the second part of my experience working for the Mormon church office building in Salt Lake City. In this episode "The First day" I talk about my first day at the COB (church office building) and feeling like everything was going to be fine. Little did I knew the path I started to walk down.

In episode 3 I continue Phase 1 of my podcast and start the first part of my experience working for the Mormon church office building in Salt Lake City. In this episode "The Spiritual Buzzsaw" I talk about my job interview at the COB (church office building) and feeling like I was inside the Death Star! This is the first part of my experience Working for the LDS Church

In episode 2 I start Phase 1 of my podcast. I talk about my memory of when I started to uncover uncomfortable information about my church for the first time as a 30-year-old man. I start to place issues on a shelf in my mind, doubts and issues, about my faith. I mention the Rock-in-a-hat and View of the Hebrews, along with finding out the church founder had more than one wife.  In this episode, I also talk about that fateful day in college when I ran into a Mormon Church business employee and set up a job interview with him. This episode started my faith crisis.

This is my story! My Mormon Memory is a podcast about my 40-year journey. From me joining Mormonism, growing up within it, and leaving it as an adult. This is the introduction to the podcast as a whole.  In this episode I talk about what to expect in this podcast, which I would imagine, will be many episodes long. The purpose of this podcast is not to destroy the LDS faith but to bring awareness to people in and out of Mormonism that my story is one of many. Stories from folks who were raised Mormon and found it not to be so kind to their mental health. My story is about being a Mormon with mental health, depression, and social anxiety.  I'm now 40 years old, I'm a total mess, I thought I knew the truth, I was taught what I thought was true, but not. Now, I'm like a child again, trying to pick up the pieces, in trying to figure out the universe.  Join me on my journey...